New Year’s OPEN THREAD: Resolution Party Time

This is it! The very last night of 2012. Was 2012 better than 2011 or 1912? Will 2013 be the year that I finally get the treehouse I’ve wanted since infancy— conception even? Will we see you at A-Camp? Who will come out in 2013? Will we all be able to get married? How many  parties will you remember?


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Only time will answer these questions, so today let’s focus on what we did and what we wanna do. For the record, 2012 was the most amazing fucking year ever, thanks to you and you and YOU, and we’re so excited for 2013’s redesign (and Alex Vega’s ass tattoo, duh) that we can hardly stand it!  Some of us on Team Autostraddle are the kind of people who don’t really do resolutions, and some of us make new resolutions every week and write them on our walls with Sharpies. Here’s what’s in our hearts on this final day of 2012 — things we’re resolving and things we’re leaving behind.

“My resolution for 2013 is to be a ball of sunshine.”
Riese, Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief

“I suddenly realized in 2012 that everything I’d already done was over, and that today would be over by tomorrow, and while that sounds really melodramatic, it’s actually super exciting and liberating, like I can finally freak out about being alive every day. So to celebrate, each day I’m going to take two pictures of these amazing weirdo people in my life — one in the morning and another at night — and then turn those into a (probably expensive) book at the end of the year. Even when we’re dirty or grumpy or broke or tired or maybe so happy we could melt, I’m going to take a picture of us. I want to remember it all.”
Laneia, Executive Editor

“This year I resolve to find a happy medium between the persona I have when I am single and when I’m relationshipped.”
Naimah, Intern

“I want to get my handstand without a spotter.
I don’t mean I want to get a perfect handstand or get a handstand for very long without a spotter. What I mean is I want the courage to put myself in an upside down position without anyone to catch me if I fall. When I ask people who have really lovely handstands how long it took them to get there, the answer is usually somewhere in the range of 4 – 7 years. I’m only on year two. But I can get my toes off the wall about half the time. And basic, tiny, just about insignificant but measurable concrete actions are the way to spectacular, grand, really amazing lives, skills and stories. Perhaps my New Years Resolution is about the ongoing process of learning that everything is an ongoing process. 
Or maybe it’s just about a handstand.”
Ali, Contributing Editor

“My biggest resolution is to get better at cooking so I make more food at home, because eating out in Boston all the time is just too expensive. I will possibly do this with the aid of the many Get Baked articles I’ve bookmarked.”
Rose, Contributor

“My New Year’s Resolution is to become better about time management and stop fucking procrastinating everything and becoming a lunatic at the last moment and crying into my pillow when things aren’t working because I’ve left them to the last moment. But for real real this time.”
Hansen, Contributing Editor

“My resolutions for the new year are to go to bed before 4am on weeknights and also to learn to code, which I think directly conflict with one another but January 1 is all about unrealistic goals & expectations so it’s fine!”
Vanessa, Contributing Editor

“This year I’m looking for motivation, for reasons instead of prohibitions. Because, seriously–how much could I do if I just let myself?”
Kenzie, Intern

“My resolution for 2013 is to put greater effort into socialising and making new friends.”
Crystal, Music Editor

“My resolution for 2013 (and 2012 and 2011) is to finally organize all of the files on my computer rather than continuing to leave everything in my 728GB ‘Downloads’ folder, sorted into subfolders with names that no longer have any meaning to me (e.g. ‘that-onetime4’, ‘NEVERAGAIN’, ‘ghostmouse’).”
Geneva, Intern

“My New Year’s resolution is to remember to breathe, and shake the dust.”
Daniela, Intern

“Resolution for 2013: Keep up with my reading”
Julia, Intern

“My resolution is to be more consistent in my yoga practice. I’ve been doing yoga since I was 13 (I am now 21) and although I can do quite a few advanced positions, I still have problems with inversion (hand stands and shoulder stands). My goal this year is to be able to do a handstand.”
Devin, Intern

“In 2013, I resolve to stop putting everyone else’s needs in front of mine and remember that I’m important too.”
Chelsey, Intern

“Resolution: Go femme.
Okay, so I don’t actually believe that one can merely “go” butch or femme–you are what you are, and what I am is an androgynous weirdo. But I realized earlier this year that my androgyny really isn’t 100% organic, not-from-concentrate androgyny unless I’m willing to embrace a traditionally feminine aesthetic with the effortlessness that I embrace the masculine and gender-neutral ones. I never really learned how to apply eye shadow or French braid my hair as an adolescent. Turns out, this is a great thing! In 2013, I’m finally going to explore what it means to be femme on my own queer terms of service instead of those laid out by Seventeen Magazine and my peers.”
Fonseca, Contributing Editor

“I’m gonna stop letting people who posture on social media get to me.”
Brandy Howard, Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office

“I’m gonna leave behind people who posture on social media.”
Julie Goldman, Julie & Brandy In Your Box Office

“I vow to schedule Skype sessions, dinner dates and letter writing evenings to stay in touch with friends. I will resist the urge to cocoon and cut myself off from the world whenever it gets cold. (And maybe re-learn how to ride a bike. Shhhhhh).”
Kristen, Contributing Editor

“My resolution is to eat more protein and stop being such a silly ball of anxiety all the time.”
Kate, Contributing Editor

“In 2013 I’m going to try to let go of my fears of putting myself Out There and will try to take more risks that have unknown outcomes.”
Gabrielle, Contributing Editor

“My number one goal for 2013 is to leave the house — both my physical apartment and the metaphorical familiar — more. 2012 was a year of staying at home in yoga pants. 2013 will be the year of going places (mostly) fully dressed.”
Carolyn, Contributing Editor

“My resolution is to read more books that I actually hold in my hands.”
Brittani, Contributing Editor

“For neurotic, high-strung people like me, it’s best not to make any resolutions, and instead to just go with the flow. Go with the flow. That sounds like a great resolution, doesn’t it? Forget everything I wrote about not wanting to make a resolution. My resolution for 2013 will be to go with the flow!”
Malaika, Contributing Editor

“I resolve to be a better girlfriend. And also to quit smoking, but first I’ll start smoking.”
Bren, Editorial Assistant

“For most of 2012, I lamented on those who did me dirty. I waxed melodramatic on family members that betrayed my trust and dropped me for something better, cooler and easier to understand. I mourned the loss of a friend that lived on this earth the way constellations live in the galaxy: shining, connected and in symbiotic relationship to the past and the present. I watched as my connections to people and love itself imploded. Regurgitating what had happened, with who and how sad I was about it became my fucking way of life. Boohoo, bitches. I’m so very done with all of that. My New Year’s resolution is to fully embrace those around me who are honest and walk with love. I want to praise and support those who show me love & affirm all the good shit about living in this world. In that vein, I will end my mourning and switch it out for some good old fashioned remembrance and look to my friend for guidance. Basically, I want to give a continued shout out to the good shit, not just as a resolution but as a new way of life.”
Gabby, Writer

“I don’t usually do New Years resolutions, but I’ve been realizing how little I read now and it’s making me want to cry. My Netflix consumption, however, is as horrifyingly excessive as ever. SO. In 2013, I’m hoping that at LEAST half the times I’m tempted to watch some old Gossip Girl or Futurama, I will instead start one of the five thousand books I’ve been meaning to read for ages. Wish me luck!”
Rebecca, Intern

“Until 2012, I remained convinced that I had my life figured out. I was wrong. I hated 2012. I felt stuck the entire time, and after a year of seeking out “honesty” in my own relationships (last year’s crappy resolution) I realized if we were gonna be honest I had to give up on something, and so I did: I gave up on expecting shit, and I gave up on planning the unplannable. All I really want is to be free. To stop micro-managing. To stop drowning in it all, to take pauses, to escape, to chase every shred of joy until I’ve stashed enough for a lifetime.

In 2013 I will not pretend to have a plan. And I’m really excited to see how far it gets me.”
Carmen, Contributing Editor

On January 1, 2013, I’m going to make a movie out of one-second clips that I will record once every day. I’m making this my project because I supported a Kickstarter for an app that will make it possible to do this. It’s called the “1 Second Everyday App,” created by Cesar Kuriyama who, when he turned 30, started recording one second every day and made this video from those clips which I think is so neat.”

A;ex, Co-Founder / Design Director

“I resolve to take a carpentry class in the new year (this is part of a multi-year goal to be more like Marni!).”
Carrie, Editorial Assistant

“My New Years resolution is to be more organized with my time. Like map out a schedule and follow it. When I decide to spend 5 hours on something, spend 5 hours on it. When I decide to spend 10 minutes on something, only spend 10 minutes.”
Lizz, Contributing Editor

“My new year’s resolution is to make more noise. Or rather, to MAKE MORE NOISE.”
Cara, Contributing Editor

“One thing I want to leave behind forever is being embarrassed about having feelings/being a human instead of a robot. This year I found myself saying to someone “I’m not any less rational or with it when I’m upset or crying. Please don’t make me feel guilty for having strong feelings about something,” and it felt really good? I think I want to start saying that more often, to myself and to other people.”
Rachel, Senior Editor

“Work outside of my house at least 2 days a week.”
Laura, Associate Editor

Ok your turn! Tell us all your feelings about 2012, all of your hopes for 2013, and all about your New Year’s Eve celebrations.

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  1. This is not a New Year’s resolution, but I came out to my mother. I was forced out of the closet by my dad, who said he would not pay my college application fees if I didn’t tell me mom I am gay. I told him back in the summer, and he said I was going to hell, but he promised to keep my secret. Guess that promise had a expiration date. I told my mom, and it went better than I thought it would. :)

    2013 here I come as a newly out lesbian!

    • When I came out to my dad, he told me that he hated me. Also, his side of the family is comprised of several millionaires and billionaires who had money set aside for my education. That money was taken away from me as quickly as I could say “I shit rainbows, dad”.

      • Cassie, your dad’s priorities are – to put it lightly – crap. There are bad things that happen in this world, parents left childless by tragedy, and he’s going to let something as silly as who you love make him hate you?


        I hope that 2013 is great for you, infinitely better, and that someday when you’re looking at him from the right side of History, he feels like an ass.

        (And Samantha: welcome to the club! I hope you do what Daniela said and paint 2013 all the rainbow colours. With sparkles.)

  2. so far i am spending new year’s eve sitting on the couch with my cat doing work and tearing up at john darnielle’s tweets, which is pretty reflective of 2012 and, let’s be real, 2013. can’t wait for another year of the same (sincerely)!

    also i changed into real clothes before i wrote this comment so that i wouldn’t have to also admit that i was wearing pajama pants and a cardigan from the little boy’s section

  3. 2012 was a really good year for me. I finally figured out what I need to do to be happy with my life and I started thinking I deserve to be happy.

    My resolution for 2013 is to keep moving forward with my life. This involves, getting my own place, getting a full-time job til the fall and start going back to school to get my requirements to transfer for a BA in social work. I have been so lucky to have so many nice and supportive people in my life that I want to show them all how much I appreciate them by doing this.

  4. I’m going to a New Year’s party and I got to be the one to combine everyone’s requested songs into a playlist. Good thing we’re using the “shuffle” feature, because this is 12 hours long and there is no way that we are going to get to everyone’s songs. And some of these picks are quite weird. Should be a fun time…

  5. My resolution is to take a deep breath and embrace all the intimidating changes that are coming in 2013, like starting college and my best friend going to the Air Force Academy.

  6. I’m here in the butt-fuck middle of Delaware – going to watch my creepy uncle’s band play. I decided I would go all-out femme in a rockabilly dress and high heeled pumps and give all of the greasy old dudes in this bar a taste of queer radical ‘fuck you’ action.

    My New Years resolution is to go out into the world with a queer radical ‘fuck you’ attitude. To make new friends, adjust and flourish in my new job, and to make a difference in my local community. Also, to start a creative hobby :).

    Happy New Year y’all!

  7. Anything particular that anyone is excited about for 2013?

    Mine are mainly TV-show-related, like the three new Skins episodes coming out, and Downton Abbey Season 3 coming to the US (I’ve already seen most of the episodes of the latter, but it will be nice to not have to hide spoilers from my friends anymore).

    • I’m really excited for Bomb Girls season two. Also: A-Camp, holly miranda’s new album, seeing P!nk and Deftones in concert, the unicorn onesie i just ordered online, and the start of a new Sydney roller derby season.

      • Oh yeah, I’m totally excited for A-Camp since it will be my first one! I can’t believe that slipped my mind.

        Also, hoping to go to this rad musicology conference at NYU this summer (scheduled right after A-Camp – no rest for the weary!).

  8. It’s already 2013 in Australia. For NYE I decided to get a head start on my new year resolution of not being such a reclusive weirdo by attending a gathering of Autostraddle readers and, even though i was back at home spooning my cats by midnight (baby steps), i had a super fun time. i met so many rad people at a-camps and meet-ups in 2012 and i’m glad i got to farewell the year with some of them.

  9. I’m resolving to write a full musical with an amazing composer. (I don’t know who the composer will be yet). By this time next year, I will be 3/4 done with grad school. MFA, I’m going after you!

  10. My resolution is to survive moving to Serbia (for 6 months) in 2 days. I’ve never done anything quite like this before and I’m kiiiiind of freaking out. But, my resolution is that it will be really exciting and I will have tons of fun and learn lots of new things. I’m going to spend half of 2013 in Serbia, this is crazy!

    • Serbia sounds really exciting! I know the kind of freak out that occurs before you up and move to a new country for a while; I’ve done it a few times myself. I’ve never been to Serbia (but I have been to Bosnia), but if you want a little moving abroad advice or just a sounding board, drop me a line.

  11. This year my resolution is to start commenting on Autostraddle? Because I’ve been a really quiet lurker for over a year now and I absolutely adore everything about the site and the community and I have a crush on everyone here collectively, but I’ve been hesitant about saying hi. I’m finally starting to feel some self-confidence, though, which is nice, so… um, hello there. It’s a start.

  12. I am trying to:

    1- stop thinking taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work is enough exercise. There is a gym behind my house and I should probs utilize that shit.

    2- begin a new photo project

    3- meet aubrey plaza

    • My only resolution is to kiss Aubrey Plaza on the face. (With her enthusiastic consent, obviously.)

  13. This year I resolve to just be myself in the most honest fashion. I’m going to do what I want, when I want, and live without regret/guilt/negative bullshit.

  14. First of all, I appreciate all the Settlers of Catan in that 1-Second Everyday video.

    My resolutions for the new year are to start taking yoga classes and to start eating vegetarian again, because 2012 was the year I fell off that wagon hard.

    My other more serious goal is to not fuck up my integrative project for my masters degree that is coming up in 3 months, and that I already failed once, so that I can FINALLY graduate.

  15. I have historically scorned both resolutions and relationships, and this winter I have realized that both these reaction stem from fear. (for me, not necessarily for anyone else).
    So for 2013 I want to let myself be loved, because I finally FINALLY really know that I deserve it.
    and to do more yoga, because it makes me happy.

  16. My New Year’s Resolution is to stay the fuck out of the hospital. I just got out of my fourth psych hospitalization of the year today, Dec. 31, so I feel like it’s a good time to start new. And then, come out to my parents? Maybe? I did just try to kill myself, so they’re being super nice to me. It seems incredibly scary, but a year ago I wasn’t out to anyone at all and coming out has been amazing.

    (A side note: it’s amazing how many people I met in the psych ward who were also struggling with their queerness. They were some of the first connections I’ve made with other gay people, and it has helped me so much to meet people who know exactly what I’m going through.

    One guy and I were locked up together twice. The first time we were both out to everyone because it was a really supportive group, and the second time the other patients were more homophobic and so we were the only ones who knew each other’s secret. It’s so much easier when you don’t feel alone in that.)

    Haha, sorry, that’s kind of depressing. I literally just got out three hours ago, though, and it can be a weird transition. Anyway, I’m feeling really positive about 2013! It can be a really good year.

  17. I’m sort of a resolution virgin, but I need to stop talking to/grabbing coffee with my ex. Get a job, obviously. Make out with someone new.

  18. So I’m sitting in my living room drinking with 7 of my closest gay friends…all men. My resolution? To make more lesbian friends.

    Happy New Year everyone!

  19. This year I’m going to work to be the me I want to be – and not stay stagnant and unhappy just because it’s easy.

    I’m going to take care of myself – physically, mentally, and emotionally.

    I’m going to create things instead of just consuming them,

    and I’m going to do more to get out of my comfort zone.

    And plans for tonight? I was invited to a party full of really intimidating hipsters I don’t know very well who are hiring a stripper ironically, which makes me ill. Soooo I might just stay in, take a bath, and bring in the new year cuddling with my dog and watching movies. Is it really terrible to spend New Years Eve alone?

    • “hiring a stripper ironically” is pretty epically hipster. I think you should go just for the incredible hipster stories I’m sure you’d get out of it.
      But if not, I am spending NYE alone too, so, whatever. :]

      • Hipsters scare me, because I am deeply uncool. ahhhhhhhhh

        I guess going even though I’m nervous would fall under my resolution of getting out of my comfort zone, though.


        • But but making fun of hipsters is cooler than hipsters!!! It’s like inception.
          (If it were me considering going to this party I wouldn’t be saying this, but it’s still true.)

          • I went and actually had a good time! I made friends with a turtle and drank lots of beer. There was not a single stripper to be seen, ironic or otherwise. We played video games and danced!

            Maybe my sincerity and dorkiness is rubbing off on them!

  20. I resolve to

    -open myself up to love
    -finish my novel
    -stop feeling like a failure for not having high enough grades to go directly to a four-year college
    -stop self-harming

  21. I’m not a big resolution person but there are a couple of things I should probably do this year:
    1) come out to my family since I told myself I would do it by Christmas
    2) stop making out with guys in clubs cos it gets a bit awkward telling them oh sorry I’m a lesbian I don’t want to come home with you thanks but no thanks, here’s my fake number, call me anytime!

    • 2) Oh man, I stopped almost a year ago, but sometimes I have to remind myself. It’s like..I’ve done that for years and years, it’s like a habit.

  22. New Years Resolution 2013-Eat more soup

    predicted New Years Resolution 2014-eat less soup

    Drink to my accomplishment, Cheers!

  23. Hmm.
    1. Make lesbian friends in real life and online. (I AM ALONE but now I have all of you)
    2. Watch every single episode of Xena: Warrior Princess with friends. (see 1.)
    3. Get in shape in order to properly rock “Straddle This” underwear.
    4. Fill “So Many Feelings” journal with interesting things, then blog about it on tumblr.
    5. Take a photo and/or write a haiku every day this year. EVERY DAY.

  24. These are so great.

    Chelsey! You ARE important too! So important!

    And Carrie, I fully support this resolution.

  25. I don’t do well with New Years resolutions, but I want to try and cut out a lot of the negative stuff from my life. Minimize or eliminate my time with people who make me feel less-than.

    Oh also I just realized that Bo from Lost Girl was in that Nicoderm commercial that I loved so much growing up, which made me very happy! Small pleasures.

  26. I resolve to finally make an Autostraddle account.

    Mission accomplished! Reward sticker!

    I resolve to give myself more reward stickers. :)

  27. So guess who is at home with a head cold writing Make A Thing at the very last moment? I REALLY NEED TO GET ON MY RESOLUTION I AM DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY.

  28. Half way through last year I decided I was just going to start saying yes to everything, especially things that scared me. SO I have a bunch of new friends, I finally have a job I’m in love with that uses my degree, I’m about to go to an unofficial A-camp with a bunch of straddlers here in Oz, and I have an alternative lifestyle haircut that I really really like.

    I’m making that an official thing for 2013, it seems to be going alright for me so far.

      • Thanks!

        I bought bathers yesterday for the first time in maybe two years? I’m ready for some proper beach time…

        • Guys, can I ask when Adelaide camp is? I am here visiting family. Probably can’t, but maybe… maybe?

          • Damn! Would have been fun. Meet ups look like becoming a semi-regular thing, if you’re in Adelaide again let one of us know. We are a good bunch, if I do say so myself ;)

          • Cool @Cat, I will do. I grew up here, actually, so I’m back a few times a year. I really love the fact that you are doing this – Adelaide needs it :)

    • There’s an unofficial A camp happening in Australia! Boy I wish I lived in Radelaide. You kids were so cute in your international meet up week pics. Where art the Perth straddlers?

      Actually, I’m visiting for Womad, if you guys have a meet up then I could accomplish my resolution #2: make lesbian friends in real life. Just an idea.

      • Im pretty sure we can make that happen. That’s Fringe time as well, maybe we can see a show or go to the garden of unearthly delights. Also I’m working at Womad, come say hi if you see me :)

  29. Serious resolution: come out to parents in 2013.
    Not so serious resolution: stop going to Taco Bell drunk.

  30. 2012 was the year both my grandmothers died. There were a lot of funerals, and a lot of crying – some sad, but some happy, too. 2013 is going to be my year, because I’m going to make it my year.

    I resolve to look after myself better; to fall in love with my body and treat it like a palace; to write something I’m proud of; to be kinder in small ways, but not to tolerate small acts of injustice either; to laugh with friends, to read books that take me oceans away, and to look back in 365 days’ time at 2013 and think “you know what? I didn’t waste a day.”

    • For some reason I read a sentence as ‘fall in love with my body and treat it like a potato’

      One new year’s resolution: sleep more, and sleep well.

  31. Resolution A1: Sign up for an Autostraddle account after several months of lurking. Say hello.

    Hello! (Done…yay!)

    Resolution A2: Get the gravatar thing to stop giving me error messages. (To be continued…)

    Resolution B: Find a few new friends and environments with whom and where I can be my most authentic self. I had this before, but then moved a far distance for work last year, and while the move was worth it (I love my job and where I live), I’d like to be conscious about pursuing these things again, both in real life and on the net.

    Resolution C: Get a cat! Or a dog. Haven’t decided which yet.

    Happy almost New Year everyone!

  32. One of my resolutions should be to find a girlfriend since I’m forever alone…but I really don’t want to. So, I resolve to stop focusing all my attention on school, to fully embrace my single-ness and to have fun with it.

    I’m also making the cliched resolutions: eating healthier and exercising regularly again.

  33. I don’t do New Years Resolutions, coz if I want to change my life I just do it, I don’t wait for a special day.

    However, at the moment I am working on being less dramatic, and being a friend who gives more, instead of just taking.

    Oh, and getting rid of stuff.

    Happy New Years straddlers. xoxoxo

  34. Well 2012 was by far the shittiest year of my life, sharing my small childhood bedroom with my sister and her boyfriend and being wickedly underemployed — sooo my resolution for 2013 is to make it less shitty than 2012: aim low and you can’t fail, holla!

  35. Spending NYE In my uncles basement flipping between all the different coverage. Listening to my uncle call Ryan Seacrest “the queer one”, repeatedly ask where Anderson Coopers boyfriend is. Call Psy “fruity”. State that he doesn’t like Liberaci, and that he doesn’t agree with Elton John adoptng kids…if he wants kids he should “get married and do it the normal way” apparently.

    Tried to speak up without much success. Had to escape as soon as the ball dropped before I started to scream/cry.

    Happy New Year!

    • I’m so sorry. I wish I had something more useful to say, but my gawd, that’s awful and good for you getting out of there when you needed to, and I’m so so sorry you have to put up with that.

  36. These are all so great! I want to write all of your resolutions on my walls with rainbow colored Sharpie!

    My resolutions:
    Meet some lesbians over the age of 30
    Read more about queer history
    Saying “yes” to the things I want (that last brownie, the dapper cutie in the bow-tie)
    And “no” to the things I don’t want (creepy men, working for free)

    Happy New Year, everyone!

    • I just happen to be going through my activity from the past year and saw this. I did manage to get out of my own way and get laid more! Goals!

  37. I am too drunk to supply a thoughtful resolution but HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVERYBODY! Thank god for cheap Merlot.

  38. 5 minutes to the new year here in Kansas: plenty of time to make resolutions!

    1) Comment and not be such a lurker online (here and on other sites I frequent).
    2) Start and continue to do protective styles for my hair (I’ve had an afro for the past five years), use better products and really take care of my hair.
    3) Finish FFVIII (really, this has been a resolution since it came out).


    • I am adopting #2! I must take better care of my hair. I’m realizing Natural doesn’t have to mean lazy, and our hair works hard for us so it deserves it.

  39. “My New Year’s resolution is to fully embrace those around me who are honest and walk with love”

    Gabby, you win everything.

    Happy New Years everyone!!

  40. My new years resolution is to respect my body both physically by eating healthy and getting exercise but also mentally by being more positive and confident in my self. Happy New Year!

  41. well, i spent christmas (and this past week) in bed with bronchitis, but i forced myself to go out tonight with my friends anyway. ate 12 grapes as the clock chimed in madrid’s puerta del sol, which is a good luck tradition here. maybe this year i’ll find a girlfriend? haha.

    my resolutions are:
    – to eat less processed food and carbs (because i eat waaaay too much pasta)
    – to start a class or hobby, so i’m not on facebook and autostraddle 24/7 when i’m not at work (yoga? knitting? drawing? jewelry making? pilates?)
    – to get more active

    hopefully this will be the year that i don’t fail on my resolutions. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

  42. To me, it sounds a bit cliche to say this here, with all of you, but it seems like a big deal when I’m surrounded by all my straight and clueless friends. Anywho, my New Year’s Resolution is to get out of the closet, and by embracing myself, give the people I love most in my life the actual chance to take me or leave me, instead of just assuming they will! This is not just a new year, but sort of the start of a new life for me and I want my friends and family to come along!

  43. New here! :)

    I have a few get-better-at-guitar, learn-to-code, take-better-care-of-self resolutions for 2013, but they’re essentially all just examples of what I *really* want to do: confront my natural tendency towards inertia.

    Instead of worrying myself into paralysis about what could go wrong, I’m going to try just going for the things I want & trust that doors I can’t even imagine will open up – which of course is how it has actually worked out in the past the few times I’ve managed to override my ridiculously worrisome brain.

  44. These aren’t exactly resolutions, but I have I have three things I wish to gain over the course of 2013:

    1. Strength–physical, mental, emotional.
    2. Clarity–I am SO OVER second guessing my decisions.
    3. Hope–2012 was the worst because I have never in my life felt so listless, worthless, and hopeless; I want to believe good things are coming my way.

    Here’s hoping everyone has their wishes fulfilled in 2013!

  45. My resolution this year is to give as many fucks about people as they give about me. That might sounds weird or mean, but basically, I’m tired of spending my time worked up about my exes, or other people who weren’t cool to me. I am an awesome, hilarious, smart, fun human being, and if people don’t recognize that, I am not going to waste my time obsessing about them.

    • I agree. Giving fucks is not bad – people who give zero fucks about what ANYONE thinks tend to be assholes, because some people are important and their feelings should matter. But yeah, I think everyone needs to learn to give no fucks to people who give no fucks to us.

  46. Things I would like to do:

    -Finish Code Year
    -Write Adelaide’s ‘Queer Girl City Guide’ and send it in to AS, to hopefully be included in the printed guide (is it too late for this?!)
    -Get into a good, consistent post-uni drum practice routine
    -Level up my independent living type skills so that moving out in 2014 is a legitimate option. cooking, why must you be SO much less fun than eating
    -Pick up a chordal instrument
    -Write and distribute something I’m pleased with
    -Save some moneys.
    -Be a better friend.
    -Be a better person of faith- see more of the big picture and share more of the love
    -Be a better global citizen. This includes not buying shit I don’t need that much. I’ve been okay at this so far because I’ve been studying and haven’t had loads of moolah BUT a more full-time job can equal unnecessary spending. I may still be compelled to get that miniature business card filing cabinet from ThinkGeek though, ’cause it’s so cute.

    2013. I have good feelings about you. Let’s do this.

  47. I spent NYE with a bunch of really good friends, drank slightly too much whiskey, ran around a park topless with two friends (that may have been the whiskey’s fault), made nachos, played frisbee in the dark, watched the fireworks with a bunch of hilarious people in animal onesies (“that’s the best thing about being thirty! you can wear animal onesies for new year’s eve!”), who then went on to show us videos of their apparently very talented male stripper friend for half an hour. They also gave us plenty of advice on strategies for both end-of-year exams and certain drinking games. It was amazing, basically.

    So, to be completely honest, my one resolution for 2013 is to have nights like that more often.

  48. watch all 6 star wars movies in one night
    stop pretending to not care
    pick up on studying that language again
    drink more water
    drop out of uni
    find a cure for hangovers
    be in time at least sometimes

  49. 1. Learn to be vulnerable, do scary things
    2. Make queer friends in real life
    3. Find a job I don’t hate
    4. End 2013 with savings, not debt
    5. Find a therapist, stop ignoring my problems
    6. Come out to my freaking family already
    7. Get laid more than 2012
    8. Get fit

    • Oh, and the fun one… I resolve to see 26 films at the actual
      cinema in 2013. Maybe blog about it. A film a fornight. Yay.

  50. I’ve already made a start on this, but I resolve to stop letting my weight hold me back romantically, instead of resolving to lose it and then beating myself up when I reach for the chocolate. I’ve lost weight in the past year and I want to lose more, but making it a resolution never works out.

  51. 1.To call out more racists, classists, and transphobes/cissexists.
    2.To finish all of my currently unfinished poems.
    3.To get my performance-ready poems memorized.
    4.To start drawing again.
    5.To buy an actual chest binder.
    6.To actually read “The Sexual Politics of Meat”.
    7.Ditto “The Shock Doctrine”.
    8.To finally start formally asking people (who aren’t strangers I’ll never see again) to call me my new name. It’ll stop feeling wrong eventually, and in any case, will never feel as wrong as the name I was given.
    Happy New Year, everyone!

  52. My top resolutions were to drink less and act more like a Grown Up, but it’s only January 1st and here I am, listening to Death Cab and drinking a beer. So…

  53. Happy New Year all you beautiful people. 2012 was NOT my year but 2013 will be. My resolutions are to save money, be more positive, and be more active in my gay community.

    Thank you Autostraddle for being my saving grace during the worst year of my life. I never really socialized with anyone on here but just reading the comments on different posts either made me think, made me laugh, made me cry…

  54. Well, 2013 consists so far of my friend who I thought was like my brother confessing his undying love for me and asking to cross continents and move to Australia and be with me. And me realising this friendship which I treasure is probably not going to make it through.

    Regrettably, I’m bisexual, so I can’t just plead lesbianism.

    I thought you were going to be easier on me than 2012, 2013?

  55. i posted a bunch of resolutions earlier but i forgot the most important one: to STOP falling for straight girls.
    that is all.

  56. I wrote this super long list but then I realized they were all really bits of the major thing.

    1. Be joyful.

  57. I started 2012 as the year for me to accept myself, and by december I was out to select friends, and my sister. Tonight, the first night of 2013 I plan to come out to my mother. 2013 my year of honesty and peace.

    Oh, and I plan to get healthy too, isn’t that a given?

  58. My resolution is to meet new people — not necessarily people I want to date, just people in general — and to be myself. I have great friends at school, but I’m graduating in May so I want to start diversifying my social interactions :)

  59. One of my best friends gave me the best Christmas present a closeted little queer could hope for: a tie. My first tie! I resolve to wear it to as many events as possible and not freak out about what other people are thinking. Maybe I’ll wear it to prom. I also resolve to work on my confidence and social skills so that I won’t spend my entire first year of college friendless. Basically, I resolve to be more comfortable with myself, and hopefully, someone out there will like it.

    Also, more baking.

  60. Beyond the semi-serious pact Ive made with my brother to aspire to Gerard Butler-level arms, I haven’t made a resolution for this year. Cause 2012 was the year the my heart grew two sizes too big and I became a person, and I think 2013 will be about understanding what that means. No expectations, just life ya know?

  61. we wrote lists of our wishes for 2013 and burned them over tea lights we’d protected from the wind by digging little fire pits in the giant snowbanks outside of my house. we shot champagne corks out over the quiet street and all of my beautiful friends were glowing in the light of one of those spinning firecrackers shooting swirls of red and orange sparks and everyone was grinning cracking jokes hugging stamping our feet to keep warm. i raced my friend andrea to the top of a snowbank and we fell down laughinglaughinglaughing (no packing snow here) and our party was crashed by a bunch of beautiful strangers-now-friends and then everybody danced in my living room until early morning.
    i couldn’t have asked for a better ending/beginning.

  62. My New Year’s resolution is the same as usual but it’s based around that Neil Gaiman quote from a few years ago.

    Mostly I’m going to try to get in AMAZING shape and get thin (not really skinny, just a lot more so than now) before I go to the Netherlands next summer. And I will keep trying to get a job, even though I’m not sure how successful that’ll be.

    I’m going to make 2013 my bitch, y’all. I feel like this could be a good year for two reasons. Reason #1: I was born on Friday the 13th so it’s not unlucky for me. Reason #2: 13 is my lucky number. The year ends in 13, so…how could it not be my year?

    And maybe this will be the year where I meet an amazing woman and she becomes my girlfriend. (It would be if I have anything to say about it.) No more long distance, though.

  63. I saw The Hobbit last night with a friend from high school. Afterwards we tried to go to two restaurants before ending up at another one and then we went to a bar where the first floor was country music and pool tables and random sports on tv and the upstairs was a loud and obnoxious ‘musician’ and a much better folk/rock/punk band. I drank a lot of vodka and cranberry juice and got (maybe) hit on by a guy who looked like Kurt Cobain. And there was a sign that said “every time you tip a pop country singer gets hit by their tour bus.” I don’t know if anyone noticed this but there was a lot of country music down on the first floor of the building.

    Happy New Year, everybody.

  64. I am going to kick ass at work until I feel confident enough to ask for a raise in the spring! And comment more on Autostraddle. I’m serious, that’s a real resolution.

  65. You guys –

    2013 has already rocked out. I applied to Columbia, had the year’s first brunch, and my girlfriend and I christened the new year. 2013 is gonna be the best year so far.

  66. Last night was really really excellent because I went to a party and met new people who think I’m cool and use my name and pronouns. And I felt incredibly like myself and people responded great to that, I even ended up kissing a girl for the first time! (not for lack of trying) So my resolution is to be out to everyone I know, so I can feel this authentic all the time. I just wish there was a way to be out to people without having to come out to them. I was thinking of printing a shirt that said:
    “My name is Asie
    I use the pronouns they, them, and theirs
    Please use those, even if you used to call me something else.”
    I dunno, is that a dumb idea?

    • That’s awesome, congrats on a great night! And I think the shirt is a pretty great idea — alternately, you could print the message out on business cards that you could casually distribute to people at parties like a badass.

  67. The following are a few words that I would rather post on someone’s FB wall or some other place to expose her for the well-crafted, attractive jerk she is, but 1) it’s wordy, 2) I deactivated my account in September, and 3) I probs wouldn’t do it anyway because I care about what our mutual friends and acquaintances think of me. I’m putting it here because shit like this usually just sits in the draft folder of my email and I’m losing my damn mind and, well, because my chest still hurts…

    Oh hey, beautiful! Congrats on graduating from “Med School!” How’ve you been?! I see you have so many close friends on here. That is so awesome! Are these the ones that “don’t count?”…your words, not mine, remember? Just wondering. Anyway, have you made your New Year resolutions yet? Mine are to bear fewer grudges, experience less indignation, to stop bothering God with my silly requests, and to be less pedantic! It’s going great so far! Well, I’m sure one of yours is probably the noble pursuit of continuing to play dumb but I happen to have a few other suggestions for you if you feel so inclined to hear them.

    This year, when you insist on repeatedly flattering a new “BFF” with phrases like he/she is “the only person that you want to be around” or that you “want to hang out every single night” or that you “love him/her more than anything,” maybe try meaning it. Otherwise, it may be misconstrued as a little insincere later on when you inform him or her that you “only spent so much time with him or her because you had nothing else going on in life” or that over the span of a few weeks of new pursuits you “forgot how nice it is to be with” him or her…your words, not mine, remember?

    In fact, it may be beneficial to most, if not all, of your 2013 BFFs to just tell them upfront that you’re really great at looking them right in the eyes and giving compliments — that you may or may not mean, who’s to say, really?! — especially when the complimentary clauses are preceded by exacting signifiers like “so so so so so” and “really” or when they are followed by the ever meaningful “so much!!!!” Just maybe warn these unsuspecting future BFFs, that if they don’t truly currently serve your needs as you might exclaim they do or perhaps if they dare to demonstrate characteristics of a realist (like, say, the boorish characteristic of not “choosing” happiness), you may without warning cancel your plans with them to do something a little more exciting. Heck, you might even play dumb about it if they pick up it. Perhaps warn them that they will be considered a selfish brat if they retaliate by sharing with you their most intimate and embarrassing feelings of just how much they miss you. These upcoming BFFs might appreciate knowing these types of things in advance rather than when they have already been having the worst weeks of their lives. I for one can say that the reading words like “you’re a big brat” was a most comforting revelation through my already falling tears and darkest moments culminating in stunted mourning and self-loathing, but hey, I can’t speak for everyone!

    Actually, come to think of it, don’t worry about warning this year’s BFFs. They needn’t be forewarned as all they need to do if they feel the tiniest bit slighted by you is to merely get penciled into your schedule around the fun things for some good old-fashioned chit-chat. Perhaps they too will get to go with you to the shoe store to get some pretty boots for tonight’s dance that they’re not going to attend! Anyway, your new BFFs just simply need to tell you how they feel — and maybe a month or so later — when you’ve had little break from whatever your current pursuit has become and you’ve had a few moments of dreaded introspection or perhaps if you’ve identified some reason that they might be temporarily useful — you’ll promptly contact them to tell that your “really really sorry.” They won’t even care that you’re not specifying what you’re sorry for — they’ll just be so happy that you really really mean it and now everything’s better and they can just forget the past! Anyway, glad to see everything’s going well for you! Your boyfriend’s super HOT, btw! I totally understand now! — No hard feelings :) Oh, almost forgot…one more suggestion…this year, you should totally give all the new BFFs homemade key chains that signify their BFF status! They’ll love finding it in their car after you’ve discarded their friendships! I’d hate to be the only one! Best wishes in the New Year! I love you “so so so so so” much!

    -Amelia, BFF, 2012 honors

  68. My resolution is to learn to like rice.

    I broke my toe at a NYE party so I’m not super capable of doing a lot of other things (walking is for the birds anyway!) so maybe I’ll take advantage of my impaired social life to write more!

  69. I resolve to start to going to class more often, and to live a healthier life style in every way possible. Here we go!

  70. I went out with a friend i hadnt seen in a while and I think I kinda fancy her a bit?
    Which is def not a good start.

  71. I spent New Year’s Eve with a glass of wine and Louise Erdrich’s “The Round House.” If anyone finds one or all of those things even vaguely attractive, please hit me up because okcupid just isn’t doing it for me.

    Also my New Year’s resolution is to drink more wine while reading more books and to use autostraddle as a dating site more frequently.

    That is all.

  72. This year I resolve:

    to be more focused in my studies
    to hang out with my new queermo friends more
    to get back on my skates
    to take more photos
    to give more hugs
    to try not to worry about finding love

    AS definitely made 2012 a little easier <3

  73. Daniela, you shake the dust. I’ll rock out like the mangoes are in season. They won’t know what hit em.

  74. I actually had a pretty fantastic 2012, but I still resolve to do things:

    1. Generally, get my shit together.
    2. Stop spending too much money.
    3. Live in a new place.
    4. Read more books.
    5. Leave the house.
    6. and clearly, workout/eat better/be more healthy (but like realistically)

  75. A rather late contribution, but one of my resolutions is to try and write more, about nothing in particular and just do it for me. I’m a person who struggles to get what sounds wonderful in my head down on paper, but I now realise it doesn’t have to be coherent for anyone else, just an outlet for me!

  76. My resolution is to not only become happy with myself, but hopefully find someone who can help make me the best person I can be.

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