Well, March is here which is good for sunshine but bad for gays because it’s the end of the season for Legends of Tomorrow and Batwoman. But don’t worry, Valerie Anne recapped Legends and Nic recapped Batwoman, and both of them were heckin’ queer. Euphoria also ended its second season, but we feel less sad about that because it was causing Drew a lot of heartache to write about it! She likes to write about what she loves! But it wasn’t all endings! Killing Eve started all over again, now with 100% more Kayla recaps! Nic reviewed The Proud Family reboot, which she loved. Riese brought news of potential gayness (but for real this time) on Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. And also Riese dropped your monthly streaming guide!
Notes from the TV Team:
+ The new season of Top Chef debuted this week and, thus far, I count two new queer cheftestants to cheer on: Ashleigh Shanti and Jo Chan. Both chefs had strong performances out of the gate…with Chan’s team winning immunity in the quickfire and Shanti having one of the best reviewed dishes in the elimination round. I’m looking forward to seeing more from them both (and, of course, of salivating over Padma and Kristen Kish for the entire season). — Natalie
+ Good Trouble returns for its fourth season next week on Freeform and, based on the trailer, it’s looking hella gay. Sumi and Alice are back together (GASP!), Malika’s still committed to pursuing her relationship with Angelica and…best of all…THE MAMAS ARE COMING BACK! — Natalie
Bel-Air 106: “The Strength to Smile”
Written by Natalie
This week, the Banks family hosts a fundraiser, in memory of their fallen friend, Gayle, to raise money for the Lupus Foundation. But as events (on television) are wont to do, everything falls apart hours before the fundraiser is supposed to start and the Banks family is left scrambling. Hilary — who, can I say, I like so much better in this iteration than the original — rolls into the kitchen ready to step in for the caterers who had to cancel and Ashley’s right there to serve as her sous chef.
Once the party gets going, Ashley introduces Hilary to her guests for the event: Romario and Lucia. Her sister doesn’t fully appreciate the significance of the moment so Ashley clears her throat as it to say, “MY CRUSH IS RIGHT THERE!” Hilary picks up what her sister is putting down and greets the guests warmly. Romario and Lucia are impressed by everything and Ashley invites them to step outside and take a look at the pool. While she has a moment, Ashley asks Hilary about what she should do now. Hilary advises her little sister to be herself and tell Lucia how she feels.
Later, the pre-teens sneak away from the fundraiser to play in the game room. After Ashley beats Romario’s high score in pinball, she asks him to get her a soda so she’ll have a little alone time with Lucia. But as Romario leaves, Lucia calls out his obvious crush on Ashley. She dismisses Romario as a dork but Lucia notes that Ashley is proof that dorks can be cute too. It’s all so cute and flirty and you can almost see Ashley’s hopes going up…until Lucia reveals that the person she’s truly crushing on is Ashley’s cousin, Will.
After the party, Hilary finds a sullen Ashley sitting alone on the steps. Ashley admits that she lied to Romario and Lucia to get them to leave, fearing that she couldn’t hold it together after hearing that Lucia didn’t return her feelings. Hilary laments that heartbreak is a part of life but celebrates Ashley’s bravery in sharing her truth and encourages her to share it with others, whenever she’s ready. The sisters share a sweet embrace to end the episode…but with Will having charmed the love interests of both Carlton and Ashley, I wonder how long things will remain sweet in the Banks household.
Oh, and a fun fact about this episode: it was directed by queer director, Aurora Guerrero (Mosquita y Mari).
The Real Dirty Dancing: “Episode 4”
Written by Sally
It’s grand finale time!
Our two remaining couples reflect on the gruelling journey they’ve been on to get here, wherein they have spent three weeks at a literal holiday park. Cat Cora, our fearless celesbian Iron Chef, ruminates on her motivations. Once more she invokes the power of her 6 (!) children and how she wants to show them it’s never too late to try something new. Sadly, she will not be getting to try anything really new this week, as instead she must revisit that Iconic Lift™ about eight thousand times!
To kick things off we’re back at the lake where, last time, things got wet in all the wrong ways for Cat. Each couple is given an unspecified number of attempts to refine their lifting technique. Cat and Corbin haven’t quite nailed it, while 8-foot tall Tyler seems to be having no trouble hoisting ex-cheerleader Anjelah aloft. It’s the first time I’m worried that Cat and Corbin’s dominance will crumble, with the finale pretty much set up as a straight fight between Corbin the Dancer vs Tyler the Guy With Massive Arms. Where does this leave the women? Mostly in the water as an afterthought, which does not make me happy!
Before we get into dress rehearsals for the final dance, the couples have one last cringey acting challenge, recreating the scene where Johnny leaves. I don’t have clear memories of this part of the movie, probably because I tended to fall asleep by this bit when watching it at the tween sleepovers of my youth. Therefore I am extra-horrified to learn that this challenge will entail Cat snogging Corbin?!! If you’re wondering why this recap is a tad late, I can confirm it was because I was drawing up a grievance suit against Heather Hogan for making me watch this. Cat says this is the first time she’s kissed a man in 35 years! I hope her fee was worth it!!
Eventually the couples are allowed to get into the dance hall to prep for the final show, and Cat and Corbin are polishing their routine. They are 98% of the way there! Unfortunately, the 2% is that pesky lift. We are reminded that for the live performance there will be no-one else to assist them, nor any crash-mats! The danger of sprained wrists is real!
Meanwhile, Tyler struggles with the basic dance steps but can do the lift seemingly without effort. I’m sure this is deeply thrilling, but I’m mostly distracted by this queer-seeming person in the dance entourage:
A coach load of Dirty Dancing super fans show up, who will form the audience that will vote on the couples’ fate. Cat is very excited to perform in front of a live audience. Her eyes light up as she talks about how she’ll feed off their energy! I’m suddenly wondering if there’s a sinister reason for the astonishing litheness of this 54 year old woman. We’ll have to wait to confirm that theory though, because Anjelah and Tyler are up first! Each couple will be performing the exact same routine to “The Time of My Life”, mimicking the finale of the film itself. It’s lengthier than anything they’ve attempted thus far, with a lot of emphasis on how well the guy dances. Tyler’s moves aren’t the sharpest but he oozes Johnny’s confidence. When it comes to the lift, it’s flawless! They are going to be incredibly tough to beat. Last to dance are Cat and Corbin. As we expected, Corbin is super slick, leaping off the stage like a true leading man. Cat is lifted down to the floor, ready for her run into the lift, and we find out whether all that foreshadowing about their lift weakness has been accurate, or merely cruel editing. They nail it!!
Cat is so pleased for Corbin! And probably for her own life. The audience votes are cast and, after requisite amount of breath holding, we have our winners: it’s Cat and Corbin! In her victory speech, Cat shouts out to all the women and moms that are her age that you can do anything! Cat’s competitive focus has enabled her, a middle-aged woman, to embody a teenage dancer pretty much seamlessly, which we can all admire even if we are a bit grouchy about the amount of comp-het that happened along the way. I’m not sure the show’s format has the mileage to go multiple seasons, but if it does return, I hope they go there with turning the gay up a notch and we can see the soft butch Johnny we all deserve!
All American 409: “Got Your Money”
Written by Natalie
With most of the All American gang moving on to college, I’ve been worried about how the show will incorporate Coop and Patience into the storylines moving forward. Since the show’s return, there’s been no mention of Patience’s album or a tour or music at all, TBH. And since she recovered from the shooting, Coop’s been aimless: focusing all her energy on Preach and Amina, rather than figuring out what’s next now for her that music isn’t an option. How do they fit in the story All American wants to tell? This week, we got a small peek into what that might look like.
For the last two weeks, Coop’s been searching for her own apartment — to escape her mother’s prying eyes — but so far she’s had no luck. She can’t figure out what’s hampering her more: her race, her sexuality or the fact that she’s broke. Patience can’t do anything about two of those reasons but offers to ease her money troubles by becoming Coop’s new roommate. This feels like a mistake given the tension that’s existed between the two this season but at least it’s a storyline, right?
Their search doesn’t yield immediate results but Patience stumbles across an online listing for a shared apartment within their budget. In a rush to seize on a place that finally works for them, Patience and Coop immediately put down a deposit and sign a yearlong lease, sight unseen. It goes exactly as well as you think it would. When the two arrive at the apartment, they discover that the pictures that appeared to be the apartment’s view were literally just pictures hanging up in the apartment. The shared space is literally that…a shared studio apartment with another couple. They try to back out of the deal but the landlord reminds them that they signed a lease. Tired of being under her mother’s thumb, Coop urges Patience to give the space a chance. That optimism doesn’t last long. That night, Patience and Coop are kept awake by their roommates’ fighting and then by their roommates’ making up.
The next morning, they head over to the Bakers, hoping to solicit some legal advice from Laura. But another Baker woman comes to their aid: Olivia convinces the landlord to sit down for an interview and threatens to expose him for catfishing prospective tenants. He reasserts that the tenants have signed legally binding leases but then Olivia pulls out her receipts, as if to say, “ask about me!” She gets the couple out of their lease and invites them to spend the summer living with her and Layla at the Baker house.
NCIS: Hawai’i 114: “Broken”
Written by Natalie
If I’m being honest, “Broken” have been my favorite episode of NCIS: Hawai’i to date. It had a compelling investigation as its case of the week involving the weaponization of sound waves (okay, maybe that’s just compelling to me). It had Vanessa Lachey deliver her best performance as Jane Tennant to date, as she faced questioning about the possible leak of classified information to a former friend. And, of course, it had Lucy and Kate…desperately trying (and failing) to adjust to this new normal.
While Lucy works the case, Kate’s securing her credentials for her new job as an FBI special agent. She lingers around the FBI building, coffee in-hand, to see Tennant before she goes into her hearing. Jane congratulates Kate on the new gig and hopes that her new job doesn’t mean that she’ll work less with the team. Kate passes off the coffee and gives Jane the scoop on Glen Smith, the man leading her hearing. She reminds Jane not to let him make her doubt herself. She advises, “don’t forget who you really are.”
Back at HQ, Ernie wonders why he hasn’t see “the tall one” around acting all goofy in love and Lucy admits that she and Kate are done. Lucy explains that they weren’t together that long so she’s hoping that she can just get over it easily but it’s clear that getting over Whistler is easier said than done. And it doesn’t get easier: later, the pair crosses paths and it doesn’t take long for them to settle into their previous rapport — Kate’s awkwardness, Lucy’s humor and both of their bright smiles — and it’s just too soon for Lucy. She tries to escape the conversation but Kate tries to lure her back with more adorably awkward banter. Lucy asks Kate what she’s doing and Kate admits that things feel unresolved. Lucy assures her that they’re good.
“It doesn’t feel good,” Kate responds. And Lucy knows that but she can’t…not yet…and rushes off, even as Kate tries to call her back.
Later, Kate tries again, showing up in the bullpen, looking for an update on Tennant’s hearing and hoping to talk to Lucy. She misses Jane and Lucy ran away when she saw Whistler coming. Lucy hides out in Ernie’s office and he clocks exactly why she’s here: it still hurts too much for her to be in the same space as Whistler. Back upstairs, Kate looks heartbroken but instead of retreating home, she heads to Tennant’s to commiserate over the tough days they’d both had. I am absolutely 100% here for the burgeoning friendship between these two…Kate needs someone to talk to. They both toast to a better tomorrow.
A Million Little Things 410: “Surprise”
Written by Natalie
A Million Little Things picks up this week, a few days after the last episode…but Katherine Saville is still where we left her: in the arms of her former high school bestie/crush, Greta. They’ve been spending a lot of time together but now Katherine has to rush out and pick up a gift for Maggie’s 30th birthday party. She tentatively invites Greta to come along — torn between very much wanting Greta to meet her friends and being cognizant that hitting the “meet the friends” stage already isn’t exactly “taking things slow” — but Greta wants to meet her friends but thinks now’s not a good time. Perplexed by the response, Katherine asks Greta why now and Greta drops the bomb: she’s married.
(How did that not turn up in one of Carter’s Google searches?!)
Hearing that the person you’ve been sleeping with is married to someone else and didn’t bother to tell you is going to be difficult for anybody but it’s a special layer of hell for Katherine Saville whose first marriage ended, in part, because her husband cheated on her. Katherine is incensed and doesn’t wait for Greta’s explanation. She leaves and collapses against elevator door in tears.
Things go from bad to worse at Maggie’s party. It’s always a bit awkward to meet your ex’s new girlfriend — as Katherine does when she unwittingly interacts with Eddie’s new girlfriend, Anna — but to meet them when all the pain of that relationship have been brought to the fore…whew! Katherine feigns an interest in getting more carrots to eat and quickly makes her exit. Later Eddie catches up to Katherine and apologizes for not giving her the heads up. She confesses that she’s not upset about Eddie dating again, she’s upset that the person she was dating is married. She avoids using pronouns in the conversation and doesn’t correct Eddie when he uses “he”…which makes me wonder how ready Katherine really was to have Greta around her friends.
Eddie wants to say that there’s nothing a cheater can say to justify what they’ve done but he encourages Katherine to wait and see if there’s more to the story. Their marriage was in a bad place when he cheated, even if neither he nor Katherine wanted to admit it at the time, and Eddie wonders if something similar isn’t happening with Katherine’s new beaux. Eddie’s words are enough to push Katherine to pick up Greta’s call and hear her own. She explains that she and her wife, Julia, have been separated for three months and are looking to make it permanent.
“I should’ve told you,” Greta admits. “I think part of me thought this would just be a fling with, you know, somebody I’ve had a crush on since I was in high school. But after spending time with you, all I want is to see you again.”
Katherine confesses that she really wants to see Greta again too and, lucky for her, Greta’s there…hiding out in the coat room. Katherine rushes over to her and they make up after their first fight. Unbeknownst to Katherine, Eddie — fresh off a break-up with Anna — spots her and Greta making out, much to his dismay.
Legacies 411: “Follow the Sound of My Voice”
Written by Valerie Anne
This week starts with Cleo filling Finch in on the chaos she missed because people keep forgetting to loop her in, and before she’s even fully caught up, more chaos ensues because the old headmaster steps down with a flourish thanks to some truth weed in the water.
The truth weed sends the students into a mob-like panic, but then a voice quiets them down; it’s Eve Bloom…except it’s definitely actually Aurora. Who is surely up to no good.
“Eve” starts interviewing students and Finch tells Cleo she thinks it’s weird that all the new headmaster asked about was the old red oak tree. Finch thought she should tell “an actual squad member” which broke my whole heart. Cleo confronts Aurora who admits she wants to kill the tribrid, and decides to steal Cleo’s inspiration to do so.
Finch runs into Ben and realizes Jed abandoned him to go hide, and Jed says being around Ben makes him nervous. He’s afraid of saying the wrong thing, but he doesn’t know why. Eventually, after Aurora tortures information about how to kill a tribrid from Ben, Jed realizes that what he’s experiencing is A Gay Awakening. After admitting that the feelings SHE was avoiding was the fact that she was feeling left out without Josie to be her bridge to the squad, so they decide to look out for each other. Jed will be Finch’s buddy and Finch will be Jed’s gay mentor.
While all this is going down at the school, Hope is training Lizzie and her new Heretic powers at a carnival when they discover a mystery afoot with a missing sister. At first Hope doesn’t want to waste their time with it, and says Lizzie is too emotional to actually be her partner, but then she runs into a carnie vamp and decapitates him with her mind and decides maybe there’s fun to be had here yet. Also, she heard Lizzie calling to her for help after she got Dextered into a cage and Hope’s humanity switch seems to be less of an on/off situation and more like a dimmer switch and the longer she spends with Lizzie the brighter her eyes become. Together, they kill every last carnie vamp and send the little girl back to her parents. Lizzie tells her that she’ll miss her sister forever, but she’ll always be with her, and it will make her brave.
As they leave, Lizzie tells Hope that actually she doesn’t want Hope to sever the sire bond after they kill Aurora; she’s not ready to face this world alone.
The episode leaves us with two interesting things to think about at the end of the episode: Ethan’s sister Maya aka Finch’s ex tells the boys to tell Finch “hey or whatever” if they run into her, so we might be getting a new love interest for Finch soon enough. Also…gods are coming! Hold onto your butts!