Zero Percent Of Kids With Lesbian Parents Report Abuse, Gay Moms FTW


Zero per cent of families with lesbian parents report incidents of physical or sexual abuse, according to the recently released results of the 24-year-long USA National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study.

The study, which follows planned lesbian families with children conceived by donor insemination in the 1980s, asked 78 adolescents whether they had ever been abused and (if so) the type of abuse, what they identified as their sexual orientation, and about their sexual history.

There were no reports of sexual or physical violence by a parent or other caregiver, and only one report of verbal abuse. In contrast, 26 per cent of American adolescents report parent or caregiver physical abuse and 8.3 per cent report sexual abuse. According to the authors of the study,

A key finding in the current study was that none of the NLLFS adolescents reported physical or sexual abuse by a parent or other caregiver. This finding contradicts the notion, offered in opposition to parenting by gay and lesbian people, that same-sex parents are likely to abuse their offspring sexually.

It’s possible to argue that this is too small a sample size to be meaningful; it’s also possible to argue that rates of child abuse and child sexual abuse are out of control, and that it’s statistically pretty unlikely to find any group of 78 children in America where not one has ever been abused.

The NLLFS also looked at the sexual orientation of the adolescents in question and found that while zero per cent of the girls and 5.4 per cent of the boys rated themselves as predominantly-to-exclusively gay on the Kinsey scale, 18.9 per cent of the girls and 2.7 per cent of the boys fell into the bisexual spectrum. Additionally, girls were more likely to have engaged in same-sex behaviour, regardless of their reported orientation, than girls without lesbian parents. (@feministing)


A gay couple in Texas got married over Skype and became the first couple to be married over the Internet. There is, of course, a YouTube video (below).

Mark Reed and Dante Karl flew to Washington, D.C. for a marriage license and then returned to Texas, where they were married by an officiant over Skype. In an interview with the Dallas Voice, Reed said, “The reason we wanted to do it this way is because we wanted to have a wedding here in Dallas with our family and friends. It was very important that all of our family came. It was the first time they actually met, even though we’ve been together 10 years. If we had to go to D.C., there’s no way we could have had the people there who we wanted to be there.” (@dallasvoice)


Remembrance Day (Canada) and Veteran’s Day (US) were yesterday. Did you wear a poppy? You should have. In an article in the Huffington Post, Dan Choi writes,

“Since joining the ranks of gay veterans, I have publicly called this war a battle for equality, integrity, and many other powerful platitudes that resonate well throughout the airspace of a media war-zone. But at the heart of my struggle to end unjust discrimination in the military, these bold moral principles become mere words; the motivation to keep fighting in this war resembles the motivation we realized in Iraq. We did not fight for apple pie, the Constitution, or purple mountains’ majesty. We fought for each other.

As we fight to repeal “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” we know that this fight can easily be more painful than physical combat, as the people we fought to protect subject us to the harsh bigotry of popularity polls and the soft bigotry of political inaction. […] The only treatment that can heal the wounds of betrayal and hatred is a recommitment to fight for each other, to stand up for each other, to love one another.”


Remember that time Autostraddle told you how to make gay friends and meet girls? It’s still International Meet an Autostraddler Week and you can still meet queer girls and talk about Tegan and Sara and Bruce Springsteen and a poetry reading that’s happening tomorrow and when you started reading Autostraddle and how everything is less awkward and way more awesome than you thought it’d be. Even if you think you’re awkward in public. Especially if you think you’re awkward in public. Everyone you’re meeting? They’re from the Internet too! Seriously, go. Rachel did last night and so did Laneia I think and they both give it two thumbs up.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Ryan Yates

Ryan Yates was the NSFW Editor (2013–2018) and Literary Editor for, with bylines in Nylon, Refinery29, The Toast, Bitch, The Daily Beast, Jezebel, and elsewhere. They live in Los Angeles and also on twitter and instagram.

Ryan has written 1142 articles for us.


  1. our Chicago Autostraddle meetup was very fun and only slightly awkward, although I drank too much and regretted it at 8 am the next morning in class

    • Yep, the Chicagostraddle meet-up was definitely fun. Autostraddle readers are, as I presumed, lovely and friendly.

    • I loved all the meet-ups! Best birthday I’ve had in a long time. Can’t wait to hang out again/meet more of you Chicagostraddlers. :)

  2. while I think this study is promising etc, they probably should have found 78 heterosexual families who also used artificial insemination around the same time period to use as a comparison group. because they’re comparing 78 wanted/planned for/cared about children with all of America, where accidental babies happen that can’t be/aren’t cared about enough. also you sort of have to be of a certain SES group to be able to afford artificial insemination and a lot of factors having to do with lower SES can lead to higher rates of abuse.

    also the 0% gay vs. almost 20% bisexual girls seems strange. i don’t know how to explain that. anyone? is it that lesbian parents are more likely encourage the view that everyone is at least a little bit bisexual?

    • I was just about to say the same thing about the planned families potentially being less likely to commit abuse. But still, this study is great – whether it is having planned families or something else about our homogay awesomeness it is a really great way to rebut many of the objections to ivf and adoption for same sex couples.

  3. I was unable to meet with anyone, but according to melissa autostraddle readers are all adorable . Maybe next year I’ll get to meet up and have my pants charmed off.

  4. i don’t really buy it.

    i know at least three examples just of people i know personally who have lesbian moms who have been or are physically abusive. i know WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT IT because then the straight people will take away our children and they already think we’re all evil bad satanists, but i feel like this information is hardly scientifically relevant and a bit sensationalized.

    • I agree. We need to be careful not to assert gay exceptionalism, for doing so erases the the multiplicity of experiences within the LGBT community and encourages more silence, shame, and invisibility. This problem is particularly apparent in regards to domestic violence within same-sex relationships. Statistics have shown that gay men and women are just as likely to behave violently toward their partners as their straight counterparts, yet our defensive attitude (in response to the antigay movement) asserting that we’re naturally superior to heterosexuals leads to further difficulty/stigma for those LGBT folks seeking support/services for domestic abuse.

      • According to the most recent statistics i’ve seen, “about 17-45%” of lesbians report having been the victim of a least one act of physical violence perpetrated by a lesbian partner, as opposed to 25% of heterosexual women — and that’s not taking into account all the lesbians who wouldn’t self-report for those aforementioned reasons. Granted, there’s a big gap between “17” and “45” but just as I said about the parental situation I know from my own life and people I know — gay and straight– that it’s likely a bit more than 17%.

        But society writes it off because if it’s a girl attacking a girl, nbd, right? Police officers, doctors, everyone. And I agree that saying we’re superior to heterosexuals in how we handle our relationships leads to further difficulty/stigma for those LGBT folks seeking support/services for domestic abuse.

        It’s possible that fear of social stigma may have even influenced the results of this study, you know?

        Anyhow. Is it against the rules to talk about this

        • It wouldn’t be “against the rules” if people would understand that violence is not a question of biological sex, but of gender. That is, it is the perpetuation of a culture of domination, of power, i.e. the maschilist culture. You can find unbalanced relationships both in straight couples and gay couples, because being queer does not automatically make a person more open-minded or conscious (unfortunately).
          The rate of violence is about 25 to 30% in both same-sex and different-sex couples. The same in Africa and Europe. The same amongst working-class and high-class statuses. Read this report by the UNICEF: and this regarding violence in same-sex couples:

    • I’m also a bit skeptical about this. It’s not like LGBT = unicorns and as much as I’d like to think we’re great and all that, I’m not comfortable with gender or sexual orientation stereotypes. I don’t think men or women are than different, or couples, for that matter.

    • I recently came across these articles saying lesbians dont abuse children, and I can tell you it hurts to read this, as it is definately not true. I am in no way a gay basher or lesbian hater, I think people should be happy in life.sexually and otherwise
      I also think no child should be abused by any parent, period

      . I was thoroughly abused by my lesbian mother , and several of her lesbian friends over the course of several years. I would say one fifth of her lesbian mates were abusive towards me, and there are several police reports to prove this.
      you cannot classify the whole group of lesbian parents to have there hands clean of abuse like this, its wrong to say it.
      I highly doubt that all lesbians are abusive either. but I can say from experience that they are not all innocent

      Pauline Wilson, who lives at 434 Maple street Sudbury Ontario Canada is an angry, and violent lesbian. she likes to abuse little boys while she screams about why she hates men. It was mostly she who Physically, violently, sexually, and emotionally abused me severely for several years, Until I had to emancipate myself at the age of 12. she used to beat me alot, and at one point she even threatened to cut off my penis, she picked me up and threw me against the wall,now I have back problems. she would scream and scream for hours. Her and my mother, used to claim that all men are the same, they only want on thing, etc. My mother used to ignore my cries for help, letting Pauline do whatever she wanted to me.and when i was much younger, before Pauline, My mother duct taped me to the bed and I couldnt move until the police arrived.
      My mothers name is Sophie Mathild Baker and she also resides in sudbury ontario

      • Ben, I am so sorry to hear about your abuse at the hands of your lesbian mother.

        I also was abused by my mother, physically and sexually, who also abused my father. Women just get away with abuse. And then they write articles about how wonderful they are.

        Hang in there, my friend. God bless you. And may God have mercy on the mother who hurt you so badly.

  5. i guess they never met helena peabody, she dumped her kids in season 4 and never looked back…

  6. Why can’t you guys do anythign fun in December? That’s when I get back, and think of all the cuddling that could be done. ;-; *needs a huggle*

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