The Comment Awards Sleeps With No Eyes Open

This week I found myself in a part of this city we call San Francisco that I know nothing about and never visit. I ate lunch at a delicious little whole-in-the-wall diner called Tito’s Cable Car Diner, which is weird because it isn’t located on, or even near, a street in San Fran with a cable car and also it is run by a guy not named Tito. But all of that misinformation is forgiven because the food was amazing and the sweetest old man sat next to me and talked to me about birds. It was a lovely experience really.

Other lovely experiences this week include our old cat FINALLY accepting our new cat in the form of head nudges and belly showing, binge-watching Grace and Frankie and Autostraddle dot com.

Speaking of Autostraddle… Stef found some ridiculous tabloid headlines and Stef-ed them up as only Stef can do.

Carolyn speculates on the sex toys perhaps utilized by your favorite television queer folks. You’ll be surprised at what you learn about yourself on this one.

Orange is the New Black comes out SO soon. Like right after A-Camp. I wonder if Heather can somehow work out pre-screening at Camp. HEATHERRRRR!

My wife just read The Price of Salt and really identifies with Gabrielle’s take on things.

The Editors answered all of the questions.

In a not-so-veiled attempted to win my undying love and affection, Tegan and Sara’s new music videos feature cute dogs.

Also Geena Davis! And Comments!

On The True Price of Salt: On the Book that Became “Carol”:

The Clitionary Award to Cazz and Lex:


On Listling With Minimal Commentary: 39 Completely Context-Free Tabloid Headlines:

The That’s What She Said Award to Hattie:


On Pop Culture Fix: Kristen Stewart’s Favorite Words are “Dude” and “F-ck”:

The Jane Says Award to queer girl:


On Brianna Hildebrand has a Girlfriend: “Deadpool” Actress Is Out on Twitter, NBD:

The Can’t Stop Won’t Stop Award to queer girl:

queer girl onion

The MVP Award to Chloe:


On No Filter: Rhea Butcher Crashes The Rockford Peaches Reunion:

The Regina Phalange Award to Brianna:


On Boob(s On Your) Tube: “Orphan Black” Wonders Who’s The Science Now, Bitch?:

The Priorities Award to Charlotte:


On Orange Is the New Black’s Season Four Trailer is Dark and Full of Secrets:

The Orange is the New Dissertation Award to Tessa:


On Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us #8:

The Butch Please Award to monae:


On Also.Also.Also: Lesbian Kicked Out of Prom for Wearing a Tux and Other Wait, What the F*ck?:

The 11th Commandment Award to S Casey:


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Bren has written 80 articles for us.


    • To be honest, I had three more in the list for queer girl, but I limited myself. What would the comment awards be without queer girl!

      • we should figure out when her birthday is and have her sweep the comment awards that week. in lieu of fancy hat.

      • Probably your limit was a good choice, otherwise this section needed a change of name, at least this week, to Queer Girl Awards

    • You guysss I am on a family vacation with a bigoted cousin I have been instructed not to “upset” by mentioning my girlfriend or, like, my life, but this just made literally EVERYTHING better. All the ???

      • You’re just a beautiful human being, because if I got those instructions all my conversations would begin with my life, my girlfriend and I would also add for sure some tidbits of information about our favorite sexual positions and sex toys.

  1. Um queer girl that’s probably a knife or collapsible baton not charm which is opposite of charm. For most people, but it’s not like I’m judging or anything because…reasons.

  2. I came say I’m glad I didn’t try to talk about the Lesbiapan in pirate speak, but got derailed by my mind with latent Black Widow/lethal lady magic rabbit den thing and feels matrix.
    Who watched CA: Civil War, me.
    Who needs more Black Widow in the MCU with Russos at the helm? Meeeee.

  3. I don’t want her to identify herself if she’s not comfortable, but I am going to be bummed if I get through all of A-camp without shaking queer girl’s hand.

    • PS ** backtracks from assuming pronouns, the person known as queer girl on the internet

      • You GUYS you are pretty much making my year just in this thread. Seriously. You have no idea.

        Thanks for not assuming Shane! Lol. It’s she/her

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