The Winter of Our Lesbian Content: This is a Glee, Skins & Pretty Little Liars Megapost


Skins US (MTV)

[all our posts on skins]


Tea – lesbian (confirmed, then semi-unconfirmed, and then confirmed again)
Betty – lesbian (confirmed)

Some Notes:

This television season of our eventual content began with an apparently catastrophic disappointment named Tea on a show blasphemously named Skins as it vaguely resembled, insofar as a Beatles Tribute Band resembles The Beatles, the British original.

Tea, hyped as a fantastic raygun of Lesbian Character, was indeed a cool character with cute outfits. But then she had sex with a boy, thus igniting the kindling of lesbo-vadge-angry-rage boiling in the vagina of every lesbian who reads queer pop culture website as well as probably a lot of lesbians who don’t even go on the internet.

I stopped recapping MTV’s Skins (Episode 103) a week before I stopped watching MTV’s Skins (Episode 104) because I don’t have time to but also because it was just really terrible.  I felt more sorry for those actors than I do for the actors employed as servers at The Bubba Gump Shrimp Company in Times Square where they’re made to present Forrest Gump trivia every hour. I mean those kids are never making it to Broadway.

It’s surprising, then, that Tea was the only character in any of these shows to end up with anything semi-resembling a “girlfriend” at season’s end. (Or, at least, the promise of a maybe-girlfriend for the future.)

Dude I Hate Who Coincidentally Ruins Everything:

Nicholas Hoult played Tony as a crafty prick with a semi-sociopathic disregard for the concerns of others and, often, the demeanor of a snarky friendly serial killer. Underneath it all, UK Tony had an Omar Littleish affection for those truly close to his heart.

But this Tony — no thanks!

You know how if you go to a super tiny rural high school, the same guy will get cast in the lead of the school musical every year because he’s literally the only boy in school who can kinda sing, wants to be in plays, and knows how to memorize lines? US’s Tony is like that guy, only stupider.

If Tony was in Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum, his wax figure would look more like Tony than Tony does. Tony just came back from the dentist, every single day.

Furthermore, doggedly pursuing another woman — a lesbian, at that! (oh, the nerve! oh the ego! of course you can convert her, she just hasn’t met the right man yet!) — who is involved with someone else and YOU YOURSELF have a girlfriend who’s madly in love with you — is just shitty. His chlamydia is truly the antibiotic whipped cream on the ice cream sundae of his insufferable personality.

In the End:

So, it’d seem that Tea, inspired by the terrible sex she had with Tony the first time, proceeded to have terrible sex with Tony yet another time, and then tells Abbud (who I believe is speaking here on behalf of all lesbians everywhere):

Tea: “I think I did it to feel bad or something. To stop something else from happening. I’m scared of all of it. having a girl I could love, so I make it impossible.”
Abbud: “What don’t you get about being a lesbian? Lemme clue you in — a key component is not hooking up with guys, especially a guy like Tony. How could you do that to me?”
Tea: “I don’t know. We have some weird connection, aren’t I allowed to not know what I’m doing.”
Abbud: “You’re a fake.”

Tony, who is both crazy and (as aforementioned) a waste of the air he breathes, just can’t let go, so he becomes a sort of monotone stalker.

I’m not, really, fundamentally opposed to this plot — Tea explains why she’s drawn to Tony, she never renounces her sexuality, and she says the sex is terrible both times. Because the thing is — a good story’s gotta have conflict.

Unfortunately, the lesbian-gets-bicurious plotline has basically been used as a Lesbian Weapon of Mass Destruction for so long that we presently approach this plot with the same attitude with which I approach airplanes, which is to say I just take the Amtrak now. You follow? Tea could’ve betrayed Betty with other girls, but that would’ve been a less dramatic conflict and an entirely different story altogether. So it’s not the plot itself that irks the Lezbos so much as it is the suspicion that Eisley pulled this to pander to a straight audience rather than because it was the most dramatic conflict he could summon to tell this story.

However, I might feel differently if I’d sat down to watch this teevee program for real every week in anticipation of something real/good instead of what I did do, which is half-watch episodes 104-110 today, fast-forwarding through every scene Tea wasn’t in. Again, much like air travel — might seem like a good idea in theory, but feels much different in hour 5 of snackless torture.

Anyhow! Michelle finds out about Tony and Tea, Tony gives everyone an STD, and in the finale Tea apologizes to Tony for making him like her and tries to get Betty back. High on pain meds, Betty invites Tea into her hospital bed (she’s got some ankle thing) and later on Tea returns to sleep together, almost leaves, then doubles back and slides in underneath the cast.


I was excited about Skins US, legitimately. I went into it assuming I’d love it. Unfortunately, it sucked a lot. Also upset the Lezzers. So.



[all our posts on glee]


Santana – lesbian (confirmed by the show’s writers — on the show itself, it’s unclear if Santana is lez, bisexual, or something else, as she ascribes to no label)
Brittany – bisexual (confirmed)
Kurt & Blaine – gay (confirmed)

Dude I Hate Who Coincidentally Ruins Everything:

Artie was mean to Tina and says misogynistic things a lot of the time and he’s a bad rapper and I don’t like his face. THERE I SAID IT.

In the End:

Luckily that is already described for you here in this recap of the most recent episode of Glee. Furthermore, all of my important thoughts regarding Brittany and Santana can be found in this recap of the Homosexy Episode of Glee.

The writers of Glee say when the show returns in April, Santana will be grappling with her lesbian identity. Which is a thing to look forward to!


This season featured some of Glee’s stupidest episodes of all time, but the last three or four were arguably quite excellent.

What are your hopes & dreams for these shows when they pick back up?

+ Pretty Little Liars returns to ABC Family in June 2011

+ Glee returns to Fox on April 19th

+ Skins US has not been picked up for a second season yet, but we feel like it probably will be.

+ Skins UK will likely return next year.

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Riese is the 39-year-old Co-Founder and CEO of as well as an award-winning writer, blogger, fictionist, copywriter, video-maker and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and then headed West. Her work has appeared in nine books including "The Bigger the Better The Tighter The Sweater: 21 Funny Women on Beauty, Body Image & Other Hazards Of Being Female," magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 2851 articles for us.


  1. Gah! Artie. I freakin’ hate that character. I really hope they actually address that he’s a misogynistic, manipulative prick – but then it’s Glee, and inconsistent at best, so I’m not holding my breath.

    I just…I mean it’s hard not to hate him because LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE! Seriously. I feel about that character like I felt about Willow, in that the actress made it impossible not to give a shit.

  2. Pretty Little Liars recaps continue to be awesome/hilarious, the show continues to generate fantastic fic, and I continue to not watch it because I can’t take even ridiculous.

    Glee hooks up Santana and Brittany and plays up the Faberry too and calls Artie on his misogyny and writes out Will Schuester and increases the ratio of episodes worth watching.

    Skins US is renewed, has no Tony or Abbud or Tea, centers on Michelle and Cadie with occasional Daisy and glimpses of Chris partying in the background and Stan being pathetic. And the writers decide that Cadie needs a worthy love interest and explore my crack-ship of Cadie/Eura. That storyline contains joint sessions with their therapist that are COMIC GOLD. The show has better music choices and inspires people to check out the REAL version.

    Skins UK manages to not fuck up a gen’s second season, not kill anyone, and not feature mental health professionals. Instead it focuses primarily on friendships, features Mini self-actualizing and pining over Franky (and wearing more suspenders!), and in the second half of the season has them get together in an enormously cute way that leads to a healthy and lasting relationship. Matty’s arc is focused on his brotherliness with Nick and he has no sex ever again. Rich and Grace continue to be happy. Nick gets together with Alo and/or Liv and/or both. The movie is made.

  3. I watched the Pretty Little Liars marathon up until the finale because I actually hadn’t even heard of it before stumbling upon AS – but seriously – WHO IS A??? This bugs me so much. You know when Hanna’s mom lets Caleb stay with them and she’s like, “You can call me *Ashley*.” I just thought she said that in a strange tone. I haven’t read all of the PLL recaps, so that may have already been addressed. Or maybe not…because it’s probably not a clue or anything.

    PS. totes love the rating scale system.

  4. “mostly because she does that thing that you did to your best friend in high school where you pretend to be Dr. Phil (“you deserve better, don’t go be with that boy”) / Oprah (“You’re my best friend! I protect you from the world!”) to cover up that you’re actually Ellen (“I like girls! Be with me! SURPRISE!”) . ”

    A million times, THIS.

  5. the main reason i began watching Glee was because i first saw the episode with this little nugget of gold “having sex isn’t dating. if having sex was dating, santana and i would be dating”. ever since then i’ve been waiting and hoping and now i am PISSED at brittany, if she loved satanas sweet lady kisses so much why the hell does artie matter? we all know he’d rather be with tina anyway

    • I dunno, but I just wanted to post so I could see the cute cat icon next to my tag.

      Cat people can do crazy things, so yeah, probably. But neither of the cats I live with would ever consent to wearing something like that. They’d claw your arm off first.

      • I will admit that I have put my cat in a hoodie (there are even pictures on fb), but it only lasted five minutes cause she hated it so much and acted like it was a form of torture and I felt guilty for wrestling her into it.

        I love new icon picture so much, it tempts me to get rid of my gravatar so I could have it by my name too

  6. “You know how if you go to a super tiny rural high school, the same guy will get cast in the lead of the school musical every year because he’s literally the only boy in school who can kinda sing, wants to be in plays, and knows how to memorize lines? US’s Tony is like that guy, only stupider.”

    Oh my god, now I totally realize who US!Tony always reminded me of! And this isn’t just restricted to small rural high schools – mid-sized suburban middle schools as well.

  7. These reviews Rock!! Really outstanding!! Does make me a feel a little out of it though, loved Glee from the beginning, but only recently just started watching Pretty Little Liars and never seen Skins…..SWEET….just checked and Skins is available for instant viewing on Netflix! – Season 1 in my que.

  8. I sort of kinda want to ignore him in the hopes that he just goes away, but I feel like Karovsky still deserves to be on the Glee queers list. Just under the “practically in Narnia” section.

    • The “practically in Narnia” part killed me. I am currently laughing on the floor while I try to climb on the chair to type.

      I loved the part of “Never Been Kissed” when Kurt asks Blaine to come to his school to talk to Karovsky but the guy completely freaks out and Blaine, after having been pushed against the railings, says: “Well, HE’s not coming out anytime soon”. I always thought it was ridiculous. What good did Kurt think that being approached by another previously unknown gay boy would do to Karovsky? Did he really think it would be that wasy to make him come out?

  9. Riese, I have a feeling your rating would have been lower for Skins US if you had watched all the episodes. This was the worst image of lesbianism since the Symbionese Liberation Army. You nailed that it Skins US was all about pandering to straight audiences.

    For those who did not see Skins US. Tea likes sleeping with women for about 5 minutes of her episode. Then she falls for Tony, who has slightly more charisma than Andrew Shirvell. She spends the rest of that episode and the next 7 3/4 episodes mooning over how her and Tony have a special something. Then she crawls into bed with an unconscious Betty in a comically grand gesture.

    However with Glee, Pretty Little Liars, Skins UK and the unmentioned but enjoyable Coronation Street, there has to be a loser. Just surprised it turned out to be Skins US which going in would have been my prediction for the one to get it right.

    • OK, but during those 5 minutes of lesbianism, I loved Tea’s episode! I’ve enjoyed ALL of these awesome (unprecedentedly numerous) storylines, but not particularly identified with them (beyond “I like girls, too!”) EXCEPT FOR THOSE 5 MINUTES.

      It makes me smile so much to read the many comments from fans who saw themselves in Paige/Santana, that their scenes struck an emotional resonance powerful enough to change lives. My own internal acceptance process just was NOT a factor in my teenaged lesbian adventures. As I understand it, this is both fortuitous and really freaking uncommon, so I’d kinda just accepted I’d never see myself resembled in a TV depiction of highschool.

      Tea, the “hot lesbian friend” to keep around, being in-your-face OUT and sneaking into gay clubs with dubious fake ID to mack on girls she’d just met… is my kindred spirit. Watching those 5 minutes was OMG! AMAZING for me, but WTF? AWFUL after that! It was like seeing some weird dark alternate universe where I made (even more) terrible life choices and had (bigger) jerks for friends. (Actually, all of Skins US felt like some terrible alternate Skins UK universe.)

      On the up side, I felt like a mature and responsible well-rounded teen by comparison. I feel like Skins exists to make EVERY person’s crazy fucked-up teenaged self seem tame and rational.

  10. I want Brittany and Santana to get together like YESTERDAY!

    But since that won’t be happening/didn’t happen, Santana needs to accept her fine lezbo self, Brittany needs to comfort that fine lezbo self, Brittany needs to dump Stubbles McCripplepants, and then Brittany needs to run (dance) to her woman and lay the most mind-blowing, earth-shattering, heart-pounding kiss one human has ever laid on another human on those gorgeous trouty lips of Santana Motherfucking Lopez.

  11. How come you left out Coronation street, Riese?

    They’ve handled the lesbian storyline for more than a year. It’s unprecedented on soaps (or even tv in general)

    Corrie is the hero of the lesbian set :(

  12. “This must be how gay men felt for the 356 years Will & Grace was on the air, along with Queer as Folk, Sex and the City, Dawson’s Creek, The Office, Entourage, Noah’s Arc, Degrassi, The Sopranos and Six Feet Under OR MAYBE even how they feel right now with Modern Family, Glee, Nurse Jackie, Shameless, Gossip Girl, 90210, Lost, Weeds, Big Love, Ugly Betty, Brothers & Sisters, Greek, Mad Men, True Blood, The United States of Tara and basically every single show on Logo.”

    Yes there are twice as many gay men as there are lesbians on TV, but cisgendered queer women see 500 times as much representation as trans people (who are usually villains or objectified anyway). And to be fair there have also been queer women on Degrassi, Nurse Jackie, Six Feet Under, Shameless, Weeds, True Blood and Queer as Folk.
    Representation of gay men on Lost and The Sopranos was scant at best, while Sex and the City was downright awful and objectifying.
    Have we forgotten Roseanne, Hollyoaks, Ellen, Buffy, ER, The L Word, Grey’s Anatomy, Bad Girls, South of Nowhere, Fingersmith, Tipping the Velvet, Rosie O’Donnell, Oranges are not the only fruit, Sugar Rush, Naomily, The Wire, Lip Service, Rachel Maddow or the Wanda Sykes Show? It’s not like this was the first lesbian representation on TV. And Glee isn’t exactly the show that has finally brought us queer characters. Sometimes it’s fun, most of the time it is mediocre and problematic.

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