“That’s right — the characters on this show abusing their power has become so commonplace that I am now desensitized and can only think of denim.”
“Stef and I say, “Nothing intimate about that!” and then Stef and I laugh, but the Serious Music of Relationship Doom starts and Stef and I know we’ve made a terrible mistake.”
“Brandon tells Dani he’ll pay her back but she says it was a gift and giving makes her happy, happy, happy! Then, she says she has one request and I don’t want to know what it is. I pause the show, eat Skittles and consider quitting the recapping life.”
This makes no sense. You would hand out a letter to each person as they arrive, starting with the first. Brandon arrived last which means he should have been left with the last “S.” YOU CANNOT JUST HAND OUT LETTERS RANDOMLY!
“The combination of lesbians and hummus is always funny to me. I’m easy.”
“The doorbell rings and it’s Emma the Wrestler with noodle kugel! We get a little primer on how Jews respond to funerals. Hint: They bring kugel. Every time they say “kugel,” I hear “kegel” and do 15.”
Stef is watering the bushes when Lena gets home from the doctor and says, “Have fun at the gyno?” Lena says, “It’s more action than I’ve gotten from you in awhile.”
“Mariana sits at a table alone and takes her fancy plastic lunch container out of dumb paper bag. Why doesn’t she have a reusable lunch bag? What kind of family are these lesbians running?”
Relationships are no picnic… but wait! Maybe they are!
Autostraddle’s television writers on their favorite lezalicious, bisexual, queer and trans* ladies on the 2013 teevee!
“Where We Are On TV” has some promising and not-so-promising numbers for queer women on the teevee, and also raises some questions about how we quantify “representation” in the first place for all groups.
Behind-the-scenes pics from teevee shows with queer storylines, from “Ellen” to “Orange is the New Black” to “Buffy” to “Pretty Little Liars” to absolutely everything in between. You’re gonna love it, we promise.
It’s the 2013 Teen Choice Awards, hosted by Pretty Little Liars’s Lucy Hale and Glee’s Darren Criss!
“They ask Stef and Lena about their vows and Stef says they’re not doing vows and I start to think that Stef doesn’t understand what a wedding is.”
“Brandon asks Mike why Stef wasn’t wearing a vest. Geez Brandon! Not all lesbians wear vests! But then I realize he means “bulletproof vest” and let this slide.”
This spring/summer there are more brand-new lesbian, bisexual and otherwise-identified ladies on your television set than we ever dreamed possible.
“I think Hot Cops from Arrested Development but all ladies but Lena ruins that vision.”
“When they pry themselves apart, Lexi tells Jesus that her parents took her computer and phone and locked her away in Cookie Monster’s tower where she has to spin gold.”
In which there is a party, halibut, and a knock at the door.
Digression 6: My first lesbian date ended on the roof of a small town Pizza Hut, but she knew what we were doing because she helped me push the dumpster up against the wall.