The Comment Awards Are Folding You Into Thirds and Setting You Upright In a Drawer

Hey there, cinnamon buns! It’s Friday! I spent last weekend watching Marie Kondo tidy other people’s houses (please read Rachel’s write up immediately) while completely ignoring my own mess, which is CONSIDERABLE (there are now ants). This weekend I really must do better! By the way, have I mentioned lately that you spark joy for me? Because you do. 

This week, Yao wrote about being soft in Baopu #55.

Sandra Oh got to shine at the Golden Globes, and thanked her parents in Korean, and it was just literally everything.

The team talked about embracing change.

Speaking of change, Archie wrote this amazing primer on introducing sex toys into your relationship!

Kayla would like for you to drink more tea. All the tea, in fact.

Need some hope in the new year? Heather’s got all the best TV for that.

Natalie watched the new Fosters spin-off, Good Trouble, and deemed it worthy. I miss the mamas already, but I can’t wait for Callie to frown around town in even more blue and white striped shirts!

And then there were your comments.

On Femme Brûlée: Eggnog Cinnamon Rolls:

The Baked Goods Award to muffin and Chandra:

Muffin: Reneice I don’t actually like baking I just like luxurating in these posts / Chandra: How could you betray your origins that way

On 2019 Golden Globes Winners: Sandra Oh and Queer Red Carpet Looks:

The C.O.A.T. Award to Carmen SanDiego:

Yo Billy Porter, I’m really happy for you, Imma let you finish but Lena Waithe had one of the best capes of all time…one of the best capes of all time

On For Your Consideration: Drinking Just Way Too Much Tea:

The Tea Brag Award to Alice and Rachel W.:

Alice: My body is 60% tea. / Rachel W: I honestly can’t tell if you’re confessing, bragging, or flirting with everyone here.

On Oh, Hey! It’s Alyssa #62: Twenty Bi-Teen:

The Two Steps Forward, One Step Back Award to cleo:

Captures all of my feelings of hope, confidence and anxiety this month in 2 panels.

On No Filter: Stephanie Beatriz Is So Hot I Invented an Awards Ceremony Around Her:

The Gay-ger Award to Jeanni, Snaelle and Iarran Mé:

Jeanni: That picture of Teddy Geiger made me say Holy Shit out loud. Thank you for including her and blessing me with all this hotness before work. / Snaelle: I’d like to add a comment but I seem to have lost the power of speech. / Iarran Me: Your Geiger counter is clicking like mad?

On Also.Also.Also: Man Asks Lesbian Couple at Football Game If They “Need a Man In Their Life,” Assaults Them, Gets Charged With Hate Crime:

The Happy Stitch Award to Corvus:

WE DESERVE TO BE HAPPY – I would like this cross-stitched onto a little pillow.

And on Marie Kondo’s “Tidying Up” Lovingly Drags the Depressed, Defeated Viewer into 2019:


I said it before and I'll say it again: spark joy, motherfuckers! [Photo of sally holding two boxes of tote bags folded in the Marie Kondo way, laughing maniacally}

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Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

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    • I tidied my closet (for me, this netflix lady would still be like “oh boy give us a week together and also burn everything”) and dusted and then I wiped down the table and dumped all the toaster crumbs on the floor so that I would vacuum.

      Guess what I still haven’t done, 8 hours later?

      Gotta save some fun for Saturday morning, eh?

  1. Thank you as always QG but we all know this Comment Awards was all about Sally, the all-star MVP of the week.
    Spark joy, you motherfucker

  2. I’d like to thank Alice for teaching us all the unexpectedly successful pick-up line we’d never thought to try.

  3. Is there anything more affirming than winning a comment award? (No, there is not.)

    Thank you QG – for the award and more importantly for your valuable community service.

    Oh, and can I just say that my 12 yo niece wrote me a thank you card for her Christmas gift in cursive! (She’s getting so grown up. Plus I wasn’t sure they were even still teaching that)

    Plus, I gave her KaeLyn’s book on organizing for girls and she wrote that it looks very cool!!!!

    • Oh thank the lesbian jesus they’re still teaching cursive! It’s my favorite way to write (and definitely faster than printing)!

      I WANT TO READ KAELYN’S BOOK! Did you thumb through it?

      • No – they live out of state so I ordered it on Amazon and had it delivered to her.

        I had the vague thought of buying it at my local feminist bookstore and sending it myself, so I could thumb through it first. But that did not happen. (I suppose I could still buy a copy for myself at said bookstore.)

        • I read the one I gave my niece. And I wrote her a big note on the inside cover and a few little notes throughout, which was fun. She wrote me a thank-you too. Kids these days, they’re all right.

  4. That tea brag award was so well deserved.

    @iarranme was especially inspired this week…all of the NF comments were hilarious!

    Damn, you’re just all comedic gold.

    • @snaelle Awww…geee…Y’all inspire me, it’s way easier to keep going when the rest of you pile on too.

      Wow, that sounded way more suggestive than I meant, but what the hell, happy new year.

  5. QG, My Kondolences on the state of your mess.

    I can commiserate with your Rant about the Ants !
    I get ants regardless of the cleanliness of my place, except for now when it -10000 degrees outside. One of the rare perks of living in the frozen north.

    Sally’s face though, and those Perfectly. Folded. Shopping Bags !! That’s so real.

  6. Now how did I manage to miss an article about drinking “too much tea” (which I would argue is impossible; one cannot drink “too much” tea)?

  7. QG, while as always I applaud your judgement in all things commentary, I should point out that you literally demanded I post that photo.

    You best be careful, or people might suspect you are secretly pulling the strings behind all the amusing comments made across the site.

    • shhhhh it’s fine

      NORMALLY i retain ALL IMPARTIALITY but even had I not demanded that you post that photo, it is still the best photo in existence, so i had to. I HAD TO!

    • Well, collusion is very in right now. QG is just being presidential.
      Just kidding, that picture deserves to be seen and get awards. It’s just that good

  8. Guys, I do get all of the Mari Kondo love, but I‘d still rather have the Fab Five over because I need patterned shirts in my life and a new haircut,too.

        • I’m a bit distracted by two eight-year-olds having a jumping contest in the next room so my first read of that comment made me think “how on earth would you do therapy for desensitization to gay guys? Like rub them on your face in increasing doses and see if you get hives?” It only gets weirder from there.

          Now they’re pretending to be cats. (The kids. Not the hypothetical gay guys.)

    • I FEEL YOU

      Although one thing I liked about MK is that she didn’t try to solve everyone’s problems with a bunch of new expensive things?

      • I don’t do patterned shirts either…yet! I do need some style advice,though and it would probably go something like „embrace your soft butch side more, these show off your playful nature while still giving off a professional vibe.“ Or maybe I‘ll be put into colorful polo shirts.
        Maybe they‘ll stick me into a pair of skinny jeans and a blazer.
        Who knows.Life is hard as a switch.
        The last time I got gay fashion advice my bestie was yelling at me for wearing „this ratty old sweater out in public“.We were in a Mexican restaurant that was so dimly lit you couldn’t tell what the floors or food were made out of.
        Maybe I‘m just going to focus on my hair first and get that shopping bag collection sorted in the meantime.

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