Some extremely invasive and simultaneously intrepid paparazzi managed to catch Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson, noted Very Good Friends, in the process of moving a sex bench into a home reportedly belonging to the (alleged) couple. As Page Six’s senior style reporter Emily Kirkpatrick noted,
fuck posing together on red carpets, this is easily the best celeb relationship confirmation i've ever seen pic.twitter.com/1OlVtkqSvE
— internet baby (@kirkpate) May 29, 2019
Our investigators theorize that the pair could have purchased the item at the West Hollywood Pleasure Chest, though it is certainly carried at other sex stores throughout the greater Los Angeles area. As our NSFW Consultant Carolyn Yates explains, “Basically the Master Series Obedience Extreme Sex Bench with Restraint Straps, which is what the Daily Mail points out they bought, is ergonomic BDSM and/or sex furniture. A sub can be in a kneeling-on-all-fours position without the joint pressure of actually kneeling on all fours, and with their torso and head and neck supported too. And a dom can restrain them that way and then not have to fuck around with spanking etc. someone who’s all the way on the floor.”
She also helpfully noted that the sub would be restrained by ten points — with two straps across each forearm and calf and then two across the torso — “which would be great if you wanted to struggle, because it would make going anywhere very difficult, but also safe from a joint health perspective.”
Yates also speculated that if in fact Ms Delevingne and Ms Benson were to be sexually involved in some purely hypothetical way, she would imagine that Ms Benson would in fact be the individual strapped to said bench. “The toppy face in the Daily Mail shots, the lingering eyes on Ashley’s ass, the quotation in which she says she’s submissive with men and the opposite with women — and making Ashley be the one who carries the bench backwards is also such a dom move,” Yates noted slyly.
While blissfully ignoring the Daily Mail’s unnecessary commentary (“It is unclear whether the couple purchased the additional extra for the machine, The D**ktator sex machine, which features a sex toy and retails at around £800.”), this reporter did notice that the photographer appears to be hiding in Cara and Ashley’s trash cans. To that end, we don’t know for sure that this was even Cara and Ashley’s place — for all we know, they were helpfully delivering it to someone else’s apartment. Did anyone hire a moving company?
At press time, Community Editor Vanessa Friedman was emphatically offering to write an Anonymous Sex Toy Review of the Master Series Obedience Extreme Sex Bench with Restraint Straps.