The Non-Comment Non-Awards (It’s Still Friday Though Don’t Worry)

Hi. Did you have a week. I mean, did you have a week or what. We here at Autostraddle definitely had one of those weeks that may have actually only been a few days but felt like infinity. Did you read any poetry while we were gone?

So maybe I’m supposed to hand out awards now or something.


I will be distributing the awards in no particular order and I will be hand delivering them personally to your place of residence. Sometimes I like to switch it up. Also because this week was weird and I feel like this:

Okay first here’s an award to FDR because she’s in love and this is perfect and wonderful and we totally forgive you.

Here’s an award for bani because she said “Harry Potter”.

This award is for Paper, what a weirdo. We love you too.

I am giving this award to AG because she said “puberty shore” and because her picture is of a shark.

This award goes to moose’s mother because, like, come on. lol.

InTheJunkDrawer wins this award because GIRL I FEEL YA


Thank you that’s all for today come back next week for our regular scheduled programming.

Photography © jmberman1 2009

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Emily Choo started as an intern with Autostraddle when she was 18 years old. She's now 10 years older and lives in Toronto with her partner and cat. The defining moment of her career was when Riese said this about her: " I think Emily Choo is a very bright, 'poetically inclined' girl who pays attention to everything and knows almost everything (the point of stuff, how to read, how beautiful things feel, how scary things feel, etc.) but doesn't believe/accept/realize yet that she knows almost everything." She still doesn't believe she knows anything, so, thank you, Riese, for that.

Emily has written 100 articles for us.


        • man im so pissed i missed the meetup tonight!!1111 i had dinner and drinks with my friends with the intent of hanging out with everyone after, and apparently mixing the two makes me get super nauseous as of two weeks ago, so i had to bail :(

          CAN WE HAS MORE SOON????? (also i feel like this is the appropriate place mehbeh)

  1. I think Emily’s comment is probably my fave. I think I’ve watched the BTW video about six times so far, just trying to figure out the narrative. And why everyone is suddenly using unicorns in music videos?

    Oh my gosh I cannot get over the whiskey kitty. That is how I feel ALL THE TIME. Especially now, since I’ve been attempting to moderate a horrible, pestilential comment thread at my college’s student newspaper for the past 24 hours.


    • This. The whisky kitty is now my desktop because it is my life exactly.

      Also my girlfriend’s cat actually does this with the faucet and we have been confused about her obsession with the dripping water, but now it makes sense.


      • Ha! My cousin’s cat loves to sleep in the bathroom sink. He’s enormous but he’s completely white, so if you’re not paying attention you don’t notice him until you go to wash your hands, and then you’re all “WHAT THE CRAP” and he just looks at you. Because he’s deaf as a post.

        He’s my favorite cat ever, basically.

        (there are so many ways of spelling whiskey: one of them is DELICIOUS)

  2. I’m going to go watch “it gets better” videos on YouTube, because I’m sad that I never get awarded.

  3. I figured it would be impossible to mention Canada and HP and not be on this page somewhere.

  4. omg you guys i just realized that AG is ALREADY READY FOR SHARK WEEK i mean just look at her. free pass to dinah for her

    • Yay! Does this mean I also get to drink, even though I think most alcohol (at least the stuff I’ve been allowed to taste) tastes like my dogs farts? Except white win that had been left in the fridge for a week. That was pretty good.

  5. ^My mom was reading over my shoulder while I read this. There wasn’t anything inappropriate, so I figured I’d just let her read….

    “Why are there naked people in the ads?”
    “They’re not naked. Their lady parts are covered. Its a calender.”
    “One person in those ads is wearing clothes. That qualifies naked”
    *mom walks away*
    “BUT LOOK! There’s a picture of a cute kitten!”

    …I am no longer reading autostraddle from anywhere but my laptop and blackberry.

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