While memoirs and autobiographies by lesbian writers and activists have been some of our community’s most treasured works for decades, the history of juicy memoirs from gay musicians, television personalities and actors is a much shorter one, but boy has it been growing over the past decade.
I’m not sure what it is about a queer celebrity memoir that inspires me to read it entirely in two days — probably some of that is due to the fairly straightforward and extremely easy-to-read writing style these books tend to employ — but I sure do. You come to understand the formula pretty quickly; the inspirational message that either blends seamlessly into the narrative or overpowers it unnecessarily.
17 of the books on this reasonably long list. My favorites from this list are So Gay For You, Say Everything, Coming Home, Semi Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, Unbearable Lightness, Grace After Midnight and My Greatest Save. There’s a few on this list I want to read, but haven’t, like Caster Semenya’s and Elvira’s. I’m currently in the middle of Tommy Dorfman’s memoir. So far I like it a lot! (You can see all the celebrity memoirs I’ve read on my goodreads).
This list includes memoirs for which the author is not best known as, well, an author —they’re not a writer first and foremost, they’re writing a book about their experiences in a different industry for which they achieved fame, such as acting, music, reality TV or sports, taking readers behind the scenes of a life in the spotlight. I mostly stayed away from influencers, YouTubers and podcasters too, who already live in front of the scenes. I also didn’t include politicians, because it felt weird to include politicians but not activists, and once we get into activism, the line is too blurry with who is a writer or not. Besides, this felt like a list of potentially lighter reads, you know?
Secondly, the memoir had to address their queerness at some point, which did disqualify a big chunk of potential inclusions — memoirs written before the subject publicly came out (e.g., Wanda Sykes, Julia Fox, Mara Wilson) or memoirs written post-coming-out but with nary a lick of bisexual or lesbian content (e.g., Keke Palmer, Drew Barrymore).
Lesbian, Queer & Trans Actor Memoirs
So Gay For You, by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey
So Gay For You, by L Word stars, best friends and Pants podcasters Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig, excels in so many ways — as a loving portrait of queer community, as a roaming time capsule of queer pop culture, as a platonic love story, as a behind-the-scenes almanac to a groundbreaking show and as a juicy celebrity memoir. It’s a thoroughly entertaining read, conversational and introspective, full of pain and joy and wit and insider info.
Semi Well Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, by Alyson Stoner
Alyson Stoner was only six when she launched her professional acting and dancing career, becoming recognizable worldwide after her unforgettable dance spot in a Missy Elliot music video and eventually, building her public image on the Disney Channel, alongside so many other young actors who starred in many of its generation-defining series for young people. Alreaday working 80 hours a week as a kid, struggling with eating disorders, her sexuality and public scrutiny, Stoner was put in a position to “hold it all together” for her family, hiding a home life defined by addict parents in a toxic, abusive relationship. She seeks refuge in a Christian purity culture that rejects her burgeoning queerness, and ultimately comes into her own as an emotionally healthy adult advocate.. I didn’t expect to love this book as much as I did — she’s a talented and introspective storyteller, and her journey is compelling, surprising, and deeply emotional.
Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, by Portia De Rossi
De Rossi was 12 when she entered the modeling industry and Unbearable Lightness is an emotional and intense account of a life spent in the spotlight, grappling with mental illness and fighting severe eating disorders. I wrote in 2010 that the book “contains our impossible dreams, our worst nightmares, our secret shame and our self-destructive tendencies in equal parts, and in the end, everyone lives “happily ever after.””
Pageboy: A Memoir, by Elliot Page
Stef wrote of the actor’s intimate, hotly-anticipated memoir: “”You’re along with him as he goes through the hook ups and romances and breakups, the eating disorder recovery, the instances of self-harm, the fights with Hollywood producers and photographers and his former agents, the beautiful and terrible experiences he has with his family, the brotherhood he builds with other men, and the joys and sadnesses he feels while doing his job. Like Page himself during the last couple of years before this book was written, the reader is pushed in the first two thirds of the book to the “edge” with him, to the space where he can finally figure out who he is and what he wants and needs to do.”
Grace After Midnight: A Memoir, by Felicia “Snoop” Pearson
Born in East Baltimore to a mother ravaged by drug addiction, “Snoop” was taken in by a good family but began ‘running the streets’ as a kid, pretty much always knew she was gay, and eventually ended up in prison at the age of 14. Smart and confident, Pearson would become known to the world for playing ruthless killer “Snoop” on The Wire; a role created for her after meeting Michael K. Williams in a club, who invited her to set. It’s a quick, fascinating read of a very unconventional rise to the public stage.
This Much Is True, by Miriam Margolyes
Margolyes is known for her candid honesty about everything — and this memoir is, indeed, filled with strong opinions about politics and people as well as a lot of farting stories. In this, her second memoir, she shares anecdotes about growing up, coming out, her Jewish identity, university, theater, being in the Harry Potter movies, aging and so much more. While some sections dragged for me (but might not for those with more invested in the worlds she’s describing), her voice is lively and energetic, and it’s also refreshing to read a celebrity memoir written by someone who isn’t considered conventionally attractive— which is an unspoken but obvious element of most celebrity memoirs. Get this one on audiobook because she’s such a delightful narrator!
Say Everything: A Memoir, by Ione Skye
This one’s for all the Gen X / Very Elder Millennials (me) as the star of Say Anything takes us through a wild life and iconic career. Only a brief section of this memoir addresses Ione’s halycon days partying with the glamorous Lesbians of LA, like Jenny Shimizu, Ingrid Casares and Alice Temple —but that part is really good! She recalls life on the sets of so many quintessential 80s and 90s teen films, through infatuations with stars like River Phoenix and Keanu Reeves and her tumultuous and upsetting relationship with Anthony Kiedes. I zoomed right through it.
Maybe This Will Save Me: A Memoir of Art, Addiction and Transformation, by Tommy Dorfman
Tommy knew she was a girl from early childhood, but retreated into a series of compromised identities on her way to self-acceptance, through a turbulent adolescence, drug and alcohol addiction. Eventually her early aspirations lead to her breakout role in 13 Reasons Why. From Booklist: “Translating her full life to this fully engrossing book, Dorfman asserts herself as a kind of artist, too: an imaginative and truthful writer in steady ownership of her story.”
How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale, by Jenna Jameson
I know this seems like a weird add but for some reason I was glued to this damn book (which I only picked up in the first place to get the scoop for 16 Lesbian Couples Time Forgot). It’s just so apologetically bisexual while discussing a time period in which that was not necessarily a thing a lot of famous women were. Porn was an area in which it was less risky, for obvious reasons, to be openly bisexual, but Jenna really speaks about her sexuality without any political consciousness whatsoever about the implication of her expressed desires, for better and for worse, and that was really refreshing and different. Is this book objectively bad? Perhaps. But I had a great time!
Yours Cruelly, Elvira: Memoirs of a Mistress of the Dark, by Elvira
Cassandra Peterson survived a horrifying incident with a pot of boiling water as a baby that left her burned on 35% of her body, earning a dismal medical prognosis. But she survived, becoming a weird horror-obsessed kid who built model kits of Dracula and Frankenstein while other girls her age played with Barbies. She left home at 14 and from there things go wildly all over the place —performing in Vegas at 17, a life-changing encounter with Elvis, doing improv with Pee-Wee, traveling in Italy with a pop band and, finally, at 30, starting her late-night vintage horror movie show on LA channel KHJ, where the Elvira persona began to take shape. And, of course, her story does include a 19-year secret relationship with a woman and her decision to come out later in life.
Ten Steps to Nanette, by Hannah Gadsby
The comic recalls their life from growing up queer and weird in Tasmania, getting late-in-life diagnoses of autism and ADHD, and all the moments and convictions that led to the viral sensation of their comedy special Nanette. While I haven’t read this one myself, it has the highest Goodreads score of any memoir on this list.
Straight Walk: A Supermodel’s Journey to Finding Her Truth, by Patricia Velásquez
Considered the “first Latina supermodel,” Velásquez’s modeling career took off after a friend urged her to enter the1989 Miss Venezuela pageant. As she began a professional journey around the world, she battled loneliness, a language barrier, and the deep shame she felt about her sexuality, even after meeting the woman she considers to be her first true love — Sandra Bernhard. In 2015, Velásquez came out by releasing this book — her relationship with Sandra Bernhard was a particular draw. “Straight Walk is an addictive read because Velásquez’s experiencesare so interesting and unique,” wrote Yvonne at the time, “But maybe I just wanted to devour the words of a famous Latina lesbian because, well, there aren’t that many out there!”
Save Yourself, by Cameron Esposito
The stand-up comic’s voice translates keenly to the page as she recalls growing up very Catholic, figuring out she was gay while in a Catholic college as well as experiences like “joining the circus.” “Warm, conversational, and laugh-out-loud funny,” Casey wrote. “Although this book deals with some tough subjects, I found it overall not a heavy read, and left it feeling soothed and optimistic.”
I Might Regret This, by Abbi Jacobson
A collection of very funny essays following the author on a self-reflective cross-country road trip as the Broad City star seeks out some sense of who she is and what to do next in her life and comes to terms with her sexuality. It’s a mish-mash of formats —diaries, illustrations, lists —as wild and haphazard as her own brain.
Untied: A Memoir of Family, Fame and Floundering, by Meredith Baxter
Best known for playing Elyse Keaton on Family Ties, Meredith Baxter was one of the most popular women on television, but so much tumult and tragedy lurked beneath her shiny public surface. Growing up in Hollywood in a showbiz family, Baxter didn’t get into acting herself until a divorce that left her a 22-year-old single mother of two. But as her career took off, her very public relationship with a co-star was abusive behind the scenes, and Baxter struggled with alcoholism and eventually faced another messy divorce. Eventually, she comes to terms with her sexuality, finds true love, and, somewhere in there, herself.
I’m Just a Person, by Tig Notaro
Everyone remembers Tig Notaro’s 2012 viral breakout moment —the standup set opening with “Good evening. Hello. I have cancer,” recounting a hellish four months of being hospitalized for C diff, the death of her mother, a harrowing breakup and a bilateral breast cancer diagnosis. In I’m Just a Person, Notaro looks back on that year as it unfolded offstage, journeying into the darkness and returning valiantly on the other side of it.
Rebel Rising, by Rebel Wilson
Once upon a time, Rebel Wilson was a really shy kid in Australia who had to be dragged to drama class, but then she grew up and became famous and funny worldwide, stumbling through a tense relationship with her father, uncertainty in her physical body, her late-in-life lesbian awakening and fertility issues.
Happy Accidents: A Memoir, by Jane Lynch
As a kid growing up on the South Side of Chicago, Lynch dreamed of being an actress, but her path towards success was riddled with speedbumps, like anxiety and self-destruction. But at the age of 31 she came out to her parents, quit drinking, landed her first commercial, met Christopher Guest and, well — the rest is herstory (but also is in this book).
Find Me, by Rosie O’Donnell
While technically a novel, it’s certainly an autobiographical one. A gay, massively successful television host with three adopted children, Rosie gets caught up in a codependent connection with a young woman who wants Rosie to adopt her child. There’s a lot in this slim little story — about codependence, grief, trauma and the hazards of being a person without any boundaries. Throughout it all, Rosie faces increasingly attractive offers to keep her talk show going, none of which she finds more valuable than her own mental health.
It’s Not a Rehearsal, by Amanda Barrie
Known for her roles on Coronation Street, Carry on Cleo and Bad Girls, the British actress started working at the age of three, with a career that took her from chorus girl to west End lead to the cinema and the television set. Throughout it all, she was dating both men and women, and privately struggling —to keep her bisexuality a secret, with body image issues and drug addiction.
Lesbian, Queer & Trans Sports Memoirs
Coming Home, by Brittney Griner
In 2022, the WNBA star was arrested at an airport security checkpoint in Russia, where she played basketball in the off-season, for mistakenly carrying under one gram of medically prescribed hash oil. Coming Home tells the story of Griner’s unspeakably harrowing imprisonment, the #weareBG campaign to bring her back, and her wife’s tirelessly advocacy. It digs into her childhood a bit too, how she was so often bullied for her height and masculinity, but eventually found refuge in basketball.
My Greatest Save: The Brave, Barrier Breaking Journey of a World Champion Goalkeeper, by Briana Scurry
As a pioneer on the U.S Women’s National Team, Brianna Scurry was usually the only Black lesbian in the room, an extraordinary goalkeeper with grit and remarkable talent. At the center of a world-changing team, her epic and decorated soccer career came to an end with a 2010 head injury — kicking off a spiral into depression, debt and self-isolation. Scurry must save herself to go on, and builds an even more inspiring narrative in doing so.
One Life, by Megan Rapinoe
She fell in love with soccer when she was just a kid, but her parents ensured she knew that living a life of integrity was more important than winning on the pitch would ever be. Rapinoe’s book traces her victories and letdowns on and off the field, including her decisions to come out in 2011 and take a knee in 2016; as well as her relationship with WNBA champion Sue Bird.
Forward: A Memoir, by Abby Wambach
Abby’s professional success was known worldwide —the highest goal scorer in the history of soccer at the age of 35, a women’s rights advocate Obama called a “badass” —but behind it all she fumbled to reconcile the competitor, daughter, leader and wife, tackling addiction and navigating feeling unlovable and her lesbian identity. It’s a “gripping tale of resilience and redemption —a reminder that heroism is, above all, about embracing life’s challenges with fearlessness and heart.”
The Race to Be Myself: A Memoir, by Caster Semenya
Semenya, an outstanding World Champion Runner, faced immoral and horrifying world scrutiny for her perceived gender non-conformity, becoming the center of a debate about gender in sports. In her memoir she speeds towards authenticity and self-acceptance, challenged by bigotry and racism, determined to be herself and hold onto her dignity against insurmountable odds.
Find a Way, by Diana Nyad
At 64, Diana Nyad became the first person to swim all the way from Cuba to Florida without a cage for protection, a dream she’d chased since the age of 28. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Nyad’s memoir is about facing your fears, enduring failure and not giving up. A lot of readers call it “inspirational,” so.
All In: An Autobiography, by Billie Jean King
The tennis legend goes behind the headlines — the Battle of the Sexes with Bobby Riggs, the twenty Wimbeldon championships —into the woman facing entrenched sexism, an eating disorder and facing financial ruin after she was outed as a lesbian. It’s the story of a dogged feminist and fighter with strong political opinions and an indestructible will.
The Can-Do Mindset: How to Cultivate Resilience, Follow Your Heart, and Fight For Your Passions, by Candace Parker
A mix of a memoir and self-help, WNBA superstar Candace Parker, one of the best women to ever play the game, breaks down the “CAN-DO” mindset that helped her overcome physical and mental hurdles while embracing her own vulnerability.
Lesbian, Queer & Trans TV Personality and Influencer Memoirs
Nice Girls Don’t Win: How I Burned It All Down to Claim My Power, by Parvati Shallow
Pavarti Shallow won one million dollars on Survivor at the tender age of 25 — but was haunted by ghosts of her traumatic past, including growing up in a cult. Coping with the harsh public eye, Shallow was stuck in her own survival cycle of shame and sabatoge. But after a series of personal traumas, including a divorce and her brothers’ death, she found her power. Shallow “shares the stories that allowed her to transform her most difficult moments into powerful catalysts for empowerment.” A light, easy read.
Accidentally on Purpose, by Kristen Kish
Adopted into a white Midwestern family, Kish was an introverted kid recruited into modeling at a young age, unsure of her destiny, attempting to make it work with a serious boyfriend and stand on her own two feet. Finally she found that cooking was her true calling, carving out a place for herself in several influential restaurants with the help of strong mentors. And then, of course —Top Chef came knocking, Kish found true love, and her whole life changed just like that.
In the Form of a Question: The Joys and Rewards of a Curious Life, by Amy Schneider
The most successful woman to ever compete on Jeopardy, Schneider was a trailblazer as a visibly out, queer trans woman on a wildly popular television franchise. This book is less about Jeopardy than it is about the rest of her life —her first sexual experiences and her temporary devotion to exploring her mind via psychedelic drugs, growing up a miserable Boy Scout in Dayton, Ohio; her marriage and coming into her own as a trans woman.
Cooking as Fast as I Can: A Chef’s Story of Family, Food and Forgiveness, by Cat Cora
For the first time, Cora sorts through her experiences growing up in the deep South as a lesbian and a survivor of early childhood sexual abuse, exploring how the solace she found in the kitchen became a passion for creating food for a living. Through a prestigious culinary education and big-name apprenticeships, Cora makes her way towards her big break as a Food Network co-host and, of course, breaks barriers as the first-ever female Iron Chef.
Savor: A Chef’s Hunger For More, by Fatima Ali with Taraja Morrell
After winning Fan Favorite for Season 15 of Top Chef, 29-year-old Fatima Ali was heralded as a boundary-breaking chef and a fresh new voice in the food world. Then, she was diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer. Determined to live fully, she vowed to spend her final year traveling, eating fantastic food, and making memories — but her condition worsened and she was forced to abandon that plan. Instead, she wrote this book, along with her mother and Tarajia Morrell. It hops between her life in Pakistan and the U.S., dating both men and women, enduring chronic pain, dealing with childhood trauma, until her death at the age of 29, in 2019.
Everybody’s Got Something, by Robin Roberts
The Good Morning America host recounts “the incredible journey that’s been her life so far, and the lessons she’s learned along the way,” including overcoming breast cancer and then, five years later, getting diagnosed with a rare blood disorder that required a bone marrow transplant. But she triumphed and returned to the Good Morning America stage with the help of her friends, family, and faith.
Undivided: Coming Out, Becoming Whole, and Living Free From Shame, by Vicky Beeching
The Guardian called her “arguably the most influential Christian of her generation” — a household name amongst a certain type of household, her music broadcast across America’s largest megachurches, central to evangelical Christian culture. But at 35, facing a major health crisis, she decided to come out —at which point “all hell broke lose.” She became the target of vitriolic animosity, she lost her career, her friends and colleagues, and nearly her mind. But from all that destruction sprang something far more authentic.
Lesbian, Queer & Trans Musician Memoirs
Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock’s Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout, by Laura Jane Grace
Declared one of Billboard’s “100 Greatest Music Books Of All Time,” Grace tells her story from being a punk teenager with “nothing but an acoustic guitar and a headful of anarchist politics” through forming her band Against Me! and coming out as a trans woman after 30 years in the closet.
Tegan and Sara: High School, by Tegan and Sara Quinn
“What’s stunning aboutHigh School,” wrote Heather Hogan in her review, “Is that it’s not coy or ambiguous about their high school lives; yet, their experiences still feel universally queer.” The twins alternate chapters as they recall navigating conservative Calgary in the ’90s, teaching themselves to make music with their mom’s boyfriend’s guitar, grappling with their sexualities and internalized homophobia, fighting with their mom, experimenting with drugs, and enduring loneliness and depression. Even when they write about themselves, “they’re writing about you, too. Your specific break-up and your specific canyon of despair. Your specific frenzy and the exhilaration at simply the thought of that one girl.”
Broken Horses, by Brandi Carlile
Growing up in a poor, musical family, Brandi spent her beautiful, strange, difficult early years moving from house to house and trailer to trailer, ultimately grappling with the tension between her identity as an openly gay teenager and the faith she’d been raised in. Events like her small town rallying behind her when her pastor refused to baptize her are as much a part of the eventual art she came to create as her first break, opening for the Dave Matthews Band. Touted as “evocative and piercingly honest,” Broken Horses is the story of “a creative mind, a brilliant artist, and a genuine empath on a mission to give back.”
Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer, by Chely Wright
Wright’s memoir was a massive deal when it debuted —as the first country singer to come out as a lesbian, her story was a rebuke of a Nashville culture that drove women like Chely into compromise, suicidality and isolation, before making the decision to write this book, come out, and face it all.
Violence Girl: East L.A. Rage to Hollywood Stage: A Chicana Punk Story, by Alice Bag
Mexican-American singer Alicia Armendariz adopted the name Alice Bag as she took her place in the 1970s punk movement as the lead singer of The Bags — living a life of “many crossed boundaries, from East L.A.’smusica rancherato Hollywood’s punk rock; from a violent male-dominated family to female-dominated transgressive rock bands.”
Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl, by Carrie Brownstein
From her childhood in the Pacific Northwest to her day-to-day life in pioneering underground feminist riot grrl band Sleater-Kinney, queer icon Brownstein delivers “an intimate revealing narrative of her escape from turbulent family life into a world where music wa the means towards self-invention, community and rescue,” addressing contradictions within the indie music subculture and the observations that would eventually become Portlandia fodder.
Brutally Honest, by Mel B
The “tell-all memoir from the loudest, proudest Spice Girl” promises “the truth behind the headlines” regarding the life of Mel B — the iconic Scary Spice and X Factor judge who really went through it. It does include her bisexual experiences, including a five-year relationship with a woman, but is more focused on the men in her life. “With deep personal insight, remarkable frankness and trademark Yorkshire humor, the book tells how she went from Girl Power to girl powerless during her ten-year emotionally abusive marriage,” says the book jacket copy. “Tracing a path through the key moments in her life, she reflects on her childhood, rise to fame and her chilling downward spiral before she finally broke free.”
The Truth Is… My Life in Love and Music & Talking To My Angels, by Melissa Etheridge
In her first memoir, Melissa Etheridge tells her life story from growing up in Kansas to fighting for her place in a male-dominated rock world and the impact of her decision to come out and become so visible in the gay and lesbian community. It’s a deeply authentic look at the whole mess of it through the lens of her music —ambition, relationships, and her decision to have children with her then-partner Julie Cypher. Her second, written twenty years later, addresses two decades of joy and success as well as her public breakups and incomparable losses, griefs and illness —including battling breast cancer and the death of her son to opioid addiction. It’s a love letter to her fans and a journey for anybody looking for hope in the darkness.
Facing the Music: My Story, by Jennifer Knapp
Knapp escaped her difficult family life with partying and hookups, then escaped all that by dedicating herself to Christ, eventually becoming a Christian music star. Then in 2002 she vanished from the public eye, returning in 2010, announcing she was gay and had a girlfriend. But there were so many reasons the Christian community she was a part of never quite felt right, or like home to her. This is that story.
Coal to Diamonds: A Memoir, by Beth Ditto
Mary Beth Ditto never fit in to her Arkansas community, as a “fat, pro-choice, sexually confused choir nerd with a great voice, an eighties perm, and a Kool Aid dye job.” Her childhood was transient and haphazard, and in high school she found a second family in the punk community and fat-positive zine counterculture. Eventually she made her way to Washington to a Riot Grrl paradise, where she began to cultivate her image and build her outstanding career. “Marked with the frankness, humor, and defiance that have made her an international icon,” we are told, “Beth Ditto’s unapologetic, startlingly direct, and poetic memoir is a hypnotic and inspiring account of a woman coming into her own.”
thanks for this Riese! i’m always looking for new memoirs to read, so i will be bookmarking this