Ramin Setoodeh returns to his exalted position as Worst Person of the (Gay) (News)Week.

The OUT 100 debuts — what straight girl will make the cover? How hot is Rachel Maddow in her photo exactly – is she ‘Rachel Maddow in Iraq’ hot? Amos Mac! Chely Wright! Katie Miller! Wow. So much more. I mean you’ve just got to see this. Bang-able.

Lea Michele and Dianna Agron are scantily clad in this month’s GQ, and naturally various groups have assorted feelings about it. Cute bra, though.

Samantha Ronson never wants to talk about her relationship with Lindsay Lohan nearly as much as we do. Also, she’s not gay, she’s an “equal opportunity player.” The more you know…

Queen Latifah still ain’t confirming she’s a homo, Adam Lambert fends off boys & girls in new interview, Kathy Griffin lays the smackdown on Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View and smooches Mariska Hargitay, watch We Have to Stop Now’s free episode right here, and the new Riot Grrrls.

It’s finally happening: Ellen Page is going to play a real live lesbian on the big screen. We take a deeper look at the story behind her lesbian debut in Freeheld and analyze her former roles where she wasn’t gay, but still warmed our gay hearts.

The history of lesbian closeting in Hollywood — and why, even today, so many lesbians prefer to stay in the closet. Also a Desperate Housewives lesbian storyline mini-cap, Tila Tequila’s Australian karaoke, an amazing Taylor Swift parody and Lindsay Lohan’s new interview.

L Magazine’s gender-bending photoshoot features Nicole Pacent of Anyone But Me, sidenote new ep of Anyone But Me! Adam Lambert calls the shots and the shots are “theatrical, out there” and “proud to be gay.” Also; Lady Gaga in 3D, lesbian werewolf movie, Chloe Sevigny’s Big Gay Interview, Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend IRL, The Princess and the Frog goes gender-neutral, Jason Mraz/Elton John, Sean Hayes/Kristin Chenoweth and more!

Apparently the gay agenda isn’t working today ’cause no one wants to be a lesbian BUT who cares, This American Life’s 2002 ep about how homos aren’t crazy is streaming online this week! Also; homophobia in African-American churches, Johnny Weir on “That’s Gay!”, the upside of depression, Caster Semenya is not the real Middlesex, Clay Aiken’s HRC speech FTW, Crystal Renn interviewed, “Bro-etry,” 10 Reasons to Avoid the Phone and more!

Ellen DeGeneres invites Constance McMillen to her show and Cat Cora speaks out to support Constance. No one believes the guy who says he booked Adam Lambert & Lady Gaga for a launch party at the local park. Johnny Weir is a tough man to track down, are Glambert & Gaga performing together, Tina Fey in Esquire magazine, a new lesbian sci-fi flick, The Real L Word sets a debut date, Ellen Von Unwerth’s lesbo-sexy music video, Jennifer Coolidge, Kathy Griffin and Ugly Betty’s gay kiss.

Sara’s adorable interview with the Boston Globe and Tegan & Sara’s new Alligator video (dancing in winter coats!). Also; Kathy Griffin’s SVU guest spot has her lesbian lusting for Olivia Benson (REALLY!), Lady Gaga & RedOne in the studio, “We Have to Stop Now” photoshoot, Ewan McGregor’s gay sex w/Jim Carrey, ANTM’s maybe-lesbian, GLAAD honors Wanda Sykes & Scary Spice gets alternative lifestyle haircut.

Glaad says Valentine’s Day is secretly gay, The Real World DC mini-recap, Out Media’s $10K contest for college queers (you could win!), Modern Family’s gay dad interviewed, Rihanna heats bisexual rumors, Porita behind-the-scenes, Gaga & Cyndi Lauper continue their talk show tour and talk about their gay followings, Ellen will be dancing on TV for 3 more years, best Single Ladies parody ever, LiLo misses her flight, Melissa Etheridge’s new album, and Janeane Garofalo dream job on 30 Rock.

Bisexual Lindsay Lohan wants to get back together with Sam, but is now sticking to the “Sam is the only girl I ever liked” storyline. We know it’s just a story, but we explain why it matters that they’re making her tell it. Gaga exemplifies the modern age with her stardom. Natalie Portman is working on a female stoner comedy. Oh, and we shamelessly ask you to vote for us in some contests!

Much ado about actresses surviving the ordeal of lesbian kisses — why do these confessions make headlines? Autostraddle & the ladies of AfterEllen weigh in. Also; Lindsay Lohan looks cute again!, Andy Warhol’s TV show, more GLEE guests (NPH!), Law & Order SVU features Mischa Barton and a legitimately hilarious Golden Globes wardrobe breakdown.

Jennifer Beals shares tips for heavenly living, we play photohunt! Sundance darling The Kids Are Alright features Annette Bening and Julianne Moore playing a lesbian couple, Tracy Ullman does Rachel Maddow and Lady Gaga raises $ for Haiti. Bring it On has so many straight-to-video sequels, why is it such a smash hit? Plus, is indie dead? Will anyone agree to be in a Real L Word scene besides the cast? Will Queen Latifah adopt a child or three from Haiti?

Adam Lambert talks to Oprah about higher powers, being a homo & having no regrets, goes shopping on Melrose and performs (and Queerty doesn’t like it). There’s a new book about lesbians throughout history. Nerve has a list of 10 child stars you probably want to do now that they’re legal. Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker will have more gays this year. And Tim Tebow has filmed a commercial for Focus on the Family.

Happy New Year! Happy Palindrome Day! They’re giving “The Babysitters Club” a makeover and not the Claudia kind! Are you still hung over? Would it make you feel better to see pictures of Lilo in a bikini? Also: New Hampshire midnight marriages, Megan Fox’s feelings about kissing girls, and LESBIAN TEACHER SEX BRAWLS.

Vogue Evolution, the all-gay dance crew with a transgender female lead, wowed the judges for another week at ABDC. Blogger calls out Bill Clinton for DOMA & DADT. Plus Megan Fox makeout, Lesbian Vampire Killers, Lady Gaga spits out men, images from the Great National Kiss-In, Craigslist monday and more! Did you know that ostriches are bad at mating because they always fall in love with humans? Just like lesbians & straight girls!

Samantha & Lindsay are back on, Lady GaGa is on the cover of Out magazine, Lisa Carver battles Xanax, Meghan McCain battles Michelle Malkin, Fiona Duets, Right Wing Conspires to get Ex-Gay Books into Libraries.

We are all intersex, we’re not here to make friends, Michael Jackson and his kids, people don’t know who the celeb-gays are, bisexuals kill people, gays come home, NARTH publishes fake study in fake journal, teachers say yes to marriage equality.