OPEN THREAD: What Did You Do Without Autostraddle?

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So! Remember when Autostraddle was down for what felt like forever?

No no, not the time in June when Riese threatened to quit the internet forever and we were late for Julia’s birthday dinner.

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And nooo, I’m not talking about when Autostraddle wouldn’t work in Chrome and half of the world couldn’t read our genius musings and we answered 34234 formspring questions about how to properly contact our tech support.

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I’m referring to this week’s outage! Whew, it was a pretty stressful time! It was up, it was down, it was days old, it was a white screen, it was everything but good. We had things to share with you, but we couldn’t! So what did we do? I mean, really, think about it, what could we do?

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Let’s check in with Team Autostraddle to see how everyone coped individually with the loss of their favorite job.

Rachel

+ cried
+ answered formspring questions
+ read news about the outside world
+ baked muffins
+ refreshed the page constantly and then stopped trying to refresh it ever because it was too depressing
+ cried
+ called BOTH my parents
+ set up an easel in my bedroom
+answered formspring questions
+ napped
+ lay in bed awake
+ watched The X Files
+ started two new tumblrs
+ worried that i had an exotic and undetected disease and would die imminently
+ went to the gym but forgot to bring socks, had to elliptical without them
+ filled various online shopping carts with things I can’t buy
+ cried

Katrina

There was sun in DC while Autostraddle was down. They tell me that this happens most every day, but I’m not really sure, because I’m usually inside working, sleeping, or cuddling with Autostraddle. At first I looked at my computer and was like, “Man, now what the f*ck am I supposed to do with this typewriter that plays DVDs?” And then I immediately went to go have feelings about it on Tumblr. Other than that, these past two days have been like getting born into the world again. I laughed, I cried, I was introduced to alcoholic whipped cream and subsequently got drunk with lesbians (all the lesbians). I rode my bike! I went for a run. I dragged home an ornate mirror I found outside a torn-down church cafeteria. I also found a cow painting that another church had thrown out, and I took that too. I was like, “World, the Internet is funny, but you are hilarious. Sorry I had forgotten.” Autostraddle is back, and I love her the most, but the world and I still have plans to hang out once in a while.

Lindsay

+ Finishing the third season of Skins, like a proper honorary Brit.
+ Finally, finally got around to listening to The King of Limbs, which I was supposed to do like a week ago, I guess. And yes, it’s good, but Thom Yorke Dancing Alone to Pony is better.
+ Got my dissertation topic approved, which I suppose officially makes me an insufferable academic.
+ Discovered the magic of pauladeenridingthings dot tumblr dot com.
+ Read. Like, from an actual book. Not a screen. Or an academic text. Highly recommended.
+ My friend and I had plans to see DRIVE ANGRY IN THREE DEE on Wednesday night but instead we went to the pub, had several drinks too many and I might have danced to Martha & The Vandellas with a middle-aged Frenchman.
+ Organized the Autostraddle Manchester (UK) meetup, which took care of the withdrawal symptoms.

Crystal

+ Downloaded books onto my new Kindle. Read a queer novel, Too Close To Touch. 2/5 stars.
+ Caught up on episodes of Castle. 5/5 stars.
+ Discussed my obsession on Formspring.
+ Channeled my energy into my day job. Pitched ideas for how our new robot overlord can use his powers for good.
+ Started a new blog. Deleted it.
+ Refreshed the Autostraddle homepage 19,474 times.
+ Created my first ever budget. Deleted it.
+ Binged on The Pretty Reckless’ album Light Me Up.
+ Wrote a post about my love for Taylor Momsen. Deleted it.
+ Went to the Autostraddle meet up in Sydney. Hung out with some rad people

Laneia

+ skimmed a substantial amount of lesbian erotica in preparation for an upcoming post (sample theme: lesbian cowgirls)
+ watched season 1 of Arrested Development (funny) for the first time
+ washed dishes utilizing several techniques, including dishwasher, hand-washing, child labor and the power of suggestion (most effective: dishwasher)
+ watched The Fourth Kind (scary) in a sofa cuddling situation
+ taste-tested three types of raviolis sold at Trader Joe’s (winner: goat cheese + sundried tomatoes)
+ laundered slipcovers
+ rearranged my closet
+ street beer
+ contracted pink eye (viral)
+ drank no less than six pots of chamomile tea
+ increased my texting by 65%
+ made hollandaise (local, organic eggs)
+ drafted at least three supportive emails to Riese that, in the end, didn’t seem supportive enough
+ cried (unrelated to supportive emails)
+ cried (related to supportive emails)

Laura

+ Homework
+ Listened to the Dinner Party Download and this song on repeat
+ Lay in the sun with my housemate’s cat
+ More homework
+ Watched re-runs of The L Word on Netflix out of sheer desperation
+ Caught a cold due to too many hours spent on public transportation
+ Went rock climbing
+ Searched for the perfect suitcase–I have not found it yet

Emily

+ lay on my bed
+ went to school
+ watched 2 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy
+ lost track of what day it was
+ wondered if things were happening outside my room
+ took a shower
+ wrote a poem
+ almost formspringed riese
+ refreshed Autostraddle every 5 minutes

Riese


+ Finished watching Season Four of The Wire and moved on to Season Five of The Wire, pausing intermittently to check imdb so I could be prepared for the impending deaths of these characters who at this point are essentially my closest friends
+ Took out all my paper and stickers and magazines to make thank you cards for people who were donating to paypal while we were down, made incremental but relatively insignificant process
+ Got my bike fixed because it got fucked when i was hit by a car on Friday
+ Used the gift certificate I got for Valentine’s Day to get a manicure/pedicure
+ Looked into how I could get a teaching certificate for free (impossible)
+ Stared vacantly at my resumè
+ Read “How to Pitch” articles on Mediabistro, took notes in textedit, felt ‘this is futile’
+ Edited a Julie & Brandy video
+ Started Valencia
+ Got lost in Oakland on my bike
+ Went to The Y
+ Sorted my mail
+ Ate two loaves of Sour Batard bread
+ Obsessively google-searched our problems
+ answered 60,000 formspring questions
+ Laundry

Tess

There are probably still a few kinks to iron out because hahahahaaa THERE ALWAYS ARE HAHAHAH! But! We’re super glad to be here in your face space and can’t wait to act like this never happened!

You guys are really supportive and patient and we adore you so. Share your stories / coping techniques in the comments! Best answer wins a pizza party! But you have to throw the party yourself.

auto has written 587 articles for us.

212 Comments

  1. I seriously thought I got kicked off of Autostraddle.com due to over indulging in alcoholic beverages and embarrassing myself and annoying the hell out of Laneia at the Phoenix Autostraddle Meet-up!! :)

    P.S. This is a true fear as I DID get kicked off of an etiquette board I’d been part of for 5 years!! :)

  2. +refreshed autostraddle obsessively
    +looked at all the lovely sounding autostraddle articles in google reader and wished i could read them
    +had a lot of sex
    +tried to read autostraddle again
    +caught up on all the other things google reader
    +looked at pictures of naked ladies
    +slept

  3. laundry
    read AS posts on tumblr
    found some new queers to follow on twitter
    ate vegetarian chick’n tenders
    cupcakes
    slept
    wished i could be watching julie and brandy videos

      • I bought my bio “textbook” for about $100, and it was just a 4in thick stack of papers. It seemed as though someone had attempted to hole punch them, but the circles were still stuck in the pages, so I rehole-punched all of them, and put them in a binder. But, since they tried to make as much of a profit off of my broke college as as they could, the pages are all so shitty that they basically just rip out whenever I even put my book down.

      • Hah, no. DC. And I just sold it to some nice Ethiopian man for $100… and I felt horribly guilty because it’s worth about $0. Seriously, it took weeks for my body to accept that it was my new bed. Sigh. I just need to keep repeating to myself: “I paid $350 for it brand new less than one year ago… $100 is more than fair…” Craigslist guilt!

  4. I was kinda sad, I cant lie. Though, the site worked alright for the most part. I only couldn’t view anything for a day.

    Nonetheless, i’ve been counting down til tomorrow (huge frat party ^_^) and doing homework. Trying to make it through the week, wishing that I had your sassy articles to help it go by faster…i cried. Not alot! …just a little bit.

    Yeah.

  5. thought about tax but realized it’s too complicated so i’m just going to stress later
    refreshed AS 37892354 times
    read AS on tumblr posts
    read 37892354 tech news (including taylor’s articles on tecca. great articles btw)
    taught students
    answered i dont know to my students’ questions

  6. got all the shit sorted for my sisters wedding in costa rica
    watched some spring training baseball
    watched carnivale
    twitter
    tumblr
    tried and failed to find something else to read at work.

  7. I started dating a beautiful, sweet, funny, absolutely incredible woman who I’m falling head over heels in love with. And who told me she loves me. I think you can forgive me for saying I couldn’t care less that autostraddle was down this week. I love you, autostraddle, but not as much as I love falling in love.

  8. I feel asleep while attempting to ponder the meaning of life and dreampt that I was a cat and therefore allergic and I suffocated to death. Life lesion do not eat cheese before falling asleep. Life lesion number 2 being a lesbian and allergic to cats makes it impossible to find a girl willing to give up their cat for you and therefore you have crazy resentful dreams about cats ALL THE TIME

  9. + Downloaded porn
    + Made food
    + Watched porn
    + Met some cool Ottawa Autostraddlers
    + Downloaded more porn
    + Refreshed Autostraddle
    + Watched more porn
    + Opened internet bill; $130 CAN
    + Cracked open a bottle of Jamieson and re-watched same porn

  10. While the site was down, I obsessively refreshed, then I checked my tumblr dashboard a lot (Autostraddle Tumblr Presence FTW). I also did some homework, wrote a really long entry in my paper diary about maybe changing my major,and ate tons of spicy guacamole.

    I’m so happy you’re back!!!!

  11. -refreshed Autostraddle once every hour the entire time.
    -went out to brunch and sex-toy shopping with some amazing Chicagostraddlers.
    -fought with my roommates a lot.
    -drank beer.
    -played Tony Hawk American Wasteland without the cheats for two minutes in ‘Sick’ mode and then turned them back on.
    -created a FB group for said Chicagostraddlers. Much Flirting (it’s capitalized the way I do it) has ensued.
    -created a Google Group for same.
    -got a second job.

  12. *Started following autostraddle’s tumblr presence
    *Also started watching reruns of The L Word out of desperation
    *Had nostalgic feelings over how that show was actually pretty good at the beginning
    *Started following an L Word tumblr
    *Tried not to cry as I refreshed the homepage 32402459234589 times
    *Went to school
    *Trained a woman who will not stop eating so much and just “can’t understand why she’s not losing the fatty pounds”
    *Checked autostraddle while I was training her. You were back and I cheered in her face. She totally thought it was for her.

  13. Without Autostraddle, I DISCOVERED Autostraddle.
    No joke. I was linked, and I was like, “This article sounds neat, I really want to read it!” But I clicked it and it was like, “NO LESBIANS FOR YOU.” And then I found out it was down. And I was like, “damn it, I still want to read that article.” And now its back! And I read that article! And I read more articles!

    And so help me, it was worth the wait.

  14. i am a creature of habit (please don’t stalk me).

    a couple days ago, after coming home from work, i logged on and checked autostraddle first, per usual – it wouldn’t work, & i thought it was me…but i have a new computer, & everything says it’s okay, so idk. i really missed the group, but thought, “hey, what’s one day?”

    i went to check the news so i’m not totally ignorant, listened to music, read some great books (dystopian YA), and talked to peeps on the twitters.

    next day, checked autostraddle first – it wouldn’t work, so i put some effort into it, updated some settings, checked the browser and security features, and then when it still wouldn’t load, i went on the twitters and saw that Riese was quiting and other people were also not able to get to the autostraddle awesomeness. i wrote supportive tweets to Riese, thought happy thoughts, and then spent the evening talking to friends on twitter.

    then today…oh glorious day. i read a siren’s call of “it works it works it works.” i shared the information around the twitters and dove into the last couple days of posts that i missed.

    it is so good to have autostraddle back. let’s stay this way forever (except, you know, for regularly scheduled software updates). :)

  15. -Watched Chicago Code
    -Daydreamed that I was a cop that had to go undercover on said Chicago Code
    -Continued to daydream that Jennifer Beals’s character was my boss, then I got partnered up with Tasha Williams
    -You can imagine what I did for the next 20 minutes
    -Drew a lot, now I feel accomplished
    -Played with guinea pig

  16. I misread everything to be dirty on accident, which made life very strange for me.

    Example: Being cast in porn.

    That makes you very reproductive.

    Brain: wtf? Oh, productive. Makes sense now.

    Also, watched every lesbian show online, including web series. (Love Lip Service, Skins USA (DONT MAKE TEA BISEXUAL! KEEP HER LESBISEXY) (I’m not pedobearing on her, we just need more lesbian youth around, y’know?), and Girltrash. Try them.

  17. I didn’t clean my house, and I didn’t get caught up on either of my projects for work, and I didn’t get caught up on my writing. I honestly have no idea how I managed to waste these past few days away. I did apply for a job, though! And I got it! And then I found out that the job they wanted people for wasn’t the job they’d actually advertised, and I couldn’t do it after all. This week, I don’t even know.

    I went to the Autostraddle meetup tonight, though, and that was fun! But the site wasn’t actually down at that point, so I guess it doesn’t count as something I did when the site was down. I did nothing, guys. Nothing at all. Probably I looked at pictures of kittens.

  18. Let’s see.
    While AS was down, I failed my week of midterms (two more tomorrow YES). Hilariously, I probably wouldn’t have failed so hard if the site were up, since I had to instead devise new and tricky ways to procrastinate. (Like Discover Magazine. [No but really have you seen this article on WHALES: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/loom/2011/02/28/the-mere-existence-of-whales/%5D)

    At one point I tried to close my eyes and imagine what Autostraddle had looked like. Tried and failed. It was traumatic. Like trying to imagine a dead relative’s face/voice and failing. But more sad.

  19. +drank chocolate milk
    +watched two seasons of Chuck
    +received hourly updates from Paris, were ALL MY FRIENDS are partying this week. Fuck money.
    +missed my girlfriend who is rock climbing in Turkey. Fuck rocks.
    +fixed my bike
    +read a book
    +got drunk
    +drew Brittana
    +looked at every single post on my Tumblr dash. I follow fuckloads of people

    I just realized my life is pathetic.

  20. + Took a lot of naps.
    + Listened to a lot of Steel Train.
    + Spent a lot of time on Laneia’s blog.
    + Attempted to bring the site back by sheer force of will while staring at the broken page.
    + Also watched The X-Files. (apparently, gillian anderson is my longest lasting crush. and here all this time i thought it was natalie portman.)
    + Tried a new coffee. (it’s good.)
    + Worked on my fitness.

    Three things:
    I think Tess deserves a big thank you from all of us; because I can only imagine how dealing with all the shit of trying to switch servers – on top of a million angry/panicky lesbian emails – is/was really stressful. Thanks Tess. <3
    Riese I am really glad that you were not seriously injured. Maybe you should begin wearing one of those orange vests and flashing lights round your wrists and ankles.
    And finally, and most importantly: you were all really, really missed.

  21. Went to work. Actually did some work b/c Autostraddle didn’t work. Then I remembered the Autostraddle tumblr (sowwy, I forgot) and stopped working.
    Also saw some video’s on youtube, including a video about kittens, which made me think of Autostraddle..

    Glad it’s back up! And now: waiting for the calender video!

  22. I had such a radical range of emotions / feelings. This is basically what happened:

    I went to check out Autostraddle.com & realized it was impossible. And I thought to myself – WHY do I lock myself up in these chains? (You know??) I almost thought that the shutdown was the moment that I wanted to turn around & say good-bye. But then I realized – WAIT baby – I am definitely not going to let them (the shutdown) hold me down and make me cry. Because I did know – I knew things COULD change – they could go MY way..if I just held on for one more day.

    And now look – it’s back.

  23. Watched Lady Gaga’s musiv videos more times than healthy.
    Obsessively checked tumblr, and formspring.
    I talked about porn with my guy friends.
    Went to the bookstore. Bought manga. Read manga.
    Went to the thrift store, and took pictures of tacky shoes and knick knacks.
    Went out for sushi.
    Visited my Gramma, and now I’m at my Gramma’s place and since it’s an obscene hour of the morning, and she’s still in bed, I check Autostraddle.

  24. The site hasn’t worked properly for me for probably the last 3 weeks, so after I finished crying and was numb with sadness..
    I cooked & baked. And ate everything I made.
    I read Portia’s book.
    I shoveled all 34765 feet of snow that fell in my yard.
    I snuggled with my cats.
    And refreshed AS hourly hoping it would finally work.

    Now I have to go back and read every post I missed, which will probably take another 3 weeks.

  25. + went to the dentist 3x
    + thought about starting a paper for class
    + did not start paper for class
    + made spinach pizza
    + bought organic peanut butter and ate half a jar
    + continued to find things more interesting to do than my laundry
    + went to class only to find it was cancelled
    + over-indulged my cats in catnip for amusement
    + slept a lot

  26. I slept mostly. And when I didn’t sleep I read 4354 books /hr. And then sometimes I cried to my mom and girlfriend and dad because autostraddle was dead and I had no connection to the world.

    But in real life it was way more dramatic than that.

  27. i didn’t get to submit to this because my life fell into like, a hole for a little bit but:

    while autostraddle was down, i was still on the internet. but eventually i stopped writing in my secret tumblr / pretending i was writing for autostraddle / answering reply-all autostraddle emails about autostraddle and wrote in my real journal instead. i also went to class for actually and did not write for autostraddle in class, but i don’t really remember what we learned.

  28. -considered going to get chinese food
    -ate turkey/swiss sandwich instead
    -took nap
    -considered going to gym
    -took brisk walk around campus to get chai tea instead
    -ate large pack of twizzlers
    -studied
    -more twizzlers
    -considered going to gym
    -decided it was too cold, did yoga in dorm instead
    -caught up on last 2 eps of chicago code

  29. +Hung out with the winnipeg autostraddlers
    +Failed a history midterm
    +Applied for a job
    +Got an apartment for the summer and two parking tickets
    +bitched at my best friend and now he isn’t talking to me

  30. -wrote riese a lot of things on formspring about how it was ok and we still love her and we don’t know any better sometimes, and that it wasn’t going to be forever.
    -got a piercing apprenticeship.
    -acted like a small child when i found out i’d be getting paid for it, too. jealous?
    -proofread so much other people’s shit, i don’t want to proofread mine anymore.
    -wrote a poem.
    -read about ee cummings and cried.
    -listened to sufjan stevens.
    -listened to john wayne gacy jr. while reading about john wayne gacy jr. and cried. don’t do it you guys.
    -ate an entire pound of pineapple gummi bears and drank root beer with vanilla rum while writing a poem about how sad i am when people do mean things.
    -slept a lot.
    -i did not make out with any cute girls. i did not have sex. but i thought about it a lot if that counts

  31. -Went to Italy, thought “has DeAnne Smith posted anything while I was gone?” about 1000 times.
    -Got very upset because I couldn’t go to the meetup.
    -Decided to go to a tumblr meetup.
    -missed tumblr meetup.
    -met a cute girl my age through tumblr, started texting her.
    -went on 4chan to see what it was like
    -found a board that is made of hipsters and some gay people and people FAR too willing to showcase their genitalia online.
    -ate a gigantic tub of ice cream in one hour
    -finally watched Easy A, watched Inception for the 3rd time, cried during both because I was in a plane.
    -started cyber-stalking a tiny island in the pacific (Pitcairn)
    – started reading the book my parents german friends got me for christmas.
    -accidentally posted something with “your” instead of “you’re,” cried over my deteriorating grammar skills.
    -listened to riot grrl at top volume on subway, charted reactions of others (Best song for this: Terrorist by Heavens to Betsy)
    But I missed having no life and reading autostraddle constantly. I need you guys, you’re my enablers.

  32. Watched shit on netflix (funny)
    Worked (yay?)
    Did puzzles in magazines (mind-boggling)
    Listened to music on Pandora (awesome)
    Went to the gym (YAY!)

    **Very happy we’re up and running again :-)**

  33. laneia i feel like you’ll never get this far in the comments but i needed to say that wasn’t the fourth kind SUPER SCARY? i have to try really hard to never think about it ever again because if i do i get too scared

    also i love you all obvs

  34. emailed the cute techy girl in my office to find out if she knew why the internet was killing my soul…went to work…got a new job…played with my cats…made cookies…drank gin

  35. -Skipped the gym x3
    -Downloaded the entire discography of The Killers
    -Fell in love with The Killers
    -Got drunk. Spent the night telling a slightly older man about my cats and past mental health issues and let him buy me drinks.
    -Ran away from the older man when he wasn’t looking
    -Went to almost all of my classes
    -Tumblr forever.
    -Didn’t have sex
    -Didn’t make out with anyone
    -Thought a lot about sex and making out
    -Cried.

  36. I panicked because, at times, Autostraddle would come up but the Deanne Smith article I’d seen but was saving for later was not there anymore. I was worried that it was gone forever.

  37. I left my home in fear that I would break my laptop in a fit of rage…
    While in the outside world, I was asked if I wanted to buy dope…
    I guess I looked like I needed a fix…
    Which I found quaint, because I did…
    I needed my Autostraddle fix oh so very badly…

  38. My first and only thought: “Damn it, you internet!”

    And then as I found Autostraddle on tumblr and twitter, the sun came out for a little while.

    Cheers from Estonia! :)

  39. I watched Riese quit via twitter a lot of times
    started following other Autostraddle people
    wondered how many of them have ever been diagnosed
    wished I had friends just like them
    Tried, unsuccessfully, to figure out how to navigate tumblr
    quit
    ate cookies
    listened to Adele’s new album (LOVED IT)
    caught up on American Idol
    contemplated the existence of Brett Lowenstein
    Started the Hunger Games
    netflixed Series 1 of Skins UK – hated it
    agressively avoided Charlie Sheen
    re-read the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
    felt a desperate need to read Autostraddle posts I would not have read if the links were working – which I’ve since read (you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone, I guess)

  40. Can I please use this space to do a tiny poll about my feelings? While AS was down I felt down as well. Then I did a lot of thinking and made plans about having a dog. God, I love them and I always wanted one. Now that I’ve settled and my live (with a job mostly working from home) finally seems a bit more predictable. My worry is that I will fall for a wonderful girl with a cat that hates dogs…

    My dearest fellow Autostraddles,

    any feelings about that? Do you hate dogs? Do you have a cat that hates dogs? Why are puppies not a lezzy thing like kitten?

    Thank you.

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