No Filter: Samira Wiley Is Here to Service Your Engine

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to discuss the latest in queer celebrity Instagram. The internet is still in an uproar over the [very likely very manufactured] revelation that Melanie Brown and Geri Halliwell totally did it while the Spice Girls were at the peak of their popularity! Some say it was a year-long affair, some say Geri is upset, some say that this news has derailed ticket sales for the tour (as though news of girls kissing each other has ever ruined literally anything in pop music). Who are we? Why are we here? Is Ariana Grande bisexual and would it matter even a little bit if she admitted she was? Can we all agree Ariana Grande is probably not a very good kisser?

Carol (2015), Todd Haynes

Samira Wiley looks like a member of the pit crew getting ready to service your race car (that’s what she said?)

Cardi B’s “Money” blasts over the loudspeakers.

I fell for this joke earlier in my feed and I am now posting it here as an act of protest. The correct answer is dumb and bad and I refuse to participate henceforth. However, Teddy Geiger is cute and good.

I’ve never identified with Cameron Esposito more in my life.

Stephanie Beatriz emerged from the sea to attend the GLAAD Awards and I am here for it.

View this post on Instagram

Slow motion for me.

A post shared by Lena Waithe (@lenawaithe) on

We, as a society, do not deserve Lena Waithe.

Tessa Thompson is a glittering masterpiece of a human person.

I find it comforting what an absolute dweeb Hayley Kiyoko is.

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Stef Schwartz is a founding member and the self-appointed Vapid Fluff Editor at She currently resides in New York City, where she spends her days writing songs nobody will ever hear and her nights telling much more successful musicians what to do. Follow her on twitter and/or instagram.

Stef has written 464 articles for us.


  1. I have to say, I loved Gaby Dunn’s Instagram coverage of the GLAAD Awards for Autostraddle and her subsequent marriage to everyone on the red carpet. She’s gonna be a great spouse!

  2. Seeing that Hayley Kiyoko one just makes me think, “HAYLEY FOR THE FOURTEENTH DOCTOR!”

  3. Wait, which Disney Princess is Stephanie Beatriz? She looks like Jasmine not Ariel to me.

  4. Also my mom has a Chesterfield sofa with the same patter as Gaby Dunn’s suit

  5. Is the answer that you open the door first? Because if so…*gives serious side eye*

    • Personally I’d say your mouth, as in “Who the F*ck is ringing my doorbell at this hour ?!?”

    • My answer was that you open your eyes, because if you’re asleep that would be the first thing you open. But nooo, the correct answer is that you open your DMs

      • Wow… I have seen other people on Instagram sharing it, like one of those terrible chain-mail things that people used to fall for. Except in this case instead of being “kissed at 5:34pm next Tuesday by my eternal crush or dying a horrible death” I get to be disappointed by my eternal singledom and continued existence on this mortal plane.

    • I’m guessing it’s “your eyes,” because the riddle says you’re asleep.

  6. rofl i love that everyone is doing that chain mail riddle thing. when i saw rhea butcher post it i honestly thought rhea had been hacked :-D

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