Hi. How are you? Have you had a weird or hard day? Do you have a bad case of the Tuesdays? Do you have a case of the stomach flu? Are you sick of selling shoes or teaching children to read all day? Did your girlfriend spill her soy milk all over the kitten/kitchen? Do you feel like THIS:

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  2. why are there so many cats [this section of the comment has been removed as it is blatantly and absolutely in complete and total violation of this post’s comment policy as explained in the post] there arent enough dogs and this makes me SOO angry! do you feel the anger!

    jk i love cats. WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT

  3. Morrissey, tell them why I’m upset:
    I was looking for a job, and then I found a job. And heaven knows I’m miserable now.

  4. Dear red ribbon,
    Thank you for making me friends on the internet. Because of you, strangers have called me adorable. Thanks to you, my hair looks stylish. And sometimes my neck looks stylish too. You are so versatile. You are flexible and I can tie you in so many knots. Like, All of the Knots. Also, you are a very beautiful shade of red. It’s like a cherry or a cardinal on my head, but with less killing of birds or rotting of fruits.

  5. The random one episode romantic interest guys they keep throwing on Rizzoli and Isles.

    Really annoying.

    (Of course, I’d be more annoyed if they weren’t one episode…)

    More seriously, I’m annoyed with fact that some religious group (which, ironically, has Constitutional Freedom in its name) already filed a lawsuit against gay marriage in New York.

    Yep. More freedom by denying freedom. I guess it makes perfect sense to… someone?

    • That’s so funny, I was JUST about to post a comment about how I’m pissed that I can’t get more of season 1 of Rizzoli and Isles streaming online! And the torrent I downloaded is in funky MLV or whatver the sam hell. So I’m pissed because natch I’m gonna be up till 5 a.m. AGAIN, this time because I’ll want to wait for the new torrent to download then watch it then waste more time on Autostraddle/Facebook/Spankwire/idk.

        • Gaahh I has the Mac. Divx Plus is supposed to support MKV files but it isn’t supporting these particular ones, for some reason. Maybe I have to make sure the new version is the one installed, not the old one.

    • I also want to tell her I want to see her but I DON’T KNOW HER NUMBER AND WE AREN’T OFFICIALLY FRIENDS YET. XD

  6. i feel like that reading time comment was a trick…..on one hand awesome it got the omg award (in capital letters) on the other hand…..shit no more reading time bombs. this makes me sad, but guess what time for one more.

    IT’S READING TIME!!!!!!!!!!


    • The same thing happened to me, except she stopped talking to me altogether.


    • This my my life right now, except she told me she loved me, made out with me, but said she couldn’t be with me.

      Queers, we’re so attached to our baggage! Now all I wanna do is making out with cute queers and consensually beat each other up.

      I want to tell her I love her.
      I want to make out with her.
      But I really should tell her we can’t be together.
      I move away soon and cannot deal with a long distance relationship. In a way I wish she would make out with me and drive off. And then it would feel final, instead of like I kinda had a choice. Which I do, but I know that if I can’t resist bring myself to tell her that it can’t happen, then it’s gonna end badly.
      Guys, would you have felt better if your girl had/hadn’t made out with you? I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop myself…

  8. p.s. why isn’t there more megan rapinoe [deleted in violation of very strict comment policy regarding the topic of this post] ….this is a real problem

  9. OMG, I need this so badly right now!! I’m up at 2 AM, too full of thoughts to sleep, and I have to wake up to go to work in less than four hours. D:

    Okay, so the issue troubling me is that I’m nearly 22, have never been in a relationship (full disclosure: I’ve never even kissed anyone!), and I’m starting to worry that something is not necessarily wrong with me… but definitely abnormal. I’ve been on plenty of dates, but seem to have an inability to feel chemistry with anyone as of late. The only women I’ve ever been interested in have been a) straight, b) taken, or c) 20 years my senior. Meanwhile, my friends are starting to get married and even those who aren’t have begun telling me that they’re worried that I’ll never find anyone. Um, thanks for the encouragement?

    I don’t know why I’m so rarely attracted to/interested in anyone, and am becoming more and more perplexed as to what this means for my future. I was reading a thread on AS a while ago where lots of people were posting about how hesitant they were to get into a relationship with anyone who had never had a girlfriend before, and now I’m getting kind of sort of terrified that even if I DO find someone I like, they’ll reject me because they’ll be afraid that I’ll be clingy or not know what to do in bed etc., etc., etc.

    I’ve known I was a lesbian since I was 13; I came out when I was 14. I feel like I’m an inexcusably late bloomer relationship-wise, and maybe I would have an excuse if I had JUST realized I was gay, but as it stands, I feel like a freak of nature. I know that these feelings/thoughts make no sense, but they keep popping into my head anyways!

    Most troubling of all to me is that I feel the need to justify myself and my (lack of) romantic history. I am not usually the type of person to feel the need to justify my choices or actions, and I’m sad that this issue is making me feel so insecure. My life is otherwise fabulous – I’m studying what I love, have a job that’s emotionally fulfilling, and have studied abroad in several countries (and plan on doing so again in the near future). However, this shit is driving me B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

    Now that i got that off my chest, I’m going to attempt to get some sleep. ILU AS. Thanks for listening!

      • I’m sort of in the same boat, not for all the things you mentioned but most – I’ve never been in a real, committed relationship, came out relatively early (18), travelled/lived/studied in a lot of different places, am happy with my current situation in every other way. But yeah, this fact does trouble me, not for the social brownie points, but because sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever feel truly close to another person, and that makes me feel very different. At the same time, I’m very reluctant to do this with just anyone – I feel that it will take someone truly special for me to open up/be vulnerable to them, and anyone who I think doesn’t fit that, I basically write off. Perhaps it’s judgmental or pre-emptive of me to do so, but… it just feels like it would go against my nature to be with someone I don’t trust completely.

        Anyway, I know what you mean about not being attracted to many people – it’s the same for me, I’m rarely interested in someone else, and when I do, yeah, it’s usually one of the three scenarios you mentioned. ;-)

        Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone. :-)

        • Also, in addition to my reply a few posts down, I cannot help but be enthralled by the fact that your name means “fish of the day” in Swedish. Heja Sverige!

          • It sure does! Although I actually “stole” it from a restaurant (presumably a seafood restaurant) when I was in Copenhagen last month. I admit to being a little bit in love with the Scandinavian countries ever since I first went to Sweden in the summer of 2009. Some friends invited me over to their place for a week, and then last summer I spent a whole month there. I loved it so much that I almost went to Uppsala for study abroad, but there was some issue with getting their courses transferred since I’m in my last year, so I ended up coming to Germany instead (definitely no flak from me, I’m just finishing up my exchange year here and had an amazing time!)

            So what’s your Sweden story? Have you lived/studied there, or do you just have an inexplicable crush on it, like I do? : )

          • That’s so awesome!! I love traveling, and the Scandinavian countries are amazing and super gay. I keep wanting to share my Sweden story via private message, but it keeps redirecting me back to this thread! Help, gaiz?

            Anyways, I studied Swedish here in the US from age 7 to 16 each summer at a Swedish language immersion camp, and then I lived there for six months after high school. :D I’ve never been to Denmark, but I did get the opportunity to travel to Finland and absolutely loved it! Also, also, also, I studied German for half a year in high school! (Because I have language ADD and have a compulsive desire to be able to speak to EVERYONE all over the world in their native language.) What part of Germany did you go to for your exchange?

            This thread is making my day so much better. Fer srs.

          • Oh, I REALLY want to PM you to say things, and also to ask you a whole load of really important questions about Finland, but the PM button seems to be broken? I mean, unless you’ve received the same message 56 times from me – in which case I’m really sorry. Anyway, if you feel like hearing me say things/ask you really important questions about Finland, do you have an email address you don’t mind sharing on an open-thread wall?

            (Literally no problem if you do, I figure that the PM button will be fixed eventually?)

    • This is just to say, You are not alone and there is hope. This coming from a 27 yr old who’s first relationship/1st gf basically 1st everything occurred at 23. Going strong Almost 5 years-later. While I didn’t necessaily lack feeling attracted to people, I was definitely shy and insecure! So stop worrying seriously! If someone got through my walls there’s hope for anyone :)

      • I was 20 when my gf of 1 yr 8m broke up with me and kicked me out. She didn’t feel like I was ready to “settle down” because I was too young. I’m 26 now and I haven’t been in a long term relationship since. I think one of the reasons I haven’t put myself out there is because I’m afraid I’m going to fall in love with someone, move in with them, and then when they get bored with me they will leave me just like my ex did. Why go through all that just to wind up alone?!!!!!!!

        • If I’ve learned anything it’s that if you don’t allow yourself to be open to that sort of thing you’ll never experience all the wonderfully positive aspects of committed relationships. Don’t let the end of one relationship determine the rest of your life! That’s just silly! You do you and someday the right person will come along that also wants to do you ;) you see what I did there? ;)

    • I feel so much less alone now… Thank you everyone!

      D. F., I feel EXACTLY THE SAME. I, too, am worried that maybe I’ll never be emotionally close to anyone, and that makes me feel detached from everyone else. Like perhaps they have something common to most of humanity that I’m mysteriously lacking… Like I’m just different.

      I also agree completely with the need for a meaningful relationship. My friends keep telling me to hurry up, go out there, and just get laid, but that’s not what I want. I don’t have anything against casual sex, but I don’t feel like it would be right for ME. I can’t imagine being with someone who I didn’t know or didn’t trust completely. That’s the one thing I really struggle with… being vulnerable. I want to trust someone so badly, but I can’t open up to just anyone, you know? Anyways, I can really relate to everything you said. :D

      Michelle: I’m so sorry that happened – no wonder you’re worried about being left again! That must be really scary to think about.

      • Yep, yep, and yep… wow. It’s like you just attached a pipeline from my brain leading straight into your post.

        Also, this entire thread just reminds me of this scene from Being Erica :

        Awesome show, btw, and it’s shot in Toronto too!! It’s always so weird when you see places you see everyday on tv… I totally did a double take the other day when I watched Mean Girls for the first time (yes, I’ve been living under a rock…) and saw one of my university buildings in the background.

      • sk: I just pm’d you. Let me know if it worked or not! Also, for some reason, it won’t let me reply to your post, so I have to reply to an earlier one.

        Why must technology be so challenging?! :(

    • you and i need to have tea or something because i was in only one relationship in my entire life and it was with some guy (most awkward 6 months of my life). the girl i’m interested in is 15 years older than me and doesn’t want to date anyone under the age of 25 (i’m 22) and i’ve never even been out on what you could call a “real date” with a girl. I’ve tried to meet new girls, but i don’t feel that kind of attraction to most of them, but the ones i do find attractive are always in relationships. i don’t feel like being in a relationship will validate my existence or even validate the fact that i’m gay. i just worry that i’ll end up like you said, being the girl someone’s afraid to date cause they’d be my first girlfriend. *shrugs shoulders*

      • Then again, why would you want to get involved with someone who would let something so unimportant stand in the way of having a relationship with you?

        … that’s what I keep telling myself anyway. It’s actually kinda hypocritical of me to say that since I feel this way at times as well : \

        • yeah, i try to tell myself that, but it’s hard cause i’m just attracted to her. i can’t help that and i certainly can’t will myself not to be and i guess she and i are friends now or something like that so i get the extra dose of fun with being in the infamous “friend zone” *ugh*

      • Yes! Gay lady bonding & processing tea time! I would totally go for that.

        I completely agree – I don’t feel like I NEED a relationship or am a less complete person because I’m not in one, but I still have that niggling feeling that some time down the road, maybe I’ll regret waiting so long. And I SO feel you on the falling for someone older than you but having it be an impossibility because of the age difference. Believe me, I feel your pain. Honestly, I think that maturity level should count for much more than age, but I guess the fact that two people at two different ages are at very different points in their lives is inescapable. :(

        I also tell myself that! “If she feels that way, she’s not right for me anyways”, and try to make myself feel better and convince myself that it’s all for the best. But in the back of my head, I still want them! Argh!

        WHY, LIFE? WHY U SO HARD??

    • i am not in the exaaact same boat but blah. i’m also 22 (turning 23 in a month. insert stereotypical angst about not wanting to get old here) and i wasted 4 years of my life dating a guy (urgh, bitter about this) and i’ve been on a few ‘date-like’ outings with girls but i haven’t had a girlfriend-type situation since middle school. also i think i might be asexual now and that is just a whole other confusing thing.

  10. i just want an old school pudding pop. the delicious ones with the oh so thin icy film coating them. preferably swirl but really any flavor would do. they no longer make them, and this is adversely affecting my mood and overall well-being. i was just considering taking this up with bill cosby directly but i am taking it to autostraddle first because the complaint was invited.

    • if you’re speaking of Jello pudding pops… I have some in my freezer.

      I THOUGHT THEY DISAPPEARED FOREVER. But last summer I found them in Delaware, then in PA. Which means the ones in my freezer are a year old. So you probably wouldn’t want them anyway.

      • WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME THATS SUCH FANTASTIC NEWS. how could kraft be so stupid? i knew they just couldnt be that blind to the needs of their customers. i live in georgia and unfortunately travel to delaware or PA is not an option. but just knowing they are somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight/sleeping underneath the same big sky/in your freezer, makes me feel better about life. its all about possibility. the promise of the jello pops of tomorrow. thank you for this.

  11. We seriously have like and dislike buttons now? Awesoome!

    I am transferring to a new college in a completely different area this fall and I am fucking TERRIFIED. My being terrified infuriates me!!

    • ohmygod me too. and i have been waiting for this moment for two years now and now that its here, i’m getting fucking homesick. FEELINGS, WHY U NO MAKE SENSE?!

      • I am in a similar position, I am moving overseas for six months after committing to it late last year… I obviously wanted to do it or I wouldn’t have signed up for it, but now the moment is here, I am freaking the fuck out about leaving everything I know and love for such an extended period of time.

        • Me too! I’m not transferring until the spring, but I’m already both super excited and unbelievably nervous. I think I’m going to try to make some queer friends in Madison before I move there so I’ll know a few people right off the bat.

          Still… I’m so scared!

          • Guys, I have moved far away to go to college and lived abroad. It is scary, but it is SOOOOOOO worth it. Being scared and overcoming that fear is a part of the process. It is all going to be awesome! Promise!

          • Thank you Alice, I needed to hear that :D

            Since this is an open thread I may as well use the opportunity to overshare massively… I used to have debilitating anxiety and looking back I would never have imagined being healthy or brave enough to do something like this. I think there are traces of that anxiety that are the reason why I’m so scared, but it’s nice that these days big moves don’t make me sick :D

        • No worries dizzy, there are nice queers over here! *waving*

          i moved here 6 years ago.. ’twas scary at first, but now i feel more at home here, than i’ve ever felt anywhere..

          “There comes a time when suddenly you realize that laughter is something you remember and that you were the one laughing” – Marlene Dietrich

          • Thank you Marie, that was a lovely thing to say… the Marlene Dietrich quote was an especially nice touch :)

            I am glad you feel at home in Denmark, it seems like a very peaceful and progressive society… Where do you come from originally? Did you say you lived in Bornholm? I am in Jutland (so if I learn to speak Danish I’ll speak it with a Jutland accent and people from Copenhagen will make fun of me!).

            Naturally I’m a homebody and I find it very hard to be so far from home… but after all, how scary can a country with an island named Lolland be? ;)

          • ;)
            It really is.. I’m originally from Greenland, and grew up in a place very different from this. Went here to study, and have liked it from the start.
            Heh, no not Bornholm, i live in Odense. It’s a city just between copenhagen and Aarhus, on an Island called Fyn. (Funen)
            Actually people from jutland are much worse at making fun of peoples accents.. I go to school with a lot of ’em and they make fun of my ‘Copenhagen accent’ all the time! :P with a jutland accent you’ll be just fine! ;)

          • From Greenland! To an Australian that’s an amazing place to be from, as far away from here as it’s possible to be… do you speak Kalaallisut? Or do many Greenlanders speak only Danish?

            Oh that’s right, you mentioned Odense, I had my wires crossed… and I am living in Aarhus actually. I’ll have to visit Funen!

            That’s funny to know about Jutland accents, because the people who told me that Zealanders laughed at their accent, were from Jutland! So now I know the truth is quite different :p

          • (um, the reply button seems to be missing, so i hope my post won’t end up somewhere random..)

            yes! gawd it’s really far, isn’t it?! :D i always wanted to go to australia.. (especially when i was a teenager, and just wanted to get hella outta there, and as far away as possible.. LOL..) ..anyways.. yes! i do speak kallallisut! :D so cool you know about this, most people don’t really know much about us up there..
            most people speak kalaallisut as a first language and danish as a second language, i just did it the other way around because my mom is danish..
            you must visit, it’s really lovely here.. :)
            well, i guess the accent thing goes both ways.. there is a lot of friendly competition between people in copenhagen and aarhus.. :)

  12. Why did I finally let myself make plans again?

    Last year, I had the worst yet of several breakdowns, resulting in a very dark attempt at giving Life the finger, which was thwarted by drunken incompetency (mine) and fate (in the form of a random phone call). Miserable and rejected by someone I thought I loved, I was done. No more ideas of how I wanted my life to be. No more thoughts about a career or romance or my kitten or my pride. No more plans.

    The turning point came a few months later, with a new love interest and the most promising of career opportunities I had yet to encounter. I was in control of my own life again. I could breath, finally. Hard work is supposed to be rewarded, right? I did more than my share and all for the sake of making something of my life that I could have respect for. I dealt with lazy business partners, cranky clients and the general insanity that comes with starting your own business.
    After years of hiding who I am for the sake of other’s comfort, I came out of my closet, only to face further rejection from those I had expected support from.

    As of today, I have officially been forced to resign from that company due to being completely screwed over by my business partners and now former best friends.
    The girl I met and have subsequently fallen for, will not tell me that she loves me because her love is admittedly conditional.
    It is entirely plausible that by the end of next month, I will be completely broke, be homeless and be alone again…



    • Things will turn around again, as they did before. Keep your chin up. Maybe see a therapist. <3 good luck bb.

      • Sometimes your therapist tells you you don’t have the right kind of insurance or that she’s not seeing anyone but new clients. Just me?

    • That is so disappointing! And unfair!! I’m sorry life sucks right now for you. Also: conditional love?! You deserve better!

    • Also I’m bisexual and she’s bisexual and I think she likes a guy but I know I like her.
      And we have a coffee date tomorrow during which I want to make her date me/forget he exists.

      • Yuuhhh we should cry together sometime. I’m just feeling a real affinity with you right now. I met this girl online like a few months ago and we talked for like a month and a half and a WEEK, a fuckin WEEK before we met up she stopped answering my calls/texts for two days then told me, yep, she met someone else. I feel part of her reason for not wanting to give me a chance is because she didn’t believe I could have a serious relationship with a woman because I’m bisexual. I know chances are we would NOT have had a serious relationship but it hurts not being given a chance. We also would have had amazing sex. I love this rant thread. FEELINGS

        • YES. Bitches be playin’.
          She oscillates between hinting about casual sex to discussing what she wants out of relationships. I feel like grabbing her by those very sexy shoulders of hers and screaming

    • I have teenage angst, yet I ceased to be a teenager on April 21st of 7 years ago. What.

  13. my friends are all coupling up and it makes me sangry? BUT ALSO happy for them but I guess this is not the place to discuss that aspect of it!


    • I KNOW, ME TOO! On one hand, I’m super happy for them. But on the other hand, I’m so jealous and alonely!




      (Is this an appropriate amount of complaining/anger? I don’t want to overexpose my bitterness and anger too early)

      • THIS^ everyone in the world has a boyfriend and it makes me all angsty and bitter


    i feel better. thanks guys.

    • On the bright side, you have a puppy. There is a high probability that said puppy will be deployed as a so-called ‘chick magnet’ in the near future. Whether this is feasible or not depends on the cuteness of the puppy and the ratio of interested women with dog issues/interested women without dog issues, but at the end of the day, you’ll still have a puppy. QED, all will be well.

  15. I’ve spent the last two days sitting in a hotel room in Melbourne working on a project that’s due tomorrow but is totally unachievable unless room service comes to restock the coffee but they won’t come, maybe it’s too late, maybe they hate me, maybe Melbourne has some sort of Responsible Service of Coffee law that I don’t know about and I’ve been cut off. Out of desperation I’ve turned to this canned raspberry vodka crap from the minibar which i’d hoped would contain red food colouring but now that I’ve tasted it I suspect it actually contains red paint thinner. Next stop is Ballarat and i can’t even.


    • EVERY TIME WE GO TO MELBOURNE WE HAVE TO MAKE A TRIP TO BALLARAT! I’ve been to that damn goldfield more times than I’ve been to the South Island.

      Apparently it’s a happening place or somethin? This one time, we even went to a party at a pub. AND THERE WERE PEOPLE!

    • But Melbourne is the Australian capital of coffee! I feel angry for you.
      And why are you going to Ballarat?

      • My employer has offices in Melbourne and Ballarat. My other employer that isn’t Autostraddle.

      • IT WAS. It tasted horrible. But it was either that or a can of Jack Daniels and coke and I just couldn’t go there.

  16. OK SO I HAVE THIS REALLY AMAZING AND WONDERFUL GF. SHE IS FRIENDS W/ALL HER EXES. THAT IS NOT MY STYLE. I’VE MET ALL OF THEM AND TWO ARE MARRIED SO NBD. THE MOST RECENT ONE THOUGH HAS MAJOR DEPENDENCY ISSUES/PROBS SOME JEALOUSLY ISSUES/AND NEEDS TO HAVE SOME RESPECT FOR THE BOUNDARIES OF A RELATIONSHIP. I’VE BEEN WORKING REALLY HARD ON BEING SUPPORTIVE AND UNDERSTANDING OF SAID FRIEND B/C I DON’T THINK ITS FAIR TO PLAY THE “CHOOSE ME OR HER” GAME. OK, I am going to stop yelling. Anyways, so she stayed over at our place the other night. She stayed in our guest room and most of the rest of the next day while I was at work. When my girlfriend woke up her friend is still in our other room “hiding” cause she heard our intimate times.She was mad at my g/f and wouldn’t make eye contact until My Gf “fibbed” and said were had just been fooling around. I understand that it can be uncomfortable to hear someone having sex(for the record we weren’t that loud)…..BUUUUT you are in our space and who the F are you to think you have a right to throw a fit about it happening in our own house?? So anyways, she leaves in the afternoon after we all hang out for a bit more and then today brings it up via text w/my gf again saying how it made her uncomfortable blah blah blah. This isn’t the first issue I’ve had with this girl. A few months back they were hanging out and talking about the crappy relationship the Ex had been in at the time and she tells my GF she can really appreciate everything GF had done for her and if it had been another time or another place maybe it would of worked out! WHO THE FUCK SAYS THAT. You can be a friend and say thanks for all you’ve done for me…but the last sentence crosses a line. ANYWAYS!!! How do I stay super Zen when dealing with her?? And will my GF ever get a clue about this girls true character and finally dump her??

    • oof. I feel like I just re-entered my last relationship while reading this.

      Having the “I want your friends to respect our relationship” talk _sucks_ and it’s even worse once you realize that the real problem is that YOUR girlfriend is the one who isn’t showing respect for YOUR relationship with YOU. Btw it was multiple friends/exes of my ex’s that had this respect problem. Two in particular crossed SO MANY LINES and my ex never did a thing about it.

      Anyway, my ex “realized” (or said she realized, which for her IS NOT THE SAME as actually realizing) this relationship respect thing at some point when we were on a 3-month break-up trial period or something, and stupidly I took her back.

      It didn’t last.

      Wow, this really doesn’t help you, does it.

      Probably should have entered this as my own rage comment, since sometimes, almost 3 years later, I am still so fucking mad at her.

      • Well I can also honestly say that I can be a little melodramatic at times. Because my GF had already stopped being available 24/7 for her ex. They’ve been friends for 7 years and my GF is this girls bff. So I get that its going to take time to adjust not being able to have my GF at her beck and call BUT this girl needs to speed up adjusting time. My lady is also mad at this girl because she knows her friend was out of line. The only thing that really makes me mad is that my GF lied in the first place to accommodate her friends tantrum. My GF and I did talk about that and she knows it wasn’t cool. So I don’t know. My GF and I have been talking about becoming partners legally and the only thing that makes me nervous is this girl. Not because I don’t trust my girlfriend…but because I don’t trust this manipulative, emo wreck of an ex of hers. WHY CAN’T I JUST TELL THIS GIRL TO TAKE A HIKE???

    • Who hides for half a day because they heard sex the night before? I know there’s more to this post, but it wasn’t even her house to hide in! If hearing her ex traumatized her so much, she could have gone back to her own damn house.

      Angry FOR YOU.

      • Exactly!!!! Thank you!!! I would think the general rule of thumb would be to be polite and IGNORE it and not mention it the next day! This girl is also going through a break up so I guess she is just sad cause she’s not in a relationship?? But regardless, don’t be an asshole. OY vey!!


      that makes me so angry!

      • BECAUSE

        I’m tired of having sex with people I dislike and/or dislike me.

        Cause that makes me ANGRIER than not having sex.

        • Judging from your pic, you are far too cute to not get laid for eight months…what are all the ladies thinking? Jerks.

          • You know, I am. I am very cute. And talented. I do things like hand knit impromptu fake engagement rings for my friends. I may, literally, be the best lez ever.

            I really don’t know why people who aren’t awful humans don’t want to jump all over this.

          • celibate for 12 months. beat that. lol. Yeah, I don’t understand people who can have casual sex. If it’s not real than what’s the point?

    • Same. Also today I went to the dentist in boy jeans and an elderly couple glared at me in the waiting room. This made me uncomfortable and sad.

    • I have been celibate 8 months now too. Whyyyyyy do I have this thing about not sexing people unless we are in an actual relationship? I cannot do casual things because I have too many feelings.


    • Testify – I’m celibate for 8 months, while married to the woman of my dreams, who happens to be getting getting sober at the same time as going through menopause. Midlife crisis at its finest. Annnd, in case you missed the memo, all of those things can truly suck.

      This can just be a cautionary tale for falling in love with an older woman. There are times where you will Lose Your F*ing Mind with the age gap.

    • Ooooh, I can top that. :)
      Celibate for 23 months. … reading and realizing that…. :( I think I’m gonna cry.


    I want to go out and bike, but it’s been pouring and pouring and pouring for the past weeks. Also, it’s 13 degrees celsius here and it’s the end of bloody JULY. I’M WEARING A JUMPER THAT’S MEANT FOR ICE SKATING AND I’M STILL COLD AS SHIT.

    (Also, the cate woke me up way too early this morning by jumping on my bed and doing Riverdance moves on/around my head, but I can’t be angry about that, because she’s just too cute.)

    • Let me guess, England? I was just in London where it was freezing and I caught cold, and now the cold won’t go away so I can’t meet that cute girl from the internet because I will cough up a lung in her face and that is not the kind of thing I like to do on a first date.

      Why won’t this cold die???

    • ME TOO only I just bought a new bike but it’s been too bloody hot to ride it like over 100 degrees when the tv tells me to not do any physical activity outside it makes me mad!

  18. My fiancee and I are having a hard time learning to communicate with each other without getting strained, even when it’s about touchy subjects like the boundaries around flirting and contact with ex’es and ex-flings and I’M GETTING SO FRUSTRATED AND SHE JUST CALLED AND ALL IS FINE NOW BUT WHYYYYY AM I SUCH AN INSECURE MESS, SO MUCH FEELINGS AND FEARS!!

  19. @ brzy_baby: Wait, I’m confused. That girl that stayed over, was that an ex of your GF? And with GF you mean your partner I assume?
    Hmm if you mean GF is your partner and ex stayed over and said those weird things/akwardness about you guys being intimate, I would def try to have an open honest conversation with you GF about this and why the situation made you uncomfortable, where she stands for you, and that she is important enough for you to not let anyone get between you guys? Just put allll those feelings in words and don’t forget to add a lot of the love you feel for her during the conversation!

  20. Well, in recent events, I forgot that responsibilities give me hives and now I have some substantial groveling to do. Unrelatedly I think my grandpa’s once again working up the nerve to ask if I want to convert to Scientology yet. The delicate art of saying ‘no’ without including thoughts like ‘you gullible moron’ is frankly exhausting.

  21. I’m going into my third year of university (took a sabbatical year after high school, doing nothing) and I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life.

    Also my girlfriend had to move to another country for an internship and that sucks because I’M NOT GOOD WITH EMAILS.

    • i’ve heard there are fancy contraptions with which you can videochat, so then you don’t have to email but can talk and see each other, if that helps at all?

  22. She’s been at fucking RTC in fucking Great Lakes for six fucking weeks.

    I’m sick of being needy and alone and writing letters in lectures instead of paying attention. I’m beyond annoyed that hand written letters are our only method of communication. Letters. That take three weeks to get across the pacific fucking ocean. I have no-one to talk to. NO ONE! I don’t even send the damned letters because they’re stupid. STUPID!

    I’m selfish and needy and I just want what I want, when I want it. Consequences be damned.

    When the hell will the world cooperate with that simple demand?

    But mostly, I’m pissed the hell off with myself for being so pathetic and stupid and selfish and needy. Go figure.

  23. LJ, why you no work? You work in America. Plz let me have livejournal too. Is it coz I’m British? I bet it is. You dicks.

    Also – you. You who are now my ex’s boyfriend. Dude, I liked you, we were friends and you can be very sweet and very funny and all sorts of such things at times, but here is a list of helpful hints to avoid making me and other sensible people mad at you:
    1) Do not try to guilt trip girls into dating you. Even if it works. She said she felt pressured into it, dude. Very not cool.
    2) I thought everyone knew this one, but apparently not – if you know your friend is still in love with and messed up about being dumped by her ex, then even if you’re interested in that ex? You do not hook up with her TWO FREAKIN’ WEEKS after the break up.
    3) DO NOT refer to trans* people as ‘it’. DO NOT say ‘well, it still looks like a man to me’. DO NOT say ‘so what is it, a boy or a girl?’. DO NOT say ‘does it have a dick?’. DO NOT say ‘but if it likes girls why did it get a sex change?’.
    4) DO NOT tell me to quit being so sensitive and that you were just kidding when you make comments like that. Or homophobic, misogynistic, racist and/or other offensive comments. You make me want to strangle you.
    5) Do not pressure your girlfriend into sex. And if you do, at least make an effort to make it good for her too.
    6) DON’T imply that I’m just mad at you ’cause you’re dating my ex. Even if, okay, you’re right, I’m madder than I would be otherwise, but dude, I’d be mad anyway and these are still not okay things to do.
    7) Another thing that’s not cool to imply is that I’m mad at you because I’m a man-hating angry lesbian. I’m just an angry lesbian. I’d be just as pissed at you if you were a girl, and I don’t know if you noticed, but about 75% of my friends are men, whom I clearly do not hate.

    Speaking of which, sorry about the wall of text, guys ;__;
    On a less angry note – goddammit, why is half the limoncello gone? I love it and it is mine. I’mma kill whoever drank it.*

    *I think it may have been me who drank it, WOOPS.

  24. I’ve been feeling the same feelings for 11 months. It makes me angry to wake up and try so hard every day and still have to fight this.

    I want new feelings.

  25. Just found out girl I like is about to do some internet lesboporn. Doesn’t bother me but question is do I watch it?! Dilemma.

  26. I just want to makeout with a girl really bad right now. Why can’t I have smoochies?!?

    So the Republicans and the debt limit thing? Is seriously giving me panic attacks. I’m kind of fucked up right now anyway, so it doesn’t take much, so I keep telling my mom to STOP FUCKING TELLING ME ABOUT IT because there’s nothing I can do! But she won’t stop! She’s paranoid because if everything goes to hell, it’s going to be the programs for poor people like us that get gutted when all is said and done, and if she looses her student loans and I lose my SSI, we’re fucked.

    And you know what happens then? I have to move to South Korea to teach English! That’s the only thing I can think of, but even then I don’t know if I’ll be physically capable of that since teaching requires walking, standing, and writing, which hurts like a motherfucker! Just three weeks ago, I’d had to walk and stand for about 6 hours a day for three days in a row and I ended up vomiting from pain.

    And that’s not even taking into account that I don’t speak Korean, can’t eat with chopsticks, and my best friend who was a vegan before he moved there tells me that it would be impossible for me to stay a vegetarian there. FUCK.

    I have so much anxiety I can’t sleep. But at least I’m getting a lot of books read for the AS Summer Book Club!

    And one good thing happened today: I got my signed pictures and stickers from UNICORN PLAN-IT! Hooray!

    • You could probably learn Korean while you’re there! I don’t know how it works there but in some countries, employers will pay for you to go to school and study their language. But as far as in the classroom goes, you’d most likely just be speaking English anyway.

      Also, don’t just take your friend’s word for it. Do some research! Here is a guy talking about being vegetarian in South Korea:

      Why would it have to be Korea, if you don’t mind me asking?

      • Ooh, thanks for the YouTube vid! That’s really interesting.

        Yeah, learning Korean while I’m there probably wouldn’t be that hard for me. I’m good at languages and they say the immersion method is the fastest method to learn one. Also, at the school where my friend teaches, they all speak English all the time (not just in English class), plus the school has a translator/helper whose job it is to help foreign teachers settle in and help with any problems they might have (like helping them set up a bank account or helping them understand how the public transportation systems work). I’d probably be okay, it’s just that I’m a total Type A and I’d have a lot of anxiety not being able to understand the people around me, even for a little while until I learned the language, because I need to be in control of what’s happening!

        It would have to be Korea mostly because there is an agency dedicated to dealing with foreign English teachers which finds you work, a place to live, and will provide air fare to and from South Korea (even if you don’t complete your contract for some reason, they will still send you home so you’re not stranded), and because I have two friends living there already. It would be nice to move to the other side of the planet and have friends there, if not in the same city at least close enough that they could get to me quickly if I needed them!

        My current plan is to go to Germany to teach English. I already speak German and I’ve always wanted to live there. But the catch is that there’s no equivalent agency like the one they have in South Korea (at least not that I’ve found yet) and you need a Teaching English As A Foreign Language certificate, which I don’t have yet. So if everything goes to hell, I know I could have a job in South Korea in about a month, which is not the case for Germany.

        I’m just praying as hard as I can that fleeing to South Korea isn’t necessary and I could just carry out my original plan like I want!

        • I hope it works out for you! I’ve heard good things about teaching in Germany. I thought about doing it myself and researched a bunch of countries but then I realized I would probably hate teaching.

          Also I find Germans and German accents and German women really hot so if you do go I will be jealous. But happy for you!

  27. I’m an Asshat for Trying FWB

    you told me it would be okay.
    you told me to “just lets go, I’m practically an emotional abyss when it comes to this.”
    I know.
    I know that you get attached emotionally easier than most others.
    Listen to the sound of rain hit the gutters.
    i’m not sure if you convinced me or if curiosity just took hold of my feet.
    That night I could see in your eyes what you are proclaiming to me today.
    Shit why did I come, why did I stay?
    Why did I decide to get laid?
    What made me decide that it would be a good idea?
    I need a shower with agua fria.
    I need to wake up and tell you how I feel.
    You told me how you felt, I didn’t want to tell you lies.
    I saw this coming that night in the little flash in your eyes.
    I’m sorry if I made a rip or a tear into that fragile heart of paper.
    You told me it was okay and that you were glad I wasn’t a faker.
    You said it would be okay, I was already there, “what’s the point of wasted time?”
    “Let’s watch a movie instead,” no romantics, no good comedies, no scifi.
    We watched Silence of the Lambs, what the hell was I thinking?
    You tried again and I declined.
    You’re my friend, my good friend is what I want you to be.
    Nothing more and nothing less.
    It’ll be okay, just let go.

  28. Could we have some coverage on the Norwegian attacks? It’s a scary thing, and I think we need to talk about scary things.

    (Four days ago, a bomb exploded near the ministry offices in Oslo, and an hour later, on a nearby island, nearly a hundred people, most of them teenagers coming together for the meeting of the Labor Party Youth Union, were shot and killed, leaving 97 wounded and 5 missing. The man shooting, a Norwegian man linked to the far-right, was then arrested.)

    • I would like to talk about this too. I’ve read some things online, but they’ve all been “Fundamentalist Christian with links to far-right guns down 97 people.” And since I can’t read Norwegian I’m just wondering, is that all? Has there been anything more to the situation that hasn’t been picked up by the English-speaking press yet? Am I just not looking in the right places? What’s being done for the victims’ families?

      Anyone know anything?

    • I was listening to the NPR report on the shootings yesterday, and they had this 22-year-old survivor talking about his experience. I mean he literally detailed every second of his ordeal, including pretending to be dead but the guy shot him anyway, but the human body is so amazing that like, he didn’t feel it at the time and still pretended to be dead and so he survived? I dunno, I was horrified listening to it, but I couldn’t stop; all I was thinking was how I would NEVER be able to continue living my life after that happened to me, I mean what are these people even going to do, what are we even going to do, you know?

      Clearly I have some feelings about this.

    • I’m Norwegian, living in San Francisco, and I have basically been glued to the screen for 4 days, reading Norwegian newspapers. I found one site giving news in English for foreigners in Norway:

      The guy seems to have acted alone, but there are many who share his beliefs across Europe. In that respect, it could have happened anywhere, but that it would strike Norway is incomprehensible to most people. As shown in the reactions. Yesterday, 200 000 people filled Oslo with roses, the symbol of the Labor party that seems to have been his main target.

      If you just want to look at pictures of love and grief, I recommend this:

  29. I’ve just noticed that if a comment has been “liked” more than 4 times it becomes “Well-loved”. Cool.

  30. I just started dating a girl! And she’s nice! And maybe I could come to really like her, I don’t know, I’m not sure, but I could definitely come to pretty much like her for a decent amount of time before I got irritated and resentful and bored and we broke up! And the sex is good, although not quite as good as when we first got together, which is not a good trajectory! But the girl I’ve liked for the psst year and who it turned out has liked me for a significant portion of that year may well have just broken up with her boyfriend! What does it mean when they all of a sudden don’t have the relationship status thing visible on facebook at all?!? And both change their profile pictures? Can you just ask or does that show that your facebook stalking? Why can’t this have happened on google+ where it wouldn’t just be that maybe she’s changing her general privacy settings?!? Why don’t our mutual friends who are closer to her than I am casually mention what’s going on with her when I start a chat-gossip session?!? And she kinda cheated on him with me a couple of months ago and it was awesome and then we were just friends and then we talked about it and sort of hinted around the fact that they were going to be broken up by circumstances at a certain point that should not be as soon as right now, and depending on how things were going, we’d see how they went! And then we were just friends! And I started dating the kinda-sorta-maybe girl, and now we’re moving in a serious direction unless I apply the brakes which will probably lead to the car going up in smoke, at this point, and I don’t know what to do! Is she single? Is she still interested? Is a bird in the hand worth two in the bush? Is it ok to keep dating someone while you wait around to see what someone else wants? Why couldn’t I have met one of them during the middle of my two year dry spell?!?

    • If it’s come up before, you should just talk to your friend who just broke up with her bf.

  31. atm i’m really not happy about how a random guy I don’t really know keeps buying my girlfriend ridiculously expensive concert and festival tickets FOR NO REASON! agh i’m a student, I work part time, he’s eight years older and has a full time job so i’m sorry I can’t keep up financially but that doesn’t mean I need some guy buying my girl all the stuff I can’t afford to right now *sad face*
    We’ve talked about it, I really want to do the adult thing and attempt to get to know him instead of flying off the handle / sulking / ending up living in a cardboard box after i’ve sold my stuff in a desperate attempt to outdo him but everytime I think about it the rage of an angry lesbian descends upon me.

    • I feel like you are totally right for feeling shitty about some dude buying your girlfriend things. Tell him to step off, seriously. And why is your girlfriend accepting these things from this dude if she knows it bothers you? She needs to set up some boundaries, seriously. I may be a pessimist, but people never do things “for no reason.” Seriously.

    • Seriously, tell him to back his dick up. Buying your girl things like that is way not okay.

      • M’kay tried to reply earlier but for some reason my phone won’t let me :-s anyway so now that i’m on a proper computer:
        My girlfriend has told him she’s not accepting anymore stuff from him and said to me that if I don’t want her to speak to him anymore then she won’t. Thing is I trust her and I don’t want to start banning her from speaking to certain people. He has stopped giving her stuff since she told him I have a problem with it (I would’ve told him myself but she got there first lol) but it’s still an awkward situation because I still don’t trust him because of it.
        I’ve decided to deal with it in the following two ways 1. Have a word myself just to make sure the “stop buying my girlfriend stuff” message is well and truely clear and 2. I am going to attempt to get to know him, my girl reckons it’s just how he is and I shouldn’t be worried, the only way I can know for sure is to go find out for myself what he’s like.

  32. Will probably add something more substantial later, but for now:

    It’s early.
    I like kitten pictures.
    You have like buttons! Yay!
    It’s hard to spell in the morning.
    Yesterday sucked, but it’s a new day so I’m trying to start it cheerful. I hope this works!

  33. I’m at camp. I’ve been trapped at camp for the past week or so. I miss you guys SOSOSOSOSO MUCH.

    • WHAT THAT IS THE RUDEST. You shoulds probs have another party and not invite her and then spend the whole night riding naked girls and drinking tequila shots and be like SEE I DON’T NEED YOU TO HAVE FUN AT PARTIES.


    This has been the worst week evar, and it threatens to get even worse.

    Ground, swallow me up.

  35. My partner of 7 years decided that she needed to work on herself and left me about a month ago. She still wants to hang out as long as it’s “not weird”. What the hell does that mean? It’s going to be weird no matter what. I am visiting her in her new apartment that she does not live in with me. Guess what? That shit is weird. When we almost kiss after I drop off dog food? Weird! When I say it’s going to be weird because I’m still in love with her and her response is “don’t be”. Weird…and hurtful which makes me more weird. Hanging out with her is like never breaking up, but never getting back together and that is way too weird and emotionally draining.

    Also, do exes have spidey sense or something? I went out on a blind date, because god forbid I just sit at home, and had a great time. As I’m leaving I get a text from the ex. I don’t get it.


  36. So there is this girl. And we are friends. We have been friends for years and years, and I always thought she was straight, and everything was fine.

    And then we hooked up at a party and it was AWESOME. But. She is still straight? Or mostly straight?

    And I am usually totally down for random hookups. Have done before, will do again, no attachment issues here!

    BUT. Well. That is not the case with this one. We’re still good friends, so we hang out a lot, but I keep finding myself thinking things like, “Wouldn’t it be nice if we could snuggle in bed drinking tea and each reading our own book, but reading the best sentences aloud to each other?” or, “I just want to bury my face in her hair.” or “I really wish we were kissing right now.”

    And to make it all worse, when she gets drunk, she gets flirty. I thought it was just my imagination, but after the last time… she acted just like she acted the night we hooked up.

    WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. I have had a grand total of five crushes since eighth grade (I am about to be a junior in college). I do not crush easily. Why can’t my sixth crush be on the cute girl who likes me? Why must it be on my (mostly) straight good friend?

    • TALK to her! it sounds like you’ve assumed she’s straight, but if she gets that way around you…then…might as well sit her down and ask about it :) what if she does like you? wouldn’t that be awesome? SHE’S the one flirting with YOU, so she either likes you likes you or likes you as a friend anyway. and if she denies it all, you’re good friends and you can make it stay that way!

      • Seriously, if I hadn’t made the first move I wouldn’t be in a relationship right now because my girlfriend thought I was straight.

  37. Ranting thread!

    Sunday I got a really bad surprise stomachache which is only now started to subside, indicating that I may have been glutened AND I DON’T KNOW HOW AND I’M TOTALLY PARANOID AND I FRIGGING HATE ALLERGIES.

    My parents are being dicks and sent me a birthday card with a letter saying they were dismayed to hear from several relatives (at a family reunion) that I had ” ‘outed’ myself as a homosexual on the internet.” And they refused to go to my brother’s wedding cause it wasn’t in a Catholic church. Screw them, the wedding was awesome, but I’m still angry but part of me misses having parents, y’know?

    Also, I’m 24 now and do not feel like an adult by any means, which is beginning to worry me.

    Graduate school is stressful, I have to go to a conference next week, in which I am expected to go to every talk during the day and drink heavily at night and never sleep. You do not want to be around me when I haven’t slept. And I work with tuberculosis and someday I may infect myself and I have to work in this tiny claustrophobic room in a tiny claustrophobic suit and it’s terrifying and one day the lights went out when I was in there and I thought I was stuck because the doors are powered. *breathes*

    And I have to move this weekend to a temporary place before I move again at the end of August, but my friend’s crazy roomie hasn’t moved out yet, and I am not happy about it, and I don’t even have a bed for the temporary place and will probably be sleeping in friend’s bed while she stays with her bf but the crazy roomie will still be there and WHY CAN’T SHE BE GONE LIKE SHE SAID SHE WOULD AND I HAVE TO MOVE ALL OF THE THINGS AND CLEAN ALL OF THE THINGS AND OH GOD.

    And because of all this anxiety I’m particularly good at fucking up friendships right now, or situations with people whose company I enjoy, but now (validly) think I’m completely fucking insane, partially because (especially when I’m stressed out) I refuse to be polite and deal with people who are assholes. Also, I tend to dissolve in tears more often than normal lately.

    And sometimes I just can’t TELL people all of the things because either they don’t listen at all or they listen…too well and start to worry. So thanks for the ranting thread. It’s gonna be fine, I know.

      • This is true. I’m going to be 30 in less than 2 months and I have never felt like a grown up even once. This is true for most of my friends as well, even those with kids of their own.

    • >> And because of all this anxiety I’m particularly good at fucking up friendships right now, or situations with people whose company I enjoy, but now (validly) think I’m completely fucking insane, partially because (especially when I’m stressed out) I refuse to be polite and deal with people who are assholes. Also, I tend to dissolve in tears more often than normal lately.

      Yes. I am doing this too! Including annoying/confusing my very loving girlfriend because I am a total stress-mess over finishing my masters portfolio.

      I also can’t sleep. And I am so so so tired.

      (you’re not alone) :)

    • Lol “homosexual on the internet”. I know this is a serious situation, but I feel like that phrase is one of those horribly awkward ones only middle-aged homophobic people or FOX newspeople use.


      Also, hugs and good luck with everything<3

      • No, it’s totally fine for it to be hilarious. The humor needs to be found somewhere in this assholery. Thank you!

  38. I’m 28 and haven’t had a long term relationship, and actually can’t see someone wanting to be with me, or wanting me. thats sad. ALL my friends are married or in long term relationships. Internet dating is bullshit, a whole lot of freaks!

      Super annoyed. After months, I’m trying to be an adult about a break up with my ex. Doing the friends thing and totally happy about it. All is going well then poof she’s ignoring me. Such an assface. Maybe I should tell her that I faked it most of the time/thought about a different girl. Probably won’t help huh? Do all mutual break ups turn this bad? Cuz I kind of hate the bitch right now, which is absurd because we ended things on an extremely high note.

      Also, INSANE craving for cornbread! Is this normal? Would seriously fight a bear for that shit!


  40. those kittens are so fucking adorable.

    to be honest, i’ve no idea if i’m gay, bi, whatever, anything -can you say typical lack of self awareness?!- but i do know that now i’m living on another continent just when i could have started making things better with her. it sucks, a little bit lot.

  41. my job is so boring i can’t focus on anything for more than 15 minutes. so i’m looking at autostraddle instead and getting more and more behind on my work. ugh.

    • My job is exactly like this. Way behind on very easy work that is just so boring I can’t do it for more than five minutes at a time. Darn autostraddle.

  42. My ear infection is back. Now present in both ears! This is bull!!!1

    This is cool. It’s almost like Postsecret.

  43. I’m totally late for work right now because I turned off my alarm in my sleep and then had a dream with an ex in it. Her mom and grandma were really mean to me in the dream and made me wear a ridiculous fox fur neck thing. And my iPod had malfunctioned and deleted all of my pictures replacing them with pictures of the ex in the dream. And at a dream lesbian music gathering nobody joined in with my impromptu singing of ‘Come Sail Away’ but instead left immediately. And someone may have been murdered!
    And now I’m going to be even more late because I had to read all the comments and post one of my own.

  44. Seriously? We can just yell on here? Because UGH I’M AWAKE AT 6 A.M. BECAUSE I’VE BECOME AN INSOMNIAC and tumblr is boring right now and I ate all the cookies so there are no more cookies and my crush is hella unrequited but her hair is so shiny and also tumblr looks really boring right now. Aren’t happy pills supposed to make you happy? No? OK I guess I’ll just go read Thomas Hardy novels and think about bedraggled maidens in fields.

  45. I’m going nuts because the thing I have been working on for three years has been passed on to somebody else. I’m pretty sure they are going to change everything I did.

    Whenever I try to tell someone about it they think I’m crazy because it’s something so small but I wouldn’t be the same person today without it. In fact, I’m not sure if I would still be around.

    Also, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I’ve dropped out of uni and while that was a good decision at the time it’s kind of trapping me now.

    I want to do something where I get to help people or at least where I get to be a part of something I give a shit about, not just thinking about the money or the next step of the career ladder. Apparently voluntary experience is not enough and people want relevant degrees not engineering diplomas.

    I think there’s a lot more, but hey, that’s enough of a rant for now, thanks Autostraddle. :P

  46. My boss wants me to do something that I think is fucking impossible. He thinks all I have to do go through a couple thousand pictures of something and I will find it, and he’s an idiot, because there’s no guarantee a picture of this is even online and I think he is seriously underestimating the number of pictures I’d need to go through. My guess is more like 10,000. So he has this expectation, which is unreasonable, but if I don’t succeed at this, then I failed. WTF? I try to explain to him, not everyone in the U.S. is going to post pictures of this online and he doesn’t get it. He’s arrogant, gets testy when questioned and I can’t argue with him. I like that he’s rather frank, but in this instance I think he’s being an asshole. I found some other people than managed to do this and I told him exactly how they did it and he said to me, “Nice try.” And I was like, “um, that wasn’t a try. That’s what they recommended we do.” But he said we can’t do it their way, which made a hell of a lot more sense than me going through thousands of pictures that may or may not exist. FUCK YOU, BOSS.

    OK, that felt sort of good. Even though I didn’t actually be clear what he’s making me do. Sigh.

    • He sounds like MY boss! Arrogant, testy, irrational, demands impossible things and then makes you feel like an idiot when you can’t accomplish them. Makes the workday so FUN!

    • Well, we want to find out the names of actors in a political ad. There have been controversies over campaigns using out-of-town actors to be fake blue-collar people, etc. We want to level that same controversy against our opponent. But it’s impossible without being able to get any production details of who made the ad. It’s a stupid-ass request. Thank you anyway though. :)

  47. my roommate used up all my fucking coffee creamer and i can’t drink milk so I had to drink it black RAWR


    – I look straighter than fuck and only boys look at me/show me any kind of interest and I’m still too shy to approach girls

    – I’m always hungry (this is not a sexual innuendo)

    – I lost a huge-ass scholarship

    – I never have enough money

    – My apartment is dirty

    That is all. So, I mean, over all, s’all good.

    • “Honey you know this is a gay bar right?” or “You know this is a gay event right?” – Sound familiar?

      I get it all the time. Just brush it off. You don’t look straight, you look like you and you are gay (or bi [idk u just assuming]). Do not be shy. Just talk to people Once you step over that little edge of starting a conversation all is well. If it goes bad, walk away and talk to someone else. This is how the magic happens I promise. (Some) Lesbians can be a rather shy people. They feel the same way. If you are bold enough to speak first, it pays off, I promise. Read the news, stay up to date with what’s going on in the world, current topics are the best icebreakers.

      • AH! I get the “You know this is a gay bar, right?” all the time too! So frustrating.
        Or my favorite “You like girls? That’s cute. Don’t worry the right guy will come along”
        What is that even supposed to mean?!!
        It sucks not being able to make out with someone you love because you’re afraid people will think of it as an attention seeking ploy to get a man.

        • I don’t get the comments from people in gay bars, but when guys hit on me, and I tell them I’m not interested, they don’t get it and keep insisting. I mean, it’s flattering… but, you know. Then if they insist I tell them I’m gay and either they don’t believe me or tell me I’ve never had a real man, or I wouldn’t be gay with them, or whatever.


          • I have the same problem! I get hit on and asked out buy guys all the time, but girls…? Not so much. And then when I tell people I’m gay, they go “but you’re so pretty! You could totally get a guy. Are you SURE you’re a lesbian?”


            Seriously, guys. Seriously.

          • if you do not have asymmetric hair / carabeaner / v-neck / skinny jeans / sneakers / backpack / tattoos / fedora / facial piercing / bleached parts of hair / bicycle, you are confusing to The Lesbians

            however! there ARE people out there who will not be confused! and who are totally like ‘hot girls who do not necessarily conform to my concept of homogay stereotypes YES I AM SO INTO THIS hay gurl hay’ HAVE FAITH

          • I DO WEAR skinny jeans, v-necks, beaters and ride my bike. I just give off more of a Sporty Spice vibe than oh, i don’t know, i-have-a-penis-that-vibrates kind of vibe.

    • how to resolve, at least temporarily, this first problem: internet. then once you do it with enough girls you met off the internet, ‘i make sexy with ladies’ starts to like ooze out of your pores or something and shit gets a lot easier, i don’t know. i feel like i spent years stressing out over that and was real concerned with visibility and then magically out of nowhere i was in my mid-20s and it was like, easy, i do not understand how. femme swagger, it is complicated

      i still dislike “going to lesbian bars” though because i’m all “but i don’t want to take off my heels and makeup and i don’t want to get sneered at.” HOWEVER i have determined that those people who are judging me and deciding i am a ‘bad’ or ‘fake’ lesbian for looking straight are in fact themselves Bad Lesbians and also probably Compensating For Their Disappointment That They Are Not Going To Have Sex With Me and i just tell myself a bunch of other sexiness-affirming half-truths and this usually helps

      also when dudes pull that you’ve never had a real man shit, if it gets too bad, i remind them that my silicone penis is bigger than their real one and they usually shut up? or just be a bitch and be ‘not interested’ and not ‘gay’ when you turn them down, because unfortunately that ‘gay’ thing tends to interest them MORE (probably because a lot of girls use it as like a flirty excuse, you know, “i’m with HER”) where if you are okay with them thinking you are just a royal icebitch, they usually leave you alone after making a few snarky remarks about what a cunt you are. WHICH I AM FINE WITH.

      • I love your advice so very much.

        Do it with enough girls you met on the internet. So very true.

        • it is very true? it is like a rite of passage i think?

          PHASE 1. necessary component: alcohol and another ‘curious’ teen-to-college age thing with a vagina
          PHASE 2. necessary component: internet mediation to remove social expectations and stress and rejection and ‘expectation of relationship at this point’
          PHASE 3. HAY LADIES

          though to be fair i started thinking i was in phase 3 a longass time ago and my current girlfriend i STILL met off the internet.

          • I’m hovering between Phase 2 and 3 and this is EXACTLY HOW ALL OF THIS HAPPENED FOR ME so YES.

      • ‘my silicone penis is bigger than your real one’ – congratulations, you have won the internet. I am so stealing this for future use.

        • i actually stole that line from my girlfriend and have not really said it a whole lot so i do not deserve credit but i mean, seriously

    • “- I look straighter than fuck and only boys look at me/show me any kind of interest and I’m still too shy to approach girls”

      ARE YOU ME?

  49. So gloriously happy for NY gays, and the military with the signatory end of DADT!

    So infuriated that what my state, Minnesota, has to provide for The Cause is Michele Bachmann, Tim Pawlenty and, let’s not forget, looking forward to a 2012 amendment where our friends and neighbors get to vote on our civil rights. JFC. It’s enough to force a stream of vituperriously virulent progressive’s Tourette’s Syndrome at all the blissfully ignorant straights surrounding me. Aiieeee.

    Thank you for the opportunity to vent. That is all.

  50. Last night my girlfriend informed me that we are moving to California when our lease is up, whether either of us has a job waiting there or not. I feel like this is insane but can’t decide if it’s the good kind of insane.

      • You mean we need reasons!? Just kidding. The main reason is that it isn’t HERE in this very tiny, close minded town with limited opportunities. My girlfriend is a teacher and she has ONE potential employer here verses dozens elsewhere.

        We thought about the northeast (Boston-ish) for a very long time but I am a VERY cold natured person (I’m wearing a hoodie right now at my desk in the middle of summer in Florida) and I think regular snow fall would kill me dead. So the milder climate is attractive. But hey, we’re open to suggestions.

    • Depends if she’s moving to California because she watched The Real L Word or to be on The Real L Word.

  51. i had to wake up way too early today. i don’t have a coffeemaker to at least make it bearable.

    i have to meet with this advisor from school who was the biggest bitch to me. that doesn’t make me feel like being up so early is even worthwhile.

    also, i want sushi. and none of the places i like are open right now.

  52. I have pent up rage from last week when the AC broke at Cubby Hole and it was a sea of hot sweaty lesbians and not the kind that you see in porn, the kind you see in disaster movies it was awful I couldn’t even stay and I just wanted to find a nice girl to take home with me for the night and I had to go to Henrietta Hudson instead and it was awful a lady spilled a red drink on my nice new white skirt and it’s ruined and there were no cute girls my age there and a lady grabbed my ass and held onto it and made me take a jello shot with her and I said no vodka makes me sick but I didn’t have a choice she was scary and then later a bartender yelled at me at Stonewall and probably hates me and she’s one of the few women that works there and it broke my heart she was in the right but dammit I was just intoxicated I usually have awesome manners I’m sorry I spit I’ll stop smoking I promise! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I CAN’T BE INSIDE YOU CUBBY! #nycneedsmoreandbetterlesbianclubs

    • dude, cubbyhole is just actually THE worst place on the planet, i swear that place would turn anyone straight

        • my friend got a gnar brusie on her shoulder from some weird fish thing that fell on her there, i’m not kidding

          maybe we can get it shut down for being a fire hazard/social hazard/emotional hazard

          • hehe. I always wonder if anything ever falls down from there. I know now. I can tolerate Cubby as long as I stay near the front for swift exit. I have made some nice friends at Cubby. But yes, lot’s of awkward “ex is 7 ft away from me, can most likely hear me talking, let’s go to the corner” going on, and just general awkwardness from not beign able to move. Also their Margarita’s are absolutely awful. That’s why I say nyc needs better lesbian “gathering spaces” or I need to find the magical secret handshake clubs to go to. B/c as it stands, Cubby is the place I have met the best people (in Manhattan) and it’s far from “the most magical place on earth where lesbians congregate.”

            Funny you say “turn anyone straight” as there seem to be a lot of straight people in there all the time. I’m still pretty new to the NY scene and it’s certainly not uncommon in gay bars, but it’s annoying. Usually my reason for going to a gay (especially lesbian) bar is not having to worry about “is she, is she not” and being able to get straight to it and do my thing. But not so much there. There was a “straight girl” as in “omg I want to try it so bad you’re so hot want to come home with me you can teach me how” (aka do things to me and I will give nothing in return) She would NOT leave me alone this past weekend. Ugh. No means no girl. She wasn’t even that cute, but she was off her rocker and kept rambling about the marriage with her ex finance she “just called off” (you sure he’s not the one that called it off honey?). plz go away.

            Oh and another awesome one from a male patron: “Hi you are very pretty, this is uh, Derpina, she is from le France and going back tomorrow uh, she would like very much to maybe have the night with you yes? I will buy some drinks for you yes? She is very of pretty of course you can see.” *he shoves me towards her*

            Apparently I am a prostitute. Thank you french man.

            I keep ending up at Stonewall because gay men are always like OMG YOUR HAIR COME OVER HERE WE LOVE YOU. It’s so easy to have a good time with them vs crowd surfing to get a drink at cubby or putting on a haz mat suit to go into the bathroom at Henrietta’s (not that cubby is *THAT much better). Srsly ladies. WHY IS THERE ALWAYS PEE ALL OVER THE SEAT EVERY TIME? FINE YOU ARE DRUNK, CLEAN THE PEE UP IF YOU CAN’T GET IT IN THERE. Now I’m raging on entirely different things.

            *le sigh*

          • i find ‘lesbian bars’ at large kind of emotioanlly offensive and like not really a great place to ‘pick up single ladiez’ contrary to what you would think, i don’t know? i’ve had more luck picking up girls at queer-friendly parties and events than at ‘GAY BARS’ in the past i think. also i think you end up with less ‘WE ARE STALKING LESBIANS’ people when it is at a party/even thrown by other homos and not at a bar that every guide to the city says is full of lesbians. plus that whole meat market gauntlet kind of vibe just stresses me the fuck out whether or not i’m trying to pick people up? i’m in a happy relash, i don’t want to feel like i’m surrounded by a bunch of vampires

            most of the gay bars i do end up at are 1.) more like ‘mixed queer’ and less ‘LESBIANS!!!!!111!’ and also 2.) in brooklyn because it’s less about I NEED TO FIND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE HERE TONIGHT COME BACK TO MY UHAUL BABY and more ‘yo i live down the street and there’s hamburgers today and my friend is the bartender cool.’ i don’t know.

    • I think I have had this night. Except all those places irritate me because I spend more time waiting in line for the bathroom than doing anything else. And the only time people talk to me (especially at cubby hole-at least at Henrietta’s there is sometimes hilarious dancing and a pool table) is on line for the bathroom. But then I am just focusing on HOW BADLY I HAVE TO PEE WHY IS THIS LINE SO LONG so I’m invariably less than charming. Bah.

      Now that I’ve moved out of NY, I need to find me a lesbian bar with a) slightly smaller, less insane crowds b) adequate numbers of bathrooms and c) an atmosphere conducive to talking that’s not yelling en route to the toilet.

      I think the decoration in cubby hole is cute but it creeps me out that it probably has never, ever been cleaned.

      • Yeah it seems that talking is a nono unless it’s shouting in these places. Because if you’ve ever “gone outside” Cubby or Henrietta’s, it’s like the silent sneaking out of your parents house zone. “LADIES KEEP IT DOWN! FINISH UP AND GET BACK INSIDE!”


    AND THE PATRIARCHY!!!!!!!!!! AND HANGNAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Also, mornings (!!!!!!!) Who invented them, and why, and where do they live so I can go punch them inna face? I just wanna go back to sleep and forget about that whole “work” thing.


      Because I do that pretty much every morning.

      • I hate alarms so much that my brain has trained itself to wake me up five minutes before my alarm rings. Waking up to the BRINGGGGGGGGGG sound always scares me and feels like such a horrible way to start the day.

  54. I heavy made out with a girl TWICE and she didn’t add me on facebook so I’ll probably never see her again. I mean, not even facebook friends, really? Half those fuckers I only made out with ONCE.

  55. Well great, ASSChat ruined my social life in the evenings, and now I’m going to get fired for being on this thread all day. THANKS A LOT.

  56. I’m getting all my wisdom teeth out today and just found out my insurance doesn’t cover anesthesia! DON’T WANNA BE AWAKE!!

    • I want to give this a tumb’s down because that blows, but I’m not sure if that like, shows up negatively. Is the thumbs down button a statement about the comment itself, or the thing the comment is describing?

      I’m clicking thumbs up, but I really mean thumbs down to no insurance.

  57. Sorry for soliciting (for friendship:P) here but it won’t let me post a Thread on the Forums page… BUT–WWOOF WITH ME THIS FALL? Anyone interested in going on a WWOOF (world-wide opportunities on organic farms) adventure with me somewhere in the Southern or Midwestern U.S. (I’m looking at farms/ranches in Utah, Georgia, Arizona, and Hawaii–but I would just pick one) from mid-September up until Thanksgiving? I’m not crunchy at all/know nothing about farming but I think it would be a great life experience and I, conveniently, have a college off-term then. Let me know if you’d be interested! -kittenswhocuddletothevoiceofVonnegut

    • OMGZ

      I’m totally WWOOFing this fall. Unfortunatly about 12 hrs away just south of Melbourne.

      So not quite close. But yay WOOF!

  58. Things I am angry about:
    Fucking debt ceiling
    The patriarchy
    How women are portrayed in media
    That my girlfriend is far away right now

    Things I love:
    my girlfriend & autostraddle

  59. You guys. I have so many med school apps to finish. So Many. I can’t highlight the positive attributes of my personality/experiences anymore.

    I am out of positive attributes.

    • I had to read this comment twice. At first the nerd in me thought you had to finish writing phone apps for your med school and that was a bit confusing…

  60. I really need to sneeze and I can’t. It is making me crazy oh my god I just need to sneeze :(

  61. I’ve spent the last three hours looking at Rapinoe gifs(LOOKATHERCUTELITTLEFACE) so I’m not sure I can work up the vitriol to rant right now. But I’m about to call my student loans company so I’m sure that will take care of itself.


    ILENE FUCKING CHAIKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • i’m graduating in 13 months, wooo!!! i totally know how you feel about not wanting to grow up. that’s basically my everyday dilemma.

  63. So, lately my bf of forever has been making weird jokes about me hooking up with girls or hanging out with my “lady lesbian friends”. Last night I told him that it was making me uncomfortable, and after some cajoling, he admitted that he’s scared I’m going to cheat on him when I move away for Grad school this Fall. Fantastic.


  64. Mom: But…you have a daughter who would like to get married to someone of the same sex.
    Dad: That’s fine. Let her fight her battles!
    Mom: …you wouldn’t fight for her?

    THAT IS THE CONVERSATION I WOKE UP TO AND I’M NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL. My dad says a lot of really weird stupid things and I try my best to ignore them because he might be a little bit crazy.

    Other than that, I live in a stupid state and there’s nothing here and I can’t meet girls. And if I do meet a girl I don’t know how to talk to her or flirt with her I mean I DON’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE A CREEP, Y’KNOW?

    My phone got washed yesterday and it mostly works now except the screen makes squishy sounds when you touch it, and I can’t tell my friend about it because the ‘u’ key refuses to work.

    BUT MOSTLY I am torn up about Infomania being over because I didn’t know about it and I feel like That’s Gay is/was the most important thing on TV and without it there is no hope. I fully blame Keith Olberman for this.

    Oh, I also have a rage-inducing homophobic classmate but I don’t even know where to start with her.

    • Tell about the classmate so that we may supply you with witty retorts for future use

      • But I’m paranoid that she’ll read this!

        …but okay.

        She seems to have dropped it for now but for a while she was talking about how ALL MEN SUCK and SHE REALLY WANTS TO TRY BEING A LESBIAN and one time we were walking together and she said that she’s never actually tried being with a girl (or something like that, sometimes I can’t really hear people) and I was just like “Oh.” I don’t know if she was hinting at anything or if she knows/suspects that I’m gay because I think I’m really obvious but maybe I’m not. (I mean, I have an HRC sticker on my car, so everyone should know, right?)

        Either way I wouldn’t do anything with her because she says a lot of offensive things, mainly about guys, and she seems to think that this is a totally polite and acceptable way to talk.

        And she said something about how she loves to humiliate guys which was just…weird and tmi, I guess.

        • After reading this I feel like you should make out with her just to see what happens

  65. my girlfriend left yesterday morning for two entire weeks and i was totally okay with it until i went to bed last night in her boxer shorts & then it smelled like her but she wasn’t there and i was sad. the end.

      • lol i mean there was a general aura of her scent, i didn’t stick my nose up in them. also, they were clean.

  66. For me, for us, everything changed on Friday.
    The loss. The pain on people’s faces. Not knowing who will come back. A tragedy that makes no sense.
    I’m not sure how to stop it from tearing me to pieces. I don’t know how to get over it, or even how to move past it, into a state where it doesn’t physically hurt to just be. I don’t know how we can.
    How can someone kill someone for wanting to create something good? How can someone shoot teenagers because they are inclusive and tolerant, because they care?
    They were some of the brightest, most inspiring people I’ve ever known.
    I miss them.

  67. I hate country weddings. When are you getting married? Do you have a special someone in your life? Oh, we’re so proud of you, I bet the boys are just lining up. Preacher named Bud talking about the sanctity of marriage when we all know they’ve been getting down from the moment they met (which is fine, do what yah want but prude in public freak in the bedroom is just stupid). The 6 kegs were nice though and my dad wearing an hawian shirt.

    Student loans suck I agree, med school apps not as bad. Generally I just put I want to help people and don’t care about the money although that’s just the dumbest thing ever. Yeah dr.s want to make money otherwise we wouldn’t kill ourselves studying. Good luck Lizz, ps it gets better/ sometimes worse/ mostly better.

  68. I’m having an autostraddle pool party next weekend and I just want my pool to look clear and these monsoons keep rolling in everyday and ruining it.

    • i am angry now because i dont get invited to pool parties, not even ones ruined by monsoons.

      i think it might be because i am a lesbian, and there would be, like, girls in their bathing suits there.

      i mean, you can’t have a lesbian at a pool party, right? i mean I AM A LESBIAN.

    • “I’m having an autostraddle pool party next weekend…”


        • You come to Phoenix az then message me for address, only requisites are you bring bevs to share and YOUR OWN SPECIAL PIZZA TOPPINGS!

  69. I cant drink coffee anymore.
    or pop. or alcahol. think I’m going to have to give up bacon (and all pork) as well.
    we’ve gotten so much rain here the last two months (yes, months, no we don’t have a rainy season here… at least, not until lately) and so half my shared garden isn’t growin. and I think I’m suffering from the lack of natural vitamin D.
    I want to get some more tattoos, but my partner is against it for silly reasons. What, you have more than me, but your done with that phase of your life so I should be too?
    and lastly, I’m turning 30 tomorrow.

  70. Everyone in the world should subscribe to Crash Pad, even if you don’t like it or don’t like porn, and here’s why: Jiz Lee is just such a sweet and genuine person. I heart her.

    Now lezzies, go forth and subscribe to the porn!

  71. this is complicated. after three years i moved to the town where my ex-gf and all of my college friends live. she and i were friends before i moved here, and for most of the time i have been here. she helped me escape my last relationship and has always been the person i run to when i have a problem or tough decision. we’ve gone out together and had a great time as friends. problem is, she knows i’m still in love with her. duh. it’s pretty she gives me a couch for my house (i’m a poor gypsy hippie), her collection of vinyls that i have been in love with forever, and has dinner with me once a week. this is great. i can totally live with this. then, i wrote her a letter telling her how important she is to me. and now she has turned in to the mean hazel eyed monster that likes to make me feel bad on purpose. she started dating a boy and brings him every where i might be. i’m angry.

    on top of this, she has the spare key to my house because she lets my dog out occasionally. i lost my key, and it may or may not be on its way to south korea in my best friend’s backpack. i’ve been climbing in my various windows, rotating each time i leave. i told her i needed it back, and she won’t answer my calls or texts. guys, i live in the barrio.



    I saw Carmen Sandiego in the Lima Airport the other day. Red trenchcoat and everything. Off to steal something historically significant.

    …Not really upset about that, gonna have to think of something else. Oh, how about the fact that the median wealth of white households exceeds that of black and Hispanic households TWENTY TO ONE?!

  73. I am super attracted to this girl who went to the same college as me. i dont personally know her but we have mutual friends. she is going to school really far away next semester and i never got the chance to hang with her cause im too scared to tell her she is cute :(

  74. All the girls above saying they can’t meet girls due to location and/or shyness and/or looking like a straight girl… I was totally there. On all three issues. I mean, where are you going to meet cute, available queer girls in a teeny tiny conservative town when you look like Susie Straight and are way too shy to approach anyone yourself?

    Dude, you’re not going to. So go online. If the idea of online dating is sketchy to you, throw an ad on craigslist looking for local lesbians/bi girls/whatever to be friends… and then see what happens when you meet in person to hang out.

    I met my wife online but it was not an online relationship. We chatted for about two weeks before meeting for dinner to hang out and sparks flew. From that moment on, the relationship was in person. I just met her online, we didn’t date online. (And note: this was not my first attempt at online dating so it’s important to realize that it’s sunshine and rainbows every time or anything. But it’s better than not getting out there at all.)

    *sigh* Makes me sad to see all these young girls in small towns lamenting that they can’t meet girls… I know how you feel because it suuuuuucks.

    • @busy – I was on my mobile earlier and tried to +1 your post. Apparently my finger did not obey and it got -1 instead. Just wanted you to know I liked your post and that the x1 is a false negative!

  75. I came out to my family about a year and a half ago. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 3 years. It’s a serious relationship, we just moved in together, etc. My dad and my sister were totally cool with the whole thing and I actually came out to my sister much earlier than I did to my parents. My mom, on the other hand, has had a REALLY hard time with it. She doesn’t seem to know why, I certainly don’t know why, but she’s just uncomfortable with the whole situation. She has been pretty good with getting to know my girlfriend and being nice to her but recently has been sort of sliding back since we moved in together. I’m the youngest in my family so she took me “moving out” (even though I hadn’t lived at home since high school and I’m entering my last year of college this fall) and moving in with my girlfriend pretty hard. My mom can’t hide her emotions. She’s just incapable of it and she’s the most emotional person I know. She has been so rude to my girlfriend and so cold and awkward to me.

    The other day we went to see her with my sister and she barely talked to me, barely looked at my girlfriend, and quickly hugged me goodbye when it was time to leave and then walked off without saying anything to my girlfriend. I was so upset with her that we stopped on the way home and I spent a bunch of money on alcohol. Then she calls me yesterday all happy and shit saying “OH you HAVE to come over, my tomatoes are all growing big!” as if nothing at all happened. So I have this big long conversation with her about how she was being a big royal bitch to both of us and my girlfriend was upset about it and I was upset about it. AND GUESS WHAT SHE SAYS? She says “I WAS JUST SO HOT THAT DAY. IT WAS SO HOT OUT.” SHE BLAMED IT ON THE HEAT. Bullshit. So dumb. I try to explain to her all the time how even if she’s not conscious of it she can still be really hurtful with the way she treats me and my girlfriend. But she just doesn’t get it. She says “I just don’t know her well enough yet” or “I don’t want to get too attached because you two might break up” or “She’s just so quiet, I don’t know how to talk to her” And really it’s just about homophobia. She’s just uncomfortable with us and she just keeps making excuses.

    I know I’m lucky to have two really supportive loving people in my family but I wish my mom could just GROW UP and GET THE FUCK OVER IT already. Ugh.

    • Also my allergies are killing me. I can’t figure out if I’m getting sick or I’m just super duper allergic to everything.

    • Yah. My gf has four sisters (THERE ARE FIVE OF THEM) and the others are all straight, and her parents are super accepting, but I know that I’m not treated the same as all the other husbands/fiancés/boyfriends. I don’t get along with her dad the same as them, and I don’t get along with her mom the same as them. The dynamic is just different, and it can get really hurtful, though I know her parents don’t act that way on purpose. I mean, I’m not a dude, I don’t want them to pretend I’m a dude, but I feel like I end up being treated like a sister and we are obvs not sisters.

      But on the other hand, my parent’s kicked my out when they found out I was gay when I was fifteen, and I have hardly any relationship with my dad at all, and my mom absolutely won’t talk to me about it, so I count myself really lucky that her family is as accepting as they are, and it’s nice having something like parent’s even so. but I get how only getting half-way acceptance can be frustrating.

    • is your mom my mom? She’s always saying mean/rude/offensive things and then blaming them on the heat or whatever else.

  76. im getting a haircut ……for lack of time and not knowing if i want anything different i might just ask for a trim……I NEED AN ACTUAL NEW CUT!!!!! help

  77. Totally whiny BUT the girl I love, and who happens to love me back, “can’t be with me” but she can make out with me in a bathroom on a field trip. Not saying I didn’t enjoy it but WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?! WHYY?? HOW??

  78. Sometimes, I wish I didn’t have to face my problems and could just go back to sleep

  79. I’m really angry right now but I know it will pass in a few seconds.

    don’t worry, be happy♪♫ that’s my song

  80. Lets see- I am married to a guy, am gay, have 2 girlfriends, 2 kids, 5 cats, a dog, live in bum F**K so no one to dump on cept here.

    Actually the kids and critters are ok but challenge of having multiple relationships- yeah-not so good………..thank god for beer




      • Not judging, just curious. If you’re lactose intolerant, that seems like it would be further reasoning to stay vegan. But maybe that is just the way my brain works. Maybe you just like to eat eggs a lot. Also I am sorry about your other problems.

        • I screwed up the whole taking vitamins thing for a while and so I needed to take a break to stop being sick all of the time… I normally stay away from dairy but sometimes they put it in my coffee without asking. But once I stop being sick for months at a time (in the summer no less) I’m going back to veganism. :)





  84. I just broke up with my boyfriend whom I still really liked. Because I drunkenly slept with a girl (again) and realized I’m a lesbian. I figured out that I’ve never had a relationship with a guy where I didn’t at least make out with girls on the side. Plus, that boy had TOO MANY FEELINGS. I know it was the “right” thing to do, but now I’m sad and I miss him. And my friends are getting sick of seeing me all the time since I dunno what to do with all this free time.

    I just want to have sex with some cute girls.

      • I lived with two cats for a while – one was severely antisocial and mean, and the other was severely ADHD and annoying.

        I’m sure there are nice cats out there, but I am firmly a DOG PERSON. And my dog is old and has cancer(s) and won’t be around longer than a few more months. :( I am sad!

        So I vote for cute dog/puppy pics on AS – show the dog ppl some love!

      • lol One more Dislike and Carmen’s comment is going to be hidden. Tempting…tempting… jk =P

    • i too am allergic to cats and am strongly team dog.

      it is rather inconvenient though :/

    • I am extremely allergic to cats, and also think that most of them are assholes. TEAM DAWG 4 LYF!

    • My dog is dying and I love him to bits. I’ve had cats but this guy has been my best friend since childhood. Idk there’s nothing like that loyalty and companionship and hilarity that a dog will give you. Not saying I don’t love cats bc I do, but dogs get my vote on this one.

    • same. i’ve found the solution to this is to never fully UN-pack and/or put all your shirts in the car still on the hangers.

  85. I accidentally double-booked physical therapy and an upcoming date. Sorry, darling, it looks like we will be going to the aquarium another time, and I will spend that afternoon with a red-faced man who may or may not want to see me suffer. Yay shitty scheduling skills.

  86. i’m angry that amy winehouse is dead and nobody cares about the death, just about chalking it up to a drug overdose despite the fact that no autopsy reports are in. i’m also angry that her death coincided with me saying goodbye to many people and places and things and having to finally begin packing up that underwear drawer i might have stored all this shit in.

    • I think there are a lot of people who are angry, sad and upset over Amy Winehouse’s death. Unfortunately, though, her death wasn’t shocking, which is maybe why it seems as though people are treating it more cavalierly than normal.

      Reports of her overwhelming problems with alcohol and drugs were frequent, and she had to cancel her entire tour a few months ago because she wasn’t well enough to perform. Even if her death was caused by something different (say, a heart attack), it was most likely related to her substance abuse issues.

      As for the underwear drawer, I feel you. Sorry about that. :(

  87. they never toast my bagel enough, it’s always gross and dough-y, and so this morning i asked them to toast it extra and now it’s TOO toasted.

  88. GAH!!! I’m doing this on my dumbass phone that HATES me, so I don’t know if my comment appeared or not and I want to complain more but I also don’t want to sound too whiny and like a dick.

    I’ll complain about something else, just in case. The first crush I’ve had on an actual gay girl happens to be on a teacher at my school. A closeted teacher. And all my guy friends think I’m a boss for “mac’ing” her. But I’m not, ‘cos I really like her. Even though it’s totes illegal. And she’s like, 6 years my senior. But she’s PERFECT. Fuuuuuck.

  89. I has 30-something angst feelings….

    I wanna pick up and move across the world…Just to do it. But am scurred to drop the stability of gainful employment. And it seems that no one in Western Europe is looking for an Admin Asst.

    Plus- what would I do with my cat? I love him. :[

    Feelings… :O

  90. I could’ve used this yesterday or two days ago!
    Things were really hard then, but then I had some good talks and settled down.

    But I have been feeling a little lonely and especially wanting some lady love but being unable to do that because girls are scary, maybe?
    And it’s been really uncomfortably hot.
    And I can hear people moving around right upstairs from me. Also today I learned that I can hear them having sex! So, that’s fun for them, I guess…
    But mostly creaky floors and drawers being opened.

    There aren’t many single ladies who like ladies around here :(

  91. jack layton and his mustache are stepping down right after things were getting good because he has cancer and it’s so sad.

    • Not the mustache! :(

      Also, I just HATE Stephen Harper so much. And I feel like he hates me too.

      • he does hate you TJ. and he probably hates your mom too and all your friends and puppies and anything that is made of goodness and light.

        his picture hangs in the hall in my office and the other day i tried to purposely make it crooked and it wouldn’t even budge, it just hung there, with his dead robot eyes staring out at me, defiantly straight. that’s how much he hates queers.

  92. The changing room lights made me want to start crying.
    I made a miscalculation and my favourite tv show isn’t on for two days.
    …haha, all i’ve got.

  93. I’m angry that I got sick and my vacation had to be postponed and now I have to be at work.



    • Rick Perry has been in office for 11 years. WHY.

      Also I’m angry that it’s so fucking dry in Texas. Thanks for praying away the drought, Rick. Lol.

    • it really makes me mad that he ousted the person who has kicked ass at being speaker of the house (pelosi) and took over their job without a damn clue to what it actually entails. what a twat!!!!!! i don’t use that word lightly

      he’s wasting everyone’s time, he doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing, his party doesn’t even support his actions anymore, HE CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HALF TEHE SHIT THAT COMES OUT OF HIS OWN MOUTH, he just needs to get the fuck out for the sake of everyone!!!

  95. The Starkid website has broken my chrome browser! Rage! All I was trying to do was buy a t-shirt! D:



      • Yes. Yes, I did. I giggled, and then realised I was too lazy to sign up for a teen choice account.

  96. Also, and this may be controversial: [this part of the comment has been deleted as per the instructions in the post which clearly stated this thread is for commentary on everything in the whole wide world except this website and that comments regarding this website would be deleted]

    • [this comment has been deleted as per the instructions in the post which clearly stated this thread is for commentary on everything in the whole wide world except this website and that comments regarding this website would be deleted]

    • ugh yes. facebook is the worst. i recently re-activated mine because a close friend of mine talked me into it and i’m already regretting it. 1) after not having facebook for nearly 2 weeks being back on it feels pointless and boring 2) goodbye productivity. 3)the word like is obnoxious when used excessively. wish they were +1 buttons instead. a +1 is more like “i can relate” than “your sad/angry feelings make me smile”, y’know?

  97. I’m angry at death, it’s changed my life forever this year. I don’t like what I’ve had to deal with, I don’t like it at all.

    I can’t stand the term “firstworldproblems” and now people perceive me as insensitive because I’m annoyed at the mundane thing that’s bothering them when I have an actual real thing that’s changed me forever.

    Fuck you death. Fuck you.

    • I’m sorry Jules. I am sorry for your loss and for the impact it’s had and for the inability of others to deal with the weight of what’s happened to you.

      I can remember a few years ago after a family member killed himself a friend spending a whole lunch talking about her boy troubles. I had no fucks to give. I nearly burst out laughing at her lack of perspective. Fuck that shit.

  98. I was “dating”, and by dating I mean drunk hooking up, sober hanging out and talking all the time etc, this girl and I like her a lot and then she completely ditched me at this huge pride party we went to together on Saturday and then yesterday gave me a speech about not being over her ex and sorry for using me etc.

    And since I only came out recently, she’s pretty much the first person I’ve liked in a long long time.

    And on top of that, the guy I was dating, who I broke up with due to said coming out, keeps fbchatting me and trying to convince me the whole gay thing is just a phase and shit and I am so full of rage.

    I also have to go to work in an hour but it’s rainy and I don’t want to wait for the bus.

    Also also I am SO FUCKING POOR.

  99. Also- I’m thinking of being a linguistics scholar…so I can find a word in any human language meaning “romantically and physically attracted to more than one gender” that is way better than “bisexual”. I just hate that word with a passion and do not identify with it at all.

    I know there has to be a word out there…so many languages…so many words!

    • Pansexual, omnisexual, multisexual, and queer are all established (and beautifully non-binarist) options for you. But if none of those are right, by all means invent a word to fill the lexical gap where your sexuality currently resides. I’m sure it’ll be totally awesome :)

      • Hmm…I am not a fan of the -sexual suffix, tbh…It makes the first three terms (along with bisexual) clinical and generic (and emphasizes that it’s “all about sex”).

  100. Medical billllzzzz why can’t I live in Canada?! Why do Republicans hate me so hard? It’s like everything they do is all to ruin my life because I am important and it’s all about me.

    Going to San Diego tomorrow…Seattle weather has some benefits. I don’t want to shave my legs. And even if it was nice out, in Seattle I could walk around with fuzzy legs and all anybody would say is “oh look it’s another fucking hippie,” and everywhere else people act like lady leg hair is so gross they might vomit all overly cute Vans, or at least muster a few threatening dry heaves.

    Also the only person I know in San Diego is my dad and I’ll be there for three weeks and I’m nervous.

  101. I went out of the country for three weeks and while I was away I developed feelings (that may or may not be a figment of my imagination) for a close friend who had started fucking a mutual friend of ours while i was away, and then I told her about it and she was not nice as usual and I was sad. Then I realized I was projecting all of my shit about not being loved at her but I still sort of have feelings and we skyped last night and she was in the mutual friend’s HOUSE and I just feel so weird so so so weird and I think they’re hiding something from me and everything is ruined and I should have never gone away.
    Also I’ve been in the middle of a breakdown for the past 4-5 months and I started taking antidepressants and they don’t fucking work, I’m actually worse than when I started on them. I think I was misdiagnosed and actually have bipolar depression and I don’t want to be crazy. But I had a dream last night about killing myself with my dad’s kitchen knife and I’m scared and can’t tell anyone because no one likes to hear a depressed person whine about how they wish they were dead
    : ( : ( everything hurts AS, thank you for making a space where I could vent and I am just SO ANGRY that I feel this pathetic.

    • I don’t have anything much helpful to say, but an acquaintance of mine is on antidepressants and they seemed to take a while to start helping for her.
      Also, I totally get the not wanting to talk about it ’cause, yeah, a lot of people don’t like to hear it, but most friends will appreciate how important it is to listen to you. And even if they don’t – we’re here, and we love you, and you can vent at us all you want. <3

      All my hugs. All of them.

    • Woah girly, please tell someone how you’re feeling. Not your friends necessarily, because I totally get how much worse it is when you feel like you’re bringing them down, but anyone else. I don’t know what your situation is but perhaps there’s some kind of free counselling service in your town?
      I have a friend who feels similarly to how you described in your second paragraph and I’ve been going with her to counselling sessions; I think it’s helping her just having someone impartial to talk about it to.
      I agree with Gabe, antideps do take a while to start working so please hang in there and give them a chance.
      Know that there are people who do care, we’re always here to help or just listen :) *sends hugs, chocolate*

    • Some people just don’t react well with certain antidepressants. The key is to shop around a bit (if you need to, there’s no real harm in it, anyway). If you’ve been on it for a few months, and it’s not working, or having adverse effects, it probably won’t change anytime soon. Also, if you DO have bipolar disorder, MOST antidepressants will help that too (there are some exceptions; I’ve been told that Zoloft can really exacerbate bipolar). And finally… get counseling and don’t stop getting counseling, if that’s an option for you. And if you’re in therapy now, express to them your concerns about your diagnosis. They really shouldn’t mind (in fact, they might appreciate) an inquisitive patient. Finally, don’t think you’re crazy. I know that I’m Crazy Town is the number one destination spot for the already depressed mind, but you’re not crazy. And if you can’t convince yourself otherwise, there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m “crazy” too, if that’s the case. I hope you see this comment and also, hang in there.

      #I’mNotaTherapist #IWasanEnglishMajorActually #ButI’veBeeninTherapySinceAge10 #I’mBasicallyaLicensedPsychiatristatThisPoint #NotReally

      • I just realized I made two final points. Oops.

        Also, I might have made it sound like “oh, if the meds aren’t working now they never will.” Basically if the one you’re on now – if you’ve been on it for quite a while – isn’t working, then maybe it’s time to consider something else. I have taken literally – LITERALLY – every antidepressant there is. The only thing that has worked perfectly is Prozac, but it took me a long time to figure that out, and I’m so glad I finally did. “Shopping around” was totally worth it.

    • Hon, if the meds are making you worse, they are not the right ones for you. I echo the idea that you have to tell someone about this.

      In college the clinic started me on Zoloft for completelyinsaneanxietyattacks but it made me suicidal so they switched me to Lexapro and it is much, much better for me. I’m just glad I realized that’s what it was.

    • If I were you I would get re evaluated/2nd opinion, my wife is bipolar & it took forever to get the right doc/meds but once we did SHE IS ABSOLUTEDLY FINE NOW. The right meds do work!

  102. recently single again and my ex has a new girlfriend already. gives me the face of the first cat at the top of this post

  103. My cat is missing and we’ve searched the entire farm for him and all of the shelters and he’s 14 so maybe he just went to sleep somewhere and didn’t wake up but maybe coyotes got him and why is there no sign of him anywhere we all love him so much and he’s the best cat ever and so sweet and I should have my toes under his warm fuzzy kitty belly right now and I just want my cat back so bad you guys or at least to know what happened and I just miss him so much his name is my password for everything so everytime I check my email I am sad in a new place and I just want to snuggle him so bad because it’s his job to make me feel better when I’m sad but if I’m sad because he’s not here there is just an endless cycle of sad and I just… I just want my cat back, you guys. :/

  104. I am pissed because some asshole in the German department at my home university will not approve a transfer credit for a course I took IN GERMAN, IN THE GERMAN DEPARTMENT OF A GERMAN UNIVERSITY IN GERMANY. And without it I have to postpone my graduation to next year and spend $2000+ on a course to “make up” for this one. It is so unbelievably ridiculous that I don’t even know what to say anymore. So I will just silently fume. (not like I have any other choice because currently I am still on a whole ‘nother continent than abovementioned asshole and he has decided to ignore my emails altogether)

    Actually, I take back the part about silently fuming.


      • Done. Am now in talks with the department chair as well as someone at the exchange office, both of which seem infinitely more reasonable than him. Fingers crossed.

          • OMG! Guess what?! After I shot off a massive email that was politely-worded and rationally-argued but also full of thinly-veiled snark, I exchanged emails with the department chair all day before he finally gave in last night. Amazing. If only I had thought to do this a month ago though, it would have saved me a whole lot of hand-wringing and bitching sessions.


          • HELL YEAH. Go you! Rationality and snark prevail… the way things should be.

            I have fought MANY a battle with university administration (like the time they lost my paper and tried to fail me for a course I got an A on – that was nasty), so I really felt your pain.

          • Yeah, damn university bureaucracies… just gotta show ’em who’s boss.

            Anyway, thanks for all the encouragement + support : )

            Now that I suddenly have all this money that is no longer in danger of being snatched away, I feel like spoiling myself… I see a 32″ LCD screen appearing in my room in the near future. Maybe : )


    how was that? i was feeling my inner diva coming out.