Glee 307 Recap: I Kissed A Girl, Allegedly

If there’s anything I love more than sticking my face in a bucket of gumbo — and boy do my eardrums appreciate a good shellfish scrub — it’s white gay men writing stories about Latina lesbian women, filming them, and putting them on my television set!

This week on Glee, tiny mockingjays continued their vicious attack on Kurt’s sweater drawer, Sue stole Beast’s Balding Boyfriend from Beast and lost the election to Burtbear, inappropriate teacher-student relations exploded in Puckelby’s pants, Quinn changed personalities six times, Rachel & Kurt fretted over admissions to a conservatory acting program that by definition cares way more about their auditions than about grades or student government positions, and Santana and Brittany didn’t kiss.

This is similar to how nobody had sex for the first time in the “First Time” episode.

my intern made this graphic herself it wasn’t even my idea, isn’t she great?

Before we begin with the recap I’d like to point out that it’s clear (to me) that in preparation for this week’s Lezstravanganza, this episode’s writer, Matthew Hodgson, marathoned Season One of The L Word. I think this ’cause sometimes what I’ve just read/seen finds its way into my writing in insidious unconscious ways and I assume this happens to other writers too and having memorized all six seasons of The L Word, I can authoritatively state it happened to Matthew this week.

You can skip this part if you’re not as deranged as I am, but I’m just gonna refresh your memory of a few key L Word moments before we hop into this episode of Glee. Just keep these scenes IN MIND, grasshoppers:


Lara: You have to at least take some steps towards being out.
Dana: I will.
Lara: Because you’re going to be miserable being in the closet.
Dana: I know.
Lara: And you are really… really gay.
Dana: (whispering) I know.
Lara: You know, it’s one of the things I like so much about you. When you hide that, you’re hiding the best part.


Cherie:  In this fucking ugly world, that kind of love does not exist.


Dana Fairbanks appears in an ad campaign which, much to her surprise, references her sexuality. Dana then must come out to her parents before Subaru does it for her. They don’t take it well:

Dana: I didn’t do this to hurt you.
Sharon: We all have feelings for our girlfriends, Dana. It doesn’t mean you have to act on them.

Basically, these writers trying to write this episode is like me trying to write about vampires. I’m not a vampire. I like True Blood but I hate Twilight. So I’m pretty ambivalent on the whole vampire situation. You should only ever write about things you care about passionately! Otherwise don’t bother. Is what I think. As you can tell by that amazing paragraph you just read. Fuck. Jesus.

Anyhow! This recap won’t be getting any better, I suggest getting a box of Teddy Grahams and saddling up to the  laptop for a long long night.

This episode I’ll only be recapping the lesbianish scenes, because my vadge lesbo angry ragefuck womyny feminista powerpuff anger is already so extreme re: this episode that I can’t even get into things like, um, this:


We open in Principal Figgins’s Lair of Inconsistent Leadership, where Santana’s battling patriarchal oppression in the form of a two-week suspension for bitch-slapping Finn with two cheeseburgers after he outed her to all of Northwestern Ohio. Figgins cites a recently-invented zero-tolerance violence policy, but seriously, look at Finn, the kid isn’t exactly bleeding from the eyeball, this ain’t waterboarding.

you and the rest of heterosexual tumblr, fish-face, you and the rest of heterosexual tumblr

We pause for someone to point out that outing someone also warrants a jaunt to the office, but nobody does, so Santana then proudly introduces us to her unstoppably feisty alter ego, Snix:

Santana: “You don’t get it. When I get really pissed off, Santana gets taken over by my other evil personality. I call her ‘Snix.’ Her wrath of words is called ‘Snix juice.’ I’m kind of like the Incredible Hulk. You can’t blame me for anything Snix does.”
Figgins: “I’m suspending you and this Snix two weeks.”

Finn, hiding in the back in his flannel, debating whether or not he could enhance the gender identity diversity of Autostraddle’s 2013 Calendar by offering to model for it, suddenly lumbers into action. “She didn’t slap me,” he announces.

you can’t let santana go home now, i’ve still got an hour of psychological torture left

She’s off the hook! Back in the hallway, Santana’s mystified by this sudden twist of personality and presses Finn for his rationale. Finn responds in a tone so condescending only tiny birds and ferocious Snixes can hear it:

Finn: “I kinda feel bad for you. Look, I know we’ve been at each other a lot over these past couple of years, but the truth is I think you’re awesome. And when you hide who you are, I feel like you hide part of that awesomeness with it. And that’s why you act out, because you hurt inside every day.”

you think you know you, but you have no idea

Oh so wow. Nobody loves anything more than being told who they are and what they think by a six-foot-five hunk of brisket whose been photographed in public with Taylor Swift. Furthermore this riff isn’t Finn’s problem to fix — Santana hated him first and doesn’t need his pity, psychology, or penis.

Santana: “That’s sweet, but if you think that in exchange for keeping me from getting suspended, I’m gonna come…”
Finn: “Back to the Glee Club? Exactly!”

Finn’s obsessed with Glee Club now, he’s absorbed all of Rachel’s most insufferable personality traits. However, lacking Berry’s intelligence and talent, this absorption leads to Finn seeming deranged whereas for Rachel it just makes her seem selfish and ambitious.

Finn: “It’s up to you. Either you can come back to the choir room and embrace your awesome or take a two week vacation and enjoy your seat in the audience for Sectionals.”

Finn oughtta write that down, screenprint it onto a Hallmark card and sell that shit for National Coming Out Day because BOY am I inspired. Flip-Flop-Flin thus leaves Santana, and the audience, confused, nervous, and a little bit scared.

1. how many hours has it been since i changed my tampon, 2. oh my god, it’s been almost 6 hours, 3. it’s not like i’ve never had toxic shock syndrome before


Also in the hallway, perhaps on the same day or perhaps next week or yesterday, Rachel Berry is treading with frustrated fear, monologuing:  “I haven’t been this worried about a vote since Lambert versus Allen.”


I personally spent that fateful June 2009 evening drinking vodka out of a water bottle while interviewing D-list gay-or-gay-friendly celebrities in the 85 degree bath of lower Manhattan, and though the vodka numbed my apathy towards The Paradiso Girls it did not come close to easing my anxiety over the American Idol Election. By the way, Lambert “lost” the popular vote, but he won overall. Let that be a lesson to you Kurt — even if you lose the contest to get into NYADA, you can still make out with hot boys onstage and paint your nails for money.

Rachel casts a leer over at Brittany, heretofore known as Bi-Brittany, ’cause someone’s gotta say it and this show sure won’t — Brittany’s bisexuality, that is. Yup. If it’s Brittany and Santana’s relationship that technically outed both of them, it’s so strange, yet predictable, how invisible she and her story becomes. Anyhow —

Bi-Brittany: “If elected I will be sure to have sugary treats available at all times. It helps the concentration. That’s what George Washington said.”

and when you stick five of these inside a girl at the same time, it’s called fisting!

Anyhow, Rachel’s stressing that Kurt won’t get into NYADA without a student council win on his resume, which’ll leave her gay-less in New York City, stranded without easy access to makeovers and, apparently, souffles, neither of which she’s picked up from 18 years of living with Two Gay Dads. Now she’ll have to troll craigslist “gigs” when in need and will probably get killed just like everyone did in that Lifetime movie about the Craigslist killer.

Oh but first some Classic Rachel® perfection:

Rachel: “Nobody cares. They’re all so lost in their own worlds that they can’t see how important this is to me.”

Rachel locates Kurt and zeroes in on his blazer/bandana otherwise known as a “blezanda.”

look, i just think trading neck ornaments would make us both look a lot better for NYADA

Killjoy Kurt refuses to let in Lea’s sunshine:

Kurt: “What’s the point. I’m gonna lose unless I pull a JFK.”
Rachel: “You’re gonna shoot Brittany?”

Apparently JFK stuffed the ballot boxes somewhere along his rise (that’s what she said) to the presidency. Obviously Rachel’s already scheming, having seemingly forgotten what happened when George W.Bush cheated. I’ll remind you — 9/11. 9/11 happened.

i want allll of the things!

Rachel and Kurt go together like peas and carrots, but only if “Machiavellian” is a word you can use to describe vegetables.


Will Schecter has given up on securing Finn’s body or his ego to his chair for the entirety of a class period and figured if Finn’s always standing up he may as well do something. Like teach!

this’d be a good opportunity to slushy finn’s ass

Finn’s got the magic marker and scrawls “Lady Music” onto the vision board, announcing to the class that in order for Santana to embrace her identity (not that Santana’s actually displayed a reluctance to do so, she’d just rather do it on her own terms and not on television ’cause Finn OUTED HER), they’ll spend a week demonstrating exactly how men are capable of ruining beautiful things created by women by dedicating the set-list to “Lady Music.” It’s redic enough that “Lady Music” counts as a theme at all, seeing as we clock in at 51% of the population and are well-represented in the World of Music and therefore should be similarly represented in weekly setlists BUT SORRY HERE I GO AGAIN thinking women are real people.

Flip-Flop-Finn: “Santana we’re worried about you.”
Santana: “Worry about yourself, fetus face.”

[That fetus reference is foreshadowing for the position you’ll be in while cowering in the corner in about 15 minutes when Finn breaks into an barbaric low-key version of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”]

what it feels like to listen to finn talk

Finn: “Glee’s about learning how to accept yourself for who you are, no matter what other people think. And that’s what this music is all about.”
Santana: “So wait, I don’t even get a say in this? Not cool.”

Yup! Even when it relates to the sweet sapphic sounds of lesbian folk-rock music, a genre of music universally despised by every man I’ve ever shared a car with, Finn’s the decider. He decides when/why/how Santana should come out, he picks the music, he’s the decider. He decides things.

ok, let’s just get this over with and have a staring contest

Finn: “Everybody in this room knows about you and Brittany and we don’t judge you for it. We celebrate it because it’s who you are. I know not everybody outside of this room is as accepting and cool as we are, but we’re doing this assignment this week so that you know in this rotten, stinking mean world that you at least have a group of people who will support your choice to be whoever you wanna be.”

First, Kurt, clearly tired from the sword-fight that resulted in his diagonally damaged sweater-like-thing, chucks his past beliefs and prior personality out the fake window and condescendingly says coming out was hard for him, too.

that’s what he said

Kurt and Blaine are ready to kick off Manslaughter Lady Music Week with “Fuckin’ Perfect,” a song written by two men and one woman with an exclamation point in her first name. Blaine says Kurt and Blaine always sing this song to each other in the car which is REDONK adorbs, and you know it.

this tape will be a part of Kurt’s audition for a job in Toontown at the Magic Kingdom

As Klain hop around performing their Spectacular of Sanctimonious Bullshit, the entire Glee Club flips out and begins smiling and opening their mouths like kids catching snowflakes on their tongues but thank the lord of all that is glorious in the world of character consistency, Santana remains fairly icy throughout.

if this was me i would be completely mortified

Meanwhile, Finn’s grinning like a cheetah who just got fistfucked by a five vegan turkey dogs. At one point, his entire head begins to expand, like a balloon.

they think they know everything but they don’t even know who won the mash-off

Santana: “Thank you guys, thank you Finn, especially. You know, with all the horrible crap I’ve been through in my life, now I get to add that.”

You know, with all the horrible crap I’ve already been through in this episode, at least Santana said that.


Some other things happen involving, I think, a Will/Emma scene in the Teachers’ Lounge or maybe an office-related event involving a journaling voiceover re: Sue Sylvester’s madcap race for the senatorial seat via Cooter’s cooch:

Butttt anyhow, back at Manslaughter Lady Music Week, Puck is slaughtering fields of unborn lesbians like a Roto-Rooter by “singing” one of Melissa Etheridge’s many Odes to Stalking, “I’m the Only One.”

Puck is making a breast cancer survivor cry gay tears, which is against all the rules for all the things:

i’m alright, i’m alright, it only hurts when finn breathes

COME ON DUDES — you’ve already taken government, the world economy, television, movies, literature, religion, sports, Logo and prison, can’t you let us keep our lesbian folk-rock music?
Cut to the hallway, where Quinn attempts to seduce Puck into a weekend sleepover to play hide the salami which relates, somehow, to whatever enigmatic plotstravangza the writers gifted Dianna Agron this week, but Puck turns her down because Quinn is approximately ten years short of the minimum required age for any passengers interested in riding Puck’s pony.

a really important storyline


Later and/or simultaneously in the heedful hallways of Finn Hudson High, Finn the Decider is ambling over to Santana to vomit some words in her face. Finn’s probably bored, he’s already been to Wendy’s twice and Rachel’s compulsively micro-managing the electoral process and brushing her hair. He just watched Ke$ha’s “It Gets Better” video and has a lot of feelings:

look, those 30 seconds i spent inside you were the most special 30 seconds of my life

Finn wants to know how she likes his “lesson” thus far.

Santana: “Why are you getting so worked up about this?”
Finn: “Because I don’t want you to die.”




Finn: “A few weeks ago, some kid who made one of those “It Gets Better” videos killed himself. You deal with your anxiety surrounding this stuff by attacking other people and some day that’s not gonna be enough and you’re gonna start attacking yourself.”

sing it, sister

Okay, firstly, have some motherfucking respect for the fact that Jamey Rodemeyer was an actual person — a person very unlike Santana Lopez — an actual human being, not a little trick you can pull out to infuse a lackluster episode with faux-emotional-weight ’cause you can’t actually be bothered to think about anything more complicated or character-specific than that.

Santana: “Thanks but that’s not gonna happen. I’d miss me too much.”




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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3228 articles for us.


  1. Riese. Riesssse! All the feelings, all of them I swear. This episode put me into a flying rage for hours afterwards. I feel insulted as a fan of the show. I’m not sure I even want to watch anymore if this is going to be the “conclusion” to this story ark. I just feel so upset over the whole thing. Glee an have such amazing moments of emotional clarity where I have been exactly where the characters on the show are, but then it can also misfire so so severely like this. You would think for a show that prides itself on “acceptance” of the LGTB community, they would consult a few queer women before a shit show like this airs.

    Anyway, remember how I was raging? I raged so hard I vomited this 600+ word essay out on just how much I hated this episode. Keep in mind, it was from right after the episode airs so I’m sorry if it covers stuff you said in the review here. Anyway, maybe some of you will enjoy it.

    Abridged review

    Long Review

    The more I think about this episode, the angrier it makes me. As I was watching it, I began by thinking “this episode is a C. No, maybe a C-. This is approaching D- territory.” I can not think of one likable thing in this episode, not from the creepy “hot for teacher” storyline, not from the horrendously handled “Biest in love” B plot, and definitely not in the travesty that was the Santana story-line.

    So full disclosure, i have been waiting for this episode for a while. Santana is my favorite character, and as a queer girl in my early 20’s, I tend to identify with her more than other characters. Her experience of trying to figure out who is, of falling for her friend, of trying to be accepted is something I personally can relate to. But even taking off those goggles, even after trying to find something good tonight I couldn’t. I just hated this episode.

    Anyway, so as to avoid an angry wall of text scream rant, I’ll try to sum up the parts that stuck out to me the most in a handy numbered list.

    1) So Finn helped Santana avoid suspension. That was genuinely good of him I’ll admit, but what followed was so incredibly demeaning and uncomfortable I literally watched this episode with the “DX” facial expression.

    That’s right, the assignment of the week, as Mr. Shue so helpfully wrote on the chalk board, was “Lady Songs”! Songs by ladies, and about ladies liking ladies, just like you Santana ;). Because that’s just what someone who was publicly outed on TV wants, more people to be paying attention to them.

    2) Speaking of the songs, I don’t think I liked any of them this week. While most of them were only dull or outright bad covers, the “I Kissed A Girl” was also incredibly offensive to actual lesbians. So now Santana is getting hit on by gross guys in the hallway (Thanks again Finn!), but don’t worry the girls of Glee are to the rescue. This little act of girl power sure puts me in the mood for a song. What’s the single least appropriate thing to shove in here? Oh yes, Rachel singing about kissing girls with the backing of all the other straight members of the Glee Club. I won’t get into how inappropriate it is to use a song about a straight woman making out with other women for the benefit of men in an episode about a real lesbian being forcibly outed, but I will say this: DID ANYONE CATCH WILL’S PERVE FACE DURING THAT NUMBER?

    3) So Santana comes out to her actual parents off screen, but don’t worry they think being gay is A-OK. That’s good because I was worried we might get to know more about her immediate family and what environment she lives in outside of high school.

    Ah, but Santana isn’t off the hook yet. She still has to come out to the grandmother she’s never mentioned before. For the purpose of this comment, which is turning into a rather in-depth review, i’ll call her Abuela Enchilada, because she was pretty much the most stereotypical hispanic grandmother possible. So G-ma Enchilada is making Santana some tacos for something, when Santana tells her her big secret. I don’t have access to the actual scene, but from what I remember it went like this:

    “Abuela, I love girls like normal girls love boys.”

    “Ay Caramba Santana! Don’t you know little baby jesus [pronounced hey-zeus] cries little baby tears when you kiss girls and like it? NO SALSA FOR YOU.”

    4) Everything else in this episode I pretty much hated too.


    Anyway Riese, thanks again. Thanks a million and one times.

    • Annnnd apparently you can’t italicize text with the “+” method in wordpress! #themoreyouknow

      • And apparently “less than” and “greater than” signs don’t show up either! What a failure of a comment.

    • You know, when they said that I Kissed A Girl would be in the episode, people were outraged. But somehow, it managed to be the least offensive part of this trainwreck, travesty of an episode.

      That episode was more than just kicking Santana while she was down. It was burying her.

      • “You know, when they said that I Kissed A Girl would be in the episode, people were outraged. But somehow, it managed to be the least offensive part of this trainwreck, travesty of an episode.”

        yes, this, yes

    • This was so epic on the feelings and more feelings on this GLEE epi that I can’t even right now, I think I’m in love. *It could be the wine but still…)

    • also i had no idea where her grandmother was coming from — were we just supposed to assume it was a religious thing by default? i felt like the writers didn’t even know where her opposition came from. and if it was a religious thing, or really anything predictable, where was santana’s mom/dad (whichever one is the son/daughter of Abuela) helping her out with the conversation or giving her tips? nobody would send their daughter into that alone — i feel like accepting parents are usually crazy overprotective about Telling Grandma. Anyhow! Yes, even that pissed me off.

      • I think an analogy can be drawn (as it has on Tumblr, god bless) between Santana coming out to her abuela and Quinn being outed by Finn for being pregnant. The family members in both situations were more concerned about public scandal rather than the actual acts themselves. So, no problem with Santana secretly loving girls…as long as they’re a secret, and she continue living the heteronormative lifestyle everyone expects of her.

        • I’m pretty sure that the writers just don’t know how to handle a lesbian latina’s comming out and they figured “oh well, good enough”.
          BUT from just MY own personal experience, I would say that it is about secrecy. I’m a queer latina raised catholic. I also have a gay uncle, but it’s as if my family has their own DADT, no one talks about it. So my uncle still has a “roommate”. Me, I hide nothing, but it makes for tension. It’s also a generational thing though, latino family’s elders are for the most part, traditional when it comes to social/gender roles.Santana’s grandmother is trying to hold on to those appearences and is refusing to deal with it (by kicking Santana out) because that would mean challenging everything she was taught to believe her whole life. Abuela currently isn’t ready for that, so for now, if she doesn’t see the “problem” then it doesn’t exist.
          I mean I could probably write a long in-depth essay touching on what it is to be queer and latina, but I fear Glee didn’t have any of that in mind when writing the script besides maybe a couple stereotypes.

          • So, even though you know this is how it plays out in A LOT of latin families (I’m Brazilian and, yes, there are a lot of ppl here in my country with this Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell attitude. My mom was like ”Okay, you’re bi, but don’t talk abt girls in front of me.” My grandma haven’t even aknwockleged my bisexuality once in the 6 years since I came out) you still choose to think the writers were being ”stereotypical”… Ooookay then.

          • but a lot of white families have the DADT policy too! I know a lot of white boys who have told their mothers and its like they never did. so i think its annoying that the show chose to reinforce the stereotype that non-white people are less accepting of homosexuality than whites. even just including the parents would have improved things. but then, we’ve NEVER SEEN rachel’s gay dads, which makes me insane.

          • I have a similar DADT situation with my Swedish grandmother. But I guess I’d say it’s more like, I talk… she stares at me confused for a while without response and continues to refer to my “girlfriends” as just “friends”. Then, when I talk about my actual “friends who are girls” she gets confused and thinks I’m sleeping with all of them and has to ask my cousin for clarification. Her silence is completely unnerving and it’s frustrating that everything I say seems to be washed over in her mind with “friend” or “roommate”.

            But then again, I also got the whole, “We’ve all had crushes on our girlfriends… but look how straight we turned out to be!” (ala The L Word) when I first came out. I think this must be the cause of the confusion. She’s just always waiting for me to stop practicing kissing with my friends and fall on a penis. It must be a generational thing.

          • No, what I meant by the last line about the script is that I don’t have too much hope for the writers giving us anything culturally substantial/realistic about Santana’s storyline from here on out. I mean look at their track record: just an example, episode “Asian F”. THEREFORE, me trying to compare and and anaylize latino culture with whatever Glee is doing to Santana’s story line is a waste of time.
            I shared my personal experience as a latina yes, but I was searching to make that scene relevant to my life (if you seek you shall find) but I bet you that wasn’t the writer’s intention.

            Thanks for the snark though that’s always better than acually asking someone to elaborate because they weren’t clear.

      • well, some people were speculating that santana’s parents are pretty absent from her life and that she is closest to her abuela, that she was probably primarily raised by her. that would sort of make sense, but now they’re saying gloria estefan will be playing santana’s mother, and i’m guessing they won’t have such a big star play an absent parent. honestly, people are just making up theories because glee gives us no context ever.

      • They’ve been so annoyingly incredibly spectacularly inconsistent with information about Santana’s home life that it makes me want to drive out to Lima Heights and find out for myself exactly what is going on. Or just assume that Santaa is lying about 83.7% of the things she says about her family.

        • Exactly!

          Santana is like The Joker. Every personal question is granted a different answer each time.

          Her dad is a “real” doctor yet she lives in a neighborhood adjacent to what I assumed was section 8 housing. Lol at least that’s what Lima Heights sounds like.


      • NOBODY would send their daughters into that situation alone? Really? I guess you’re a very lucky person with very lucky friends, if every parent you know takes good care of their kids and always know how to act in the most supportive way possible. Guess what: ppl in real life fuck up with their kids. A LOT!

        • ok jesus well then we can’t really talk about anything, ever, if we write off every logical or character inconsistency as “well parents/friends/girls/boys/teachers fuck up with their kids/friends/girls/boys/students a lot!”

          also, i kinda wanna poke you in the ear for telling me that parents fuck up with their kids like it was a newsflash i’d somehow missed during my 30 years of life on earth. Yeah, I know, I didn’t grow up in an isolation tank and any time you wanna chit-chat about my childhood just hit me up, we can talk fuckups all day. After listening to Finn all week I was really missing that condescending voice in my life so I’m glad you stepped in.

          ANYHOW, i guess i misspoke and didn’t mean exactly what it seems like you think i said but basically — we were told her parents were “cool with it” and so I imagined the next thing those cool parents would’ve done is do what all parents seem to do in every family which is tell her not to tell Grandma. I’m not saying they would’ve literally accompanied her, but it seemed like Santana didn’t know what to expect and I imagine her parents could’ve helped her out there.

          I feel like this is an epidemic across all of lesbian life. Even me, everybody told me not to tell Grandma. “There’s some things grandma doesn’t need to know,” etc etc. I don’t know what my Dad would’ve said if he was still alive, he probably would’ve given her more credit, but I feel like parents of gay kids in general are very protective of their parents.

          The thing is my grandma found out on her own, and she IS fine with it, and nobody DID give her enough credit. But we’ll never talk about it, obviously.

          • My parents implored me not to come out to my grandma, which I respected. Once it reached the point of ridiculousness (my girlfriend and I visiting her regularly), I finally decided to just come out. She was great and very understanding…to me. After she died I found out she was not nearly as accepting of my parents – she vented her displeasure / wrath on them and their parenting “failure” i.e. if they had parented me properly, I wouldn’t have turned out gay; given that they failed, there was nothing to do but accept the outcome.

      • It felt so lazy. I felt that even the woman playing Grandma hated her fucking lines because they almost made no sense at all.

  2. Why didn’t Marti Noxon, who did so well with Willow and Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, get to write Santana’s coming out episode? If you have an out lesbian in your writer’s room why let Matt Hodgson pen that insulting episode?

    • Question: is “Marti Noxon, who did so well with Willow and Tara” sarcastic?

      Because most lesbifolk really dislike her/season 6, for fairly obvious reasons (dead lesbian/crazy lesbian).

      Aaaand also, (I’m not sure if this is what you’re saying but) Marti Noxon is not a gay lady. There is a gay lady writing for Glee though, and yeah, I’m surprised they didn’t get her to do Santana’s Coming Out Episode.

      • I got caught on a PUI – posting under the influence
        but yeah, out lesbian in the writer’s room: let her pen the freaking coming out episode!
        and Marti Noxon, I thought she was with Buffy since the beginning… Go figure, I was late to the Buffy party, only saw it on DVD years after it ended…

        • She was! But when Joss went to go do Firefly during season 6 of Buffy, she was more or less in charge.

      • I don’t understand why Marti Noxon is the one blamed for Tara’s death so often. Joss is the real killer.

  3. This was the episode the fandom was most looking forward to and… I have to say, it’s probably the worst episode Glee has ever done. It’s irresponsible and it’s sexist. Even people on tumblr that I just reblog cute Brittana gifs from were saying “Wow, white straight guy to the rescue” and “white knight syndrome”. I was really hoping Finn would somehow, in any way, be held responsible for what he did. But even though he’s the shittiest character on the show (beating out Schue at this point), he’s somehow supposed to be the hero.

    • He’s not ”supposed to be the hero”, the point is that he’s changing! As in, you know, character development? That’s kind of important in TV shows.

    • I know! I kept thinking throughout all his condescending “I’m worried about you”, “I kinda feel sorry for you” bullshit, HE HASN’T APOLOGIZED FOR FUCKING UP SANTANA’S LIFE. And he NEVER DID. I still can’t fucking believe it.

  4. One more thing. For an episode about Santana being outed for having a girlfriend, a girlfriend who was in almost every scene with her, you would thing, I don’t know, Brittany might comment on things. Even one line like, “Sweetie, are you ok?” or “This must be so hard for you” or even “Lets put laxitives in Finn’s food.

    Now the handling of Brit’s character in general is a whole other issue too. I mean, two weeks ago she said her first time was with an “alien who invaded her tent at cheerleading camp”. So, if we are to believe the writers, Brit is person so out of touch with the world that she mistook being molested for an alien invasion.

    So yea Glee writers, go to hell.

    • This. The problem is that the writers gave Britt a lot of clarity in season 2, and now they’ve either stripped her of it or refuse to show it to us. I think they just have no idea how to write her.

      I can’t believe she had less than 5 LINES in the episode centered on her girlfriend’s coming-out and NO screen time alone with Santana. It’s appalling.

      I’m willing to bet that most of the Brittana moments we got in 3×07 were supplied solely by Naya and Heather. Bless them.

  5. This episode gave me so many feelings, most of them of the rage variety and aimed at how Finn such a massive douchebag.

    • I agree! I cannot believe I wasted an hour watching this horrible episode. The highlight of this episode was reading this recap. The comments under the pictures were hilarious, my favorite being “the screamer is mine!”

  6. I should add, I was tempted not to read this because then I might be able to persuade myself the whole thing was a terrible dream.

    However, I was able to smile at some of the recap, where once I might have laughed, if I wasn’t SCARRED by the horror of this episode. I commend you for being able to keep your eyes open long enough to be able to produce this.

  7. Thank you for this re-cap. I just watched the episode tonight, and afterwards I sort of felt like I didn’t want to be alive anymore. But then I read this recap, and some of it made me laugh A LOT, so I feel a little better. But I’m still so angry. SO ANGRY.

  8. this week on glee….puck kissed a girl.

    if i didn’t have one tiny bit of hope for brittana’s storyline i would stop watching this shit immediately. also, i wish they would stop ruining quinn’s character… diana agron is one of my favorites.

  9. I have so much misplaced rage right now that I actually cut up an old sweater for it to look like Kurt’s AND I AM STILL FILLED WITH RAGE BUT WITH A HALF-SWEATER GAAH!

    I wore it, looked in the mirror and nearly passed out from laughing on how stupid it looks on me. This is only positive thing I can take away from this episode.

    Thanks for the recap it’s like taking all the good things and magnifying them x100 so this whole experience and be somewhat pleasant.

      • I don’t know, but can we talk about that for a second? Because it’s bugging me in a serious way. None of what he has been wearing is “high fashion” or even close to “fashionista”, like his character is supposed to wear/be. No, instead he’s wearing costumes and what looks like whatever he can find in a high end thrift store (not to knock thrift stores, it’s just hard to shop there without coming out looking like the 90s). I feel like they changed costume designers or something for him and the new person just does not know what fashion is so they just said, fuck it, let’s put him in crazy shit, that counts right? Ugh, no, do your research! You are doing it wrong!

        /end angry theatre person rant

        • Absolutely. He looks like a mentally ill bag lady stereotype. It’s not as if there aren’t a million fashion resources on the Internet; why not make use of them? I don’t watch the episodes, I just read the recaps, and from the pictures I’ve been thinking…what the hell is going on? Is he okay? That’s not the kid I remember from season one.

    • As long as we’re talking clothes – can we get Santana and Brittany out of those damn cheerios uniforms (and ponytails)? God knows I love a short skirt, but seeing Santana in real clothes at her abuela’s was a breath of fresh air.

      • Now, that costume choice actually makes sense to me. The reason we saw them (and Quinn) in street clothes at school for a brief time in season two was because they were off the Cheerios at the time. It seems like Sue makes all her Cheerios stay in full uniform for the entire school week. Which, really, only makes sense if every member has multiple uniforms, but that does seem like something Sue would do since we know she’s over funded and more than a tad cruel. And honestly, they were getting pretty ridiculous with Santana and Brittany’s street clothes towards the end there anyway what with the fuzzy hats and other such baffling fashion choices.

        • Oh, yeah, I know the reasoning behind the uniforms, I’m just so tired of them… and I loved their ridiculous street clothes. :)

      • I would also be interested in getting “Santana and Brittany* out of those damn cheerios uniforms.” ;)

        * The 24 something year old actors, not the 17 year olds they play.

      • Thank you!!!!!!!! I just realized, this season, that they are always wearing uniforms. Told my bestie that the other day–you never wear uniforms unless there’s a game that day! wardrobe change!

  10. I could be crazy, but I’m 90% certain that Brit and Santana DID kiss in this episode. While that kid was doing his newscast from the gym while people were voting, they kissed behind him. Behind him, yes, but you could definitely see it.

  11. I don’t even know what to say about this episode. It just kept getting worse. My jaw kept dropping even though it had already dropped. My head basically turned inside out.

    I feel like I shouldn’t be surprised because it was consistent with how the show has always treated this storyline, but I was. But it was way worse, right? So gross.

  12. I was gonna write about all the rage I felt over this, but I think Santana sums this episode up the best…
    “Of all the horrible crap I’ve been through in life, now I get to add that”

    I clapped when she said that.

  13. 1) Kurt and Blaine Do Sondheim.
    Define do.

    2) My ex-girlfriend named her pug Cooter.
    Do they even know what that means?

    3) Can we just put an old video of Santana slapping Finn in at the end of this recap, so we can finish off on a high note?

  14. I was actually going to look to try to download this episode last night, despite the uniformly awful recaps, when this mild windstorm we’ve been experiencing in Southern CA knocked out all the electricity on my block for the remainder of the night. No joke. By the time I woke the fever to view it had passed.

    I stll have to see it for myself, but what scares me most about this is, and this isn’t something that I have concrete facts to put forward, so bear with me, but it seems like we’re at the moment that always happens when a group gets about 60% of the rights they should have had all along and which no one gave to them, where TBTB muscle in with their popular culture and media and confidently, smilingly hijack the narrative. And out comes THEIR definition of what it means to be, set by the rational lines of their infinite goodness and judgment…which you had fucking better not deviate from.

    And the possibility of real freedom is lost to a corporate facsimile. FYI, lesbians and invisible bisexuals (I refer here only to ep 307), the die has been cast, the man knows more than you – even at the very birth of your coming out, which he may provide. You will NOT be consulted. Now bask in his wisdom and mercy.

    I’m sick of this shit. I wrote a few days ago on your reality TV post that there is NO good TV, and this pretty much seals the deal in my mind.

    • yes i feel there’s a limit — things can be good but never TOO good. i can’t explain it exactly but i know what it means in my mind

      • and then the Powers that Be pat themselves on the back for making things a little better for that poor marginalized group, and get all butthurt when said group reminds them of the discrimination they still face or the rights they still don’t have.

        “But you guys can vote/sit at the front of the bus/marry in a handful of states without federal recognition or any other legal protection now, why are you so angry?! I helped you!”

  15. Here’s how I described the episode to my best friend, who is a week behind:

    Ostensibly the entire episode is about Santana. And somehow she doesn’t get a single song.

  16. As I read and related to the conclusion of this fine piece of recapitulation, the ground beneath me quaked (true story). Earth is with us, children. United in disgust we are. Papas fritas, indeed.

    Speaking of which: Holy fokin’ Jesús-, food- and secrecy-peddling Hispanic American Grandmadre; how I abhor thy stereotypical and presumably talcum powdered, heat rubbed ways. [Just in case my own adorable grandmothers are reading this: I’m obviously kidding, mujeres. I love you both and your ways very much. Hugs, gospel and plátanos maduros forever.]

    Someone who may also be reading this: Lima Heights’ sauciest senior, ‘cause she sure did seem like a sad, scowling, secret lesbiana (aka #3, I think) who just wasn’t blessed with a Finn-type guardian when she was younger, and therefore could never figure out how to live a fun, open life.

    Finally, Reggie ‘The Sauce’ Salazar’s, if you’re reading this (I’ve apparently decided that every living thing is reading this), maybe you’ll find solace in this: watching Glee makes me understand your plight now. I, too, have so many questions.


  17. this recap was awesome. like really funny, and then also really touching, like at the end. this episode could have been soooo much more than it was. I didnt set my expectations all that high, but still. my main complaint is that somehow, through everything, finn always comes off as the good guy. also that there weren’t actually any girls kissing.
    and I like how you were talking about how the writer must have been watching the l word season one and parts of that unconciously made it’s way into the episode, and then you were referencing the hunger games, which you said you were reading. funny

    • Yes, what Mary said. Every week people say “your recap made me feel so much better about the crappy show” and this week that couldn’t be more true, Riese. You rise to the occasion every time, and this weeks’ entry was sublime, truly: funny, serious and touching all in one nice bundle. Well done.

  18. From jump this episode filled me with rage. I kept watching, hoping, praying and did I mention hoping this episode would not totally let me down but no such luck. This episode could have been amazing, they could’ve had Finn have to actually deal with his below the belt BS on Santana, they could’ve had him say “Wow, Sanatana I am a giant douche, I am so sorry I outed you to the entire world; it was a really shitty thing for me to do and really uncalled for.” Alas, once again no such luck. Why didn’t we see Santana’s parents? Surely that deserved more than 30 seconds. Why was her conversation with her abuela 3 minutes long? Santana’s journey could’ve made a difference to teen-age girls, the way Kurt’s did to boys but again no such luck. Instead we get Finn, white boy super hero to save Santana from herself, wether she likes it or not. Thanks Glee writers, thanks for nothin.

  19. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AMAZING REVIEW – i love the hilarious sarcasm in all your reviews and i swear you made me laugh SOOOO hard because you know, if we don’t laugh at this atrocity at this point, all we will all be doing is crying. Ive cried enough already these last 2 or so days (dont even know, i lost track of time amidst the misery)so i so needed that laugh. The bit about Finn saying about young Jamey who committed suicide, your capsy ranting, i was choking on the laughter of how you put it thinking MFTE, M.F.T.E.!!!!!

    Keep doing these fabulous reviews, you bring me some ounce of sanity amidst this disgrace called Glee.

    P.S. i really want to know how Naya Rivera and Heather Morris feel at what they did to their storyline. They deserve so much better.

    • I really want to know what the actors think about being on this show too. Like if Dianna Agron is really happy about this stupid as fuck storyline. If they still think this show is doing anything positive for future generations. Am I making sense?

      • I get the impression from the relentless positivism and ass-kissing on twitter accounts that they’re all still in shock from the smack down they got over the summer for questioning the show and the story lines. I’d pay good money to hear what they really think about the show, especially Dianna, who is damned brainy if you check out what she reads.

      • Well, from their tweets, Lea, Cory and Naya are proud of this episode. Dianna hasn’t said one fucking thing about the show on her Twitter or Tumblr or FB which makes me love her that much more for not pandering to the promotional bullshit the others are.

  20. I forgot and yeah no girl kissing in an episode called “I Kissed A Girl.” Where was Brittney in all this?

  21. you guys i watched this alone ’cause bcw was out doing something super-important and therefore i had nobody to talk to about it besides tinkerbell and i never want to read anything about it (like anyone else’s reviews/recaps) before recapping in order to remain PURE but at some point i cracked and asked intern grace if she’d read anything and what the consensus was because I felt like it sucked. And she said she hadn’t heard anything good about it and I was like oh good, it’s okay for me to hate it and nobody will think i’m a killjoy and she was like oh totally and now look! look! you all hate it too, this is so affirming.

    • Grace and I were exchanging comments while watching the episode together. It made me feel better knowing I wasn’t alone with my rage…

  22. omg what the fuck. This is why I can’t watch this show, incredibly triggering bullying story lines aside.

    Finn is a mess of a character. It’s fucking sad. What I read here reminds me of Kurt lecturing Mercedes about not needing a boyfriend etc etc which I have always thought was the most condescending thing I’ve ever seen. (well ok, the pity kiss was worse) Bitch, Mercedes isn’t trying to make you her stand in boyfriend, she wants her friend to not fall off the face of the planet when he meets an attractive penis. WEIRD. In contrast it seemed like what Puck had to say to Quinn was a lot more genuine and had more to do with the characters than it did some kind of writer imposed mansplaining.

    Though can I vote that the really papi really pic share time with the this is crazy photo? Because. Epic.

    • I mean, we don’t even have to look back that far — remember ARTIE giving advice to Coach Beist about how to get laid?! Talk about condescending.

  23. I think it’s pretty interesting (though not surprising) to compare how comments in gay male sites like Afterelton differ to comments in sites like this. They don’t see a lot of problems with this episode and how it treats Santana’s sexuality and just Finn in general. It just makes me appreciate websites like Autostraddle more.

    • I had an argument with my gay male friend over this episode. His response to the horrible sexism: “Shrug. That’s our society. That’s what we expect.” NO. JUST FUCKING. NO. JUST BECAUSE SOCIETY IS PATRIARCHAL DOES NOT EXCUSE THIS KIND OF BULLSHIT. NO. FUCK YOU.

      • My gay friend told me, basically, to shut up, accept the episode because it made it easier for other gay cheerleaders to come out, and quit whining because I clearly didn’t make the cheer squad.

    • To be fair, the Autostraddle reaction to the bi-guys-don’t-exist episode wasn’t very upset. Some even declared it “the best episode ever.” It is just a matter of people being self-centered.

    • also though, i’ve read commentary from straight white males who found the episode horrifying for most of the same reasons lesbian reviewers have (check out av club’s review. so spot-on and very funny as well)

      • Yeah, I love the A.V. Club’s reviews of Glee, I feel like I always agree with what Todd VanDerWerff has to say about the show these days.

  24. I think some of the ways in which Santana’s sexuality was discussed in this episode were problematic. Like when Finn said, “you at least have a group of people who will support your choice to be whoever you wanna be.” Um… choice? F’real? No one ever said that shit to Kurt. No one ever patronized him like that. And then Santana said, “I love girls the way I’m SUPPOSED to feel about guys,” which kind of implies that her homolady inclinations are unnatural. And on top of it all, the message of the episode was basically, “Women just need men to straighten (no pun intended?) them out.” I just hope there aren’t any young girls out there – gay or otherwise inclined – who feel hopeless or down on themselves after watching this hour long crapstravaganza. If Kurt’s storyline made young gay men feel accepted and not alone, I can’t imagine what this episode did to young women of every persuasion. Is homo-misogyny a thing? Because I’ve heard that there’s a general idea floating around that it’s harder to be a gay man than it is to be a gay lady, and I think that’s totally one of the messages I’m getting from “Glee” right now.

    • i think the “supposed to feel about guys” line was a strategic move on the part of santana (who, you know, is totally capable of handling her own coming out, thank you very much fuck you finn hudson). she has a keen awareness of her abuela’s traditional values and so conveys her sexuality in the way that she believes Abuela will most understand.

      • I can see that, I guess, it just kind of made me sad to hear it, especially because, if that’s the intention, then it’s meant to be a line full of actual nuanced emotion in an episode that was like having a giant concrete block dropped on your head.

    • That’s interesting, considering Ryan Murphy…isn’t he gay? I mean you would think he wouldn’t support all that “men fixing women’d problems” in the episode…

  25. per the last bit — motion to shake the lesbian phone tree until an interview with Alison Adler falls out

  26. I really love the last paragraph of this recap. Sometimes I worry that fandom is creating a brain drain for future generations of creative people. I worry that really creative, talented teens will feel that fandom is a good enough creative outlet where it is easy to get a relatively large supportive audience and not pursue the arts but become a lawyer who writes about other peoples characters on the side (not that there is anything wrong with lawyers being creative on the side). I fear that only amoral, narcissistic people like IFC and Ryan Murphy will be the ones telling our stories to the straight public and it will continue to be ok as they are gay.

    Autostraddle gives me hope that awesome unicorn people like you are pursuing media and the arts even though it is hard. I hope that this horrible horrible episode fills some super talented kids with angry lesbian feminist rage and inspires them to try and create original work to change the current paradigm that considers this episode progressive.

  27. This episode pushed me over the edge, so I’m officially only watching Glee to follow these recaps (and Kurt’s sweater situation) from now until forever.

  28. “But at least I still have this stupid beret on.” caption made me crack up and then I proceeded to make what I believed was the most clever thing ever. “Heh. Maybe we should call her Rachel Beret instead.” Yes terrible.

    BUT NOT AS TRAGIC AS THIS EPISODE. What? Even? It’s so bad that I paused to shudder at it being the worst thing ever, that I forgot the point I was going to state. UGH.

  29. The worst part is that (I think) they could have made the episode ten bajillion times less offensive with a single change – that all of this patriarchal, sanctimonious bullshit came from ANY other character, and preferably the group as a whole. It still would have been self-righteous crap, I think it would have sparked less outrage about white male privilege, etc etc (on my part at least). It would be less about self-congratulatory man-baby Finn feeling good about his ‘great acceptance of the gays’ and more about the glee club letting Santana know that, at the very least, she was supported by a group of friends despite the shitstorm that was happening elsewhere in her life. But that might’ve been a bit unrealistic because it mostly looked like they didn’t care and/or were bored.

    And, you know, it would’ve been nice to see some processing scenes (with or w/o Brittany), not to be stereotypical or anything. Kurt (and Rachel) got a few this episode over his terrible college application storyline, yet we get no sense of what Santana is thinking/feeling outside of the words that come from her mouth. Really, Papi, really?!!

    Like…I’m more than willing to embrace this show because of all of the wacky melodrama and gayness, but give me some fucking credit and stop insulting my intelligence. Good concept, TERRIBLE execution.

  30. This episode was terrible, from the adults who were absent, useless, complicit in the continued outing antics, and asleep at the switch.

    And Finn… we see the burns on your hands, we smell the gasoline, we see the matches in your set the fire, you’re not the hero for putting it out.

  31. “look, i just think trading neck ornaments would make us both look a lot better for NYADA”

    I’m not sure whether Riese or Grace wrote that line, but I love you guys both so much I can barely breathe sometimes. Laughing WAY to hard at work.

  32. not that Santana’s actually displayed a reluctance to do so, she’d just rather do it on her own terms and not on television ’cause Finn OUTED HER

    an actual human being, not a little trick you can pull out to infuse a lackluster episode with faux-emotional-weight ’cause you can’t actually be bothered to think about anything more complicated or character-specific than that.

    despite the consistent lady-patience and compassion we’ve exhibited throughout Kurt’s 56 Coming Out Episodes, 75 Magic Dates and 5,452 Dad-Son conversations, that’s it. Just that one magical line.

    THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. MY FUCKING FEELINGS EXACTLY. i’m so mad that i actually care about these characters because now i’m fucking roped into this pile of shit they call a tv show and really it just makes me angry every tuesday night. someone please explain to me a) why they chose to have finn sing a reeeeeaaaally slow version of girls just want to have fun (that doesn’t make ANY SENSE) and b) why it made santana go soft. please. UGH. FUCK.

  33. Ew, I hadn’t watched Glee since season 1 because it’s an awful, misogynistic show, but I’d been keeping up with Santana’s coming out story via episode reviews here and there. I decided to give the show another shot with this week’s episode, and seriously what the fuck.

    WHY is Santana’s coming out story all about FINN?

    Side note, Abuela is probably closeted, herself.

    Also, why don’t we actually get to SEE Brittana’s relationship? There have been so many heartfelt Kurt/Blaine scenes (I’m guessing, as I haven’t kept up with the show, but Ryan Murphy seems to love to hump the daylights out of Kurt when he isn’t doing so to Finn, so I’m assuming there have been), but all viewers get of Brittany/Santana are a few chaste handholds, and like one peck on the cheek. Santana keeps saying how much she loves Brittany, but we never get to see this. And how does Brittany feel? Does she even REALIZE that she and Santana are in a relationship?

    So much stupid I can’t even.

    • “Side note, Abuela is probably closeted, herself.”

      Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. Which annoys me because the “person tormenting the gay is actually a closeted gay themselves” thing is SO predictable and Glee has already done it with Karofsky, I’d really like to see them take a different route.

      Though maybe they won’t, since they seem determined to handle Santana’s coming-out storyline differently from Kurt’s, for better and for worse. But I don’t know, Glee does seem to have a reluctance to admit that sometimes people just do and say assholish or crazy things with no reasoning behind them. Remember, they even tried to make a Hallmark moment out of Quinn’s ridiculous “stealing Beth back from Shelby” storyline with her speech about Beth being her “perfect thing she can’t screw up.”

      • honestly, while that thought did cross my mind (dana fairbanks’ mom! tea’s grandma!), the glee writers have probably already forgotten about Abuela. Doubt we’ll ever see her again. (oh but how wonderful would a lopez family gathering be, with gloria estefan supporting her hija and helping Abuela come around to accept santana’s sexuality and realize how beautiful her love for brittany truly is!)

  34. I can’t even acknowledge this episode took place.

    I will say, based on the Sectionals video posted at the end of the recap, that I will defo miss the Troubletones when they inevitably rejoin New Directions. I’m liking everything they do infinitely better than the other stupid Glee club. This probably has to do with the amount of Santana/Brittany we get to see…but still.

  35. More and more, I wish this were a perfect world, where unicorns frolicked in fields of daisies while Heather Morris danced, Lord Tubbington pooped candy, and Pretty Little Liars’ Marlene King was at the helm of, at the very least, the Brittana storyline. Emily and Maya lock lips almost every time they’re on screen.

    • I’ve also been thinking about how comparatively well Pretty Little Liars handles Emily’s storyline, especially when considered alongside this glee catastrophe. unfortunately, i am wayyyyyy more invested in santana and brittana. it’s just masochistic at this point.

  36. I don’t even watch this how but I read your recaps for nuggests of gold like this:”vadge lesbo angry ragefuck womyny feminista powerpuff anger”

    clearly that’s my new twitter username.

  37. Well, as funny and as ragey as this was, the hypocrisy turns this into a FAIL. Sorry sugar tits, you can’t argue that folks have a fundamental right to ownership of their own “coming out” and then attempt to “out” someone, in this case Ms. Estefan.

    Who does, in real life, have a gay daughter, is a long-time LGBT rights supporter, and is one of the few Latin music superstars who has championed LGBT Latin musicians – such as Ricky Martin.

  38. “Rachel casts a leer over at Brittany, heretofore known as Bi-Brittany, ’cause someone’s gotta say it and this show sure won’t — Brittany’s bisexuality, that is. Yup. If it’s Brittany and Santana’s relationship that technically outed both of them, it’s so strange, yet predictable, how invisible she and her story becomes.”

    Thank you for saying that. It’s really bothering me how they think Brittany wouldn’t be affected at all by the revelation to the school that she’s dating Santana. Yes, Brittany’s never exactly hidden the fact that she sleeps with both genders, but come on, it’s one thing for it to just be sex (and therefore, something people can dismiss as “just experimenting”) and a completely different thing to actually get in a relationship with another girl.

    Of course, Ryan Murphy more or less implied with his response to the whole Blaine thing last season that he didn’t think bi kids experience anti-gay bullying, so why am I not surprised?

  39. I don’t even watch this show but I read your recaps for nuggets of gold like this:”vadge lesbo angry ragefuck womyny feminista powerpuff anger”

    clearly that’s my new twitter username.

  40. I’m much more interested in knowing whether your theory about Gloria Estefan is true or just sarcasm? lol

  41. If there was any chance of this stupid show winning me over, it would be the lesbian episode, but all it did was reinforce how horribly written this show is. It’s not only boring, frustratingly inconsistent and dumb, but it’s also offensive and tone-deaf. (Pun not intended, but I’m super clever.) I’ve forgotten to watch the show but I planned ahead to watch this latest episode for Santana’s coming out. I think I’m going to start forgetting again.

  42. “look, i just think trading neck ornaments would make us both look a lot better for NYADA”

    Funny AND true.

    Kurt could rock that pink bow tie and Rachel could use a little dirtying up with that faux rocker studded bandana thingy.

  43. You what even makes this rage-fest I have for this episode even worse?

    In some cruel horrific way it became all about Finn helping Santana and allies like Finn are more important that the gays themselves. In a not even erotic display of masturbatory display of “I’m such a good person for helping the gays”…I can’t even, it’s like a “how to be a good ally/decent person to people different from yourself 101”

  44. Finn’s got the magic marker and scrawls “Lady Music” onto the vision board, announcing to the class that in order for Santana to embrace her identity (not that Santana’s actually displayed a reluctance to do so, she’d just rather do it on her own terms and not on television ’cause Finn OUTED HER), they’ll spend a week demonstrating exactly how men are capable of ruining beautiful things created by women by dedicating the set-list to “Lady Music.” It’s redic enough that “Lady Music” counts as a theme at all, seeing as we clock in at 51% of the population and are well-represented in the World of Music and therefore should be similarly represented in weekly setlists BUT SORRY HERE I GO AGAIN thinking women are real people.

    This just about sums up how I feel about this entire [pick your favorite expletive] episode.

  45. this episode was worse than the screening of Breaking Dawn i just had to endure (although props to twilight, at least it had comic value)

    well, i suppose tumblr would crash – best screencap ever!

    glee is super making me miss rachel berry centric episodes and goddam she needs to put a leash on finn/get a new boyf, eugh.

  46. I tried for about ten minutes to come up with a coherent, reasonable reaction to this episode, i.e. *not* “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK OH NO YOU DIDN’T”. Then I realized that was impossible, because the episode itself is neither coherent nor reasonable. You know what would’ve been?

    a) Finn getting his ass handed to him by his GAY stepbrother for outing Santana, or even threatened with suspension or at least given detention or a stern talking-to by some adult authority figure

    b) one of said adults offering some sort of support to Santana, like the guidance counselor because that’s her JOB…I mean what if her parents had kicked her out? 25-40% of homeless kids are queer, did you know that Ryan Murphy? What if Finn’s oh-so-noble outing had led to that? What if Santana lived with her abuela instead of her parents and no longer had a home? Yes, there are real consequences to outing, even if someone might’ve supposedly “deserved” or “needed” it.

    c) Brittany offering support to Santana who’s supposed to be her girlfriend–or are they still presumed to be in the “friend zone”? See, we don’t even know because the writers don’t show them interact besides a brief clip behind Jacob’s hair, much less have a conversation or GOD FORBID kiss.

    d) Finn expressing any sort of remorse/guilt or any emotion besides smugness and confusion

    e) the characters singing “lady music” to provide all that girl-power-empowerment and self-confidence Santana supposedly needs actually being ladies, not guys

    f) Santana’s parents

    g) really, you picked THAT Katy Perry song to be emblematic of Santana’s attractions or to express how it’s okay to kiss girls *not* just for the attention/attraction of straight boys? really?!

    h) I just give up.

    Hats fucking off to Naya Rivera though. She did the best she possibly could with such awful material, and her delivery in that scene with her grandmother was fantastic. Maybe next time, Glee writers, you should use this actress and her incredible depth as inspiration to write something that doesn’t offend the very people you’re supposedly throwing a supportive bone to.

  47. I definitely noticed all the L Word lines in this episode too! “this (insert negative adjective) world” is like one of Ilene Chaiken’s favorite things to say. It’s like…is there another world we could be talking about?
    I also thought that Finn’s slow, sad version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun was weird, and:

    ‘At the song’s end, Santana throws out, “I told my parents last night, and they were actually okay with it,” and despite the consistent lady-patience and compassion we’ve exhibited throughout Kurt’s 56 Coming Out Episodes, 75 Magic Dates and 5,452 Dad-Son conversations, that’s it. Just that one magical line.’

    YES. I honestly thought that it hadn’t even happened and she must be lying about it because there’s no way something that big could happen without it being on the show.

  48. also. also. also. They don’t support her whoever she wants to be…they support a very specific version of her. The out, happy not angry Santana. I have 3 things to say to that. first, assholes. and second, when the hell has Santana not been angry?? If she’s going to be an angry fiesty latina character (oh hey stereotypes) why wouldn’t she angrily come out? third, go Naya Rivera for acting like a champion through this mess of an episode.

  49. Riese, this was spectacular (and hilarious). All of my feelings in this recap.

    I’m so angry about this episode, and it’s worse because I don’t know how to express my anger to the people who need to hear it (the writers, etc.). Thank god for Autostraddle; it’s good to know other people feel the same way I do.

  50. Honestly, the thing that baffled me the most is that no one, namely the gay one, the one with gay parents or, ahem, the girlfriend, thought that perhaps, Santana isn’t ready to deal with coming out.

    I don’t know if the writer that did this train wreck of an episode is straight or gay so I don’t want to categorize, but man doesn’t this episode reek of close minded, easy life heteronormative DOUCHEBAG. And thing is, Ryan Murphy must have approved of it, who is a gay man and treated Kurt’s coming out with respect. I don’t think I’ve ever hated something fictional so much as I hate this episode.

    Your recap as always, hilarious.

    • oh i assumed that the episode writer was gay. that’s sort of the apex of the issue here — as much as i hate to give this to straight men, they tend to at least acknowledge that girl-business isn’t their territory. that’s why they never really write about women EVER but ANYHOW!

      i assumed it was a gay man because it felt like it was written by someone who clearly didn’t check himself. he’s gay and so therefore whatever he writes will be implicitly gay-friendly. maybe we could call this The Ryan Murphy Syndrome, in which a lot of gay men in Hollywood think they can write lesbians because we’re all queers! But there’s a lot of misogyny under there, etc.

      • I guess I tend to assume that someone who is gay and presumably had to go through the experience of coming out can’t be so out of touch with what the whole thing means to a person and to those around them, whether it is a gay guy or a gay girl.

        But then, if The Ryan Murphy Syndrome exists,, Ali Adler must have caught it as just posted on Twitter this is her ‘#alltimefave’ episode.


        • I think it’s more about the fact that this guy doesn’t have much perspective on his own gay story. Just from the way Kurt is, I would guess there’s a lot of unresolved pain there still. I don’t like to try and infer things about the writer from his creation, but…yeah.

          • Ryan Murphy said that Kurt is based on himself and some situations Kurt has been through are similar to his experiences, so yeah, you can totally link the two!

          • That makes sense. I always wondered why Kurt liked Finn. Ryan Murphy obviously has a super crush on Finn which is why he always gets to be the hero even when he’s being a total douche.

          • I bet he’s the typical one that lived high school through unrequited crushes on football players or something.

  51. Next week on Glee:

    “Don’t worry, guys. I talked to my Abuela again, and now she’s totally fine with it. Now lets go back to not kissing, Brittany!”

  52. I would big spoon diana agron, sing i’m the only one, and comfort idina menzel better than puck. basically what i’m saying is that puck is a bigger lesbian than finn.

    • This episode didn’t just offend me as a lesbian, it offended me as a woman. Perhaps we need an organization that watches out for sexism in the media, because that is what really made me angry about this garbage.

    • Let me write an angry letter attacking a show that in my opinion should have been created 15 yrs ago, so lezbots like me would have been inspired and we could have walk out of the closet sooner.


      *eye roll*

      • Really? You found Santana being ripped out of the closet by some guy she slept with inspiring?

    • Thanks for the GLAAD link. I wrote them a note saying that (paraphrase) a show that strives to be good for queer teens everywhere should know better than to teach allies that if they want to protect their suspected queer friends from suicide the best thing to do is to out them before they’re ready, and not bother to think about how it might affect their safety, their relations with their families, their friends, their partners’ safety, etc. Glee needs to do better than that.

  53. Where is Chris H.D.? Chris H.D., if you are here…I totally get it now. When you used to talk about how Murphy was a misogynist who really can’t write lesbian storylines, I was willing to give him a go…but what you said is so so true. This episode, with another gay male writer, was another example of this.

    I missed 20 mins of this episode because a Geico ad on TimeWarner Cable here in Hawaii froze the screen for 20 mins and all we could hear was the audio. They didn’t even put a message like “Technical difficulties. Please be patient.” I started to suspect that maybe a conservative family council had placed an injunction in court here or something.

  54. Riese,
    I friggin’ love you! Loved you ever since Autostraddle was just a baby straddle.
    Thanks for the “papi” throw back. No matter how I feel I know I can read your articles and laugh.

  55. I haven’t read all the comments so I’m sure I’m just repeating everyone else, but this episode made me SO ANGRY. Like, so angry I eventually just had to get off the internet on Wednesday because I couldn’t read/talk about it at all without feeling that seething anger all over again. I’ve calmed down about it now but I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to watch this episode again.

    The only saving grace was Naya Rivera, who constantly manages to break my heart with her beautiful face even when something ridiculous (like Finn singing GJWTHF to Santana) is happening.

    Also the scene between Santana and her abuela was amazing. It was a little bit jarring, since we’ve never met abuela before and don’t really know anything about her relationship with Santana beyond the few lines Santana says about her in the scene. But in general it was a great scene. Naya killed it, her speech was so fucking true, and abuela’s reaction, while harsh, was something we need to see. Not every kid has a father like Burt Hummel, and those kids who have to deal with unsupportive families deserve to see their story told too. I hope this isn’t the last we see of abuela.

    Last thing, but I am so in love with Sugar Motta. Homegirl is hilarious, I could watch her in the background always and never be bored.

  56. I came into this episode afraid of what they would do with this story.
    Once it was over, I thought, “that could have been so much worse.”
    And even though it could have been, we deserve better.
    We deserve so much better.

  57. the love i have for this recap is incomparable.

    Also, is this the same Grandma who called Santana “Garbage Face” as a child?

    • I was wondering that too, how does Santana have such a close loving relationship with someone who called her “garbage face” and raised her on insults?

      • O….m….g….that’s exactly what I was thinking! I know some people appreciated that scene, but I thought it was contrived….the whole episode was, really. i think i’m more offended at the fact that they didn’t even bother to work out the situation. why out her in the last episode and then try to rush and solve everything in the next? so silly, and unbelievable. Mess!

      • The whole notion of “you can be an adult and be the biggest arsehole in the world but some impressionable kid will admire you anyway”.

  58. At the risk of upsetting people who have such clear and negative feelings about the episode, I thought that there were some genuinely good moments. I’ve def experienced guys telling me that they can fuck the gay away, so I appreciated that they added this (although I could have done without the I kissed a girl follow-up). I also love how Naya kills her coming out speech to her grandmother, she brings so much to the character and I will almost 99% definitely not watch glee once she’s off the show.
    Also, I loved Riese’s description of Santana (and herself) as the razor-tongued slut because that was the way I acted for most of my life.

  59. Yeah I was so so disappointed with this episode. All of that condescending, smug bullshit from Finn and everyone else… When Finn sat down in front of Santana singing “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” I actually felt so humiliated for her I stopped watching for a bit.

    To me, the Santana storyline has always had this edge of doomsday about it. I always sensed that in the end it would become about explaining away or changing her firey, caustic, incredible personality to make her more the sweet, demure woman men seem to often feel so much more comfortable with. The last two episodes have just cemented that belief, until I just feel like I’m watching some strange remake of The Taming of the Shrew. Keep those loud, strong women DOWN and tell them how to be themselves in the way YOU want them to be. They just don’t know what’s good for them.


  60. I’ve now had 72 hours to process, a full recap to consider, 141 (and counting) responses to mull over and some things need to get out. . .

    I did cry during the one bright spot – the Abuelita scene – but see, i have an Abuelita who I haven’t had the balls to have THAT convo with yet because TV Abuelita’s reaction is my exact nightmare of Actual Abuelita’s reaction. In true Hispanic fashion, she NEVER acknowledges (my gayness) at my family holidays – even with my girlfriend of 5 years sitting right next to her. As a result, pretty much anyone could have written that story line and I would have cried. – Naya did nail the hell out of it (“Escuchame, I want you to know me”). So Good!!

    I hated when the rugby captain offered to rape her to make her normal, and the straight Glee girls had to come to her rescue. Like Santana wouldn’t have punched him in the teeth screaming about old creepers doing the same thing to her growing up in Lima Heights??? What??? Oh yeah, ‘cuz then she would have gotten suspended and wouldn’t be able to go to sectionals. Love the commitment to “Only-Storylines-That-Feature-Things-Important-To-Finn.” So bad!!

    Not only was Santana’s storyline butchered . . . But, what does Jane Lynch think of this bullshit?? Or Dot Marie Jones?? I can kinda understand the younger straight actresses who go along with the promotional bs. . . but what about established, out, gay actresses on the show?? So confusing!!

    I was embarrassed during the extreme awkwardness of the Jane/Dot/Cooter arc. What a waste of screen time. . . I truly have been trying to wrap my brain around the fact that Jane/Dot read that particular script and went, “Wow I’m so proud to be a part of TV history with this.” I love “Jolene,” but wtf. So-i-guess-the-economy-really-is-this-bad-even-Jane-Lynch-has-to-stoop-to-this-bull-shit-bad!! (IDK, maybe she got to pick KD Lang’s Constant Craving as the shows wrap-up number – the bullshit doesn’t end).

    Hell, I watch American Horror Story even though (or because – I’ll be honest) it scares the shit out of me, and one things for sure: Ryan Murphy sure loves his boys – gay, straight, young, middle-aged, dead, kinda dead, alive AND definitely white – and has no idea how to write women.

    It’s just lazy and narcissistic. Douche.

    “This shit is crazy” – Actual Marisa (me)

    • HAHA HA HA
      I have no idea what everyone is talking about on a count of never seeing an episode, but shit, this made me laugh pretty hard.

      *“This shit is crazy” – Actual Marisa (me)*

      Kudos, Marisa (You)

    • I just read it as subtext. Big gay ol’ subtext: Sue and Beiste secretly want to bone and that’s why Sue needs a beard!

      I’m on the fence as to whether it was a good use of Dolly Parton.

    • Right when I heard the opening notes I screamed, “OH GOD! THEY’RE ABOUT TO RUIN ONE OF MY FAVE SONGS EVER!” But then it was actually okay, mostly because Dot Jones, in my opinion, is an excellent actress, capable of bringing genuine emotion to even the most absurd, offensive storylines.

  61. This is all I can say with any degree of coherence: I hated this episode. What a disappointment.

    If there was a shred of redemption to be had, it came from Naya Rivera’s beautiful face and Riese’s insightful (as always) recap.

  62. I’m not sure which is more offensive: The fact that Glee actually aired that episode, and probably feels good about their portrayal of “Santana’s storyline.” Or the fact that much (from what I’ve read — although not all) of the heterosexual community thinks this is the “gay agenda.” If it is I need to jump ship now. That episode was cringeworthy. At least Riese’s recap made the after-effects bearable.

  63. I stumbled upon your article after finishing this episode of “Glee”. Though a lot of your commentary had me grinning obnoxiously I do have to bring up one point that frustrated me.

    Before I do that, I need it to be recognized that I am an openly homosexual activist, artist, and actor. My self produced work always has a social activist edge in hopes of raising questions, understanding, and conversations about the GLBT community in a hetero-normative society.

    My frustration with your article exists in this statement:
    “I hope that every girl reading this knows in her deepest hearts of hearts and also in the forefront of her brain that the only way this will ever change is for us to do it for ourselves. Is for women to be the writers, the producers, the CEOs. We are the only ones who know how to tell our own stories. We’re the only ones paying attention.”

    I was raised by an exceptionally strong woman. I am a feminist (and yes, I have a penis!) My problem with your statement is that in your attempt to inspire, you are putting gender roles and gender identity on a pedestal and thus supporting a hetero-normative ideology. By so blatantly stating that “we are the only one’s who know how to tell our stories. We’re the only ones paying attention” you are buying into gender stereotypes created by a heterosexual society and ignoring every transgender or inter sexed individual.

    My entire life I have recognized that I embody more “feminine” traits, emotions, and thought process than a “masculine” one. However, I have the genitalia of a man. I have no desire to change this, because I happen to love my penis, my facial hair, and my low voice.

    As an actor I am able to transform into both gender performances. Because ultimately that is what we all do everyday. We perform gender. It’s a performance, it’s not who we are. We are people. We share stories. We feel. We emote. We live and we die. To say that your story is so different than mine is elitist. To say that you as a “woman” are the only one able to tell a “woman’s” story is a crude attitude that contributes to the problem with society today.

    As a world we are so keen on boxing things in with labels and rules (i.e. “Christian”, “Jewish”, “Boy”, “Girl”, “Gay”, “Straight”) that we don’t recognize the similarities that we share. We don’t see that give or a take a few details we are the same. Just because you have a vagina and love women doesn’t mean that my penis and love for men can’t allow me to write a compelling story about love.

    I recognize the problems with “Glee”. But I continue to come back to it because, ultimately, it is taking a step forward in the right directing. The writing isn’t great. The stories are, by no means, told to their strongest points, and the show rarely has a moment that I buy as “real”. But, with that being said, it is normalizing homosexuality, it is exploring topics that a number of shows don’t, and it is raising awareness in a younger generation so that someday soon the GLBT community doesn’t have to live in fear or create “It Get’s Better” videos for a younger generation.

    Why can’t we celebrate the positive things happening here and move forward as people, instead of boxing ourselves in by gender?

    • Because people keep fucking up and saying damaging things?

      Ryan Murphy and quite a few other gay white cis male celebrities especially. They prove time and time again that they are fuck ups, and the seemingly unanimous support from the gay white cis male community cements this.

      The show has said damaging things here about lesbians and coming out, and in the past about bisexual guys, and does not treat other minorities except for gay men any better. It is normalizing misconceptions and vicious stereotypes that have held the queer community back for decades.

      One step forward, two steps back is not progress.

      I’m not going to even touch your social-constructionist anti-individuality rant, putting people’s identities in scare quotes.

        • Levi, the tone you’ve been employing in your comments is incredibly condescending and borderline insulting. Please don’t come on to a lesbian website you’ve never visited and tell us to “educate ourselves” WITH A LINK after telling us any oppression we may feel as women is simply a result of us “buying into” the gender binary.

          Although this whole convo is REALLY META, that’s for sure.

          • Riese. I apologize if I’ve come across that way. Genuinely. The only person I was intentionally disrespectful to is one that I felt attacked by. Yes, two wrongs don’t make a right. I apologize for that. I should have chosen better wording. And I am not intending on telling you the oppression you feel is a result of buying into the gender binary. What I am suggesting is a solution to the problem you feel. A solution to a problem that a large number of people feel.

            I think it’s better if we all try and educate ourselves more, and read articles from lesbian websites, gay websites, Christian websites because I think we can start to understand and learn so much from each other. Maybe I’m just pissing you all off. Not my intentions. I hoped to to open a dialogue on a different way of thinking about the problem and a solution.

            The link is actually quite a great and interesting read. I hope you find time to check it out. Again apologies for any offenses caused.

          • To clarify: (because I didn’t actually say it in the above statement and I meant to.) I feel like this conversation has benefited me. I’m not sure if I just pissed you all off or if you thought about things potentially differently as well. I was raised by a woman who told me to speak my mind… and so I do. And I learn from people, like you all, and I am open. So thank you.

            Peace. Love.

        • If you wanna accuse me subversivism and “horizontal hostility” (a favorite buzzword of people who don’t like to be told their own marginalization does not render them incapable of bigotry), you can do it to my face instead of hiding behind some stranger’s words that do not actually support your argument.

          And I strongly doubt the author would support you speaking for trans people against people who have always been allies to the trans community, when it was actually you who chose to transphobicly interpret “women” as “cis-women”.

    • I, um…
      Yes, but no.

      We need to tell our own stories and create our own art. Television and film in particular are media saturated with stories about men by men, and stories about women by men. The Writer’s Guild of America says that only 27 percent of film writers and 19 percent of television writers it represents are women.

      And no, suggesting that women need to tell their own stories does not enforce the gender binary and is not cissexist. Even more than women, binary and non-binary trans people and intersex people need to be the ones creating their own stories and representing themselves. Trans and intersex narratives ARE overwhelmingly told by cis people…but that’s not really the failure of this particular episode of Glee.

      You may be able to write a story with layered, strong, sensitively portrayed female characters. But you can’t articulate our lived experiences as well as a woman can just because We’re All Human.

      I appreciate where you’re coming from, but gender-blindness is unhelpful.

      • Thank you for being respectful in your response. I think it is better for us to have a dialogue rather than attack one another.

        First of all, I absolutely understand and agree with you on the majority of your response. I by no means was saying we shouldn’t tell our stories. Hell, I recently wrote a letter to the HRC after a job interview informing them that their scripted canvassing positions would be far more successful if they had individuals sharing their OWN stories, gaining momentum and human connection for the movement as opposed to facts with no name attached to them. Similar to Riese who wrote this original article I responded to, I feel the Jamey Rodemeyer story is a face and a person and a body that people were able to emotionally connect to and start standing up for GLBT rights more.

        I went as far as writing my own one-man show telling my own story. I support individuality and sharing stories so so much.
        My closest friends are women, and I support women telling their own stories.

        My main issue is that I felt that Riese’s article was less about being an individual and telling your own story and more about gender inequality. I recognize and am outraged that women are still paid less than men by every dollar. My mother raised a family of 6 kids on 25,000 a year, whereas a man with her education and background would have been paid quite a bit more. What I’m trying to say in all of this is that if we let our gender be our identity and fight each other, we’ll never win, whereas, if we start to eliminate the foundation (Yes, gender blindness) as well as the stereotypes that go along with these identities, we will start to recognize people not for their sex but for their gifts, talent and individuality.

        • “…if we let our gender be our identity and fight each other, we’ll never win, whereas, if we start to eliminate the foundation (Yes, gender blindness) as well as the stereotypes that go along with these identities, we will start to recognize people not for their sex but for their gifts, talent and individuality.”

          This is a really lovely idea, for sure, and I hope we get there someday! But the world isn’t like that. We’re deconstructing gender every day here, but nobody really cares besides us. Like I said below, we get gender equality first, and then we can start talking about breaking down the gender binary altogether.

          Within our own communities we can fight “to recognize people not for their sex but for their gifts, talent and individuality” — and we do. But the Fox Television Network isn’t there yet. So when we talk about how to get our stories into the MAINSTREAM, we’re gonna talk about it in terms of gender equality.

          And honestly, I think having men and women represented equally behind-the-scenes in the media is perhaps the best first step we can make towards breaking down gender binaries. You might be surprised how much closer we get to your utopia when women’s voices actually become heard.

          (also um, checkyourprivilege)

    • Thanks for the mansplaining, bro. Is it really so hard to believe that as a (presumably white) guy you would never know what it’s like to be a lesbian of color?

      • First of all, I enjoy your username. :) Nice choice. Love that show.

        Secondly, I’m not really sure how to respond to your question. Are you asking me if I can put my mind in that position? Or are you saying that I am unable to?

    • Women hold only 3% of clout positions in mainstream media. 3%. three percent! I’m totally down with allies, and it’s great that you’re a feminist raised by strong women and I hope you’re right there with us supporting us to get our stories told. But right now we gotta get to equal representation of men and women behind-the-scenes. That’s the goal right now. After we do that, I think the conversation you want to have is worth having. But right now, equality is our #1 priority. The rest comes later.


      “you are buying into gender stereotypes created by a heterosexual society and ignoring every transgender or inter sexed individual.”

      I said “woman,” not “cisgender woman.” Transgender women are women.

      Furthermore I agree with novastar’s statement that: “Even more than women, binary and non-binary trans people and intersex people need to be the ones creating their own stories and representing themselves. Trans and intersex narratives ARE overwhelmingly told by cis people.”

      • Alright. I absolutely agree. Kudos to you. I guess I missed the main point in your original article. It came across to me that you were upset with a gay man’s representation of a lesbian character’s story.
        However, if the goal is for equal rights, I absolutely agree. In a perfect world we could just destroy this gender binding foundation and allow for a more gender blind existence. (As I said to Novastar, allowing us to see talent, skill and gifts before sex.) And the only way we can do that is to start raising our kids allowing them to express themselves fully in whatever way they like, despite gender boundaries.

        BUT…I am all for women sharing their stories. I definitely think “Glee” would improve so much if there was a strong female writer on staff. (Because I can’t deal with these incomplete character plots too much longer.)

        Anyway, peace and love.

        • It’s weird how you completely contradict your initial point the more people respond to you…

          • Sorry, no. In fact I think I supported the same basic concept throughout every post unless I agreed or disagreed with someone in which point I acknowledged them.

            I apologize if you missed my point. Here is the gist of me: I support individuality, artistic freedom, and being unique. I am all for everyone sharing their own stories, gifts, talents. However, I do feel it would be better if we stopped boxing people in to certain labels and the harsh standards that go along with them. These certain labels “masculine” “Feminine” “Boy” “Girl” don’t allow us to express ourselves as fully as we could and are extremely binding because there is an expectation with these labels.

            Riese suggests that the way to move forward is to get equal rights for women in the media, etc. This is something I can support because why wouldn’t a woman deserve equal rights and competitive pay to a man? But my suggestion is to start raising kids similar to the article I shared with Tiger Gray in which the pronoun used a the choice of the individual. This ultimately turns the gender binary on it’s head and it loses it’s binding/boxed in power because the gender performance is able to fluctuate more in every individual.

            No contradiction there.

      • Lately, I find myself really agitated by the lack of representation of not only queer women, but women in general in media. I used to be a really proactive feminist and inspired to change the world when I was younger, and then something happened and I moved into a queer friendly area, got a wonderful long term girlfriend, and just basically lived in a happiness bubble and ignored the rest of the horrible war going on around me.

        But now, there’s too much crap going on to ignore and I’m feeling frustrated and wishing that I had chosen a different path in life. I wish I was involved in the media, I wish I went to film school, I wish I was fighting for equal representation instead of making a comfortable living in my secluded life. And then I find myself thinking, well, if it’s too late for me… could I somehow get involved with others who are doing this? Could I help to inspire others to follow this path in the hopes that one day more than 4 out of the past 50 years of Oscar winners for Best Film will be women-centered? This is a serious problem, but I feel like so many people are still unaware of it.

        I don’t have this power, but as a writer, you could reach a whole lot more people. I think it would be fantastic if you could write an article about this very thing that we are all so upset about as a result of this GLEE thing. This is just a friendly suggestion and for all I know, there may have even been an article covering this before.. but I haven’t seen it if there is. Much love Riese, I really enjoy your articles.

        And if you’re not upset yet, you could watch some videos from feministfrequency’s youtube channel and then maybe feel inspired…

        On the Bechdel Test for women in movies:

        On women’s stories in the Oscars:

    • To say that you as a “woman” are the only one able to tell a “woman’s” story is a crude attitude that contributes to the problem with society today.

      This strikes me as ridiculous because, in actuality, the only person who can tell my story — one of unplanned pregnancy, obligatory marriage, latent gayness, divorce, cross-country relocations and lack of healthcare (!) — is me or someone like me. That’s why we’re here. That’s why Autostraddle is here: because no one was telling our story. No one sounded or looked or felt like us, so we just did it for ourselves. Does that kind of initiative upset you? Are you worried you’ll run out of stories to tell if we tell our own?

      Give me such a break, please.

    • I agree with a lot of what you have to say. I’m trans so my comment is going to come from that place, because I think what you’re saying about gender is resonating with me on that basis.

      Excluding gender variance has been a criticism leveled at feminism (women born women only, transsexual empire, etc etc), and sometimes it’s warranted. (there’s a whole school of queer theory that says maybe we shouldn’t even be TRYING to be part of the mainstream because it’s always inherently hostile to us, but for the sake of this we’ll assume we’d like to see ourselves reflected in the culture around us) Your idea of someone being a person first is a thing I hear echoed by many a trans friend and I think it’s a noble thing to strive for.

      As far as if one needs to possess a certain characteristic to create art/fiction about that thing. (only a trans person should write a trans narrative, a white gay man cannot write a latina lesbian) I certainly don’t think so in theory. I find one of the major disconnects in terms of trying to get things to happen about privilege is that to many people it seems like two concepts in opposition: know my pain and acknowledge my struggles versus, but you can never, ever understand me. So, there’s an empathy divide for a lot of people based on that. And I, as a trans person, a mentally ill person, a disabled person etc etc etc WANT artists who are not those things to talk about me and people like me. I want them to try and create characters who are those things. I also think it’s potentially a kind of sexism to assume the majority of women want to tell their story/have a story they feel is worth telling/have the passion to do so/and want to cultivate the skill needed.


      One of the dangers of this kind of thing is that sometimes, when the powerful begin writing about people who are not them, they kinda forget they need those people, too. Recently I read a criticism of X Men First Class that said hey, this whole movie is about civil rights! Great! …except isn’t it a shame that it’s all about white super heroes supposedly rescuing a bunch of people of color the audience never sees. So the point is if a person who is not the thing he (in this case) is writing about forgets to approach his subject with deep thought and research, and also closes out those people who have lived that life, there’s a problem.

      In short, yes I think it’s possible for say, cis people to write about trans people well. But they should not do so at the expense of trans voices. Trans voices, lesbian voices, women’s voices etc already have a very difficult time being heard and those who want to write about us need to be careful to foster inclusion.

      • Ryan Murphy? Really? Is this reference because a hetero normative society would label me as a homosexual male with an opinion?

        In that case, I’m surprised to see you here as well, Margaret Cho. Because just like her, your wit is astounding. Do these references mean anything? No. So why even bother.

        It’s amazing to me how many of you have responded to my comments so negatively. In the short time that I’ve been on this site I have felt very little acceptance or even room for conversation. Because I’m different than you, you’ve chosen to disregard my opinions entirely. (Excluding Tiger Gray and Novastar who chose to respect my opinion while still sharing their own.) Every other comment I have received has a slight edge or blade to it.

        If you want to see the world change and grow, don’t be a walking contradiction. You want equal rights, give equal rights. Speak your mind and be heard, but listen as well. You want to see your stories told, you want to tell your stories, then don’t step on people who want to help you but may have a different idea or approach to attacking the situation. Even if you don’t agree with various ideas and approaches, you can still listen and maybe recognize it for it’s potential value.

        You’re all so angry that you can’t hear anything other than yourself. Even reading the current controversy between Riese and Simon. No one is listening to each other and you’re at a dead lock.

        And, Riese, don’t you dare tell me to “check your privilege” because you don’t know me or where I come from. There are parts of the US where it is considered WORSE to be a “gay man” than a “lesbian” or “lesbian woman of color”. We’ve all got our sob stories, we learn from them, allow them to shape us, try and teach the next generation better, and move on.

        Now I am done with this site because I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall. For the sake of the GLBT movement and women’s rights, I hope that those of you who are so offended by a “gay man” sharing his opinions on this website can learn to see that we’ve all got potential answers and it is through working together that we’ll make the biggest different.

        Peace and Love.

        • Levi, I just read through your whole comment thread, and I have to thank you for sparking an interesting conversation on here. And like you, I must say that I really feel the same way. Riese and a few other people have been willing to re-examine their words and have a conversation, but in large part, the rest seem far too angry to engage in any useful conversation at all.

          I, honestly, missed the real point underneath all of Riese’s original criticism, and one person was able to articulate in a way that made sense. But instead of simply doing that and letting me examine what she had to say, she finished it off by insulting all the men that have commented on this post.

          Really? Is that really the way that everyone on here wants to be thought of? Neither Levi nor myself came to this article with a desire to be right and prove you wrong. We came to have a discussion and find the value in your ideas. And we get criticized for that?

          Why don’t you turn your criticism on all the men who don’t even bother to ask the questions and have the conversation?

          • Damn… You guys have had a tough crowd on this thread. Chin up though! I actually understand your perspective, but…

            One step at a time!

            I suppose Levi’s initial opinion was like a bunch of White kids dressed like The Temptations/Supremes entering a “colored” (I’m Black so I can things like colored and not mean Crayola so don’t attack me) school in 1959 asking them “Why are you so angry?”

            …one step at a time.

            And that was an overly simplified terrible analogy and by no means do I wish to trivialize trans communities or male allies.

        • Honestly, if you’re looking for acceptance on a lesbian website, you might be in the wrong place…

  64. I am SO SO SO glad I didn’t watch this. The recap (absolutely freaking hilarious, props) made it sound bad enough.

  65. Riese, thank you for this review, not just for your hilarious commentary + putting all our feelings into words, but esp. for the serious note at the end. couldn’t have said it better.

  66. I felt the blow of Abuela Lopez’s rejection. I haven’t come out to my abuela either, I probably never will… I know she would probably react in the same way, and I could never live without her in my life. Sadly, homophobia is deeply rooted in Hispanic culture. Naya Rivera is just so hmmm… love her. I LOVE HER!!!

    Other than that, Finn is still a dried up douchebag, and what the hell is up with Kurt’s turtle neck ponchos? He just looked gayer than Clay Aiken’s collection of butt plugs.

    I would like to add this: Britt is a terrible girlfriend. Do you think some jack ass (call it Finn, or rugby s.o.b) is going to make my girlfriend uncomfortable, make her cry or cause her any pain and I am not going to beat him like a fucking pinata? What the hell? Britt sometimes… I have dated dumb pretty girls, but she seems to have blown every dumb lezbot/bichick to shit in the sweepstakes for dumb girl. *sigh*

  67. This is so weird because Finn is a huge a lesbo so why did he mess up the lesbian storyline so badly?

  68. I didn’t see the episode when it aired but now I’m watching it on Hulu, and I’m wondering: does Finn have a crush on Santana or something? I just don’t know how else to interpret that “You were my first and that means something to me” comment.

    • Which is ironic since he declared right after having sex with her that it didn’t mean anything.

      (p.s. I find that a common trend. When Artie was gushing about his first time with Britt to Rachel and Blaine, he was condemning them for being virgins… But he actually broke up with Brittany after they had sex the first time because she didn’t respect him. So. WTF. Continuity fail.)

  69. I think its part of the Glee writers attempt to try and cement the idea that your first time and first person are always something special. Because clearly when you practically sell your “first time” out of spite and jealousy it will definitely always mean something right?

      • Nice one. Especially since there would be such a large pool of suspects to choose from. Rachel, Quinn, Santana, Kurt… so on. it’s definitely plausible

        • Exactly! And Lucy Lawless cameos as the cop investigating his murder, singing her way through interrogations (e.g. “Every Breath You Take” by The Police).

  70. I haven’t read this yet. I’m sure it’s amazing (as always), but I just need to say something. There was not nearly enough sweet lady kisses in this episode. I got so psyched. For nothing. I’m not sure how much longer the Rumor Has It/Someone Like you mashup can hold me over. Guys, why is Ryan Murphy playing with my heart? I may be a lil drunk. #brittana.

  71. I kinda hated this episode to be honest. it was so bad. santana’s speech to her abuela was the most decent and even that was less than great.
    I’m not saying it didn’t feel real, hell it was very familiar, but it was still lame cause she just randomly rejected it for no reason and being afraid of scandal goes exactly against what santana just said she liked about her, how she lived her life and didn’t care about what anyone else thought.

    there’s a lot of headcanon running around about their relationship, and I just wish glee writers would actually stop fucking around. cause they have amazing moments. but there’s one of those for a hundred horrible ones.
    and while I love the rumor has it/ someone like you mash-up and I’ve seen it five hundred billion times, it is not enough. there are glimpses of greatness and that is the show I wanna watch. not the finn and rachel show because I cannot stand their idiocy.

  72. I’m going to tell you that I came across this post because a friend of mine used it to explain to me why he was upset about the episode. And I must say that there are a number of things that you bring up that are valid points, particularly the seeming passing over of any cultural concerns Santana would have as a Latina. And a number of things that are not.

    Let me just say, for starters, Finn didn’t force Santana out of the closet. The campaign ad did. The kid who told his/her dad about Santana being a lesbian could just as easily have heard it somewhere else, it was just a convenient way for the writers to integrate events. Ideally, Finn would have chosen a more private setting to yell at her for being angry all the time, given that his reasoning for it was something she was not comfortable talking about in public. But the WHOLE SCHOOL was already aware of the situation between Brittany and Santana from many, many episodes prior to this one, so the only threat of her being outed at all was coming from a source outside the school. And Finn didn’t force Santana to tell her parents or her grandmother, that was her choice. His actions were an attempt at showing her that there was a group of people in the world who ALREADY knew, and who LOVED her for who she was and would SUPPORT her in the difficult time that was coming. And selfishly trying to get everyone back into the Glee Club. Finn is not perfect. He is not supposed to be perfect. We know this. He’s a kid, he fucks up, he’s learning (slowly, it’s also quite obvious he isn’t the brightest bulb). He gets better, he just needs to be given the time to grow (recall how royally he fucked up with Kurt?) But this show is about life, real life, and sometimes, people get things wrong. He doesn’t use the best language to talk about things, and he doesn’t always act in the best interest of those around him. But who does do those things all the time? And in real life, people have to deal with being forced out of the closet when they didn’t want to be. And so this episode is showing us what that can be like. It’s showing us how there are good things and bad things. And I would think that people might have a better understanding of that concept, especially the people discussing this here.

    We have a lot of missed opportunities to showcase BOTH not-straight relationships in the show. And while this would have been great for showcasing Brittany and Santana, oops, they missed it again. Nothing new. But sucky, nonetheless. They do a lot more with Kurt and Blaine, definitely true, but they also addressed Kurt and Blaine much sooner and more completely than they have Brittany and Santana.

    The idea of “Lady Music” being offensive is just silly. Again, Finn is a kid who is not perfect, he puts things in the best way HE knows how. And I think it’s clear that he didn’t mean music made by women to be commandeered by men, he meant music meant to make or that has, in our culture, made women feel empowered in their identity and presenting someone with those messages. Expecting the writers to just suddenly give him brains and sensitivity to issues he has never been exposed to before is unrealistic. And we all know Schuster turned into the biggest asshat on the planet after his divorce, so we can’t realistically expect him to intervene. Finn is also not the first man to do a cover of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” in that way, and really, it’s not a bad cover, but that’s personal taste. We all know that “I Kissed a Girl” can be a very offensive song. It was a poor choice for the girls to sing together. It was a publicity choice based on popularity. Mistake.

    Do women need a man to tell them what to do? No, of course not. Does this episode seem to be full of a lot of that? Yes. But who else is supposed to be talking to Santana? Rachel? Fat chance. Mercedes? Possibly, but she’s very removed from this whole plotline. Brittany already made her stance clear. Quinn doesn’t seem to give a shit about anyone but herself anymore. And Tina is pretty much not even a character anymore. So where is it going to come from? And in terms of Puck talking to Quinn, again, who is better suited to have that conversation with her? Nobody else in the show is as close to Quinn as Puck is right now.

    Obviously, the teacher/student relationship going on between Puck and whatever Menzel’s character’s name is isn’t something that should be looked at in a good light. And I don’t think the show is making it a good thing. But again, it’s one of those “things that happen in real life that a show about real life is trying to depict for people”.

    Also, I’d just like to point out that you are very strongly critiquing Finn’s character for forcing an identity onto someone who does not want to claim it in that fashion, but you are often doing exactly the same thing throughout the entirety of your post with other characters and celebrities. So check yourself, because there are many wildly offensive things just in your own writing. Just a for instance, you very obviously implied that coming out for Kurt was wildly easy because he is effeminate. That is blatantly untrue and ridiculously offensive. Does that mean that it is easier for a woman to come out if she plays sports and wears boys’ clothes? And, clearly, both coaches are raging lesbians, right? Just because people might be able to guess about someone beforehand does not make the process any easier to the person themselves.

    Also, I think it is unfair to claim that the show has left an incomplete plot line with unaddressed points. The entire show is constantly developing and coming back on itself, it is presumptuous to say that they have left aspects unaddressed when it is unfinished. The whole Brittany-Santana story has been going on since the very first season, and it is only now beginning to ramp up to a central issue. If you give it time, you may find that you are ultimately pleased with the outcome.

    Like real life, not everything is black and white. There are shades of gray, and this show is very good at showing shades of gray. I think that’s the point that most people should keep in mind. If you want everything to be perfect, then don’t expect it to be based in reality at all.

    • >But the WHOLE SCHOOL was already aware of the situation between Brittany and Santana from many, many episodes prior to this one, so the only threat of her being outed at all was coming from a source outside the school.

      Yeah, but that only happened because a student overheard Finn in the hallway. That student obviously didn’t know that Santana was gay, so it can’t be true that the WHOLE SCHOOL knew about it.

      >Finn is also not the first man to do a cover of “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” in that way

      Yeah, Greg Laswell did it first. And apparently Glee stole the cover from him.

      • So it’s a slight exaggeration, but that doesn’t change the fact that the little wannabe reporter made a big stink about it and alerted the school in a much earlier episode. Because the character who told their father is faceless and nameless, we have no way of knowing if this was actually the first time they had heard it or if they were simply reminded.

        Either way, you cannot blame Finn for the actions of others. His mistake was not making it a more private conversation, but that is not what outed her. The actions of the other student are what outed her. And yet, nobody seems to be saying anything about that.

    • “Just a for instance, you very obviously implied that coming out for Kurt was wildly easy because he is effeminate.”

      Um… no I didn’t. I think a theme that was pretty clear throughout is that their experiences were DIFFERENT. All I said was that his experience was UNLIKE Santana’s. The idea of it being “wildly easy” wasn’t my implication, it was your projection, possibly encouraged by the fact that you disliked most of the recap already by that point so were ready to assume the worst of me.

      Not everything is being judged on a scale of “easy” to “hard,” there’s no hierarchy, it’s not quantifiable.

      • “First, Kurt, clearly tired from the sword-fight that resulted in his diagonally damaged sweater-like-thing, chucks his past beliefs and prior personality out the fake window and condescendingly says coming out was hard for him, too. After years of bagging chicks like pixie-sticks, the entire school was shocked/awed by Kurt’s sudden revelation of latent homosexual desire … oh wait. Never mind.”

        If you want to try and tell me that statement is not insulting and does not directly suggest that it was easy for him because of his “clearly gay personality” that made it so everyone already knew, then go right ahead, but I’ll tell you that you’re back-peddling like all hell.

        Of course their experiences are different. Everyone experiences things differently even when they are the same thing. But that does not mean that they do not understand what it is like. A spouse dying is different for everyone. But just because my spouse died of cancer and yours died of a heart attack, I don’t know the loss you are going through? No, I’m pretty sure I do. The same is true for my coming out. It was different from yours, that doesn’t mean I don’t understand the emotions you experienced in the process. And Kurt may not be a lesbian Latina, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a source of support to one who is starting to come out.

        Also, you totally misunderstand me, telling me that I dislike and I think the worst. As a sociologist who has specialized in exactly these kinds of discussions, I find value in the experiences, readings, and thoughts of everyone. I also feel that is important to point out inconsistencies and encourage people to think very carefully about what they claim and write and believe.

        • Oh, hm. Well, that’s not what I meant to say because that’s not true and that’s not how I feel and that’s not what I think. That’s crazy! Why would I think that? It’s really really really not true.

          I think I thought it was so blatantly obvious that you couldn’t compare those two experiences that nobody would ever think to draw that conclusion.

          Maybe in my mind, my emphasis was on the “IT” not the “hard” part. Like IT was hard for me TOO, as if they shared an “IT” that he could commiserate with her about? With Kurt it was already pretty obvious that he was gay (AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT THIS MAKES ANYTHING ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE “EASIER” IF THAT’S NOT ALREADY OBVIOUS) and with Santana it will be a giant surprise to most everybody (AGAIN, NOT QUALIFYING EASY/HARD). It’s just DIFFERENT, they’re just OPPOSITES, and it’s unfortunate that in this entire episode the only person who speaks up about the quality of their own coming out experience ISN’T Santana, it’s Kurt, and his was nothing like hers, so for him to stand up there and tell her he knows how she feels is problematic. Nor does she have any idea how he felt or feels (especially b/c where aftermath is concerned, Santana is way more likely to be the bully than the bullied.) That’s the problem (as explained by bcw, below.)

          That being said, honestly I’m not really positive what I meant, either. I think I was just proud of myself for coming up with “bagging chicks like pixie sticks” and wanted to make a sentence around it.

          The only person’s coming out experience I’m qualified to qualify is my own (which was easy). I don’t think I’m qualified to qualify her experience or Kurt’s.

          So with that being such an implicit element of my worldview and experiences on this earth, as well as our collective awareness that Kurt was bullied out of school for being gay — I guess in the midst of writing this giant recap I wasn’t careful enough with my words in that section. I can’t figure out how else to phrase it so I just deleted the paragraph. When you write 2 articles a day for a year, not every sentence always works right.

          I understand why you read it that way, but I think that’s my fault for phrasing it the way I did rather than my fault for believing something to be true that is not true.

          I’m not backpedaling, but whatever, think whatever you want.

          • Now that makes sense, and I’m glad you clarified. And as you can see from the other commenter, I’m not the only person who picked up on that message. Again, my whole point is to make sure you understand what it is you are arguing for and how it is you are arguing it, not to tell you that you are inherently wrong for feeling and thinking the way you do. I may disagree, and I may feel the need to say why, but that doesn’t mean you are wrong and I am right.

            But when you do mistakenly word things in a way that comes across as offensive in pretty much the same way you are accusing others of being offensive, it makes it hard to accept anything else; it all seems hypocritical. The Kurt issue is not the only instance: labeling Brittany as bisexual despite her own character’s desire to remain without a label, calling out Gloria Estefan as a closeted lesbian with a beard husband. Even if your point is only to be funny, it still goes against everything else you are arguing for, and you might want to reconsider your vehicle of humor.

          • when did brittany ever say she didn’t want a label? The only person who ever said that was santana when she was struggling with her sexuality.

          • You’re right, I misremembered a scene. But she still hasn’t come to terms with her sexuality in any defining way, so why is it any of our place to define it for her?

          • She called herself a “bicorn,” which is essentially Brittany’s queertastic way of labeling herself bisexual.

          • Also, admittedly, “bagging chicks like pixie sticks” is a really funny line, and in a conversation that wasn’t about this, you would probably have had me rolling on the floor in laughter.

        • The focus of the recap’s criticism of this scene, and this entire episode, was about how virtually every element of Santana’s experience was hijacked by privileged white boys who were recentering the discussion on themselves and affording Santana no voice or agency. That was the point. And that is exactly – EXACTLY – what you are repeating here with your comments. Recentering the discussion on Kurt and Finn and their experiences and their characters.

          And while I can understand your reading of the particular wording of that paragraph about Kurt as minimizing his experience, and while I can appreciate that you would take issue with that suggestion (though I don’t believe that was the intention and it could easily be solved with a simple rewording), the point is that once again Santana is not the one speaking. I would have loved to see a heart to heart between the two of them, talking about their respective feelings, Kurt drawing on his own experience as a way to comfort and encourage Santana. But we didn’t get that; we didn’t get them as equal people speaking with equal agency. We got two white boys singing at a woman of color sitting on a chair.

          I think there’s value in Kurt and Blaine expressing solidarity with Santana and reaching out to reassure her that she has allies who understand. That could have been accomplished in a better way, I feel, as this scene was just one more incident of Santana having to sit and listen and be told. And I think that having white men, be they gay or straight, repeatedly sitting a woman of color down and talking/singing at her about her own feelings and experiences is a really specific, loaded, problematic power dynamic and that’s all this episode gave us.

          So please, loud entitled boys on this thread who feel no hesitation in composing multi-paragraph self-congratulatory opuses on a site they are visiting for the first time, please stop making this discussion about you, about the gay boys, about the straight boys, and be self-aware enough to realize that you are exacting on the commenters here precisely what is being so widely criticized about this episode.

          • Now that is a point I can entirely support, and I really don’t feel like I got that idea from anything that Riese said in her original post. And you phrase it like that, I have absolutely nothing to say in opposition to you whatsoever.

            That being said, you don’t need to insult me. Or anyone else. It reduces the value of your words when you resort to that.

      • I have to agree with this part of his argument, actually. I overwhelmingly agreed with the article, honestly, but I was super pressed about that comment about Kurt because yes, it was clearly implying that Santana’s coming out was harder than Kurt’s, and as a lesbian whose queer experience has been way more like Kurt’s, I can tell you that no, it isn’t any fucking easier. It’s hard as hell, because you’re essentially going up to people and telling them “all those horrible things you’ve thought about me? they’re all true.” And when you say that he “condescendingly says coming out was hard for him, too” and go on to talk about how everyone knew he was gay because he gets hit with effemiphobia as well as homophobia, you’re clearly saying that you don’t think it’s as hard for him to come out as it was for Santana.

        Yeah, his coming out experience was different. But somehow implying that it’s less meaningful or difficult for him to come out (and for me to come out, because I’d been getting called a dyke for years before I even thought of myself as liking the ladies) is actually pretty hurtful.

        • I’m sorry that you found it hurtful… :-( that’s not what meant to imply. i am sorry for that.

    • The analysis of Finn not being perfect is fair, but the real problem that is being voiced here is that Glee’s writers ARE writing him to be perfect. If they made him apologize, be humble and supportive instead of leading the march to get Santana to be happy with herself, then yes, all of your points are valid. But every mistake Finn makes, every blunder he makes is painted as being a noble, heroic act. And that is what is wrong with this episode.

      • I don’t think it’s fair to say he’s being written as perfect just because of one episode. He is often corrected and made to be humble. In this episode, his actions have not yet come back as being negative, you are right, but again, the show and this particular storyline in it are far from over. He may not have been called out now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t be later. Personally, the blackmailing was ridiculously low, and should have been addressed. But since I maintain that most of the school already knew about Santana because of the wannabe reporter, his actions were not outing her, and that deserves much less of the negativity that’s being sent his, and the writers’, way.

        • How do you know that this storyline is far from over? Knowing the ability of the glee writers, I won’t be surprised that by the next episode all of this will be in the far distant past never to be mentioned again.

          • Technically, I don’t. But I do feel it is safer to assume that a storyline that has been running for many episodes dating back a whole season is not going to be left without a better resolution than it is to assume that this is the end. It may not be brought up much in the next episode. It may not be brought up in the episode after that, but I have less doubt that it will come up again than I do that it will not.

          • Well, remember Quinn and the baby? It shows that it wasn’t very hard for them to completely forget a storyline, even one of that magnitude. They ignored that Quinn even had a baby until the entire fandom started questioning why the continuity was so bad.. which lead to the trainwreck of a storyline they seem to have pulled out of their ass an entire season after the first season. Not to mention the myriad other loose ends. I’ve lost nearly all faith in the glee writers so you can see why I don’t think Santana’s coming out will be resolved in a satisfactory way.

          • I don’t see how the continuity was bad. She gave the baby up for adoption at the end of a season, then came back to school. Now, this may be the penis in me talking, but isn’t that, theoretically, a closed deal? She wasn’t supposed to have contact with the baby, and other than the possibility of her discussing what it was like, what else was there that was required? Bringing Beth back in this season was just a way to give her character conflict again. And make her seem like a really terrible person.

          • I think a lot of the backlash you’ve been getting has been because as you so eloquently put it, it’s the “penis in [you] talking.” Because seriously, do you honestly as a PERSON believe that the story with Quinn and Beth was over simply because she gave her up for adoption.

            It would be understandable even for Puck to have remaining issues from this storyline. But as a child who carried a baby for 9 months her life was completely and utterly changed. And yes I say child because she was not ready to have that baby. Some girls who get pregnant in high school can and do step up to the challenge of raising a child and they become mothers but Quinn was still a child completely unprepared to deal with giving birth/raising a baby. So yeh, giving her up doesn’t quite end the story there. What about the fact that she most likely would have missed school and would be behind fellow classmates. What about a continued storyline with her mother who banned her from home and then in a single momentary scene welcomes her back and that’s it, all is well again? What about the possibility of Postpartum Depression, which a woman can experience with or without keeping the child. What about the bullying/teasing/backtalking she was possibly subjected to upon return to school. What about the relationship with Puck. I am are we seriously supposed to buy into them right now, they must of had one of those all important “offscreen” moments at the same time as Santana coming out to her parents.

            I could go on here, but after reading some of the threads from your previous “discussions” you claim to be looking for I just honestly don’t see the point. You seem just as unwilling to listen to other people’s views and from your responses you are overly critical of people’s writing. I understand your frustration with often misinterpreted communication, but this is the internet so it is bound to happen and IMO it is more respectful and engaging to question a writer or their intended meaning/thoughts and ask for clarification, rather than attack their words. But thats just me…

        • It may be an exaggeration that he is written to be literally perfect but contrast the end of this episode with his mistakes towards Kurt. With Kurt he acknowledges the mistakes and apologizes, whereas at the end of this episode, we’re left with the impression that he did the right thing and would do it again, that his patronizing and condescending treatment was comparable to tough love.

        • How does “everyone knowing” make it less of an outing? You were just saying that Kurt being effeminate doesn’t make his outing any less difficult. Likewise, people “knowing” via rumor is different from knowing because its been said out loud. Finn was publicly bringing to light Santana’s relationship with Britanny. That’s outing.

    • The campaign ad forced Santana out of the closet to the rest of SE Ohio. Finn’s words to her (shouted down a hallway) outed her to the school. And that outing at the school set into motion her inclusion in the campaign ad.

      I think it’s pretty clear that “Everyone knows” was a statement used by Finn to justify his actions, not one rooted in any real truth. Finn himself, in a line from this episode, says that while people outside of New Directions might react negatively to this new information, he wants Santana to have a safe place in Glee club. The implication is that the WHOLE SCHOOL didn’t, in fact, know. I think it’s important to note that Santana and Brittany’s relationship is a different (though related) issue from Santana’s sexuality. Santana and Brittany are best friends (giving an excuse to most physically affectionate behavior) who have offered to make out in front of guys for a free meal (giving a heteronormative explanation for sexual behavior). While the Glee club members, due to Brittany’s comments (Sex isn’t dating, if it were Santana and I would be dating), Artie’s knowledge that she was cheating on him with Santana, and the performance of Landslide, were gradually made aware of the nature of their relationship, that hardly includes the whole school. Which is why if Finn had so those things to her in private, or even in the more closed environment of the Glee club, there wouldn’t be as big a problem.

      There’s a difference between realistically showing what happens when you can be forced out of the closet and having the person who was forced out of the closet blackmailed by the person who did the forcing and then later THANKING him and hugging him. You mention that we couldn’t expect Schuester to realistically intervene…what about Kurt, who continually REFUSED to out Karofsky despite the fact that he was threatening his life? No one expects Finn to suddenly be full of knowledge about how to handle this situation or to always do the right thing – it’s that the WRITERS miss every opportunity (even breaking with their own characterization)to point out how Finn’s actions were hugely problematic. I personally don’t like “I Kissed A Girl” but as a queer teenager desperately searching for representation who listened to tATU, I can completely understand how it would seem/be appropriate to young women in high school (particularly when most of them are straight and were just accused of being lesbians by a homophobic jackass).

      The frustration with this episode is built around the writers, obvs, because the characters aren’t real. They don’t have to write perfect characters, but people are asking that when something hugely problematic happens, that it be addressed. Particularly when characterization of other members of New Direction makes them perfectly situated to comment on the situation (Kurt and Karofsky, Rachel with two gay fathers – both of whom have close relationships to Finn). They are asking that the writers produce a narrative that doesn’t congratulate someone and crown them with moral superiority for outing someone and then blackmailing them into being the OBJECT lesson of the week.

      • I’m copying in a previous comment in response to this also:

        “So it’s a slight exaggeration, but that doesn’t change the fact that the little wannabe reporter made a big stink about it and alerted the school in a much earlier episode. Because the character who told their father is faceless and nameless, we have no way of knowing if this was actually the first time they had heard it or if they were simply reminded.

        Either way, you cannot blame Finn for the actions of others. His mistake was not making it a more private conversation, but that is not what outed her. The actions of the other student are what outed her. And yet, nobody seems to be saying anything about that.”

        And nobody seems to be remembering the reporter-kid either. Did people get equally mad about that? Just wondering.

        And if you realize that Finn was not actually forcing her out of the closet, then the inaction of the other students makes much more sense.

        Blackmailing her is an issue that he should be called out for, because it’s wrong even when your intentions are good. And I can see how it would be making her an object with the lesson of the week, and that’s not really good either.

        • Are you referring to the Fondue for Two episode in which Brittany said that Santana plays for the other team? It was a stupid plot point for sure, but a) Brittany clarified that she was not referring to Santana’s sexuality in that scene and b) the piece that was written in the newspaper did not refer to Santana by name – in fact, they show Finn reading it aloud to Rachel and her telling him that it was referring to Santana. Again, the only time Santana was explicitly linked to that piece was in the context of two members of Glee club having a private conversation about it. In the show-verse, people outside of Glee club are shown reacting differently to Santana after the ad airs (as she walks through the hallway), which would seem to indicate that most of them had not put two and two together regarding Santana and the newspaper piece. Santana does make a comment about being asked to join the golf team, but other than that there is no indication that most people picked up on what was being communicated.

          Brittany made a statement on Fondue for Two that was interpreted in one way by a school news reporter who published the piece without names. That is VERY different from Finn calling down the middle of the hallway while it is full of students that Santana should “just come out of the closet.” I’m glad you reminded me of that – now I think it’s even sadder that an asshole wannabe news reporter had more respect for Santana’s privacy than Finn did!

          Yes, it is terrible that the other student ran home and told her homophobic uncle and that he included it in his campaign ad. I think the reason they are seeing less backlash is that they are suggested characters – neither has actually been portrayed and they primarily existed as plot devices. People are also more upset because neither of those characters is being THANKED by Santana for blackmailing her into being an object lesson after they outed her.

    • “Do women need a man to tell them what to do? No, of course not. Does this episode seem to be full of a lot of that? Yes. But who else is supposed to be talking to Santana? Rachel? Fat chance. Mercedes? Possibly, but she’s very removed from this whole plotline. Brittany already made her stance clear. Quinn doesn’t seem to give a shit about anyone but herself anymore. And Tina is pretty much not even a character anymore. So where is it going to come from? And in terms of Puck talking to Quinn, again, who is better suited to have that conversation with her? Nobody else in the show is as close to Quinn as Puck is right now.”


      I totally agree. I admit this episode had a lot of White Males offering wisdom, but it’s because who else were they going to talk to?

      It’s one of my biggest quips with Glee. NONE OF THE GIRLS outside of Brittana have friendships.

      Like I’ve never seen a group of women without friends. Mercedes used to have that in Kurt, but he went from being her bestie to Rachel’s best gay.

      Even Finn and Puck had each other coming into the show.

      I can’t even comment on how Quinn would not have ridden the crazy train to the deep dark depths had she had a friend to tell her to #StopIt5 and then hug it out. Like in Bridesmaids. Or any other normal female companionship. But all of these girls are either unfortunate non factor characters or deeply narcissistic. Which is why Faberry the bfflship will happen eventually, but it’s taking forevs because those are the two most self-involved characters in thee world.

      Which is why… SPOILER I’m so happy the Hold On To Sixteen episode reminded why I liked the show, granted it took until the last ten minutes for that to happen. It was nice to see Rachel stoop Quinn’s madness because she loves he like a friend. And the final song made me gush with feelings of legit joy this episode stole from me with all types of rudeness.

  73. reading the comments has been almost as good as reading the recap. you are some funny, funny people, you autostraddlers. my favorites:


    “So does this mean RFM (Ryan F***ing Murphy) is officially a thing now..?” yes please. someone make an rfm twitter

    “I’m officially only watching Glee to follow these recaps (and Kurt’s sweater situation)”

    “Maybe we should call her Rachel Beret instead”

    Northern Eye was especially funny.

    Naya Rivera ftw

  74. I really appreciated this recap. It was nice to have someone articulate all the rage-y feelings I’m having.
    As someone who has been following Santana’s story line while going through the process of coming out myself, it was really disheartening to see how they treated it in this episode. I was pretty invested in it, even though I probably should have known better.

    Having someone who hasn’t dealt with coming out try to pressure you or tell you how easy it is or why it isn’t a big deal is infuriating. And having Santana, the most bad-ass character on the show, roll over and act like they were doing her a favor was like a kick in the face. I guess I’m just really sick of people treating people who are in the closet like liars or fakes or cowards. NOT COOL. RAGE. FEELINGS.

    Anyways, I’m pretty over this show at this point, which is convenient since they appear to have wrapped up the lesbian issue in a tidy little package. But I shall continue to follow the recaps because of their awesomeness.

  75. Riese: you’re writing is so funny it makes me want to hang up my metaphorical quill and stop doing fake stand-up alone in the car. Awesome recap.

  76. Reise…Lima is in north western Ohio…not south eastern Ohio. He outed her to all of north western Ohio. C’mon!

    • BAHHHHH listen, I think he outed her to all of Ohio. I said Southeastern because I was thinking of how we always stop in Lima on our way to Dayton from Ann Arbor (a trip I’ve taken approximately 500 times), which is in Southwestern Ohio, and I’m an idiot who got East and West mixed up. I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON IN MY BRAIN

      Anyhow I didn’t think about it too hard because it’s a congressional race, right? So it’s all of Ohio. It was just sort of an adjective, nbd

      • If it was a Senate race then it would be all of Ohio, but I think it was a House race which means he was running to represent just his district within the state.

        It’s not a big deal, but as a Congressional intern and a huge government nerd I couldn’t let it slide. I’ll go back to watching CSPAN now.

  77. RIESE, you’re a goddess. What a let down. Ryan Murphy needs to get his head out of his ass and stop treating Kurt & Blaine like the golden children of the candyland. THEY got more interaction than Brittany & Santana… Wait, Brittany exists? I wasn’t sure after this episode. Also, Constant Craving definitely had NOTHING to do with Santana because in the final scene she forgot she had a grandmother and that she was a lesbian and that she is dating Brittany and that she has ever craved anything. Like acceptance. Or an on-screen kiss.

    lesbian weeps~
    i think we’re that woman holding the “angry” sign outside of Figgins office a few episodes back.

  78. Does anyone else have a huge problem with the fact that an episode about Santana coming included two references to her having sex with men? Both Puck and Finn felt it necessary to mention that they had slept with her. I mean really? I know you are gay now, so let’s talk about when you weren’t.

    And Finn…so problematic. You feel sorry for her?…you care about her because she slept with you? None of your actions are related to the fact that you actually outed her?!? There is no acknowledgement of the fact that she wouldn’t be in this position of suddenly having to tell her family if it weren’t for Finn. He takes no responsibility and instead is treated like a hero. There are so many other issues…I just can’t…

  79. Wouldn’t it be fantastic/great/hilarious/meta if in next weeks episode of Glee the dude at the beginning who’s like “So here’s what you missed ong Glee…” started reading this WHOLE ENTIRE RECAP????!!!! Yes. I would watch THAT.

  80. although, now that I think about it again, it hasn’t really been great when we’ve had lesbians tell “our” stories – the two biggest trainwrecks being IFC’s TLW and TRLW, and another one off the top of my head that was kind of bad, Lisa Cholodenko’s “The Kids Are Alright.”

    • IFC’s TLW was actually pretty beautiful. I would only consider it to have turned into a trainwreck after season 3 when IFC started making terrible decisions with the characters and their storylines. (Dana’s death, not rehiring Carmen, Jenny and Max, Bette and Tina, Jenny going insane) this was about the time the series jumped the shark for me. Personally, I thought the first two, three seasons were some of the best stuff ever written. As someone living in an oppressive environment, TLW made me proud of my sexuality and I am extremely, extremely thankful for that.

  81. I am super excited about the Troubletones’ I Will Survive/Survivor performance! A commenter at AfterEllen pointed out that the choreography for that number is based on waacking – dance style developed by African-American and Latino drag queens in gay nightclubs and pointed out how is awesome it is that such a style is used by a group fronted by a queer Latina female and an African-American LGBT ally. I am really glad she shared that information! It is moments like that which exemplify how good Glee can be sometimes and highlight our disappointment when it fails to live up to such standards.

    I also love the inclusion of Survivor given that Mercedes and Santana are celebrating their experience with the Troubletones. They felt dragged down with New Directions and the inclusion of this song really highlights how happy they seem to be with the Troubletones and how much they are enjoying themselves. They have been given the chance to step up and demonstrate how awesome they are and it’s great to see.

    • I just hope it’s not about Brittany leaving Santana, based on the lyrics she’s singing

      I know a bit of Mercedes’ sentiment/investment in that song has to do with Sam returning and him wanting her back and her moving on and probably just him being there in general, so.

      • Yeah, I definitely think the I Will Survive parts have to do with that, but as a Destiny’s Child lover I also think it’s awesome that they are doing Survivor, given both the lyrics and the situation that song came out of. As someone who loves the Troubletones, I enjoy seeing Mercedes and Santana celebrate how awesome they are outside of the confines of New Directions.

        I’m excited about Sam pursuing Mercedes, I definitely want to see her be the center of an awesome love triangle.

        I hope it’s not about Brittany leaving Santana either! Since it lacks the super angsty looks and focus of Rumour Has It/Someone Like You I’m thinking the lyrics they are singing don’t have to do with their relationship…though I could be wrong. They just seem like they are having way too much fun for it to be about that!

  82. Is it just me, or is Sugar totally checking out Santana at the end/throughout that number…. I think this show is about to get really interesting! :D

    I kind of really want Artie to have a girlfriend too, he is a great actor and him and Britany were good together.

  83. What is still upsetting me about this, even a week later, is how easy it would have been to write a respectful episode.

    Santana, Finn, Will, and Shelby are in the office; at some point Will tells Santana that while he recognizes she’s angry over what happened, violence is not the appropriate response. Finn intervenes and makes up the story about it being a stage slap.

    Santana asks Finn why he said that; Finn tells her it’s because he wants sectionals to be a fair fight.

    Rachel and Kurt ask Finn about what happened, Finn tells them why Santana slapped him. Rachel and Kurt point out why Finn outing Santana is problematic.

    Finn turns to New Directions in order to find a way to support Santana and show her he regrets his actions. The group comes up with singing their show of support. They turn to Mercedes and Brittany to help. Brittany convinces Santana to come into Glee club by reiterating her “you’re awesome” speeches from earlier episodes. Kurt and Blaine and Puck perform their songs. Santana remains resistant. Finn apologizes to Santana for outing her and performs his song. Santana forgives him and apologizes for her verbal attack on him. (Both apologies are made publicly in front of the other characters.)

    Homophobic guy enters the scene; the Glee women step to Santana’s defense. The straight women perform most of “I Kissed A Girl” with Santana and Brittany as back-up.

    Santana comes out to her grandmother. Her grandmother rejects her. Santana tearfully processes in a private conversation with Brittany. During this conversation she mentions that while her parents accepted it, her grandmother’s acceptance means the most to her.

    Santana thanks Glee club (New Directions and Trouble Tones) for their support. She performs “Constant Craving.” After she’s finished, she and Brittany kiss.

    Dear RIB, that took me less than 10 minutes to come up with. Really, really wasn’t that hard to read over the episode you had and come up with a way to not make it horribly offensive. Even the Finn supporters probably wouldn’t have hated this, since Finn doesn’t have to drip with insincere love for Santana, just acknowledge what he did wrong. Ugh.

  84. Hey, Riese and everyone else, I just wanted to tell you all that after having talked to you here and hearing what you had to say, I approached this week’s episode with an entirely new mindset. And Finn really has become this total White Knight Crusader, and it really is a little disgusting. SO here’s a big thank you to the whole lot of you for helping my own education along a little bit.

  85. Re: Santana’s Abuela

    My dad managed to sit down right before the coming out scene. His theory is that Santana’s Abuela is a lesbian herself and that the “you have strength” speech preceding Santana’s coming out hit a nerve because she didn’t have the strength to come out herself. I like this idea, but that is exactly why I don’t think Glee will take this angle.

  86. It took me over a week to read this re-cap because that’s how much I hated this episode.

    It was just so bad. Probably their worst episode ever. There were so many things wrong with it and Finn wasn’t even the worst even though he was dragging her out of the Flannel closer forreals.

    I can’t even explain it.

    I hated the scene with the grandmother. The actress playing her, I just wasn’t connecting. It felt forced. Disconnected.

    I HATED that Finn thought Santana would KILL HERSELF. Like I get if he felt that way about someone with low self esteem and a sad social life, but Santana????

    New York Magazine said it best:
    “Santana asks Finn why he’s suddenly being so nice to her, and he tells her it’s because he’s afraid she’s going to kill herself for being gay, even though Santana is the least suicidal character since, I don’t know, that Care Bear who is also a lion whose power is being brave in the heart.”


    I don’t know. Everything was just so lackluster and lazy. Like I wanted Brit and Kurt to have a private powwow with Santana, sort of like when Santana stood up for Klaine in the Prom episode. Brit barely spoke!

    Also I was wondering for Riese. Perhaps focus hasn’t been on Britt because I don’t think she needed it. Like for Santana she was recognizing a whole new identity. Whereas I don’t think it was as deep for Britt and that’s real because I know friends who exclusively date women and fluid ones who date who they like who never had a dramatic coming out. Everything was really natural and they had no qualms. Some people are just awesome fairy people who don’t give an eff how you label them or who thinks their whatever or who outs them. They’re just going to do them. Brittany is one of those.

    Also I thougght I would like all of the songs, but I hated them. I Kissed The Girl was the best thing and I hateee that song. But it was a cutesy performance.

    Although I don’t get when people say it’s song written about girls kissing girls for men.

    I always thought it was a song about girls who kissed each other and liked it. Why must we attribute it to men. Because a “straight” girl sings it? Katy Perry is as straight as Russel Brand. They both love each other, but I’m pretty positive they’ve both had naughty dreams about some samed sex fantasy lover. I’m sure everyone has! And deep down… everyone likes it.

  87. While reading the comments above, I repeatedly saw references to Finn outing Santana and how this is the absolute worst thing he could do. I completely agree that it was insensitive of him to out her, period, but I understand why he did it. In the episode before I Kissed a Girl, Finn was tired of Santana’s bitchy quips and wanted to get her back, so he did it in the coldest way possible. He definitely could have picked something else to say, but he wanted to get her back so she would finally shut up about all the stuff she said bout everyone in Glee club. I also adore Santana and am totally rooting for her to end up with Brittany, but let’s be real here. Santana is harsh. I don’t care how hard her life is because she is struggling with her sexuality, that’s really no reason for her to act the way she does. Under no circumstances should she behave that way–whether she is from Lima Heights, struggling with growing up, whatever.

    Then, after Finn outs her, he makes all this effort to make up for it by singing songs to her and covering up the fact she slapped him after the Troubletones mashup. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I thought the whole I Kissed a Girl Episode was a way for the glee writers to quickly resolve the whole thing. There’s so much inconsistency it’s frustrating. And the entire episode was sooooo contrived. I’m sure they had to have Santana thank Finn and glee club for all their support to show that Santana isn’t always a negative nancy, but that was also unrealistic. One minute she’s trashing blaine and kurt’s rendition of Pretty Pretty Please, then Finn’s song softens her. Nuhhh uh! Then she shares with the glee club that her parents were totally ok with it. Huh? When did that even happen?

    There’s some no-no in literature where you cannot resolve a conflict by having the gods intervene or something like that. I cannot remember what it is called for the life of me…feeling so unintelligent right now…but say you were reading this elaborate, action-filled story, and then, bam, the main character wakes up and says, “it was all a dream”, that would be an example of this literary no-no. Or, let’s say a character is about to die but all of a sudden zeus or batman or somebody saves him or her. That’s also a no-no. To some degree Glee did that in this episode. I don’t think we will be revisiting Santana’s outing. There wasn’t really a process to it. Finn and Glee Club helped out her and then solve everything over the course of a few days–in one episode–and that’s it, done! Very frustrating.

    And it’s true, where is Brittana in all of this? I haven’t seen Brittany and Santana interact in a while. Honestly, I don’t think they will be together. Brittany is sweet but too aloof and Santana seems to clearly love girls, Brittany’s just going along for the ride. I hope Santana finds somebody else.

    Any who, those are my thoughts. I enjoyed the recap. Definitely thought-provoking and hilarious! Also enjoyed everyone’s comments. :-)

  88. I like to believe that glee is secretly a commentary on terrible shows that started out good, because no show is legitimately THIS terrible, right? …Right?


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