The Comment Awards Are Sex Benching

"Hey, did you see that comment?"

Sex Benching is the new Glove Lunching, didn’t you know?

Friends! Pals. Lights of my life! Next week is A-Camp, and I am freaking out! If you’re going to camp, and you’re freaking out, I’m here for you; also if you’re NOT going to camp, and freaking out about THAT, I am absolutely here for you! At this time, I’m going to go ahead and ask you to remind me that I cannot buy another jean jacket, I do not have the MONEY for a jean jacket, please and thank you! I can’t wait to see some of you on the mountain in the valley, and I can’t wait to return to all of the rest of you the following week!

Anyway! This week, Reneice made Pride cookies.

Molly reviewed Kristen Arnett’s Mostly Dead Things, the book I would absolutely be reading at camp if I ever had time to read at camp.

Taylor wrote about hunting as a black, queer woman of color.

Courtney wants you to go on a casual date!

It’s nearly June – want to host a Pride meet-up in your city for Autostraddle dot com?

Anon reviewed the Womanizer, which apparently remains – to this day! – the best sex toy with the worst name.

Valerie Anne (hilariously) reviewed The Perfection, the most bananas horror movie I have ever seen, that also happens to be queer!

THIS SERIES IS A LOT AND I LOVE IT: YES NO MAYBE: Intergalactic Aliens and Magical Dildos.

And then there were your comments!

On Femme Brûlée: Rainbow Sugar Cookies:

The First Responder Award to Katie:

no cops at pride just a group of queers eating the thousands of these cookies that I brought from home

On “To L and Back” L Word Podcast Episode 108: L’Ennui:

The Neutral Milk Hotel Award to thatottergirl:

I have to admit that I am neutral (hot) milk (hotel?) having ordered a caramel or lavender steamer in my day, but also not a fan of the whole milk film thing on top. Also, I am so sorry, but The Gift of the Magi is the literary equivalent of ”This is why we can’t have nice things

On Chill or Be Chilled: 10 First Date Ideas for When You Want to Keep It Casual:

The Early Admission Award to Caitlin:

now accepting applications for a summer fling to work through this list with i’m v personable and have lots of cool facts about space

On Janelle Monáe Is This Week’s Modern LGBTQ Trailerblazer #WCW:

The Extra Strength Award to Amanda ling:

For a second I thought sponsored meant Janelle Monáe had paid for this article herself and just about lost my shit at how perfectly extra that would have been!!

And on BREAKING: Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson Bought a Sex Bench, Excuse Me, Coming Through!!

The Warm, Hard Facts Award to Julie, Kristana, and Deor:

the fact checker in me would also like to point out that all we see is the box, and it could be a box used to transport something entirely innocuous. But the lesbian in me is now picturing them using it and if you’ll excuse me for a minute…

And the Paparazzi Is Dead / Long Live the Paparazzi Award to Blackmar and Laura:

1. Fuck the paparazzi. 2. These are the greatest paparazzi photographs of all time.

And the Try It Award to Snaelle:

@floralprintdress if you need help moving that bench into your place for the review, dm me.

See a comment that needs to be here? @ me! I’m [at] queergirl on Autostraddle and [at] queergirlblogs on Twitter.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!


Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.


  1. I love how the Comment Awards lately is all about encouraging inter-commenter hookups

    • Kristana, Kristana, life is not about how many comment awards you get

      I definitely do not count the number of weeks between awards

      Definitely not

  2. If anyone ever tries to downplay my achievements in life, I’ll simply point out that I once got 44 thumbs up on a comment on autostraddle dot com, the greatest website on the planet, which clearly means I am also great.

  3. Is it just me but were there significantly more articles on sex toys this past week ?

    The comments were bangin’, for sure !

    Have fun at camp everyone !

  4. Ahhh I did not expect this one, thank you for your unflagging support for my silly puns! I cannot wait to get to A-Camp and see all of you wonderful peeps.

    • *extreme Kate Winslet in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” voice*

      …find me…at A-Camp…

    • Well earned! How often do you get the opportunity to make a pun out of Neutral Milk Hotel?

        • Chandra, when it comes to puns you are truly the cream of the crop. The rest of us are wholly – not just 1% or 2% – cowed by you and can only hope to skim off some of the admiration coming your way.

          • Aww thanks, really? I feel that last one lact something, but I guess only tan mootel

          • Can we steer this another direction? Or is the topic dead? (Put it on a Guernsey and wheel it out.)

      • Yesss we sat next to each other at the La Croixtails workshop last year and by the time I realized it you/I had disappeared! I have learned my lesson and will say hi and/or leave you a cubbyhole note this time around :)

        • Haha you did leave me a cubby hole note last year, but I didn’t know who to address a return note to 😁

          • Oh no, I was wondering what went wrong with that! Oof, what an almost-meet-cute. Just look for an Amira and chances are it’ll be me 😎

  5. Thank you for that headline my brain is hilariously trying figure out how to turn one human bench pressing another human into a sex act.

    …I think I just figured it out and it would require a sub that enjoys being commanded to stay still while being very distracted. >D

Comments are closed.