The Comment Awards Are Manspreading


Happy Friday, kittens! I’m joining a kickball team, and I’m terrified. Who’s got kickball tips for me?

This week, Kayla celebrated onions, and YouTube’s new restricted mode pissed Kristin off.

Here’s what Carrie wishes she’d learned in Sex Ed.

Over at the HRC, Katy Perry won an award, I guess.

Siobhan introduced us to the Morrigan, while Alyssa worked on achieving attainable goals. Like pants.

Laura would rather be on Europa. Take me with you!

Heather covered the “long, slow evolution” of gay Disney characters.

Erin asked what we’ve all been wondering.

And then there were your comments!

On What I Wish I’d Learned in Sex Ed:

The Hair Today, Pregnant Tomorrow Award to Ace:

I went to middle school at a southern baptist private school in Texas. Our health books had literally nothing about sex, but there was a unit about which haircuts would make you look thinner. (Yes, really.)

On 40 Recipes Celebrating Onion Diversity:

The Iranian Breadstick Award to Al:

Thank you for these appealing recipes. If you are ever at an Iranian restaurant, they usually bring out bread, butter/margarine and raw cut onions before the meal. Italians have breadsticks we have onions.

On NEW MERCH ALERT: Lavender Menace & Soft Butch Tees:

The Mary & Me Award to Mary:

Mary: Marry me! Erin: K

On Katy Perry Wins Yet Another Gay Allyship Award, Admits She More-Than-Kissed A Girl, Only Kinda Liked It:

The Low Bar Award to Nani Albornoz:

Straight celebrity: I’m okay with gay people! Media: BRILLIANT, AMAZING, GENEROUS, GROUNDBREAKING

On The “Supergirl” Musical Crossover Cemented Its White Bread Mon-El Problem:

The Jonathan Levinson Lifetime Achievement Award to dufrau:

"This fucking guy. This entire season feels like that Buffy episode where Jonathan was the star."

On No Filter: Annie Clark As The Ghost Of Easter Past:

The ‘Call Me Carmen, Mrs. SanDiego Is My Mother’ Award to Carmen SanDiego:

My mom used to take me to the beach in a bathing suit just like Danielle Brooks’ You go, Mrs SanDiego senior! Being a trendsetter!

On The Fosters Episode 417 Recap: Remember The Rain:

The Fabric of Our Lives Award to Linnea:

All Seasons Callie

On Top Five Places I’d Rather Be Right Now:

The Butt Club Award to Lex:

The rings of Uranus. Because my internal 6th grader will never die.

On “Beauty and the Beast”: Disney’s Long, Slow Evolution From Gay-Coded Villains to Live-Action LeFou:

The Crone Like Me Award to a/s:

"lady villains like maleficent and ursula are definitely gay too. they try to fuck with ill-conceived het romances, they have the most intoxicating voices, and they’re smart enough not to throw their lives away on a dull af prince they’ve never even talked to. they harness their bitter outcast status to wreak havoc on the state, and that’s something i still aspire to after all these years."

And on Are Straight Women Okay?

The Good Bacteria Award to TMECE:

"It’s poop’s world and we’re just living in it. *shrugs*"

The Ugly Mug Award to Faustine:

"Effin’ manspreading mug!"

The Husbands and Wives Award to Chandra:

"88 Great Conversation Starters for Husbands & Wives: 1. What if this is all an illusion created by the white supremacist capitalist cisheteropatriarchy in order to keep us mindlessly preoccupied with our social roles and status while they systematically dismantle the rights and freedoms of marginalized peoples? 2. I want a divorce."

The Bestseller Award to thatottergirl:

Yeah this is why I balance my crushes on boys with writing “But like, what IS heterosexuality?

The SVU (Sally Victims Unit) Award to, well, Sally:

Erin: "raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by sally" / Sally: "I just raised my own hand"

See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

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Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.


    • HAHA thanks, that means a lot coming from you! I come from several generations of punsters, so I am glad the years of training paid off :)

      • Otter, are you also Otter on tumblr/AO3? If so, I have read (and loved) a crap ton of your fic. (If not, never mind about the fic, and “life of bi” was freaking genius.)

        • No unfortunately, that’s not me–sounds like my Otter siblings are up to great things, though! Regardless, thanks for the pun appreciation :)
          (P.S. am I too many smiley faces? This whole post legit made me smile all morning)

  1. I feel like the entire comments section on that Single Women article deserves one giant, sparkling comment award. I wasted half my day refreshing the page and laughing yesterday. Honoured to have made the cut!

  2. OMG, you made this gals days, I wasn’t expecting a comment award for that. From the bottom of my queer trans heart thank you!

  3. I personally was a fan of this exchange. (Let’s see if I can get it on the first try this time.)

  4. thanks queer girl! Now if I can only figure out where “All Seasons Callie” flannels are sold

  5. Kickball advice. if you can kick a wrench you can kick a ball…no that’s not quite right.
    Kickball, keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars…nope not that one either.
    How about just keep the ball on the ground and run fast.

  6. A MAJOR AWARD! Thank you, QG! I shall treasure it forever and ever.

    PS: In my 8th grade health book, the answer to “which haircut will make you look thinner” was always Giant Texas Hair.

  7. Everyone was so inspired this week. Autostraddle is by far the best comment section. I love this community.

  8. this is the purest comment section of any post i’ve seen in so long you all are the true mvps thank you

  9. now i have “friend like me” stuck in my head but friend is replaced with crone. i wish there was a scene of ursula singing this!

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