While Sarah seems extremely comfortable roughing it up and peeing in the woods, Felix equates camping with being homeless in the country. Obviously he’s never been to A-Camp.

This week on “Faking It,” everybody finds out about the threesome and Amy and Karma break up and everybody gets real sad about it.

This week on Glee, everybody graduated and old loves blossomed anew!

This week on Glee, “Funny Girl” opened and Santana came back!

Yes, I am going to fill this recap with as many monkey puns as possible. No, there is nothing you can do to stop me.

This week on “Faking It,” everybody gets ready for a three-way!

I wish there was a way to get more Penelope Garcia, H.G. Wells and Olivia Benson into my life with less murder, like if they were all on the same hour-long HBO drama? Just saying.

Because of how upset and exhausted I assume y’all must be, I’ve made sure this recap is chock full of inappropriate captions and semi-offensive image editing and even drinking games you can play the next time you feel up to the challenge. Here is your veritable stuffed French toast of a recap, so go ahead and dig in.

Turns out that when you create the first ever show with a cast of almost all queer women, and do it on a cable channel that allows multiple scenes of what just barely misses qualifying as porn in every episode, we gays get resourceful.

While everyone else was feeling emotions Ari and Ashley were just hangin’ out doin’ them. Lesbians have this break-up thing down to a science, after all.

Because you’ve always wanted to hear Jon Gosselin say the words “I’m not masturbating.”

Felix says they need an idea to trap Donnie, and Alison tells him what every college student already knows: drinking leads to ideas.

Remember all the hope I had for Brandon? My hope is Humpty Dumpty and all the kings horses and all the kings lesbians will never put my hope for this character back together again.

“Laneia, that was our first official interaction in the world — you seeing a link to my blog on The Planet Boards and wanting to delete it.”

This week on the show that no one besides me and Stef are talking about, it must be lunchtime at this shoddily constructed preschool of a mansion, because everyone’s throwing tantrums and Farrah’s fibbing to the class. James Deen was not your boyfriend, sweetheart.

Recently, GO Magazine published an interview with Romi Klinger of The Real L Word regarding the current state of her relationships, her career, and the controversy surrounding her sexuality. What does one complicated public figure representing bisexuality mean for the rest of us?

“I was angry. Really fucking angry. Angry because Jenny Schecter was right.”

“Tom and I in Amsterdam, cuz yeah… that’d be dangerous and hilarous. Or Jamie and I in Seoul, Korean food #FTW. Lastly Jenny and I in Brazil, for the beautiful women.”

A show about “celebrities” with “relationship problems” being solved by a “professional” team of therapists. Quotation marks intentional.

“Seriously, why the fuck is Ashley on this show?”