It’s New Year’s Eve, which means probably once or twice or maybe five times this past week, someone has asked you if you’re ready / excited for the new year, and what your resolutions are. So we figured we’d just make a party out of it and create an open thread in which we show you ours and you show us yours. Resolutions, that is.
We decided as a team this year that we wanted to move away from negative resolutions. Giving up old habits is great! So is picking up a new, better one. And so, instead of making laundry lists of the things we don’t wanna do anymore, we vowed to make our resolutions about the new stuff we’re doing for ourselves. Instead of giving up Ramen, we’re learning to cook. Instead of giving up the snooze button, we’re waking up earlier to enjoy the fresh air.
In 2016, we’re giving ourselves permission to do stuff we wanna do, on our terms, for ourselves. We advise you to do the same.
Carmen, Straddleverse Director & Feminism Editor
Remember when I repeated over and over to myself in the middle of the night for a solid month that I would figure it out? Well, I’m still kind of stuck on that. And so, I’m committing to spending 2016 trying to assemble my actual best life: establishing a solid morning routine, actually cooking up some of those recipes I’ve pinned over the years, driving around in pursuit of adventure, and trying my darndest to “make it,” whatever that means, as a writer — on my own terms. Also, I am going to tap into my inner bad bitch and serve up more real talk in the new year. Sorry.
Mey, Trans Editor
My resolution is to get a haircut. Like a real one. I haven’t had someone other than a family member cut my hair since 2006.
KaeLyn, Staff Writer
My resolution is to not let my house get so messy that it feels overwhelming. I’ll never be a super neat freak, but I’d like to start a dedicated routine of picking up for just 15-20 minutes each night. It’ll help curb the mess before it gets out of control and ease my culturally-ingrained anxiety when an unexpected guest comes over.
Alaina, Staff Writer
2016 is going to be a year of opulence — within my means. Which means I’m going to find a budgeting system I like and stick to it! I’m graduating in May and hopefully moving to Chicago, but I can’t do that if I’m as broke as I am right now. I have a lot of anxiety about money and spending it, hopefully budgeting will help me overcome that anxiety and be able to live with marginally less anxiety, at least about money. Constant worry about whether or not I looked stupid in front of that cute girl…well, one resolution at a time.
Lyn, Staff Writer
In 2016 I’m going to try enjoying things in the present. I’m always in my head about future plans, and I’ve been working so hard to improve my career and my kids’ childhood that I am constantly stressing and worrying about something. I’ll try to stop and smell the roses and start treating myself better. Breaks are a thing that I should embrace!
Aja, Beauty Editor
This year I’m going to sell my house, move somewhere completely awesome with my incredibly good-looking wife, and try to maintain as much dignity and grace as an empty nester as possible. (Is that possible? I guess we’ll find out! Is making this a resolution a huge mistake? ACK.)
Laneia, Executive Editor
I want to go outside! I spend entirely too much time inside my cute small house and I think it’s killing me. I’m going to find ways to work and live and be outside of buildings.
Maree, Staff Writer
My resolution is to do more of the things I did when I was 13, like make weird collages with things cut out of magazines and have horror movie sleepover marathons and wear platform shoes.
Laura M, Staff Writer
This year I’m going to be honest about the things I want. And say those things out loud.
Aisha, Staff Writer
This year I am going to read a lot. Starting with Riese’s “Things I Read that I Love.”
Nikki, Intern
My resolution is to build a life where I’m currently at. I have spent the last year trying to figure it all out. I’m pretty tired and I just want to be for a bit. I want to create a space that is all me: DIY projects, posters, photos, art and everything else. I’m going to continue to work on me: Eat healthy, work out, try not to go out to eat as much.
Isabel, Staff Writer
2016 is the year I will get back into climbing shape. I used to be obsessed with climbing – indoor and outdoor – and going out and figuring out routes with my friends is some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. New York City life is not as conducive to climbing as I would like, but if I get my strength back, a trip (or ten) to Brooklyn Boulder would really hit the spot.
Yvonne, Senior Editor
This year I will do the things I need to do for myself but keep putting off for reasons unbeknownst to me. Maybe deep-seated fear and anxiety? Probs. I know I’ll find a good therapist who is a woman of color and hopefully ~*understanding*~ of LGBT people and make an appointment to go see her. I’ll also go to the goddamn gynecologist for the first time. Yes, I know! I’ll also apply to grad school!
Riese, Editor-in-Chief and CEO
I want to make conscious — if gradual and experimental — choices every day that contribute to my physical and mental health. Secondarily, it’s gonna be about pushing myself out of my comfort zone and connecting — to my body (workout classes! carefully planned meals! bed-related things!), to my friends (making them visit me! texting them incessantly!) and to my writing. When I talk about my mental health I am often just talking about writing.
Beth, Writer
I want — I need — so badly to readdress my computer time. I have always thought of myself as an outdoorsy, adventurous, engaged person but in the past 18 months, that just hasn’t been me, and now I feel lost and sad and a little dead inside. I’m always sitting at my laptop. So I’m rethinking my whole life-structure-daily-routine-living-space-work-definition-everything to allow me to step away from the computer and get back out into the wind, rain and sun where I belong. It’s so easy to get lost in the digital jungle, especially because I earn my living online, but I feel like I’ve been using that as an excuse to justify getting more and more computer-y. Maybe I had to do that to realise how much I need the elements more than I need a screen. I feel so amazing about making this commitment to my emotional health.
I also want to get these damn mercury fillings out of my mouth because the slow leeching of metal into my system is harming my body! It’s scary. Cue lots of trips to the dentist and using all my savings… sigh.
Chloe, Intern
My resolution is to cook one real meal (that is not pasta) a week. I often work late hours, and can sometimes go days at a time without even walking into my kitchen. When I cook for myself, I feel less overworked and like I’m living at the office, and it turns out I eat healthier too! I’m setting once a week as a hopefully attainable goal that doesn’t feel too hard in any given week.
Crystal, HR Director
This year I’m going to make the most of unemployment. I want to read and learn more, and volunteer my time to good causes. I also want to find ways to fall (more) in love with Chicago and make new friends.
Erin, Staff Writer
This year I’m going to apply how Wynonna Judd approaches her relationship with her mom to every aspect of my life by incorporating patience, breathing techniques, and structured crying while still exercising a firm hand. God I miss their reality show.
Corina, Horoscopes Writer
My sister and I have already declared 2016 to be The Year of Less Processing. I intend to deeply appreciate the people I love (who are sometimes difficult), to appreciate their patience with me when I’m difficult, and to spend less time trying to fix everything.
Rachel, Managing Editor
I feel so embarrassed saying this publicly as, ostensibly, Autostraddle’s books editor, but my resolution is to read more books for pleasure this coming year! I think that I’ve gotten into this rut where I feel like when I read I “have to” read really Important, Big Deal books, which are often dense and emotionally draining, and I have so little free time for recreational pursuits in the first place. So I find myself avoiding books because I feel like they’ll be taxing and I end up watching Master Chef Junior instead. That’s stupid! I’m going to let myself read whatever I feel like, even if it isn’t world-changing — YA! Comic books! Cheesy historical romance! I’m gonna read this year and I’m gonna let myself have FUN doing it.
Kayla, Staff Writer
In 2016, I want to travel more and eat more oysters, because both of those things make me very happy. As for writing goals, I want to finally finish writing the queer action-adventure screenplay I’ve been working on. I also want to learn to let go and be more spontaneous in my everyday life. 2016 will be the year of finding my chill. And oysters. So many oysters.
Carolyn, Contributor
In 2016, I want to relinquish my position as Autostraddle’s Most Eligible Bachelor. This year I’m going to do it a little differently by committing to me. Continue dating myself. Continue spoiling myself. Whoever the mysterious person is that takes me off the market will have stiff competition because I have been an amazing date to myself. I will have a hell of a lot of fun letting people try. ;) I also intend to travel as much as possible so that means more Straddlers posting #selfiesforcarolyn as I ride the rails. I intend to hit as many conferences and Pride celebrations as possible and eat as much good food as I can stomach. I will also get book #2 published. Yes that’s a lot but I’m hella ambious. I have a good feeling about 2016.
Lydia, Fashion/Style Editor
2016 is all about being kinder to myself. Taking time off work, eating healthier (cooking at least one or more meals at home), sleeping with some sort of regularity and not being so goddamn hard on myself. More trips with my lovely GF, laughing so hard that I can’t breath with my friends, and generally feeling the sun on my face. More outdoors, and more relaxation, ‘cause my body is begging me for it.
Carolyn, NSFW Editor
I want to get better at leaving the house and interacting with other people and saying yes and saying no and not having paralyzing anxiety to run the show. I also want to read more books, because there is always room for reading more books.
Brittani, Comedy Editor
My New Year’s Resolution is to Venmo people that say homophobic, sexist, racist, or gender-policing things to me or in my presence that negatively impact my day. I am calling it #VenNo. Everyone is welcome to adopt this resolution as well for their respective identity markers.
Ali, Geekery Editor
Remember how I used to study circus acrobatics? Well life and circumstance conspired against me and I had to stop for a time. I did yoga all summer, almost every day, and all I kept thinking was, “I wish I was standing on my hands.” So I’m watching Lava’s website and as soon as their 2016 class schedule goes up, I’m making it happen! I can’t wait to hold people up again!
Stef, Music/Vapid Fluff Editor
This is it, you guys. This is the year I actually write the solo-ish record I’ve been kicking around and swearing I’d write for the last two or three years. On paper, this past year has been pretty good to me; I landed what is essentially my dream job and have been doing that and almost entirely that every minute of every day. In 2016 I sorely need to figure out the balance between work and a personal life. I want to see friends, I want to go out, I want to play music with other people and who knows? Maybe I can carve out time to date another human being someday.
Maddie, Staff Writer
This year I really want to play music with other people! I play guitar and I even have a banjo in my closet that used to be my grandfather’s, but I could probably count the number of times I’ve played in front of — or even in earshot of — other people on one hand. Every one of those times has been amazing and filled with joy, though, so I’m going to try to make more space in my life for that this year.
Audrey, Staff Writer
2016 will be the year of finding out what it means to be a grownass queer adult in the state that raised me. I resolve to do it with style and grace, learn a lot, and surround myself with love.
Heather Hogan, Senior Editor
This year I’m going to publish a book with my own name on the cover (and not the name of the person I ghostwrote it for), and I’m going to get the fuck outside and out of the city and into the trees where I can smell the dirt and breathe with the ancient things.
Raquel, Intern, Photoshop Troll, Gif Whisperer
This is my first year with my first big-girl job, and I want to suit up. I’ve somehow gotten the hang of waking up and getting to work on time — this year, I want to get to the next level by waking up, actually cooking myself breakfast, AND looking like I put myself together with some degree of care and thought. All on the same day. I believe I can do it. I also want to read 80% books by women!
What are your resolutions? What will 2016 be your year for doing more of, or starting to do? Tell us in the comments! Also, feel free to just talk to us about your life in here, because we’re fascinated by your general existence.
I turn 26 tomorrow!! I’m spending this year figuring out what I want. I’m going to journal and spend time alone and probably read The Secret or something (anyone have suggestions for good books along this line??). Basically I want to get to know myself better this year. And also watch more tv.
happy early birthday! happy early new year! IT’S REALLY ALL HAPPENING FOR YOU I’M REALLY EXCITED
Happy happy birthday! Read Tiny, Beautiful Things by Dear Sugar (Cheryl Strayed) it changed my life/how I think about life.
oh my gosh i LOVED Wild so this is probably gonna happen THANK YOU
Happy birthday!!
I loved Wild too!
I haven’t read The Secret, so I’m not sure if this is exactly what you’re looking for, but here are some cool books about the human brain! (That’s a way of getting to know yourself better, right?)
*The Tale of Dueling Neurosurgeons
*Reaching Down the Rabbit Hole
*My Stroke of Insight (a memoir)
*anything by Oliver Sacks
Also, on a different note, I really like stuff by Mary Roach (Stiff and Gulp) – she’s funny and light-hearted.
And if you’re into fiction, I’ve been enjoying stuff by Lisa Genova (Inside the O’Briens and Still Alice) and Emma Donoghue (especially Room), even though I tend to be more of a nonfiction person.
I don’t really *do* resolutions but I’m gonna do a kind of experiment in 2016 and see if I can adjust my spending habits to be: any non-consumable I buy to be either fair trade/ethically produced or second-hand (should make present shopping interesting!) and try to reduce the amount of consumables I buy from big supermarkets/try to replace them with fair trade/more ethical alternatives.
Goodbye ASOS, my one true love.
an awesome resolution! totally gonna be worth the work, and all the presents will be extra unique / hard to find so really, it’s a win-win.
let’s hold hands and do this together
yaaaaaas pleeeease! i think having a buddy in it would be awesome.
Perfect resolution, Hattie! I love ethical/fair trade shopping and researching the hell out of businesses, hurrah! Check out these awesome sites:
– wearpact.com
– shopgoodcloth.com
– accompanyus.com
– novica.com
oooooh thanks- will bookmark these for later!
Awesome, go you!
Good luck – I love that idea for a goal!
After years of lurking, I’m going to be commenting more regularly. Also, I am going to a-camp NO MATTER WHAT. No more hiding behind being anxious/shy/introverted.
Also also, Philly-area people, we have an amazing new comic shop / coffeeshop in Kensington: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/phillytoast
We should all go.
YES TO CAMP YOU HAVE MY FULL SUPPORT. I WILL SEE YOU THERE. COME AND FIST BUMP ME AND REMIND ME THAT I COMMENTED ON YOUR COMMENT! =)
Campcampcampcampcamp
“After years of lurking, I’m going to be commenting more regularly.”
This is an excellent resolution!
um these are AWESOME RESOLUTIONS. excited to see more of your avatar and then your ACTUAL FACE!
commenting! a-camp! these are GREAT resolutions!! i cannot wait to see what you have to say and to see YOU IN MAY ON A MOUNTAIN!
yes!!! @unleaving i can’t wait to check that comic/coffee shop out!
Yay unleaving!
Yay! welcome to the comments! And I can relate to the A-camp goal. No more hiding or excuses…
Joining you in the comment resolution!
I don’t do resolutions, but I am sending so much love out there to you all for the new year! This year, I want to survive. Survive and write and draw. Survive and write and read and draw. Survive and write and read and draw and maybe find a new job. Ok well now I’m exhausted thinking about it. So maybe just survive. :-)
Oh and buy gloves
gloves are so important. especially the ones with the little finger thingies so you can still use your phone? how do they do that?!
this is pretty much how my entire resolution-writing process goes, so.
I received fleece gloves as a present for Christmas. They are amazing. My perpetually-cold hands have gone from completely freezing to more tolerably freezing.
NEW YEAR!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I think this year I really want to try to push myself to be even more healthier. I still keep making bad choices in the food department so I know i can definitely work on that.
Also Christine will be here AAAGGHHHGHAGAH *small panic attack* so moving out and being adulty and independent are on my to-do list. THIS IS IT YOU GUYS. #RIPLDR
aww no! don’t panic! it’s gonna be so wonderful! #RIPLDR is a hashtag that fills me with boundless joy.
whoops, i jumped the gun and i’m spending new years with a super cute date and a lot of shitty champagne.
MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU STEF
did i get that saying right
Still, that’s booze filled champagne with a super cute date.
correction i don’t know anything about how to buy champagne at a kind of sketchy liquor store, like the kind where you have to tell someone to grab it off the shelf for you cos everything is bulletproof glass, and somehow i ended up with cava, which has bubbles, everything’s fine. there’s booze in that. super cute date.
1. Continue to strive to be a better version of myself.
2. Read a bloody book. One with more words than pictures.
3. Be emotionally present in the lives of others.
i’m so about #1 all the time, also i recommend reading every eileen myles book ever published or otherwise unearthed in the new year.
Thank you. I’ve now added a couple of her books to my goodreads list.
“3. Be emotionally present in the lives of others.” of others! love this
Really embracing the old saying, “any party is a costume party if you want it to be.”
Why have I never heard this saying before? Adding it to my resolutions, ASAP.
please, both of you, send pics all year long, start a hashtag, START A MOVEMENT
once in 2015 i wanted to go to a party but didn’t want to change out of my robe so i wore my robe to the party and that’s my new years resolution.
This is my favorite.
brb revising all of my previous resolutions to this.
This <3
http://www.autostraddle.com/saturday-morning-cartoons-baopu-15-318590/
Sending mad love to you all in your resolutions & celebrations!!!!
YES! i actually think all of yao’s cartoons would make excellent resolutions.
I second Carmen, Yao’s cartoons are all good for goal setting!
I have been waiting for this thread!
I made a massive long tumblr post about how I want to spend the upcoming year, but the gist of it is: be positive, engage more
I just want to do everything *more* – take more photographs, read more books, spend more time off my computer and doing things I enjoy with people I appreciate who appreciate me back
I had to take a year out of uni last year (I came back in September), and I spent almost all my time off, alone, in my room, tumblr-ing about my shitty mental health, and it did fuck all *for* my mental health
So, nah, I’m making an effort to make myself happy and connect myself to the world outside my bedroom and outside the internet
i really love this. reach for those stars! also, what books are you reading. i have a pile of books to finish but i’m already thinking about what to do after i’ve finished them, especially since i might spent some of my year zigzagging across freeways in my car and then sitting in parks alone? who knows.
Right now I’m reading Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman, but I also have a bunch of books about video game art (BioWare games specifically, if anyone wanted to know), and I’m going to take some time with those, because I absolutely adore art-y books, and I almost never sit down with them properly. (That was a very long sentence.)
After that, I’m probably going to join a book club on goodreads so I can read books *and* talk to people about them! Woo!
I will probably not spend some of my year zigzagging across freeways, sadly, because I cannot drive, but I wish you all the best for your park-sitting adventures!
I admire your self awareness! That sounds great, ‘more’ is a great word to start the year with. There’s that whole wild world outside and rather than a scary obstacle course you have to run it’s a bowl of cherries you can stuff your face with at your own speed.
Happy New Year (almost)! I have had a banannas year that has me being old and living in my parents’ house in South Carolina BUT 2016 is a year of transformation. My word for the year is INVITE. I am inviting all the possibilities and taking life day by day. I will make plays and teach people about acting and be ready for what the universe will be throwing my way!
oh well this is amazing
My reading comprehension is not good because I read that you ate a year-old banana whilst living in your parents’ house.
Anywho possibility is amazing! The fact that you can make plays is amazing! Happy New Year!
Get out more! I wasted the entirety on my teens being a sad sack shut-in and I am tired of it. It’s very lonely and boring. Also, maybe learn to drive.
can we learn to drive together? i’ve just been hoping someone gets me a car and a chauffeur every year for christmas since i was 16 and it hasn’t worked out yet so like…i guess i gotta get behind the wheel. i am so pro public transportation though, but being able to go where you want when you want is so convenient at times.
Sure we can. I’m imagining our learning-to-drive montage and it’s great!
learn to drive! learn to drive! LEARN TO DRIVE. my only regret w/r/t learning to drive this year is not doing it sooner. good luck!
Driving is also on my list. We can do it….?!
2016 is about consistency and abundance. I am continuing my conscious pursuit of both, fueled by this good stuff:
1. “You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – LOUISE HAY
2. Make your vision so clear that your fears become irrelevant. Fear is a liar.
3. The opposite of control is trust.
4. Perception is a weapon.
5. It’s time to stop pretending you’re this average person. You have big work to do. BIG WORK.
Happy New Year to all, now go get it!!
in love with #1!! i wanna tattoo it on my hands
3. The opposite of control is trust.
Mate, you hit the nail on the head right there.
this was inspiring and for that i thank you
Oh god, every single thing you shared is spot on. 1 to 3 speak to me the most! Thank you for sharing these. I’m going to add them to my planner now.
1. Speak up more. Say what I’m thinking and feeling. Be more me, even if people don’t like it. Smash the masks.
2. More self-care and self-love. I struggled with perfectionism (and other things, but perfectionism was the cause of them all) and I’m recovering, but I need to learn how to love and care for myself properly.
speak up speak out real talk life!
I thought I was bi up until this year when I started vomiting rainbows… so my plan is to break things off with my boyfriend of 3 years (sorry dude, I love you so goddamn much, but you’re male) and be gay as hell.
I’m just gonna gay it up like crazy. Mega gay. Hella gay.
So excited to be single, get to know myself better at the late bloomer age of 27 (soon to be 28), and meet many wonderful queer ladies. That is, of course, once I stop feeling like a 14 year old boy.
gaying it up isn’t just a resolution. it’s a lifestyle. GODSPEED.
MOS STEF
in 2016 i resolve to ask myself, “what would brittani nichols do?”
important.
you literally STOLE THIS FROM ME and i am okay with it because this is the good word and we must spread it at all costs. #wwbd
New Years Eve is my favorite holiday!! My favorite day of the whole year! My tradition is to watch a lot of movies by myself and eat a lot of good food and drink really good soda. The last two years I haven’t really been able to do that, not alone, but this year, this year is going to be everything I want it to be!!!
In 2016 I want to ‘get myself together’ whatever that means. I want to not necessarily decide what I want to do after college but at least have a couple solid ideas and choices. I want to have a direction or two that I could potentially and excitingly work towards. As well as getting myself together in regards to just figure out what I want in the moment, what I want from relationships with my friends and people in my life, knowing myself.
such good resolutions! we are all always trying to get ourselves together and hopefully we’ll figure out what the hell it means together.
yes to this! i worked so har on trusting and building trust in the universe this year and now i feel ready to make plans. have you by the way read the desire map because that’s the first thing i am doing when i get back to LA in the new year. appraise my desires, then actualitze them. that’s the plan.
I haven’t read it yet! I really need to get it, because from what I’ve read that you’ve written about it I really should read it sometime and I think this year would be a great year to do that. So I will do that, I read it this year and I hope it can help me think about some life plans. YES!
But speaking of reading, and AS reading suggestions, I am about to start reading Golden Boy by Abigail Tarttelin. Which was on some reading list on Autostraddle in 2013, I bought it maybe a year later but haven’t read it yet. I am excited!
I’m all about concrete resolutions, and usually try to find a way to make it something that I can count/track throughout the year. (Read 100 books. Run 500 miles.) That way I can build in a reward system, not unlike the sticker charts that are intended for children. But this year I’m going outside of my comfort zone and am going to have to trust that I’m enough of an adult to follow through.
I want to run a half marathon in less than 2:45, bonus points if I manage sub 2:30. And to make that happen I am going to be mindful of what I eat and diversify my excercise to be stronger (do things other than just running).
I also want to be more reflective and journal regularly. I have always been either a daily journal-er or not touched it for months. I am looking for a sustainable balance between the two moving forward.
Those are good resolutions! I want to try and get into running more, but I think my end goal for now will be like, a 5k, so I am very in awe of you and your goals!
i need to journal more!!!! may you and i have luck in this endeavor.
Yes to running resolutions! I started keeping track of my weekly mileage back in September, and it has made me so much more accountable. My goal this year is to get my 5K time down by about three minutes, so I have to force myself to do more speed work.
my current resolutions: finally fulfill the dream of becoming a lifestyle vlogger w my best friend. Find a healthy balance between school and socializing. Find a good summer internship/intensive. Turn all my college apps in on time. Spend time with my friends and figure out how to stop being so lonely when they’re not around. Be an effective student tech director.
can i watch your vlogs please
hahaha, oh my gosh, everyone’s resolutions are so much better than mine!
I love your resolution! I am 37 and I have never had my hair cut by someone I didn’t know! My mom, my babysitter, and now a friend who lives in a really inconvenient area and doesn’t even do hair anymore really. Sigh.
My resolution is to finally watch the last three episodes of Friday Night Lights. I think I might be ready.
Not my babysitter! A woman I babysat for! She had three boys, like stairsteps! Next resolution: no commenting until coffee.
My resolution is to try new foods/healthier foods because
my vegetarian girlfriend + my ridiculously picky eating habits= a lot of cheese pizza. Don’t get me wrong, cheese pizza is great, but I am here to really live my best life and more toppings on pizza seems like a good way to start.
THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A REPLY. My new resolution is to NOT DO THIS THING ANYMORE.
never apologize for who you are. NEER APOLOGIZE FOR THESE HIDDEN GEMS.
uh i think you’re seriously underestimating how great of a haircut you’re gonna get.
A good haircut is very important, it’s self-care. It’s part of making yourself look how you want to look. It’s relaxing and there’s something really great about finding the right hairdresser for you. It’s like finding the right doctor, therapist etc.
Yvonne! I went to the gynecologist for the first time this year. I found someone who fit my criteria (mainly being female) and made an appointment for the following day. I was nervous, but I told her I’d never gone to one, and she was very patient with me. It wasn’t fun, but I survived! Also, my former therapist, who is a woman of color, moved to Atlanta a few years ago. I wish you lived there, as she’s amazing!
My resolution for 2016 is love. I want to love someone who loves me back. I realize that’s not really a resolution, as it’s not in my power, but it’s my 2016 wish.
sometimes putting our wishes into the universe is the most powerful thing we can do, so.
ahh! that’s my criteria too, @caterrachel! it’s the new year and i’m ready to do it. thanks for your words, i hope 2016 brings you love :D
I think the current one I have is to eat smaller portions. The other one I have is to complain more to app makers who refuse to accept my gender I put down on facebook(like seriously respect it), and maybe get more people to also write in. I also want to do more activities with other queer trans people and not just cis queer people. Also to trans queer up things more.
I think I am just going to spend time at home tonight, but Sunday I am kind of excited to hang out with another queer vegan, so yay there! Plus, I bought purple glitter lip liner and excited to wear it that day!
Hows everyone’s weeks going? It been fairly quiet, but really cold here. Like I need to wear gloves cold. No images to shares(feels like some of the artist are on vacation).
Thank you for reading; and as always have a positive and queer weekend!
oh god no it’s cold there?! it needs to get warmer before i get back to LA! wishing you light love and warmth in the new year <3
For us Angelenos 50degree high is a bit cold, but for others who are use it, it maybe just fine.
In 2016, I’m going to dedicate more energy to doing things I love and find interesting. I’m taking a huge new step in life by moving to Portland (!) with my girlfriend (!) and starting grad school to be a therapist (!!!). I want to create a (well written) blog, read for pleasure more, learn the public transit in Portland and buy a bike. Also sell my car. This is the year I turn 25 so it seems I have a lot of important milestones for the quarter century club, which seems fitting. Oh also go to A Camp again and bask on my queerness more than I already do. Oh oh and make friends in PDX and force myself to leave the house (I have a work-from-home job now).
there’s so many queers in the pdx area, you’ll be homecoming queen in no time. also, congrats on the life changes! they sound very awesome.
For lack of a better way to put it, be a queer lady for real? I *sort of* always knew I was bi, but it took until last spring (at age 24) for me to be like “yes, this is definitely what this is.” And I’m kind of pissed about how long that took (when it seems so blatantly obvious now), so I want to own it so hard in 2016 that I make up for all the years I didn’t. I don’t know all of what that looks like, but I’ll know when I’m doing it. (So much for measurable goals.)
Also, be in my first roller derby bout.
Yes this is good. 2015 is the year that I owned it, and parts of my life are so much better for it.
i am loving these resolutions to put our gayest foot forward. LET US BE THE QUEERS WE ALWAYS DREAMT OF
Ooh roller derby, sweet!
I’m so glad to hear from another 24 year old, I’m in this weird place of knowing how very young I actually am but also feeling like it’s taken a million years to get out of denial and worrying that the local queers will think I’m weird for coming late to it and have to sit through all these stories of their 16-year-old crushes. I know this is totally ridiculous, we are spring chickens and there are so many older ladies coming out at EVERY beautiful age there is.
You own 2016!
I hope you enjoy your first bout! Have you been playing long?
You guys basically listed every iteration of all my resolutions (except for the oysters.) I’ll turn 24 in 2016, and 24 is one of my favorite numbers, so by THAT logic, 2016 HAS to be pretty rad. And I’m gonna make it so.
There’s an actual real chance that I’ll be able to move out of my parent’s house in 2016 with my best friend, so THAT is super exciting. We’re also going on a trip in the spring to visit our friend in Texas, AND we’re going to some kick-ass concerts while we’re there. I’ve also promised myself that this year, I’m going to the STL Pagan festival and STL Pride, because those two parts of my identity are important and why shouldn’t I celebrate that with other like-minded people?
I’m also going to comment on more stuff here, because I love this website so fucking much and everyone is so nice and supportive and just <3
Don’t knock oysters til you’ve tried them. They taste like the sea!
And COMMENTING IS MAGIC
:heart eyes emoji to all of this:
Totally with you on the 24 thing. 24 is such a great number, one of my favourites.
I agree about the oysters. I don’t get the hype.
Hell yeah for 24 in 2016! And intersecting identities! I recently met another queer gender non-conforming Pagan who JUST GOT IT about the difficulties of the heteronormativity in Paganism and that was totally wonderful and validating.
I hope you have an awesome time living and travelling with your friend.
I don’t really have resolutions so much as I have goals/a to-do list. Here’s mine:
– move to a neighborhood I like better
– build a life in this new city I spent all 2015 working to get to
– learn to knit slippers
-make a tiny quilt
– knit a shawl for my mom
– ACQUIRE HATS because the world would be far more interesting if more people wore hats
-maaaybe try dating for real
How tiny a quilt are we talkin?
I’m thinkin cat-sized, maybe.
(Really a lap quilt would be ideal, but I’m just keeping it in the realm of “small” for now because quilting seems really intimidating. It requires so many things!)
“build a life in this new city I spent all 2015 working to get to”
RT
Hats are the best. You look fly and keep you cool/warm. What more can you ask for?
Please post a photo of the quilt after it’s done!
Also, hats are awesome.
I think the quilt is unlikely to be finished until November or December, but that gives me enough time to figure out how to post pictures in the comments!
Oh I love all of these. Do you know about Ravelry? (of course you do, cause you’re so smart). You’ll be sure to find awesome patterns on there. Oh and for your quilt, have a gander at this: http://www.redpepperquilts.com/2012/04/postage-stamp-quilt-tutorial.html
You could make a teeny tiny quilt really easily! I believe in you! You can do the thing!
Oh I’ve got one: get to a point removing the tv from my living room (obvs I will never give up TV but I’d like to get to a point where it’s not the primary focus of the room.) When I was a kid I would get home from school and collapse into a book — I’d love to get back to that habit.
Oh jeez. I am so tired. *Get to a point where I am comfortable removing the tv from my living room.
This is a good one. I can’t move my TV, as my apartment is not that big, but the collapsing into a book is something I could do rather than opening my laptop (after spending all day staring at a computer at work… I still haven’t figured out why I do that)
I know, why do we do that??
Not sure, but I think it’s something to do with operant conditioning.
Remember Pavlov’s poor bloody dogs?
Just keep in mind that it only takes 3 weeks to break a habit. Good luck!
It only takes three weeks to break a habit? Is that true? If so that is super helpful.
oooooooooh this is a good one! i have similarly declared i wil no longer watch netflix at my desk so my desk becomes a work zone versus a frasier zone
For the holiday my wife gave me Thea’s Tarot and I’ve started picking a daily card and journalling, which is a nice morning ritual that I would like to continue. Also I used to do a few minutes of yoga each morning and have gotten out of the habit, so I’m trying to add that back in so morning tea, stretches, card, and journalling.
For the last few years I’ve kept thinking, this is the year I’ll become a parent. Well, it hasn’t happened yet. Not only that but this year for the first time in 10 years there are no little ones in the house. Part of the time I really appreciate the quiet and time for myself. So we’ll see. But we do now have the money to try ivf so that’s a thing.
Starting in August of 2015 I’ve been giving myself more down time. I told myself I could have a year of working less. So I plan on continuing to be nice to myself especially in anticipation of the emotional roller coaster of trying ivf. We’ll see how that goes and then work from there. Maybe more work ambitions for the fall of 2016? Love and kindness.
Oh, and A-camp 2016!
sending you lots of love! this is very exciting!
Thanks!
Ooo I’m going to try the tarot one, thanks for the reminder!
It’s my birthday TODAY! 33 thankyouverymuch. And I cannot wait till 2016… my wife and I have so much life-changing stuff planned for next year and we haven’t told a soul, but it will be big and I can’t wait!
Happy birthday, and good luck to you and yours!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! can’t wait to find out about your secret life-changing stuff. please do keep us updated in our open threads!!! <3
Thank you both! And I will.
?????Happy Birthday! ?????
I’m going to do things other than work all day and sit on my couch all evening. I’m not sure how to do that yet, but I’m sure as hell going to try.
I’m going to try to stop equating “a social life” with going out all the time. I’m going to believe my girlfriend when she says that just because I want to be a homebody doesn’t mean I can’t have friends. It’s okay to hide in my house sometimes, and people will still love me.
I’m going to work harder to keep in contact with those people who love me, even though they’re all hundreds of miles away, and I’m not going to worry about losing touch with nearby acquaintances seem to not love me, because it’s just not worth it.
I’m going to a new doctor on February 15, and I’m going to ask her whether she thinks I need to see a therapist, or whether I’m just a hypochondriac.
And also I’m going to try to rebuild the confidence my girlfriend says I have lost over the past several months.
100% of these things are directly related, and that’s scary because it feels like if I don’t achieve one of them, I won’t achieve any of them. But then if I succeed in one, the rest will follow, right?
i think we might be soul twins just saying
Hey Amanda, you got this :) I am also struggling with the work, couch, repeat. It is so hard to do other stuff after work, but so draining to just work and watch TV.
As for a therapist, if you want one, go for it. I love therapy, and having someone outside any situation to bounce perspectives off of has helped me gain so much insight. There are a couple of free options around us too.
My resolution is to try new foods/healthier foods because
my vegetarian girlfriend + my ridiculously picky eating habits= a lot of cheese pizza. Don’t get me wrong, cheese pizza is great, but I am here to really live my best life and more toppings on pizza seems like a good way to start.
(I accidentally posted this as a reply further up the thread. Despite spending all my time on the internet, I’m not very good at the internet.)
Also my bro in law is totally excited to drink tonight. Last year my coworker gave me a bottle of jack daniels that we drank by ourselves. This year his sis and her fam are in town and his nephew. On Xmas they were at the house and he was all “get your liver ready for new years eve!! Party! Bring our friend Jack!!”
So…..traditions?!
I hope when I eventually get a bro in law, he is that cool.
Fingers crossed!!!
umm clearly the best tradition
Can I talk about 2015 for a minute? Because 2015 was my best year yet. My niece was born, I graduated grad school and got my first “career job,” and best of all, I married my boo and being married is so amazing. I just love this girl so much, and I can’t believe we get to be together every day.
And maybe I’m way off, but I have a feeling 2016 is going to be even better.
I hope everyone gets the year of their dreams this year.
❤️????
awww yay! i am so glad you had a great year. here’s to an even better one!
2016.
No more weighing myself.
Every time my inner voice says something that brings me down I am simply going to think, “it’s okay, I forgive you.”
Learn to be kind to myself.
Show my girlfriend more love and appreciation as opposed to falling into habits of taking her for granted.
wonderful resolutions, all! throw your scale out and never look back, i promise it changes everything in the best way.
In 2016 I will graduate! And hopefully get into grad school! And even if don’t it will be okay!
I want to read more, be outside more, eat more things that grow on trees and in the ground, and I want to apply for as many exhibitions and grants and residences as I want without being afraid of rejection.
“And even if don’t it will be okay!”
^ Can I have this printed and hung on a wall in every room of my life please?
As a person who didn’t get into graduate school the first time I applied, you’re right. It will be okay. Because when you do get in, you’ll have the most amazing cohort and the universe was just WAITING to give you the people you’re going to take with you through your academic life.
Keeping it simple this year:
– continue quest to find and read all lesbian SciFi ever
– make my back not hurt/prioritise health more
– make time every day for creative projects outside of work, even if it’s just five minutes
– comment frequently and fearlessly
Do you have a place where you chronicle your quest for lesbian scifi? I’m always looking for more things to read.
@ashurredly well, writing some sort of round-up has been in my mind, although that would probably fall under the category of those creative projects I am resolving to make time for!
Here’s what I’ve read so far, the first five I would recommend unreservedly:
Slow River – Nicola Griffith
Planetfall – Emma Newman
Ancillary Justice/Sword/Mercy – Anne Leckie (not outright lesbian but most people’s gender is obscured, so you can project gayness onto everyone)
Solitaire – Kelley Eskridge
Negative Space – Kelley Eskridge
Ammonite – Nicola Griffith
Principles of Angels – Jaine Fenn
Cognate – Cleo Dare
And here’s what I have coming up:
Trouble and Her Friends – Melissa Scott
The Fortunate Fall – Raphael Carter
The Cure for Everything – Severna Park
Random Acts of Senseless Violence – Jack Womack
With Her Body – Nicola Griffith
Spin State – Chris Moriarty
The Windup Girl – Paolo Bacigalupi
The Female Man – Joanna Russ
A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet – Becky Chambers
The Sardonyx Net – Elizabeth Lynn
Machine – Jennifer Pelland
Door Into Ocean – Joan Slonczewski
Smoketown – Tenea D Johnson
Salt Fish Girl – Larissa Lei
The Child Garden – Geoff Ryman
Priorities – Linda Lyons
Also, various anthologies:
Bending the Landscape: Science Fiction
Bikes in Space I/II
Pedal Zombies
Worlds Apart
Heiresses of Russ 2012
Lightspeed: Queers Destroy Science Fiction
The Future is Queer
If you have any recs of your own or generally want to discuss lesbian scifi, feel free to message me!
Hey guys.
First thanks to the people who wished me happy birthday last week and i never got back to. I wasn’t ignoring you, promise. I’m sorry i didn’t reply directly to your comments.
Things between dad and dog have gotten worse. This is the third day in a row that something has happened, and it was the worst today. I’m hoping the trainer can come this weekend. I’ve cried a lot, and i slept all day just to escape and because I felt so miserable.
Thankfully I’m being allowed to go out tonight, so hopefully I’ll get really drunk. I’m not looking forward to 2016, honestly. I don’t feel like I’ve got any hope for life left.
Your official downer,
Caitlin
I hope that 2016 manages to surprise you, and that you regain at least a little of the lost hope.
That’s really kind of you, but i dont think it’ll happen. It’s already really bad and im not planning on living much longer. But thank you
Hey Caitlin, no matter what is going on, change is possible…things will not always stay the way they are now (spoken by a person who went through massive depression/suicidal thoughts for 10 years).
You will pull through. Here’s a big hug for you!
caitlin, just dropping in to say it will get better and i’m sorry it sucks and i like having you around and want you to stick around. okay? okay. much love <3
2016 Resolutions
– Actually start exercising again
– Learn to cook for myself
– Spend more time with/ make friends
Hope everyone has a good New Years and a great start to 2016!
i wish we could all learn how to cook together
HELLO BEAUTIES.
I don’t especially have new year’s resolutions, though I did sign up for two months of yoga classes 3x/week, because movement practice?
And also to continue to build my business. I did a bunch of things this year like letting myself be only a therapist as opposed to therapist + some bunch of other weirass jobs and trying to make new friends that feel like a better fit for what I’m growing toward and getting a really huge teapot for christmas.
plus I got married and licensed and finished my Saturn return, so that was big.
I don’t know, I don’t feel like a huge buildup or release or much really, but feeling pretty good about 2016, if for nothing else because it’s a whole bunch of I Don’t Know What’s Coming Next.
Have a really lovely NYE, please be safe everybody!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQPvgHEMCFs
This year I am converting to Reform Judaism! And maybe going to Israel! And conducting a study on new ways of diagnosing autism and presenting my research at professional conferences! And trying to get better at having difficult conversations in my marriage without screaming and crying! Wooooo!
Welcome to the Tribe!
Thank you!
L’chaim!
Things for the New Year:
– make a reasonable number of plans, instead of making 6 plans in a row and then nothing for four months (see below, but also see my entire life)
– have some sort of work/life balance maybe???
– start working out regularly! Eventual goal: control PCOS through a combination of a healthy diet and exercise/ so I can try to get off these damn birth control pills
– move OUT
– brush my damn teeth even if I’m feeling depressed
– DRAW MORE, MAKE MORE
How are you guys?? I really like everyone’s resolutions!
The past few weeks have been:
dec 23 – 20 person birthday dinner (for me!! I’m 27 now!) which I helped cook
dec 24 – 20 person christmas eve family dinner which I mostly cooked
dec 25 – 20 person christmas family dinner which I did not cook /thank goodness/
dec 26 – gf holly’s family boxing day lunch for which I assembled one dish for a potluck, on the way to the potluck, in the car, on my lap (reasonable)
YEESH. So now it’s new years eve and I was NOT going to throw a party I was just going to show up to someone else’s party and do nothing but OOPS nope I’m…totally having a party. BUT It’s a mellow slumber party so whatever. I’m totes still cooking for it though. Also I’m hosting my two friends’ joint birthday party and holiday gift exchange on saturday, and I’m going to do some proper cooking for that too. But I am excited!!!! This time of year is always crazy, but also really fun! And I’ve found that as long as someone does most of the dishes, I’m fine with cooking :)
Next Saturday my mum and I are going to Japan!! For two weeks!!! AHH YAY! We’re going because it’s been three years since we started FLCS and it’s gotten better each year and we’re going to buy a lot of crafting/floral supplies! Anyone
possibly more later but for now, gotta go get groceries! <3
Cooking is always better when someone else does the dishes.
Your pot luck assembly effort sounds totally reasonable/admirable.
Have an amazing time in Japan. Hope your new year slumber party is awesome :) big fan of a chill night in to welcome the year.
Jane – buy an electric toothbrush and watch your oral (hygiene) life change.
wow Japan!
It’s already 2016 in Australia, and I’m moving to a new city/state tomorrow, so this new year currently feels a little scary/disorganised. Pretty sure it can only improve though.
Once I find a new home, 2016 is going to be the year of Fit Ellen.
And of course instead of packing, I have spent the last half hour posting more comments on AS than I have in the last six months.
Good luck with your move and being Fit Ellen!
I totally sympathise with avoidance behaviour too.
I just found out I got the full time job of my dreams, and I’m going to be packing up the home I’ve made for myself in the only town I’ve ever lived in and move two hours away and it’s terrifying. I’m supposed to start in about 3 weeks. eek.
However, I really think this is the change I need and 2016 is going to be my year.
My only resolutions are to move 2 hours away with minimum fighting between family members, get rid of my twin sized bed and buy an adult sized one, and come out to my mother. Not all not he same day.
2016 is going to be amazing for you. Sending you lots of luck for all of it.
Folks I kept last years resolution for the most part, this year I’m going to try and keep it completely. So I will continue not buying clothes for my upper body from chain stores/major websites.
I am also going to try and increase my creative output outside of work to hopefully start building a new direction for my life/career.
It’s 23:45 here in the UK, have a great New Year, all the best for ’16. *raises glass to you all*
2016 will be the year I remove my “pining” status.
Failing that, 2016 will be the year I pet more dogs than I pet in 2015.
Failing *that*, 2016 will be the year I sell at least one photo print on my Redbubble.
Failing all of the above, maybe 2016 will be the year I beat all the Dragon Age and Mass Effect games? I dunno.
All of these goals sound totally achievable.
Drangon Age, and Mass Effect are worthy adversaries, I’d move them up the list :) I have only just started ME, having played ME2&3 to main quest and most sides completion, due to a VERY long term loan by missus to her best bud. It may take me until 2017 to complete…its hideously awkward but I kind of love it’s clunky self.
What is your redbubble? I have a wall I need to fill up and a pretty picture would be a perfect addition!
(Super-late with this, but) http://www.redbubble.com/people/l33tsaber
Adding “pet more dogs” to my list of resolutions.
Also, how do I look at your prints? I’m moving and need some decorations for my new place.
I was going to make a resolution to come out to my mom in 2016… but then I did it yesterday because it suddenly became harder not to. I feel so relieved!
So in 2016, I’m determined to get out of the city more, to quieter places.
Congrats!
Congrats, that’s awesome news!
CONGRATULATIONS :)
Get paid, get laid.
And get to a local Autostraddle meetup! I keep missing them!
I want “get paid, get laid” to be my motto this year.
http://i.imgur.com/x6iJPHP.jpg?1
http://i.imgur.com/x6iJPHP.jpg
Vegan Nut Roast I made! This year I’d like to try making more vegan and veggie dishes that taste great! And I’ve already been onto this in 2015- I finally made the raw oat groat cookies and bulgar salad and they were both very delicious. I also want to invite a friend over for dinner, sleep more soundly, and read Buddhist meditations every now and then.
Def:
Get the best VR and a full, inc graphics, 6th gen rig.
Maybe:
Could turn up to AS London for a change if it still exists.
Could get married to gf (but probably 2017, because i have to have one up on my brother and that costs money which i am short of because see previous paragraph).
My 2016 is (hopefully) about three things.
1. Make better food choices. I love to cook and this year I just didn’t do it. It wasn’t good for my mental health, my body or my bank balance. I’m very much in the habit of eating out a lot, and I would like to cook instead. Also eat foods that are kind to my body, instead of eating things that disagree with me and being like, oh it’s okay. Food is supposed to give you life, not pain.
2. Figure out what I want. Soonish I will be 25. Since finishing high school, my life has been a series of poor mental health and doing stuff because it’s sort of what I “should” be doing. I finally went to college and actually nailed it these past two years. But now I’m not even sure if I really want to use this degree, work in that field. What does my best life look like? Here’s hoping I paint that picture in 2016.
3. Sort out my finances. It’s time for me to stop sticking my head in the sand about money. Make a budget, stick to it, save some money and pay off my credit card.
Also, maybe learn to drive. And if the stars align, hopefully attend a camp.
It’s 2016 here!
Main goal this year: FREEDOM. I had to move back to Malaysia last August coz of visas and job stuff and I’m not happy, mostly because there’s nothing in this part of town and I’m missing a lot of support. I’m doing the best I can but this is not a sustainable situation.
I made a website to get people to help me on my quest – come join me :D
Also I have a zillion planner stickers and I’ve already started decorating my planner! I wish I had a functioning printer so I can print out my own.
Your website is amazing! I’ve often thought I needed something like that to sell myself a bit beyond a CV but never actually acted on it.
Good luck! Will def keep my eyes open for any opportunities that suit you. :)
Thank you :D
Haircut! That’s a good idea actually. I always cut my own hair, and I haven’t had a professional haircut in… 5 years I think. Maybe I’ll treat myself to one before starting grad school this fall.
I’m terrified and also really optimistic and excited about 2016. If everything goes as hoped, there will be lots of changes. I’m afraid of change and afraid to stay still. A lot of times I feel stagnant, stuck, afraid of getting old, afraid of losing my youth. (Yes, at 26. Not old per se, just not a kid anymore. Like, I should have more direction at this point in my life).
Goals for 2016 (or 2017 and beyond:
I don’t really make new years resolutions per se, just general goals. January 1st seems like an arbitrary date to me.
*Attend a-camp!?
*Go ziplining
*Come out to parents. I was sure I would by now, but I still haven’t and I don’t know what’s stopping me. Maybe they already know? I mean, I’m 26 and have never had a boyfriend or expressed any interest in men. I think my parents are pretty non-judgmental, but I also grew up in a fairly homophobic environment, so I’m not sure. But I think they’ve changed. We’ve all changed. I guess I’m just scared that it would scar our relationship somehow. It’s not that I think they wouldn’t love me, but that we wouldn’t be as close or they would think differently of me, not in a good way.
*START GRAD SCHOOL!!
*…Which means moving yet again. I’m excited to start grad school but sad about moving. I’ve moved around a lot in the past few years, but this is my favorite apartment I’ve ever had!
Looking back at 2015, I’ve actually accomplished a lot, even though it doesn’t feel like it. But now, I see that this has actually been a pretty big year – even if 90% of the days feel routine and largely unproductive. Because I like to brag, here are a few 2015 goals that I achieved!
*Applied to grad school!!!
*Attended and/or hosted autostraddle meetups and made new friends in the queer community! :D
*Bought a smartphone (I know, I know. I’m a decade late. But now I love it and can’t imagine life without it.)
*Consumed a lot of books and hiked a lot of miles
And on an unrelated note: snow photos!
These are pictures of a snowy holiday hike through the fishbowl lens for my phone that my brother gave me as a Christmas present:
Totally with you on the coming out to parents thing. I’m out to everyone except my family. My brother is aware and totally cool, and has been awesome about not telling my mum. I sometimes wonder if my mum knows but then at other times, I think she has no idea. I didn’t grow up in a homophobic environment per se, but with an older mother from a different generation. She’s evolved a lot, but then still says off little things about being gay. I don’t know.
Wow, the black and white scenery through the fishbowl lens is gorgeous!
Long time listener, first time caller! I’m going through a breakup, and moved into my own apartment today. I’ve never lived by myself before, and it’s scary/exciting. This year, I plan on getting to know my true self for maybe the first time. I went straight from a 7 year relationship to a 2 year. I need to be single and figure myself out. I’m putting together ikea furniture by myself for the first time, listening to music, and drinking champagne. Seems like a good start! I can’t wait to get my cat from my ex. She’s been kind enough to take care of her for a week, but I’m worried she will make it difficult to get her back.
My 2015 resolution was to try new things and not keep doing the same old shit and it worked out well so I want to continue that into 2016.
My 2016 specific resolutions are to be more authentic and not embarrassed by who I am, which is difficult living in a foreign country where my accent etc. makes me stand out all the time. I hate that feeling and have been trying to hide how foreign I am and just blend in but in the process I feel like I’ve lost a part of who I am.
I also want to continue doing more social stuff and working on stuff in therapy (“for real” this time). I almost want to say “let things go” and “not take stuff so seriously” but that would require a fundamental change in who I am as a person.
2016 Resolutions: Do what I want because I’m a grown up; Don’t put other people’s needs ahead of mine, except for my boys (8 year old twin sons).
Happy New Year, Americans!
It s 5:30 in most of Europe, and I’ve thankfully, just arrived home.
We went to a *rooftop party* facebook thing a friend of a friend invited us to, which was nice in a spectacular way, at around midnight, but I ended up at this straight, impersonal Loft party with my gay friends and that was just very disturbing if you’ve ever even heard of the word feminist from a distance.
Imagine being thrust into a straight tinder app version in real life.
And I genuienly do not believe that Tinder works for straight people..
My friends and I might have held hands and thanked God for making us gay at one point.
We were also the only people having fun and not trying to hook up with tools the entire night.
Anyways, it was very disheartening.
Everyone looked kind of the same,too?
It was a loft, but everything was from Ikea ,btw..
My lesbian friend and I moved on to a lesbian party *to cleanse ourselves* , later and when we arrived, I just wanted to hug everyone on the dancefloor.Especially the girls in top hats and bowties.
When did straight parties go from “chilling and drinking and discussing the world while raiding the buffet” to “I must find someone asap, and if I’m a female I’ll be grateful for any douche with a dick hitting me up”?
Going out gay was SUCH a relief!
Another thing I’ve realized tonight after arriving at the gay party?
I must have heard “Isla Bonita” so many times by now, I’ll probably just feel drunk and three in the morning as a Pavlovian response, whenever I will randomly hear it.
Happy New Year, everyone!
Let’s hope it’s a good one,eh?
xoxo
Well I came out at the very end of this year. I’ll be beginning to transition in 2016!
Hurray! Very best of good things to you.
you guys. Tomorrow, I move to a new house, out of the apartment I’m sharing with my ex (cuz LA real estate). I’m gonna start a new job, and I just moved to LA a few months ago. I’m so pumped! Also terrified!
I’m 2016, I want to better manage my time so I can do the things that make me happy – music, books, more music. Also, to make friends and go out to some bars! Yes, I feel more bar time would be good for me. Much love to you straddlers, and to this website for being a great gal pal during my weirdo transition time!
Yes, yes to time management to do things that you happy! I looked back over the year and realized that between reading for school and comics (and, uh, copious fanfic) I had not read one single actualfacts book the entire year. And being a reader used to be such a huge part of who I was.
More conscious use of time and more fun things!
So tomorrow will mark the anniversary of being the first gay/lesbian member of my family to openly come out to all of my family, and I have spent the last year dealing with everyone’s reactions (the good, the bad, and the ugly) getting a divorce, trying to get my stuff in order, being frustrated and upset with the ugly and complain about it to my patient friends, failing at finding the courage to talk to the really cute girl who works in the front office, and finding myself (a work still in the process).
So tonight I am going to have a glass of wine, watch a movie, go to bed, then wake up next year and start building the life for the me I started finding last year. I am no longer going to complain about the ugly because I am thankful I was lucky enough to find more good than ugly , and there are many out there not as lucky as I in that respect.
My resolution is to do more things just for the hell of it, instead of having tunnel vision on things that will have long-term benefits for me. I’ve ruined too many relationships and missed out on too many things that I wanted to do in order to just reach my next goal, and I’m finally learning how to relax a little more and not be so goal-oriented. (I know… I’m probably the only person in the world whose resolution is to be LESS goal-oriented!!)
Also, this’ll be my first year being out (I came out this summer) so I also want to be more involved in the queer community!
My biggest resolution/to-do item for 2016 is to find a permanent place to live!
I almost bought a house over Christmas buuuut the survey flagged up so many serious issues that it’d probably be cheaper to just bulldoze the place and start over. I wouldn’t mind fixing it up myself because I grew up living in renovation projects so the work doesn’t faze me, but the guy who owns the property was a real pain in the arse over price (I only managed to get £1k less than asking price to begin with, despite being a cash buyer with no chain!) so I honestly don’t see him dropping the extra £40k+ I’d need to get all the work done. :c
On the plus-side, even though it’s going to take longer than I hoped I might be able to find a better place to live now! Keeping my fingers crossed for that much, at least.
I hope you all had a good NYE and that 2016 treats you well! \o/
Oh, and hopefully once I’m settled I’d like to arrange an AS meetup!!!
Not sure if there’s many straddlers local to my area but it couldn’t hurt to try, right?
That’s a great goal, definitely try! I think I’ll start by trying to be more internet brave and make some more autostraddle friends.
@samantha1002 Thanks, I will! :) Increasing internet bravery is also a brilliant goal! Once you break out of lurkerdom it seems odd that you ever were one… at least that’s my experience anyway, haha!
Good luck with your house hunt and have a Great New Year.
@pussiesbow Thanks so much! I hope you have a lovely one too. c:
I’m going to show my girlfriend I love her daily, go to all of my personal training sessions at the gym, take my dog on longer walks, pay more than I charge on my credit cards, stay sober, visit my grandma, and trust more
I dropped a lot of my precious energy on romantic misadventure in 2015, and I learned a few things about myself and what I’m looking for in the process. First of all, my worth is not dependent in the least on how another person treats me. That being said, here’s a list of things I will not tolerate from new or potential lovers in 2016:
*emotional unavailability
*lack of verbally articulated interest in me
*48+ hour texting response time
*more than four date cancellations in a row
*unwillingness to discuss uncomfortable topics
*unwavering commitment to cis/heteronormativity
*insensitivity — toward me or the world at large
*unchecked alcoholism
*poor listening skills
*poor hygiene
*elitism
*any behavior or trait not otherwise specified which would make me feel rejected, used, unappreciated, or trivialized.
I know what I’m worth in a relationship, be it casual or deeply entangled. I’m affectionate, independent, empathic, consent-literate, caring, attentive, emotionally intelligent, and freshly-bathed. I’m a fucking hot pan-poly-switch, an open-hearted lover, and when conditions are met I am excellent in bed. But I don’t have much time or energy to spare, and in 2016 I won’t be wasting it on putting up with, chasing after, or pining for anybody, no matter how cool they are. This’ll be the year of you-come-to-me… but I won’t be holding my breath. I’ve got a hoard of lovely friends, a badass anchor partner, steadfast cuddly pets, and a brand new vibrator. Whoever you are, I seriously don’t need you, so you’d better be worth it.
I want to finally come out to my family as bi and questioning my gender. Maybe get a suit so I can dress for formal occasions without stress. I don’t know, I also want to learn to play bass and finish my application for a local school. My current school really isn’t cutting it.
I support the “buying a suit” thing. I can attest to how much better it made me feel when I finally just gave up on even attempting to wear dresses at formal events. Like, SO MUCH BETTER. You won’t believe it. So worth it. Go forth and suit up, young queer!
I intend to:
1) continue plan to rehab neurotic dog (hyperaware, reactive, choose your term; shiny floors, sizzling pans, TVs, shadows, stairs…)
2) secretly poster the world with flyers promoting a) the bacon recall (google it); b) following leash laws.
3) do more work rather than pretending to do work but actually futzing around not doing work like reading AS.
4) mop more often.
5) go on some more dates. maybe make this a yearly habit: at least 3 people (assuming none of the three truly stick for any length of time– if someone lasts, the number can be thrown out).
Only 2 and 4 will require concerted effort. 1 and 3 are likely given. 5, well, I may or may not actually be committed to that one.
I love your username. :)
Late to this party as per but my resolutions are: move to London and find out my blood type (so I can donate blood and also it seems like good info to have?)
I’ve a few goals for this year, and I’m pretty good at keeping them. So!
1) Going to get STRONG. I’ve braved the weightroom at my new gym and started a lifting programme.
2) Do a handstand! I can’t currently do a handstand. I really want to because they’re cool and all. “Cool and all” is a great reason to do a thing.
3) Date someone seriously. I would love to meet someone amazing who thinks I’m amazing! I want to be all girlfriended up this year.
4) Embrace being 30 and over all of that 20-something bullshit. Or most of it. Or at least an increasing amount of it.
I don’t know if they’re resolutions if I know they’re gonna happen, but I AM MARRYING MY PARTNER in like a week, and then we’re moving to Stockholm to start a whole new life and I have no idea how it’s gonna be apart from probably great. Hey Stockholm Straddlers, let me know if ya wanna hang
Congrats on the marriage and move! :D
Subtracting stuff is for Lent, adding stuff is for New Years is what growing up in the Rosary Belt formed my wee mind to think long ago.
But like Lent I’ve never really done New Year’s resolution before. I’ve thought of things I should probably do or not do before and maybe once jokingly gave up going to Mass for Lent, as if I went anyway.
I think if I tried to make resolutions it would become just a list of things I should do, stuff I’m already trying to do, and things that just will not get done.
Mostly stuff that will not get done and short words of things that are massive that’ll take years, not a year.
But mostly stuff that’ll not get done.
So many good resolutions here. My main goal is to learn how to drive, and to start looking for a job related to my science degree. I am also going to take a much needed break from consumerism for as long as I can handle, make a dentist appointment, and generally attempt to be more social and less anxious (maybe, MAYBE go on an actual date? but – not sweat it so much?). It’s also going to be a year of big inevitable changes: I will get my undergraduate degree, and I have to find a new place to live in autumn. Oh yeah, and I want to buy a set of dumbbells and get strong arms! Because my arms are puny and pathetic compared to my beefy bicycling legs.
My resolution is to stop constantly saying “‘i’m sorry.”
To say “Thank you for listening to me” instead of “Im sorry I’m rambling.” To largely eliminate the word “sorry” from my vocabulary. Obviously there are times when an apology is called for, and I will (hopefully) do that when it’s needed, but this whole constantly apologizing for existing in the world thing? Not any more.
I’m not sorry for voicing my opinions, or being knowledgable or having ambition. I’m not sorry for my body, my attitude or my clothes. I’m not sorry for taking up space and being as me as I can possibly be.
This year I’m going to do and be and live and not apologize for one second of it.
#notsorry
I always write out a bunch of goals for things I want to do in the coming year–the goal isn’t necessarily to do 100% of those things, but it’s just to commit to paper/the internet things that I’ve been kicking around wanting to do for a while and solidfying ideas into one single list.
And then it’s cool to see what I actually did over the year. It’s just a really easy concrete way to see what I’ve accomplished, and it helps me keep perspective.
My list this year is a lot of kayaking things–now that I have a playboat I really want to get into freestyle and throwing tricks that I can show off. Other gems include “get a job”, “apply for grad schools in the fall”, and “learn to knit socks.
Read lots more books!! Just read The Winter of Our Discontent and Voices from Chernobyl. Started on Grapes of Wrath.
My main New Years resolution is to do more things so that I have actual life experiences to look back on one day, rather than just excellent TV shows and very comfortable blankets.
On that note, its 30 days until my girlfriend and I go to New York together! I’m sure a 14 hour flight will prove whether we can stand to be together :P
If any of you guys live in NYC and want to hang out/show us some cool places/whatever, let me know! I would love to meet some queers when we go :)
I was really missing my wife when she left me for someone else. I was weak to take care of some situations and i let her slip my arms. I had to talk to my partner at the office who recently got her husband back. She told me to get in touch with John Patience who helped her get her husband back with a love spell. I was very sure of this because John has helped my partner get her husband back. So i called John Patience and told him i lost my lover and wanted her back. He encouraged me and told me to be happy. He did his thing and told me my wife will be back in 45 hours. I waited for that time and my wife called me and told me that she has forgiven me and ready to take me back in her life. Since then, my wife and i have been enjoying our marriage with our lovely 4 kids. I am very grateful to John for what he has done for me. I’d advice you to ask him for help if you have any problem on your relationship and some other aspects of life. His email is [email protected] :)