Hey there my absolutely down bad zodiac-sign havers. Wondering what kind of queer sex your sign’s going to be having this fall? I’m going to tell you, don’t worry. Take it as a suggestion, by the way, not a prediction. These are goals to lean into, vibes to ascend to, hot thoughts to think. YMMV.
Virgo season is over. And as horny and kinky as Virgoes can tend to be, this season also occurred with a Venus Retrograde, which I’m hearing is all about discovering, learning, accepting the kind of love you need and deserve — and if breakups were involved, facing facts about the kind of treatment you do not deserve. Now, it’s time to put away your to-do lists and get out your Who-To-Do lists because temperatures are dropping, there’s a chill in the air, and Michael’s apparently has pastel Halloween decor on sale.
It’s time for our favorite thing, which is finally being able to sleep under heavy covers again — a gift that climate change is slowly, gradually robbing us of as it shaves off more and more cool nights every year. Might as well enjoy it while we got it, right? Also, Mercury is pulling out of retrograde, so get ready to feel like you can actually communicate again. Which, as a frequent advice giver and editor here at Autostraddle — I can tell you that one thing we will never shut up about is the fact that when it comes to sex and queer sex, communication is key.
So get ready to hop under the covers, rot (hotly) under a weighted blanket, or dive into that pile of stuffies with someone sapphic and sexy and read on for your fall sex horoscope!
Put down your pencils and do your carpal tunnel stretches because we’re getting back to basics. Not only is this a classic for a reason, it’s also coming up for your zodiac sign’s sexy horoscope outlook because this fall, you’re going to want to pay attention to your partner and learning more details about them. With hand sex, fingering your partner, muffing your partner, fisting your partner, or receiving any of these things — the meeting of those sensitive nerve endings under the pads of your fingers and the blood and nerves and energy pulsing under your partner’s skin (or vice versa, can’t leave the bottoms out of this) will teach you so much, about what feels good, about what your partner desires, about where you are, how to be present, and what you want.
Libra, you’re not exactly known for your enjoyment of delayed gratification, but as we move out of the recent convergence of retrogrades and embrace intentionality and slowness, there’s no better time to get comfortable under the covers and draw things out, nice and slow. New to the concept? Here’s how to edge. Whether you’re edging yourself during some under-the-covers-autumnal-masturbation, edging a partner or being taken to the brink again and again by someone yourself, this exercise will help you let go of your need to always be thinking three steps ahead. It’s time to be present, Libra, maybe so present you forget your own name.
Putting Your Secret Fantasy Into Words
It’s time to put in the effort to enact a long-thought-about but under-discussed or under-realized fantasy of yours. Whether you’ve been hesitant to explore these thoughts yourself, or you’ve given yourself pause with a partner, it’s time to ask yourself what you’re losing by not opening up the floor to give these ideas some air. You’re a dark Pandora’s box of desire. What’s the worst that could happen if you cracked the lid? Maybe not the best metaphor, but you get it. That thing that’s pulsing inside of you? There’s no better time to whisper it into someone else’s ear than when you’re snug and cuddling under fluffy blankets in the dark. It’s like they can barely see you. And then, who knows, you might just get what you ask for.
It’s still under the covers… but you’re outside. Under the covers and outside! The covers here might be a sleeping bag, but it still counts! And really, aren’t you under the ultimate cover, the stars and the night sky? There’s something that comforts you deeply about the crisp outdoor air catching on the spit leftover from kissing someone, while your body is toasty and wrapped in your bag. Out here, your roommates aren’t going to hear you moaning. Plus, your hair probably smells like campfire and so does your partner’s. Inhale deeply and appreciate the fact that you’re alive. This activity can be done solo, with a partner, even with one or more friends! And while outdoor sex scratches one itch, the fact that you got away for a little while before winter sets in is sure to do it for your get-up-and-get-out tendencies.
You’re a deep one, Capricorn, but you’re also a horny goat who wants to bury yourself deep inside a partner (or experience same). This fall, you’re pitching a tent under the covers as you wear your favorite strap-on harness — or test out a new one — and generate so much friction and heat that you’ll be able to delay turning your thermostat on for yet another night. A lot of people love to rag on the “work hard” aspect of your zodiac sign, but they really should give the “play hard” side you keep wrapped up a chance. Why? Because you’re hot.
When it comes to the zodiac signs, dear Aquarius, your thriftiness is oft-overlooked. This fall season, in pursuit of making under-the-covers sex more weird than cozy, your zodiac sign is hitting up the clearance section of your local Spirit and other Halloween stores. What for? You’re on the hunt for creepy contacts, realistic vampire fangs, wigs and body paint and long, sensually scratchy claws. You’re in the mood to invite the monster that lives under your bed up to join you under the covers, to be the monster, to let something nefarious and queer take over your soul and turn you into a cannibalistic succubus or a vampire priest or whatever your heart desires. Your heart does desire some pretty out-there things, though.
Sex Inspired By Your Latest Erotic Reading Material
Hey there, friend. I know summer was hard, maybe a little busy, and that you needed some time to escape into some erotica or fanfiction or sensual audio stories. You might even be feeling like that time was lost. Not so. I think you learned a lot about yourself and your desires during. Now, comes the dare. Either share a sensual scenario with a partner or revisit one by yourself — and bring it to life. You wanted to be seduced by a sword-fighting lesbian? Did you know you can roleplay that? Did you listen to a story where someone used a certain technique or toy and found yourself absolutely pulsating thinking about the possibility? It might be time to make it a reality. You’re a dreamer, but under those soft covers, it’s a safe space to weave words from a page into out-loud moans and slippery fluids that feel like the exact opposite of paper when they’re sliding between your fingers.
Sex With Rope
Babe, I don’t even know if this is special for fall, but you are all about it. You’re spending a little more time indoors, now, maybe practicing your knots. If you’re currently sexing it up solo, self-bondage can be a soothing avenue to explore. And if you’re tying up a partner, it can’t hurt to revisit some classic ties. Plus, all of the tension between the rope and the fabric of the blankets, the comfort and the restraint, will make for some delicious play!
A Threesome! (Or Fantasy Thereof.)
That’s right, Taurus, your zodiac sign has the potential to have a threesome if you can actually get everyone else involved on the same page. It’s no time to feel like someone else, even a Virgo or a Capricorn, is going to take the organizational load. They’re off in their own world, dealing with their own stuff. If you want people to step up to the plate and step into your bed, trust that the other adults who are into you might be willing, but you might have to do some admin work to bring the plan home.
Morning Sex After Hot Coffee in Bed
It’s a little past your season, you sweet spring babe, and you might be tempted to sleep in. But, hear me out. What if you (maybe with a partner or two) poured yourselves some hot coffee (or tea or beverage of your choosing) and crawled back into bed to flirt while you woke up just enough to manage some sleepy kisses, and then some sleepy hands slipping under the sheets. Bonus: when your friends and coworkers ask about your healthy glow, you get to be a little coy.
Sensual Sex While Wearing Robes Fit for Divorcées
It’s getting cold but, Cancer, your zodiac sign is having hot sex any time of the year. People think of you as a crybaby sometimes, and a nurturing figure other times, but they don’t think enough about the fact that when you’re between the sheets, you’re practically a boudoir model. You’re in search of soft or silky or lacy fabrics that make you feel like a deity. Whether you’re topping or pillow royalty, I recommend that you turn your attention to primping your appearance just before sex, so that you can really lean into the fact that it’s fall and your face no longer feels like it’s melting off. You’re trading feeling sweaty and hot for hotness, lighting scented candles, breaking out the massage oils and taking things at a measured steady pace. Maybe take a few photos to save for the winter, for when even poking your head above the covers will feel like a trial. You often worry about the future, but my recommendation is to take that energy, and use it to make memories now that you can hang onto in the long run.
Leo, you’ve been running around all summer, feeling the spotlight shining on you. But now, the spotlight has turned to your butt, or your partner’s butt, or all of the above. New to butt stuff? My dear, brave, Leo. Look no further than this butt toy guide. Anal play need not be about railing or finger-banging or moving quickly. It can also be sensual and spicy — like a Pumpkin Spice Latte! If you’re finding that your under-the-cover sex could be bolder, then it might be a good time to try some impact play. You can always soothe your partner’s peach (or have your partner sooth yours) with soft touches and warm kisses under your quilts and weighted blankets when you’re done. Feeling the distance with your long-term relationship? Start your morning by using the golden hour to take a butt selfie to send them to admire over their morning coffee.
So, what kind of under-the-covers sex are you hoping to have this fall?