The words "You are going to be fine" written on a garage style door that is painted a soft pink.

First Person

I Used Instagram Mantras As Therapy — And It Worked

They served as daily messages your best friend should tell you when you’re hurting — and in desperate need of a silver lining.

A person with brown skin types on a typewriter.

First Person

As a Black, Fat, Disabled Person in Love, My Monogamy Feels Radical

For me, navigating polyamorous dynamics with white people is inherently taxing and painful as a Black person.

A collage of the cover for Casey Plett's A Dream Of A Woman

First Person LGBT Book Reviews

Slow Takes: Casey Plett’s “A Dream of a Woman” and Forgiveness as a Love Story

Often I find myself pushing so hard against the image of trans loneliness that I don’t allow myself to acknowledge the truths that lie within. This book acknowledged them for me. It hurt. I’m grateful.

First Person Holigays

Seeing the First Sunrise Makes Each Year Feel Special

Waking up early and standing out in the cold may not seem like self-care, but to me, it is.

three images of nicole drinking various beverages. nicole is a white human who has their natural dark brown hair in one photo and their bleach blond hair in the other two. they always wear glasses. the photos show them drinking tea from a cauldron mug, drinking coffee from a small mug, and drinking a can of diet dr. pepper. the photos shift from winter to summer to spring from left to right

First Person

15 Things I Drank in My Year of Not Drinking

Tasting notes: This one is real, like a hallucination. You can feel it, see it, and it leaves very little evidence of its passing through your body. Lingers barely on the tip of the tongue, with high notes of bright genders named like quarks.

a robust altar with candles, crystals, and intentions for the new year

First Person Holigays

Forgiving Myself as the One and Only New Year’s Resolution

I’m letting the dust of others’ expectations begin to settle, leaving room to see that I am not to blame for the hurt and harm I’ve dealt with. This year, I’m not making a list. Instead, I’m focusing on forgiving myself for ever thinking anything different.

An illustration of a fish-shaped platter holding fish salad

First Person Holigays

Fishy Christmas Eve Traditions

I put a lot of pressure on myself to learn and revel in the customs of “our people,” which meant that I always included a small scoop of the fish salad on mine and then tried to avoid it the rest of the night.

Black woman with large gold hoop earrings and natural hair closes her eyes as though she is making a wish on the christmas lights she is holding in her hand,

Christmas First Person

In Remembrance of My Queer Nigerian Christmas

That Christmas with queer family reminded me that multiple possibilities exist even in the darkest of places.

three hand drawn matches stand side by side, slowly burning out

First Person

Love Letter to a Terrible Year

I mourn the losses. I celebrate the wins. I offer the future a chance, even if I don’t entirely believe in it.

Side by side identical images of string lights hanging from a tree in New York City

First Person Holigays

The Stories We Tell

One of my earliest memories, perhaps my earliest one, is watching the snow fall from the sliding glass doors to the balcony of the small apartment my family rented in a Boston suburb.

original art, line drawings with paint, depicting two women, one with a short yellow blonde bob and one with short dark hair, each surrounded by images of things that represent their personality. the border is pink and green, same as the other holiday content.

First Person Holigays

Finding Love in the Year of the Ox

On New Year’s Eve when the clock strikes midnight, the glimmering thoughts that slip across my mind are usually all variations on the same question: who have you been loved by this year?

person stands at the end of a dock, looking out into the foggy nothingness of a lake

First Person Holigays

Grief Is a Promise

The unthinkable can and will happen, but sorrow and loss are only splinters of what we can handle. The ritual is in the remembering.

birds eye view of a plate of home cooked food contributed by the author

First Person Holigays

On Reconciliation, Reconnection, and Acceptance

Spending time in the kitchen and learning how to cook the comfort food of my childhood has helped me connect to my mother in ways I never expected.

A black and white photo of Stephen Sondheim sitting in a chair smirking

First Person Music

Sondheim and the Ambivalence of Wanting

Yearning is the thread that runs through everything Stephen Sondheim wrote: for love, for happiness, for recognition, for meaning. The fear of naming that desire. The fear of admitting it yourself, of letting yourself hope, of letting yourself want.

First Person Holigays

Say Hello to RITUALS, an Autostraddle End of Year Miniseries

The eight writers who contributed to this miniseries will share all sorts of rituals: rituals for love, rituals for grief, rituals for forgiveness, rituals for inner peace. My wish is that it will help us all feel somewhat less alone this December, more connected to our community, and more ready for whatever January 2022 delivers.