Guys, I’m going to level with you right now and tell you I don’t know much about Dakota Johnson. What I do know:
- She’s Melanie Griffith’s daughter
- She’s dating the boring guy from Coldplay
- She was Anastasia in the 50 Shades movies, all of which I saw in theatres because I love bad movies and hate myself
However, Twitter is currently abuzz over these recently tweeted excerpts from a resurfaced interview Johnson did with Vogue in 2017. On a recent breakup, Johnson explained, “Shit happens. I think I’m a little bit heartbroken all the time, even when I’m in a happy relationship. I don’t do casual very well, and my feelings, even the good ones, get so intense that they hurt. Can we make things really juicy? Can we say that I’m taking this time to explore my bisexuality? Or that I have given myself to the Lord following the release of my sexually explicit trifecta of films?” While on the one hand it could be interpreted that Dakota Johnson is announcing her bisexuality, she mostly appears to be making a joke.
She also told Vogue, “I’ve been in a phase of my life where I’m fascinated by young women coming to terms with their sexuality. I guess, by proxy, I have been experiencing that in my own life, and it’s very interesting to me.” It is worth noting that Johnson was discussing the 50 Shades trilogy and its extremely silly exploration of BDSM, and possibly not referencing kissing hot girls. While obviously hopeful, I am not convinced.
That said, Twitter users immediately went searching for clues, and oh boy did they deliver! For example, Dakota apparently has already experienced the Hollywood rite of passage that is “being photographed holding hands in public with Cara Delevingne.” If it hasn’t happened to you yet, just be patient.
i think it’s time to remind everyone that dakota johnson and cara delevingne were possibly dating back in 2016 pic.twitter.com/r6ZJRwPWLj
— d. (@killingvllnele) July 15, 2020
It is worth noting for the sake of Current Events that following her split from her sex bench co-parent Ashley Benson, 27-year-old Delevingne has been recently seen potentially canoodling with Cindy Crawford’s supermodel daughter Kaia Gerber, 18, and I don’t like it.
Other intrepid detectives discovered this interaction between Dakota and noted bisexual Aubrey Plaza:
the way dakota johnson admires aubrey plaza is constantly on my mind pic.twitter.com/6t4UOEfkdG
— ℏ (@femmeonfilm) July 16, 2020
Is Dakota Johnson bisexual? I’m going to be real, probably not, but we can never be sure until we have performed the ultimate test: