Your Completely Queer Guide To Horoscope Hookups

aquarius_300x300AQUARIUS (January 20 – February 18) Aquarius is the humanitarian whose need to improve the lives of others makes ladies swoon like nothing else. Because you’re a natural intellectual with new ideas, you’re creative in life and love, and imagination is key to the way you exist. You carry that imagination to the bedroom, where you thrive on keeping it unexpected. It’s important that you get to do your own thing in life, and while that means you’re always looking for independence in your relationships, it doesn’t mean you’re not a big cuddler when prompted. Because of your humanitarian streak, you might be guilty of trying to be the caretaker and life-improver in the relationship. You’re a sucker for a bleeding heart and a crooked smile, so make sure you hitch yourself to as big a love as you give.

U-Haul Material – Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra

Explosive Fingerblasting Chemistry – Virgo, Sagittarius

Beware of Trainwreck – Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio

Best Lesbros Forever – Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces

AQUARIUS and ARIES These lovebirds will try anything once, when in the bedroom. The sex is fun because Aries loves an exciting challenge and Aquarius just wants to see Aries get weird in the sack. They’re both independent, but Aries’ intensity works well with Aquarius’ free-spirited side. Trust them to do wild things together, with Aquarius bringing their quirky creativity to Aries’ daredevil recklessness. It’s rare to see any level of dependency or neediness in this relationship, but when there’s drama, hoo boy is there drama. One of those rare combinations where this could be fantastic for hooking up, or fantastic for the long run.

AQUARIUS and TAURUS This will seem like a great drunken idea, but the morning reveals more than a hangover: Flighty Aquarius is no easy match for down to earth Taurus. Aquarius, always thinking outside the box and craving new things, will find Taurus “boring,” even if Taurus is just looking to get comfortable. And it’ll be hard to get comfortable with Aquarius, who locks away Taurus’ heart and then forgets the combination, in typical Aquarian style. Taurus sees romance in everything, though, even in Aquarius’ complex way of seeing the world and their tendency to want to explore everything from a different angle. Maybe those angles are worth exploring for a night, but this is not a walk in the park when attempted as a relationship.

AQUARIUS and GEMINI Their eyes meet across the crowded room. Gemini is telling a clever joke that keeps everyone laughing, but Aquarius sees the extra level of wordplay beneath the punchline. It’s love at first sight. These two were made to understand each other: Gemini lives in the world of the mind, and Aquarius is all about imagination. Both are social butterflies with a creative streak, and they bring out the absolute best in each other. Gemini draws new and exciting people to them to keep their intellect stimulated, and Aquarius lives off of the energy all these new people bring. It’s the perfect symbiotic relationship in the most non-weird way possible.

AQUARIUS and CANCER Opposites attract? Sort of. Aquarius wants to hit the club and douse themselves in glow paint, Cancer wants to stay in and hate-watch The Real L Word. Cancer feels their way through decisions and relies on emotions to guide them, Aquarius goes the experimental route. It’s rare that these two will find something they agree on, but that’s not to say there isn’t something sparking there regardless. Water and air make for an interesting combination, especially in the bedroom. Aquarius flits from one bed to the next without a lot of issues, but sex with Cancer is an emotional affair that’s expected to lead somewhere homey. There might be something to learn from the encounter, but it’ll take a lot of work to make it something more.

AQUARIUS and LEO This is a super duper power couple. There is literally nothing these two can’t accomplish together. Don’t be surprised if they take over the world, or at the very least become celesbians. Both are idealists with goals that drive them – Aquarius has big humanitarian dreams and Leo the leader can make them happen. The melding of their traits put all of these dreams into action, and for two idealists, no project is too lofty. Aquarius sees the tender sides of Leo and is more than happy to soothe them, while Leo is smitten with Aquarius’ creativity, something they highly value in a partner. They are each other’s muses, and these are a pair of queers to watch.

AQUARIUS and VIRGO They’re going to drive each other crazy, either the good crazy or the bad crazy, but it’ll definitely translate to something sexy. Aquarius represents everything that drives Virgo up the wall. Virgo likes plans and down to earth goals, Aquarius likes experimenting and isn’t the best at follow-through. Aquarius wants to keep it fresh and new, Virgo loves a comfortable routine. They might irritate each other’s tender parts, but they might just have the best parts for scratching those particular itches. At some point, their frustration with their opposite status will probably lead to explosive sexual culmination, as Aquarius just wants to get Virgo to shake it up a little, and Virgo’s tight-assed lifestyle sometimes yearns for a little danger they’ll never own up to later. Just beware folks, because when these two queers go for it, they are definitely going to explode.

AQUARIUS and LIBRA Libra loves the finer things in life, and Aquarius is like a beautiful work of art they just can’t resist. Libra can’t help but fall hard for Aquarius’ creative streak, and Aquarius’ passion for improving the world means they share important values with fair and justice-minded Libra. Whether they’re organizing a rally or updating their social justice tumblr, these two have a perfect harmony that makes them an unstoppable force when it comes to bringing about positive change. In the bedroom, they’re bringing new meaning to activism, and keeping things energetic and exciting. It’s a lovely relationship for these two, and for the rest of the world.

AQUARIUS and SCORPIO Scorpio and Aquarius are not exactly two peas in a pod. They are maybe one pea in a pod while the other is underground and a carrot. Aquarius loves socializing and discovering new things. Introverted Scorpio is not one for crowds and doesn’t understand any of the things Aquarius builds their world around. The opposition between them might inspire some passion from Scorpio, whose seductive side enjoys a challenge, but it will be a hard scenario to keep going when it comes to everyday decisions and negotiating conflict. Both are not great at cooperating, and both have strong feelings about their stances, which means that compromise is not a word often heard in this pairing.

AQUARIUS and SAGITTARIUS Sagittarius is swoonin’ hard for Aquarius’ creative flair, and Aquarius loves a heartthrob who likes to wax poetic about philosophy, especially post-coital. There’s a ton of chemistry here because Sag’s fire is fueled by Aquarius’ air, and there’s no limit to the sexy stuff they can accomplish when their genius gets together. They’re both loyal and loving, but they believe in the freedom to do as they please, an independence they’ll allow for each other given they’re back by bedtime. This is actually a great set-up for something non-monogamous because both have pretty liberal needs for space and aren’t prone to feeling possessive of their partners.

AQUARIUS and CAPRICORN These two have very different lifestyles, but somehow they still manage to bring out some of the best things about each other. Aquarius loves to idealize and Capricorn loves to rationalize, which means when they can take the time to solve a problem together, they balance each other nicely. This can mean either a sexy balance or a very friendly balance, but both are going to remain true to each other. Their loyalty is unfailing. Both are stubborn and fixed in their values, and when those values align, they’ll become very powerful allies. Aquarius sees that Capricorn’s goal-oriented way of getting things done is very similar to their need to make projects out of everyone, and they can help each other a great deal if they take the time to listen.

AQUARIUS and AQUARIUS A pair of Aquarians could save the world, and they probably will. Their super intellect makes them a dream team when it comes to tackling issues, and their humanitarian minds are immediately at work trying to right the next wrong. As far as emotions go, they’re better when they’re working with each other than when they’re in a position of actively caring for each other. Aquarius tends to need a different kind of energy to pin their Air down, and a double dosage of the Aquarian spirit means a lot of outward energy, but not a lot coming back to feed the relationship itself. As friends, they’re unstoppable, but as lovers, they might sometimes forget they have a commitment to take care of each other.

AQUARIUS and PISCES These minds are much more similar than they think, and they’re immediately drawn to each other. Aquarius loves Pisces’ idealistic nature, which perfectly complements their creative side. Pisces can’t see anything about Aquarius they don’t like, and it shows. The two are innately bonded, and whatever love grows between them, whether it’s based in friendship or romance, is true as ever. Aquarius loves to create new things, and Pisces loves to observe them and aid as much as they can. Pisces is the emotional heart to Aquarius’ intellectual flair, and it allows them to be each other’s muses in many ways, with both inspiring a new level of understanding. This is a very spiritual friendship with intense results.


Jump to Another Sign:

ARIESTAURUSGEMINICANCERLEOVIRGOLIBRASCORPIOSAGITTARIUSCAPRICORNAQUARIUSPISCES


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Full-time writer, part-time lover, freelancing in fancy cheese and cider.

Kate has written 130 articles for us.

264 Comments

  1. SPOT ON, BANG TIDY & SERIOUSLY GENIUS.. Loving your work :o) Feels like this was written with humour, empathy and the perfect balance between providing enough relevant info to be useful without going OTT..
    I’m a Gemini and am enjoying probably the most gorgeous relationship of my life so far with a Taurean lady. On paper it should be a train wreck, but in fact it’s just beautiful. Am just enjoying every day as it comes and not questioning or analysing it. I love astrology and think there’s a lot of helpful insight to be gained from it, equally I’m so happy to be in a relationship that’s an exception to the mystic rule book..

  2. Ha — it’s always been kind of hard to put stock in horoscopes when I’m a leo, and while I can be egotistical, I’m also the shy, socially awkward, anxious type. I still think they’re fun, though.

    • aha, yea same, sometimes i always wonder if im even a leo or if the astrology chart is wrong, because most times when you look up, “intresting facts about leos”, one of them will always say that a leo is super confident, I mean yes I can be very confident and out going, but not necessarily with, love, friends, and other things.But ya know, im a teen and ive never dated a girl before, but i already know i like women, because ya know, ya just know.But uh, yea, i found this pretty helpful. Also i just like commenting lmao.so yeeeee

    • And the Virgo thing is also wrong. Virgos love to fall for me. Every. Last. One. Critical thinkers who explore the world and learn together, maybe write, draw, and dance a bit, that’s what Aries and Virgos do.

  3. Anassa Kata!! Greetings from Israel. I just joined autostraddle. I am known as OldLadyKlainer on tumblr. I graduated from BMC in ’75
    with a major in Hist.of Religion. I have 3 grown children: my ‘baby’
    is a combat soldier in the IDF and a TaeKwonDo champion. My older daughter lives in NYC and is LGBT. She goes to college. I am a Sagittarius who may be a ‘late in life’ LGBT woman (like Meredith
    Baxter). I am a retired chef and English teacher; currently I do clothing alterations at home. I crochet, knit, quilt, cook and read
    ferociously. I look forward to reading your columns in the future.
    So nice to meet you. mamahufflepuff

  4. I’ve always loved astrology so this was fun to read :p I’m a Capricorn and my girlfriend is a Gemini and we’re more similar to each other than to anyone else. Been dating almost a year and have yet to really argue. I totally agree with my description, but I guess she’s a rare seed with hers because I think she should really be a Taurus xD Super fun article :3

  5. OHMYGOD you guys. Try looking at these with you & your partner’s Venus signs. Taken in combination with your sun signs, you may find that the parts you disagree with are right on the money with the Venus signs.

    I’m a Sagittarius sun and Scorpio Venus. My girlfriends are Capricorn/Capricorn and Aquarius/Pisces. My newest interest is a Taurus/Gemini, and while I would never make a relationship decision based exclusively on someone’s astrological indications, there’s nothing wrong with noticing patterns. My best friends, my lovers that were great, and the ones that weren’t, and the people I can’t stand – mostly fit the pattern (with a few outliers).

  6. yeah. i’m used to Cancer assessments being deadddd wrong for me. sucks because i’m super into astrology/metaphysical stuff!

    i’m basically the exact opposite of needy and/or emotional in relationships. i’ve almost exclusively been in friends-with-benefits situations (with one possible exception, and that ended BECAUSE i wasn’t aware that we were “official” until they brought it up casually & i bolted), and i don’t have plans to change that in future.

    the potential of commitment by either me or the other party freaks me out, i don’t like monogamy, i never get emotionally invested or have butterflies / general mushy feelings, & i’m all-around aromantic… how far from Cancer can you get?!

    but i still like to cuddle!

    the Aquarius description isn’t far off, which is interesting since that’s my moon sign. maybe that’s my dominant personality since Cancers are ruled by the moon! see, i want it to work!

  7. So I thought “this is a fun article” and I pop over to the Scorpio page and start reading through and everything hits the mark except for one really clashing part… the bit where I’m meant to be introverted.

    And then I see the apparent reaction between Scorpio and Leo and I’m thinking, “this Leo sounds more like me”.

    So I go over to the Leo page and read the first bit and everything agrees with me… but then it doesn’t mention some of the things that really clicked on the Scorpio page. The only way I can figure it is that personality-wise I must be some kind of mad combination of the two. It is true that I need my personal space but I also crave so much my very active social life and have past experience of being absolutely miserable without it.

    The horoscope here indicates the combination of personality types as a tempestuous ‘one to avoid’ between two people. Somehow combined within one person, I can only give a sardonic recognition giggle and come to the same conclusion. Lol.

    My gorgeous Pisces girlfriend of 2-years-and-counting however indeed seems a perfect fit for either, and is absolutely a perfect fit for me! :) <3

  8. Just the other day I was lamenting that all the astrology sites catered to heterosexuals, whereas I’m a dorky homo who realizes how silly it is to look at her horoscope for relationship advice but does it anyway. Thanks for not making me stoop so low as to take advice aimed at straight men.

  9. OK so as a Scorpio sun and rising I believe that I totally relate to my sign in every aspect, but I do not fit with the zodiac match ups. I am generally attracted to Aries, Aquarius and Leo and not at all Gemini, Virgo or cancer. So I checked out my moon and I’m a cancer of which I don’t think I relate to at all . Anyway awesome post , thuroughly enjoyed reading through !

  10. Ok, I totally agree with this on a surface level. Strictly going by sun signs. And yet, as a scorpio who is in a serious long term relationship with a leo, and totally head over heals in love with her I might add, I have to remind the masses that there’s more to astrology than sun signs. Your whole chart should be taken into consideration. My partner and I have more in common under the surface than our sun signs would have you believe. Thus, I would caution anyone who takes astrology to heart to dig deeper into a person’s chart rather than writing them off because of first glances at their birthdate. To be fair both times I’ve dated an Aries it was a total train wreck. The trains collided, exploded into flames, and then they re-materialized and did it a few more times just to emphasize how wrong I was in thinking that could have ever worked.

  11. Hi I am Harper,a Libra and 18 in a wonderful relationship with my 19 year old Aries friend Anrina. This post is true in some cases but honestly, both of us love being with each other and all. She is bossy and rude sometimes (ok, most of the times) and I am always arguing.We met when I was 13 in school. She is amazing and the “opposites attract mantra” still works. There’s rarely any frustrated tears and all. Infact she’s right beside me now laughing…

  12. I wonder if instead of using sun signs it makes more sense to focus on Venus, cause that’s the planet of love and sex? I find that my Venus in Scorpio is so more important in my own chart regrading relationships, whereas my Sun (ego) in Libra is more applicable to my work and other projects.

  13. I’m dating a Capricorn and I’m a Gemini. So far, it has been a communication challenge because us Gems are more mental, so we seek that stimulation and communication is key. My Cap seems to appreciate life at this point in life so we enjoy each others presence as Gems like to be child-like at times. We’ve had a disagreement so far which me being a Gem, I pushed away automatically. She was able to calm me and help me look through the situation. Gems need that because we will push away if we don’t feel loved or appreciated enough. She stays on me as far as task, and I stay on her as far as goals and making sure she holds up to what she says she will do.

  14. I’m a Pisces woman dating a Gemini woman and we’ve had a very magnetic relationship in the beginning had some ups and downs since then and we’ve managed to smooth out all of the rough spots simply by communicating with each other. I don’t smother her with too much affection and she’s not too detached to where I don’t feel the love like most Pisces-Gemini relationships. We also put in a lot of effort and compromise into making our relationship work which is most important aspect aside from communication. Any sun sign combo can work with these two things.

  15. Taurus here!

    Been with my Scorpio girlfriend for almost five years now and we’ve never been happier or more in love!
    What you said about our pairing is pretty damn spot on, too!

  16. Good read. Compatibility differs when it comes to friendship, sex and relationship. Over the years, I’ve compiled my own empirical truths on who gives the best bang for the buck, who one can hang around with and who should be your life partner. Some are spot on in your analysis here but if one is truly honest and have had lived expansively, one will agree that to each his own and that everyone is very different. Upbringing and life experiences matters a lot and can change one’s horoscopic stereotypes externally. However, truth be told, every sign retains ONE of their true CORE essence internally. It’s up to you or your partner to discover which one defines either one.

    I’m a Piscean with Sagi rising and brought up in a very challenging warrior lifestyle. I’m supposed to get along well with Cancerians and Scorpions but I pretty much loathe them for all the right and wrong reasons. I’m way too aggressive and honest frank for them to find comfort and solace and I never back down or lose from a fight I’m cornered into. I’ve told my closest friends and family-I never fight 99.9% of the time, but if I’m forced to, I won’t fight, I will make sure I KILL you! That is why I genuinely fear my own darkness :) Some may recoil at this revelation but the root is that if that loser is unlucky to unleash my pandora’s box of pent up abuse over my lifetime, he/she earned it-no regrets! Otherwise, boringly, I’m compassionate, protective, extremely old fashioned loyal, but will not tolerate nor sympathises with hypocrites, traitors and deliberate losers. Sex wise, I consistently find a few tried and tested signs that can seriously quench my hunger for immense satisfying pleasures; and some, I would never ever touch with a mile long pole even if they looked like a Greek god-dess! Good attitude is key. Sexiness with mutual respect is seductive and addictive. Surprisingly, when I shared some of these observations, many concurred, which could mean some signs are universally sh*t, and some are must grab! LOL.

    Using horoscopes to filter hookups-frens-partners may limit the sampling size, but I rather be sane, grounded, harmonious and alive than dragging closeted mental case residuals and debris along. Yes indeed there are exceptions to the rule in anything but sadly, way too far and in between for me to take the chance again and again. Trust your own instincts when connecting with someone new or those who have yet to earn your trust. Observe, take notes, remember common patterns and always ask for their star signs. They may find you “strange or creepy” but turn it around and entice them into submitting by disclosing that you know which signs are always a great lay and which are jerks. Trust me, they will be enamoured to know for themselves. Everyone’s a narcissist deep down. It’s then up to u to dispense wisdom while you choose how to sample them, ala carte.
    The library’s open. Good Reading y’all !!

  17. Pisces & Taurus – when there are other balanced Astro makeups in the charts…WOW is it such an out of this world match.

    Holy crap sensual excellence!!! Less talk more action. So good.
    Very few times do “arguments” happen and then they do, there is always a realization that we’re going somewhere and elevating the relationship to a new level.
    But DANG is the physical part good. So good.
    Spiritual and physical bliss. When it’s right it is very right. A Taurus with some water in their chart is a good choice.

  18. I feel so seen.
    In reference to believing, rejecting, or just thinking astrology is fun, has it occurred to anyone else that astrology and tarot are kind of a language of trauma and trauma recovery? Both can kind of be a religion for folks cast out by a bigoted church. They can both provide a grounded sense of what to see as a pattern in yourself if development of one was disrupted by childhood trauma or if disassociation makes it hard to love all of your parts. Both offer insight- a salve to the tired minds of folks inclined to overthink everything. Compatibility ‘scopes can make it feel more predictable and thus safe to try again at a relationship for someone who has experienced a traumatizing relationship.
    And like guess who is most likely to experience hate violence, sexual assault, bullying, poverty? And that’s without breaking it down by sex or gender identity or race or immigration status or age or where you live.
    Like, I have could list out so many examples to support my thought and then network the shit out of supportive treatment options, non-profits, city council hopefuls, legislative protections until I die if I just date a Virgo or ask them and an Aquarius to help me run for office lol

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