The Comment Awards Are Eating Your Waffles

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OH. MY. GOODNESS. I went to the redwoods and while I was gone, you all did me proud by commenting so much my browser had trouble loading the Comment Awards when I got back! You all are perfect miracles. Let’s move to Oregon together.

This week, Kayla wrote something very important about Charlize Theron’s coats from Atomic Blonde.

Erin won a bet with Mitch McConnell, a melting candle of a lawmaker who now owes her at least one Lesbian Vampire tampon case.

You all went on vacation in the latest Community Gallery!

Faith is amazing, this is amazing: Top 8 TV Moms To U-Haul With Right Now.

So how did you celebrate #NationalGirlfriendDay?

I relate to this on every level. Especially the floor-level.

Kristen Stewart doesn’t want to just eat grilled cheese. (Unrelated, but if you told me that Stella Maxwell’s face was a literal grilled cheese sandwich, I wouldn’t be able to correct you. WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE? Stef’s been no help.)

And then there were your comments!


On Every Coat Worn By Charlize Theron in “Atomic Blonde,” Ranked:

The Stacey and Clinton Award to Chandra:

But remember: wearing a blood-spattered white raincoat after Labour Day is a fashion faux pas.

On Grease Bats: Gold Star Slut:

The Summer Lovin’ Award to Kit, Kris H, and Mey:

HOT DATES AND CASUAL COCAINE WHY CANT I BUY MERCHANDISE WITH LOGOS LIKE THIS IM NOT MAD IM EXCITED

On Take Our New Updated Autostraddle House of Style Survey!

The Star-Sixty-Nine Award to Caitlin:

*Survey monkey slider is slid over to the Femme side until it's resting on number 69.* Caitlin: Snickers

On Y’All Need Help #7: On Gently Obliterating Hearts:

The Soup’s Up Award to Charlotte:

After three (3) paragraphs of soup metaphors: “In other words, no relationship is perfect” ILY Laneia

On Top 8 TV Moms To U-Haul With Right Now:

The Commitment(s) Award to amidola:

Mrs.S We’d go for steak dinner in flannel overshirts and end up uhauling in a drafty trailer when, for some inexplicable reason, we’d have to get the hell out of dodge with her 15 identical (and one not) children and four magical grandkids.

On Here’s Who Got #NationalGirlfriendDay Right On Twitter:

The Sk8er Girl Award to Carmen SanDiego:

Hey hey you you I don’t like your (wrong use of the word) girlfriend. No way no way I think you need a new use. Hey hey K Stew I could be your girlfriend

The Waffles Award to Raquel:

GALENTINES DAY IS OURS NOW

On Be Your Own Dream Daddy in the Dad Dating Simulator of All Our Dreams:

The Mind Saying No, Heart Saying Yes Award to Emily:

I went into this article 100% expecting it to be #fakenews and it’s real and I can’t believe it. I’m so tempted and so confused.

And on Also.Also.Also: Throw All Your Homophobic Bulleit Bourbon in a River I Guess and Other Stories You Can’t Miss:

The Blended Canadian Award to AnnieStinkle:

I’m just glad the story wasn’t about my favorite Pendleton whisky. You might say it was a… Bulleit dodged.


See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!

Queer Girl is your number one fan. She's a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of her Gay Agenda. She's working on a children's book, she's on Twitter, and she thinks you should drink more water! She also wants to make you laugh.

queer has written 94 articles for us.

231 Comments

  1. Remember when the Comment Awards used to only get like 4 comments?

    In all seriousness though, I’ve had a rough couple of weeks, and this tiny little corner of the Internet has been one of my few happy places. So thank you guys <3

  2. ok, so I did witnessed several food fights and I’ve been waiting for this (it could be a meh debate or the beginning of WWIII):

    C O F F E E

    So, let’s see:

    – why do people call barista the person behind the counter? Do you call a waitress/waiter Sommelier just because they served you wine?

    – what the hell is a coffee snob? A person who can order a bunch of crap with a simple cup of coffee? I considered myself a coffee snob and I can’t even look at a Nespresso machine because for me it’s a sacrilege. By the way, the crap added only tries to hide the fucking burnt coffee.

    – the only time you should get a plastic cup is in a “to go” situation. This means that, IF I SIT IN THE FUCKING PLACE I SHOULD ALWAYS GET A REAL, HONEST TO GOD, CUP!!!!!!!!!!!

    End of rant.

    • As long as my coffee is good and hot I don’t care who serves it, where it comes from, or what it’s served in (though preferably some kind of cup 😛 ) Just don’t tell me I’m poisoning my body by drinking it! I’m looking at you girl who doesn’t like me at work *grumble*

          • My mother has recently become a vegan and now it’s all she talks about. I mean, we could be having a conversation about the car’s need for a new set of tires and she will find a way to bring it back to veganism.
            I shudder at the thought of her becoming a born-again Christian.
            Or a marathon runner!

          • I think black coffee would be vegan. Or coffee with soy milk or other non-dairy creamer. But I guess because caffeine is a stimulant it’s a drug. She’s anti-alcohol, also. She’s just one of those people who finds fault with EVERYTHING and it’s annoying as hell! I’m a good person, damn it. I just happen to like coffee and alcohol and meat!

    • In the immortal words of the great philosopher David Grohl: I’ve got another confession to make.
      I don’t drink coffee.
      Shocking I know, I’m a bad Brazilian. I don’t drink coffee or beer, I don’t like the beach and I can’t dance. If I didn’t love soccer they would probably strip me of my citizenship

    • – Barista: good question. I don’t know why they’re called that
      – people are proud of being coffee snobs! It’s like they are a sommelier of coffee, or those people really into beer and micro-breweries stuff
      – as a business person connected hospitality industry: because then you need a busser to collect the cups and a dishwasher to wash them. It increases your labor costs and all things associated with it. It’s cheaper to just throw away paper cups.

  3. Speaking of not knowing what Stella Maxwell looks like: I saw a Victoria’s Secret commercial the other day that had some blonde girl in it and I asked my parents if that was Kristen Stewart’s girlfriend bc, for some reason unknown to me, I thought they would know. But my dad said he didn’t know K Stew was a lesbian and my mom said she didn’t even know who K Stew was. I’m not sure that they’re my real parents tbh

  4. Thank you so much! So happy I got to Mrs.S first (in the comment thread).
    Sorry for not participating much, but I spontaneously ended up at Amsterdam Pride this weekend, so I’m sending you this larger than life Diva to say Hi!

    Have a good weekend everyone!

  5. Whenever I see a post with an unusually high comment count and it’s not a biphobic flame war, MRA trolls, Christo-fascist dancing hotdogs or a 2011 timewarp, I assume it must be a bunch of people getting really angry about waiting ages for the bathroom because people are having sex in it.

    I’m beyond delighted that in this case, it’s because of the important work of recasting Friend Green Tomatoes, with a minor diversion into mythical beast sex.

    One could argue that Fried Green Tomatoes (which I’ve never fully seen; disown me now) doesn’t really need a remake. I’d rather save that for incredibly straight films that could use some serious queering.

    Brittani Nichols as Indiana Jones?

    Or KStew and Amandla Steinberg in Grease? (who cares if they can sing)

    Or why not combine the recasting and the mythical creatures threads, with a remake of Harry Harryhausen-era Sinbad films featuring Cara Delevagina and a harem of stop-motion harpies?

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