Straddler On The Street: Jillian

Hi crush monsters, this is Straddler On The Street, a feature where I celebrate all of you incredible Autostraddle readers by hunting you down, demanding you chat with me, and then writing about you on the Internet so we can all crush on you. Get excited, because butterflies in your stomach 24/7 is a fantastic way to live.

Header by Rory Midhani


Straddler On The Street: Jillian, 26

Guys, Jillian made me want to run away to a farm. Specifically her farm, in Kansas. Do you know that I live in Brooklyn and never in my life have I ever considered running away to Kansas? But Jillian made me want to do it for real. I guess she’s just persuasive like that.

When Jillian originally emailed me her submission for this column, she told me she should be my very first Straddler On The Farm. In case I needed more convincing (I didn’t) she pitched herself like this:

I’m a 26 year old queer farmer who moved to Oregon to escape the confines of Red Kansas, met a girl, fell in love, got married, and moved back to Kansas to start the food revolution here with my queer farmermates… and I look great covered in dirt.

Did I mention Jillian is very persuasive and very awesome?

Jillian, 26 with a LAMB

Jillian, 26 with a LAMB

Tell me what it’s like to be queer in Kansas.

It’s an interesting experience, to say the least. I feel like I spend a lot of my time being afraid of ignorant and intolerant people – I’ve dealt with my fair share of threats, been in fights because I’m a queer, and been prayed for more times than I can shake a stick at. Luckily, I have an amazing group of friends who always circle the wagons when they sense danger, and more and more, I’m surprised by the awakening compassion in people who I always thought were against my lifestyle.

Wow, that is both scary and wonderful. Is the atmosphere of Kansas part of why you moved to Oregon for some time?

I moved to Oregon so that I would know whether or not my feelings about Kansas were true. I’m a seventh generation Kansan, and I love my state more than most people love their parents. Getting out was really important to me, and since we’ve had an evil dictator in our governorship for the past three years, I thought it would be a good time to try something else.

Can you talk about some of the things you love about Kansas?

Damn near everything. My body doesn’t function without the wind to power me, and the sound of the meadowlarks singing in the grass and the wind rustling through the cottonwood trees has been my lullaby since birth. The people of Kansas are without a doubt some of the greatest in the world. We work harder and longer than any other people I’ve ever met, and historically have stood for progression and advancement, both socially and agriculturally. My momma lives in Kansas, too, so that’s really the biggest kicker.

What was Oregon like, and why did you decide to move back to Kansas?

I was here in Kansas, miserable, bored, and broke, and my very best bird friend Sarah told me I had to leave. So I looked into WWOOFing in Oregon, close to [my friend] Stacy so that I would have someone familiar in the area.

I ended up at the Gypsy Cafe in Wolf Creek, an intentional art farm, where I got to help finish a cob studio, learned how to grow lots of interesting plants, and how to live in community with others. I had the most enchanted summer of my life… we got to swim in crystal clear rivers, the coast was only 80 miles away, and the redwoods were within driving distance! For a kid from the prairies, seeing that much green was pretty much the best thing ever.

In July, Kalyn arrived as a WWOOFer at the GC, and we fell madly in love. I had intended to return to Kansas last September, but decided to stay in Oregon for awhile longer, and Kalyn and I spent the winter living in a converted school bus at the Gypsy Cafe while I worked for We’Moon, an astrological date book for women that runs out of the main house on the land. I absolutely loved living there, and it gave me a chance to grow and explore my identity in ways that I wouldn’t have been able to if I had stayed in Kansas.

I decided to come home because I missed my people. I have the best group of friends, and my longing for them and for the Kansas wind pulled me right back here.

I was going to ask you about WWOOFing! I think it is a thing I want to do. Now I want to even more. You are married, yes? Did Kalyn move back to Kansas with you?

Kalyn and I got married legally in Seattle on January 25th. We had a wedding here on our farm on May 10th to celebrate with our friends and family, since it was just us in Seattle – my mom watched via Facetime.

Kalyn is pretty much the best thing that ever did happen in my life. She is here with me in Kansas, somewhere she never thought she would live, but so far it’s working out for her. She grew up in the city, in Michigan, so she’s adapting to the Kansas weather and open spaces.



Congratulations! I’m so happy for you guys. Let’s talk farming. Did you grow up farming? What is it like?

I did grow up farming! My dad was a farmer, and his dad before him, and so on and so forth. My life now is much different than it was as a child though, because my dad worked on a much larger, more industrial scale. As a kid, my favorite memories are checking cattle with my pops, and riding in the wheat truck to the elevator.

Now, the farm where I live is working toward building a permaculture, where everything works together to create a sustainable business. We’re in the process of starting a CSA, where we grow food for local families, and we have chickens for both egg and meat production. It’s stressful. We spend a lot of time figuring out the best way to better the lives of our livestock, and how to lower our impact on the Earth, while still producing enough to feed our friends and ourselves. When we strike the right balance though, we’ll be golden.

This is definitely not a life for everyone. I struggle with wanting to be more social [and] more material, but I have to be home around dusk to shut up the chicken coop, and even if I’m hungover, they still need to be let out and fed in the morning, and the plants need to be watered, the crops need to be tended. I’ve gained immense respect for my father, and feel bad about whining on all those Christmases and birthdays when the cows had to be fed before anything fun could happen.

How early do you usually have to wake up?

My natural alarm clock goes off between 6:30 and 7. Our days start around 8 right now, but in the summer we’ll be outside working by 7, so I’ll be up by 5:30.

Yikes! I feel proud if I’m up making tea by 7. I have a question that might sound super dumb, or maybe will just out me as a total city girl with an internet addiction. Do you have internet on the farm?

We do have internet on our farm, but the router only allows one computer to attach to it. I use an actual computer about once a week. Rural internet access is a big issue. We have satellite internet, which gives us about enough bandwidth to watch two episodes of Battlestar Galactica on Netflix. It’s nice. I spend too much time connected on my phone as it is, and not having the additional enticement of my laptop means I spend more time looking at the actual physical world around me.

Wow. I think I’m jealous. I worry that I’m turning into a robo-cyborg but I don’t know how to stop because I am literally paid to sit at a desk and be online all day.

Blurgh. That would drive me insane.

Ha, maybe it is driving me insane! Time will tell!

You’re welcome to come visit us! We have tent space! And work!

Wait I was just about to ask you that. Could I come visit you and work on your farm?!

Um, yes. My wife and I live with a gay boy, Colby, who owns the farm, and Stacy, my WWOOFing friend! We would love to have visitors.

Oh my god okay I am going to take you up on that at some point. Seriously. Relatedly, if someone wanted to hypothetically run away from the city and live on a farm, what would you advise them?

If you want to run away and farm, I would seriously recommend looking in to WWOOFing. It’s the best way to do it. Also read You Can Farm by Joel Salatin. It’s the best book. He gives me hope when I’m sad that I can’t buy all the Brandi Carlile tickets in the world. Ask yourself how you feel about putting your hands in poo. If you think you could never ever do that, then you probably shouldn’t be a farmer.

Hahaha – noted! What are some things you do to relax?

In the spring and summer, we spend our free time mushroom hunting, or fishing, or having all of our close friends over for food. We also spend a few weeks at assorted music festivals, like Wakarusa. In the winter, we don’t do much at all. If we get enough snow we might hook an innertube to the back of the four wheeler and go sledding, or we just stay in and glare at the sun for looking so nice and warm, but being so cold.

When you think about the future, what do you see?

We’re starting a revolution in Kansas. We’ve always been a state that stood for what is right and good in this world, and our farm is going to begin reclaiming that. K and I will raise our family here, in the house we’re hoping to someday build on the homestead just north of where we are now. I’m planning on diversifying our livestock here at Fuller Foods, and I’ll be spending a lot of my time developing sustainable grazing patterns and ethical processing habits so that I can provide healthy, well raised meat to my community.

That all sounds so cool and big and exciting and awesome! On a much smaller scale — what is your absolute favorite meal?

Chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes and gravy, and Brookville corn. I’m glad to know that you don’t think I’m entirely crazy. I visited my grandmother shortly before she passed, and I was telling her that my life plans included farming… she damn near got up out of her hospital bed and clocked me one right there.

I don’t think that sounds crazy at all. Before I let you go, is there anything else you’d like to share with the Autostraddle community?

I want them to come visit us! Especially the ones from Kansas. I know you’re out there. Also. This is a big one for me: Quit eating crap blindly from your grocery store. Please.

And, I love you.

i feel comfortable speaking for everyone and saying that we love you too

i feel comfortable speaking for everyone and saying that we love you too

If you would like to be featured as a future Straddler on the Street, please email vanessa [at] autostraddle [dot] com. Include a few photos, 3-5 sentences about yourself and put “Straddler Submission” in your subject line. Approximately a million people have submitted so far, so please be patient as Vanessa goes through her inbox — you’re all sexy with really smart brains, and don’t you forget it!

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Vanessa is a writer, a teacher, and the community editor at Autostraddle. Very hot, very fun, very weird. Find her on twitter and instagram.

Vanessa has written 404 articles for us.


  1. Woah, did y’all get married after 6 months? Whirlwind courtships always terrify me.

    • I got engaged after 4.5 months and married another 4 later. Sometimes you just know :)

      PS on a semi-related note, the other day I was wearing a tank top, sweatshirt, boxer-briefs, and socks. My husband looked me up and down and then said, “you do you” before going back to his video game.

    • Fo real. I saw this girl in the airport with gorgeous dreadlocks wearing converse and I was hooked. Carried her bag to the truck, got in, got home and set up her tent next door. Love at first sight.

  2. I want to go to the farm. Autostraddle road trip? I feel like a queermo commune is the best idea in life. It’ll teach us city folk how to survive in case of apocalypse. Who’s with me? I look good covered in dirt, too!

    • Yes! I’m coming from Brooklyn but I’m sure there are many NYC queermos who would be down for a road trip!

      • I’d bus to NYC in a second to trek with those headed to the farm, if my passport wasn’t expired. Nerts.

        I’m actually in the middle of farmland in Ontario, Canada. Anyone want to start a queermo commune with me here? I’m stuck in the middle of a resort town during a holiday weekend filled with straight baby adults (or newly minted, or barely of age) getting hammed and imitating Snooki. Halp.

  3. nice to see someone not in the city and being so in love with their land and life! I only have 5 acres and balance it all…keeping the property from overtaking the house with art and sports and loads of friends is tough…sometimes I have to say…sorry got too much to do…keep up the good work, Jillian and K!

  4. I used to be a herd manager for a guy who did things very organic. I could talk all day about the benefits of transitional grazing and how to put the least amount of stress on cows as possible. I miss the nature, physically hard work, and the problem solving we had to do on a regular basis. I think big cities crush my soul but my job plans are leading me down that path.. uncool..
    But you sound super awesome! Color me impressed. :)

  5. Wow, just wow! I spent all of last year wwoofing on an off the grid organic farm. The farmer went away for three weeks and I was left alone to care for 8 goats, 10 ducks and all of the plants, let me tell you, I gained a new found respect for people who choose to farm for a living. IT IS HARD WORK! I would wake up some morning with my hands stuck in fist from hours and hours of milking. I think what you are doing is amazing! Maybe one day I can make it to Kansas and spend some time with you and your crew!?! Keep up the good work!

  6. This is a very cool interview. I just looked it up for Canada and I think I will try WWOOFing once I graduate college

  7. I’m from Kansas and I’ll be back there for about a month this summer and I want to come visit you! Where’s your farm at? Do you have an email that I can contact you at?

  8. I love hearing about farm queers! I grew up in rural Oregon forever trying to get my garden to actually grow despite being in the shade of old-growth Doug firs, and failing to keep the horses from turning the pasture into a mud pit every winter. I live in a small city now, and it is a terrible fit. I hate city sounds, the air smells disgusting, there isn’t much of a queer scene and even if there were I’m so stressed by being constantly surrounded by thousands of people that I doubt I’d even really take advantage of it. I can’t even have a dog, let alone goats or horses. All I can do is obsess over my container garden and save up money in the hopes that I can someday buy some land and rescue a few pasture ornaments and get my permaculture on.

    …that turned into a gigantic ramble, but tl;dr I love hearing about rural queer folks who go out to see the world and then bring the world back with them when they come back home :3

  9. MUSHROOM HUNTING. This is actually the most epic activity I have heard of for a long time.

    Also, next A-Camp location…????

  10. Love love loved this. Thanks for sharing your super awesome self, Jillian. I get too cynical oftentimes thinking about the dearth of queerness in places like Kansas, you’re doing amazing things there.

  11. I am from Kansas and was super excited to see this interview! I love the state and I’m saddened that Gov. Brownback is terrible. I’m also from rural north-central Kansas and I love the area where I grew up and would like to live somewhere rural one day, but I’m not ready to do that yet. There’s just a lack of social opportunities for lgbtqa people. I’ll be moving to Kansas City soon for that reason (not that it’s totally ideal, but better than some places). I, too, am interested in farming and rural development. My hometown of 2,000 people is actually in an upswing because younger people are coming back for a variety of reasons (including the Rural Opportunity Zone program). Teach me how to farm. Free State Pride.

      • Dude, I grew up in Salina! I was thrilled to read this and see you’re from Kansas. The entire time I kept thinking, “Which part? Which part?”

  12. This just further convinces me that when the apocalypse comes, all us queers will be the only ones left standing.

    But probably not me because I still eat frozen pizza sometimes.

  13. When I first saw this, I was rather excited to read something that was nostalgic for a prairie that wasn’t a pesky Canadian one but then I read that not only are you from my home-geographical region you are from my home-state. This only upped my excitement and as I read on, heartstrings pulled etcetera etcetera(quite well written by the way), I started to recognize parts of this essay: a phrase here, a name there. I kept scrolling to that final picture and I knew exactly where you took it.It was then that I realized not only are you from my home-state but you were in my home-town(or right outside… farm and all).
    My worlds are colliding, what a curious thing.
    Sidenote: Where do you get your hair cut? I can’t find anyone that can “get” me.
    Sidenote 2: I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think the governor is a jackwagon or perhaps I don’t want to.
    Sidenote 3: Did I finally find/make a time machine and come back to the past to inspire/prompt me? ‘Cause I am a-okay with that.

    • Answer to question #1. I go to Salon Del5ive. Amy generally cuts my hair. :-)
      YOU LIVE IN EMPORIA? let’s hang out.

  14. I went on a field trip to the KS capital a few weeks ago. We all had the opportunity to sit at Brownback’s desk. I farted on his chair.

    • I think all of us here in KS now bow down to your epicness. I hope it was stinky as hell.

    • You’re my hero. He hit on me once while I was working concessions at a KSU game…I’ve never wanted to spit in someone’s popcorn so badly.
      Also, anyone else miss Kathleen Sebelius? I sure do.

    • AS Kansas meetup itinerary:
      Group fart in Brownback’s office
      Drive on to Jillian’s farm

  15. Wow. Hey. Hi. Two things: one, I have some friends who have a farm in Kansas who moved here from Oregon. They run a zine distro called Pioneers Press. They are awesome. Two, I live in Kansas City (Missouri side) and will legit come out and work for you guys if you ever need it, because I’m looking for a change. And am totally willing to do hard work.

  16. Right! We have Governer McDoucher Douchey Pants. He needs to goooooo.

    Also, I am SO all about eating clean. Clean is the best!

  17. Hi Jillian, how does it feel to cuddle a calf or goat and then eat another of that species later?

    Does diversifying make it easier?



    • Hi Lulu,

      Eating the livestock I’ve raised has always just been another part of life for me. Even as a small girl, I was aware that the bucket calf in the garage would someday be on my plate. As a result, I respect and honor each and every animal that I raise, and attempt to give them the happiest life I can.


  18. Honoring animals you eat what a contradiction.

    Do you let them grow old and die happy before you eat them?

    • I didn’t realize otters were averse to the consumption of animal products, given their own carnivorous eating habits. Huh.

    • I’m a lifelong vegetarian, so let me get that out there right now.

      I’d also like to add that I could never raise an animal and then eat it. I can’t even throw out dying plants half the time, and I have to get friends throw out molding birthday cake from my mother because it makes me weepy. In short, I cried over the Ikea lamp commercial, okay? I’m a wimp.


      I can respect those who raise and eat their own animals. I can respect those who grow and harvest their own food. I defy anyone who buys their happy organic food and compassionate fair trade this or that from the grocery store to plot the path from farm or field to organically weaved hemp grocery sack with perfect knowledge that there has been no trespasses made against any living organism. I recognize that’s not quite your point, but I do have to say I’ve got a bit of a pre-existing bone to pick with deeply sarcastic folk such as yourself.

      From what it appears to me, Jillian does what most of us would never deign (or fail utterly, or comically in my case) to do. She attempts to live in balance as much as humanly (which we as a species tend to do improperly) possible. She loves and cares for the animals she thanks and honours for providing food.

      We ARE omnivores as a species, but are fortunate enough to enjoy the privilege to do otherwise. I respect her choice. I respect her methods, and frankly, without providing some kind of argument over and above your comment dripping with passive aggressive judgment, I fail to see a thoughtful or intelligible critique emerge.

      So if you will excuse me I’m going to go hug my cat because reasons involving being annoyed.

  19. This was a super interesting interview to read! Kudos!

    There’s one thing you mentioned that I’m curious about -“Quit eating crap blindly from your grocery store.” Would you be able to expand more on what you mean by this?

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