The Comment Awards Are Sliding Into Your DMs (Dog Messages)

Milo peeking over the laptop!

Hi! It’s me, Milo! I’ve taken the Comment Awards over for Queer Girl this week so that she can go buy me the best salmon cookies and then arrange a playdate for me and my FRIENDS. I am ready to do my duty and I will not even take time off to bark at the delivery person, for today I am Milo, King of the Comments!

What do you think comments taste like? Do you think they taste like salmon cookies or like chicken cookies? I HOPE IT’S SALMON.

This week, Dani Janae and Shelli Nicole talked about Lizzo’s Watch Out for the Big Grrls. I’ve seen one episode with Queer Girl and we are rooting for Charity!

Every one of Kayla’s quizzes is like a Choose Your Own Adventure story, which is perfect, because I LOVE adventure. This week, she asked: Which Villanelle/Eve Moment Are You?

I hear that not much happened at the Oscars this year, besides this! Historic! Ariana! DeBose! Win!

Listen: breaking up is hard to do. I should know — Queer Girl TERRIBLE at breaking up with people. But, as Dani Janae points out in this week’s You Need Help, it is not actually impossible… and sometimes it’s for the best!

20 Foods I Ate Because of Fictional Characters, Ranked. This is the best post in the world and I will eat all of these! Please send them to me right away. DM (dog message) me for my address.

This is a must-read essay about Killing Eve and also IT HAS CATS IN IT. Like the ones who tightrope walk across my back fence and stare at me from the front hedge. Cats!!!!

And finally, there were so many fantastic essays this week, the week of Trans Day of Visibility: Jenna wrote about the Catch-22 of playing sports while existing as a trans person, Alex spoke of the depression that can come after gender-affirming surgery, and Fisher wrote about walking out of the closet for the last time as a transgender medic. I would like to make salmon cookies for all of you.

Then there were your comments! (P.S: HI SOCKS!)


On 20 Foods I Ate Because of Fictional Characters, Ranked:

The Can Dogs Eat Turkish Delight? I Bet They Can Award to EAHP:

So I was also a person who tried Turkish delight and thought Edmund was insane, it was the worst candy! But then I went to Istanbul and tried fresh Turkish delight, and it was a completely different food. Absolutely delicious. I’m not defending Edmund but if you ever get the chance to try some that haven’t been sitting in a box for three months, I recommend it!

And the Dogs Can’t See Red Or Green But I’ll Try These Anyway Award to iamamisfit1:

Girl! When I saw “Fried Green Tomatoes” I was hoping you weren’t about to trash one of God’s gifts on Beyonce’s internet! Thank you from my Louisiana (by way of Detroit) heart!

On No Filter: These Post-Oscars Parties Were Actually Where All the Best Looks Were Served:

The Zendaya as Link (and Milo as Sidekick) Award to Kristana and Stacie:

I saw someone nominate Hunter Schafer for Princess Zelda, and now I can’t unsee it.

On FYP: Tell Me—What Really Went On In Your Sorority?

The What’s A Kink? Is it Like Fetch? Award to Maria:

The combination of that beautiful person and that beautiful housework JESUS CHRIST I’ve found my kink

On Pop Culture Fix: Get Ready for “Crush,” Hulu’s New “Very Gay” Rom-Com:

The Screen Time (HI SHARKY) Award to Caitlin:

i love the socks updates!! sharky recently discovered how to get from the floor to the tv stand by the most circuitous route (dining chair to short shelf to tall shelf to stand) and i think she’s ready for bird tv

And on Killing Eve’s Final Season Proves The Only Person Eve Was Ever Fooling Was Herself:

The Let’s Bark Together Award to kaelen:

i just want to stand in the street after reading this and scream: absolutely! !!!!! thanks for writing and sharing this, heather.

And the In Season Five, They Adopt A Dog Award to Arvan and Bee:

Just binged the fourth season today, and my God even if Eve and Villanelle don’t end up riding off into the sunset together as a queer Bonnie and Clyde, this show is still so fucking queer. But also there are only two episodes left and I’ll be really disappointed if after ALL THIS they don’t ride off into the sunset together like a queer Bonnie and Clyde. If you have any fanfics where they ride off into the sunset together like a queer Bonnie and Clyde, please link me.


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Milo

Milo is a ten month-old aspiring Olympian hurdler whose shelter name was Superman, probably because he can leap tall buildings and short dachshunds in a single bound. He has the heart of a lion and the hair of Finley from Gen Q, and he once caught a butterfly and ate it (whoops!). His best friends include Ollie and Cassie and Beans and Ruby, and if you see that one person with the salmon treats from Trader Joe's, let him KNOW, because he would very much like some more of those. You can follow him on Instagram and also throw the ball! Please? Throw it! It's fun!

Milo has written 1 article for us.

23 Comments

  1. Hi Milo! What a good pup you are! (although you should probably give those butterflies a little more space when you play together).

    Please tell QG to tell her other human friends at Animalstraddle that this is a delight today — I love the “Carolstraddle Redux” mouse pointer, too!

    I hope you get some extra salmon cookies for your great job writing today 😄

  2. Hi, Milo this is Bocce, I too am taking over my pets computer today…Don’t tell Christina, she’s still sleeping so won’t be any the wiser.

    Also fooled around a bit with her profile…haha…gave it some class and removed that lame Princess Amidala picture…that girl has got to grow up!!

    Anyway, I rescued Christina, so she is grateful to me everyday. She probably would have been put down since no one but me wanted to rescue her….She is ok but could improve on her grooming and nail clipping….which reminds me, I need to schedule her an appointment at the salon!!

    THESE HUMANS ARE SO HIGH MAINTENANCE!!

    Anyway, what I really came here for is to suggest more Dog Content all year around. I sneak onto Christina’s computer daily when she is asleep and am bored most of the time…human this-human that…BORING!!….more dog content would be very welcome by all us owners out there!!

    Also, just a suggestion, all A+ members should get a big box of dog treats (minimum 10 lbs) sent to their house every week. I think the humans would enjoy them and their owners too!!

    Got to wake up Christina, she hates it when I sit on her face to wake her up..haha

    Note: I also changed some things in my pet’s profile to give it some class finally!! She can be an embarrasment sometime…..Don’t tell her I said that…OR…..tell her and maybe she will clean up her act!!

  3. Hi Milo!
    This is Sweetums using Jay’s account, I just want to say you’re doing a really great job. Although I have not met any dogs in person and I would likely hide from you under the blankets in bed if I were to meet you, you seem pretty great! I love your enthusiasm for playing! I also destroy toys and love to play in the middle of the night, that’s my specialty. So from afar great job, so glad you are there to keep queer girl company and loved. <3

      • I love you! It’s really the best time to play I recommend it! See I soothe Jay into a nice sleep by cuddling next to their face and then deep in the middle of the night, I get up and play with either my jingly ball or attack the blinds or just run around and scream a while. Or my favorite scratching in the litter box for excessively long time! Then I go back to bed and snuggle them more before they wake up and they totally forget about everything I did in the night. It’s perfect. I’m just an innocent baby!

  4. hello milo this is sharktopus! my friends call me sharky but unfortunately dogs are high on the list of Existential Threats so you can call me sharktopus. thanks for recognizing my brilliance though! i love the birds sooooo much and now when Möther is watching other things i stand in front of the screen and Yell! it’s almost as much fun as birds

    (ps i am trying very hard to become a cat influencer my instagram is @sharky_stories )

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