If you had to choose, would you rather be trapped in a hot car with a Taco Bell fart or a hot dog burp?
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life what would it be?
Cool Ranch Doritos Taco Supreme from Taco Bell; although question one is making me reconsider.
Fuck/Marry/Kill: A case of La Croix, a memory foam mattress, Scarlett Johansson.
Kill: Memory Foam. Memory foam sucks; it hurts my back to sleep on and it provides zero bounce back for your intimate go times! You get in a spot and stay stuck. No good. Pass. You’re dead to me, MF.
Marry: Scar Jo. I’d like to read the morning papers side-by-side with this woman from now until the end of time. That face. Those lips! I imagine matching Adirondack chairs and coffee mugs that are just a touch too heavy for real comfort but sure look great in her hands.
Fuck: La Croix. Pamplemousse. All day, every day.
Dumbest way you’ve ever gotten injured?
I was “hazing” a couple guys during some college activity and told them they had to jerk off in the limo. I immediately got scared they’d actually do it (they didn’t), ran away, fell in a hole and broke my foot.
Finish this sentence: The bottom drawer of my dresser…
Is full of pants.
Most awkward thing a gyno has ever said to you:
“This can happen as a result of ‘disuse.'”
If you were a dildo, which one would you be and why?
One that never really fits in.
Which Pokémon are you?
Favorite board game?
Pandemic! It’s a cooperative board game where you pretend to be doctors and scientists and people who work at the CDC and you try to save the world from dying from infectious disease.
How many times a week do you floss?
All the times. I’m not gross. Okay, three.
Next page: Karinda Dobbins