Thanksgiving OPEN THREAD: Are You Full Of T/of/urkey Or Just Feelings?

The holidays are a special time. Whether you’re celebrating your first one as openly gay/vegan/Canadian, or bringing your ladyfriend home for the first time amid alcohol-drenched family chaos, it’s sure to be a weekend of laughing, crying, and desperately texting your friends. Did your creepy uncle announce a conversion to Mormonism? Did your girlfriend’s dad curiously ask what “fisting” was while you were forearm deep in the turkey? Did you have an anxiety attack/breakdown in public when your family forced you to go to Black Friday at CABELA’S like Rachel did last year? If so, what anti-anxiety medication do you recommend?

TALK TO US, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

We like to have holiday open threads because 1)your grandmother is really funny, 2)because it softens the blow for those of us who are a)alone, b)drunk anyhow, c)chasing vodka with shots of cranberry sauce.

Last year the Open Thread concept peaked almost immediately after launching [First Open Thread: Terrible/Awesome Homo-Holiday Feelings for Thanksgiving], when the Christmakwanza Open Thread brought on the invention of Showerbeer, the rules of Beerio Kart, and heartwarming tales of our Tech Editor being picked up at the Cincinnati airport and subsequently driven to Central Kentucky in the rain by a tweaked out uncle.

So anyhow, we’re just over here in this wicker turkey. Just waiting. I never wanna eat this much banana bread I mean stuffing again.


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219 Comments

  1. It snowed this morning, which was super-pretty! The dogs at the animal hospital out my bedroom window were excited too ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF AWOOO ARF ARF ARF ARF. Then my brother made me watch about 9,000 episodes of Blue Mountain State (seriously, don’t ever watch that show) and mispronouned me a bunch.

    Food, Inc. is a good movie to watch after consuming a massive amount of food, right? That seems to have been our plan. I’m also pretty sure it was Thanksgiving a couple of years ago that we watched Super Size Me; there’s some unresolved guilt there, methinks.

  2. Woke up to my parents calling to say Happy Thanksgiving before flying to India. So jealous.

    I forgot the dog show was on, which is a bummer ’cause I got serious dog envy.

    Spent apprx 5 hours cooking food while alternating beer and coffee.

    Lesson Learned this year: Use liberal amounts of fresh grated ginger in your pumpkin pie instead of dry and heat the pumpkin + spices up in a sauce pan for a few minutes to open up the flavors. Seriously, I made the best pumpkin pie of my life this year doing it this way.

    Then to a friend’s for a small Thanksgiving. They have two dogs. WIN! More beers.

    Post dinner hookah smoking. Rounded out with some Eddie Izzard stand up. Not too shabby.

    Thanksgiving has always been a time for friends for me since going home is far and expensive. Plus, my mum is British and for a good chunk of my childhood she looked incredulously at my American dad when Thanksgiving preparations were mentioned. She’s come around, but it’s just not such a big deal for us familially as others.

    A belated Happy Thanksgiving to all the ‘straddlers out there. May your trousers be loose and your leftovers delicious.

  3. thanks giving day was great my son ran around and played his mom slept most the day in my room and stayed off her damn cell phone and me my mom and hers all played games and talked .. food was great to … yeah its over lol even the good holidays that go by are just to stressful

  4. Mom: “Jade sit up like a lady. You sit so manly” (in response to me sitting at the table)

    My dad’s attempts at prayer: “Uh God…. thanks for the meal and stuff…. and people…yea

    Arthur (my ex-boyfriend yea my mother invited my him and his parents and his son because she’s evil): You know Jade, I bet you’d make a good mother *smirk*

    My nana on speaker phone talking to me: How’s my chocolate grandbaby?
    Me: I’m good
    My nana: Ya mama said you tryna get as fat as me baby?
    Me: *awkward chuckle*
    My nana: you won’t be able to find you a fine husband if you as big as nana baby.
    Me:….ok
    She then proceeds to drop the phone and comment on how the only way to get the baby thats crying the background to stop is to beat its ass.

    Mom to Arthur: You know Jade hasn’t really had a boyfriend since you two broke up
    Arthur’s mom: Yea, why did you guys break up anyway?
    Arthur: She decided to rip my heart out with her bare hands, isn’t that right Jade?
    Me:……
    Arthur’s dad: At least she’s not gay, right? *laughter*
    Me:….of course not (while avoiding looking at the magazine with Jennifer Beals on the cover thats sitting on the table)

  5. Jade,
    You are the recipient of the 2010 Family Holiday Holy Fuck Just Shoot Me Now Award—really.

    Display it with pride, ’cause grrl, that sounded just awful!

    (((((((internet hug)))))))

  6. Had a pretty fun time, though my family holidays always mostly consist of mom making everyone change into pretty clothes so pictures can be taken. As usual I got hair clips put in my hair by mom so I’d look “nice” in the pictures – so jealous of my male cousin who showed up with a long version of Bieber hair, falling in his eyes and everything. Put clips in that, mom! Anyway the food was good, after the pictures of it were done. Nearly everyone was too full for pie, so said cousin and I ate up all the Reddi-Wip with spoons and sparkling grape juice goblets. This decent holiday experience brought to you from the closet.

  7. My cousin, who is a new mom to a premature baby that is 6 DAYS-OLD, walks into the sun room and says “Hey, where’s my baby.”

    Way to keep track of the human that came out of your vagina less than a week ago.

  8. I actually came out as bi to my parents. It was somewhat accidental. I was telling my mom about how I was talking to someone online/via e-mail and out slipped this darn “she” before I thought about it. My mom being observant and all caught it.

    The funnier news is that she already assumed as much…she helped me move recently and apparently one of my box of books opened briefly, with a book on bisexuality on the top. She just wanted it to come from me instead of from her. Dad’s still an unknown, but warm and happy when he saw me off at the train station, so I think it’s all good.

  9. for the first thanksgiving in 4 years i didn’t have to cook dinner for 30 people, i have not yet gotten over this, i AM in fact shocked by the fact that i missed the stress of spending an entire day cooking a meal. i did make corn bread pudding and my adoptive-aunt-while-i-live-on-the-other-side-of-the-country loved it so much she kept walking by and grabbing chunks :)

  10. Reading these comments made me thankful for my wonderful family. Unfortunately, my lady and all but one of my family members decided to spend Thanksgiving in the Midwest (my sister went to visit her mother in Tennessee instead). I didn’t feel like spending the money and time to go home to Michigan when I’ll be there for Christmas in less than a month anyway, so a friend and her family friends adopted me.

    Really, my Thanksgiving was great. Not only were the people great, but for the first time since I became a vegetarian 7 years ago, I wasn’t the only one and therefore could actually eat yummy foods!

    But then my friend really wanted to go to a party her sketchy Russian friend was throwing. It should be noted that while this boy is quite intelligent and in many way a stereotypical Russian Jew, he also gets his thrills out of drug dealing and the like. He’s also 16. The kid and a number of other people at his ‘party’ (in his parents’ basement, cool right?) were on Molly. Then a kid got alcohol poisoning. At this point his father decided to notice his basement was full of drunk teenagers and kicked people out. Son and father argued. Father cracked son’s head open with a metal flashlight (not very deep). We left with son and huddled up with the Russian boy in a treehouse down the road, listening to the ambulance and police cars arrive while we waited for a rescue ride. We harbored the kid all night until we returned him to his house and he left us with the Molly he had left. And that was the stress of my Thanksgiving weekend.

  11. Us ex-pats aren’t given a holiday for Thanksgiving in Australia, so we’re doing it today (Sunday our time). My mum’s family is all still in America, but my step-dad’s brothers and sister-in-law are here. We’ve also got 4 of my 5 siblings here, and my girlfriend too. It’s her first Thanksgiving.

    We’ve been hiding out in my room for most of the day watching DVDs while the cooking is happening. We’re waiting till it’s socially acceptable to start drinking. Last night my mother collapsed and I had to call 000 (911) and we thought she had a stroke, but she’s okay and was brought back home a few hours later. I was left at home with all the kids and my step-dad’s relatives. Needless to say I already have a hangover from the events of last night.

    I’m feeling pretty thankful, though.

  12. My grandpa decided to tell my Aunt that light skinned black people are the “worst of the worst,” because they “don’t belong to the blacks and they don’t belong to the whites.” That was a lecture about her daughter’s new boyfriend, who is black. It also happens that my Aunt is recently divorced and her husband blamed the daughter for dating said boy. (It was really because he was cheating on my Aunt, but that didn’t stop him from blaming her to her face.) So that was nice.

  13. Thanksgiving questions of the day:

    My 65ish year-old aunt: “Do they have Thanksgiving in France?”

    My 21 year-old friend (in response to having Thanksgiving break from my primarily Jewish college): “Do they [Jews] even celebrate Thanksgiving?”

    Unfortunately, I was unable to drink due to an intense hangover from the night before, but on the other hand, the presence of my tofurkey didn’t lead into any deep moral conversations. Also went to a hockey game in Maine with about 25 people from my step-dad’s side of the family who only talked to me to mention how much I look like my mother. That was super duper fun…

  14. I got dumped 3 weeks ago. Did not see that shit coming at all, whatsoever. So yeah, holidays are not seemingly the best for me, but my family is pretty cool mostly and they’ve been supportive. Thanksgiving turned out to totally not be the suck thanks to them.

  15. My post is late because I was at my parents house all weekend WITH NO INTERNET!!
    Highlights include:
    1. Awkwardly watching a documentary on the sexual revolution with my parents
    2. My mom telling me she was “okay with alternative lifestyles, but doesn’t like men in her kitchen” I think this was a hint
    3. Grand coming-out plans went awry when I came down with the flu the day after Thanksgiving and spent the rest of the weekend hugging the toilet.
    Other than that, I had lots of good vegan food and my cousins/uncle fixed my car, saving me probably hundreds of dollars.

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