First name of your worst enemy in elementary school:
If you could only read one set of books for the rest of your life would it be the 50 Shades series or the Twilight Series?
If I’m forced — Twilight. Somehow it’s more believable than 50 Shades. And at least there’s glitter and emo teenage angst involved.
Complete this sentence: My car smells like…
I just farted in it. Because honestly I probably just did.
Do you have any piercings or tattoos?
I have technically four tattoos; three birds on my foot (Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds) and a symbol of humility and strength on my knee.
Last place you threw up?
In my own toilet, like a goddamn adult.
What’s the last show you wanted your money back from?
I accidentally saw, Why Him? at a friend’s house, on bootleg. I still want money back because time is money and it was a complete waste of time!
Who would be your dream standup audience of one?
Whoopi Goldberg. She’s a great inspiration and I’m really angling to play the lead role in a Sister Act 3 reboot.
Fuck/Marry/Kill: Jared Leto, jar of Nutella, a school bus.
The only thing I know for sure, is that I would be very DTF a jar of Nutella. Again. Between Jared Leto and a school bus, technically I’d rather marry a school bus, but I don’t want to see a person die.
Cupcakes or muffins?
This is the toughest question. They both are great. I’ll say muffin, because then I get to pretend that I’m making a healthy choice by eating it.
Worst thing you’ve ever eaten?
Anybody’s home cooking without seasoning. Why is salt so scary? What did pepper do to you??
Anything else you want to add?
Most importantly — if you’re in the Bay Area, check out my upcoming play, How To Be A White Man. It’s a satire exploring my life as a Black Queer comedian that I co-wrote with my good friend, Jennifer Lewis. It’s produced by Faultline Theater and directed by a gifted young WOC director, Nikki Meñez — more info on my site and faultlinetheater.com.
You can find Luna online @LunaIsAmerica on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook, and at LunaIsAmerica.com.
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My favorite questions are the F/M/K with 1 person and 2 inanimate objects. These are great and hilarious. Thanks!
I enjoyed all of this but this was my fave:
‘Between Jared Leto and a school bus, technically I’d rather marry a school bus, but I don’t want to see a person die.’
WHAT can happen as a result of ‘disuse’?? This is important information.
I’d like to see broader poll results of the no more sex vs. no more Internet question, with distribution across different age groups to see if it correlates with the supposed trend of younger people having less sex and spending more time online. Failing that, the F/M/K questions were my favourite.
I am so excited to read part 2 of this, and also I love Sara Benincasa
this was so funny hi
hi and thanks!
i had to google both “brats” and “scottie pippen” and i feel much more prepared for my trip to chicago now
Don’t forget to take lots of sweatpants!
fun fact: I own zero sweatpants because I wear yoga pants that riese recommended on this site like 7 years ago
I guess I need to step up my pants game
another happy customer of my excellent fashion advice
this was very enjoyable to read
^so was this
I needed this! Sooo funny! :)
Don’t mock our tall bread pies!
Don’t mock our tall bread pies!
But this was amazing. More please!
Episode 2: https://www.autostraddle.com/10-stupid-questions-with-10-hilarious-queer-women-part-2-378646
This was great