Hi kittens! What if it were already winter we got to wear scarves and go ice-skating and sip warm drinks? What if that?
This week, Katrinaย took us to gym class!
Stephanie and her friends reenacted The L Word – or at leastย the part that happened at The Planet. No word on the crying, drinking, fighting…well. No word on the rest of it.
Noraย wants your best fall looks!
Breaking up is hard to do, but Molly’s here for youย with this playlist.
Carmen wants you to watchย Star, a show starring noted heterosexual Queen Latifah.
Heather’s gotย a review of the Billie Jean King biopic,ย Battle of the Sexes!
And then there were your comments.
Onย Grease Bats: Family:
The Know Her, Do Her, Be Her Award to Alaina and Al:
Onย I Made All My Friends Reenact The Planet From โThe L Wordโ for a Week and Now Everyone Hates Me:
The Very Shane Today Award to Frankie:
And the OurChart Award to Rous Rose:
Onย No Filter: Bella Thorne Wins the Thirst Games:
The Team Ortberg Award to Carmen SanDiego, donnamartingraduates, and Kiki:
Onย Pop Culture Fix: โPretty Little Liarsโ Is Spinning Off With Ali and Mona:
The Immortality, My Darlings Award to Katie:
And the Never Trust a -Lene Award to Frankie:
And onย โBattle of the Sexesโ Is a Triumph for Sports Movies and Lesbians:
The Harold And The Purple Racquet Award to Meg:
See a funny or amazing comment that needs to be here? E-mail me at queergirlblogs [at] gmail [dot] com!
-ie 2, -lene 0
Brilliant observation, as usual
Thanks! You could say Ilene towards team -ie.
I’m chaiken to the core.
Comment award within the comment awards.
Katie and Frankie, I salute you. Very strong showings
Frankie! Where have you been all my life?
“Never Trust a -Lene” was the highlight of the week
Re: Mallory Ortberg. I honestly have no idea who she is other than a point of obsession for Autostraddle members.
……I await my forced removal from Autostraddle for my ignorance……
I know who she is but… meh
I guess we can go to exile island together.
Oh good, at least I’ll have a friend!
Can I be Wilson?
As long as you actually talk back, sure.
Oh boy, do I talk back!
You can ask my parents about that. They’ll tell you…
Hahahahaha perfect! There will never be a dull moment in our exile. People will be jealous.
I have no idea who she is either, can I join you in exile? I’ll bring kitties!
You don’t have to be exiled, but we will make you sit in a corner and read The Toast until you capitulate
At least I vaguely know what The Toast is. I hope I get some points back for that.
There’s a lot of great content at the Toast for nerds, queerdos, and library-folk. The Toast and Autostraddle are quite complementary; I know that people always compare AfterEllen to AS, but I have an easier time picturing AS writers writing for the Toast even though it wasn’t a queer/trans-only space. If you haven’t checked it out, take a tour and start with this:
http://the-toast.net/2014/07/15/kristen-stewart-video-though/
^ this article includes my favourite words ever written about our dear Shane 2.0.: โWhy doesnโt Kristen Stewart smile more?โ what have you ever done in your miserable, craven waste of an existence, you useless and unlovely sack of air, to make her smile, is the real question”
Other hits worth checking out:
http://the-toast.net/2016/04/18/paintings-that-could-easily-double-as-covers-for-charming-ya-lesbian-romance-novels/
http://the-toast.net/2016/04/20/paintings-of-sappho-in-order-of-how-bummed-out-she-looks/
http://the-toast.net/2015/12/28/lesbian-remakes-this-broken-sorrowing-world-needs-immediately/
http://the-toast.net/2015/11/18/queer-girl-pick-up-strategies-haiku/
http://the-toast.net/2015/09/16/a-tegan-and-sara-album-in-which-there-are-no-voyeuristic-tendencies-or-lesbian-feelings/
http://the-toast.net/2015/06/05/the-l-word-fixed/
Also, our resident vodka water bartender Mey guest starred in an article over there: http://the-toast.net/2016/01/12/transmisogyny-and-disc-golfing-round-table-a-chat-with-mey-rude-brook-shelley-frances-lee-and-gabby-bellot/
Mallory Ortberg is the love of my life, obviously.
She’s the co-founder of The Toast, author of Texts from Jane Eyre, and KStew fan. Her writing’s a bit hit or miss for me but I did love The Toast.
Here’s a tiny sampler of her Toast writing, which was mostly humorous / satirical (it’s totally not for everyone, but for the people who love it, it is everything).
http://the-toast.net/2016/04/20/paintings-of-sappho-in-order-of-how-bummed-out-she-looks/
http://the-toast.net/2015/02/05/kristen-stewart-girlfriend/
http://the-toast.net/2014/10/16/fictional-characters-gotten-abortions/
http://the-toast.net/2016/06/15/the-toast-looks-back-the-best-of-western-art-history/
Loving all the Mallory evangelists in this thread! <3
I cross posted with DonnaMartinGraduates. But really, can’t have too many Toast samplers
See also:
Personally I’m partial to this one.
I hereby bring this meeting of the Mallory Ortberg appreciation society to order.
I started something, didn’t I?
Indeed there’s no such thing as too many Toast samplers!
I am now picturing a sampler platter of just toast.
sounds delicious
Oh, and she’s also the new Dear Prudence at Slate.
Which reminds me of this classic Toast article, posted before she the new Prudence.
http://the-toast.net/2015/10/01/signs-youre-about-to-write-a-dear-prudence-letter/
And since I’ve fallen down a Mallory shaped worm hole, here’s a couple more.
http://the-toast.net/2014/09/04/eighteen-kinds-people-comment-recipe-blog/
http://the-toast.net/2014/11/05/signs-contestant-lose-chopped/
Katie, your comment killed me dead.
Finally just moved back into my place after having water damage repaired so free hugs, snuggles, kisses, and gropes for anyone who wants them!
welcome home!
Thank you!
Can I just take a moment to indulge in a food-related vent? Yes? Ok good.
Attn. cafรฉ/restaurant owners! The following items do NOT count as appropriate vegetarian substitutes, to be charged at the same price as your meat offerings:
-a meat sandwich minus the meat
-an extra slice of tomato (same goes for lettuce, peppers, spinach etc.)
-a microscopically thin smear of avocado or hummus
-a larger than average sprig of parsley
-a pile of carrot shavings
-“garden vegetable soup” that is actually watered-down spaghetti sauce from a tin
Thank you and please feel free to post your own food rants below.
hahaha oh noooo
Once I went to a restaurant with a group and, scanning the menu for vegetarian offerings, found basically nothing. Rather disappointed, I ordered a ‘garden salad’. There was no description, but everyone knows what a garden salad is? It’s a cheap and sad salad full of generic vegetables with no variability throughout the seasons?
There were little bits of freshly cooked bacon all over the salad. The only thing that made it even a little bit better was everyone else hated their food too. Anyway, that was how I learned that you have to ask if the ‘garden salad’ is vegetarian.
Omg. I would have been tempted to call the server over and ask what part of the garden the bacon plant grows in
It come from a ham bush of course.
Hambushed is a perfect word for when a vegetarian is ambushed by meat
My boss took our little team out for lunch one day and the vegan coworker asked the server if the garden salad was vegan. I had assumed the question was for the salad dressing, but am now wondering if it was also in case of surprise bacon.
While I’m not a vegetarian I completely agree that those are pretty poor substitutes especially if they are charging the same price. Makes me glad i’m a meat eater lol
How can anyone spread hummus thinly? IT WAS MADE TO BE SLATHERED YOU HEARTLESS FIENDS.
I can’t post my food rants there’s not enough patience in the world for that and my way are very strange if not horrifying to most people.
For example I find baked fruit to be an abomination and most dairy products to be gross.
Also I’m gifted at making baked fruit things which often adds a layer of outrage.
And irritatingly inconsistent that I like cheese in pizza etc and tres leche cake, but can only stomach eating feta in ‘mass amounts’ or uncooked and wanna hurl when I see people spread butter on things, but I make kickass lemon curd.
See how quickly things could devolve into ranting about my food weirdness?
You don’t want me rant about food, that way leads to chaos.