Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide 2012: What We Want

Devin, Intern

Keep It Real

Plantlife Socks

I love this product because it combines two of my favorite things: warmth and grass.

Make Me Over

The “Make Me Over” clitoral vibe by Kandi Burruss is handheld and looks like a compact!

Bluetooth Solar Powered Portable Sound System

Do you know what’s better than snow angels? Lying outside, in the sand, listening to music. For those of you who, like me, cannot wait for winter to be over, this charming trinket should accompany you during the next bathing suit season.

Carrie, Editorial Assistant

Going Places

Kotobuki 2-Tiered Bento Box

I’ve been wanting a bento box ever since Laneia wrote a post about them. Not only are bento boxes adorable, their small compartments are perfect for eclectic weirdo eaters like myself. Why yes I would appreciate a divider to prevent the croutons from mixing with the pomegranate seeds. And aren’t bento boxes the #1 doctor recommended treatment for queer girls prone to wasting money on fast food during their lunch breaks? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s true.

Scratch Personalized World Map Poster

Possibly the creation of a jet-setting gambling addict, the Scratch Personalized World Map lets you scratch off the countries you’ve traveled to lottery ticket-style. Even though there’s no chance of winning money for this scratch-off, but hang it in your apartment to win the awe of visitors who’ll see what a stylish and badass traveler you are.

Daniela, Intern

Special Things Are Special

Lizard Skull Ring in Bronze

I like odd accessories, particularly because I wear a lot of solid colors so I have the flexibility to add anything extra to my outfit without feeling like it’s competing with my clothes. Also, I became fascinated by animal skulls after going to a friend’s house that was decorated with some she found during work related desert field trips. I don’t have anything of the sort, so I’ve been dropping hints about this ring or the Bird Skull Necklace Cluster in Bronze for a while now.

Ahnu Montara Boot in Austral Aura

I kind of fell in love with these boots the second I moved to the Bay Area. I never went hiking in Rhode Island and there are so many places to go here, I feel like my kicks are going to fall apart by the end of the year if I don’t substitute them with some serious business boots. I really like these boots. Not only does Ahnu’s last fit my problematically narrow feet super well, these boots also have a padded ankle collar that makes me want to go to sleep in them. In addition, this style of Ahnu boot has a layer of eVent material that makes them completely waterproof yet breathable — sort of like Goretex in other brands, but minus the excessive sweating. They also have a Vibram sole that gives them phenomenal traction, which I’ll need for running around the mountains, showing off my boots.

Gift Cards

People have this weird aversion to gift cards, but I’m including them here because some of the most thoughtful presents I’ve gotten have been just that. I’ve gotten gift cards accompanied by letters, elaborate stories, and even direct guidelines for their use. I’ve never gotten one that is just kind of “here’s some money” for whatever I choose, but more like “I can’t get you a particular thing, and I know what you really want is to not have to drag your books around, so I’d like to chip in $10 for you to get closer to getting that eReader on Amazon. ¡Feliz Navidad!” Eventually I end up collecting enough cards that whenever I spend them, I end up with a gift that reminds me of more than one person, and I really like that. In fact, this winter I would love to get a gift card for any coffee shop so I can avoid going broke due to my need for caffeine, all while thinking about the rad human who is enabling me this time around. Some people may find it odd, but I think it’s super useful and sweet because it’s like the person is buying me coffee everyday on my way to work, even when they are not around to physically do so. That’s the kind of thoughtful treat I’m talking about.

Chelsey, Intern


Harry Potter Wizards Collection

My mom used to tell me to think very hard on whether something was a want or a need. Now, the Harry Potter Wizard’s Collection definitely falls into the “wants” category, but I feed the need in my bones. The ultimate collection of DVDs and resources and special features and everything wonderful about Harry Potter packed inside a neat, compact box. Sigh.

Cat’s More Like It Dress

What better way to start my descent into cat lady-dom than with this cute dress? I could wear this dress anywhere — work, to get coffee, on a date. The opens are limitless.

Malaika, Contributing Editor

Reading In Our Underwears

High-Waisted Belt from Je Suis Une Femme

I love dresses and t-shirts that masquerade as dresses. From the Je Suis Une Femme line, this high-waisted belt is perfect for turning otherwise ordinary dresses and long t-shirts into stylish, quirky works of art. Designer Nicola Inman handcrafts each belt herself, so no two belts are the same. As an added bonus, whoever buys this belt for me will be supporting a queer artist, just sayin’.

Hark! A Vagrant

Kate Beaton is this great Canadian comic I discovered last year while writing a research paper on comic book adaptations of Macbeth. Instead of finishing my paper in a timely fashion like the good student I try to be, I spent hours on her website browsing through her historical comics. I never knew Canadian history could be so funny and entertaining. When I found out her website also comes in book form, I knew I had to get my hands on a hard copy of Hark! A Vagrant! the book! But I still haven’t bought it yet, so if someone would like to get it for me that would be great.


If I didn’t have responsibilities, I would probably end up spending all my money on books, bras, and plane tickets. When I first read about the Lingerie Lesbian here on Autostraddle, I fell in love. Words can’t describe how happy I am that there’s another lesbian on the internet who loves lingerie as much as I do. Words also can’t describe how much I want the Vero Moda bra and underwear set she advertised on her blog.

Vanessa, Contributing Editor

Signature Floral Prints


The FitBit is the kind of thing that should totally not be necessary in my ongoing quest to become a regular enthusiastic gym-goer, but I’ve convinced myself that if I don’t get it I’ll never run a 10k. It makes no sense and I know this, which is why I could never buy it for myself but I do really want it. It’s so cool! You wear it on your bra or your belt or in your pocket, and it tracks your exercise and your sleep cycle and your meals and it can sync everything up on your computer or on the app! And and and — you can have competitions with other FitBit users! I mean actually it’s all I can do to just put one foot in front of the other when I go running, but I like the idea of one day holding FitBit competitions with the whole Straddleverse.

Every single product on Printstagram

Since I joined Instagram in April, I’ve been searching for the perfect way to print my little digital square images. As a photographer and film enthusiast, I’m always sort of bemoaning how nothing is tangible anymore and how I miss the darkroom and how one day technology is going to fail us and then where will all our memories go? (Yes, I’m dramatic, but yes, I’ve suffered hard drive failure with no backup, so.) After a lot of research, it’s become clear to me that Printstagram is the best service for printing Instagram images. You can get a memory box filled with every Instagram photo you’ve ever taken, or you can make a poster of 50-400 images, or you could make a cute Polaroid-esque business card, OR YOU COULD MAKE A TINY BOOK THAT HAS A MAGNET IN IT AND CAN STICK TO YOUR FRIDGE. A TINY BOOK, PEOPLE. I’m, um, a little bit excited about that last option.

No one can really buy this for me as part of the joy is choosing your own shit, but I’m hoping the people behind Printstagram will see this post and realize they should make gift certificates for next year. Think of the possibilities!

Floral Print Dresses

I used to be really afraid of online shopping but then I met ModCloth and now I think I have to get over my fear because they have an entire section devoted to floral print dresses. If you’ve stalked me sufficiently you may know I have a “penchant for floral print dresses” and actually my Autostraddle username is “floralprintdress” because back in the day I was trying to be secretive and anonymous lest my mother ever Google me and find all my comments about how hot Sarah Croce is. But back to my point: If it’s floral print, I’ll buy it. I’ve been dying for a new dress for New Year’s Eve, but there’s a 95% chance that I’ll be staying in with my girlfriend and falling asleep by 12:05am, so I can’t really justify the purchase. That rational perspective doesn’t stop me from actively wanting every single floral print dress featured on ModCloth, particularly this one, this one, and this one.

Runner Ups / Things I’ll Probably Buy Myself Come January: the perfect rug (I need to find it before I can buy it but winter is making my wood bedroom floor mighty chilly), iPhone gloves, and a Moleskine Planner preferably featuring Le Petit Prince.

 Next Up: power tools, bow ties and more vibrators!

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  1. I’d just like to say Kenzie wins. Because John Green (and his brother) definitely seem to be cool guys and that book is kinda obviously based around a real person, Animal onesies are never a bad thing and nor is another way to open beer.

  2. 1. Brittani wins all the things.
    2. I forgot to write my gift guide but if I had it would have had MORE animal onesies on it.
    3. Possibly Steven Madden should consider a marketing campaign targeting lesbians? I think that could be a thing. They should partner with a REALLY COOL QUEER LADY WEBSITE ok bye.

    • I want the record to show that I featured the Steve Madden Troopa boot back in the Boots 101 Guide and you people just all want to be me.

      • i mean my gf bought these for me for chanukah (she hasn’t given them to me yet but i know that’s what i’m getting) so yes, yes i vote this is true, TELL ME ALL YOUR SECRETS LIZZ

  3. I bought myself a pair of noise-cancelling headphones for train rides but it turns out they make some people (including me) really nauseous. So that happened?

  4. I was waiting for a gift guide for your girlfriendnotgirlfriendwhateverwhatdoyougetforthecutegirlwholikesyou. THANKS! Although I think I already got most of the things I was planning to get.

  5. how glad am i that the scratch-off world map is in my life and has made shopping for my roommate and brother 1000x easier.

    also: pet. bowties. my life is complete, everybody gets one.

  6. I ordered a Rainbow In My Room for a friend! I’m worried because it had a lot of bad reviews. Also one of the websites said it was good for girls and woman and obviously all people should have rainbows in their rooms, so.

    But I got a pair of $165 oxfords for $19.99 at the same time so who the fuck cares really?

  7. I have the Steve Madden Troopa boots and they are so fantastic and I love them to death BUT they are terrible quality. I’m on my second pair, and on both pairs the stitching started to rip within weeks/months. :( Does anyone have any suggestions for a lovely, high-quality pair of queer boots?

  8. Sweet baby Jesus, I almost had a heart attack when I saw Sarah’s list, thinking “‘HERE LIES THE HEART’ IS BACK IN PRINT?! WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME??!! HAVE I BEEN BAD, SANTA?!?1″ But alas…

    Then all the cat sweaters calmed me down.

  9. Laneia I just bought both of those exact pairs of boots like two weeks ago! I’m unreasonably excited that we have the same taste in footwear.

  10. the royal tenenbaums criterion collection is so so so fantastic if solely for the illustrations inside the dvd case.

  11. 1.that death star tea strainer combines my love of tea and star wars. I had no idea that was possible.
    2.royal tenenbaums is my favorite movie of all time. I went as margot last year for halloween.
    3.this list was amazing. I want all the things!!!

  12. Truth be told those headlamps are THE BEST THING EVER. Even if they look doofy, you’d better believe everyone will ask to borrow it for camping trips.

    And I think “Moonrise Kingdom” is higher on my list of Wes Anderson movies, simply because that boy is the cutest lesbian I’ve ever seen.

  13. I’m getting my partner a Foucault text, sparkly red nail polish with the minimum possible amount of toxic stuff in it, massage oil, and a ceramic bowl I painted while on a club outing for my campus’ trans*/genderqueer/gender questioning group. She’s ordering me a shirt from Saint Harridan. The holidays are good.

    • aaaaand that gravatar is why I should pay attention and not use my official work address to comment on blogs. I swear I’m not actually a large man in a flannie.

  14. Lizz…I’ve got a Robbins 7th ed. I carried it back from oz. I don’t think you need it for the boards…but…you can have it for the price of a coffee.

  15. wrt the skateboard I do have a penny and they are great I got the purple, green and yellow one and am I the only one who wants a dinosaur onesie?

  16. I’m pretty amused that truffle oil and a sharp knife are on this list, as they are on my list as well. :D

  17. “They also aren’t a brand name, so no worries of mixing Adidas socks with your Nike shoes or vice versa. I know you might not care about that kind of thing but I, like most black people, do.”

    aaahhhh ahhahahahaha <— me laughing out loud for several minutes.

    i am also a hard person to shop for because my answer to "what do you want for christmas?" is "$25 so i can get my hair cut" or "socks".

  18. also laura has been asking for a cordless drill for like 5 years now SOMEONE GET THE WOMAN A CORDLESS DRILL

  19. Hold the phone. Sorry, Lizz, but I burst out laughing with your textbook request: “This is like a really expensive textbook. No, seriously, it’s like $150 and it’s even expensive used.” I keep forgetting how friggin’ cheap books are in the States. Honey, $150 is cheap for a Canadian textbook. Any science textbook here is like $200+ easily, and medical books are probably above that. So, I’m going to scoff and giggle, and resume reading this list.

  20. Vanessa’s a big fan of Prinstagram because she’s a photographer; ergo, she has hundreds of Instagram photos. I, on the other hand, take random pictures (mostly of Seahawks related things) so Printstagram doesn’t really work for me because they require a large amount of photos at a time. Therefore, I highly recommend Snapstagram ( You can get 12 photos for 6 bucks. I supported them on Kickstarter back in the day and the continue to grow (now offering canvas prints). So, if you want to print a photo of the Seahawks punter sitting on top of another player, from the opposing team, who is lying face down on the turf, Snapstagram is perfect for you.

  21. Brittani, I am with you. The only thing I really truly NEED (and not want, NEEEEEEED) for Christmas is a strip tease. Sadly, I am not likely to get one either.

    • ….but if I DO by some miracle get my perfect Christmas present, I will pray to Santa, Jesus, and the Maccabees forever and ever, world without end, Amen.

      • ya Brittani is not getting a strip tease or a Brita filter this year either…but like any good grad student I put everything off until the last minute (including Kwanzaa shopping) so hopefully I have a really epic idea ASAP.

  22. Last Christmas I got my Dad a brewing kit similar to the one Ali listed and he insisted on telling everyone I bought him a meth lab! Thanks for that reminder. Truly! I needed the laugh.

  23. Thanks, beauties, for buying “How I Role” — much appreciated! I also wanted to add for those who have been inquiring – you can get a signed hard copy, too! Contact me on fb, twitter, or [email protected] and we’ll get it out in a jiffy! HAPPY 12-12-12!!!!

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