New Year’s OPEN THREAD: What We’ll Leave in 2011

I hope you’re ready to say farewell to 2011 because we sure as hell are! Also it’s gonna happen whether you like it or not, so really that opening sentence only served to illustrate just how inordinately excited we are about 2012.


Are you all dressed up in ribbons and bow ties? Are your shoes fancy? I bet your shoes are fucking fancy. Even if they aren’t, NICE WORK. I’ve never loved you more. Hey, how do you feel about New Year’s resolutions? We made some last year, but I really don’t know who stuck to what. This year we don’t wanna make a resolution — we wanna make a REVOLUTION — and we’re getting started by leaving a bunch of crap that we don’t need in 2011. It seemed like promising not to take something with us to 2012 would be a lot more concrete than promising to change something about ourselves once we got there, you know?

So here’s our list of shit we’re not taking with us to 2012! What are you up to tonight, hm? What will you leave in 2011?


Contributing Editor Whitney:

+ Eating things that are not Thai food.
+ Desire to wear plaid everyday.
+ Negative / guilty feelings about being gay and that I somehow fucked up my family.
+ Feeling unloved and unsupported.
+ Doubts about applying to / attending graduate school.

Contributing Editor Carmen:

+ Teenage angst.
+ My inability to wear a suit.

Contributing Editor Laura:

+ Waking up after 9am.
+ Pants that sag halfway down my bum.
+ Being too scared or lazy to take risks.

Intern Bren:

+ Unemployment.
+ The feeling that I’m not good enough.
+ And also health insurance, unfortunately.

Music Editor Crystal:

+ My Darth Vader Adidas.
+ Text messaging.
+ Unnecessary trips to Costco.
+ Fear of letting people get to know me.
+ Emotional investment in the tv show ‘Castle’.

Actress/2012 Calendar Girl Brandy Howard:

+ Beer.
+ American Idol.
+ Debt.

Comedienne/2012 Calendar Girl Julie Goldman:

+ Her stomachs.

Contributing Editor Carolyn:

+ Unproductive procrastination.

Comedy Writer DeAnne Smith:

+ Perfectionism plus procrastination.
+ Indecision! …I think.
+ Some very cool handmade fingerless gloves. (Really, I lost these sometime in November, but I’m trying to reframe it more positively now.) Fuck those gloves!

CEO Riese:

+ Having 5+ tabs open in Chrome at the same time
+ Any thoughts about the size/shape/composition of my abdominals
+ Paranoia about people judging me for thinking I deserve to make a living doing this
+ 58 unpublished wordpress drafts
+ Feeling like a loser because instead of going out to interact with people during my “free time” (I left “not letting myself do anything other than autostraddle all the time” behind in 2010) that I’d rather just stay home with my girlfriend or stay home alone doing weird me things like arts & crafts, trivia games, and looking at photos on tumblr

Writer Gabrielle:

+ Dep hair gel.
+ Carrying someone else’s substance abuse.
+ Wearing period panties when I’m not on my period.
+ Not returning people’s phone calls or texts due to acute technological response anxiety (I made that term up and now it’s totally a thing).
+ Jay-Z.

Executive Editor Laneia:

+ Guilt.
+ Nostalgia.
+ Skinny jeans.
+ Aversion to cooking.

Contributing Editor Lizz:

+ Being messy.

Senior Editor Rachel:

+ Irrational dislike of driving other people’s cars.
+ WordPress crashes.
+ Apologizing for things I’m not sorry for.
+ Haters.
+ Uncomfortable shoes.

Contributor Rose

+ My OkCupid account (deactivated October 2011).
+ My addiction to pop (soda/soft drink for those of you not from the Upper Midwest) and canned ice tea.
+ Procrastinating on important things.
+ Worrying obsessively about stupid things.
+ Personal investments in Facebook political debates and Glee storylines.

Writer Katrina:

+ Jeans with holes in the crotch.
+ Apology with no follow-through.
+ Not getting this fucking toilet fixed.
+ Sleeping past noon on the regular.
+ Shower grime.
+ Taking the bus the wrong way seemingly every time.
+ Paranoia about taking the bus the wrong way every time.
+ Bras that don’t fit.
+ Cutting my hair when I’m drunk.
+ Hangovers (except my New Years Day hangover, obvs).
+ Falling asleep in my clothes.
+ Animals in the walls of my home.
+ No money all the time.
+ Losing my keys.

Contributing Editor Jamie:

+ That annoying habit of immediately beginning to stress about the next thing I “should” be doing instead of appreciating my accomplishments.

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  1. I’m in Russia, so I’m already in the future, but earlier tonight I think I left behind this ‘being social in the way that everybody else thinks I’m supposed to be social’ business.

  2. Whoa, they still make Dep hair gel? The last time I saw a tube of that, it came with my older sister’s Totally Hair Barbie.

    What I would like to accomplish in 2012:

    + overcome my binge eating disorder

    + get my full driver’s license

    + get a better job

    + apply to grad school

    + let go of the idea that everyone secretly hates me/is judging me (though this is something I already have let go of as of like a week ago…I’ll let go of it even more, I guess?)

    It’s a tall order, but hopefully I can do it all! Fuck that, I WILL do it all.

    Happy New Year, chickadees! I’m off to my best friend’s. We’re going to do a slightly obscure Disney movie marathon. Up for viewing are 101 Dalmatians (her voice), The Great Mouse Detective (my choice), The Rescuers Down Under (my choice), and The Sword in the Stone (her choice).

  3. Nice! I actually had a similar thought, so I wrote mine down on a piece of paper which I will symbolically burn at midnight.

    Things I’m leaving behind in 2011:
    -Internalised homophobia. It’s not that much and I don’t even know where it comes from, but it’s going!
    -This fear I have that people will think I’m annoying/disgusting/stupid for having certain interests and opinions.
    -Procrastinating on things I want to do (procrastination on things I don’t want to do is still okay. I’m being realistic here).

    I’m really looking forward to 2012!

  4. Oh, Autostraddle, how do you understand my emotional needs so well? Did you implant some kind of chip in my brain? Or are all us queermos mysteriously psychically aligned?

    My half-hearted plans fell through and I am alone, processing the craziness that was 2011, accepting it’s over, trying to convince myself to embrace (or at least not run away from) 2012…

    In 2012 I would like to leave behind self-hate and pessimism. 2011 was a fucking incredible year for me. The only thing as intense and varied as the lows were the highs… and they were glorious. It was probably the busiest and most amazing-est year of my life. Yet I still spent a lot of time feeling like a failure and like I wasn’t doing anything. Or like my life was going to be all downhill from where it is now. I would like to move past this somehow. I will be a better revolutionary if I can.

    I would also like to leave behind this thing I do where someone sends me a really nice AS message and I think about it for a few days and then I forget about it and then I feel like a dick. If this happened to you, I’m sorry!

    Riese while my life was topsy turvy this year Autostraddle was a rock for me. Somewhere I could check into wherever I was in the world and feel at home. AS means a lot to me and I know that many others here will feel the same. And it’s because of what you (and Laneia and everyone else) put in to make it awesome. You REALLY REALLY REALLY deserve to make a living from this. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

    I would like to wish everyone joy and gladness and adventure and everything good for 2012.

  5. I have 2 resolutions and when I made them a couple of weeks ago I decided to start 2012 early:
    – nothing is written
    – I WILL make an effort
    I might get a tattoo of them to remind myself.

    What I dearly hope to leave in 2011 is this crazy hormonal boom and bust roller coaster of hormone replacement therapy. It would be real nice for my peace of mind if my estrogen level stays high enough, depression therefore goes away indefinitely and physical changes stay on permanently rather than get up and then crash again. All just so I can get on with life rather than lie in bed being seriously depressed and out of energy.

    Anyway, wishing you all a happy, healthy and productive 2012!

  6. I will be going to the movies (and to a bar where a free concert is playing) with one of my friends from high school. We are seeing The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. This is the only new years eve tradition I have.

    I realized yesterday (or earlier today) that I make the same resolutions every year. Mostly because every year they keep not happening. But who knows, maybe this year they will happen. I’m hopeful.

    Good riddance, 2011.

  7. goodbye to:

    – unproductivity
    – the girl that i’ve only ever really liked since god knows how long, that rejected me this december (i don’t want to be friends with you like we used to be, because it will just be awkward)
    – procrastination
    – self-hate/feelings of inadequacy
    – depression! go away, you. do i have to see a therapist for this shit? i don’t want you here.

    i have to go to a funeral in the next day or so. i am spending new years driving to south california. please, everyone. please go have a nice new year and i will live vicariously through you. no apologies for this sad, pathethic feelings post, though. thank you, autostraddle.

  8. There’s only ONE thing I’m sure I’m leaving behind with 2011: I’m leaving “straightness” behind.

    As for everything else… we’ll see. I have a lot of things in mind that I want to accomplish. I just hope I have the courage to pursue them.

    Life has been awful to me so I don’t really care for the whole “new year’s” crap. I just hope it gets better.

  9. It’s 7:00 PM where I am and I’ve been drinking for several hours and I found an unclaimed soda on my coffee table so it’s mine now but don’t worry because I put enough alcohol in it to kill any potential germs and while I don’t know who it once belonged to the person can’t be a total stranger because it was on my coffee table.

  10. 2011 was actually a pretty good year for me. Definitely some lows and blunders, but forward progress dominated most of my year. So in hopes of another good year, I am saying goodbye to:

    – The student life and my unfinished thesis
    – The last 60 unhealthy pounds I have been carrying around
    – Allowing guilt or shame to cause me to keep unwelcome persons in my life
    – Having never run a half marathon
    – Being chronically single and without a lesbian posse

    So with that, Happy New Year to all my fellow AutoStraddlers and all the amazing people who keep this website up and running!

  11. Happy New Year from Merry Olde England! Stuff to leave in 2011:

    – Pining after people I can never have
    – Doing my essays at 4am the day they’re due
    – Getting stressed over silly things, like cheese sauce.
    – 20lbs off my stomach (assuming I actually stick to a diet/exercise regime this time)

    Woo! Bring on 2012!

  12. 2011 was such a horrible terrible no good year that I’m having problems feeling like 2012 is going to be better. So I guess I’m leaving behind my debilitating depression and feeling of hopelessness? Because 2012 has to be better right? I mean really, please?

  13. Leaving behind in 2011:
    -my irrational fear of all new things (Starting things off right with a month long trip alone to a place i’ve never been in january)
    -letting other people walk all over me
    -not having boundaries
    -cutting my own hair in the middle of the night when I am stressed out(it’s chronic — i may not recover.)

  14. 2011 was the year I figured out I was gay, came out, and got a girlfriend! Also, my home was foreclosed, and a friend of mine committed suicide. This year has had it’s ups and downs.

    I will leave behind:
    -My need to apologize in every situation
    -About 20 pounds
    -Being single
    -High school. Soon. Cause that shit SUCKS.

  15. I’m spending New Years Eve at home with my wife. Currently we are effing around on the Internet while we wait for the kid to fall asleep. Hurry up kid!

    As for what I’m leaving behind in 2011, I’m with Carolyn – unproductive procrastination. Especially at work. I could be so much better at my job if I actually, y’know, did it to my ability. Then maybe I could get a promotion or something.

  16. – depression/ apathy/ misanthropy

    (this is my pie-in-the-sky wish, I wouldn’t be surprised if they stuck around another year)

    – limerent crushes

    (hahaha… unlikely)

    – fear

    – not knowing what the fuck is going on in my finances

    Love these group therapy open threads.

  17. I am leaving behind:

    Food containing ingredients not immediately recognizable as food
    Graduate school (or at least my exams)
    Poor sleeping habits (will probably clear up with the exams)
    Taking on other people’s problems as if they were my own

    This year cannot end fast enough, as far as I am concerned.

      • The food one is great! I went vegetarian back in November and am trying to eat less dairy also. I don’t think I’ll ever get to completely vegan but would like to get as close as possible.

        Here’s to healthy eating in 2012.

        • I follow a farm rescue org. (Gentle Barn), and recently they rescued a cow, couldn’t figure out why she cried all the time, realized she had a lot of milk, called the place they rescued her from, found out she had a calf that they were selling for slaughter, bought the calf, went back to fetch it. When they got back to mama cow she came FLYING over to the corner of her enclosure (heard her baby bawling). Calf was so weak it collapsed twice, but they picked it up & carried it to mama, started nursing, both are now fine.
          This video convinced me I have 2 choices- give up dairy or buy a cow…they LOVE their babies! And dairies always take them away. Also, the dairy industry IS the veal industry.
          I know I know I love dairy too!

          I wish us both luck.

  18. I’m leaving behind my laziness. I’m going to put effort into school, my instruments and well being. I am going to leave behind all the fucks I give about what people think about me. I’m going to stop being a bitch tit to those I love. I am going to take my education and future more seriously. I’m also leaving my wisdom teeth behind. Thumbs up for going into the new year high on pain meds, with chipmunk face, man.

  19. OK I have to say it somewhere and Autostraddle is the place: New Year’s Eve is my least favorite holiday, bar none. This shit is worse than Valentine’s day. I don’t even know why. Probably because I feel more obligated to MAKE MYSELF HAVE FUN tonight than ever, which is of course the worst way to have fun, ever…

    More importantly, I’m going to leave behind the idea that I am less worthy of existing in this world than any/all other people in it. Because that is foolishness.

  20. leaving behind:

    tequila (you’ve wronged me one too many times Mr. Cuervo)

    not flirting with girls I think are cute

    high school (thank god)

    straight crushes (as best I can)

    Sisters, let us grab 2012 by the balls and make her our bitch! (wait, what?)

  21. Things I am leaving behind:

    -the closet. Somehow my extended family still does not know I’m a homoqueer so I need to fix that shit.

    -HIGH SCHOOL. See ya classmates, it was a slice. NOT.

    -LMFAO if at all possible.

    Things I look forward to:

    -making friends with the nice people at my local menswear store.

    -college, land of unicorns, rainbows (heh), and ramen.

  22. I am leaving behind only living in my own little bubble by making a point to donate to a new organization each month.

    Also, I’m staying at home tonight and celebrating with my family – totally took Lizz’s advice though and wore a v-neck (albeit with black leggings instead of jeans); my Autostraddle v-neck to be exact. Life’s good! (:

  23. Unfortunately, a lot of friends. Read: ALL my friends. That sounds terrible but I’ve decided that my friends are nothing like me. There’s a Hairpin article that references this but I’m too drunk slash on my phone so I can’t find it right now.

    I intensely miss my best friends (a couple) who left the country a few months ago. If I had any money at all I’d be with them. But money dictates life so I’m a bit fucked.

  24. -Crippling fear over my student debt. They can not yet repossess my brain, so fuck them.
    -Massive in law issues that make me want to kick things.
    -Being lazy about eyebrow maintenance.

  25. I will try my damndest to leave behind:

    -my cripplingly low self-esteem

    -the urge I have to apologize for everything

    -lower back pain (although I might need the help of a chiropractor for that one)

    -my secret fear that my mom is right and being attracted to both men and women is unnatural

    BUT I will definitely accomplish:

    -all those sex positions I’ve been itching to try

    -starting up creative writing again (how could I not with all the pretty colored pens I got for Christmas?)

    -going swing/salsa dancing more often

    -finding a paid internship so I can stay in Boston for the summer (woo!)

  26. well, I’d like to lay claim to the month of March forever and ever. I will never not have a sense of ownership over the month, so yeah.

    Things I’m leaving behind in 2011:
    -insecurities about lesbian partying in los angeles
    -insecurities about my non-6 pack stomach
    -my inability to wake up before 11 am
    -my impatience with people who touch my afro without permission in public places
    -my uneasiness about sending my father an Autostraddle calendar–frankly, i think this would be hilarious
    -my obsession with what other people think of me

    Things I’m taking with me:
    -the god given ability to get into Sarah Croce’s pants
    -and other ass as it presents itself

    HURRAH 2012! I see you! I SEE YOU!

    • On a related note: We are one normal chair short tonight, and the only other chairs are the side patio chairs, which are covered with spiders and spiderwebs and other gross things that I refuse to deal with. I am leaving the responsibility of getting another behind in 2011. Someone else will have to get that shit.

  27. What is it about exe’s and bringing everything back up on the holidays, especially New Year’s Eve?

    If you can’t tell, I just had the shit hit the fan right into my face.

    So in 2012, I’m leaving my ex and the drama behind and looking forward to new friends and relationships!

    • I am going to leave behind:
      Only eating the one free meal I get at work each day
      Pretending to be asleep in my room all day because I’m too shy to talk to my housemates
      Not having any queer lady friends

      Like Katrina, I would also like to leave behind bras that don’t fit, but then I would have no bras.

    • Same here about leaving behind guilt related to not knowing about my gayness sooner.
      I’ll also leave behind getting myself so busy with work and school that I always have an excuse for not meeting friends and avoiding any social stuff.
      Happy new year Autostraddle !

  28. 2011 was the year I figured out that I’m not a bisexual person of somewhere-in-between gender, but pretty much a standard-issue trans lesbian, so hiding out in real life as a man isn’t going to work anymore. So, for 2012, I’ll be leaving aside male privilege, testosterone, and facial hair! But hopefully not my family, once I tell them.

  29. YAY for snuggling on the couch with girlfriend and pop.
    I can’t think of anything I need to leave behind. 2011 has been a great step towards healthy and happy and I couldn’t have asked for better people, better experiences or better cats.
    In 2012 I ask for nothing but MORE LOVE.

  30. Leaving behind:
    – my fear of telling my family that I like girls more than dudes
    – always being worried that people think I’m boring/uninteresting
    – saying sorry/feeling guilty when there is no reason to be

    I achieved alot in 2011, but the good things were always overshadowed by so many negative feelings. So here’s to 2012, my year of honesty and letting go of the stupid shit.

  31. i don’t know what i got myself into. after my internship with a queer youth outreach group, i decided to take a term off, therefore graduating in december of 2012 to go to fucking WEST VIRGINIA. appalachia. HOW is a little queer girl who grew up mega catholic gonna survive? imma cry.

  32. i don’t know what i got myself into. after my internship with a queer youth outreach group, i decided to take a term off, therefore graduating in december of 2012 to go to fucking WEST VIRGINIA. appalachia. HOW is a little queer girl who grew up mega catholic gonna survive? imma cry.

    also WHY can’t find “pariah” out in any theaters in VT? i really need to see that movie.


    love & luck

    • THIS! Why is the coolest movie ever only playing in like 7 theaters that are hundreds of miles away? :/

      Yeah I’m also feeling increasingly trapped in this conservative, heteronormative, Republican, racist-and-sexist-but-no-one-will-admit-it bubble. Appalachia…not ftw. Can’t wait to go back to college.

  33. I’m not leaving anything behind! I will hoard all useless personality traits!

    Everyone is giving procrastination such a bad rep! I have reconciled myself with never overcoming it but, like cholesterol, karma and elves, there are good types and bad types of procrastination. The internet even provided me with some blog post which I can’t be bothered reading but am sure proves my point! I think I will spend 2012 practising different types of procrastination to find out which is best for me.

    I also want to spend 2012 using exclamation marks more!

    p.s. Riese, I will donate 1 cent for every hour you make it before cracking and opening 5 tabs. I’d say $10,000 to give it more gravitas, but I’m not a rich, delusional GOP presidential candidate.

  34. Left the closet!

    Well technically I only came out to one person but that makes for a total of 7.5 people

    And I did it after midnight so I left the noun/idea of the closet in 2011 but I left the hypothetical place in 2012.

    But still!

  35. 2011 was a bad year personally. It started with my parents separating, followed by me having a medical emergency and then surgery (without insurance). I’ll be leaving behind my grapefruit sized ovaries and really awful periods.

    2012 is already looking up. I had a really good job interview this week. Looks like I’ll be getting a job offer next week, and it comes with BENEFITS.

    Goodbye underemployment, scraping by, and being uninsured.

  36. My shoes are lace up boots and they look really fucking hot. Also I have a V-Neck on and an HRC button on my leather jacket (despite being in the straightest part of Cali), so I’m confident in my New Years style.

    More than happy to do a shot of bourbon and wave a fucking crazy year filled with drama, death, and massive amounts of stress goodbye. All the while ushering in one that is relatively calmer compared to the last and announcing that my resolution is to date and have fun dating.

    So let’s do this 2012. You and I. Let’s make some good memories and let the bad ones of 2011 fade far back into the recesses of my mind. Like a thin grey fog dissipating at the rosy dawn.

  37. I’m leaving behind curly hair and letting myself lose focus of what I want. I also have these New Years Resolutions:

    1: Embrace the fact that inside, I am a 33 year old man from around 1889.

    Hence 2: Become dapper as fuck.

  38. 12 hours into 2012:

    I left behind being in the closet, both to myself and everyone around.

    Not having much of a social life, lesbians are so much fun to hang out with!

    Self pity, it’s really unatractive.

    Happy 2012!

  39. Ditto on the leaving skinny jeans (ok, maybe most) behind 2011. Levi’s Straights (no pun intended) for me. So much more comfy!

    Unfitted bras, too. I’m going for the sports bra route. Again comfy!

    Other than those, goals this year are to climb more, get stronger, learn another language, be better at the guitar, talk and hang out with more people, find a way to travel, and make some kind of income. My current part-time job is not cutting it out for me. Oh, an also trying to stay positives despite setbacks.

    Goals for 2012!

  40. Oh Autostraddle, how do you always know my heart. 2011 was awful. My list:

    + Being afraid
    + Not getting involved in life
    + Not kissing every girl who’s amenable
    + Guilt about not keeping in contact with friends
    + Getting up after 9:30
    + Not giving my best/focussing/getting on that shit
    + Spending too much time on the net
    + Forgetting to have a good time
    + Worrying. Fuck it.
    + Putting taking care of me at the bottom of my list (see here it is again!). I have to eat fruit and veg and get more exercise, it is IMPORTANT. C’mon pancreas, we can do this.

  41. .. I can’t even believe how much that just made my morning :3
    But right, wtf did i leave in 2011?
    -Hatred of the Canadian winter, ..>.> ,, still working on that one
    -Caring about w/e the hell strangers seem to think of my dresses :3
    – and.. Drinking energy drinks on a daily basis.. Loose leaf tea for me <3

    • But in my defense of the canadian winter.. I’ve been dealing with it my whole life, it was fun when your little cuz you get to go tabogoning.. ( thats not how its spelt..) but now its like.. . .. do i HAVE to clear the driveway… again>?

  42. I got to party with my homogay family, who I don’t get to see that often. It was so fun but I am slightly regretting 5 glasses of champagne.

    Things I’m leaving behind:
    1. Giving my fucks to things that don’t deserve it.
    Subset of this one: caring what my family thinks.
    2. Part-time employment and this shitty religious conservative city in which I dwell.
    3. Internalized homophobia


  43. Leaving behind:
    1. Compromising myself for the sake/approval of others
    2. Spending too much time on tumblr/reading fanfiction instead of working on my portfolio for universities.


  44. The number one thing I will possibly be leaving in last year is my long-term hetero relationship. He’s my best friend and I love him deeply, but it’s not a good relationship any more and I miss being single and on my own so much. I realized that I’ve hung on for too long hoping and trying to make it work, and I don’t want another year of this.

    Also I miss the ladies. But I’ve been in a heteronormative relationship for so long, I feel like my queer card has expired or something. Femme invisibility + “bi angst” (perceived need to “prove” my sexuality, discrimination from lesbians [and everybody], etc etc) + a loooong time out of the dating game = one very frustrated queer girl. Bleh.

  45. I just got home and I think maybe I’m still drunk. Probably just hungover. I wonder where that Autostraddle hangover post is…

    What I’m leaving behind: my sunglasses. I don’t where they went but I definitely lost them last night. Sunlight is evil.

  46. I dunno, I had a party at which things that needed to be purged were burned at (my ex’s old shirt and a couple of letters, for example. A friend of mine brought a box of ex’s things and burned ALL OF IT). Left all the negativity I’d been harbouring, ended up sharing a couch with my cute no-longer-straight friend, watched movies, cuddled, made out, woke up to her face buried in my neck IDEK THIS IS GONNA BE A GOOD YEAR GUYS
    years that start with nice makeouts = almost guaranteed to be good ones.
    this is a fact i just made up on the spot.

  47. + these herringbone slip on vans.
    + that stupid grey hoodie.
    + also jeans with holes in the crotch.
    + anxiety.
    + Fox Mulder (Just kidding, COME BACK MULDER. I LIKE JOHN DOGGETT BUT I MISS YOUR EVERYTHING. I uh, just started season eight last night.)
    + unfinished tattoos.

    Apparently, I strive to be more fashionable and put together in 2012.

  48. Reading all this made me feel really good about myself because it’s one of those things where you realise “hey I am not the only one who feels this way and maybe I’m not such a loser after all”. :)

    + insecurity

    + self-hatred

    + torturing myself through miserable procrastination

    + laziness

    + wearing non-boyshorts underwear

    + hiding from life

    + being afraid of dying alone

    + queer shame

  49. I’m leaving my family behind in 2011: they only call me once a year now that I’ve come out because my mother doesn’t believe I’m really actually gay. Even though I’ve had an awesome girlfriend for a couple of years.

    On a related note: in 2012 I might have to make a sex tape so I can prove to my mother that yep, I’m gay.

  50. Things I left in 2011:
    -All of my inhibitions.

    Things I intend to leave by January 31st 2012:
    -My shitty job

    Things I intend to do in 2012 (which I drunkenly made note of on my phone shortly after midnight in the new year):
    -Learn to play the banjo
    -Join the roller derby

    Done and done. Let’s go 2012.

  51. + Extreme fear of the gym
    + Staining all of my clothes with ink during printmaking
    + Attaching my self-worth to text messages
    + Uncomfortable underwear
    + Ex-girlfriend, concomitant belief that I will never be loved again

  52. things i’m leaving behind:
    + my lousy marriage
    + my lousy ex-husband
    + my phone specific xenophobia (hopefully)
    + my need to be liked by everyone (fuck you exes-in-law!)

    i’m so happy now that i’m out, i’m in love with the best woman i’ve ever met and so ready to figure out this mess of a life we have together.

  53. + My late-in-the-year hangup over that one girl.
    + Smoking.
    + Being too lazy to turn all my scribbles and drafts into actual poems.
    + Spending too much money on takeout instead of cooking.

    What I’m keeping:
    + My newfound love of projects (furniture building class! Painting my apartment! Power tools!)
    + Loving everyone with all of my heart, even if it sometimes comes back to bite me in the ass.
    + Books. All the books.

  54. First speeding ticket, first hangover, first fight with my truest friend… definitely stuff I’m happy to leave behind. I hope to also abandon my hopeless dithering, my terrible driving habits, my undeserved guilt over small things, and the better portion of my internalized bigotry so I’m not so loaded down with worthless stress in 2012.

  55. – My hometown
    – cheap drugstore-brand hair dye
    – being scared that because I’m bisexual I’m somehow not worthy of contributing to discussions in the gay community.
    – feeling guilty about liking/loving/having sex with male people
    – “friends” who only make me feel bad about myself
    – not feeling like I’m hot shit every single day, because let’s face it, I am some hot shit.
    – comparing myself to my little brother, who is a world class go-kart racer with a shot at F1 greatness
    – discounting work that I put in to creative projects that don’t produce a tangible item
    – nebulous anxiety over nothing in particular
    -excessive recreational drug use

  56. oh! I forgot to mention this in my earlier posting but one thing that I’m definitely leaving behind in 2011 is the closet. I came out of it to many a people this week so that’s something new and exciting to start off the new year.

    What’s not a new and exciting way to start the new year? Still being hungover as hell at 12:47 am a full day later. WHY DOES MY BODY HURT THIS MUCH AND WHERE DID THESE BRUISES COME FROM?

  57. A bit late at the game, but i had the shittiest New Year’s Eve ever. my best friend has a girlfriend who hates me (because I’m a girl and he and I used to be extremely close), so she cancelled, they broke up, but at the last minute got back together. So i had to sit there and shut up because i love my best friend, who basically ignored me all evening. then, when i got home, it was to find my alcoholic sister passed out on the toilet. two friends of mine were with me. i got my father and once he had put her in bed i proceeded to spout everything i ever wanted to tell him.
    i then spent the first day of 2012 hungover as hell.

    SO in 2012 I am leaving behind:

    – the responsibility of making my family function
    – my unhealthy relationships
    – my best friend, who I will have to just call “friend” from now on even if it hurts
    – laziness (i really should be studying for those pesky exams i have in a week)
    – trusting people too easily and getting hurt

    what I WILL be bringing into the new year:

    + amazing friends
    + dedication to whatever I do
    + continue boxing this time
    + probably going vegan. If I can let go of that laziness thing.

  58. so what I leave behind is my girlfriend in 2011….as she skyped me new years day morning to tell me that she cheated on me at a NYE party (she’s german and was there for xmas/NY)….pretty crushed to be honest but I am going to be positive:

    2012 I am going to watch some events at the olympics,learn my guitar that’s been collecting dust and well hopefully meet someone that’s gonna screw me over so royally as my now ex gf did….

    happy new year girls…..x

  59. You know, I’ve only just discovered Autostraddle a few months ago and I feel at home even though I have yet to make a profile on here. I love you guys and I don’t even know you. I’ve been feeling so defeated lately. Ugh, I hate feeling lost but I just really appreciate this site because I know I am not alone in my lost feelings. I hope to leave behind my doubts and FEARS. I think I’m ready to take the leap and I just discovered the need to live a little on the edge a few weeks ago. Thank you so much. Heres to 2012. #YouDoYou is my mantra. ^_^

  60. Be it resolved that, in 2012…
    I will write and publish my book.
    I will experiment more with mind-bending substances
    I will surround myself with positive, confident and inspiring cunts.
    I will be a more conscious consumer.

    BRING IT ON, 2012!

  61. Just to let everyone know, I actually didn’t just deactivate my OKC account, I deleted it. Completely. No going back!

    Granted, it was motivated by getting in a relationship, but I’m honestly so glad to be done with that site. It’s not because it’s the worst ever, as I’ve met some awesome girls on there (not so many awesome boys). But just because I’m a naturally picky person and something about OkCupid just encourages you to get pickier and pickier until you’re thinking of not dating someone otherwise awesome because she has bad taste in musicals/he’s really into beer-making and that kind of reminds you of your douchey bro-in-law/equally shallow BS.

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