Guides often suggest a masturbation practice, getting to know your own unique fantasies, or even challenging yourself to watch porn. But there’s no one perfect method; here’s a bit of a different approach!
No one is bad at sex.
![Illustration of a erotic video site called Fet Tube. A video of a woman lying nude with a microphone pointed down between her legs is in the process of playing. There’s a look of ecstasy on her face and her fingers languidly part her mouth open. A pop-up window is overlaid across her that says “Send me a private message for only $9.99!“. The title of the video below reads “18+ NSFW ASMR - Listen to my BODY & RELAX :) [Adults only vibes]“. The user bio reads “Welcome to my body party. Enjoy the relaxing sounds of my microphones brushing against my leg hairs.” in the sidebar are thumbnails for other porn videos.](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/slick-wannacyber.jpg?fit=640%2C320)
Mostly I had chalked my ambivalence up to stifling antidepressants and emotional avoidance. Was I gutted of desire or was this a case of under exposure? Or was I supposed to own my simpleton truth and scream from a cliff, “I just want to dim the lights and be pegged, goddamnit!”
Stretching can certainly prevent your muscles from getting sore, but focusing on your posture and form will give you the best finger sex results.
Because of the positive affirmation I received during sex, I began to believe it was all I was good for. When people wanted me, I assumed it was my job to provide joy for other people. I gave myself to a lot of people in that way. I had to remember that I had a right to pleasure as well.
You can’t change your partner, or her sex drive. All you can change is the situation you’re in.
Finally, Danielle and Joanna are reunited are years of radio silence. Will Joanna’s voice still move Danielle as strongly as she remembers?
There’s a difference between domination as a way to take control or claim power over another person — the way certain lovers have done with me — versus domination as a way to provide comfort and care, and to grow one’s power without harming anyone else.
How have you defined (or not) your role over time? Has it changed, did you at first think you “were” one thing and now you ID differently? how did that feel and what did it bring up? How do you ID now, and where do you see it as part of that ~ journey ~?
A spectre is haunting queer sexting — the spectre of “duck.” Here’s how to fix your autocorrect and what to add to your dictionary for better queer sexting.
Severed and shamed by their church as teenagers, Danielle and Joanna are reunited years later by the very same song that propelled them into their sexual awakening years ago.
It seems contradictory to say I learned how to view my body as my own by sharing it with strangers and friends, but it is a truth that I revel in. What I love and learn about these encounters are the parameters of my body, its strengths, and boundaries, what pleases it.
Can two switches have sex? I think so, and I think there is something beautifully different about having sex with someone with whom sexual options are truly abundant.
There is a different level of intimacy and affirmation that I have found when having sex with other fat people. Thin people approach the fat body like a series of insecurities. They see the swell of a stomach or rolls of fat on the back and assume that you hate those parts of your body. When another fat person touches me, it is to be made whole.
“Porn and MTV made me feel like every time I had lesbian sex there would be fireworks, crying and cuddling. Not the case.”
Life moves fast. Time is a warp. It’s possible that you missed some of these tension-filled erotic S L I C K moments. Join A+ so you can read the slow, tight tension — right before the frenzy — that I love to revisit.
I wanted you to dominate me, Daddy, and you relished the chance. The leather straps twirled through the air as the pain grew sharper and more familiar. It stung hard. And it felt so fucking good.
While we’re figuring out how to communicate six feet apart after months of cruising Lex, I figured it’d be a good time to share my zine Yes I’m Flagging: Queer Flagging 101.
“Ms. DeLovely, will you please stop by during my office hours?” Your voice stern, but laced with sweet concern. I’m already dripping. Clearly this is a role you were born to play. “Yes, Professor Luna.”
When I teach Rachel how to tie me up and fist me, when I ask her to tell me what to do, when I teach her exactly how I want to submit, I give her permission to go on a journey with me and dive into an expanding world of pleasure.