You want to know what I learned from seven seasons of watching Pretty Little Liars? The best you can hope for as a woman in this world is to make yourself boring and docile and helpless enough that a man will ultimately intervene and save you from interesting women, and also from yourself.
Everyone deals with their impending prosecution for murder by having sex with their high school sweethearts.
None of us have ever deserved Mona Vanderwaal.
Emison I guess?
Paige and Emily say goodbye for the last time.
Paige and Emily kiss and twirl and Ali finally realizes she’s pregnant with Emily’s child.
Emily and Aria strongarm Sydney Driscoll while Hanna operates on a life-size doll wearing her face.
Alison and Emily and Paige still have no idea how to close a door or whisper.
Paige and Ali and Emily are caught in a decade-old love triangle that’s still got teeth.
Holy cats, the show I fell in love with is back (at least for an episode).
Emily wore suspenders and finally asked a girl out on a date.
It’s been way too long since a building came to life to murder the Liars.
The Liars all have grand epiphanies about love, except for Emily who runs around in the woods for an hour trying not to get run under (again).
Professor Plum in the courtyard with a hollow piece of metal with a rectangle piece at the end.
An emoji steals Emily’s ovaries.
Emily almost gets some action but then discovers the girl she’s wooing doesn’t have a TV and calls the whole thing off.
Emily’s not dying after all. Sadly, neither is Ezra.
Ali hosts a dinner party with the hope of rooting out Charlotte’s killer. Meanwhile, Emily is dying.
Five years later, things are still exactly the same in Rosewood, PA.