It’s been quite a week, hasn’t it? Our leaders sailed off into the sunset a hurricane! (We continue to hold our collective breath.) Networks began to November sweep us! (We continue to cheer at our televisions.) Lady Gaga Bad Romance-d Us! (We continue to watch on repeat.) And all of you gave wonderfully insightful and hilarious comments! (We continue to be smitten with you.) Re-read for yourselves and love one another:
Happy Accident Award to Natasha on Autostraddle.com Behind the Scenes VIDEO #3: 10 Great Ideas & 1 AWESOME Idea: “I really like that the name “Audiostraddle” wasn’t thought of, it just happened. Lots of great things start out that way. Like Post-it notes and the kind of rubber that goes on shoes.”
Terrible/AWESOME Memory Award to kimbit on Top Ten More Queer Girl Movies That Don’t Suck: Best Lesbian Movies Part #2: “the same Christmas that I got Desert Hearts my mom got me a pink pillow with all the Disney princesses on it and I was like errr mom I’m 18? She told me she got it so that I could “sleep with all the Disney whores”. That is word for word what she said before she began cackling wickedly! It was a strange Christmas. Disney movies have not been the same since.”
Separated at Birth Award to southpaw on The Lesbians in Alabama Can Go To Prom: “Am I the only one who thinks that Fergie and Kirstie Alley are the same person?”
Sex Education Award to oceanplease on Maine’s Anti-Gay Marriage Win is Inspiring Other States, Scaring Us: “Here’s the typical scenario: two people have sex and every once in a while, they pop out a normal, GAY baby. it’s just like when people pop out normal, GINGER babies, which statistically happens less often than gay babies (seriously!). and sometimes miracles happen (Lindsey Lohan).”
Baked Goods Enthusiasm Award goes to Sapphicsass on The Week TV Got Out of Control: Aliens, Lesbians, Suicides, Housewives, Oh My!: “You know what they say… the way to a woman’s donut is through her favorite donut. No? just me?”
AND! on Paltrow and Kidman Will Play House in Upcoming Movie: “Is it just me or did anyone else hold on to a lingering hope that the “The Danish Girl” was about women and pastries? I had a fleeting fantasy of a tall Scandinavian goddess with superior baking skills hoping to quell my every concern with sugary dough and a rolling pin wearing nothing more than an apron and a smile. No? Just me? OK then.”
Even Better Movie Pitch Award to wasteunit on Paltrow and Kidman Will Play House in Upcoming Movie: “Did anyone else think “Paltrow and Kidman Will Play House in Upcoming Movie” meant that the TV Show “House” was going to have a movie and Hugh Laurie wouldn’t sign?”
Renewed Interest in the Arts Award to taylor on Fulfill Your “Lesbians Dancing & Having Sex” Fantasies Already, It’s NSFW Sunday!: “i don’t think i’ll have any hope of getting “finger fucked at the opera” until i can properly afford box seats.”
Best Excuse for Perving Award to PatsBard on Fulfill Your “Lesbians Dancing & Having Sex” Fantasies Already, It’s NSFW Sunday!: “I’m only clicking on these links to give the FBI something titillating to read. Really. Nothing prurient going on over here. No way. Nuh uh.”
Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me Award to Liz on Revolutionary Study Promises to Prove Gay Gene, Use It For Gay Dating Website: “The only reason I would want anyone touching my gay gene is to find me a hot gay wife.”
Epic Insult Award to ManillaPudding on Democrats, Unicorns & Anti-Choice Conservatives Pass Health Care Reform Package: “And to you Judge Judy, you are like a piercing nightlight (perhaps in the shape of a hula girl or santa clause) that gives off nerve gas in a dark room filled with Ilene Chaiken scripts and relatives of Ann Coulter.”
Me: Holy shit, I won an award! Thank you for…
Kanye: (pushing wasteunit away from her keyboard) I’ll let you get back to typing in a minute… I just want to say that Beyonce had one of the best comments of ALL TIME.
Sorry. Is that joke too played out?
Probs not until something equally terrible/AWESOME happens… when is the next award ceremony type thing?
awesome! and i love sapphicsass’ “just me?” endings haha.
I’d like to thank Agent Reyes, Agent Scully, and a special shout-out to Agent Starling without whom this would never have been possible. ::crowd cheers::
omg. I have so many ppl to thank. except not, there’s just my mom for giving me that terrible/AWESOME memory.
epic insult award ftw!
That is one of the worst memories that I don’t have that I remember.