Well here we come to March, a key time for all of us to stare at our television and say “where are the gay things? If I turn on Netflix, what will I find there? Or Amazon?!?!?!! Or HULU!?!?! What about HBO Max?? I am here to tell you!

Unfortunately the answer is NOT MUCH. I have never spent as much time on a monthly streaming guide as I did this month, because when there’s nothing really big or fun to announce I have to do 10x more research into the “maybes” in hopes of a verified gay.

It seems that the entirety of this year is devoted to biopics based on podcasts or documentaries or articles we saw or watched or read between 2018-2020, usually about business people who rose quickly to the top based on a collection of lies, and because nobody wants to give a lesbians billions of dollars for an imaginary music festival or blood machine or social art foundation club or high-concept communal workspace or ride-sharing app, we rarely find ourselves as the epicenter of these stories! Sad! However if anybody wants to read a great novel based on a true story about a lesbian con artist then great news I finally finished my first draft.

So, shall we proceed towards yet another month of grasping for the smallest straws??!!!

*means that I’m not sure if there will be any queer content in this but it seems like there could be

Netflix Content for Gals, Gays and Theys in March 2022

V for Vendetta (2005) – March 1

If you’re a regular reader of this column, you know that V for Vendetta is a film that hops from service to service every month, withdrawing its services and then re-instating them with alarming regularity. As discussed previously, V for Vendetta is a dystopian political action film from the Wachowskis starring Natalie Portman.

Good Girls: Season 4 – March 7

Season Four of this show about Moms who steal and launder money literally!

Queer Eye Germany: Season 1 – March 9

The first international spin-off of the Queer Eye franchise will see “five local experts steering the lives of their protégés in a positive direction with their knowledge, empathy and, above all, confident queer energy.” Life Coach and former Club Kid Leni Bolt (she/they), will be the queer eye with “Life” Expertise and is described as “an expert for time management & mindfulness in all aspects of everyday life, a work/life coach, podcast host and hippie at heart with one mission: to change negative perspectives and help people become happy.”

The Andy Warhol Diaries: Six-Part Series – March 9

Ryan Murphy’s new project is telling Warhol’s story in his own words, putting one of Warhol’s own dreams into action by using A.I technology to provide Warhol’s narration of his published diaries in something close to his own voice. The six-part series will follow Warhol from his childhood to the ’60s Factory days to his friendship with Basquiat in the ’80s.

DC’s Legends of Tomorrow: Season 7 – March 10

The seventh season of Legends of Tomorrow has newlyweds Ava and Sara leading their team and fighting side by side as they get stuck in the 20s and have to find their way back home; co-captains for life. Plus, one of the Legends comes out as the first asexual character in the Beeboverse!

Human Resources: Season One – March 18

From the creators of Big Mouth comes Human Resources, which promises to be “even edgier and adult-ier” with its focus on the full-time lives of the creatures — Hormone Monsters, Depression Kitties, Shame Wizards and more — that assist human beings on their fascinating journey from puberty to parenthood to getting very old.

The Principles of Pleasure: Season One – March 22

A docuseries that combines sex, joy and modern science to celebrate the complicated universe of WOMEN’S PLEASURE, putting old-fashioned myths to rest. So there will be queer women all over this obviously.

Casual: Seasons 1-4: March 31st

Smart, irreverent Hulu family comedy Casual centers on Valerie (Michaela Watkins), who, along with her daughter Laura (Tara Lynne Barr), moves in with her dating-app-founder brother Alex (Tommy Dewey) after her divorce. In Season One, Alex dates a poly bisexual woman named Emmy, and in Season Two, Laura has a thing with a female friend — and continues leading a bisexual life in ensuing seasons!

Gay Content on Amazon Prime Video for March 2022

The Boys Present: Diabolical: Season One 

A series of short-form cartoons based on the characters from Amazon’s The Boys, which is beloved for its bisexual Queen Maeve. There’s not much queer stuff in these teeny little episodes but you know, it exists!

Lizzo’s Watch Out For The Big Grrrls: Season One – March 25

Lizzo’s competition series sees oft-overlooked dancers living in a house together and competing challenges to earn the honor of dancing with Lizzo at Bonnaroo. “There’s one glaring difference between “Watch Out for the Big Grrrls” and those other competition shows, however,” writes Variety. “Lizzo doesn’t harshly criticize the contestants, and she doesn’t always eliminate someone at the end of each episode. She wants “Watch Out for the Big Grrrls” to be a place of positivity — a rarity in reality TV.” According to Into, “Besides the unlabeled but openly queer star singer, the show features both men and women and may very well include LGBTQ dancers in the competition.”

Hulu LGBTQ+ Content for March 2022

The Dropout: Limited Series Premiere – March 3

This highly anticipated biopic about blood-drop scammer Elizabeth Holmes will include a trans lesbian character, Ann Arriola, played by queer trans actress Nicky Endres.

Fresh (2022) – March 4

This edgy horror film about the expected and very unexpected perils of heterosexual dating includes lesbian Twenties‘ star Jonica T Gibbs as the queer best friend of the film’s lead Noa, who finds the perfect man has one very problematic quirk.

Bendetta (2021) – March 4

Based on the life of Benedetta Carlini, a 17th century lesbian nun and mystic, Bendetta has generated controversy for nun content that includes “gentle goodnight kisses, boobs groped through sheer curtains, some vague fingering and grinding, and yes, as promised, a dildo made out of a Virgin Mary statue.”

Pose: Season Three (FX) – March 7

Hulu has finally secured the rights to Pose! And Season Three will land into our lives on March 7th, along with all the American Crime Story properties from the Ryan Murphy catalog.

The Thing About Pam* (NBC): Series Premiere – March 9

This series starring Renee Zellweger as Pam Hupp is based on a true crime case that is very familiar to me because Pam Hupp alleged that she was having a lesbian affair with Betsy Faria, who she definitely murdered but somehow got Betsy’s husband imprisoned for.

Good Trouble: Season 4A Premiere (Freeform) – March 10

Season Four returns with Alice on the road, leaving Sumi behind to manage the property and Malika preparing to introduce her partners Angelica and Dyonte to each other but getting caught off guard by a surprise visit from her ex.

Charmed: Season Four Premiere (The CW) – March 12

Mel and Maggie are learning to navigate life without Macy and for Mel, this means distracting herself with new flings! Austrailan actress Lucy Barrett (perhaps known to you as Aisha Dee’s girlfriend) will be joining the cast as Kaela Danso, the new Charmed One taking Macy’s place. She’s descrieb

Claws (TNT): Season 4 – March 14

In the final season of this show starring Niecy Nash as a nail salon owner working her way up into a full-blown criminal enterprise, Quiet Ann is looking to get the F out of Palmetto, Florida.

Welcome to Flatch* (Fox) Series Premiere – March 17th

This new sitcom following a documentary crew “exploring the lives of residents in a small American town” full of “eccentric personalities.” There will be a bisexual! Murray Hill also shot an episode for the series. The series will be shared between Fox and Hulu.

Life & Beth*: Season One – March 18

Murray Hill appears as Amy’s “eccentric boss” in three episodes (and there’s also a woman cast as his partner according to IMBD), but Hill told Metro Weekly that it’s not like the character is “a trans character” or a “drag character” but “just Murray.” Not sure what that means but I feel like somebody else should be gay on this show, like she has three female best friends and that’s just math I think?

The Girl From Plainville*: Limited Series Premiere – March 29th

Elle Fanning stars as Michelle Carter, the woman at the center of the “texting suicide case” who, in a very controversial ruling, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for texts she sent her internet boyfriend encouraging him to commit suicide. The HBO documentary I Love You Now Die: The Commonwealth Vs. Michelle Carter explains the (very complicated!) case in more detail, and also delves into Carter’s bisexuality and her formative relationship with a close friend, Alice. I’m not sure if this element of her personhood will be covered in this series but we’ll see!

Queer Shows and Films Joining HBO Max in March 2022

There is a LOT of new stuff coming out on HBO and HBO Max this month but the later-in-the-month titles don’t have a ton of info available about them!

Our Flag Means Death: Season One – March 3rd

This pirate-related comedy has two promising items for us here: non-binary actor and friend of Autostraddle Vico Ortiz is in it and has described it as ” A dream role and story line that I honestly cannot wait to show y’all.” Also, Leslie Jones is dressed in male pirate garb in some promotional photos.

Phoenix Rising (2022) – March 15

Bisexual actress Evan Rachel Wood is the focus of Amy Berg’s two-part documentary on Wood’s mission to pursue justice, heal generational wounds and reclaim her story as a survivor as she lobbies for “The Phoenix Act,” which extends the statute of limitations for domestic violence cases in California. Wood focuses her personal story on her relationship with Marilyn Manson, who was 37 when he began dating then-18-year-old Wood.

DMZ: Limited Series* – March 17

Ava DuVernay’s adaptation of the DC Comics Series features a powerhouse cast of women including queer actress Rutina Wesley, and the plot of this dystopian series that sees America amid a civil war does contain an “all-women commune,” so IDK, I feel like something gay has to happen.

Lust: Season One Premiere – March 18

HBO Max acquired this Swedish comedy about the sex lives of four middle-aged women in Stockholm, one of whom is conducting a nationwide survey to “make Sweden sexy again.” They begin questioning the decadence of sin while dealing with “the mundane realities of Thursday sex, careers, kids, marriage, divorce and the never-ending struggle to stay young, fit and sexy.” It appears that these four central women are unfortunately heterosexual, but there’s some queer stuff in the trailer (including someone checking off “homosexual” on a survey form and a teenager asking their parents if they know what “pansexual” means and also a clear lesbian in a beanie). As usual, if all four women in a series about exploring their sexuality do not hook up with other women I will be SKEPTICAL.

Degrassi: The Next Generation (2001 – 2015) – March 25

If you’ve been eager to relive the magic and the mystery of Palex (By which I mean PAIGE AND ALEX, the original Palex, not Piper and Alex), HBO Max has great news for you!!!

Queen Stars: Season One Premiere – March 24th

A new drag queen reality show hosted by singers Pabllo Vittar and Luisa Sonza.

Peacock’s New LGBTQ+ Stories for March 2022

Fried Green Tomatoes (1991) – March 1

Based on the Fannie Flagg best-seller and de-gayed for mainstream audiences, this beloved film traces the very close personal friendship between free-spirited tomboy Idgie and troubled housewife Ruth in 1920s Alabama.

Joe vs. Carole: Limited Series – March 3

Another hotly anticipated biopic stars our beloved Kate McKinnon as tiger rights crusader Carole Baskin, who is bisexual although it’s unclear if the series will have any reason to explore that particular fact. John Cameron Mitchell is undoubtedly going to be a real delight as the Tiger King!

Bust Down: Season One – March 10

Four casino employees in Gary, Indiana who are completely unsatisfied with their lives find joy in their friendship in this show the creators describe as not about “warming hearts or giving voice to the voiceless” but rather “about finding comedy in the unimportant.” Based on hyperbolic versions of how they see each other, Sam Jay (who plays a stud lesbian who works as a cook at the casino), Chris Redd, Langston Kerman and Jak Knight wanted to “make a show about nonsense the same way white people have been doing forever.”

Paramount+ Feeling LGBTQ+ In March 2022

Star Trek: Picard – Season Two Premiere – March 3

Raffi and Seven’s relationship began at the end of Season One, and now we return after a bit of time to find them trying long-distance with Seven fighting pirates with the rangers and Raffi teaching at the Starfleet Academy — “it’s definitely not a white picket fence and a fairy tale,” Raffi says of their relationship in Season Two.

More Than This: Season One – March 4 – ONLY IN AUSTRALIA

I got so excited about this show and then realized it’s coming to Paramount Plus Australia and not the U.S. But I am going to tell you about this anyway. This series comes from co-creators 19-year-old actor/filmmaker Olivia Deeble and 18-year-old non-binary actor/filmmaker Luka Gracie and tells the “real, authentic and often raw story of five 17-year-old students and their teacher whose diverse worlds collide when they are thrown together into a Year 12 English class.” Gracie plays newly-out non-binary student Jamie, and queer actress Selena Brincat plays Zali, who is “cracking under pressure from teachers, her strict father, her jealous girlfriend Emma and her own need for control.”

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