“Sorry I was tripping balls at your birthday party and almost got everyone killed with a t-shirt cannon.”

We’re back with our weekly column about all the queer stuff that’s happening on television that we don’t have time to recap!

One Big Happy is getting funnier and funnier, Nyssa Al Ghul is back to kicking ass on Arrow, and Sam and Laura finally go on their honeymoon on Newlyweds: The First Year.

Luisa returns to Jane the Virgin with a new girlfriend, Root gets closer to finding Shaw on Person of Interest, Nyssa gets engaged (and not in a good way) on Arrow, Maggie takes a pregnant woman home on Younger, and more!

One Big Happy is coming to NBC in March. So soon!

Sure, some things need to be said when they need to be said, but apparently “that’s the guy from Lost!” is not one of those things?

THIS IS MY LAST GLEE RECAP EVER!!!! GET IN HERE.

Only one more week before the Big A reveal!

The pAtriArchy is A, just as we suspected.

Daya’s STILL pregnant. We shouldn’t ever douche with Lysol or let the bed bugs out of our chia poons. Also, sex stuff happened. Bring enough snacks for the group and get in here!

Jude and Connor pinky hug while Stef and Lena glower at each other.

If we had a Time-Turner, this list would be 1,000 stories long.

Callie went on an off-screen date with that dude cop and hated him. We did all that processing for nothing!

“Ruth lifts her head, smiles demure and sweet, her lips swollen with kissing. ‘Can’t miss a chance to minister to a heathen like you, Idgie.'”

Since Brittney Griner is joining the allstar lady gay crew of brides on Say Yes to the Dress, let’s celebrate our favorite queer lady wedding moments in the series so far.

Alison and Donnie sell drugs like ice creams, Sarah and Art track down Mark, Cosima does a brain extraction, and Helena is flawless.

Lena and Stef keep secrets from each other, and it is not good. Worse, though, is Jude and/or Connor gets shot!

Enough Cosima and Delphine sweetness (and smut) to keep you occupied until this weekend’s season three premiere.

In which we discuss The 100, its badass bisexual protagonist Clarke, and the heartbreakingest gay commander this side of outer space.

Jude and Connor come out, and Monty finally stops keeping her lips to herself.