Your Completely Queer Guide To Horoscope Hookups

gemini_300x300GEMINI (May 20 – June 21) Gemini is all about brain power. You think that an intellectualism and wit that rivals your own is the pinnacle of sexiness. You’ve probably entertained the sexy librarian fantasy more than once in your life. You’re known for your text messages that say all the right things, and you’ve picked up a lady or two on puns alone. You are a great communicator, and you’ll find you’re loved for your mind even more than your sweet body. Of all the signs, you’re the most likely to experience anxiety and withdraw into your psyche as a defense mechanism, and your ideal partner knows how to draw you out of that space and keep your brain agile at the same time.

U-Haul Material – Aries, Libra, Aquarius

Explosive Fingerblasting Chemistry – Gemini, Scorpio, Capricorn

Beware of Trainwreck – Taurus, Cancer, Virgo

Best Lesbros Forever – Leo, Sagittarius, Pisces

GEMINI and ARIES You can’t turn down the heat with these babes. Aries is everything Gemini finds attractive in a partner. The sex is mind-blowingly good. The chemistry flows with witty banter, and you better believe their brains have been doing the dirty before they even got undressed. This is sexy librarian shit right here. While the sexual compatibility is off the charts, longterm relationships might not be in the cards for these kids. Count on an Aries to get hot and bothered when they spy Gemini, but Gemini doesn’t like the constant attention and neediness of Aries, while Aries needs to be entertained in order to maintain interest. At the end of the day, these two might actually be too good for each other. They’re smart enough to realize that it’s worth being fuckbuddies, but they’ve got very different needs in longer relationships and there’s no need to sour the sex with emotional malarkey.

GEMINI and TAURUS Taurus needs security and stability, and that is not in Gemini’s job description. Gemini craves constant newness and isn’t great at followthrough, while Taurus is looking to settle into something comfortable. While Taurus may initially be intrigued by Gemini’s sexy elusive side, their needs are not going to get met, and Gemini will be driven to their worst. A lot of breaking up, getting back together, and then breaking up again. These two will probably never make up their minds about whether or not the relationship is working. Sex could be really good or really bad, depending on both of their moods at the time. It’s going to be the kind of hot mess your friends will be talking about for years to come.

GEMINI and GEMINI Never a dull moment with a pair of twins. Gemini on Gemini is intellectually spicy and make sure these two are the life of every party. There is undeniable chemistry, and they’ve been exchanging sexy banter since the first time they met, but turning this into a longterm affair is going to be more trouble than it might be worth. Gemini’s attention span is not particularly lengthy, and their interest in the relationship may wane before its time. And between the two of them, decision making is going to be a headache and a half – neither knows how to be firm on an issue, and seriousness is something they can only see in a negative light. A night or two will be fun and sexy as all hell, but trying for the long run is going to be a task, and Geminis are not fond of tasks.

GEMINI and CANCER This is a relationship best left untested. Cancer’s sensitive and emotional side demands a great deal from the mercurial Gemini, and Gemini has always found neediness to be a turn-off. They might hit it off at Queer Speed Dating when Gemini’s smooth talking makes Cancer swoon, and Cancer’s lack of communication is fascinating to intellectual Gemini, who might see the crab as a puzzle to solve. Unfortunately, the solved puzzle only reveals that Cancer’s deep emotions need someone to slowly and surely appreciate them, and Gemini’s attention is on new and more stimulating things faster than your iTunes switches to a Robyn song. If Gemini figures out that feelings can be fascinating unto themselves, and if Cancer can learn to communicate, there might be a potential for something here, but it’ll take careful navigation.

GEMINI and LEO Gemini loves excitement, and Leo’s dynamic edge means that there’s never a dull moment in the limelight. Gemini will be immediately drawn to the command Leo has over a social scene, and Leo loves that Gemini keeps everyone on their feet with a witty commentary. Both are masters of communication and expression, and when their powers are combined, they’re an unstoppable force. As lovers, their pairing is more complicated, as Leo tends to be in charge of a situation whether it was their intention or not, and Gemini lives for freedom and hates authority, which means that making decisions and taking the lead is guaranteed to be a problem area. These two might be better in the best friend category where they can be uncompromisable equals, rather than wrestling for control of a relationship.

GEMINI and VIRGO It would be difficult to find a less emotionally compatible match than these two. Virgo brings lots of demands to any relationship, and demands and needs are something that Gemini generally hates. Gemini wants someone to provide them with fun and witty banter to keep things heated, but Virgo sides with seriousness and wants romance to build from meaningful dialogues and deep conversations. Virgo’s issues are translated as fussy, and Gemini’s issues are translated as flighty. Not even the sex is going to be that great, because Virgo wants all love-making to have great emotional meaning, and Gemini doesn’t need all that seriousness in the bedroom. Neither is going to find what they need in the other person unless they try extremely hard to see from the other’s point of view. This will take work, but since both are ruled by Mercury, a successful relationship would be incredibly powerful, though rare.

GEMINI and LIBRA There are gigantic hearts in the eyes of these two when they meet. Libra just wants to talk about art and books, and Gemini falls heads over heels for Libra’s natural balance between nerd and beauty. Libra is always working on a new project, and Gemini is more than happy to come along for the ride. Because both are naturally balanced by dual sides, they bring an extreme amount of harmony to the negotiation of a relationship, as well as the bedroom. There may not be as much passion here, but it’s the kind of partnership that could last forever.

GEMINI and SCORPIO Sexy debates and passionate power plays are what Gemini and Scorpio are all about. Sure, it doesn’t make for a very happy romance, but it does make for one hell of an adventure. Gemini enjoys an intellectual challenge, and Scorpio loves a challenge for the sake of a challenge. Their bed is on fire, but so is the rest of their relationship, and there’s no way that they’re not walking away from this thoroughly burned. It will probably make a tumultuous storyline worthy of the The L Word, but it seems almost cruel to put these two through this much intensity.

GEMINI and SAGITTARIUS Gemini is all about that freedom, but no worries, because so is Sagittarius. Their shared love for adventure and creative change makes them the perfect partners for all kinds of romps, and they’re totally down for exploring new things in mind, spirit, and body. They’re so similar that it’s impossible they wouldn’t be friends, and if romance doesn’t work out, they’re sure to be the bestest friends any adventurer could possibly want. Whether it’s leaping through a mosh pit at a Tegan and Sara concert or shouting to each other about exciting new queer theory, their minds were made for each other.

GEMINI and CAPRICORN As far as chemistry goes, this is yet another moment of opposites attract. Capricorn lives by the tried and true rules that are gonna get them ahead, and is often accused of being a little too square. Gemini just wants to get under their skin and shake them up a little, get them to see outside of the box for a few hours. One night stand? Hot. Actual relationship? Ouch. In their approach to life, they are complete polar opposites, and not even in a sexy way. Gemini believes rules are meant to be broken and re-examined. Capricorn refuses to break rules, and is obsessed with achieving their many intense goals. Gemini thinks goals are social constructions. If these two can make it work, goddess bless them, but it’s going to be an uphill climb from day one.

GEMINI and AQUARIUS Their eyes meet across the crowded room. Gemini is telling a clever joke that keeps everyone laughing, but Aquarius sees the extra level of wordplay beneath the punchline. It’s love at first sight. These two were made to understand each other: Gemini lives in the world of the mind, and Aquarius is all about imagination. Both are social butterflies with a creative streak, and they bring out the absolute best in each other. Gemini draws new and exciting people to them to keep their intellect stimulated, and Aquarius lives off of the energy all these new people bring. It’s the perfect symbiotic relationship in the most non-weird way possible.

GEMINI and PISCES Gemini loves to understand new things, and Pisces intuitively understands their peers. They’re both open-minded and interested in new ways of thinking and living, and when their minds get together, super dreamy Pisces has way too much fun with the elevated brain of Gemini. While there isn’t a lot of spark or chemistry here, there is a quiet understanding of each other that allows them to do just about anything together and be perfectly content. Painting each other’s nails and talking about abstract theory is everything these two want in a bestie.


Jump to Another Sign:

ARIESTAURUSGEMINICANCERLEOVIRGOLIBRASCORPIOSAGITTARIUSCAPRICORNAQUARIUSPISCES


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Full-time writer, part-time lover, freelancing in fancy cheese and cider.

Kate has written 130 articles for us.

264 Comments

  1. SPOT ON, BANG TIDY & SERIOUSLY GENIUS.. Loving your work :o) Feels like this was written with humour, empathy and the perfect balance between providing enough relevant info to be useful without going OTT..
    I’m a Gemini and am enjoying probably the most gorgeous relationship of my life so far with a Taurean lady. On paper it should be a train wreck, but in fact it’s just beautiful. Am just enjoying every day as it comes and not questioning or analysing it. I love astrology and think there’s a lot of helpful insight to be gained from it, equally I’m so happy to be in a relationship that’s an exception to the mystic rule book..

  2. Ha — it’s always been kind of hard to put stock in horoscopes when I’m a leo, and while I can be egotistical, I’m also the shy, socially awkward, anxious type. I still think they’re fun, though.

    • aha, yea same, sometimes i always wonder if im even a leo or if the astrology chart is wrong, because most times when you look up, “intresting facts about leos”, one of them will always say that a leo is super confident, I mean yes I can be very confident and out going, but not necessarily with, love, friends, and other things.But ya know, im a teen and ive never dated a girl before, but i already know i like women, because ya know, ya just know.But uh, yea, i found this pretty helpful. Also i just like commenting lmao.so yeeeee

    • And the Virgo thing is also wrong. Virgos love to fall for me. Every. Last. One. Critical thinkers who explore the world and learn together, maybe write, draw, and dance a bit, that’s what Aries and Virgos do.

  3. Anassa Kata!! Greetings from Israel. I just joined autostraddle. I am known as OldLadyKlainer on tumblr. I graduated from BMC in ’75
    with a major in Hist.of Religion. I have 3 grown children: my ‘baby’
    is a combat soldier in the IDF and a TaeKwonDo champion. My older daughter lives in NYC and is LGBT. She goes to college. I am a Sagittarius who may be a ‘late in life’ LGBT woman (like Meredith
    Baxter). I am a retired chef and English teacher; currently I do clothing alterations at home. I crochet, knit, quilt, cook and read
    ferociously. I look forward to reading your columns in the future.
    So nice to meet you. mamahufflepuff

  4. I’ve always loved astrology so this was fun to read :p I’m a Capricorn and my girlfriend is a Gemini and we’re more similar to each other than to anyone else. Been dating almost a year and have yet to really argue. I totally agree with my description, but I guess she’s a rare seed with hers because I think she should really be a Taurus xD Super fun article :3

  5. OHMYGOD you guys. Try looking at these with you & your partner’s Venus signs. Taken in combination with your sun signs, you may find that the parts you disagree with are right on the money with the Venus signs.

    I’m a Sagittarius sun and Scorpio Venus. My girlfriends are Capricorn/Capricorn and Aquarius/Pisces. My newest interest is a Taurus/Gemini, and while I would never make a relationship decision based exclusively on someone’s astrological indications, there’s nothing wrong with noticing patterns. My best friends, my lovers that were great, and the ones that weren’t, and the people I can’t stand – mostly fit the pattern (with a few outliers).

  6. yeah. i’m used to Cancer assessments being deadddd wrong for me. sucks because i’m super into astrology/metaphysical stuff!

    i’m basically the exact opposite of needy and/or emotional in relationships. i’ve almost exclusively been in friends-with-benefits situations (with one possible exception, and that ended BECAUSE i wasn’t aware that we were “official” until they brought it up casually & i bolted), and i don’t have plans to change that in future.

    the potential of commitment by either me or the other party freaks me out, i don’t like monogamy, i never get emotionally invested or have butterflies / general mushy feelings, & i’m all-around aromantic… how far from Cancer can you get?!

    but i still like to cuddle!

    the Aquarius description isn’t far off, which is interesting since that’s my moon sign. maybe that’s my dominant personality since Cancers are ruled by the moon! see, i want it to work!

  7. So I thought “this is a fun article” and I pop over to the Scorpio page and start reading through and everything hits the mark except for one really clashing part… the bit where I’m meant to be introverted.

    And then I see the apparent reaction between Scorpio and Leo and I’m thinking, “this Leo sounds more like me”.

    So I go over to the Leo page and read the first bit and everything agrees with me… but then it doesn’t mention some of the things that really clicked on the Scorpio page. The only way I can figure it is that personality-wise I must be some kind of mad combination of the two. It is true that I need my personal space but I also crave so much my very active social life and have past experience of being absolutely miserable without it.

    The horoscope here indicates the combination of personality types as a tempestuous ‘one to avoid’ between two people. Somehow combined within one person, I can only give a sardonic recognition giggle and come to the same conclusion. Lol.

    My gorgeous Pisces girlfriend of 2-years-and-counting however indeed seems a perfect fit for either, and is absolutely a perfect fit for me! :) <3

  8. Just the other day I was lamenting that all the astrology sites catered to heterosexuals, whereas I’m a dorky homo who realizes how silly it is to look at her horoscope for relationship advice but does it anyway. Thanks for not making me stoop so low as to take advice aimed at straight men.

  9. OK so as a Scorpio sun and rising I believe that I totally relate to my sign in every aspect, but I do not fit with the zodiac match ups. I am generally attracted to Aries, Aquarius and Leo and not at all Gemini, Virgo or cancer. So I checked out my moon and I’m a cancer of which I don’t think I relate to at all . Anyway awesome post , thuroughly enjoyed reading through !

  10. Ok, I totally agree with this on a surface level. Strictly going by sun signs. And yet, as a scorpio who is in a serious long term relationship with a leo, and totally head over heals in love with her I might add, I have to remind the masses that there’s more to astrology than sun signs. Your whole chart should be taken into consideration. My partner and I have more in common under the surface than our sun signs would have you believe. Thus, I would caution anyone who takes astrology to heart to dig deeper into a person’s chart rather than writing them off because of first glances at their birthdate. To be fair both times I’ve dated an Aries it was a total train wreck. The trains collided, exploded into flames, and then they re-materialized and did it a few more times just to emphasize how wrong I was in thinking that could have ever worked.

  11. Hi I am Harper,a Libra and 18 in a wonderful relationship with my 19 year old Aries friend Anrina. This post is true in some cases but honestly, both of us love being with each other and all. She is bossy and rude sometimes (ok, most of the times) and I am always arguing.We met when I was 13 in school. She is amazing and the “opposites attract mantra” still works. There’s rarely any frustrated tears and all. Infact she’s right beside me now laughing…

  12. I wonder if instead of using sun signs it makes more sense to focus on Venus, cause that’s the planet of love and sex? I find that my Venus in Scorpio is so more important in my own chart regrading relationships, whereas my Sun (ego) in Libra is more applicable to my work and other projects.

  13. I’m dating a Capricorn and I’m a Gemini. So far, it has been a communication challenge because us Gems are more mental, so we seek that stimulation and communication is key. My Cap seems to appreciate life at this point in life so we enjoy each others presence as Gems like to be child-like at times. We’ve had a disagreement so far which me being a Gem, I pushed away automatically. She was able to calm me and help me look through the situation. Gems need that because we will push away if we don’t feel loved or appreciated enough. She stays on me as far as task, and I stay on her as far as goals and making sure she holds up to what she says she will do.

  14. I’m a Pisces woman dating a Gemini woman and we’ve had a very magnetic relationship in the beginning had some ups and downs since then and we’ve managed to smooth out all of the rough spots simply by communicating with each other. I don’t smother her with too much affection and she’s not too detached to where I don’t feel the love like most Pisces-Gemini relationships. We also put in a lot of effort and compromise into making our relationship work which is most important aspect aside from communication. Any sun sign combo can work with these two things.

  15. Taurus here!

    Been with my Scorpio girlfriend for almost five years now and we’ve never been happier or more in love!
    What you said about our pairing is pretty damn spot on, too!

  16. Good read. Compatibility differs when it comes to friendship, sex and relationship. Over the years, I’ve compiled my own empirical truths on who gives the best bang for the buck, who one can hang around with and who should be your life partner. Some are spot on in your analysis here but if one is truly honest and have had lived expansively, one will agree that to each his own and that everyone is very different. Upbringing and life experiences matters a lot and can change one’s horoscopic stereotypes externally. However, truth be told, every sign retains ONE of their true CORE essence internally. It’s up to you or your partner to discover which one defines either one.

    I’m a Piscean with Sagi rising and brought up in a very challenging warrior lifestyle. I’m supposed to get along well with Cancerians and Scorpions but I pretty much loathe them for all the right and wrong reasons. I’m way too aggressive and honest frank for them to find comfort and solace and I never back down or lose from a fight I’m cornered into. I’ve told my closest friends and family-I never fight 99.9% of the time, but if I’m forced to, I won’t fight, I will make sure I KILL you! That is why I genuinely fear my own darkness :) Some may recoil at this revelation but the root is that if that loser is unlucky to unleash my pandora’s box of pent up abuse over my lifetime, he/she earned it-no regrets! Otherwise, boringly, I’m compassionate, protective, extremely old fashioned loyal, but will not tolerate nor sympathises with hypocrites, traitors and deliberate losers. Sex wise, I consistently find a few tried and tested signs that can seriously quench my hunger for immense satisfying pleasures; and some, I would never ever touch with a mile long pole even if they looked like a Greek god-dess! Good attitude is key. Sexiness with mutual respect is seductive and addictive. Surprisingly, when I shared some of these observations, many concurred, which could mean some signs are universally sh*t, and some are must grab! LOL.

    Using horoscopes to filter hookups-frens-partners may limit the sampling size, but I rather be sane, grounded, harmonious and alive than dragging closeted mental case residuals and debris along. Yes indeed there are exceptions to the rule in anything but sadly, way too far and in between for me to take the chance again and again. Trust your own instincts when connecting with someone new or those who have yet to earn your trust. Observe, take notes, remember common patterns and always ask for their star signs. They may find you “strange or creepy” but turn it around and entice them into submitting by disclosing that you know which signs are always a great lay and which are jerks. Trust me, they will be enamoured to know for themselves. Everyone’s a narcissist deep down. It’s then up to u to dispense wisdom while you choose how to sample them, ala carte.
    The library’s open. Good Reading y’all !!

  17. Pisces & Taurus – when there are other balanced Astro makeups in the charts…WOW is it such an out of this world match.

    Holy crap sensual excellence!!! Less talk more action. So good.
    Very few times do “arguments” happen and then they do, there is always a realization that we’re going somewhere and elevating the relationship to a new level.
    But DANG is the physical part good. So good.
    Spiritual and physical bliss. When it’s right it is very right. A Taurus with some water in their chart is a good choice.

  18. I feel so seen.
    In reference to believing, rejecting, or just thinking astrology is fun, has it occurred to anyone else that astrology and tarot are kind of a language of trauma and trauma recovery? Both can kind of be a religion for folks cast out by a bigoted church. They can both provide a grounded sense of what to see as a pattern in yourself if development of one was disrupted by childhood trauma or if disassociation makes it hard to love all of your parts. Both offer insight- a salve to the tired minds of folks inclined to overthink everything. Compatibility ‘scopes can make it feel more predictable and thus safe to try again at a relationship for someone who has experienced a traumatizing relationship.
    And like guess who is most likely to experience hate violence, sexual assault, bullying, poverty? And that’s without breaking it down by sex or gender identity or race or immigration status or age or where you live.
    Like, I have could list out so many examples to support my thought and then network the shit out of supportive treatment options, non-profits, city council hopefuls, legislative protections until I die if I just date a Virgo or ask them and an Aquarius to help me run for office lol

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