Wanted: Autostraddle’s 2013 Calendar Girls

Hey there, sexy. Every year, Autostraddle puts together a calendar of 12 super-sexy queer women because, as I’m sure you’ve read in this year’s calendar girl posts: “We make this calendar for you because you all really need to cut it out with your crushes on straight girls, this shit is out of hand, the last thing you need is 12 months of whatever Maxim & FHM come up with. REAL LIVE LESBIANS!”

autostraddle calendar

Well, now it’s your turn. Now is the time to fulfill your lifelong dream of being an Autostraddle calendar girl. You could join the ranks of some pretty hot women, and you get to hang out with photographer Robin Roemer, who, in addition to being wildly talented, is also a total babe. You too can be internet famous and popular on tumblr! Your face/body could eventually be on the walls of lesbians around the world as something to look at longingly and sigh wistfully toward! Yes!

autostraddle lesbian calendar girls robin roemer

If you’re an interested gay lady and will be in Los Angeles between December 7 and December 14, all you have to do is send the following to robin [at] autostraddle dot com:

+ A BRIEF description of yourself and why you’re awesome

+ Your real age

+ Three pictures of yourself

+ You must be over 18!

And then we’ll pick you, and everyone will say, “Oh, look at her, she’s super hot and has really cute hair,” and really, who doesn’t want thousands of gay girls complimenting their hair?

That could be you floating in the pool. Look how much fun they're having!

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Intern Grace

Grace Ellis has been writing and making hack-job graphics for Autostraddle since 2011 and is a co-creator and co-writer of the comic book series Lumberjanes. She is mostly an intern in name only. (Mostly.) She lives in Columbus, Ohio because why anything. Also, she wants to write the Black Widow movie and feels like if she just keeps telling people, eventually she will be allowed to do it. She has a Twitter and a Tumblr, both of which are pretty above average.

Grace has written 89 articles for us.


    • I think the better question is why doesn’t this search come to other cities? Like Toronto? :D Queer Canadian girls are cute to, you know!

      • Um, completely OT, but what’s the queer scene like in Toronto? I’ve been thinking of places that are not in Australia to do my masters degree and Toronto and Vancouver are topping my list right now.

      • YES come to Toronto! It’s only two hours from where I live, while LA is mad far. I’d totally pose for the calendar if Autostraddle came to Toronto.

  1. I will be arriving in LA *exactly* 1 month too late, wah.
    Also, there’s the issue of needing to be pretty enough for someone to want me on their calendar for an entire month.

        • too late i already printed out your thumbnail enhanced it a la csi entered your pupil signature into the database and now i know your mom’s maiden name and your aunt’s social security number, i also printed it out 366 times and pasted it into every tiny daily square of my 2012 calendar. oh and i also made a desktop background on microsoft paint with idiotic little writing on it circa 1999.

  2. Graaaaccceeee…….where you gonna be during that 2nd week in December? In LA? Huh? Huh? Well are ya?

    ‘Cause you should consider this. Really.

      • No. If you wore flannel you’d burn through all the calendars with your sexy and then there would be no calendars which would be really sad.

        • THEN how would you be preped for the end of the world? december 21 2012 ladies… get ready. put on your big girl eschatology panties.

          • In all honesty, I’d rather have the Apocalypse come about by something gay, like all the Right-wingers assume will happen.


    • Haha.. We actually said 21 in past years but had too many people faking their ages. 18 and up people… anyone younger than that is just going to make me feel super old and creepy.

      • i’d like to think that i was one of those people faking my age but alas, i told y’all in the email that I was 21 a few months later. lmfao.

        also robin, you’d make a pretty hot cougar. i mean really. old and creepy, i think not? Old(er) and sexy? WORK IT BOO.

          • Personally I prefer my cougar women to be 55 and up, but you know that’s just me. You know….wisdom and discounts on the bus and at restaurants and shit.


  3. i legitimately would do this because of how good looking i think i am but i’m stuck on the east coast. in the meantime, i’m getting ready for 12…more…calendar…girls. i need a minute.

  4. Damn. Boo for not being able to take leave, a girl in an army uniform would do wonders for this calender. Nothing like a girl in uniform!

    • someone make up a fake early date for this lady to be able to participate and then magically delete this comment so she is none the wiser plz

        • damnit lauren your promptitude has gaffed everything up, my magnificent plans have been laid to waste, you weren’t supposed to check this til later. my life is a hopeless mess now.

          given your malfeasance, submissions are hereby due TOMORROW*

          i hope you win or whatever, i think it might qualify as irony that a self-professed procrastinator shows up on a calendar.

          *i actually have no idea when they are due, you should ask a legitimate, responsible person who 1)actually goes here & 2)who isn’t currently procrastinating the ever-loving shit out of their homework by repeatedly making dumb comments on the internet like yours truly

  5. I so totally want thousands of gay girls complimenting my hair. I am often accused of having awesome hair, and it always makes me happy haha :D

  6. Also, y’all have NO IDEA how my life was made when people in the clubs/at pride parades were so COMFORTABLE complimenting me in PERSON on my fucking awesome ass 12 months of the year afro because they had already salivated over my strands via this website.

    I mean really. Autostraddle helped me to get a lot of ass this year. And I gave full credit to the calendar. Shit. March was a great month.

  7. Darn Australia and being on the other side of the world! Ruining all my life plans (aka doing this).

  8. All of these calendar girls are beautiful. It would be nice, however, to see some representation of the majority of us lesbians that are not 110 pounds with 6 pack abs. Or how about some beautiful butch women? We get enough reinforcement of typical standards of beauty in the mainstream media…it would be great to show the beauty of real women, love handles and all!

    • I’m pretty sure Julie Goldman (April) is (a super hot) butch and I count at least 4 others who are not femme-y. There are also several others who are not as you say “110 pounds with 6 pack abs”. Maybe if you want to see yourself represented you should apply to be a calender girl (that probably sounds snarky but I really don’t mean it to). I also object to your use of the term “real women”. All the calender girls are real women. All women are real women regardless of their body shape.

      • Of course they are real women. I didn’t mean to imply they weren’t. I was suggesting that these women do not represent the majority of women’s bodies in general. The average woman is a size 12/14. These women (mostly) represent the mainstream standard of beauty.

    • You must have missed the video or the posts or the part where I talked about being a proud size 12, being semi-femme, being of color, being disabled, and etc. I have a one and 1/2 pack and I love that shit. Keeps me warm at night. I don’t need washboard abs, I’ve got a fucking laundromat. you know? I’m not the only one who isn’t “110 lbs with six pack abs” either, I mean look at Stacee’s sexy ass. Or Julie. Or Michelle. Or Courtney. We are here. And as this post shows, there’s always room for more people. Just show up and show out and be your awesome self. And if you can’t, post this link on your facebook wall, tumblr, twitter, (insert social site) and encourage people you know to do it. It’s hard putting yourself out there (immortalized in a calendar) when you feel that you are competing against mainstream beauty standards–but those who can find the courage to make that decision, do and will continue to! Viva all body shapes and sizes! Viva all women of all backgrounds!

  9. This is where being from Minnesota and living in England really don’t help me out much. I want gay girls complimenting my hair!

  10. If I could get the confidences, to get a confidence boost. haha I feel like I should switch with someone not in LA now.

  11. would this exclude the lovely ones who are queer but not lesbians? regardless, i can’t go because i live in LA–the other LA. but i was just curious to know. really wish i could apply though. always wanted to be in a calendar full of gaybeans :(

  12. Ha, just realized this was waaaaay too late probably. *smh* Im behind the times apparently.

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