FRIDAY OPEN THREAD: A Modest Proposal That Pet Stores Are The New Queer Meet-Up Spots In 2019, Do You Agree?

Hello friends, family, enemies-to-lovers origin stories!

How’s the first couple of weeks (kind of) of 2019 treating you? Are you demolishing your goals? Are you treating yourself well? Drinking enough water, getting some of those important I can’t remember the name sunlight rays? Have you already surpassed last-year’s-you gayness levels? Has a fish bitch-slapped you in the face and then fallen into your pocket while working? Have you tried to sneak rescue animals into your house recently?

I have a confession to make. I don’t come here with just shits and giggles, my friends, I’m here for some serious business:

We need new meet-up spots.

Gone are the days when I can uncomfortably hold the same drink for three hours straight while loud music plays over me and I don’t realize I haven’t taken the tag off my outfit until a kind lesbian lets me know. I can no longer hope to meet enough people once a year at a Pride event. I can’t always take five trains and nine buses and hope a space alien will let me hitch a ride on the off chance I’ll make eye contact with someone not straight who will understand me telepathically willing them to fall in love with me or at least move closer so I can talk to them. I have done enough and we should be able to meet each other outside of this cyber space (though thank God for it). We deserve better this year and all the years to come.

That is why I propose our local pet stores.

Hi we’re lesbians and we met at a local pet store 3 weeks ago and now we’re moving in together WE LOVE OUR NEW QUEER MEET-UP SPOT!

Hear me out!

As I’ve started my new job, guess what lovely surprise was waiting for me as I literally get paid to talk to dogs? It’s this: THERE ARE SO MANY LESBIANS AT THE PET STORE (and for my Speakeasy fam, you go to the right one THERE ARE EVEN MORE OF US! 95% of the lesbians I’ve interacted with here are black/poc and I’m like, “I made it to heaven, I knew there’d be dogs and lesbians there. I can’t believe it!”).

You wouldn’t believe my shock when after clocking in and getting ready to up my dog daily pet tally, that people who seem to be lesbians are walking around the store. Asking me for dog food and giving the *knowing* look and a grin while I completely lose focus and try to remember my name. I thought this just happened in Living Single and The L Word! But it turns out the gays were here all along!

(Now, keep in mind, we’ve got several monogamous couples coming in hot, but shit if it isn’t healing just being surrounded by not straight not cis people while going about your daily business.)

A butch lesbian flirted with me while in the checkout line. Like, it was so obvious even my mom (who happens to pop in from time to time, it’s chill) found something to look at in the back of the store so she wouldn’t “ruin my game” (as if I have any)! Let me repeat this, my mother left the line so a lesbian could actively check me out while I checked her out. (I’ll see myself out on that one.) THIS IS THE STUFF OF FANFICTION PEOPLE!!!! DON’T YOU WANT YOUR FANFICTIONS TO HAPPEN TO YOU AND BECOME REALITY?

And it’s not just us! Someone just came in last week and talked about how his husband did something for him LIKE IN NORMAL CONVERSATION!!! LIKE WE’RE A SAFE PLACE??!! I HAVE BEEN IN A TIZZY AND I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Wow I loved spending time and money at the local pet store, because I love my pet and also because I just saw no fewer than 12 queer humans there, it’s like it’s our new gay bar or something!

You may be saying, “Alexis, you’re late to the party here,” but gentlepeople I believe I am right on time. In this reality of certain chaos and turmoil, we need spaces of respite, where we can gather ourselves and be ready to fight another day and we need community in order to do it. That community has apparently been buying cat beds from Aisle 13 this whole time.

Let me appeal to my fellow introverts. This place is perfect because: 1) if you come in with an animal, that is already a great talking jump off point: “Oh, what’s your dog’s name?” (you don’t even need game for this to happen!) 2) You can ask if you can pet the animal (which shows that you’re already about consent/mindful of others’ space/YOU GET TO PET AN ANIMAL) 3) You can arrange for the animals to play/to see the animals more which means you’ll see their pet parent more and voila! Another gay in your life! A bonus: if anything goes awry with this conversation, there will be more animals already waiting to be your therapist and listen to how you’re gonna do better next time. The birds and hamsters are cheering you on!

Not feeling like this is the place to be? I wanna hear about it! Get in here and tell me what the new meet-up spot should be (so I can write it down and go there immediately)! Don’t wanna talk about any of this? I’m here for that too! The point I want to drive home is I wanna hear about your life and I’m so happy you’re here so as the kids say, let’s get this party started!

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A. Tony Jerome

A.Tony is a black nonbinary artist out here to do good and to do gay. They are a 2015 Pink Door Fellow, 2016 Lambda Literary Emerging Writer Fellow, 2020-21 Afro Urban Arts Lit From the Black! Fellow, and have worked with Roots.Wounds.Words., Words Beats & Life, and Winter Tangerine among other places. You can find more of their work on their website and listen to them scream about poetry & other interests on Twitter.

A. has written 47 articles for us.


  1. Yes to ALL the pet things!

    Off topic: I’d like to share this Facebook post I wrote today. I want to share a little Jewish thought with y’all, if you feel so inclined to read.

    16 years ago today, I became a Bat Mitzvah. It was a lovely service, although I don’t remember it. The party, I definitely don’t remember because I didn’t go. I had a massive panic attack about an hour in, and I spent the night in the youth lounge of my synagogue, while the party went on…without me. I held on to my anxiety for a long time, and it’s definitely been something that’s held me back. Over a decade after overcoming agoraphobia, years since my last full-blown panic attack, I still hold onto that sick little girl. Tomorrow, I will have a Re-Bat Mitzvah. I will move on the next chapter of my life, and in front of friends and G-d, let go of this sick little girl, embracing my life as a healthy, grown woman. This Shabbat, I would like to pose a thought for all of you: when did you choose life? In the Torah, Moses told the Jews before he died to “choose life”. The rabbis have debated the symbolism of “choose life”, but for me, it’s quite literal. On January 9, 2007, I chose to leave my house and be alive. When did you choose life? When did you decide that you were going to fully embrace everything life has to offer? Was there one Life Day for you? Or has it been ongoing? Beshalach, which is the Torah portion that begins on my Re-Bat Mitzvah tomorrow night, means “after he had let go.” What are you letting go of?

    Shabbat Shalom.

    • oh. my. goodness.

      i don’t even have enough words for this. i love this. thank you so much sharing this. i read this while like begrdugingly trying to get up and get ready for a closing shift and this really got me in my heart.

      im so proud of you, im so thankful youre carrying that sick little girl into this Re-Bat Mitzvah and giving her a chance to experience it in better and the best ways. im so glad youre asking these questions because i forget the important answers to them, that i have a choice here and i am actively choosing life all the time, that its not always easy and doesnt look pretty but its mine and that its important to sometimes stop and remember that you’re choosing and who that’s saving. like little girl me is like “yes! where has this question been? i need you to keep answering.” i gotta keep answering.

      i love this a lot and i hope you have the best Re-Bat Mitzvah!!!! thank you!!!!

    • I’m excited for you! And I suppose my answer is it’s on-going, but I LOVE the question and really appreciate you sharing it. :D

  2. Oh no, that’s a terrible idea. You meet up at a pet store, try to get your awkward flirt on, get flustered, nervously adopt a cat, and 45 cats later you still don’t have a date.

    • okay see i get this!!

      except im actually allergic to like….all the animals and my family knows how prone i am to trying to sneak animals home so theyre on high alert every time i leave the house. ive got, i guess necessary, things stopping me but i’d be in 20 dogs deep otherwise.

    • BUT you have the makings of the remote cat island retreat you can create once you decide to make a clean break from society so win/win

  3. Make sure you hit up the section with the reptiles and sugar gliders. That’s the gayest part of the store.

  4. If you live in Southern California, go to any Centinela Feed & Pet Supplies store. Seriously. Everyone that works there appears to be queer. Every time we go our local Centinela, there’s a cute queer cashier who is all too eager to help you pick out the best puppy pads. And yes, my GF always points out how blatantly she appeared to be flirting with my ever so clueless self. Ha.

  5. I KNOWWWW the PET STORE is a meet up spot because a little over a year ago after a long time flirt with the pet store girl she ASKED ME OUT. We went on a DATE where she paid for a 3 COURSE MEAL *VERY FIRST DATE MAY I SAY*

    it didn’t work out further than a few dates but she was a CAPRICORN and she’s still in my phone as PET STORE GIRL and still likes my pet photos on facebook so, I say we all got a happy ending here.

    • MIKA THAT IS AMAZING i love your use of CAPS it makes this comment so EXCITING and THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST HAPPY ENDINGS EVER actually the WHOLE beginning middle and end are A DREAM

      i just want to use this like:

      Pet Stores New Trending Lesbian Meeting Spot, Now Mika (TM) Verified!

      so everyone knows its extra legit

  6. The highlight of my week was coming home to my kitty Sweetums on Monday!!! I spent my first five days after top surgery at my parent’s house and it was soo sooo hard to be away from them that long. It was the longest I’d been away since getting them in November. Being back with them and in my own usual space and routines has been amazing! It doesn’t seem like anything else happened this week because I’ve just been cuddling them and watching Golden Girls for days…



  7. Your list of 3 reasons only applies to dog-lesbians. I’m a cat-lesbian. :( Other than that, it’s a super idea.

    I’d also like to submit the idea pet shelters. I took a stray kitty to the shelter recently and met 2 cat-loving women and 1 bunny-loving woman who were all more age appropriate than the 20-somethings at the pet store. (The stray kitten is now safe at home with my new neighbors who have hopefully gotten him chipped and will keep him safe inside and away from eagles and coyotes.)

    • I’m only well versed in dogs :/ I keep trying to understand cats but once I think I understand their language, they switch up on me and I don’t feel comfy giving cat lesbian advice because I want us all to succeed!

      That makes sense with the shelters too, I feel like baby lesbians (me) are at pet stores but not 20 something lesbians know it’s all about the shelters

      Yes!!! Pet shelters!!!! I haven’t been to one yet (we’er partnered with rescue centers so it’s like the come to us), but it’s on my to-go list and this is a really fantastic addition thank you!

  8. I have no idea if our local pet store is a queer space because when I’m there I’m usually the only one there… wait doesn’t that mean it IS a queer space??

  9. This is genius. And bonus gay points if it’s a natural pet food store – the one near me is literally the gayest place in town

    • !!!!!!!!!!!!!! that must be part of it at least half the food (im told) is natural i didn’t even factor this in you are adding some important facts and data here yes!!

  10. As someone who doesn’t have a pet but desperately wants one, I am here for everyone’s pet photos.

  11. Here in the UK it is next to impossible to have pets if you rent and therefore I have no excuse to go to a pet store and can’t speak to their gayness, which is super sad!

    Also adding to my sad is that Andy Murray is retiring because of injury. He’s a real hero – described as a “casual feminist” which seems a great title actually and admired by the female players because of how he sticks up for them. Even icon Billie Jean King is a fan (BTW, she was amazing on the BBC Sports Personality when they gave her a legend award and it was so great her partner was there and it was like NBD).

    But of the happy making, I saw a very nice interview with King Princess yesterday on the BBC website, because she was the runner up in the BBC Sounds of 2019, which is kind of a big deal. Very interesting!

    And my birthday is a week tomorrow, so a week today I get to hang with the bestie all day!

    • oh no, i just watched a clip and i dont really know a whole lot about tennis rn so i expected him to be a lot older? thats really sad, i didnt know he was so young and he is utterly devastated, i hope he can make it to wimbledon at least but wow

      im just realizing i dont think ive heard king princess talk? like i just hear music, i should look that up right now and thats so cool!

      happy early birthday!! i hope you have the best time with your bestie!!

    • Queer in the UK here! 👋 In my experience, the pet stores are not very queer at all, sadly. But, I found the local hardware store to be incredibly queer! I went in there for the first time recently and it was like, ooooh this is where all the local queers are hiding! So, give B&Q a try!

      • the hardware store yes! im personally haunted by lowe’s and home depot from trips with my parents as a kid but yes more local hardware store trips!!

  12. I’ve sadly never been to a pet store that didn’t have an aggressively hetero feel to it (at least not as an adult). Like, there’s a show poodle section where women shop and a camo-reflective-hunting-tech section where men shop.

    • Where is this that they have a hunting section in a pet store? Seems a bit of an oxymoron(would that be the right term here?).

      • Everywhere I’ve lived since I turned 20. Which is to say, suburban Scandinavia and rural France. Dogs are a pretty integral part to hunting culture and the hunting experience all across Europe. Also, in certain countries, with many breeds you aren’t allowed to register the litter unless the sir and dam (doggy parents) have achieved a certain mark on a certain hunting exam, relating to the breed’s specific uses (a blood tracking exam isn’t sufficient for a pointing-flushing-retriever, for example, and British breeds have slightly different trials than continental breeds), as well as a certain passing grade on a conformation show.

        • Sire. Autocorrect really doesn’t like that word, apparently.

          Dogs are so important to hunting culture that when I got my license I didn’t only have to be able to differentiate between different species of deer (autocorrect: seer — not sure what my autocorrect says about me) by staring at their asses, I also had to specify which type of dog to use for different situations. 🐶

          • Kinda makes me wanna go to rural France and become a hunter just so I can go gay up that camo section…

          • Oo, yes. Also, given how “in” all things camo are, why haven’t I seen rainbow camo for Pride?

            On a different note… *squints* is that Knowth in your user picture?

    • oh my

      have they not seen brooklyn nine nine where captain holt trOTS with cheddar the dog as though they are on that show dog competition this store has their marketing scheme all wrong

  13. Pet Stores are perfect for flirting! Conversation starters at every turn, cute animals as a buffer for awkwardness, you can’t lose! And worst case scenario, if you’re rejected you still get to go home and hang with your bestest pal!

    Related: please send good vibes to my pup Stanley. He had a biopsy of a mass in his throat today. Fingers crossed that he’ll be healthy again soon and that my bank account can handle it all 🤞🏼

    • sending good vibes your and stanley’s way!!

      i love your win/win scenario thats definitely what im aiming for for basically all of us just win/wins all around

  14. To be fair there are cities with cat cafes and even dog cafes where people can pet, feed and even adopt a pet. Plus, all the queer coffee shops where pets are allowed and in both places you can have a nice tea while listening to music that isn’t loud or bad(that one may experience at a bar). As for pet stores we would have to make sure they are ethically treating their animals. These place should also have a simple snack bar with coffee and tea options so you know you can get that cute girl an almond milk latte. Speaking of which, I went to first queers, coffee, and donuts at cuties this week and like always had a fun time. There is also another event happening there this Sunday that I might go to. Cuties for the most part is dog friendly too(as long as the dog is behaved of course).

    How is everyone’s week going? Mines has been a bit frustrating as my car still at the hands of the dealership and all week has been telling me it’s going to be ready tomorrow, but then it’s not. I honestly think they are fucking with me, cause they can’t figure out the problem. Again why I hate modern cars, too much electronics that could go wrong(in this case a federally mandated sensor to tell me hood is ajar or not). I am also tried of hearing about the federal government, I just want a week where we don’t look like a bunch of disorganized racists and maybe grow up to become humans with some decency. Also, after a few weeks of seeing my bff at least once a week we haven’t seen each other in over week and it’s been a tad quiet on the texting side. The queer feminist discord I am on tells me that’s normal last night and that has made me feel better.

    This on my morning walk to the bank. It was kind of quiet and proof that it does rain in SoCal sometimes.

    Thank you for viewing and reading my post. Have a positive and warm weekend!

    • That’s true! I totally forgot there’s a cat cafe around me.

      I hope your dealerships stops fucking with you and that the government just. gets its shit together

      i hope you and your friend talk again really soon! that sounds tough

      • Thank you. My friend did reply. Yeah, I think I might get my car Monday hopefully so I can take a short scenic drive.

  15. Pet stores as new gay meet-up locations? I’m sorry, but I must disagree. Some of us are either living someplace where we can’t have pets, can’t afford pets right now, or (like me ;n;) have both problems. Not to mention the poor unfortunates who are allergic to various kinds of pets. I hereby vote nay on this proposal.

    • no need to apologize, im here for the opinions! do you have another idea of where we can go? im so open to all of these its gonna be my mission this year to go to every kind of place mentioned!

      (and i do get it! im actually all three: can’t have pets in the place im living rn, can’t afford them, and allergic too!)

      • Unfortunately I’m rubbish at meeting other LGBTQ+ folks, so I have no suggestions that I can make right now.

        • i hope a comment might spark some inspiration! i think ppl have pretty cool suggestions if youre looking!

  16. I love this. My neighbourhood pet store is only populated by the sweet but gruff old man who owns it and his bitey parrot, but maybe I should try farther afield? I might switch pet stores for a queer scene. Plus, I don’t think I could date someone who didn’t like animals, and this conveniently weeds them out.

    Things personally have been a bit rough, my recent ex who I’m still heartbroken over has a documentary coming out about her drag. Seriously, is there actually anything worse than your ex at her most edited and perfect blasted all over your social media landscape unavoidably?

  17. My partner and I bought an apartment a little over a year ago and the building is unexpectedly a dog-owning queer and trans hotspot! So blessed, it’s like our own personal gay pet store right in the lobby.

  18. Since I’m allergic to basically everything with hair and the hay in pet stores as well (city girl,sorry) I‘d veto that idea.
    However, any store that serves a fancy latte usually also has a handsome queer barista to go with it.
    Wherever you go,any country in the world.
    It’s universal law.
    Plus points: They ask you for name and then draw smileys on your to go cups and little hearts into the milk foam, which is honestly the closest I’ve gotten to a relationship this decade.

    Where was I?
    Ah, yes. I‘ve started watching She-Ra last night and she reminds me so.much of one Kara Danvers. Puppy hearted,broad shouldered,blonde gals with super strength and complicated uh, best friend relationships are kind of a thing now?
    Well, I’m here for it.
    Have a good weekend everyone!

    • mm ive gotta explore more coffee shops because this is a great suggestion and also according to all the fanfic i read, coffee shops are a big hit

      I LOVE SHE RA SO MUCH and this is such a great comparison this whole “best friend is in love with the main character but the main character just cannot see it” is great for writing i guess but i’d support it more if i knew they were getting together in the end
      how far are you into the show? who’s your favorite character(s)? i just. love this show so much im so glad you brought it up!

  19. How about herbal / metaphysical shops, restaurants with vegan / vegetarian options or outdoor local food markets??? Seriously, St. Pete has lots of these and I am eternally grateful!! These just seem to be queer magnets! Oh, and I’ve also got the fancy coffee places with the queer baristas too. I’ve recently started going to a new-age church, not looking for anyone at all, just exploring new ideas and I’m LITERALLY SURROUNDEEEEDDDDD by our community over there!!! My gosh, I guess the Universe REALLY DOES provide what you ask for, LOL! Problem is, everyone’s already taken. They’ve been there for years, and I’m the newby.

    • Yes, I go to the fancy coffee place downtown mainly to watch hot gender-nonconforming hipsters in welding aprons make my coffee!

    • added to my to-go list and what are the chances i was just looking into this queer church that has apparently been around here for a while and im not going in looking for anyone but this is def a push to check it out sooner! well maybe the taken people have some single friends perfect for you!

  20. Yeah, I gotta agree about pet store meet-ups not being ideal for everyone.
    I think a group should be started for everyone that’s allergic to all animals!
    Then maybe someone (and others like me) wouldn’t feel for left out.

    • Definitely up for that! Any ideas? I feel like the sports places can be hit or miss (not including women’s basketball tbh), but not everyone loves sports. Maybe something around movies/tv? The only other place I can even think of is A Camp and i have no idea how to make that happen all over the world kind of hiding in plain sight so we’re not bothered and all the time but whatever you’re thinking I’m open to!

      • @ Alexis, I honestly have no idea, I’m not very good at things like this.
        I’m actually one of those lesbians that doesn’t fit in with all those sterotype things, like sports and certain TV shows & movies. Which I know is a dumb thing to say but someone can list 10 things and I still would feel I don’t belong.
        Besides, it’s not like I’ll be meeting anyone anytime soon anyway. A meet-up is out of the question for me anyway, at least for a five or so years…

        • yeah i dont mean to put you on the spot especially if youre not looking to meet up for a while

          its not a dumb thing to say, im sorry you dont feel like you dont belong

          what are some of your interests, if you dont mind me asking?

          • @ Alexis You didn’t put me on the spot, don’t worry.

            Well my main and longest interest has been Old Hollywood including the history of Hollywood. Now, I know there were plenty of non-straight women in the Golden Age of Hollywood but I just can’t get interested in them or their movies no matter how hard I try.

            I also like classic TV, mostly sitcoms from the 1960s and 1970s.

            While I don’t wear vintage clothing I have an interest in it. I guess it’s called the history of fashion.

            So basically if it’s from 40+ years ago I’m interested.

          • @ Alexis Some of my favorites are:
            Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Gone With the Wind, The Thin Man, West Side Story, The Goodbye Girl, Meet Me in St. Louis, Rope and Jaws.

          • meet me in st louis is one of the first musicals we did in high school/holds a v special place in my heart (as does judy and mostly all her movies in general)!

            west side story, i have to admit, i watch specifically for natalie wood and rita moreno, which also, not the same kind of movie, but have you seen splendor in the grass? my mom had me and my sister watch it years ago and its still one of my favorites even though the attitudes towards mental illness is (of course) outdated

            how do you feel about singin in the rain? a friend i used to talk to loved loved loved katherine hepburn and im wondering do you like her too? most of the old hollywood movies i love are hitchcock, with rear windows being my absolute favorite.

            i think im the one person in the world who hasn’t seen jaws and breakfast at tiffany’s is on my list, so many of my friends have recommended it but i just keep forgetting because it doesnt pop up first on my netflix so next day off im gonna watch!

          • @ Alexis, aww that’s sweet it holds special memories for you. Yeah, Judy was pretty great. I guess my top 3 movies of her’s are: Meet Me in St. Louis, A Child is Waiting and The Wizard of OZ.

            Natalie Wood is one of my favorites so yes I’ve seen Splendor in the Grass and yeah it’s a good movie, Natalie gives an incredible performance.

            Hitchcock made so many good movies, Rear Window is really good. I also like Strangers On A Train, Psycho, Marine and Shadow of a Doubt. Sometimes late at night if I’m still awake I watch The Alfred Hitchcock Hour.

            Singin’ in the Rain is okay, I don’t love it and while I appreciate Katharine Hepburn’s attitude on being who she wanted to be and not be who Hollywood wanted her to be I just can’t get into her.

            I only recently saw Jaws (and the really lame sequels) but for some reason I really like it. I feel like people either love or hate Breakfast at Tiffany’s, it’s ‘problematic’ for many but I really like the story.

  21. I only go to the pet store from time to time in order to buy gifts for my brother’s cat (I have no human niblings to spoil). I’m not sure this will work for me.

    Or maybe it’ll work REALLY WELL for my brother’s cat?

    • but we want it to work out for you (no offense to your brother’s cat)!! im gonna brainstorm some more

  22. Oh wow, I think this is correct!

    Actually, the highest number of lesbians I’ve ever seen- outside of gay things- was when I spent a few hours at a veterinary clinic in Oakland, CA. The pet store is the perfect, not sad, parallel! Also, congrats on the new job!

  23. Love it!

    Speaking of meetups, where are the Seattle Straddlers at? I posted in the community thread and heard nothing. Is there a Seattle community?

  24. I’ll be drifting into dreamland here, thinking of the land of lesbians and dogs. Thank you for that.

  25. Gays, I’m having a terrible week
    So my job is cutting my hours in half which is annoying and inconvenient, especially considering it’s probably so they can already pay me less (I work minimum wage so WEEE YAY, less money -_-) and it’s snowing this weekend and I have the last 4 hour shift of the week and I’m just like “Why even go through the trouble?” Nobody’s going to be at the store, even if it is a Saturday that’s expecting snow, unless EVERYBODY is coming in to impulse buy snowsuits

    Monday I had a silent ugly-cry watching “Little Mermaid” (THAT MOVIE IS MY CHILDHOOD AND I’M NOT APOLOGIZING FOR IT) and on Wednesday, I found out the guy (yeah, I know) I had a crush on just came out on Instagram to say he has a girlfriend and they’ve been dating “a while”. I remember skimming through the post and my face just getting hotter and hotter and then my heart just smashing like a pressurized soda can. Granted I wasn’t actively pursuing him or anything because I hate coming across as needy and clingy but it still hurt, even if I wasn’t all that surprised since crushing on a guy who ends up going for a more conventionally attractive white femme straight woman is par for the course in my life. I told my baby trans ex about it pretty much as soon as I found out and immediately she was like “DO YOU WANT ME TO COME OVER TO CHEER YOU UP? :O” and I understand why she would want to jump to console me. Crushing on this guy, this dumbshit guy, was my driving motivation for a while and when I found out he was with someone already, suddenly everything I wanted to do didn’t seem to matter anymore and even the fact I was entertaining the fantasy of it seemed unbearably stupid. We did end up hanging out the day after and watching “Yojimbo”, which did cheer me up a little bit.

    On the bright (gay) side, I did end up watching “The Favourite” and liking it a lot, weirdly dovetailing with another kind of raunchy historical movie “The Little Hours” that I watched on Sunday. I never thought seeing Aubrey Plaza as a foul-mouthed sarcastic nun that flirts with witchcraft was lacking in my life but I’m glad I have it now.

    In short: straight guys ain’t shit. 20-bi-teen, I’m fulfilling my destiny to actually get with a lady >_>

    • i hope your shift went well and this week treats you better!

      you should literally never have to apologize for the little mermaid it is a classic and we should all treat it as such

      im sorry the crush didnt work out im glad your ex coming over and watching yojimbo helped though! GOOD LUCK GETTING WITH A LADY THIS YEAR IM ROOTING FOR YOU!!!

  26. hello lowkey wish that FOT had a chat option because a butch did the butch lesbian lean while talking to me and it took all my might not to just faint on the spot couldve used the advice of the straddleverse to make sOMETHING happen but we’ll try again soon



      LOVE U

  27. Oh boy not with my doggos.

    Doggo #1 is leash aggressive and protective of me, Doggo #2 is an escape artist who poops every single time we go into a pet store. Both are very pretty, cute and sweet to people but I can’t take both them places with other dogs and loud noises. But I’d love to go to a meet up and pet other people’s pets, socialize some kittens.

    I think a bakery, cafe or some kind of sweet shop would make a good meet-up spot but there’s so many allergies that exist picking a place 100% free of them is impossible.
    Since I heard about Cuties in LA my occasional flight of fancy that’s not the sci-fi thing is what I’d put on the menu for a place like that cause NOLA is ice box pie area and some of those are very vegan and/or gluten-free friendly sans crust or with a cheerio crust.
    My other “culinary” flight of fancy is soda float shop with vast inventory of specialty sodas and 3 main ice cream flavors and 2 rotating flavors.

    Um the past 2 weeks (or 3?) have been hard with the death of my grandmother, helping my mom with some of the end of life tasks that crop up. Her stressing me the fuck out by not giving me direct Y/N answer about a shirt leading me to the logical with what she said and past history conclusion she wanted me in a dress or skirt for the funeral.
    Thanks for being a listening ear and a consoling something, I’m out of comforting people type words but thanks everybody who reached out.

    So last time I mentioned I had a theory it is this: Being non-binary when I feel feminine and dress as such it gives people hope that I’m finally going to blossom into a swan, be the beautiful woman I was born to be in their minds and stop hiding my beauty in such plain or outright masculine clothes.
    And maybe if I presented as MOC all of the time and never ever dressed feminine again in their sight they’d give up or just not mention how beautiful I could be as much anymore BUT that’s wishful thinking cause some people “can’t” give up, I know better as much as I’ve read I know better than that.

    However I do stand-by my occasional bouts of femininity give people false hope.

    • ive never had a soda float they seem tastefully elusive or something i think i need to try one soon

      im really sorry about your grandma passing. i know its even harder when you have to be something you may not be comfortable in (i think thats what im getting here? correct me if im wrong though) and just solidarity. i dont know about dressing more feminine vs more MOC, i just wanna suggest that you dress however makes you feel best in the moment because youre nonbinary regardless and valid, but i do agree that bouts of femininity give people false hope. but they shouldnt be hoping for you to be anything other than who you are.

      i would also like to know about your sci fi interests btw

  28. I have two adorable little dogs but strangers only care about one, so we’ll talk about him. He is no help whatsoever when it comes to meeting people. First of all, he hates almost all people despite lots of proper socialization and classes as a pup. He’s just genetically nervous and suspicious and will nip if he feels threatened. When people ask to pat him, I have to say no, and women will accept that and leave, while men will stand around arguing with me, saying, “All dogs love me!” or “I wouldn’t mind being bitten by such a cute dog!” (Yes, really. More than once.) Also, on the rare occasion my dog decides he loves someone, it’s usually a guy, probably because I have brothers and the dog is used to being around guys. He also has separation anxiety, so he gets to be the one who accompanies me when I can only take one dog somewhere, and my “good” dog has to stay home by herself. I love him, but damn, is he ever a pain in the ass.

    • why are men the way they are actually we all know why i just want them to stop

      okay but!!!! i care about both your pets!!! and would love to hear about the other adorable dog too

      and i would like to wave at your dog from a respectable distance while internally screaming because he is v cute tHANK YOU FOR SHARING A PICTURE

      • You can’t really tell from the photo, but he’s under 20lbs (around the size of a shiba inu), so… yeah, he gets a lot of attention. One time we went to visit a friend in a bigger city, and I warned her before we went for a walk that we’d be stopped a lot. She scoffed at me, so I gave her the leash and told her she could answer the questions. She made it about two blocks before she was overwhelmed! My other dog is a papillon and is super sweet and smart, and before I got the klee kai she used to get tons of attention, but now all she gets is a polite, “Oh, that one’s cute too” after people fawn all over the “little husky” (who wants nothing to do with them).

  29. Oh how do I love pets. I might actually consider this but I would be in danger of not noticing the awesome queer women because of all the cute fur babies…… awww the struggle

    • this makes sense my eyes are almost always looking at the ground because im on the lookout for cute pets

  30. Sorry this comment is late! I’m not logged in to my profile on mobile, and I forgot that I wanted to respond to this thread later on my laptop lol.

    I used to work at a chain petstore (in Baltimore, MD), and while I was working there I wasn’t out. Well a month before I moved on to another job, a whole bunch of my coworkers came out in a random conversation we were having during the clean up shift! I’m bi, 1 coworker was lesbian, and 2 were queer! We were a welcoming staff- I would say that the cis-guys were generally on the feminist side of things. Pet owners also tended to be some of the nicer “public” that I’ve dealt with in my retail jobs. I think it comes from being responsible for pets and treating them like family members <3

    My family has 2 cats and I have a fish, and I will say that whenever I go into a petstore to pick up food or supplies, I have an interesting conversation with a stranger or I get to pet someone's cut animal! Win-win in my book :D

    • That’s so cool! I love it when it turns out you weren’t as alone as you probably thought and I definitely agree that pet customers tend to be like noticeably nicer than the general public in re: customer service jobs.

      Yes I love that! pet store seem to be one of those places where you’re more likely to find out something really interesting about strangers that you wouldnt learn otherwise (hence me pushing this! small talk is a nightmare let’s get to the good stuff!!!)

      thank you for coming back to comment!

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