Thanksgiving Open Thread: Time to Stuff a Tofurkey With Your Feelings

Every holiday we host a rousing, jubilant open thread wherein you can escape various unsatisfactory environments for a more satisfactory virtual environment and/or share the joy of the holiday season amongst friends. Perhaps you’re celebrating your first one as openly gay/vegan/Canadian or bringing your ladyfriend home for the first time. Perhaps you’ve made the best pumpkin pie or quinoa and now nobody cares anymore that the closest you’re getting to turkey or a man this holiday season is impregnating your lez-self with a turkey baster.

Any uncomfortable conversations about how Occupy Wall Street is a bunch of lazy stoned hipsters with no real message? Have you birthed a gluten-free child? Does everyone love/hate your alternative lifestyle haircut? Did you snag tickets to The Muppets MovieAre you dying of excitement for Black Friday and Small Business Saturday, wherein we will begin to unveil the most fantastic assortment of holiday-ready merch in the history of Autostraddle!?!? You know how we do: changing history to enable the future, etc.

I have a Canadian girlfriend, Berkeley Bowl is closed, and my usual Thanksgiving Compadre, Haviland Stillwell, is in Savannah, which is unfortunate, because we’ve spent at least five Thanksgivings together. It’s very meaningful for us because we both hate Thanksgiving ’cause the whole point of it is just to eat a really big dinner full of foods we don’t actually like. Haviland only eats sticks and leaves, and I won’t eat animals that look like animals, so there you have it. Last year I kicked off Thanksgiving in the emergency room of Highland Hospital and then proceeded to have a lovely holigay with Haviland, Marni and Ashley, complete with lesbian folk-rock music and kale. We played frisbee in the street. At some point I was wearing a dress. Look, it’s Charlie Brown!

Here’s a quote from last year’s open thread, to inspire you:

“My family is crazy.
I’m not out to them yet.
But my grandmother likes my tattoo and there’s beer. A refrigerator full of beer.”

– Mr. Z

Also, we want you to know that we’re thankful most of all for you. Yup. You. And if you’re ever in need, you know where to turn…

OK TALK. The first three people to comment with an actual email address and an actual comment will get a special 30% discount code to buy shit at the autostraddle store this holiday season.

Mhm. Just wanna shake things up a little.

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240 Comments

  1. I’m legit thankful for AS. You guys saved my life (well mainly sanity) a million times in the past year!!
    LONG LIVE AUTOSTRADDLE!!!

    • so am I but as a german I don’t really care about thanksgiving …
      but I have this one strong feeling about it that it will ruin my ‘after-dinner-autostraddle-time’ because even refreshing the page every 10min there is nothing new on because YOU ARE ALL BUSY HAVING QUALITY TIME AND GETTING WASTED

  2. I’m transgender. My family is totally unknowing. But hey, I’m 6 months sober on Thanksgiving day, so I’m grateful. b r i s t a d t@g m a i l . c o m

    • And a hearty bienvenue to you! If you’re respectful to your fellow straddlers and the lovely team that makes this site what it is, I’m sure we’ll all be hoping you stick around too. Welcome aboard.

  3. I’m thankful for AS and the fact that they put a picture commenting on native issues. I’m thankful even though I’m canadian and it’s not my thanksgiving.:)

  4. Holidays are weird in my family, especially recently since I’m not out to them yet. Counting down the hours until I can go back to college for three weeks will have to suffice as entertainment while my mother harps in the background about how I need to find a guy…

  5. I get two thanksgivings this year. one with my grandparents and one with my drunken norbert.I plan on being equally drunk so my mothers thanksgiving should be more interesting.

  6. So what is everyone doing this Thanksgiving? I’m alone…as per usual. Not sure what I’ll do. Probably continue to try to hammer out these formatting issues with my new (and 1st) ebook that I’m going to be selling. So many problems so little time! lol.

    I wish everyone on here the happiest and most satisfying Thanksgiving possible!

  7. I’m thankful that I get to spend the majority of tomorrow (Thanksgiving day) at work and NOT around my mother who is crazy neurotic about cooking and forcing “family time” to happen!

    But srsly I’m thankful that I can be out to my family and have that be mostly okay.

  8. I’m spending Thanksgiving alone cuz my mom won’t return my phone calls and my bff has to work out of town. :< Moh.

    I'm okay with it, though, because I'm white and endorsing Derek Bailey for Congress in the 1st District of MI. Yeah!!

  9. I’m so glad this is here! I remember this from last year and I was wondering if you were going to do it again.

    I’m home with my parents and they’re cooking tomorrow for some relatives. No big thang. And then we’re getting our drink on. And then I’m going to sleep and play with my dog until Sunday.

  10. just signed up with an account…hopefully this posts as a member and not a guest…hmmm….*fingers crossed*

  11. I’m thankful that no one judges me for breaking vegetarian on major holidays so that I can eat the best turkey and stuffing to ever grace this messed up earth.
    Seriously. That stuffing recipe is my grandmother’s “old country” recipe. TDF.

  12. i’m reporting live from my kitchen floor, where i’m taking a break from the massive amount of awesome vegan food i’m cooking for tomorrow! i am super excited for this food.

    i am also excited to spend a lot of time on this thread with my phone tomorrow once the family awkwardness kicks in.

    • What did you cook? This is my first Thanksgiving as a veg.

      The vegetarian restaurant at my school actually served tofurkey the other day so I feel like I already had Thanksgiving and will end up eating dinner rolls tomorrow.

  13. I’m pregaming the food like a champ and have a travel sized mouthwash bottle full of maker’s mark under the pads/tampons in my makeup bag for my coffee in the morning. I’m thankful for internet queers and a low alcohol tolerance.

  14. I am thankful for all the positive changes I have made in my life, for my amazing friends (even though the closest one lives 1000 miles away right now), for my wonderful little brother, and for my therapist.

    I will be spending this Thanksgiving alone because my parents uninvited me (through inaction) from dinner rather than the asshole who abused me when I was little. So instead, I am gonna go to the gym, shop for and cook a wonderful dinner for one, and then probably read a good lesbian romance novel!

  15. how am i supposed to smoke my thanksgiving…uh, peace pipe? when no one in this house will go to sleep.

  16. My family are Mormon. There is no ALCOHOL! It would be really great if there were alcohol. Oh well. I am thankful for my kitten that my family, who are very much anti cat people, have allowed me to bring into their home for the week – First the cat, next the ladyfriend? I am also very grateful for the pie.

  17. It took 2 hours longer than usual to get to Portland, I was ready to kill someone by the time I finally arrived. But my aunt greeted me with a margarita so I’m feeling better now.

  18. I CAME OUT TO MY SISTER TONIGHT. It went well.

    Current tally of snide remarks about my vegetarianism: 4.

    Also I made vegetarian stuffing today but I added too much liquid and it turned into a casserole type thing in the oven. BUT IT TASTES DELICIOUS (and I get to eat the whole thing because my family said it tastes like dog vomit)

  19. I’m drunk and I feel like bitching so watch out.

    I woke up today to discover that someone hacked my paypal account and used it to buy a $2,427.80 camera lens. I found out this afternoon that the lens was shipped to my dad’s house. My dad’s address was on my paypal account because I set it up way back in the day when I still lived there. The asshole was smart enough to hack my account but too dumb to understand updated addresses? Anyway, the police said they think the bad guy either wanted to grab it off the porch (super scary!) or will be contacting me saying that there was a shipping error and that I should send the lens back to the company and give a bogus address. I called the vendor, and I think I’m going to be able to get a refund as soon as they get the lens back. But my bank account is frozen until then and I only have a couple bucks in my wallet. They said it could take up to 10 business days. No Black Friday or Cyber Monday shopping for me! I already ordered the AS calendar, though, so what more do I really need?

    One good thing did come from all this: Friends are lining up around the block to help me out. I don’t like owing people money, but it’s nice to know they’re there if I need them.

    So, uh, watch out everybody, change your passwords, etc. I love you all! Happy Thanksgiving! I would make a toast, but I can’t buy more booze.

    • wow that SUCKS! i hope they at least ordered the camera through our amazon affiliates account.
      but yeah, you have a calendar, so.

      • thank you for reminding me to do my Black Friday shopping thru AS’ Amazon affiliate account.

    • my paypal acct got hacked also. used it once, to start AS monthly pledge, next thing I knew someone bought $1100 worth of stuff online at Target. My WONDERFUL bank reimbursed me, even though they didn’t have to. They are a small local bank, not Wells Fargo or someone, whom I’m sure would’ve said “too bad”…
      Never again will I use paypal!

  20. My girlfriend flies home to her family for thanksgiving. And why wouldn’t they ask her to come home, it’s not like they know she’s been dating a girl for two years. not bitter. nope. not a bit.

    • That is SO hard. My ex was out to her immediate family but not to the extended family so there was all that baggage about not wanting to make life difficult for her parents by being gay in front of the extended family at the holidays.

      INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA MUCH?

  21. After telling my brother that I didn’t think I was going to come out to my mom this thanksgiving, I got home and had a glass of wine and enjoyed the really rather wonderfulness that is my mom and stepdad. Having second thoughts. Might actually end up doing it!

    Also, after dinner my mom told me that she picked up Ellen’s book and she really enjoyed it and how funny it was and how it was all about being comfortable with yourself and how I should read it. I don’t think she knows but can I get an L O L.

    Anyway, I’m immensely thankful for autostraddle and for my friends and for homemade food and being in a place where I can actually relax. (Haaa, feel a bit weird ending on this, but whatever, I ain’t too good for a discount: [email protected])

    • In my experience they always in some way know even if they don’t know that they know they know you know

      also english punctuation confuses me so I decided not to use it ever

  22. Wrote a blog post about Thanksgiving! Check it out y’all: http://sanscarte.tumblr.com/post/13176687642/gay-at-the-holidays-or-thats-not-the-only-use-for-a

    This year I’m celebrating TWO thanksgivings with two different housefuls of queer friends…I’m really looking forward to it. Though I do miss my blood-family, it’s nice to not stress about being out or have to deal with their racist/conservative comments or Nana’s neuroses.

    Also I just made some kickass cranberry sauce and sweet potato-peanut stew! Yeah!

  23. I will come back later when I’m not as bitter about the way this year’s family fakesgiving went today. I legit need to remember wtf I’m thankful for, although all of you are at the top of the list for sure.

  24. I just used Autostraddle’s recipe to make the best pumpkin pie ever! My school has driven craftsmanship/presentation/hard work into me so much that it’s a good thing I didn’t make a *third* new crust for perfect presentation. While I worked on that in my family’s kitchen, we all watched Up All Night, Modern Family, and Happy Endings.

    Before that, we all went to the library, where I picked up Rupert Everett’s autobiography and (along with my sister) Bridesmaids and Whip It.
    My sister (and dad) made me go to Breaking Dawn Part 1 just after we got home, and it was the worst of the Twilight movies.

    I don’t know, it was kind of stressful but overall these were enjoyable activities. It helped that I used a really nice shower, into which I did not have to wear flip-flops… plus, everyone is asleep now.

  25. back home from college.
    my family has told me twelve times that i
    a: look thinner, i should keep it up
    b: my new hair is terrible looking
    c: i better be “curbing my behavior, i’m still a catholic lady”

    fml and pass the pie.

    • re c), can you hit back with a few off colour jokes about the lesbian good times that have undoubtedly been had in a few Catholic nunneries?

      re a) I lost a lot of weight recently due to sickness and depression, and every time I skype my mother she says “you look great! your face has gotten thinner!”. our effed up social attitudes toward the body make me crazy.

      • re re a) Our attitudes really are effed up. I always wanted to punch someone when, only days after my grandma had died, people told me I had lost weight and that I looked great. Like – why the fuck is this relevant? Someone died. Please shut up.

        • I’m so sorry that this happened to you. How offensive and insensitive. “Yeah thanks! I’m hoping that if I just drop another 5 pounds, my grandma won’t be dead anymore!” FFS, what is WRONG with people.

          I hope I’m not taking away from what you’re saying but adding this, but something that shits me is that I am naturally petite and I usually wear a women’s small or xsmall. Like surely at that point you would stop thinking a woman needs to lose weight or that it’s healthy for her to do so. Particularly if that women is your daughter. But nooo, “your face has gotten thinner! Fantastic!”

  26. I’m so thankful that Autostraddle exists! I’m also thankful that I don’t have to worry about being “out” to my family because we are like 80 percent gay. Going to spend the day tomorrow cooking elaborate vegan stuff and watching will and grace with my parents most likely. Also I’m hoping it rains.

  27. Seriously thankful for AS. And for whiskey faucets and kittens. My family are passably normal and great with the acceptance of my gayness and all, but for some reason just thinking about holidays always makes me feel super depressed. Huh. At least there is pie.

  28. I’m staying at my grandparents’ for my extended family thanksgiving again this year since I’m at school far from home and my immediate family. Thinking I might not simply try to avoid the awkward questions about boyfriends and, for the first time, instead say something about the girl I’m dating. I’m not sure which is going to win out- my petrified half which says it’s not worth it because this is just aunts and uncles and my grandparents, so it’s not that important since my immediate family is super supportive and awesome or my side that’s tired and angry at myself for staying silent for so long here and in other places in my life.

    gahhhhh homophobia/heteronormativity why can’t you just take a long hike off a short pier?

    And on a happier note, I’m thankful for heated yoga because that shit’s wonderful and currently keeping me sane.

  29. Tonight: Watching TV with my dad, he goes on and on about how he *knew* this one character was gay all along because he has great gaydar and I just silently laughed to myself, because O RLY, is that the case because WELL THEN DO I HAVE A STORY FOR YOU

    However, I am truly thankful for all the lovely friends and family and freaks and weirdos in my life whoever and wherever they are.

  30. I’m sad because my girlfriend’s dad doesn’t like me hanging around the house. Apparently I am a freeloader. I can kind of see where he is coming from, but most of the time when I end up eating there it is because she (or her mom) offers food/demands that I eat. Oh, right. We are not out to our parents (though I am 90% sure my mom knows). Lately, to combat this, I have been sneaking over instead of openly going over, she has been coming over to my house instead where my parents go “YES SOMEONE TO EAT FOOD WE HAVE TOO MUCH”, and every time I go over openly, I bring food or something. Ugh, idk. I just want her family to accept me. :C

  31. I’m thankful for Autostraddle, you guys helped me thru a very difficult time in my life. Sincerely grateful here.
    Also thankful for my girlfriend and vodka. Specially when my girlfriend brings the vodka.

  32. I’m just happy my Thanksgiving this year is going to be spent with just my parents and our cats, and not our usual gig with my dad’s asshole cousin, his snooty wife and their terror of a child who they refuse to discipline. They’re racist, Islamophobic and classist, they go on and on – in front of my mom! – about how my dad would be so much better if he had married his college girlfriend and are constantly trying to encourage him to reunite with her, they make it clear that they don’t consider me my dad’s “real” daughter because I’m technically his stepdaughter…it’s just piles and piles of disgusting.

    My parents finally decided they’d have enough and I think we’re all looking forward to a much more peaceful Thanksgiving this year.

  33. I’m currently waiting for my vegan suikerbrood to rise so I can bake it and get to bed by one o’clock. Then I’ll get up early to finish assembling my feast, pack it up and drive up to College Station for late lunch/early dinner with my brother and the in-laws.

    My evening will be spent as the sole person in College Station watching the Texas/Texas A&M game on TV because I couldn’t get a ticket. My disappointment is pretty mild.

        • It’s Dutch sugar bread, it has cinnamon swirls and sugar cubes mixed in. It was totally worth being up so late last night, so delicious.

          Dinner conversation consisted mostly of the in-laws discussing various past holiday seasons spent in various countries while they were in the air force. Only one mention of how the OWS protesters are “bums” and no reference to the gay, not surprising since I’m not out. Overall, a decent Thursday.

  34. I am currently on the couch next to a roaring fire. My immediate family members have all fallen asleep. This is a super tiny cottage with no real walls (the walls go to where there should be a flat ceiling and then they stop, and it’s just wooden beams and roof–no privacy in this place). Last year, my parents decided that we would spend time up here, just the five of us, because I had just let them know about my girlfriend. “Hey mom, I finished a really good book yeaterday. Oh, by the way, I think I like women. Maybe a tiny bit of me is into guys because sometimes I think dudes are nice to look at, but I’m in love with a super pretty lady.” Apparently, my parents thought that if I didn’t have technology, extended family members, an actual bed, or my girlfriend anywhere near me, I would forget about the whole thing and remember that I’m straight. It didn’t work, I’m still super in love with the same super pretty lady, and here we are again. In a tiny little cabin on a lake.

    It’s nice this year though. They love my lady now. And I’m going to make some killer food tomorrow. Smoked Gouda mashed potatoes? Get inside me. Now.

    • Along with being thankful for a crackling fire, I am thankful for the things no one can take from me–my beautiful girlfriend, my wonderful family, and my expensive education (totally worth it).

  35. i am thankful that WHISKEY is a really reliable and legit muscle relaxant when one has a slipped disc and cant walk. i cant do fucking anything but i can lay here drunk with a heating pad and its totally legit.

  36. I’m one of those lucky ones with a really supportive family (though there are some hiccups from time to time) and it’s awesome. But there’s this one aunt who is literally the only conservative person in my family and despite me being as stereotypically lesbian as I can around her and talking about gay stuff she still does not know I’m gay. It’s actually become a game now and my mom won’t let me come out to her unless my mom’s there because she wants to see her face when I do (it’s her sister) and I was so going to take Thanksgiving to do it. But! She canceled her plans and now I have to wait until Christmas and I’m so disappointed! She’s like fox news conservative and oh man her face, her face would be the best. And the awkward comments and stilted conversation! It would be fantastic. (Obviously I’m not taking this seriously, I’ve long since reconciled the fact that there is a chance she will react very badly and have decided to see the humor in it instead.)

  37. this is my first Thanksgiving out to my family, which isn’t such a big deal, I think. They won’t try any of my vegan food… Although, I’m thinking I’ll not tell them the cookies are vegan. It’ll be an experiment. Also, I can’t get tipsy, cause I’ll be driving an hour home after the evening. And I just watched A Home at the End of the World, and I’m a little sad. I need to get to bed so I can make a lentil loaf. Yum, right? Right.

    • my family won’t try anything i make (vegan) either! SO, my new plan (cause i bake and cook vegan a lot) is to not say “Here’s the vegan cupcakes I made! yum!” and just say “I made cupcakes!” I may add a “They are normal, don’t worry!” This doesn’t always work for cupcakes, but I have to say if they try them, they love them. For other foods, I don’t call it vegan, I say “without meat, you know like that green bean cassorole, etc” They don’t need to know I used vegan butter or a dash of soy milk.

      Can you tell I’ve had years to perfect this so my family will eat my damn food?! It’s so sad to be the only one eating the dish I made, and so far it is working!

      Today is vegan potpie, you know, like the regular kind, that we used to eat, just without the chicken!

      good luck with the cookies :)

      • I only have one aunt who refuses to eat the “weird stuff” or anything containing soy (I’ve tried explaining that pretty much every processed food she eats has soy, but that apparently doesn’t count).

        Everyone else will usually try my vegan stuff and then go back to their meat. It’s just more for me, and I have a vegan coworker to share leftovers with.

    • My family used to be like that about vegan food too! Vegetables at holidays without cheese = foreign concept.

  38. spending it with my 27 closest relatives. all of whom my [loving and well ~intentioned~] mother has outed me to. but i spent today flirting with girls pretending i was an age i wasn’t so that i could pretend that it was ethical to do those things and looking like a total BAMF in combat boots/ 4 inch heels. and the rest of the holiday is sectioned off into all the work i have to do and sleeping [because i am neglecting that for the night] so yeah I’m SO PUMPED FOR THIS HOLIDAY.

  39. Ugh. I just went to one of TWO bars in my small town to get drinks with my best friend from high school and her boyfriend. She still won’t acknowledge that last New Year’s I got really drunk on vodka and told her that I’m gay in the bar bathroom, then proceeded to cry and later fall asleep in a taxi. Not my best moment.

    My plans this Thanksgiving involve NOT coming out to my family and NOT being allowed to make tasty non-dairy versions of traditional Thanksgiving food. Not sure which is more frustrating. On the plus, my small town lesbian sighting tally is up to 2!

  40. I’ll be spending Thanksgiving at my aunt’s ranch. My grandmother hasn’t seen my short hair yet, or my cartilage piercing. Also, she thinks feminists are violent, troublesome women. Her words, not mine. And my aunt owns eight dogs and cares for twenty others. No joke. Plus, the ranch is in the middle of nowhere and I won’t get cell or internet service. I’m so screwwwwweeed.

  41. I’m thankful for the great friends I’ve made in my new city so far, and the fact that we are having a huge American style Thanksgiving in Israel. While I miss my family and all that stuff, I’m so happy I’m not there! With the long list of people getting divorced in my Irish Catholic family, the Lesbian who moved to Israel for 3 years is moving up in the world!

  42. Oh yay, I got misgendered tonight. Went to a movie with some family, told these loud guys to stfu. Apparently my voice is low enough that with the short hair they thought I was a guy cause they were all ‘sorry sir.’

  43. I have to work Thanksgiving and every day this week.

    The good news is the paycheck.

    The bad news is how much booze I’ll buy to cope.

  44. I’m an American living in Australia. It is Thursday and today for dinner I had a grilled cheese sandwich and some raw bell pepper slices. T_T

        • alright, let’s get comfy, shall we?

          firstly i am thankful (ho ho) that australian politics has not yet sunk to the low lows that american politics seems to have sunk to in the last few years, though tony abbott and nick xenophon and co are getting close. it has seemed like a crapshoot for most of this year but gillard is actually pushing through with the carbon and mining ‘taxes’; i actually think the strategy of letting all the ignorance show itself and then blow over before actually being introduced to parliament is working. now if only gillard would get a speaking teacher and work out how to appear more genuine when speechifying it would make a huge difference to the people who don’t like her.

          the whole peter slipper thing i think is actually genuinely hilarious, more in a sideshow one-off farce type way than a groan-so-terrible-you-have-to-laugh way. but whatever.

          now the greens, i am actually a bit ambivalent about them. socially, sure i like their liberal stance. in terms of economic and other policies though, i don’t know how much longterm planning they’ve done in terms of where money is going to come from to fund all the things they would like to do that they have said they back in order to shore up the left vote.

          overall, very meh. if labor can figure out a way to squash abbott and his negative opposing-is-my-policy attitude once and for all i would be a lot happier.

          how are you doing keeping up with aussie news from overseas? (right?)

    • I spent thanksgiving eating ramen with your wife and i was thankful for iced coffee and wontons but i was also sad that you weren’t able to join us and that i couldn’t see your new haircut

  45. first my mom was like “no way your gay friends cant come,” but then my dad calls me up today and is like, “i talked some sense into mom, your friends can come and be gay with you” and i was all like, “PARENTS. it’s TOO LATE. my gay friends are having their own stoned thanksgiving without me. thanks for nothing/intolerance.”

    still gonna get baked with them after the real tgiving dinner though. HOLIDAY TRADISH.

    OMG this time last year I came out to my parentssssss! So drunk.

  46. I’m most of all thankful for my girlfriend. She’s so pretty and smells real good all the time and rubs my head when it hurts.

    I don’t like Thanksgiving, really. But almost six years together puts me in a good enough mood that I could even handle hanging out with all her step-mom’s weird family. (But fortunately, she doesn’t make me do that. Which I’m also thankful for.)

  47. My parents went to Minnesota without me and my brother, so they could celebrate Thanksgiving with my mom’s relatives. So, I’m having Thanksgiving with my brother’s girlfriend’s family this year, which is going to be really weird. I’ve never had a Thanksgiving without my parents before. I’m out to a few members of my family, including my brother and his aforementioned girlfriend. They are totally accepting and wonderful, which is awesome. I don’t know her family very well, but they probably can’t be any worse than my own oddly conservative democrat family. It should be an interesting Thanksgiving regardless.

    Oh, and I don’t have to miss out on all the awkward moments where relatives ask me about boys and I try really hard not to cringe and die a little inside…because we’re having a second Thanksgiving when my parents get back from Minnesota. Yay. (Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, it’s just really hard having to lie to them all the time, and fearing what will happen when I do come out to everyone.)

  48. only my mom will know that i’m gay in about 8 hours.

    she bought me and my brother hard cider that i plan to drink way before it is appropriate this thanksgiving dinner.

  49. I live with my dad in Europe and he was diagnosed with cancer last week but my grandfather in the states is super dying of mrsa, diabetes, and within the same few days as my father’s diagnosis, had a stroke. I’m thankful for a lot, but I’m also pretty torn. I guess it’s hard to see what you really have and appreciate it regardless of your situation though.

    You know what, I’m thankful for that cinnamon martini recipe from a couple days ago.

  50. I keeping logging in, then coming here to post a comment and mysteriously I am not logged in anymore. Oh, well…

    Thanksgiving is at my place, always is. My mother has never made a Thanksgiving dinner in her life. Our entire family will congregate here. That means a whopping four of us, my mother, my two (adult) kids, and me. I’m out to my family. We’re evenly split, two gay (me and my son) and two straight (my daughter and my mother). We eat turkey and all the traditional stuff. My GF is with her parents for TG. We have only been together for a little over a year, so not quite long enough to combine the families for the holiday. I miss her!

    • I FEEL YOU.

      Was it a long flight? Could you sleep/pass out/drink too much at the airport bar and then sleep/pass out, ideally before take off? (That is my strategy. I have lots of analogies about what planes remind me of, but I will not share them because you probably still have a return trip).

    • It’s the worst! I sympathize, big time. When I was in grad school, my partner lived in another time zone and I would go to visit at the end of every quarter. So every 10 weeks, my ass was getting on a plane. It got to the point where I started having anxiety during finals week, and my classes didn’t even have exams! It was all because I knew there was a plane in my near future!

  51. I’ve been staying with my aunt, which is fine except that she’s not there much (and even that gives me an excuse to do homework). I came home to stay with my mom and grandma for a day yesterday though, and it’s really frustrating.

    My grandma actually commented on how fast I talk, like I’m afraid of getting interrupted. My family is sooo bad about interruping, especially my mom. I was trying to explain to my mom in the car what the OWS stuff was really about, and she kept interrupting me to try to convince me that the protestors are just whiny spoiled brats who are upset that the government isn’t handing them out money. And she blamed the people who couldn’t pay their mortgages for the economy problems. =/

    Things are okay though. I’m at my grandma’s house right now and she begged me not to get her or my mom talking about politics, lol. She mostly just lets me do my own thing. So I’m talking to my girlfriend on skype and listening to Ani Difranco while I do homework and write my stories. :) Tomorrow hopefully my aunt and I will make some food we can both eat with our food allergies.

  52. I am thankful that I currently have a house full of seven beautiful, sleeping family members that I love. Grandma’s in town for the first time I can remember, along with my aunt and uncle. It’s really nice to see her. She starts chemo again when they get back to Utah so I’m especially glad to see her. I am super grateful that I am out to my immediate family this Thanksgiving, and beyond thrilled that my mom invited my girlfriend to dinner with us. My mom and I kind of agreed to not introduce her as my girlfriend in front of my grandma, which I’m actually fine with. I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with my grandparent’s reactions. So hopefully the lady will come over after she’s done at her family’s dinner and have dessert and drinks and suggestively squeeze my knee under the table. If not, I have an awesome brother and sister-in-law to drink and smoke hookah with till the wee hours :)

  53. Celebrating my expat Thanksgiving by writing a 12-page paper in Italian (it’s not that bad on account of being about sexual repression in the 1700’s), trying to distract myself from the fact that I have no contact with my girlfriend until Monday because she’s on a beach with no internet right now, and then heading to my professor’s house with a bunch of straight chicks to eat cheesecake, as we managed to convince him it was typical Thanksgiving fare.
    Going to go with I’m thankful for my family for being super sweet when I came out to them, my lovely girlfriend, and boobs.

  54. I’m spending thanksgiving with my girlfriend. For whom I am thankful. Also Autostraddle since it’s basically the reason this awesomeness happened. We’re spending the afternoon/evening baking for an International Thanksgiving meet-up on Saturday, drinking beers, and probably watching/streaming some American Football. Also things of an adult nature.

    This is the first thanksgiving in a while that I’ve had a whole mess of stuff to be properly thankful for. You know, besides those family people. And yes I’m Scottish but my mum works at an American School so Thanksgiving is normally a relatively big deal since all her American friends invite us over and feed us. We do the same on St Andrews Day/Burns Night. Multicultural food exchanges! Wooo!

  55. I am a Canadian so my Thanksgiving was a few weeks ago. But I’m thankful that my ma is still cancer free after a few years, my not-so-baby-anymore nephews are perfect and wonderful, and most of all I am thankful for whiskey. Much, much whiskey to get through akwardly silent dinners with my father.

  56. Sending a huge hug to all of you on this day of ridiculous food and family fun. Remember that our “family” goes far beyond who is across the dining room table, and you are all so very loved! Throw a frisbee, introduce your family to organic kale chips, and have a very thankful holigay!

  57. Camped out in front of the TV, watching Macy’s Day Parade. My vegetarian liberal rants aren’t appreciated in this household. Oh well, at least my mom’s making me mac n cheese this year instead of tofurky (I don’t know how you girls eat that stuff. I tried it one year. Never again).

  58. The parade people just aired “You’re the Top” from Anything Goes. The primary lyric seems to be “And baby if I’m the bottom you’re the top.”

    I think someone needs to stop limiting their sexual roles and just accept that they can both be bottom-y.

  59. I’m spending Thanksgiving with my family in Park Slope, so I guess I’m extremely thankful that I have an accepting family that share my political views, but then after that I get to spend two LONG hours with my parents in a small car, only to arrive in a place with no internet that I’ll have to stay at for 3 days. Help me.

  60. I’m spending my first thanksgiving with people other than family since I’m currently living in Thailand. I’m pretty bummed about it. Red curry and tofu is delicious, but just not the same as the half a dozen pies that I usually have.

  61. I just watched the Rockettes on the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Hello, ladies. I’ve noticed you have legs.

    The camera just focused on a creepy, leering dude in the audience. I was about to get all feministy… then I realized I was making the same face.

  62. Thank you Autostraddle for existing! I live and work in the woods near Lake Placid and today my dad is coming to visit me. We’ll be eating our Thanksgiving feast at a hotel this year while my mom and sister celebrate at home. This split family thing is always harder than I expect it will be. My dad doesn’t even like to hear the word “gay”, and we have arguments over feminism and language and the need for safe spaces and lots of other important topics. Should be a fun dinner. Bring on the beer! On the plus side, I still live in the woods, and I just turned the heel on my first pair of socks! Hand knit socks and winter bonfires in the snow cancel out sad family times and I end up even.

    • I have no idea where Lake Placid is except that there was an excellent Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie about giant crocodiles in it once. Enjoy your beer, have fun with your socks, feed your dad yo the crocodiles if he gets too obstreperous.

  63. My family gatherings are usually not too terrible as everyone does their shit talking durng the car ride home. THERE IS NO BOOZE which is upsetting. But the food will be awesome. The only thing bothering me is the fact that I have to work a 10 hour shift tomorrow starting at 5 am, thanks to black friday madness. Whatevs. Happy holidays everyone.

  64. We Canadians had Thanksgiving in October. For us, November is just a shitty, dreary month (unless you have a birthday to look forward to) we use to start preparing for December festivities. I’ve been counting down to the end of November since the 1st of the month. Come December 1st, I start watching Christmas specials, break out the mint/chocolate soymilk, and pick up winter/Christmas-themed stickers for my students. I hate winter, but I’m a total sucker for December’s “holiday spirit”. I spent $45 dollars on Christmas cards on Monday, and I didn’t care. I totally buy into holiday hype.

    But anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you American gals! How I envy you and your Black Friday sales.

    • I envy your less tumultuous November. It’s finals season and college apps season and somehow we have to make it through all this family bustle without flunking out of college or killing anyone.

  65. Now I’m thankful that at least I’m sane, that seems like a rare trait in this apartment right now!

  66. Currently at the airport waiting to board my flight to miami then to puerto rico = spending thxgiving day on the plane. I’ll let you know how it is in a few hrs. But other than tht, im very excited for my 3 days break frm my stressful grad school life.

    Occupy gratitude bitches!!!

  67. I am spending another holiday with my family who has known I’m gay for years, ignores “it” and just avoids asking me too many questions.

    But I am thankful to spend it with family, because each year I see how important family is.

    It just sucks being perpetually single because I am the ONLY single one out of everyone. Amirite?

  68. It’s not even 8 a.m. and the turkey is in the oven. I’m still in bed pretending to sleep, and food is already cooking. I am going to start food consumption in roughly 45 minutes and I plan on eating until 10 or 11 p.m. tonight. I am thankful that the woman who has a habit of getting tipsy and then saying whatever she wants is pregnant because babies are cute and she can’t drink alcohol right now. I am thankful my favorite non-related adult is almost done with chemo. I am thankful for my amazing mother and brother, who are strong/loving/accepting. I am thankful for my IRL friends and my internet friends, for kittens, and for Autostraddle.

  69. Guys I was supposed to have all my college applications done by Thanksgiving and now it’s Thanksiving. Fuck it.

  70. I’m really thankful that this year our Thanksgiving is going to be at my parents’ house with just my family, because the past 3 years we have gone over to my brother’s girlfriend’s parents’ and they yell at each other a lot.

    Also this weekend might be the one where I come out to my parents? It’s the first time I’ve seen them since June. We’ll see.

  71. I’m thankful that I, a non-vegan, am cooking a completely vegan Thanksgiving for 5 people who can’t go home this Thanksgiving.

  72. I just made very awkward eye contact while dancing around the living room holding a three year old and singing “born this way”. Somebody pass the whiskey.

  73. I am thankful that I do not have to go home for Thanksgiving because I live too far away now. :) It’s the best excuse for not attending holiday festivities ever. Instead, I am making cupcakes and eating chocolate liqueur cherries with my girlfriend while drinking beer and waiting for the turkey to cook. It’s so stress free!

  74. While getting ready for my entire family to come (all 25 of them) my mother just asked me if I have had a conversation with her sister (my aunt and god mother) about my lifestyle. yes my mother said “lifestyle” I wish I had a whiskey faucet right now.

  75. i’m about to go eat thanksgiving meal (it’s at 2pm so it’s not exactly thanksgiving lunch and not quite thanksgiving dinner so i dunno what to do here) with my lesbian cousin. yay! i mean, some other family members will be there too, but i’m most excited about my lesbian cousin. wow, this means 66.666% of the gay members of my mom’s side of the family will be in one room.

  76. i’m an american in the uk, so no thanksgiving proper and no family time for me. but i’m thankful for another american who i talked into going out with me for burgers tonight. but i really wish i could be with my family this year–earlier i received this from my sister: “mom says that because i can’t cook i have to bring four bottles of wine. done and done.” my family is awesome, and i’m very thankful for them, even if my parents are not 100% cool with me being gay. we will win this one with humor, folks, and by refusing to go away. occupy your families :)

  77. First time I haven’t gone home for Thanksgiving. Missing my family, but glad to be spending it with friends.

  78. I am thankful that the Pumpkin Ale was on sale for seven dollars yesterday and that I’m old enough to buy my own beer for when we got an early start on the seasonal holiday family fights.

  79. Home is like an alternate universe now. Which is sometimes fun/amusing/nostalgic…Until you realize that you’re already counting down til you can go back to school and your girlfriend and all your queer friends (that you can’t talk about at home).

    But hey, at least there’s pie and stuffing! Also I really need to make a black friday list for all my online shopping.

  80. I’m thankful for wine, weed, Autostraddle, and my girlfriend Diana. All these will help me through this Thanksgiving, where my parents are going to meet Diana’s for the first time. Oh the stress.

        • Good luck! When my girlfriend met my parents, my mom, being the bold woman that she is asked her about politics and religion right off the bat! Cue me biting my lip nervously. That night, I sent her a message saying, ‘Thank you so much for coming. I know meet-the-parents get-togethers can be nerve-wracking sometimes.’ 1:30 am in the morning my girlfriend texts me back, “[My name], you have a weird idea of a bad time. I got to meet your lovely parents, play with your adorable dog and eat amazing crumble.’ Sent me back to sleep with a smile that’s for sure. I didn’t mean it as heavily as she read it though ha.

  81. I’m spending thanksgiving at my grandma’s house in Long Island, and my dad compared the parade to one time he was on acid in the 70s. greatest thanksgiving.

  82. I am thankful for the Muppet’s movie marathon that’s on TV right now. Muppet Christmas Carol is on at 5!

    I am also thankful for the bottle of Bacardi that my dad bought me.

  83. I really miss my cats when I’m not at my parents’ house. They’re all boys and currently two of them are having a gay love-fest on my bed. It’s adorable.

  84. My girlfriend was going to come over to my family’s place for Thanksgiving because we broke up then got back together just in time. But yesterday my girlfriend got the news that her dad is dying so my mom is giving her a ride to the airport in a few hours. Then I’ll eat vegan food and drink lots of wine with my parents and brother while they roast some sort of large animal.

  85. So I’m really grateful for my entire family who I love more than the world, but sometimes when they do things like chastise my male cousin for wearing pink and make him change, I wish that I had a family who I wasn’t so reluctant to come out to. Regardless, I am thankful for my wonderful girlfriend who they likely will never meet, and autostraddle, which lets me vent about my closeted lesbian issues.

    • Also there’s my uncle telling me that women’s studies is a waste of time and money. So I just really appreciate every single comment they make basically.

  86. my family celebrated thanksgiving on sunday due to scheduling issues. it was fun. maybe i had too much fun –

    this was the texting exchange between my sister and i the next day

    me: so i may have drank too much wine at thanksgiving and told my smoking pot, puking on fake hair story in front of your husband’s mom. sorry :/
    sister: hahaha that was aunt ann, not his mom. and i was sitting next to her when you told it.
    me: lol awesome! aunt anns hip she wont judge. i’ve been feeling like a total ass for it. nope not an ass. just a drunk.

  87. I’m thankful for Autostraddle. I’m thankful for my mother and her insanely amazing cooking and support of my veg*ness and that she couldn’t care less how queer I am. I’m thankful that she has great friends helping her through a hard time and that they’re coming to keep us company for dinner. I’m thankful for the few friends that I have, even if my best friends are kind of shitheads, and my non-blood-related niece who is almost a year old and my favorite person on the planet. Mostly I’m thankful for whiskey, though.

  88. So….I kind of hate football. Why is it seemingly the only entertainment?

    (I know, some people really love it…even some of you here on AS. I will never understand.)

  89. my dad’s a racist and doesn’t understand variations in gender, but at least this isn’t the mormon side of the family so i can drink through it. christmas at mom’s will be rough.

    • I might be on the edge of being bored enough to watch some other kind of IFC marathon.
      still have to finish season 2 of the real l word before 3 starts. just to appreciate the recaps more, y’know

  90. Cheesy but this year I’m really thankful that I met my girlfriend and that my parents have been so welcoming to her. And I’m so happy that she was my first kiss because it felt so amazing. I’m about to go and spend Thanksgiving with her and the people on her dorm floor.

  91. Today just reinforced how sad I am that my girlfriend doesn’t know my family. I don’t know if she’ll ever get to know them, either… I guess I just have to learn to live a split life.

  92. cried on the way to the restaurant we eat at every thanksgiving with the rest of my family.

    then at thanksgiving my grandmother said “you know what, lauren, i mean this in the best possible way. your haircut is really PUNK ROCK”

    and then when i was leaving she said she’s there for me no matter what.

    today i learned my family is okay with be being a big homogay with a lot of feelings all of the time.

  93. I’ve felt like I was about to puke all day because I ate too much on top of accidentally eating gluten yesterday which makes feel like I’m gonna puke anyway.

    basically, the only positive was good food and my special friend liked my dress. and i’m going alpine sliding tomorrow. woo!

  94. Well I’m just waiting on the GF to take the plastic off the tofurkey and dig in! We’ve had a long month; last week we spent time with my fam in Ohio …. watching my dad get married for the 3rd time. Ouch. So it’s wonderful to have some alone time with the girl. Oh, and we’re moving next week so we’ve been on a packing spree. We went for a run in the neighborhood and now we’re ready to eat and snuggle up :) Holidays are stressful with my family, so I enjoy moments like today where we can just be alone and not have to deal with drama!

  95. I am drinking a lot of brandy with eggnog and it is good. Definitely helping with this MUCH TOO LONG Thanksgiving. Also with the knowledge that my work shift starts at 1:30am. TARGET ARG.

    ALSO I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. *drunken hugs all around*

  96. Also this is my first Thanksgiving being out to my immediate family, which is kind of nice, kind of stressful. Kind of feels lonely in a weird way too. *more hugs please*

  97. Even though my neurotic and efficiently passive-aggressive mother is driving me crazy, I came out to my dad while we were on an alcohol run. It went well! Supportive dads FTW!

  98. I am watching my parents scream at each other across the phone, got all kinds of threatening texts from my ex’s sister today and got to listen to a big homophobic rant. So, I am very thankful for wine, and autostraddle tonight.

  99. Tonight my liberal grandparents came over. Thank god. The rest of my family is Catholic and I haven’t seen them since I came out, so…I can just hear the questions at Christmas now, “Why are you wearing a skirt if you’re gay? Do you wish you had a penis? Are you SURE you are gay?” And my mom said I have to be polite. We will see. Do another open thread for Christmas please :P

    • Q:Why are you wearing a skirt if you’re gay?
      A: To attract all the hot butch dykes that go crazy for femme lesbians in skirts and heels *sweet smile*

      Q: Do you wish you had a penis?
      A: Oh I have one, I bought it from the sex shop down the road. It’s sparkly silver and eight inches long! Bet you / your husband can’t match up to that, hey?

      Q: Are you SURE you are gay?
      A: Well no actually, so would you mind if I borrow your wife / girlfriend / daughter to find out for sure? Cos she’s been makin’ eyes at me all night and I think she’d be glad of the opportunity to double check her sexual orientation as well.

  100. this year i am procrastinating work on my imminently-due grad school applications to catalog all the expendable books/dvds i’ve left at my parents’ house, in order to see which ones are worth trying to sell on amazon. (for prices under $10 their commissions are a bitch…help a suddenly funemployed girl out, amazon.)

    unfortunately i also do not have any, uh, herbal appetizer this year, but i AM grateful that my family is cracking up playing wii with my girlfriend and i am about to eat some leftover-fake-turkey-with-mayo-on-squishy-white-bread sandwiches which are THE BEST PART OF THANKSGIVING. my sis and my gf agree on this; we have an annual after-dessert tradition.

    • My dad called me a month ago to say he found a stack of old VHS tapes, including “Frankenhooker”, and wanted to know if they were mine. I said I couldn’t recall. He said he’d save it for me anyway.

      I’m thankful for my awesome parents, and jealous that you’ve already reached leftover sandwich time.

  101. I am going to celebrate Thanksgiving a day late, in Seattle (where I do not and have never lived), with Canadians. Slightly incongruous and hard to explain, but fun.

    I am thankful I have a full scholarship, a strange but loving family, and a partner as queer and magically gendered as I am who helped me celebrate the day before Thanksgiving by watching Pulp Fiction with me, having copious amounts of sex, and then eating cereal and cuddling together at two in the morning.

    Currently I am wondering how much I’ll be able to hoard food all to myself as the only veggie dinner attendee, and whether or not my family will let me drink around them now that I’m in college.

  102. I was always made to feel like shit by my mom, who thinks I don’t care about “family,” but today I realized that family doesn’t have to be the people who are related to you by marriage or blood. They can just be the people who get you best and love you in spite of all your shit, and I have that, and I care about them too. I’m grateful to my biological family because they at least have to pretend to tolerate or love me, but ultimately they don’t know me, and they make hateful comments every year which makes me know that a vast majority of them would never accept the real me. So thanks to Autostraddle, my friends, and the queer community at large for helping me feel welcome.

  103. It is perfectly acceptable to bake and eat a dozen chocolate chip cookies by myself while sipping on a whiskey tumbler full of Tuaca, right? Yes!?! Good, just double checking.

    Merry Thanksgiving, fellow AS queers and non-queers!

  104. I livec in Canduh but that doent mean I crant b drunk with the west of you. But like toally baffled that you theres thanksgivings with snow on the ground. we have stnow here. Also misldy nostlgic for my homophoby, racisty +oth bigoted catgorys fmailty cause Im writing termpapiers up nortyh and i lieks verbgal sparring matches (BUT BETTER WITH THE GIANT QTIPS ZOMG)

  105. HAPPY THANKSGIVING AUTOSTRADDLE!! Hope everyone has something to be thankful for today.

    Also, best Thanksgiving food is pie. Just saying.

  106. WHOA did you guys know there was a lady gaga thanksgiving special on rn? my mom just sang born this way and i am drinking.

  107. I am motherfucking thankful. Thankful for the events of this year. For being bullied out of my job. For taking a new one where women cried on the phone to me about their abducted children. For friends who ditched me when I no longer fit into their five year plans. For being abandoned my academic supervisor as I struggled to write my final dissertation for law school. For surviving law school anyway and graduating, free at fucking last, for showing my parents into my lesbian separatist household on graduation day and having them against all odds love it.

    For moving continents. For a brief and beautiful affair with my first love in Berlin. For finishing it finally for good between us and for heartbreak. For a new country, Denmark. For getting sick and depressed and fucking up my studies and being forced to ask: who am I? What am I made of? Who will I be if this all turns to shit? and realising that I am a tough broad who can turn any bump in the road into a new direction. For settling into my new country in spite of all the chaos. I am thankful for solitude. I am thankful for new friends. I am thankful for the constant support of old ones. And I am thankful for adventure, for travelling to Iceland, for being able to go as far away as it is possible to be from my native Australia and feel more at home than you ever have done in your life.

    Above all, for the opportunity to learn who *I* am, away from the drama and pressure of life back home. To learn that I am tough and radiant, but that veins of darkness weave through me, each one representing a trauma that worked its way into my psyche. I see what strengths I’m going to use when I go back down under, but I also see what blockages I have to work on, so I can become even more the womyn I already am. I am a thankful motherfucker. And I am motherfucking thankful to Autostraddle, for giving me a space to express it.

  108. THIS. EXACTLY THIS.
    Try living in Brooklyn, going home to suburban Georgia, still being in the closet and I DARE YOU TO NOT LOSE YOUR MIND.
    The highlight of my Thanksgiving was when my baby cousin was making up a song (ABOUT JESUS, OF COURSE) and she was trying to come up with something to rhyme with “system.” Her solution? “FIST ‘EM”
    It was perfect.

  109. I want to be thankful you guys. I really, really do. I’ve spent hours looking at this thread today, just to find inspiration.

    I just…can’t. Maybe next year.

  110. I’m grateful that I’m one of the tiny, tiny percentage of the human race not living in shit-all poverty. I’m grateful I live in a country where I won’t be arrested for my opinions (theoretically), I’m not (legally) required to pick a religion, and the government won’t arrest me for the way I dress.
    I’m thankful for a family that loves me completely and unconditionally, and goes out of their way to make sure I know that. I’m thankful that I have never been bullied, despite dressing and cutting my hair the way I do and being SO GEEKY I might as well have a target painted on my back. I’m thankful that even though everyone at my school has thought I was gay since freshman year, it never occurred to them to tease me for it. I’m thankful that I get to watch my cousin grow up. I’m thankful that my dad has a job in maybe the only growing sector in this economy. I’m thankful that my best friend hasn’t felt like dying for 2 years.

    I’m thankful for a dad who says things like “you know what? Thanksgiving is a good day for you to learn how being drunk feels.”
    I’m thankful for getting enough sleep last night. I’m thankful for my teachers not giving me homework this weekend.

  111. i just need to take this opportunity to share a quote from my mother:

    (in response to me maintaining that i can believe in morality without the threat of hell and asking if she sees me killing babies)

    “having sex with women really is like killing babies, because you’re not using your eggs.”

  112. This year my girlfriend and I decided to have a themed thanksgiving. What was the theme? NAKED THANKSGIVING! Awwwwwww Yeeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh….

  113. I was at a thanksgiving dinner with a bunch of conservatives tonight. They were all drunkenly screaming at each other about how awful Occupy is…
    On the plus side I made an awesome apple pie!
    Then we started talking about college (I’m in high school) and I mentioned that I liked Smith. Response: “Are there ANY heterosexual women that go there?” Didn’t quite no how to answer that one, so I just said no and smiled.

    • Have you visited Smith? The area around there is beautiful.

      (I don’t go there but I go to UMass Amherst so I end up in Northampton a lot)

    • Also all the Smithies I know are straight… Clearly I’m not looking in the right places/don’t know enough Smithies.

  114. My brother’s reaction to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade: “What is this shit? I often wonder.”

    Thanksgiving involved lots of sparkling wine, the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special, and my brother’s girlfriend and her mother being at my parents’ house, as well as watching the Packers-Lions game.. (Yay for the Upper Midwest.) and i watched the Lady Gaga thanksgiving special. I kind of felt obligated to watch it as the only not-straight person in the house. It was followed by my mother asking if the person i wanted to bring to thanksgiving dinner was nearby. I was kinda waiting for her to ask if said person was a guy or a girl. Fortunately she did not.

  115. I just discovered this website while doing some research for work. Very cool. Need the virtual community as I’m in rural Pennsylvania with my wife* and her parents for Thanksgiving. Her mom has recently told her that she thinks it is wrong for us to try to have children of our own. But I’m doing my best to take the high road and be loving and supportive because my wife’s sister just died (she was 32 years old).

    Fighting would be tacky; pouting would be petty. Just gotta hang in there. Hopefully my wife won’t be overcome by internalized homophobia and change her mind about our family planning. At least I made a DELECTABLE squash casserole today.
    (*legally married in CA, woot woot!)

  116. Best part of the day, the second dinner with my aunt and uncle at a German restaurant. They brought a flask and spiked the spiced cider.

  117. YOU GUYS I accidentally came out to my 12 year old brother this Thanksgiving over hors-d’oeuvres.

    It blew his mind. “But wait, I thought our whole family was straight. Now Hannah’s ruined it!” And then the rest of the meal was composed of references to my bisexuality and the random friends and relatives of my godparents were all really confused but also laughing at him. And then during dessert he was like “SO WAIT. So do you KISS [your girlfriend]?? EW.” And then he came up with a dance to represent the straights and the gays. The straight dance move looked kind of gangster and the gay dance move was floppy wrists… appropriate?

    Such a positive Thanksgiving. I like my fam the most right now.

  118. So. There is no booze here. Or weed. Stuck in the middle of (very) rural Oklahoma. I haven’t seen my mother in a year and found out a day after buying my plane ticket home that she wouldn’t be able to come to Thanksgiving with my father’s side of the family. Not out to any of these family members except for my little sister, got a huge long ranting text message from my ex saying I need to come out to my family because they don’t even know the person they think they love, etc etc etc. despite the fact that it would probably get me disowned by my extremely conservative southern baptist family. The girl that I’ve been wooing for 3 months and finally hooking up with for the past few weeks has a boyfriend, and is in Iowa with her family with shitty cell signal and therefore very little contact. My friends back in Vegas are having a fantastic friendsgiving/trip fest that even my little dog is attending.

    Buuuut, I still have my little sister And my grandmother totally trimmed up my mohawk from the freakish fauxhawk mulletish it had grown into, despite her reservations that I’d “look like a little butch”. And tomorrow I will be driving to the city to meet up with and hopefully hook up with a girl that I knew back when I lived in Texas. The pros outweigh the cons, I love my family, they fed me so well, I might sleep now, thanks for listening, love you guys.

  119. Spent the 1st half of the day with my dad, his girlfriend, and her family ::awkward:: Subjected to the usual conservative talk, all while struggling to eat on one side of my mouth in attempts to avoid my oh so painful cavity >_<

    Immediately following, I sped across town to OD on turkey yet again with my mom. I walked into the restaurant and like a light beaming down from the heavens there before me was the most stunning lesbian couple ever! EVER! complete with alternative haircuts and tattoos. Happiness at last! My goal is to be as awesome as them by this time next year.

    Thankful for cute girls, alternative hairstyles, and tattoos :)

  120. OH MY GOD IS IT SEX POSTERS IN THE AS STORE.

    I’m dying to know when exactly “coming soon” is because it’s the perfect gift for my girlfriend! Ahhh I love you Autostraddle! Totally buying her the two poster deal and myself a “you do you” one!!!

  121. I love you, Autostraddle.

    I’m also thankful that Rite Aid has a twelve pack of Blue Moon Winter Ale on sale for $11.99. I’m going to drink every last drop, make my girlfriend watch Deathly Hallows part two again and cry about Harry Potter being over. Again.

  122. So today, there was parental fighting, then tense silence, then passive aggressive sniping over dinner. Then I ran to hide and read a book, then take a nap with my cat. So, basically it was just like every other family holiday and most days that end in -y.

    But on the bright side, Amazon has the first two seasons of Vampire Diaries DVDs on sale for 12.99 each, so I bought one (and used the Autostraddle link!) to make myself feel better :)

    • Ack!! I thought I was the only person on the planet who watched the vampire diaries. I love love love love it

  123. You guys, I just want to let you know that I made that roasted pear dish that was posted a few weeks ago and it was SO. GOOD.

    I felt so fancy. Yeah, what? You made stuffing out of a box? I made roasted pears. What. What. They’re delicious.

  124. Last night, after dinner, my whole family went on AS and caught up on all of my recent articles. I feel so thankful. Also my mom was hilarious about the one I wrote on Breaking Dawn Pt 1.

  125. okay so for thanksgiving i decided that since the gym wasn’t open i would make cooking my work out for the day and make 7 dishes that all came from you autostraddle (you go autostraddle!). well i went to the store to pick up my ingredients two days before and i was confused for a dude ( achievement unlocked! convincing androgyny +3000pts!), which explains why i was getting str8 girl eyes and giggles. started cooking at 8-ish and somewhere along the way my 11 year old cousin became my assistant and helped me finish the last 3 dishes (achievement unlocked! finish improbable goal +5000pts!). after my twelve hour cookfest i decided to get ready for the dinner and i hear the frat boys who i went to florida with in my kitchen. one of them follows me outside and tells me to go in their car for a bit and offers me really really good weed FOR FREE! and i bailed out because i was already far gone on my pain killers. is this what growing up is? well i make it to party area and chit-chat with everyone there for a bit and have a long needed seat. half an hour later frat boy’s sister is telling me how hot i was/am and creepily staring at me for the remainder of the night. oh yeah, and she’s 13, ( -2000000pts) so it’s extra creepy. everyone loves the food blah blah blah, they can’t believe veggies taste this good, ladida. so a bit later on my assistant chef started craving lemonade and since she helped me out i decided to make some for her. well, i forgot how crazy this kid gets on sugar and end up paying the consequences later. to subdue her crazy i decide to go drink a cup of wine or three. a hyper active kid on lemonade and a hyper active drunk with wine end up playing countless rounds of connect 4, uno, and dominoes until 2 in the morning. i leave tired, drunk, and confused (don’t i always) and decide to get on asschat :( no one was on, i’ll just have to get foolish on cam around christmas time then.
    i still have a head ache and can’t decide if i should go to the gym or stay in bed and alternate between eating food and sleeping…..hmmmm the gym does have hot girl at the front desk and cute femme who takes her shirt off on the stair climber…..but i feel sooo lazy today

  126. holiday time studying far away, called my parents, and they were eating out some lamb and stuff. thanksgiving has been cooked at my house for years, for a medium large family. what’s happening while i’m at school??!

    i will go back for christmas and feel the distance… family! always there, and they walk around like ghosts when i go back to visit. my parents kept sneaking up on me last time -__-‘

    now in school, i tell them about the places i go, and they’re like, “oh wow! see, that’s what you need to do!” or “i’m so proud of you my juju!” it’s so cute. juju. yeah. but too much pressure. i want to have the accomplished life they think i’m trying to start, but i am the one seeing all of the actual experiences. i don’t want them to feel like i’ve done something great, i want them to treat me like i have a normal life with ups and downs. i appreciate their support, but they don’t know what’s going on. it’s tough to face the dreams of your parents. parents, saying they’re proud and happy and excited. that’s like so much support it’s no support, because they don’t know what i’m saying actually means. they think it’s all good. it’s ok, support and praise is good. but now, in school, and far away, i see i need to do this on my own, cause they’re way far out. they are all happy cause they aren’t here seeing my life. it’s long distance smothering.
    i still try to bring them back down to earth, to tell them, “no it’s really just normal life, it’s not that exciting or praise worthy, etc, it’s also not the end of the world: it’s just college! so maybe we can get on the same page and be real? and talk about a place that’s 2,000 miles away, you’ve never been to but i’ve been living in for over 2 years.” so no, they don’t listen, they just keep smiling. wow. my parents look old… and slow…… what’s happening?! am i really starting to live my own life? they have given up. or i have given up on them. i think it’s mutual. i can no longer take them seriously. they cannot take me seriously. i’m…. i’m… i’m…. i’m free. O__O woah damn.

    wait. maybe they are actually just prepping me to take care of them when they start pooing themselves. which from all of this looks like it could be any day now nooooooo why… holidaze parental paranoia….nooooooooo
    thank you thanks auto giving comment board, thanks a lot.

  127. I had Thanksgiving dinner with my family and neighbors. Nobody even made any inflammatory sexist/homophobic comments, and the daughter in the neighbors’ family gave me hot pink Essie nail polish that she didn’t want anymore, so now I can pretend to be part of Jenna Lyons’ family.

  128. The holiday season is a very depressing time for me. Always has been. From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, I hate life even more than usual.

    Know what my most vivid memories are? Lying in bed at night while the Christmas lights mom puts around the windows are still on, and crying. Crying for having to visit with people who will never accept me, crying for the lack of control I feel when I am around my family, crying for my life being anything but MINE.

    This is the last year I will spend here, come hell or high water. I graduate next month. I have to get out of here, for my own sanity.

  129. hehe. walked into the main room where the boys were watching football to my brother outing me to my dads half of the fam. I guess I had already kinda done it, my cousin asked me if there were any cute guys or girls at school and I guess my silence was suggestive enough to get the ball rolling. This is good I guess because now they know and the people my brother was talking to are cool. But I had to tell my brother to shush because my mom doesn’t want her side of the family to know and they were in the other room. Also, I was kinda buzzed because my twelve year-old cousin was feeding me hard cider to get me drunk so he could ask about my sex life. I didn’t get drunk enough to tell him about it, but I did get buzzed.

    All in all a great Thanxgiving-really good food, lots of crazy happy family, and shopping with my best childhood friend at four in the morning (black friday traditions)

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