Working Out at a Strength Gym Has Been Great, but These Exercises Make Me Want To Scream
Even though I believe in complete body liberation and fat freedom, I don’t like to talk about my “I’ve been fat my whole life” baggage.
My Anxiety Turns Life Into a Horror Movie
Most of my fears are around dying, maybe because I don’t understand it.
Slow Takes: “Pen15” and Embracing Alternate Girlhoods
Watching the first season during what I considered my second puberty was miserable. I could acknowledge its effectiveness, but I felt alienated.
How it Ends
I begin to realize my relationship is over when my boyfriend starts cleaning his gun in our apartment.
Alone but Not Lonely at the Precipice of 30
Being 30 meant I was free. In my child mind, it was the ultimate age of adulthood. It meant that no one could hurt me anymore.
Black Girls Are Always at the Center of Horror
There is a haunting that black girls know.
The Seduction of Aliens
When I saw a UFO, I was 18 and it was the night before prom.
Here’s Why You Should Get a Nude Portrait of Yourself Done
We deserve to feel like art, to feel wonderfully made.
Empty Magic: Dessert
When I set out to write this series, I was expecting to come to some shining resolution documenting my now improved relationship with food. My relationship with food has improved, but it is not perfect.
Confessions of a Ghost
Instead of disappearing from my emotional responsibility, I’ve decided to embrace the full transparency of a ghost.
Elm Street Was a Nightmare Before Freddy Made It One
Elm Street was just another part of a society — our society, where people are taught to care very little for each other.
Empty Magic: Dinner
When you’ve reached the bottom of anything, you create a hollow.
Revisiting the Scary Movie Sleepover
Horror movies are for the depressed and anxious gays.
How Bottoming Helped Me Heal From Sexual Trauma
I had to learn how to feel safe in the world in order to bottom. For me, surrender is healing.
To All the Hot People I Met on My Cross-Country Drive
Forty hours of podcasts, musical numbers, and ice coffee stops later, and I’ve successfully made the painstaking move from Los Angeles to Orlando, Florida.
In Queer Horror Anthology “It Came From the Closet,” Carmen Maria Machado Considers Jennifer’s Body
On queerbaiting, bisexuality, and Jennifer’s Body. This essay is an exclusive excerpt from the queer horror anthology It Came From the Closet, on sale next week.
7 Pressing Questions I Have for Myself After Moving
In the week following my move from Miami to Orlando, I’d like to ask myself some urgent questions, like for example: Why do I own this many pairs of opera gloves and where the hell am I going to put them?
Empty Magic: Lunch
In my quest to destroy the body I had known, this new body was not safe from me either.
I Met My Online Friends for the First Time and Remained Fully in My Head
34. Am I a granola bar lesbian?
35. *eats a candy bar* no
Empty Magic: Breakfast
I used to love breakfast. Toast with butter and strawberry jam. Cinnamon raisin bread with a smattering of cinnamon sugar. Scrambled eggs with cheese and sausage, pancakes with fresh fruit, and swirls of maple syrup.