Hey, you. Yes, you there. With the hair thing going on? And the nice shirt. How do you get your skin so smooth?
LISTEN UP! I’ve got a very special announcement for each and every one of you and you’re not gonna wanna miss it. Okay, ready? Okay. Ahem.
IT’S TELL US EVERYTHING WEEK AT AUTOSTRADDLE DOT COM!
What the F*ck is Tell Us Everything Week?
Here’s the situation. We’re all madly in love with you, and especially with what you add to our own lives by being here, right here, in this space with us online, every day. We love your comments, your banter, your avatars, your cute “About Me” sections in your Autostraddle member profiles… the list goes on. We make things for you and we love talking to you about them. We wanna hear even more of what you have to say!
But commenting online has evolved quite a bit over the last few years and a lot of websites are shutting down comment sections altogether, moving the bulk of their social energy into social media, or only selectively opening posts to reader feedback. That’s not our style, though. Your words have been as important to us as our words since we leaped onto this ship in the first place. We’re gonna talk more about that in a different post later this week, but in the interest of getting to the point:
And thus, Tell Us Everything week was born.
We’re dedicating a whole week of content – starting right here, right now, with this post – to you. We’re gonna talk Internet culture, share stories about our experiences in the Straddleverse, and maybe even serenade you in the moonlight. We’re also gonna talk about our commenting culture in general, and what we’ve observed works best when it comes to making Autostraddle a place that feels comfortable and safe to the broad spectrum of readers we attract — from that Women’s Studies PhD in Northampton who’s got a wife and two dogs to the mother-of-two in St. Louis nervous to leave her husband for a life only glimpsed via The L Word to the radical activist in Oakland who recently came out as transgender to the 16-year-old in rural Mississippi who has to read Autostraddle in secret and has no idea what “demisexual” means.
Everything we do here at Autostraddle is about our readers — the people just like you who click our links on social media, leave comments in the night on our recaps, and support our work endlessly, and support each other.
To sweeten the deal, though, we’re also throwing in some prizes for the most devoted and active amongst you. Because you’re our heart and soul and you deserve A+ memberships and Autostraddle merch!
So, How Do I Win?
Here’s how this whole shebang is going down. In order to win a prize during Tell Us Everything week, you just need to do two things: create an Autostraddle member account, and leave as many comments on this website as possible in the next seven days.
Even if all your comment says is “thank you for this piece” or “I like this” or “wow.” (Seriously on the “wow.” I’d take a “wow” any day), we’re into it. We also really like to know where you are with this — whatever this is, whatever we’re talking about. What’s it like for you? Can you reach out to another commenter to further their conversation? You add to this community, you bring it to life, you help steer the boat. There’s nothing more rewarding for us than sparking conversation, watching y’all get to know each other, and fostering this beautiful and kind community for all of you wonderful humans across the world who want and need it.
So this week, while we’re spilling our guts about how much we love you, we wanna hear from you, too! Hence the name of the week, you guys. We want you to tell us everything. We wanna know if our articles rip your heart open or sew them shut. We wanna see pictures when you attempt to cook our recipes or make the DIY crafts we walk you through. Really, we just wanna know how you’re doing and how you’re feeling today and, like I said, how you get your hair so shiny.
The more comments you leave this week, the more likely you’ll be to win bigger and better prizes. I’ll be drawing the winners (on camera!) and posting the video on Thursday, July 16. If you wanna participate in the contest, you also have to comment on this very post — that’s how we’ll know who to track this week. (But it won’t count towards your total!)
What Are The Prizes?
Here they are, cap’n: you can pick from any of the options below if you win for your tier. And just in case you were wondering, there are more than one of some of these prize packages available. THE ODDS ARE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR, Y’ALL.
TIER 1: Leave 5+ Comments This Week
- Your choice of one of the following: Better Together Issue #1 (OMG I’m GAY), Better Together Issue #2 (I Broke Up Like This), Vapid Fluff Tote Bag, A-Camp hoodie, Liquor in the Front Flask, Safe Space Pencil Case, three Rory stickers or three You Do You stickers or a You Do You pin
- One-year A+ Bronze Membership (for you or a friend)
TIER 2: Leave 10+ Comments This Week
- Your choice of any of the merch listed in Tier 1 OR Better Together Issue #3 (Queer Sultry Summer), or any t-shirt or tank top in the Autostraddle store.
- One-year A+ Silver Membership (for you or a friend)
TIER 3: Leave 15+ Comments This Week
A “Thank You” postcard from the Senior Editors and the following:
- Your choice of any merch item in the Autostraddle Store
- One-year A+ Gold Membership (for you or a friend)
Wow! ;)
she literally stole my joke
yes, wow! What a great idea for a week!
So good! I am very excited about this mostly because I just wanna be in constant contact with everyone.
RT
As a constant lurker, because “ohgodwhatiftheydon’tlikeme?” this is very comforting… Thank you!
We will, we will, like you. (that was to the tune of We Will Rock You because I have not had enough coffee yet and this seemed like a good idea).
This is so cute and such a great and fun idea. I’m a prolific commenter of unpopular comments (not antagonistic, just, few people click like on my comments — it’s cool; I’m loyal but not witty).
But since volume of comments is a plus for this special series, I feel like it’s my moment to shine! lol
In conclusion, ilu Autostraddle and looking forward to this series. <3
Rey I just liked your comment. P.S. I like you too.
Aw you’re the nicest Laura; I like you too.
dang i should use this week’s comment section to practice my html.
WOAH HELLO! hahahaha
that dog is totally a real-life Stimpy. cracked me up.
I comment more here than I do anywhere else on the internet, which is still not very much. I love everything you do here, but when that’s all I have to say I’m usually not inclined to say it because it feels redundant. I know more affirmation is better and more comments are better, but I usually put my commenting energy toward those times when I have something more to say.
Wow! Is this for real? I had to cancel my subscription as my financial circumstances changed….. so this could not be better for me, I miss your A+ content!
Best of luck to you!
Thanks <3
I really like this idea! I tend to go without commenting for long stretches, but I like events like this that bring it more to the forefront of my mind. I truly do value the community here, and I quite often read the comments (even if I don’t post). I think that’s a pretty rare and special thing for a website in 2015!
Also: nice job on the photo for this piece :D
Wait wait wait- you mean you’re telling me your going to *give* me free stuff for me posting my somewhat-coherent ramblings onto your lovely website? Which I already do for free?
Count me in! :-D
I am so IN THIS!!
Also, Wow.
YAY!!! This makes me really happy! The comments section on this site is one of my favorite things! It’s literally the only site that I read comments on because somehow you all have created a magical safe space for readers. I mean maybe its cause Straddlers are just some of the best people in this world so of course everyone’s comments are great! But there is some awesome magic happy feelings going on in this site’s comment sections! I’m excited to read everyone’s comments on everything this week!
“Magic safe space” – exactly!
Commenting is one of my favorite things about this website. It’s the first queer community I was ever a part of. This community made me feel normal and ok. And then internet comments morphed into meeting some people in real life. I even got the courage to host my own meetup event in August! So yeah, this has been an Internet safe haven. I know this is totally sappy, but it’s true!
Aww yay. That so nice!
Fuck yes!!
omg I’ve been needing a reminder to comment more! I love this idea and I love all of you
Casey you are so cute and I love your new profile/icon pic here and on tumblr (:
thanks! it’s a selfie from the morning of nyc dyke march! wearing my blue/green scissoring tee (if you can’t tell)! i was feeling super queer and happy and stuff
Great lip color! A+
Unfortunately I can’t take part in this since I’m travelling for the next couple of weeks, but I think it’s an awesome idea and I’m going to use it as inspiration to comment more. I feel like I need to stop worrying about being witty and just start saying ‘wow!’ more often, so thanks for the tip!
I have cat butt in my face.
(CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.)
This is so cute and exciting! But what you already give us every day is more than enough of a prize for me. Thanks as always for your hard work and smart brains and glorious captions and commitment to not-sucking in a world that mostly sucks.
Ditto to that!
I’ve never been much of a commenter, on any media site for that matter– but I guess there’s no better time than now to start!
There once was a person named Heather
Who’d wanted to comment forever
She had pink sunglasses,
A jar of molasses,
And a positive charge in her ether
I never know what to say in comments! I must revert to my native tongue, the limerick.
That was lovely, I hope to see more of your limericks abounding in the comments! It will be like a scavenger hunt to find them!
Wait, if the first step is creating an account, does that mean this is open to new people only?
nope! you just need to comment here with a profile that is an autostraddle account versus a guest comment, if that makes sense! so you’re set!
Do comments on any articles work, or just those from this week?
nope! anything! everything!
alright alright alriiiiight
Honestly I feel like this is just a wonderful excuse to get back into my excessive commenting swing, so yay!
Do it!
Profilic commenter high five!
I feel like you are reading some of the same times I am reading with that comment about some sites shutting down comments and/or selectively opening posts. It’s good to know I am not the only queer reading such sites.
Well, this is a darn cute idea.
Usually my mantra is “don’t read the comments” unless I feel like a (sarcastic) laugh or want to lose my faith in humanity.
But when it comes to AS, my mantra is the complete opposite. I love the content you (AS) peeps post and then the comment section is like the cherry on top of the sundae. I’ve learnt so much from commenters here and I love that AS is a site that encourages commenting.
As per usual, AS is the best.
Oooh, I so agree to the usual “don’t read comments” in things, but AS is the complete opposite for me. I learn SO much in the comments section!
I only read the comments here and on Joe My God
<3 <3 <3 <3
This is such a wonderful idea – it’s basically a stimulus package for the comments section! Do you have an economist on the Autostraddle team or something?
Anyway, I’m usually a lurker who feels very guilty about it. Autostraddle has such consistently thoughtful and groundbreaking articles, and sometimes the best ones unfortunately don’t have that many comments. I know I should post, and a lot of times I’ll even write out multi-paragraph comments (especially on news/politics, tech, and books/TV articles), but I delete them out of fear they’re stupid and redundant. I almost deleted this just now, actually, but that would have been both ironic and counterproductive. So this is a good opportunity to turn over a new leaf, because community! And free stuff!
I do that too! I’ll have my whole comment typed out, and then delete the whole thing rather than click “submit”, because I think I sound dumb or my comment is unnecessary.
But it definitely inspires me to comment more knowing that my comments are welcomed and appreciated!
I understand your feels. I was a lurker on AS for like three years, maybe more before I ever commented. And I was SO nervous to comment.
I do the same thing.
I totally do that! But also, every time I have commented, my notes have been received with such enthusiasm and respect that it gets easier every time!
So rad. LesBeFriends errbody
What an incentive for a person like myself who reads, reads, reads, but limits her responses to witty commentary on Twitter (@SamanthaJGreen)
SAMANTHA!
The fact that I can feel my name being screamed though…lol
More witty commentary please!
Yay! I like this idea.
challenge accepted!
I AM SO HERE FOR THIS. TRACK ME, BABES.
ON IT
How fascinating! What a cool idea. When does the contest end? I usually comment on the Friday threads, but read many others. A good incentive to comment more.
oh der, the contest goes for 7 days. NEVERMIND.
Yay fun!
I am ready to share so many feelings with you all :~)
This is a great idea! Also I just want to say how much I love the graphic featuring the “gal pals” giggling together in their best sweater vests. I think they could be laughing at us because they know who A is, but they won’t tell. C’mon, ladies, the name of the week is “Tell Us Everything”!
Who are these “gal pals,” anyways? I was wondering that when I saw the picture.
@heatherannehogan is truly an artist
I love this! This place makes me feel so at home! I don’t know if would feel as empowered as I do without this community and this is just further proof ❤️❤️
I don’t know what I would do without this website <3
me either because then I wouldn’t know you!
we don’t know what we would do without you, so this is working out just fine right now in my eyes. <3
Well, this is the best part of my day so far! To be fair, I just got home from teaching college students who can’t add fractions and then a union bargaining session, so the bar was reeeeeally low.
ah! this is exciting! looking forward to reading everyone’s comments (and leaving my own, of course).
totally! I am most frequent on FOTs, and definitely keep track of certain folks that way, for never having been to A camp and being broadly certainly not one of the top commenters, I’m fond of so many folks here! I have also super noticed that often folks get really good support when they are having a hard time, I remember that happened for me once when I’d had a really bad week and folks were so sweet. really AS comments rival only captain awkward’s comment section for niceness. so yeah! way to go team!
aw, this is the best! ps, you should add all those FOT regulars on autostraddle social and maybe it would CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, just saying.
wait what is autostraddle social
yeah that what is that is that like PMing on this site I’m not good at that like somebody asked to be my friend a long time ago and I haven’t said yes yet not because I don’t like them I just forget.
@jajs and @shmerdyberdy: if you click your own avatar right now or click mine or really click anyone’s you’ll see they have a profile page and such. THAT’S IT! that’s autostraddle social! if you click the “members” tab up in the top right and hit “members” “groups” “my profile” or “private messages,” you can check out the different functions! you can update statuses, start groups, comment on people’s things, DM them, publicly talk to them, etc. etc. etc.
!!!!
Thank you! I never knew it had a name!
Autostraddle Social also known as ASS
this is super cool and as a fun fact i have been living in germany for almost a year and the other day i saw a student at my university wearing a scissoring t-shirt and i super freaked out because i never expected to see anyone representing autostraddle in germany! even though of course there are readers who live here, point being it was great
there are so many ‘straddlers in germany! are you in the europe meet-up group? get in there! https://www.facebook.com/groups/531248760270407/?ref=br_tf
I never knew about this group, thanks! Maybe there are others in Austria.
I write a lot of comments in my head, but hate swyping them into my mobile device. I wish there was a way to just brain dump onto here…
talk to text mayhaps? I totally feel you though; just got my computer back after 6 months of having a broken screen and commenting is definitely more desirable now than it was before
if anybody can figure out how to turn thoughts into comments on this website though, i’m willing to put money on cee, so.
I knew I would be into this when I saw the perfectly adapted Girl Talk graphic.
You guys are the best.
And as many have already expressed, this really is the only website where it’s not only not scary to read the comments, but where reading the comments actually enriches the experience.
Exciting!
I AM GONNA TRY SO HARD. i delete so many of my own comments! i have feelings but then by the time i am done writing them out, i hate myself and need a nap. but i love AS and i love reading AS comments and so i am going to participate my little heart out <3
You just summed up my feelings about commenting and TEU week perfectly, thank you!
STOP deleting your comments because they are ALWAYS insightful and wonderful!
xx your not so secret fan!
WELL WHAT A PERFECTLY LOVELY AND FLATTERING THING TO SAY!! thank you so much for saying it, ellaria! seriously that makes my day, and I love your comments toooooooo
Thank you for this piece, I like this. Wow.
<3 this meant everything
I rarely comment, but it makes me feel a tiny bit brave and more involved in this (AWESOME) community when I do, so I’m all about upping the incentive to interact more and get to know more of you guys online (and maybe someday at meet-ups and/or A-camp!). Bring it on!!
Wait, do “reply” comments count, too, or just the initial comments?
good question — reply comments definitely count! the conversations you have with each other are so great and important.
I completely agree! Thank you. :)
Alright, I’m in.
I love this idea (partially because I love when people comment on autostraddle! (comment y’all! the comments are so much better here than anywhere else in the ENTIRE LITERAL WORLD)) and also that tell us everything graphic! I want to print it out and put it on my wall!
Best comment session on the internet, hands down
I’m so glad you’re doing this! I really appreciate the comment section of Autostraddle. Comments are sometimes where we learn the most, especially in a thoughtful community like the AS community.
Also, of course: wow!
I love anything Straddleverse, so, hey, why not?
So excited about this
Welp – guess it’s about time to come out of the shadows? I’m a lurker on so many sites (prob too many) but Autostraddle is the only one where I consistently read pretty much every article PLUS all the comments. I guess I owe it to the commenting community (which is so lovely, supportive, and hilarious) to join in and show my support!
Yay! Come talk to us.
WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, as they say.
Hooray! Welcome!
This is such a cute way to prod us into commenting! Thank you for loving us as much as we love you!
Here for that gold-level membership, honestly.
I’ve been trying so hard to comment more, y’all. It would help if my internet machines would quit logging me out randomly :/
this is the only place in the world that I comment on articles yes I am ready to win prizes for my Autostraddle fangirling, yes
Well… if you insist. ;)
okay okay count me in on this one :)
I am so into this.
WOW.. Did you know ‘wow’ upside down is ‘MOM’? Just sayin’
Ooh boy this is going to test my natural fear of speaking too much but you know what? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS I’M GOING TO BE COMMENTING UP A STORM THIS WEEK (because maybe I always want to comment on everything anyway but my irrational fear of taking up too much space prevents me. NOT THIS WEEK, SATAN).
take up all the fucking space, @dittybop. ALL. THE. SPACE.
*voice shaking* HELL YEAH
#commentspreading
Yaasss! excited to start commenting more and win stuff maybe!
CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
I have similar thoughts! The gif did a good job of representing it! :)
OK, here goes: When I was taking the A+ survey, one of the responses was “Because Autostraddle or A-Camp changed my life,” and I picked that. But it’s really more like, “because when my life turned upside down, Autostraddle helped save it.” For some reason, nautical metaphors are popping into my head: safe port in a storm, anchor, lighthouse (especially lighthouse). And the comments have always played a big part in how Autostraddle is helpful to me.
Honestly, I don’t need the swag, and I’ll re-up my A+ regardless bc I want to support the site. So I’m not leaving this comment to up my count — I’m leaving it here bc this seemed as good a thread as any for saying THANK YOU.
I feel the same way, WR
I don’t need the swag, I pay for A+ because I want to support them and because I am lucky enough to be able to afford it. They were there for me so I want to be there for them
y’all. this is everything. NEVER LEAVE US! <3 <3 <3
I won’t! You’ll need a restraining order to get rid of me
Yah, I’m not leaving, either. Ever.
Also, a big thumbs-down to all the things in the world that are making people actually write out and then delete comments. Comments that I’m sure are 1000% more thoughtful/meaningful/constructive than most white cis bros ever made in their lives, but that doesn’t keep them from trashing up comments sections across the universe…
re
fucking
tweet
That was very empowering to read, thank you!
Yes, yes, this!
This is true. That makes me feel so much better about commenting, thank you.
This comment struck me to my core.
I love you Autostraddle. :)
Confession time: I just googled demisexual. Learned something new today….
Great idea! I used to comment a lot more than I do now, mostly because since a-camp started I feel like a lot of the regular commenters know each other and the staff in real life and it makes me feel left out. But I still read everything!
I agree with this sentiment
Me too!
woohoo! Challenge accepted! I love this idea and it’s a great way to make myself post more. I read all the time including the awesome and insightful comments, which is why I love this site so much. I don’t post nearly as much as I’d like though.
In case anyone was wondering, this is what imgur has to say about gay “wow”
i can’t handle this i like it too much oh my god thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
HA!
Since Orphan Black I read Doge things in Helena’s voice….and not just in my head.
Oh hi. This is exciting. I’ve been haunting articles for years but I rarely comment, so this is a nice incentive. A little safe space that’s much more friendly that most comment sections. :)
I am very here for this.
Guess I have to stop lurking now.
Yay! I’m so excited about this because I was JUST telling myself I need to set some goals to comment more on Autostraddle. I read so much… but never know quite what to say. I’m so excited and I love y’all.
Hopefully I can comment the heck out of stuff this week. I’ll try my best, but I’m gonna be on the road for several days heading to Colorado for my queer sorority national convention #GRLtakesDenver
wait tell me more about the queer sorority national convention though @tnbenn19293
It’s NOT the one Hansen was in and wrote about on Autostraddle (http://www.autostraddle.com/queer-and-in-a-sorority-145363/) (I’m sorry Ali I’m so bad at the link things in the comments). We’re Gamma Rho Lambda.
And we’re really a progressive sorority that’s historically LGBT. We accept people of most genders and all sexualities and it’s the THING that made my college life so awesome. I was one of the founding members of our chapter here.
So we all meet up once a year to hang out, meet siblings from across the country, learn new things about Greek life and feminism and friendship and family, and dance. (:
This will be my first time going and I’m excited and hoping it’ll feel a little bit like a “mini A-camp” and queer retreat for me. Plus we’re in Denver so that’s kind of like a mountain, right?
Lesbehonest you guys. The commenting has srsly gone down in the past months. I think this is a super cute way for us to come together more over the internet! I know how famous our FB page is and I hope we can get that kind of enthusiasm here!! =)
nurse viv, never change.
calling channel 9 forever
Autostraddle forever.
Channel 9 forever
I HAD THAT GAME, you had to put zits on your face that were these red sticker things and it was a very strange game. I never actually played it with actual humans though, just myself cause that’s my style.
I think giving everyone permission to just say like wow or w/e is awesome, often I want to say a thing, but then everyone else has already said the thing, and then I flashback to middle school where COPYING SOMEONE WAS THE WORST SIN YOU COULD COMMIT.
Finally: OTTER STRADDLE
the zits were the best part of the game imo
I had never even heard of this game but then it was on that surprisingly adorable movie Life Partners with Leighton Meester and I was very confused. I’m sort of glad to know it’s a real thing? Also kinda confused tbh. It sounds fun overall though!
This is such a good idea!
I got in the habit of not commenting when I first started reading Autostraddle because I wasn’t out to anyone, even myself, for the first couple of years. Now that I’m out to everyone, it’s probably time to start talking.
i love this
welcome to the party, Sally!
Where am I? Literally, in Mexico City for the next two weeks, for research. I’m pondering whether to meander over to the Zona Rosa and try going to a girl bar for the first time ever. The thing is, I’m not particularly into bars, and I’m a morning person. I do like dancing, though, especially when it’s not with guys… No sé. Anybody have any suggestions? Any Autostraddlers aquí (alliteration :))?
In other news, I somehow managed to get elected as vice-president of the Queer Graduate Caucus at my school. On the one hand, it sounds and feels strange, considering that two years ago I hadn’t thought beyond my disinterest in guys and plans to become a spinster aunt. On the other, I have become much bolder since then. I also have little idea what we’ll be planning in terms of activities. Picnics? Read-alouds of our favorite LGBTQ poets?
Congratulations Vice-President!
Picnics are always good! (Personally I’m a sober-sally, so any event that doesn’t revolve around alcohol and I am so there). Or a board games night? Amazing race? Ooohh geocaching. Hiking. Car rally. Cooking classes? OITNB marathon?
Thanks for the ideas… I also prefer to plan things without alcohol, especially since activities like what you mentioned seem less awkward when you don’t know anybody than, say, happy hours.
!!!!!
Why are you guys so awesome all of the time?
Autostraddle is pretty much my therapist already, so I’m going to use this as an opportunity to post more personal things.
Honestly, my future life-plan revolves mainly around helping Autostraddle take over the world.
I’ve never felt more connected to a community.
I am HERE FOR THIS what a neat idea I love this
Bueller………………Bueller………………….
I love any comment section that Courtney is in
AND WE LOVE YOU COURTNEY
This is such a great idea!
Woah so much love you’re all the bees knees
Also wow!
I’ll probably forget about this, but I’ll give it a go!
This is so exciting!
You all are top drawer!
Yay! I love you AS!
Hmm, I’ve been out 17 years and had to look up the word demisexual. I don’t know why it needs a word, since I figured that’s how most people are. What’s the word for people who are sexually attracted to strangers and people they don’t have a strong emotional bond with?
Love the comments on AS. Looking forward to playing along.
Hey! I’m demisexual, so maybe I can shed some light on the orientation.
I think people are often confused by the difference between acting on sexual attraction and experiencing sexual attraction. It’s true that many people will wait to ACT on sexual attraction until they’ve established a deep emotional bond, but sexual attraction usually comes first.
Ever had a (sexual) crush on a classmate you hardly knew? Or had sexual feelings for a celebrity, despite not having a personal connection? Yeah, I wouldn’t know much about that.
It’s easier to wrap your brain around if you remember that demisexuality is under the asexuality umbrella. Whereas asexuals usually experience no sexual attraction whatsoever, demisexuals may rarely experience it (or at least believe it may be possible for them to someday).
I for one am very glad we have the word demisexual, because it helps me explain to others why I don’t date, or experience crushes like they do.
As for the idea that most people are demisexual, I’d say that is definitely not true. Surveys show that 3.5 dates is the average time for people to wait until they have sex, and since attraction often appears before action, I’m slow as tar compared to most people.
Here is a great website with more information: http://www.asexualityarchive.com/under-the-ace-umbrella/
It’s more clear an coherent than I can be about it, so maybe I should’ve just posted it, instead of going on for several paragraphs. ;)
“Ever had a (sexual) crush on a classmate you hardly knew? Or had sexual feelings for a celebrity, despite not having a personal connection? Yeah, I wouldn’t know much about that.”
Yeah, not so much. Lol. I have a lot of arguments in my head that sound suspiciously like when I was trying to argue that I wasn’t a lesbian. The way I feel is normal to me, so I assume it’s normal.
But really, people want to sex with strangers?
I’m pretty sure there’s a spectrum of how much attraction people are capable of feeling to someone they don’t know/barely know/etc. I certainly do not want to have sex with people I consider to be strangers. On the other hand, I very much do not fit the description of demisexual. I can think someone is hot without ever saying a word to them, and there have been times I had pretty clearly sexual feelings towards someone on the occasion when I first met them.
Interesting. Thanks for those thoughts.
I’ve been creeping around autostraddle without commenting for a long while mostly because of the dorky username I created when I thought I would be a perpetual lurker. Oh well, because scissoring t-shirts are on the table–hello world!
Aw, I think tropicalpenguin is a really cute username! It makes me think of a penguin sipping a mai tai and laying on the beach.
I love the name Tropical Penguin
What is top drawer? Is it time for urban dictionary?
It’s always time for urban dictionary.
I AM SO EXCITED ALREADY!!!
I LOVE SEEING ALL YOUR COMMENTS!!!
I CAN’T STOP ALL-CAPPING!!!
can we have an all-cap week?
sorry
CAN WE HAVE AN ALL-CAP WEEK?!?!?!?
KAELYN I FEEL YOU ON THIS
I guess this is a good time to tell you the scarf in your propic keeps convincing me it’s a boa and you’re out of frame lounging on a chaise with a fancy fan and elbow length gloves. JSYK
this is awesome! i am currently unemployed and trying to fill my days with “productive activities.” commenting on every autostraddle article for the next week totally counts.
Things went very well when my gf encouraged me to talk more. Specifically, we fell hard in love I learned to value open communication.
So now autostraddle wants me to talk more and is blatantly offering Prizes?? OK I’m in.
Is this how you find out whether you have 7000 true fans?
without a doubt, yes.
Word.
Okay, I’m in. Commenting has been a goal of mine for a while, but I never do it. I guess here’s a chance to start!
So I’ve wanted to tell this story to someone but I just haven’t found the right time, you know?
I bought a bag of crispy M&Ms last weekend and I got really emotional about it. They were a favorite candy of my grandma’s. She *loved* all chocolate, but crispy M&Ms were serious business. She had a candy dish she left out for company, but when I came over she let me have the crispy M&Ms she hid in a personal candy drawer. It made me feel so special as a kid. She died over a decade ago, but the second I started eating those M&Ms the other day I felt like I was 9 years old in my Grandmother’s living room again. <3
Grandmas are awesome. Mine used to hide the chocolate tootsie pops ina cupboard for me to have when I visited. She died 6 months ago. I should buy some tootsie pops.
Your grandma sounds wonderful and I’m glad you’ve got these special memories.
My grandfather loved strong peppermints. We have a brand here in Australia called XXXX and they were his particular favourite. I remember one day I asked him if I could have one and of course, he cheekily handed one over and I thought that I’d won the lottery. Then my mouth was on fire and my head felt like it was going to explode. He laughed so hard, but there was no hint of malice in it, and I know it sounds strange, but I knew how much he loved me in that moment. Now I’m older I realise we have the same sense of humour and quick wit and I find that really humbling and so special.
Fist bump to you, friend. So many emotions.
Cool! Like ice! I’m so siked! (super fresh slant rhyme there). Happy Wednesday, billy goats!
Thank you for doing this. This article was great. When I first started reading autostraddle in 2012 one of the things that really kept me coming back was how great the comments section was. This is the best place on the internet.
Hello, fellow Diana Wynne Jones fan? Unless you have a remarkably coincidentally similar name to her character.
Well I probably won’t be able to comment as much as I like but hey, I’ll give it a shot!
Thank you AS for always making us feel special.
I read a lot of fanfiction and have tried to improve my commenting because I know how much it can mean to authors.
I’m trying here as well so I’m all for it!
I love the comments on Autostraddle. There is often so much extra information and experiences in there.
This week will be fun.
Thanks guys.
Bravo to whoever scrolled all the way to the bottom to see this comment. Yeah, I’m talking about you. I see that you’re willing to work to see quality comments (or that you just got bored and decided to read the entire comment section, not that I’ve ever done that…) I appreciate you, noble scroller. Remember to drink a glass of water if you haven’t already today. Also, your hair looks great.
Your hair also looks great. How do you keep it so smooth?
Hi Noel, great comment! Wishing you a great day! I’m off to get a glass of water…
instead of drinking water i’m pouring a glass out for anyone who had the misfortune to not read this comment
I’m in!
This is a great idea. I love that autostraddle is one of the few places where the standard warning of “never read the comments” definitely does not apply.
I’m in! I always read super interesting articles, and then find I never have time to comment, so this is good, I should comment more!
Um but of course.
I am juggling my budget to go Gold in the coming year, because you all have changed my life.
Just like this. Exactly as gay.
Glinda and Elphaba belong together! Also, I cry every time I hear this song (in a good way).
The first femslash I ever read was Galinda/Elphaba and Velma Kelly/Roxy Hart (lost to the annals of the internet, but I remember they were written by Jaida Jones, aka The Shoebox Project).
Perfect song for the occasion
I just had to…
Sorry, pasted a non-jpg. Let’s try this again…
Thank you, Autostraddle for creating a place on the internet that is loving and fosters such a great community. This is the only website I have ever found where I love to read the articles and the comments. Like, the comments actually make the posts even better. I get really nervous about doing anything on the internet, but I feel safe commenting on this site.
I mean, I guess you’ve twisted my arm. I’m looking for any excuse to put off reading Romeo and Juliet for class tomorrow, and this definitely helps. plus maybe prizes!
Will there be any surveys? Surveys are my favorite!
THIS. I’m currently waiting for a pizza to arrive and I may be more excited about the follow-up delivery survey than the pizza. I <3 surveys.
Bop.
im in.
Ooo! Fun!
Fun idea. Autostraddle reader comments are the best!
I completely 100% agree about what everyone saying about the comments on this site. I know that I can read all of the comments and not have to worry about seeing some deplorable horror put in words. I remember watching the youtube video of Nostalgia Critic on Wicker Man. There was a 100 comment thread denouncing feminism. I wanted to break my computer.
I know that is not the issue here. In fact I look forward to reading the comments. I have learned so much about race and privilege. Stuff I was not completely aware of. So thank you so much for that.
I have always felt afraid to comment. I tend to get long winded for one reason. Another is that I have lived with this feeling of being an outsider. Even on this site I have felt that way. You can say that I have never felt safe enough to express my opinion. I am going to certainly try this week.
Also Caitriona Balfe has made me more gay and 2010 Sophie/Sian Coronation Street episodes are the bomb.
Alright, you’ve convinced me to register ;)
I love everything about this. You are all brilliant and have shiny ideas. The end.
I’m in! <3
Yes!! What a great idea! I needed this incentive to comment more, tbh.
This is awesome! Gonna try to comment here more. I’ll get an idea of what to write, and then my wifi will suck, and I’ll forget to comment later.
This gave me the final push to create an account! I’ve been meaning to for a while – when I started reading autostraddle I wasn’t out and now I mostly am, and I’ve finally arrived at the point where I feel comfortable being more visible, creating an account on a queer website, etc…although I am definitely already falling into the nervous habit of writing and deleting comments! Anyway, autostraddle (and everyone who comments here) has definitely played a part in me getting to this point. So thanks, and hello!
Hey, look at you! High five for comfortable visibility :)
Yep yep yep!!! So into this!
Honestly, the comments are one of the best parts of this whole amazing organism that is Autostraddle. I have learned so much from all the commenters over the years and love the feeling of community that develops out of our interactions here. It’s just one more thing that helps me go “oh yeah, I’m not alone”, so that’s pretty much invaluable.
Have yoooooouuuuu (i.e. the radiant, amazing powers that be who run AS) ever thought about having a sidebar thread of some sort where people can comment that is separate from comments on an article? I love the feature of showing the most recent comments on current articles cause it draws my attention to things I might not have otherwise noticed/read (article and comment wise) so I feel like that should stay. I know you do friday night open threads but that never feels quite comfortable to me so I’ve never commented on it.
BUT what if there was something structured kinda like a facebook page where the latest comments are at the top? And it could even be collapsable where it just gets wiped at the end of the day or something. But then people who have random comments or whatever about things that aren’t specifically article related would have somewhere to “gather” as it were? I feel like maybe this would draw commenters from the facebook vortex and over here instead?
Just a random comment related thought!
I’m in!!
I’m excited to see what all of you lovely people have to say this week! :)
I love that so many people I know offline or only on FB have all commented here! This is going to be an interesting week. Lolzies!
I love this idea! I’ve surprisingly never even thought about commenting before when I always have thoughts on the articles I read! This will definitely get me started. Plus, I have an intense need for this type of community in my life.
Count me in. I’ve been telling myself I need to get more involved w/ autostraddle things and this is the kick in the pants I might want to actually start getting more into things.
OMG OMG. I WANT TO HUG YOU ALL.
I’ve been weird about making an account, but I really like free stuff… so I finally just did it. Yay.
This and The Dissolve are the only places on the Internet I read comments for FUN (Other places are for work and tend to destroy my soul). And today The Dissolve closed (I’m not okay about this AT ALL btw) leaving me more time to comment here, you lucky people.
OffBeat Bride/Home is also a good place for fun/respective comments!
Y’all scared me for a second – I thought you were moving everything to Facebook… that would be a bad idea, considering a lot of people aren’t out on social media!
I love commenting, but I know comment sections are dying. People are too lazy to type on their smart phones. Luckily I don’t have one, so here I am contributing!
I’m so in for this contest!!
You guys are the !
I’m feeling pretty queer these days and it’s partly the result of coming to this silly website pretty much everyday; and I’m loving it
Here’s my favorite emoji because you’re all great:
AS has the best comment section of all the comment sections in the Internet world.
This is the truth. For some reason, the internet has a tendency to bring out the worst in people – but this community seems free of trolls and internet bullies and general unkindness.
Exactly. And the worst REALLY comes out in comment sections that aren’t Facebook-linked or linked in otherwise identifying ways. So for AS to have a comment section full of, in a sense, unidentified users and still be as pleasant as it is… That’s amazing.
That is why I probably overshare, it feels safe.
Which is also why I may have had a moment of panic once or twice.
You guys are great. This place is great. Bless this place.
This comes at a great time for me cause although I’ve been reading articles for a while I’ve only started commenting pretty regularly over the past couple weeks; so yeah I’m in and will continue to do that for a chance to win free stuff <3 warning I might just talk about my cat a lot though. haha. No but for real I think the comment section is a huge part of this website feeling more like a community than just a website where you read articles; I love how it's in the form of articles mainly and yet it feels really interactive. Bring it on!
Could you post picture of this cat at some point?
Haha, pictures of him is practically all I have on my phone. Meet Huckleberry.
That is a perfect name for a cat, Huckleberry.
Do ever call him Huck for short?
+1 subscriber for cat news
Yay! Just posted a picture of the little man above :)
Huckleberry is such a beautiful cat and seeing his picture increases my desire to get a cat. (Which isn’t practical right now for various reasons, but hopefully eventually it will be)
OMG was not prepared for the gorgeousness.
Ginger cats are hands down, the best, most loyal companions. Also, what else is a phone for but pictures of our animals (and partners)?.
Like I need to be enabled to overshare.
And a gif problem, very cleary have a gif problem.
YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR-REAL-SIES??? Autostraddle, I love you more and more everyday you beautiful beautiful bastards.
*sings you the entirety of kendrick lamar’s “i’m real”*
Thank you for asking about my smooth face! I actually made a face peel with gelatin and milk in the microwave, covered my whole face in this shit, and pulled it off once it dried. It hurt like hell but now my face feels like a fancy pillow case.
The comment sections in this website are the only comment sections in the entire world wide web that do not make me want to bring extinction upon the human race.
Plus I really want an A-Camp hoodie since I’ll never be able to go to A-Camp because I’m poor and Europe-dwelling
I think they need something like that in their about.
Comment section will not make you to want to cock up the Earth’s regular gravitational orientation and sent it hurtling in to the sun just rid the verse of humanity’s stain. Join in rejoicing in this miracle of the modern age!
But a warning in there somewhere about how they will go mama moose on your ass if you try to tarnish the miracle.
^This.
You got me at the cute animals gif
And I just melted like chocolate on the pavement in July.
Niceness breaks my brain sometimes still and I don’t know what to do or how to respond even if I initiated the niceness.
Or especially when I initiated it like right now.
You are welcome for all the cute animal gifs, I’ve been there. Fuck people , fuck my lack of likelihood of ever getting to A-Camp ect and cute animals make it less sting-y.
Cute animal soothe the burning heart.
That was really cute, tbh
And I would like to share that after being cheated on and dumped by my (ex)long-term partner, I have found someone that looks at me like I mean the world to them, I’m having the best lesbian sex EVER, I got accepted into one of the top MA programmes in the world for my field of studies and this summer I’ll be crossing the English Channel in a yatch full of adorable baby-LGBT persons.
So things are looking up. Take that (ex)long-term partner
Oh oh
and coincidentally all I’ll be doing during Tell Me Everything Week will be going to the beach, eat pizza, play videogames and have sex (featuring my person and my first ever vibrator).
Oh my. So many things going on
I do not like the loser/winner dichotomy being applied to people but you are a winner and your ex is a loser.
:P
What a great idea! So appropriate to the site I have described as ‘the only place left on the internet where it’s safe to read the comments. And enjoy watching the community very politely and articulately shut down the occasional nutjob’
Does anybody ever hesitate to comment on something sometimes because you find the comment number so beautiful you just want it to stay that particular number and wouldn’t like yourself for causing it to become another number, but when someone inevitably comments and changes it to a bleh number you have the urge, nay the need to comment so it’ll be a number you find pretty or like better?
And I have a crush on Laneia’s profile picture.
There. I said it.
I’ll stop now
Laneia is very crushable in Real life too
I’m in. I tend to do things in moderation though, and though I love it here I am not about to change my ways (early onset grumpiness and curmudgeon’s disease) and become a go getter, and be successful by the time and retire before I am 45. I am not a fan of goals and deadlines, so I am here for vibe of the thing, so I guess I won’t win but I am here for the excellent comments and commenters. I find it a bit sad that people aren’t leaving time to comment when they could be part of Autostraddle. Seriously, you guys and one other website I frequent lead the world. Im here for a good time AND a long time. I won’t bust my foo foo valve in a week.
Now you
Now, you got not only my attention.
*slow clap*
Thank you for bringing this back into my life
Autostraddle and Metafilter were my two sites that broke the “never read the comments” rule. And Mefi for some reason is getting more horrible (to the point that I deactivated for 2 weeks and only came back because someone posted one of my articles on the front page).
What I find really fun is meeting people from the AS comments IRL. And not just at A-Camp (which I find overwhelming) but like in random situations, at events or parties or houses or whatever. (And then sometimes hooking up with them wink wink wonk wonk)
You are fantastic, I am sure you know that.
I just wanted to say it.
awwwww <3
Same! I haven’t been to MeFi in a while–I’m really sorry to hear it’s been shitty lately.
What a great idea! Love you guys .Truly rooly.
And i love your avatar! Have a huge crush on Dorothy. Brains, risky fashion choices and an ability to speak with rats, and I’m sold!
You know what I love? The fact that you guys genuinely care about what we think and put so much time into making things better. You all rock!
Yes!!!! I’m really into this
Guys your comment section is like the local queer tea shoppe I wish existed IRL. Thanks for that.
Cool! I kind of never comment I feel like I’m not good at it, but I will try this week!
Wow! I didn’t think this site could get any more awesome than it already was.
autostraddle, you’re the best <3
So no joke, the other day I had this random thought that maybe in the next few weeks, The Team would put up a shout out post highlighting what they love about random members. For example Carmen SanDiego, who is just so insightful and helps to answer the question of where she is – (I mean, where else would she be but on Autostraddle??)…AND THEN I LOG IN AND THIS HAPPENS!
I just love y’all so much. So very, very much.
Here I am!
Rock me like a hurricane!
I am apparently one of many who has lurked here for years and is filled with affection for you all, but also shyness. This website was instrumental to my coming out process and is my little connection to the gay world as I sit at home in NH for the summer. Thanks for providing me with this encouragement and opportunity to join this rad community and maybe win some free stuff!
This is simultaneously such a lovely and savvy idea. I really appreciate how Autostraddle’s business model is continually built around user/reader community interests, even whilst having to expand revenue, do SEO crap, etc. Good luck <3
What a great idea! I’m a long-time lurker recent (within the past few months) poster so I’m totally down for this. I have to say, my favorite time to post is on Friday. Telling you guys what happened during the week is cheaper than therapy!
Cheers to being a long-time lurker and recent poster!
Oh, yeah. I’m like an OG lurker, we’re talkin’ about almost 4 years! I figured I would let all of you wait for my witty commentary.
I have always been too nervous to comment since I am barely out to anyone, but this gave me the incentive to stop lurking.
I feel like this is kind of lame, but it was a summer goal of mine to get the courage to comment on articles, so this little contest thing is exciting!
We have your back, Cee! We’re generally nice folks. We don’t bite…hard.
This is awesome! Autostraddle is the only website that I actually look foreword to reading comments on. I remember being so amazed that there was a disclaimer on an article about bisexuality warning people that bi phobic comments would be deleted. This community really feels like a safe place.
Also so many of yall are super funny and super smart! Sometimes I enjoy the comments as much as the articles.
I love that there are 253 comments on this article already! Committing to commenting this week and to being more active going forward.
Count me in. This is a nice nudge to participate in an awesome community.
wow!! i’ve always kind of kept my head down and lurked on this site, but maybe this week i’ll finally try and get into the community that i’ve loved so much from afar for, like, three years now. count me in!
Come on in! :)
This is so exciting! Awesome idea!
You guys are awesome. I am generally rubbish at commenting these days (IDK, I sometimes think I used up all my comments back in the days of LJ) but this is definitely an incentive to follow through on the ‘I should really comment on that’ thoughts I have so often!
Please do! Even if it is just an, oh wow, this is great type comment.
this is why AS is ahead of like every curve in terms of building awesome, real community. the Internet is so #blessed to have kickass content creators like y’all.
This is pretty rad!
WOW HI EVERYONE YOU ALL LOOK SO BRIGHT AND SHINY MY HEART IS GLOWING
I don’t internets well (hence the lurker status) but I made a log in thing and will aim to comment on more than just this post. Here goes nothing!
P.S. Autostraddle is Awesome
Yay! Welcome to the party, i’m wearing a hat that says GREETINGS. Actually, I’m not really. I don’t want my first interaction with you to be a lie.
I feel you. I aspire to some day include a picture in my comment, but interneting is hard sometimes.
Awesome
This is exactly what I’ve been craving, a chance for some renewed community engagement with reading, writing, and thinking womxn, queers, and those among us. This will be fun.
alright, i’m down!
This is excellent. As a social strategist, I have to commend whoever came up with this. Because it is SUCH A GOOD IDEA. YAAAAAAAY! Time to get my comment on :D
Sidenote, I accidentally typed ‘sexcellent’ first… I think it still fits :P
what a lovely idea. i’m in :)
Aw man! It started the day AFTER my birthday. I could’ve told you guys about my birthday otherwise.
Happy belated birthday!
You could still tell everyone about your birthday! (Happy Birthday!)
Yooooooo! I am in there like swimwear! Good to know my suggestion may have lead to this!
Yay for more commenting, yay for more participation!
LETICIA I LOVE YOUR FACE
also a column playtesting GirlTalk/Tales of the Crystals/Atmosfear/board games of our youth in general would be really awesome and I would volunteer as tribute.
I have been a long time AS reader and I just wanted to say how much I love this site! I don’t comment often, now I’ve got a reason to! :-)
So excited about this! I think this is an absolutely fantastic idea, and even though I’m gonna be in a place more or less without internet access starting Tuesday, I’ll find a way. I think it’s so awesome that you’re promoting reader participation this way; the respectful interaction between the staff and those who visit the site is one of the reasons I love Autostraddle so much.
Also the one year bronze membership I won expires in a couple months and I can’t (yet) pay for another one so this is a fun opportunity.This is really a great idea for community engagement!
Did anyone pull the doge-style comment yet? Many comment. Wow. Much prizes!
Hey! Signed up just for this! Wow!
Yessssssssss. (Also, hi!)
Yay! Wow!
Another long-time reader, first time commenter here! I’m going to try to comment more, despite my shyness in doing so– this is the only website where I enjoy the comments, and I want to help things stay that way!
this is such a great idea! thank you, brilliant perfect AS team, for continuing to foster community in such an awesome space :)
I am so down for this! What a great way to build community.
Ahh ! Oh my goodness. I usually love to read all the comments before commenting myself, but this has already facilitated so many comments and I am so excited that I haven’t made it through yet.
I just wanted to add to the conversation that I love that Autostraddle is an intentional community. Intentionality in developing relationships is so important and, from reading the comments so far, so many of us have a hard time reaching out. It seems like this effort has already been successful!
Well this is an amazing idea.
I’m so excited for this!
I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU ALL AND I WANNA MEET YOU ALL SOME DAY MAYBE AT CAMP!?! <3
I’m so happy about this; I’ve been meaning to comment far more to Autostraddle for actual years so it’s pleasant to have a kick-up-the-backside. Like others have mentioned, I often want to comment and then delete it for fear of sounding silly, so hopefully this will give me confidence! :)
this is so neat! thanks. and wow!
wow!
so…This actually IS my first post ever, even though I have been reading AS since 2009/2010.
I think I have never commented because I feel like nothing of what I say could be interesting/important to you or anyone else, but since Carmen has asked so nice, here I am!
Autostraddle and its staff is very very dear to my <3
That hoodie shall be mine! But seriously I need it since just moved from SoCal to the PNW and I don’t even own longsleeves :(
OK, I’m in. Officially delurking.
I’ve been reading AS for a long time, but I haven’t participated in the commenting for all the reasons so many others haven’t participated. Just knowing that there are other folks out there afraid to join in gave me some courage to put my voice out there.
I’m not here for the swag (though that’s a pretty sweet deal and a surefire motivator). I’m here because I’m realizing that if I appreciate something, I should show it. And if there’s a group of intelligent, super cool humans having awesome discussions, I want to join that group. So thank you, intelligent, super cool humans! I want to be one of you!
Straddling this week so hard… :-)
Totally down for this! I have some personal issues with commenting around people I don’t know where I feel like they are not going to care about what I have to say, so maybe now is a good time to try to get past that :)
*wraps you in soft blanket and hands you a snack*
this is such a real feeling. your words are important and we’re glad you’re here sharing them <33
I used to comment on a semi-regular basis, but eventually realized I knew too many people who read AS (welcome to Madison, WI, home of the highest number of Autostraddle readers per capita), and I pretty much stopped. I had once regarded AS as a space that allowed me to share things anonymously, so knowing that people in my actual 3D life might be reading stuff I wrote made me kind of uncomfortable. (Unfortunately, it’s easier for me to be honest and talk about my feelings with complete strangers than it is with my friends and family. Working on it.) Maybe others can relate to this?
Still, the comments section is one of my favorite things about Autostraddle. You can always count on straddlers for intelligent, thoughtful discussion following an article, unlike commenters on the rest of the internet!
you know what, I might as well try to leave 5+ comments this week! even if my comment-contest-winning-karma was eaten up by the Orange party.