Hypothetically, If Queen Latifah Dated Women, She Wouldn’t Be Dating One Right Now

feature image via Helga Esteb / Shutterstock.com

Close your eyes, dear reader, and imagine a purely hypothetical world in which Bessie actress and living legend Queen Latifah were queer. She’d probably have dated her personal trainer at one point, though knowing Queen Latifah, we can speculate that she’d probably never publicly refer to her partner of eight years or so as her partner in public. In our awfully creative imaginations, Queen Latifah would have more recently been dating choreographer Eboni Nichols, whom she met when Nichols helped choreograph a routine for Latifah for her guest appearance on Dancing With The Stars. The awfully friendly pair would have been spotted “sharing a kiss” on a beach in Sardinia or “looking happy” in casual outerwear as they strolled through Manhattan. They’d spend more than a year together, taking friendly vacations and enjoying clandestine glove lunches, without confirming any kind of non-platonic relationship to the obnoxious paparazzi.

Gal pals - photo via Xposure

Gal pals having fun being friends – photo via Xclusive Pix/Xposure

Well, if that sounds like too much for your little brain to handle, don’t even worry about it  — because if Queen Latifah were to date Eboni Nichols, they reportedly would have broken up a few months ago, so it’s not even a thing.

The pair have not been photographed together in any sort of friendly arrangement whatsoever since late October, and an anonymous source close to the probably imaginary couple exclusively told Radar that if Queen and Eboni had been dating, they would have split in late 2015. Probably Queen Latifah had already bought Eboni a really nice Christmas present and felt like she just had to give it to her at this point — we really don’t know, we’re merely speculating. Breakups are hard, even if they never really happened because nobody’s talking about it and also are only breakups between friends.

If they were ever doing this in a more than friends-y way, they're sure not doing that anymore! Via Splash

If they were ever doing this in a more than friends-y way, they’re sure not doing that anymore! Via Splash News

Recently, Latifah (born Dana Owens) made headlines for announcing to the world that she was thinking about becoming a mother, having finally sown all her wild oats. “I had to get a lot of partying out of my system early in life for about 40 years,” she explained to E! Online. “You know what I’m saying. I’m good now. I think I’m ready.”

It’s difficult to imagine a world in which the famously tight-lipped Queen Latifah were into dating girls, but even if you thought she might be, it’s not something you have to think about anymore. It’s not happening. Definitely not with Eboni Nichols, not now.

Last year, Latifah was quoted as saying that she doesn’t see homosexuality as a “character flaw,” so there’s that.

raw

Queen Latifah’s new movie Miracles From Heaven opens March 16.

UPDATE: The rumor mill appears to be implying that if in our wildest dreams Queen Latifah happened to be dating a new person, it could be actress Paula Patton, perhaps best known as the ex-wife of confirmed dirtbag Robin Thicke. On Monday, Patton accompanied Queen Latifah to the Hollywood premiere of the film Perfect Match. It was on that very red carpet that Ms. Patton told E! Online that she’s looking for kindness, intelligence and compassion in a partner, and that she was very open to dating these days. Seems like a weird thing to say to a reporter when you’re (definitely not) on a date, but we here at Autostraddle Vapid Fluff HQ will be keeping a close eye on this story as details emerge.

Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at Autostraddle.com. She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 428 articles for us.

26 Comments

    • It’s been available on HBOGo for a bit now! That is if you have access to that kind of shazzle. Or if you hypothetically have access through a friend who definitely doesn’t know you still steal it from her…

  1. I know this is vapid fluff, but I really don’t like that you’ve linked to the Daily Mail. It’s nothing more than a hate-mill, having previously hounded Lucy Meadows (who later committed suicide) by threatening to out her as transgender, and Lilly Wachowski has recently said that they approached her about publishing an article outing her as well.

    Please don’t contribute to their ad revenue by providing click-throughs.

  2. This article is amazing and Queen has been a crush since Cleo! Hypothetically speaking, if she and Paula Patton are a thing, I think I have space in my uterus to be a surrogate.

    Because, omgsexypaulapattonandsexyqueenwantababyyes!!!11exclamationpoint

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