The Comment Awards Are Sex Benching

"Hey, did you see that comment?"

Sex Benching is the new Glove Lunching, didn’t you know?

Friends! Pals. Lights of my life! Next week is A-Camp, and I am freaking out! If you’re going to camp, and you’re freaking out, I’m here for you; also if you’re NOT going to camp, and freaking out about THAT, I am absolutely here for you! At this time, I’m going to go ahead and ask you to remind me that I cannot buy another jean jacket, I do not have the MONEY for a jean jacket, please and thank you! I can’t wait to see some of you on the mountain in the valley, and I can’t wait to return to all of the rest of you the following week!

Anyway! This week, Reneice made Pride cookies.

Molly reviewed Kristen Arnett’s Mostly Dead Things, the book I would absolutely be reading at camp if I ever had time to read at camp.

Taylor wrote about hunting as a black, queer woman of color.

Courtney wants you to go on a casual date!

It’s nearly June – want to host a Pride meet-up in your city for Autostraddle dot com?

Anon reviewed the Womanizer, which apparently remains – to this day! – the best sex toy with the worst name.

Valerie Anne (hilariously) reviewed The Perfection, the most bananas horror movie I have ever seen, that also happens to be queer!

THIS SERIES IS A LOT AND I LOVE IT: YES NO MAYBE: Intergalactic Aliens and Magical Dildos.

And then there were your comments!


On Femme Brûlée: Rainbow Sugar Cookies:

The First Responder Award to Katie:

no cops at pride just a group of queers eating the thousands of these cookies that I brought from home

On “To L and Back” L Word Podcast Episode 108: L’Ennui:

The Neutral Milk Hotel Award to thatottergirl:

I have to admit that I am neutral (hot) milk (hotel?) having ordered a caramel or lavender steamer in my day, but also not a fan of the whole milk film thing on top. Also, I am so sorry, but The Gift of the Magi is the literary equivalent of ”This is why we can’t have nice things” and I do not approve. It is a story about a couple who need to communicate and coordinate their gift-giving better.

On Chill or Be Chilled: 10 First Date Ideas for When You Want to Keep It Casual:

The Early Admission Award to Caitlin:

now accepting applications for a summer fling to work through this list with i’m v personable and have lots of cool facts about space

On Janelle Monáe Is This Week’s Modern LGBTQ Trailerblazer #WCW:

The Extra Strength Award to Amanda ling:

For a second I thought sponsored meant Janelle Monáe had paid for this article herself and just about lost my shit at how perfectly extra that would have been!!

And on BREAKING: Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson Bought a Sex Bench, Excuse Me, Coming Through!!

The Warm, Hard Facts Award to Julie, Kristana, and Deor:

the fact checker in me would also like to point out that all we see is the box, and it could be a box used to transport something entirely innocuous. But the lesbian in me is now picturing them using it and if you’ll excuse me for a minute…

And the Paparazzi Is Dead / Long Live the Paparazzi Award to Blackmar and Laura:

1. Fuck the paparazzi. 2. These are the greatest paparazzi photographs of all time.

And the Try It Award to Snaelle:

<a class='bp-suggestions-mention' href='https://www.autostraddle.com/members/floralprintdress/' rel='nofollow'>@floralprintdress</a> if you need help moving that bench into your place for the review, dm me.


See a comment that needs to be here? @ me! I’m [at] queergirl on Autostraddle and [at] queergirlblogs on Twitter.

Queer Girl is your number one fan. She's a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of her Gay Agenda. She's working on a children's book, she's on Twitter, and she thinks you should drink more water! She also wants to make you laugh.

queer has written 133 articles for us.

36 Comments

  1. If anyone ever tries to downplay my achievements in life, I’ll simply point out that I once got 44 thumbs up on a comment on autostraddle dot com, the greatest website on the planet, which clearly means I am also great.

  2. Thank you for that headline my brain is hilariously trying figure out how to turn one human bench pressing another human into a sex act.

    …I think I just figured it out and it would require a sub that enjoys being commanded to stay still while being very distracted. >D

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