It’s true, we promise, you just have to trust us.

Rachel, Aja, Kaitlyn, Carmen, and Geneva whipped up some totally kick-ass sauces, drinks, appetizers, and entrees for you that are best enjoyed on picnic benches and on paper plates next to a crackling set of coals.

Ever been punched in a tit before? That crushing pain in your areola and the dense tissue of the breast? Brutal. I’ll take dental surgery over titty punches any day.

Plus: Miley Cyrus puffy painted Caitlyn Jenner for charity, Lady Gaga and Linda Perry tag-teamed on “What’s Up,” Laverne Cox and Lily Tomlin’s “Grandma” gets its first trailer, the USWNT is headed to the World Cup quarters, and so much more information!

Lena and Stef keep secrets from each other, and it is not good. Worse, though, is Jude and/or Connor gets shot!

Laverne Cox talks about trans* representation in media, relating to her character and what it’s like being a trans* actress in tv.

This episode’s theme is “people are mad at Piper and we don’t really blame them that much” and I know y’all agree.

Emily Heller, Jasika Nicole, Lauren Morelli, and many other dope people picked the favorite thing they tweeted this year and told us why they like it so dang much.

I hope your terrible facial hair overtakes your face and you choke on it.

The pAtriArchy is A, just as we suspected.

It’s been a great year for hard-hitting investigative journalism.

Crack is wack.

Rita Volk is having some feelings about bisexuality while Kimiko Glenn from OITNB parties with Marcel the Shell and Mary Lambert.

It was a pretty lame week for queer women on TV, but at least Kalinda and Lana were naked most of the time.

Lesbian criminals who are members of an international drug cartel, what the fuck else is up.

“By the way, just to keep the record straight, I was fucking HER! She wasn’t “fucking Lea DeLaria”! I’M THE TOP!”

Someday I will write an article comparing this entire show to Harry Potter, but today is not that day.

“Red’s husband is like, whoa, free-thinking woman, are you on your period or something? Who let you out of the kitchen?”

While it’s certainly true that one would face numerous logistical difficulties in carrying out murder via poison inside a prison, the rest of the advice in this Orange is the New Black segment is, um, hit or miss.

Melissa Harris-Perry interviewed Uzo Aduba, Kate Mulgrew, Laverne Cox and Piper Kerman on her show and Laverne Cox name-dropped Autostraddle and it was awesome.