Welcome to You Need Help! Where you seek advice and we try our very best to give it.
This has traditionally been done by way of individual Formspring accounts, Autostraddle’s Tumblr and a Formspring Friday column, which has all been very fun and insightful. But, because Formspring has a character limit and we’re wildly optimistic w/r/t our time-management skills, we thought we’d go one further and let you use our ASS private messaging to share advice-related feelings, too.
For more info on sending in questions, see the bottom of this post. Let’s get down to bossing people around on the internet! Today is a very special You Need Help: Special Fashion Unit.Q:
My manager thinks it would be good for my career to push my edgy/alternative look. I already have an asymmetrical alternative lifestyle haircut, but besides that I look pretty boring. How do I look more “edgy” without looking like I’m 15 years old?
So your manager wants you too look a certain way eh? It’s funny, most people get told to look less “alternative.” I’m not sure what job you found where looking “edgy” is a bonus, but rock on. I suppose this makes sense if you’re an artist/musician/stripper/bartender. So, let’s see!
First of all you should get a couple of tattoos. Just kidding! That’s the worst idea ever. Since it sounds like it was your manager’s ideas to fire things up and not yours, don’t do anything permanent! You could think about getting a piercing or two, but even that is something you’ll have when you’re not at work and could potentially leave scars. Even dying your hair is something you have to carry around with you all the time. With that in mind, be true to yourself! If you’re happy with the way you dress you don’t have to change just because your manager says to. That being said, remember that she’s asking you to change how you dress, not who you are. We all have to put on our “work clothes” sometimes.
Since your manager is the person who thinks you should try to look more edgy, I suggest you ask him/her what they had in mind. This is actually good advice for anyone who’s is asked to dress differently for work. It’s absolutely appropriate to ask “What specifically would you like me to wear?” This seems awkward and forward but it’s absolutely acceptable. Maybe you’ll find all your manager thinks you need to spice up your look is a leather jacket and some combat boots. You’re the one being asked to spend money to change something about your appearance, and therefore you have a right to know what they specifically want you wear so you don’t waste your time.
Now that we have that sorted out, it’s time to think about your look. For starters, think about what you want to look like. There are a lot of ways to stand out. Maybe you want to look like a pin-up or sort of mod. Maybe you want to look a little goth or kind of punk. Maybe it’s time to up the ante on your hipster appeal. Maybe you want to look really really really gay. Whatever you decide, it’s best to choose a look that’s somewhat consistent with your lifestyle, i.e. not wearing a shirt for a band you’ve never heard of. This will probably blow up in your face. Additionally, ease into a new look. Nothing is worse than spending a ton of money on new stuff only to decide that you just hate what you see in the mirror.
To start off you might want to try some makeup. If you’re a makeup wearing kind of girl, we have a great makeup type article. If you are not the makeup wearing type, that’s totally no big deal at all. There are plenty of non-makeup ways to change things up in your look.
Accessories are always a great way to create a more alternative look without spending too much money. A white V-neck and skinny jeans looks very different with high heels, a cardigan and a pearl necklace than it does with a pair of Nike Dunks and a bandana around your neck. Perhaps you just want to start with a couple of leather cuffs or a few new bandanas. Maybe a bomb ring to make you stand out. Even just a couple of necklaces can look really edgy. How about some boots? There are tons of adorable, queer, alternative, awesome boots out there. You might be shocked how much more you stand out with just a few small accessory changes.
Once you become comfortable branching out with accessories, you can start to think about new clothes you want. You can certainly get stuff cheaply second hand or from cheaper clothing stores to start out. The key is the be brave about what you’re wearing. You want to wear a vest over a leather jacket over a zip up over another vest? Go for it. Keep in mind layering and pairing articles of different lengths.
Finally, I totally understand your concern about looking 15. When I dress super trendy I sometimes worry I look like a junior high kid let loose in Forever 21. You didn’t say exactly how old you are, but there are general guidelines to follow to keep from looking like a baby. Basically the key is to avoid anything too tight, short or bare. Additionally, you want to remember that you’re going for a look, not a costume. Too many accessories are one thing in particular that will put you right over the edge. Trust yourself. If you look in the mirror and you’re first instinct is “I’m too old to wear this,” you probably are. Finally, choose an outfit based on where you’re going. What looks alternative at a concert is very different from what looks alternative at a wedding. Keeping that level of appropriateness in mind will ensure that you look and feel your age.
If you really get stuck with putting together a look, you can always check out the girls of I’ll Have What She’s Wearing.
If none of those help, maybe check out some of these articles:
+New Year’s Eve Fashion Part One: What To Wear That’s Not A Suit Or Tie
+I’ll Have What She’s Wearing: Jess
+I’ll Have What She’s Wearing: Ericka
+Autostraddle Accessory Guide: Part 1
+Autostraddle Accesorry Guide: Part 2
If you have more fashion questions you’d like to see me cover, I encourage you to write me on ASS or ask me anonymously on the autostraddle fashion formspring. If you have a quick question like, “Does wearing green and purple together make me look like a goblin?” then you can also tweet me @OhHeyItsLizz.
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