Pop star and True Gay Icon Carly Rae Jepsen’s latest album, the pop masterpiece E MO TION, has been refueling my gay gas tank every time I’m worried that I might be slipping into hetero- and cisnormativity ever since I first listened to it last summer. Jepsen injected a new level of gayness into the album when she released the Petra Collins directed music video for “Boy Problems” via Rookie the other day, showing the internet the best gal pal sleepover/dance party of all time. The song was already gay enough, as Jepsen sings about breaking up with her boyfriend and not caring, and wanting to prioritize her relationship with a gal pal over her relationship with a boy, but this video is simply transcendentally gay. It’s the gayest music video by a non-gay artist since Jenny Lewis put Brie Larson, Kristen Stewart and Anne Hathaway in drag for “Just One of the Guys.”
The video follows Jepsen as she sits in her dark bedroom wearing a tiara and crying (gay), cutting to a super stylish and gorgeous group of girls doing things like having sleepovers (gay), working at an office (gay) and taking selfies in a coffin (gay). It all ends with a gay crescendo as Jepsen and her girl gang team up and dance in a room full of glitter- and sequin-covered streamers. For a song that’s ostensibly all about boys, there’s not a single one in the video. I want to live in this music video. It’s my new aesthetic, it’s my new brand.
This music video is so gay Ali Liebert is playing it in the movie version. It’s so gay it’s legal to discriminate against it in Mississippi and North Carolina. It’s so gay the CW is planning on killing it off next week. The “Boy Problems” music video is my whole entire gay life right now. Let’s take a look at just a few of the video’s gayest moments.
12. Members of Jepsen’s Gal Pal Army, including Dounia Tazi, Tavi Gevinson and Torraine Futurum, team up for an even more fashionable and even gayer version of 9 to 5.
11. Carly Rae sits all alone in her room dressed in black and a tiara crying to herself. What lesbian hasn’t done that a million times? I literally just did this yesterday.
10. Alexandra Marzella’s selfie game is so strong she’s taking pics just for No Filter from the grave.
9. Manon Macasaet showing us the proper eye roll technique for when your “straight” bff is talking about boys rather than paying attention to you.
8. Speaking of Futurum, just the fact that Collins and Jepsen feature this model and trans girl of color so heavily in the video makes it ICONIC for all time. All jokes aside, this really is amazing and, as a twoc, I love it and I’m so happy that trans girls will get to see themselves depicted in a girl-centric video like this.
7. Having a neon-washed sleepover, talking about misandry; you know, just gals being pals.
6. Tavi crying while wearing a sharp button up, pink blazer and absolutely amazing pom-pom earrings. I love it.
5. Just posing for selfies with the girls.
4. This is literally what the dance on the last night of A-Camp looks like. Like, literally. Not joking. This is a gay dance party.
3. Rolling your eyes in your coffin because the heteronormative patriarchy is so annoying you can’t even escape it at your own funeral.
2. Look at Carly Rae’s amazingly queer mullet! This is A LOOK. She’s the 21st century pop version of Joan Jett and I love it.
1. Then there’s this moment, the moment I came out of the closet all over again even though I’ve been out for years. This moment is my root. Here she is, singing “I think I broke up with my boyfriend today” and then she turns to her gal pal, Diana Veras, gets a really gay smile on her face, and finishes the line “and I don’t really care.” She doesn’t care because she’s queer. That’s it. That’s the message of the video.
Let’s a take a (smaller) longer look at this moment.
Now, go watch that video again and get your gay life!
mey, you are fucking hilarious.
If only i could get over her squeaky clean voice. I love the colors of the video though, and if crying = gay then I am the gayest person ever.
I used to say something was “as gay as a window” when I wanted to emphasize how truly gay something was. From now on, I’m just going to be quoting this paragraph:
“This music video is so gay Ali Liebert is playing it in the movie version. It’s so gay it’s legal to discriminate against it in Mississippi and North Carolina. It’s so gay the CW is planning on killing it off next week.”
“As gay as a Carly Rae Jepsen music video” is the new “as gay as a window”.
hilarious
THANK GOD YOU WROTE SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!
Best part: “It’s so gay it’s legal to discriminate against it in Mississippi and North Carolina. It’s so gay the CW is planning on killing it off next week.”. Thanks Mey
Ahahaha this is amazing <3
this is everything. can’t wait to dance to this gay song at a-camp.
^^^ yes! actual first thought upon seeing this video.
MEY I LOVE THIS THANK YOU FOR BRINGING CARLY-APPRECIATION TO AUTOSTRADDLE
I love this video!
I went to school with Carly Rae Jepson! In the wilds of suburban Canada.
My question seeing this (super gay?) video: why do all her friends look 20? She’s 30, we graduated together. Which isn’t OLD but it kind of puts the tiara-prom thing in perspective. She didn’t even wear a tiara to real prom! #sorelevant
That all said, it is pretty great.
There’s a website I like that has referred to her as “pretend teenager, Carly Rae Jepsen” before. I guess her voice makes her sound young and she still looks young enough that her record label is going to milk it for as long as they can.
I did ballet with her younger sister! Go Mission!
I love CRJ and I love that you love her, too.
Also, I keep seeing straight people and gay dudes on the internet making fun of her hair. Meanwhile, I’m over here thinking how cute her alternative lifestyle haircut is and trying not to be hopeful about what it might signify.
This article did not adequately prepare me for the punishment of listening to her voice.
HOW DARE YOU.
teehee
Emotion – what an album! It accompanied me on a wonderful, sad, epic 2015! If you’re at A-camp and you spot a girl who only wears one muscle tank with Carly Rae’s face on the front, that’s me. Thank you for this article!
i literally bought that shirt the other day so that i can wear it to camp!
twinsies!
E MO TION is everything to me
YES. Can we continue this list too?
It’s so gay Tumblr won’t bother writing fanfiction about it.
It’s so gay Ilene Chaiken is retroactively taking credit for directing it.
It’s so gay Hillary and Bernie are fighting over who listened to it first.
…
:D
Also, I love your usertitle~!!!!!!!!!!! :3 The Pirate part, I mean.
Anyone else feeling a distinctly Tegan and Sara-esque vibe here? The hairstyle, the aesthetic of the video being similar to “Closer”… Even the song itself sounds like it could be related to Heartthrob. According to the Buzzfeed article published last week Sara has been writing for Carly Rae Jepsen so I feel like there might be something to this.
This song was actually co-written by Sia!
Yes! I actually listened to this song at work earlier (although didn’t watch the video so just now realizing how gay it is) because it came up on Youtube after I listened to the new T&S songs…
You are absolutely correct! This song was produced by Greg Kurstin who also produced the majority of Heartthrob.
yes! half way through the post i was like “k the tegan and sara-type mullet has gotta be on here”
Mey, I love you. This is the best thing.
I think it’s necessary that I point out 1:23-1:25 where a blonde witchy creature is doing some heavy breathing and then bending over in a certain particular direction over a certain particular person lying in a coffin. I think a certain someone was VERY blown away by some V pheromones ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
P.s. Mey, please analyze all the gayest music videos and do lists like this forever and ever <3
ALSO I am enjoying the combination of “I think I broke up with my boyfriend today” while showing walking away disinterestedly from a coffin SO YEAH BY BROKE UP I MEANT MURDERED AND I STILL GIVE ZERO FUCKS
Lame
As a matter of fact, it is worse than lame. Never write again.
Why are you here?
boooooo
File this in “things I wouldn’t listen to unless someone pointed out how gay it is.”
There’s a lot in that file, y’all.
Thank you, bless you.
Carly Slay Jepsen does it again. Your faves could never.
LOVE the aesthetic and Carly’s hair, but I couldn’t understand a damn word she was singing. Maybe it’s my hearing.
I WOULD WATCH THAT 9 to 5 REBOOT FO REV ERRR
OHMYGOD
Mey, you are queen. Yas, kween!
Omg Alexandra Marzella. I hung out with her once. She was a friend of a friend, i sat on her bed. And my most favorite website just mentioned her name..because she’s in a music video about lesbians… YES! Go girl go!
OMG CAN’T.
it’s the music video equivalent of beating a man in an argument about politics while wearing head to toe pink and spekaing in full-on vocal fry
i fucking love it!!!
So much this.
Also- I saw someone wearing those exact earrings yesterday – is it a new version of the handkerchief code?
Beautiful writing, I giggled so much my roommate started looking at me weird (so good job).
Anything that features scenes that could be outtakes from But I’m a Cheerleader is instantly gayer, and that girl’s shirt literally says Cherry Baby. I mean? I’m feeling so validated with this post.
I was wondering why that t-shirt was not on the list of gay things. Because that shirt is hella gay.
I was just going to say this~!!!!!!!! :3 Seriously! The But I’m A Cheerleader outtake and “Cherry Baby”. :3
WELL Carly Rae Jepsen will be at the Brighton pride this year !!!!
So it’s confirmed.
#thegayest
idk if this was a joke article but the first few sentences made me want to die