28 Super Lesbosexy Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas

shutterstock_118651939Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and you’re probably busy licking cupcake frosting off your fingertips and haven’t thought yet about what to get that oh-so-special someone in your bed. Well we’ve thought about it. Like, A LOT. We’ve done little else, to be honest with you. We don’t even know you but we do know that we love you. Anyhow, here are some other sexy gift guides from winters past:

+ Sex Toys Shopping Guide (2012): Our resident sexpert gives you her favorite harnesses, Cuffs, Vibrators, Penetration Toys and More!

+ Clit Lit Shopping Guide Guide (2012) – Our resident sexpert and erotica writer on her favorite steamy reads.

+ Last-Minute Valentine’s Day Guide (2011) – Rachel Vanning from Babeland breaks it all down for you.

+ Strap-On and NSFW Lesbosexy Shopping Guide (2010): Solid excursion into getting your first harness and dildo as well as erotica and other sexy gift ideas like celebrity lesbian fists

+ NSFW Sunday Gifting Guide (2010): Porn, off-the-beaten-path sex toys, cozy underpants and edible concepts.

Here’s some lesbosexy ideas for you.


1. Midnight Confessions Lipstick & Nail Polish Set ($38) – Leave a mark.

2. Calvin Klein Stretch 2-Pack Trunk Set ($34) – For black hearts and bleeding hearts.

3. Burberry Sport ($44.94) – Burberry could probably make a tree smell sexy.

4. Tommy Hilfiger Women’s Logo Waistband Pajama ($32.98) – Easy access.

5. Heart 2 Heart Cuffs ($35) – For a strapping good time.

6The We-Vibe 3 ($139) – The We-Vibe was the best thing to happen to hands-free vibrators when it first came out. It actually is hands free and meant to be worn during penetrative sex with its slim profile and ability to hug clit and g-spot at the same time. Then, with the update, they gave us a wireless remote control with a ten-foot range, thanks be to lesbian Jesus.

7. Straddle This” Boxer-Briefs ($16) – To the point.

8. Not a Hater Top ($34.99) – It’s been approximately 25 minutes since the sex ended and you’re kinda cold now and it’s time to put some clothes back on and we think this sweatshirt would look adorable with or without your underpants. [UPDATE 12/13 – sold out]

9. Agent Provocateur Jaccinta Brief ($130) – For the eminently classy femme in your life.


1. Wonderland Heavenly Heart Waterproof Vibe ($38) – It also sort of looks like Mickey Mouse, which is interesting in its own right.

2Lelo Flickering Touch Massage Candle  ($29)- This is so cool because when it melts, the wax becomes massage oil, and everything smells so nice.

3. Rodeoh ($49-$84)- We can’t stop talking about the Rodeoh, obviously. You can get just the briefs for $49, a strap-on combo for $83 or — OR!!! — the TRUNKS, also for $49.

4. Bound ($14.95) – Seduce your lover with this classic lesbian sexathonical film. Wolfe’s also got two new hot lesbo titles with sexual overtones and undertones, for example Kiss Me and Jessica Clark’s latest, A Perfect Ending.

5. Under-the-Bed Restraint System ($69) – These restraints (read our review here) are particularly handy if you are fond of tying up people who don’t have a headboard with bars or even a bed frame. The cuffs are wide with velco closures, which means that they are entirely adjustable and that they’re fun to fight against but won’t leave bruises or permanent damage. You can also skip the under-the-bed part and clip them together as handcuffs.

6. Autostraddle Calendar ($13) – In honor of it already being 2013, the super-sexy Autostraddle Calendar can be yours for a mere $13.

7. The Harder She Comes ($17.62) – This anthology, edited by D.L. King, pays homage to the butch-femme dynamic in the sexiest of ways. Even if no other stories existed in this book, “Channeling Charles Bukowski” by Aimee Herman is worth the entire price. But every single one of these stories is crazy good.

8. Cherry Boppin’ Flogger ($59) – This full-sized flogger has a 7.5 inch handle with 20 inch tassels. Made from repurposed bicycle tubes, it’s both intimidating and environmentally conscious! [UPDATE 12/13 – Sold out! Try this one instead.]

9. John W. Nordstrom Argyle Cashmere Socks ($33.16) – Everybody must get toed.

Calvin Klein Men’s Stretch 2 Pack Trunk Set valentine's day-001

1. Kissable Body Pen ($15) – I’ll let Victoria’s Dirty Secret sell this sucker: “Play a tease party game. Write a naughty message with this sweet body treat. Then seal it with a kiss and massage in to indulge in pure, delectable intimacy.”

2. My Side/Your Side Pillow (£22) – “For the Bed Hogger in your Life”

3. Sasha Harness ($150)- A femmey take on the oh-so-popular-now underpantsharness concept.

4. DuWop Lip Venom Second Sin ($27) – This lip-plumping stuff is pure magic.

5. 69 Love Songs by The Magnetic Fields ($33.16) – Self-explanatory.

6. Grey Knit Legwarmers With Red Felt Heart ($35) – Ugh so cute.

7. Fred Flare Heart-Shaped Sunglasses ($15) – For Lolita roleplay. [UPDATE 12/13: Sold out. Try these instead.]

8. Liberator Heart Wedge ($55) – Beds were made for sleeping, wedges were made to assist a variety of lovemaking positions. [UPDATE 12/13: Sold out. Try this one instead.]

9. She and Her: Lesbian Sex Positions from Intimate and Sensual to Wild and Naughty ($11.53) – This book comes out on Tuesday, just in time for you to also come and/or come out.

10. Paul Smith Bicycle Tie ($150)- Wouldn’t this look cute with absolutely nothing else on?

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Riese is the 41-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3202 articles for us.


  1. Ugh if I were wearing those CK trunks I would probably want to do myself.

    I just really like trunks.

  2. Awesome round up! Love the CK trunks.

    I’m probably being really dense here, but can someone explain to me how the We-Vibe works?? I’ve been staring at it for about 15 minutes and I can’t figure it out.

    • So see how the We-Vibe is shaped like a C but one end is small than the other? The smaller end gets inserted into the vagina and the bigger end gets situated right over the clit. It’s not tight feeling, but it uses that C shape to stay in place. Both ends vibrate, so one winds up with stimulation both internally and externally. And it’s skinny enough to enjoy *ahem* other things along with it.

      • Should say smaller than the other. I am convinced my computer autocorrected that. Convinced, I tell you!

      • Does it ever. Although the person at the store told me people either HATE it or LOVE it. I haven’t heard of anyone who hates it though.

        • I’m one of those people that REALLY hates the we-vibe. I bought it to use while wearing my harness and it is way too long for my body (as in it over-reaches both spots it’s supposed to hit) and doesn’t stay in my body unless I turn it to the side slightly which completely defeats the purpose of the toy. If you know for a fact that your g-spot is positioned closer to your vaginal opening or you are a particularly petite person (as I am) the we-vibe probably won’t work out that well for you. For a smaller design, try the Tiani or Noa by Lelo (the Tiani is remote controlled just like the we-vibe III). Keep in mind that these two toys don’t have motors in the insertable end like the we-vibe(although this makes the insertable end thinner than the we-vibe which is better for people with smaller vaginal openings)

          I work at a sex toy store and I can also vouch for the fact that most people either love or hate the we-vibe

  3. ugh THANK YOU, i needed this list. pretty sure my girlfriend would smother me with those my side/your side pillows, though, considering how i take up about 80% of the bed…STILL WANT THEM.

  4. Not sure about the CK Trunks for myself, but I know a few girls that would appreciate them and look awesome in them! – I’d welcome the Agent Provocateur briefs for myself – that’s $130 US dollars right? around £80 – bloody expensive but I’d rock those!

    The leg wamers are kinda cute..damn, there’s a lot there that belong together – I’d feel bad buying one and not giving a good home to the rest!

  5. Thanks for the gift ideas! My lady thanks you too. She just doesn’t know it yet.

    Buuuut I feel the need to throw a word of caution out about the Rodeoh harness. She surprised me with one last month (she does me good, that one) but we have used it exactly once. It was amazing, and we were super into it, and I was loving it, until…

    The ring around the dildo, thicker and harder than we thought, smashed into my clit and actually injured it to the point where the softest tongue was painful. It made for a sexless 3-day weekend and a very frustrated me.

    Maybe it was an angle thing. I would like to try it again. But I have been too gun-shy to try, and she’s terrified of hurting me…

    Anyone else?

    • Yes, me! I found the ring to be incredibly uncomfortable on the…uh…receiving end as well. It felt like my labia were getting crushed, so much that I had to cut the playtime short and take a few days off.

      My girlfriend was dismayed, to say the least.

      We’ve since tried it a second time, and it’s fine if she doesn’t get to feisty, but I’d prefer a toy that doesn’t require such delicate behavior, tbh.

  6. Was I the only one actually licking frosting off my fingers when I opened this article? It was hilarious. And thanks for the ideas :)

    • Totally not! I bought my first pair of cuffs for myself. When I saw them, I fell in love and knew I had to have them. For a few years afterwards, I didn’t have partners who were interested, but I never regretted buying them, in part because they were 100% mine no matter what.

  7. Burberry is well-known for cruelty to animals. Many other items look GREAT, but I wouldn’t want ANY gift that came from that company.

  8. I don’t think I can accurately portray through comment my excitement re: boyshorts that are also a harness.

  9. I haven’t tried the We-Vibe, but every vibe I’ve tried so far has been vastly disappointing. I find that if its powerful enough to be more than merely distracting, its painful. I’ve never talked to any other girl who has had that problem though, and I’m beginning to think I’m just weird.
    Apart from that, I think I want every single thing on the list lol.

  10. Dude, when I was at Good VIbes last week, they had the other vibes in the ‘Wonderland ‘ series on display AND THERE’S A ONE WITH THE CHESHIRE CAT AND THEY KEPT ITS CREEPY SMILE ON THE VIBE. I mean I love cats but I can’t with that.

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