OPEN THREAD: All I Want for Christmakwanzakah is You, So Get In Here


Happy holigays, bitches, and welcome to the 6th Annual Christmakwanzakah Open Thread! This is a safe and special place we create every year for you to use as refuge from your family, a recipe depository from your holigay feasts, and also a friend-making machine. Please do feel free to comment here with tales of holigays past, pictures of your weird uncle in a full Santa outfit, information about the drank in your cup, and/or holigay-themed photos of your pets. Here, I’ll go first!


Current drink in my cup, by the way? It varies, but one thing stays the same: NOT. ENOUGH. BOOZE. IN. THE. WORLD.

If you’re like me, you’ll spend today desperately refreshing a package tracking link, sending a big ol’ batch of holiday cards (they’re not late unless you send them after December 26, it’s a technicality, I’m serious), attempting to view a claymation movie about the Heat Miser, and contemplating how to make it possible to bring hot, mulled wine to dinner tomorrow. If you’re like other people, you might be opening gifts, eating chinese food, petting a cat, or rocking around a tree. Honestly, no matter who you are in this world, you’re probably a winner, so. That’s about all I have to say about that. Now that we’ve covered this part of the day, TAKE THE HOLIGAY POLL!

I said Heat Miser because like, um. Duh? Like, I think that’s my Facebook profile picture. MOVING ALONG!

The holigay season open thread is an established tradition steeped in richness here at Autostraddle dot com, and I’m super duper totally honored to be hosting this digital soiree this year. When I think about the holigays, and I think about family, I think a lot about my chosen family — and so many of the people who work for and read this website are the people who come to mind when I’m writing cards, wrapping gifts, singing carols, checking my list and checking it twice, eating cookies left for me by strangers across the country, and doing other general business at the North Pole. And that’s special! So thank you for being here, and I hope you like these apple cookies I made because I had to skip making the eggnog cookies because I was just too busy eating at a bunch of diners with my mom. I hope you understand.

I’d like to offer up my own memories of Christmakwanzakah open threads past in commemoration of this occasion and remind you all that my person Geneva made this meme last year and it remains perfect. As an aside, I also frequently speak in doge and I think it’s kind of becoming a problem.

Ho Ho Ho! Very Cheer!


So, what else is there to say? We’re here, we’re queer, we’re either about to stuff our faces or about to watch a lot of Netflix and at the end of the day, I’m madly in love with you. NOW LEAVE A COMMENT AND SPREAD THE LOVE, YOU GLORIOUS MOTHERFUCKERS.

Lastly, Muppets. Because like, we are all made of Muppets, right? Unless they scare you. In which case, forgive me lover for I DON’T CARE.

Also, you should probably use the last days of the holigay season to share your memories and feelings online with the hashtag #HappyHoligays! Just saying. I’m totally not biased or trying to make this hashtag trend or anything, I promise.

How To Post A Photo In The Comments:

1. Find a photo! This is the easy part. Find a photo on the web, right click (on a Mac, control+click), hit “Copy Image URL” and then…

2. Code it in to your comment! Use the following code, and use a DIRECT LINK to the image. Your image link should end in .JPG or .GIF or .PNG or .CallMeWhateverYouWant even. I don’t care, but it should be an image suffix! KINDA LIKE THIS:

If you need to upload the photo you love from your computer, try using imgur. To learn more about posting photos, check out Ali’s step-by-step guide.

How To Post A Video In The Comments, Too:

1. Find a video on YouTube or Vimeo or WHATEVER and click “embed.” Copy that code, but first make sure it’s for 640 px wide or less. If your player is too large, it will not display properly.

2. Copy the code and paste it directly into your comment.

3. Go forth and jam.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

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Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen on Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.

Carmen has written 919 articles for us.


  1. It’s after 2 pm on Christmas Eve Day, and this Jew is sitting on the couch with the dog, eating Nutella with a spoon. I have laundry to do, and then tonight will be the 4th annual Jew & Buddhist eat Thai food on Christmas Eve- it’s a tradition with a friend. My mom tried to Jewish guilt me into coming home for Jewish Christmas. No thank you.

    I’m also listening to sappy Christmas love songs and pining over a certain somebody…as one does. I wrote a lyric about said pining last night at around 2 am. UGH.

    So, that’s me. If you actually celebrate Christmas, enjoy the f*ck out of it!!! I’m here for you, procrastinating my laundry.

    • could you do my laundry too? i have worn my santa sweatshirt like three times in six days. shit is bleak but also adorable so. HAPPY THAI FOOD DAY RACHEL!

  2. I never thought John Denver and the Muppets singing a Christmas carol was something I needed in my life. Thanks for proving me so very wrong.

  3. This Saturday I was in canada with my family and we fit like, 25 people around this tiny narrow table and we sang songs while my uncle played the guitar and then my aunt and uncle dueted and it was also the celebration of my other aunt and uncle’s 25th and it was amazing.
    And I’m really excited for the day after Christmas cause I’m seeing my girlfriend for the first time in like a month and a half for breakfast :D

      • It was talk about that or the argument about safe spaces I had with my mother. This was much more cheerful.
        though in the spirit of venting the Catholic church’s official position appears to be that lesbIan women should not have children eexcept through intercourse with men.
        Not surprising but…

  4.  photo IMG_1114_zpsa7d83fdf.jpg

    The Holigays for me are all about the sweaters. Dancing Santa Clauses? Yes, please!

    Going to be eating before family Christmas because, you know, being a vegetarian is way more horrific than being a gay lady. Stuffing my face with a healthy supply of give a f*cks, and I’m off! Happy Holigays everyone!

  5. Grumpy cat all the way!

    Just got off a short day at work. I was initially going to just hang out by myself, but I decided to drive over and visit a few immediate family members. Just a small, comfortable gathering.

    The sun is out. I’m feeling optimistic. I’m feeling hopeful and energized and nourished. I’m learning to be gentle – get enough sleep, enough calories. No shame in that.

    I recently re-started recovery from a long struggle with an eating disorder, and so far, it feels pretty okay. I’m in a different spot in life than I was last time I relapsed, and most of the initial triggers aren’t there. I’m more mature, more self-aware; the illness is less a part of my identity, more an annoyance. It’s like an annoying piece of baggage I’ve been too complacent to shake. I’ve developed other parts of my identity; life has stabilized.

    Besides, the worst thing that can happen is relapsing again, which is no worse than where I’m at now. Trying and failing is no worse than not trying at all. This was kind of an epiphany. There’s no use in being afraid of failure.

    And one of the pieces of identity I developed involved coming out to myself. Accepting myself, my identity, my body. Recognizing that it’s ok to have breasts and curves, even if I’m not attracted to men (maybe that sounds weird, but my breasts have always been a huge source of body shame for me, and I think part of it was related to my closetedness, if that makes any sense at all). Recognizing that there are so many different components to my existence, so many things worth living for. It’s not the whole puzzle, but one of the puzzle pieces.

    I am feeling empowered. I am in control. I don’t have to be weak and undernourished for the rest of my life. I don’t have to be alone and ashamed of myself or my sexuality for the rest of my life either. To hell with what others think. 25 isn’t too old to turn your life around again. And I can restart as many times as you need. Life’s a giant growing process.

    Sorry for possibly oversharing and rambling. But right now I just feel like the days are getting longer and the sun is shining and life is okay.

    Here’s a happy sunshine photo from a recent hike:

    • Winter season’s greetings to you (and may the cloud creatures bless your feet).
      You seem cool, and I am jealous of your photo taking skills.
      Gah I am bad at speaking. Realizing that failure is not a horrible thing all the time is something I’m still struggling with and um..
      Merry Christmas and happy Solstice.
      (Note to self: get better at ralking)

    • I’m very happy and proud that you are in a place where life doesn’t have to feel so difficult, where life can be good. That’s awesome!! I really love your healthy perspective.

      As usual, lovely lovely photograph. Nature stuff brings me lots of joy.

    • Cheers for feeling empowered and optimistic and energized! Seriously, that’s wonderful and I am very happy for you. That photo is beautiful.

    • Lovely photo– I think it actually looks hopeful. All that light breaking through.

      I’m also working on recovery– as everyone keeps saying, this is not an easy time of year, and remember to be gentle and have grace with yourself if need be. I hope you’ll come through with flying colors (like your picture!), but I just wanted to toss that out there, because it’s helping me at the moment.

    • that looks like it was a really nice hike. i can feel the forest through your picture. many hugs. =)

    • Thank you everyone. Your kind words mean so much, even if I don’t know you guys personally. <3 I love how incredibly kind and supportive this community is. Hugs to everyone – I know the holidays can be rough sometimes.

      And thanks for the comments on the photo too, nature is so soothing to me. :)

    • Hi, Patricia, thanks for your honesty & the cool pic makes me want to take a walk in the woods. I am in recovery as well- mostly from drugs & alcohol but I also realize all the layers of healing & all the stuff holidays bring up for me. Today I am doing the best that I am doing. Sending you love & light, virtual hugs and wish for you peace & healing. Recovery takes huevos…

      • Thank you – I wish you the best in your recovery as well. Stay strong, stay courageous, and be gentle on yourself.

  6. Guys guys guys i turn 26 tomorrow (the 25th) & im so glad to see year 25 go away bc 2014 has been shitty as hell for me. So despite the fact that the world sucks on toast, im doing my damnedest to not entertain the bad thoughts today or tomorrow. I’m so fuckin drained from this year, from this week, and all i want is for my birthday/Christmas/birthmas to go well. And then i actually have a birthday party on Saturday, and a friend is letting me use her apartment for it. I’ll wear my queer sweater then, but for today it’s leggings and big sweater, and tomorrow i want my Camp hoodie (soft).

    So yeah.

  7. I’m hiding out and drinking wine trying to avoid the crippling combination of anxiety, guilt, and low self-worth that I feel around family-type people. I just took my dogs on like a two hour walk so I could get out of the house.

    Also dogs are so badass, they’ll like stop in the middle of a crosswalk and just take a shit in front of the whole damn world. I can’t take a shit when there’s an attractive human within a ten mile radius. Then again, dogs tend to enjoy sniffing butts and licking their own genitals, so maybe they’re not the best role models? Although hey, sometimes being able to lick your own genitals might be useful…

    • I’m sending you good vibes through the Internet in the hopes that it will work. I feel guilty and anxious at family things too a lot of the time. Here’s to hoping everything goes your way.

    • I really like the dog philosophy of life you just explained. I’m going to give that some thought . . .

  8. It’s Christmas in Australia already! I’m having a we’ve-moved-far-from-our-parental-homes-and-we’re-excited-but-terrified-and-inept-new-adults celebration with my best queer bud, and we’re cooking a TURDUCKEN because no one can stop us. When the food haze finally were off we’re gonna go pump iron in our (very secondhand) home gym, and make super frilly pink cupcakes, because fuck gender roles.

  9. It is Christmas day in New Zealand and
    Vegetarian Pizza is cooking in the oven
    coconut ice cream is in the fridge
    Orange Juice, Tonic and beer in the fridge
    It might be hot so my super soaker water guns are primed and loaded
    Super soaker guns fun will be the situation between my sister, her husband, my girlfriend and my sisters kids after we have had a picnic on my lawn with two cats who hate each other

    Then its picnic and bbq at my girlfriends family
    My family is overseas so this year its a very casual affair, which is how I like it… no drama… few relatives… nice food… bbqs, summer, a swim at the beach, and easiness.

    May this delightful thread of Carmen’s find you supported, having a laugh with someone, and the friend making machine that it can be ((()))

  10. I’m trying to be a christmas elf today. I made christmas cookies, well sorta cookies, various holiday hersheys kisses melted on pretzels. I’m about to wrap presents and listen to holiday music.
    Yesterday I started and finished carmilla and i am so in love with that show!!!

  11. I’m currently playing poker with my cousins. And losing. The holidays are usually tolerable but everyone keeps joking that my ALH looks like I just got out of bed. But that’s pretty much the least in terms of unpleasant family things, so it’s okay. No one’s said anything homophobic yet.
    I keep having this recurring dream that Samira Wiley invites me to chill with her and every time I wake up I am severely disappointed. This is what happens when I marathon OitNB while making Christmas presents.
    I promised an outfit picture this week so remind me to take a nice picture when I get home, because I’m wearing my skirt with pockets today.
    I was waiting all week for this girl to call me because I don’t have her number and when she finally called I intentionally didn’t pick up. Because I do these things to myself and I don’t know why.
    But actually the holidays have been decent this year. I can never go back to the way things were when I was a kid, but I keep my head up.

  12. I’m blazing through my Christmas TV episode/movie watch list. Currently finishing up the Tiny Toons Christmas special. Onward to The Golden Girls!

  13. hiiiiiiiiii guuuuuuuuuys.

    I am a little anxious/wary about family times with my family this xmas eve and morning, and then we are going to gf’s family, who will be fine. Our Jewish friend comes to visit us always this time of year, and she’s so great, and my family will just be a clusterfuck of my brother’s new girlfriends and all of us.

    I just hope to holey buckets everybody behaves themselves and we can have a pleasant time. I am sort of a delicate flower these days about getting my feelings hurt specifically by my family, but I’m trying to manage that without too many expectations of how anybody is going to behave, though gf and I are going to come up with a code word for “come over here please I need you to run some interference” which I really appreciate.

    I’m hopeful for a pleasant and low-key Christmas. I might cry (but like I cry at commercials) and I might have to do some deep breathing, but probably we’ll manage and then we’ll come home with our friend and be like “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck” and then talk about it until everything seems funny.

      • Thanks! It all went okay! Things rushed by pretty quick and we had an awkward peace with all siblings involves and now I am in bed while girlfriend is playing games with her family, which is great, but it’s 11, and we went t

  14. I arrived back home for Christmas yesterday evening and had the most awkward ride from the airport with my parents. No one spoke while we were in the car, I don’t know why but I am sure it is something I did (Or they will at least blame me for). Luckily I am not staying at their place but I have to go to the parentals tomorrow for lunch and dinner with the family.
    It is weird how that even though I have never been happier in my life they still manage to make me feel small and insignificant.
    To make myself forget the oncoming doom I am watching the sound of music, drinking tea and eating delicious chips (or crisps for the UK crowd :) )

  15. I’m in Ohio! Most of the time has been spent in the kitchen in a flurry of Christmas cookie production, but we did venture to a light show at the zoo which was probably the trippiest experience of my life – zoo animals, millions of flashing lights and music that included a rock-and-roll interpretation of Bizet’s Arlesienne Suite and a techno hip-hop remix of My Favourite Things. It was completely surreal. So.. Christmas here is exhausting but I’m super excited to be spending it with my girlfriend :)

    Happy Holigays to everyone!

  16. this isnt strictly holiday related, but last night i had a dream that i was dating Emma Stone, and the night before it was Margaery Tyrell. good times!

  17. I came home for Christmas and immediately acquired a cold, and my plans have downgraded from “catching up with family and friends” to “trying not to sneeze on any family or friends”. Being sick on Christmas is THE WORST.

  18. I love love love the holidays. Today I’m spending the day with my wife, rocking out to an excellent Christmas playlist I’ve been honing all month long. We’ve been baking, cooking, cleaning, shopping, wrapping, and generally making preparations for tonight and tomorrow. Tonight we’re having another couple over for party foods, lots of alcohol, and hot tubbing. Tomorrow we’re going to a different couple’s house for traditional Christmas dinner and lots of alcohol. Ha. Our families are back home, which is why they aren’t making an appearance during our holiday festivities. Oh yeah, and my 32nd birthday is a week from today! And five years ago today, my gorgeous wife proposed… late Christmas Eve night in the ice and snow by romantic street lamp light at a pretty lake park we had frequented all that summer. So it’s a special day for that reason, too. We have a bottle of the wine we drank that night all ready for a special toast once our house empties out and special Christmas Eve gifts, too. All in all, it’s a perfect magical happy time for me. Happy Christmakwanzakah to everyone!

    • Romantic street light lamp doesn’t sound right… hahaha. I was trying to paint you a picture. :p They were like these really pretty, really vintage looking street lamps… hahaahaha

    • this is so awesome! happy holigays and also can you share your playlist with me because christmas music is my passion.

  19. It’s shaping up that I’m going to miss my layover and will end up spending Christmas Eve in Denver on my way to New Mexico. Do you think dispensaries will be open? Bc wth else am I going to do lol

  20. I am currently at work, wishing I was at home with my sisters. Trying not to be too whiney about it.. but it really kinda sucks. But I’m off tomorrow for actual Christmas! So that is super exciting. And my family is pretty fun with moderate to heavy alchohol consumption, so it should be a fun day! Happy Holigays to everyone!

    ps: this is my FIRST open thread comment! so yay! I finally took the plunge!

    • Congratulations on your first open thread! I’m sorry you can’t be home with your sisters, but I’m happy you get tomorrow off.

    • thank you for taking the plunge, julia! it’s gonna be a brighter era of open threads with you here. hope you are very merry and drunk tomorrow and happy holigays!

  21. xmas in arizona: leaving the thermostat off so i can experience cold weather.

    happy holidays friendos! i love uuuuuuuu <3333

    -Team Linus, including the blanket.

  22. Ok there is an attractive girl human sitting two pews ahead of me and I’ve never seen her before. This is significant because my church only has about 70 members so everyone knows everyone.

    My entire family is here for the service this year which has never happened ever. I think it’s because my uncle is dying in the hospital and we want to treasure the time we spend together. And my grandparents are getting older. My family has the good and has the bad but ultimately I love them. And everything feels sort of weird this year. I’m growing up.

    That was a strange juxtaposition of thoughts. My brain just seems to work that way. Holidays make me philosophical in odd ways.

      • I didn’t because my family was everywhere but I overheard her talking and she has the same name as the first girl I ever had a huge crush on. So that’s interesting.

  23. I plan to be going to my friends house tomorrow with a buddy of mines(hopefully he drives). I plan to give him(& hopefully sample) a nice bottle of bourbon suggested in this site. I’m Jewish so for me Christmas just meant being with relatives and eating homemade Persian food, and since I am in SoCal that means outdoor bbqing.

    On another note, over the weekend I got into a heated internet debate with another person who is a gender identity watch supporter(I didn’t realize it at first or else I’d avoided it). I know they like to out trans* people and try to make life hell for them, but I am not sure what info they can use. Oh well, drinking tomorrow should help me forget that problem.

  24. Right there with you on the heat miser. My outfits are just my hair’s special guests.

    I have mentioned probs in every comment this month that Christmas is just a speed bump before my gf visits, But! I forgot my good buddy visits fam here, and needs me as a supplement to alcohol intake.

  25. After days of cleaning and wrapping and shopping and stressing and having 2 minor hysterical panics, I am finally watching TV with my missus and drinking mulled cider.

    Here’s my hair from last week (if it works)


    And my dog in her Christmas jumper.

    Christmas day with in and out laws is under control…we think…although the turkey is still not defrosted… We are once again looking forward to boxing day bigot bingo with G-ma (thankfully not Christmas day this year). Which Son in law will she pick on this year? The one who gave her a gay grandchild, the one who gave her a disabled grandchild or the one who gave her a mixed race grandchild? Roll on the 28th when I get to see my chosen family who I have been so busy I haven’t seen in an age.

    Have wonderful holigays everyone wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.

  26. At the store the other day I responded to a cashier with an accidental and enthusiastic “happy holigays!” He looked really confused and I thought it was hilarious so have now made it my go to. Which I’m confident has been an excellent choice.

    Also, I’m currently in between family gatherings. Brunch and then a huge (fun yet draining) evening of exchanging gifts with extended family members who we only see two or three times a year. Then Mass at midnight where my parents hope and pray that no one figures out I’m gay or my brother is an atheist. Being able to read through this thread was just what I needed to rally for the evening. I’ll definitely be back for more good vibes.

    Ps: Thanks Carmen!

  27. It’s late on Christmas Eve here in the UK and I am SO TIRED (and so not ready for tomorrow!) but just wanted to wish all you Autostraddlers a Merry Christmas and send you all some sparkly consensual hugs!

    Love you all!

  28. I spent the day working at the hospital with kiddos. And while I’m usually in alignment with a shower-beer, today is a special shower-something on the rocks. Maybe a skype marathon with some buds. I don’t know if I’ll have enough time!

  29. Christmas is gonna be real lowkey this year but it’s all good. I saw my grandma in the nursing home for the first time since Thanksgiving and she recognized us! And the Carmilla Christmas Special was the right amount of creepy and endearing and my sister bought me a BMO mug for my birthday and a lot of my books came in and I’m just pretty content to be honest. Hope you all have a happy holiday!

  30. My partner and I are currently trapped in a car for another hour with my father-in-law, and he just asked her when she knew she wasn’t attracted to men.

    He has asked her this question every time he’s seen her for the last 20 years.

    She’s handling it pretty well, so she gets all the love and snuggles later for being the best human.

    Plus, it’s a step up from yesterday, when he asked me my bra size after I caught him blatantly staring at my chest.

    Good news though!!!!!
    We finally got to meet our 5 month old nephew, who is obviously beautiful and perfect and we had the best best best day with my sister and brother in law, who fed us really well and gave us amazing gifts and a day of sanity.

    We’ve got one more day here, then it’s off to see my family in MA for a few days, where everything will undoubtedly worsen.

    But every day we are just a little bit closer to being home again alone with our awesome dog, so I keep repeating that to myself, and it helps.


  31. I promised a picture of my holiday outfit so here it is (notice the lack of snow even though this is MinneSNOWda and my disappointment therein)

  32. I’m in the Upper Peninsula with my super conservative relatives but I brought my fireball to drink and got some eggnog so it could be worse

  33. I’m clearly grumpy cat sipping a mojito in a studded leather vest hanging with people not related to me because if I hear dumb shit like, “Hands up don’t loot!”, again I might not be able to restrain myself.

    One does simply not throw a chicken wing at one’s mother.

    It doesn’t foster understanding or empathy just the furthers the notion you’re an unbalanced bleeding heart liberal that doesn’t understand how the world works.

    Pugs in sleds, mojitoes, studded leather, silly skinny doggies, AS and gingerbread these are just a few of my favorite things…..and I don’t feel so baaaaad.

    More like rad.

      • Thanks for hug ^-^

        The thing is I was not talking to her it was just conversation on the whole “Ferguson ring-a-ma-role” that started up at the dinner table. The night before the funeral where as many of us immediate family members gathered to organise pictures for the wake and remember my grandfather.

        My grandfather, who according to a conversation I heard later that night between my Gams and my mother was the most “profoundly prejudiced” person she had ever known.

        I was at peace with his death, but now I’m kind of at odds with his life and my memories.
        It’s kinda ironic tho, cause he’s part of the reason why I view the ancient world as brown rather than tiny nosed, blue eyed fake tanned white people with the POC playing the villains or all the slaves Hollywood version of the ancient world.

        Smithsonian magazine, the gift that keeps on giving. Like my ability to find humor in the ridiculousness that is my life. :p

  34. halloooo happy Christmas Eve friends! (or Christmas for those of you who are thoroughly beating north america in the time zone game)

    I’m currently standing in front of a fire and it is fantastic. I should really be helping my mom with Christmas prep cuz her whole family will be coming over tomorrow night, but I can’t seem to convince myself to move from the warm fireplace.

    I’ve been staying pretty busy with family stuff. family reunion / Christmas parties Saturday Sunday and Monday. I’ve also been PMSing and thus crying a lot just to add a little extra fun into the mix. I got really upset Monday and almost skipped that party, but I’m glad I didn’t. I ended up having a long conversation with an 11 year old cousin of mine which began with us admitting that we had no idea who the other was. she was cute and quirky and apparently plays the euphonium?? before that, she seemed like she was having a pretty awkward time of it, so I’m pretty glad I was there and hopefully made her have a little more fun.

    today has been busy busy getting stuff ready for my moms family to come over tomorrow night. prep has included making homemade French 75 mix because what’s a Christmas party without champagne cocktails. I’m looking forward to it. got all the awkward/unpleasant family shit out of the way and this will all just be people I like.

    quote of the week goes to my sister who was advocating for watching home movies: “if I’m gonna watch another movie today, it better be of myself! that’s what I say.”

    I decided it was necessary to video some of the home movies of me which logically has led to me making gif which I’m now sharing with you lovely people (unless I mess something up–I’m using photobucket so the odds may not be in my favor):
    make sure to imagine that I’m yelling cowabunga! as I leap into the leaves.

    sawing my dad’s legs off while dressed as a pirate for Halloween, as one does

    aaaand happy day after her birthday to jane! happy birthday eve to caitlin!

    • Love your gifs. You look like you’re having so much fun in both of them. Your cousin sounds cool. Mine, by contrast, screamed (in reference to my young niece and nephew), “I’M GOING TO GET MY TUBES TIED!” at Thanksgiving. Another aunt said, “Dear god, you are on the pill, aren’t you? You sleep with anything.” And so on, downhill.

      • haha I could see that being a slightly less charming conversation, yes. I’m sorry! hope your holidays have started looking up since then.

    • “sawing my dad’s legs off while dressed as a pirate for Halloween, as one does”

      Haha, this made me chuckle. :) Very cute gifs. Also I hope everything goes great for you! Happy holidays~

  35. Somehow I managed to wake up today with the flu. So clearly my Christmas is going well. It especially sucks because Christmas Eve in my family is the day that makes me feel the most festive because we celebrate with my mom’s side, aka the cool side of my relatives.

    Hope everyone is enjoying your holidays! Eat some cookies and other home-cooked goodies for me while I lay in bed with youtube and shitty food and contemplate my own mortality. Being sick on Christmas sucks, y’all.

    • Ugh, sorry to hear that. :( I was sick recently too, so I feel your pain! But fortunately I got over it before the holidays so I didn’t share the bug with my lovely parents and brother when I visited. Feel better soon!

  36. I hope everyone has an enjoyable day! As for me, I don’t know what I’m doing tomorrow. I’m on my way to a Christmas party, so it depends on if I meet anyone there, ya know? We’ll see!

    For the voting, I voted for the Mean Girls Jingle Bell Rock costumes, since I have one of those! It’s kinda cold to wear it, however. Outside, at least.

  37. I’m on call for surgical emergencies so don’t let your pets eat weird things! Our ICU has been so busy the last two days. I’m not home with family and this is the first year I’m not with them, so it’s kinda lonely.

    I’ve been sitting at home all day since I discharged my patient early this afternoon. My patient was the cutest, sweetest dog ever and I’m so glad he’s with his family for Christmas.

    I have vacuumed, cleaned the litterboxes, cleaned the dishes, ate leftover Chinese food, and watched Netflix. The cats cuddled with me for awhile today, and that was nice.

    Have a great holiday everyone!

  38. So I’m not really a post-er, but it’s been a rough week and. . . well, yeah. Last week I got dumped by the girl I was seeing for a few weeks and was just starting to get some butterflies about. I woke up the next day with a fever. Apparently I have pneumonia. Then today I found out I will very likely have to put my cat down.

    What’s a girl to do with no girlfriend, no lung capacity, and no cat?

  39. Thank you, Autostraddle, for allowing me to come to terms with the fact that I not only dress like Hermey, but I am Hermey. Time to do some reflecting.
    I am looking forward to a magical Christmas morning, with my 8 year old sister. Excitement is high and on its cutest level. Unfortunately, being closeted, probs won’t receive an L Word box set or boxer briefs, but I must say I SLAYED at my gift giving this year. Imma blow some minds.
    I sincerely hope everyone has a great holiday, and if you do not celebrate, then have a wonderful and magical day. Everyone just be happy and magical! Love to every corner of the world! A gay Christmas to all and to all a good gay!

  40. Hanukkah party yesterday, Chinese food and a movie with Jewish (and honorarily Jewish) friends tomorrow =) Also I’m sick of people saying that Hanukkah bushes are a myth! They’re real! If I didn’t have a Hanukkah bush where would I put my Enterprise ornament?

    Happy holidays!

  41. I lost a Wii bowling tournament to my younger brother, celebrated my sister’s engagement with some champagne, and managed to eat a lot of chocolate. I’d give Christmas a thumbs up so far. I just wish I could fall asleep…

  42. Recovering from having a kind of shitty Christmas Eve with the family.

    Ferguson and such was discussed which led to me trying to push back against statements that I found racially insensitive. This didn’t work too well and I ended up venting online and then the parents found it. Terrible fallout ensued. :(

    On the upside, many wonderful friends took a moment out of their day to send me hugs via text and chat. Also here is a picture I found of a pug in a rainbow shirt with a spiral of more pugs.

  43. HAPPY HOLIGAYS YOU GUYS!!!! <3 So much less than 3!!

    I didn't expect this thread to come early but I guess even the staff has a holiday ;) I'm doing online traffic school yay boo. Good news is it takes place at home. As much I love getting dressed to look nice, traffic school outside of my room seems like it doesn't deserve a tie. Bad news the videos are about EIGHT HOURS all together. So it's basically one window school another window whatever else.

    My sister had her birthday on Saturday which meant Sunday at work was painful to say the least. Karaoke til 1AM. With tequila and beer. Thank God the room was private. Everyone was starting to get crazy over Britney Spears and going "yeah bitch!" into the mic.



    you can’t see it in this pic BUT my necktie is navy and has DEER ANTLERS. #klubdeeer5ever I can also tell cute girls at the mall who say they like it it’s reindeer antlers so I look like I’m VERY into the season. LOL

    I really really miss my wife which makes the holidays a liiiiittle hard on me. I TRY REALLY HARD not to be a Grinch because I don’t wanna be that person who ruined Christmas that one time. She’s working too and hasn’t seen the cat. I said maybe it’s after the birds outside.

    This is my Apollo Lunar Module. Very confusing to put together. It’s landed on my palm!

    My co workers and I wish everyone here HAPPY HOLIGAYS!

    Hope everyone’s day/night is full of love, laughter and cheer. And booze of course. That’s important.

    • Be thankful you can do it online, I got caught on toll road in Orange County and they make do it in person, no way around it.

    • What do you do with all those gorgeous metal creations when you’re done with them? Display them? Give them away?

      • @timtam I have a glass case I put them in. Before I bought that, they were all over my computer desk by the lamp because I thought ‘Oh i can stop making them/this is the VERY last one’ then they started taking over the top of the dresser then THAT started running out of space. LOL. When I first got my glass case I was like ‘oh all the buildings will fit here and the transportation things here’ and NOW I’m sort of running out of space on that. LOL. I’ll try and post a pic next week of where I house them.

  44. Hello. I’m not sure if you may remember me from the post Ali made a few weeks back about Buying an Engagement Ring. Well I have a lovely update for everyone here. As you may know, I am posting anonymously because I cannot run the chance of my person knowing about the proposal. I am pleased to say that the ring is with me, tucked away in a spot no one would ever think of. I want to share this with the community because I know that everyone here who knows me both personally and online would be truly happy for me.

    Everyone here is so supportive of all the other members. I didn’t know a community like this could exist.

    Here’s hoping she will like it :)

    I wish you all a safe and warm holidays whatever you may be celebrating with your chosen or bio families.

    • You did a much better job containing your clues this time, mysterious! They’ll never see it coming :D

    • i normally couldn’t care less about dresses / jewerly / fanciness / etc but the pic of your ring is so beautiful i gasped when i saw it! fwiw, i think your person will be blown away. thanks for sharing with us and so excited for you and your soon-to-be fiance; all the happiness and joy to you.

  45. I just finished making Christmas dinner for one because I can’t afford to go home this year. :( But at least the food is good! I used my mom’s recipes which honestly makes me miss my family more. At least I get to spend the day watching Netflix…trying not to feel lame or sad for spending Christmas alone. This will be the first time ever and I’m not looking forward to it. :(

    • It’s nice that you got to connect with your family through cooking! I wish you the best of luck. You can get through it~ Happy holidays!

  46. My family does gifts and everything on Christmas Eve, so that’s all over already. Tomorrow I’m actually spending Christmas with friends, which I’ve never done before. I got everything I wanted and I feel spoiled. I think it’s because my parents are feeling extra sorry for me since the woman I thought was the love of my life dumped me last month. My little sister’s gift didn’t arrive on time and I got my period and broke my glasses today, so most of my day was spent crying in bed and wishing my heart wasn’t broken. But at least now I have a broken heart AND a Keurig. ALSO THIS IS MY FIRST POST merry Christmas to myself for getting over my anxiety enough to finally post something after reading Autostraddle religiously for a couple years now

    • Yay for first post!!
      I’m sorry that your holidays have been rough so far :( but I hope you have a fantastic time with your friends on the 25th!

    • Hey Heather! Congrats on the first post; we’ve all been there. I hope you enjoy yourself. :D

      I’m terribly sorry about how tough things have been. Glad to know that your friends and family are there for you; you deserve to get spoiled! Happy holidays to you, I hope things start to look up soon!

  47. I’m currently sitting at home with my hand in a cast due to having surgery this morning on my broken finger.

    However my mother isn’t speaking to currently because I refuse to stay in their house one day past Christmas, but she’s always passive-aggressive, so what else is new… And she wonders why I don’t come back that often?

    But! the good news is that I get to go to an Autostraddle meetup on Friday AND see the girl I’ve been kinda-sorta-dating on Saturday!! So just gotta survive the next 36hrs!

    Love you all!

    • Oh the logic of mothers. Sounds like solid decision making to go home right after Christmas ! Have fun on your date :)

  48. I’ve been pretty Grinch-ey this year. I’ve been realizing that my depression is far more out of hand than I thought after being in a real dark place for a while last week. But things are looking up! I haven’t cried in 2 days!

    And I finally got my words together and came out over Facebook two days ago so literally everyone knows I’m queer and my actual, real name and my pronouns. I managed to be pleasantly surprised–a lot of my paddling friends responded super well and supportive and I wasn’t expecting that at all (none of my rafting coworkers though, which, well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it in April I guess), or at least to the extent that I got it. A good portion of them are super clueless though and I got a few messages, while lovely, had me shaking my head and going “oh honey”. Even my ex managed to say some nice things (in a pretty douchey way but that’s very in character for him). I’m super pleased about this especially since is SO unseasonably warm here and so I’m hoping this lasts until Friday so I can go do some paddling. And with people that I don’t have to worry about how they’ll react to my queerness and who have my back (esp since I know there will be some shitlords to be dealt with in the future) and I’m just so glad I have proof that I haven’t misplaced my trust in these people and FEEEEELINGS of the good variety.

    However, I’m a bit nervous about Christmas with some of the extended fam tomorrow. Those relatives were conspicuously absent from commenting about this and like I’m certain at least one of them saw the post, so things could be real interesting tomorrow and it wouldn’t surprise me if the words “ruining Christmas” were thrown around directed at me. And my parents haven’t been great about gender stuff (but they’ve been putting in more effort and I think there might be a light at the end of the tunnel) so I can’t count on them to be anything other than superficially supportive. At the same time, I’ve kind of gotten over them and like, if they have a problem with me & my queerness, well, that’s not my fault and not really my problem.

    • Sorry to hear about your depression – it’s such a rough illness to struggle with. I’m glad things are looking up though. Sending virtual hugs.
      And congrats on coming out over FB; that takes a ton of courage. Hope all went ok with your extended family gathering.

  49. I hadn’t been feeling very Christmas-y this month but today I am finally feeling more jolly! So that’s good.

    The fam couldn’t afford a tree this year, but we’re still having people over for boxing day like usual, which will be alright. Not sure if I want to see people or not.

    Basically presents are what I’m looking forward to. And seeing people’s faces when they unwrap the things I got them :) (aka the things I just wrapped today).

  50. My family is really acceptive about me being gay – my mom invites my girlfriend to family parties more than I do
    Tonight, there was me, a gay cousin, one trans boy and another lesbian girl. Sometimes I think I’m more in the closet than my family is about gayness…
    But, in other hand, there’s a lot of explicit acts of anti-feminism, what makes me really sad :(

  51. Well, it’s now Christmas evening in Australia. I just wanted to share that, after my tenth ‘Orphan’s Christmas’, I think I nailed it. Ate and drank all day, and now I’m all caught up on Elementary. The Sound of Music is on now, and its just glorious.

    And to those of you out there who are maybe experiencing Orphan’s Christmas 1 – 9, it really does get better. For reals. xx

  52. Christmas Day here in the UK!
    Back at home from uni for Christmas, as well as recovering from throat surgery. Feeling pretty miserable and in pain, but determined to eat an unholy amount of food and drink enough wine to sink a moderately sized cruise ship. This being the single best way to cope with a family who really don’t get any aspect of queer culture and still ask when I’ll have a boyfriend.

    I have had a bit of a crappy 2014, friends turning out to not be friends (token gay of the group!)and general unhappy stress.
    It is not to get me down though, 2015 will be amazing! I will graduate from my undergraduate degree and hopefully move on to my MPhil, will finally get some medical procedures which will improve my quality of live greatly, and if I’m lucky find the special girl I am searching for ;)

    To all out there, I hope you are enjoying your day and the rest of your holigays, and have a wonderful new year!

    • Like for solidarity not the bad stuff and have and amazing 2015 and MPhil. Hope yester was mostly painless. Happy boxing day.

  53. Here in the UK, and second Christmas away from home. Down with a slight flu and sore throat, skyping the parents right now. Let’s just say the sore throat is a fantastic excuse to speak minimally.

  54. I have nothing to say because this Christmas has pretty cool and our usual arguments. I love you all of you! I can’t wait to meet/hang out with you all of you at camp

  55. Happy Holigays to everyone. It’s 3.45am on Boxing Day morning in Oz and the big day is over. Had a lovely time with the Darlin Girl, also the 3rd anniversary of my official proposal so that was pretty good too. We face timed her sister in Idaho to share our official present opening. She lives halfway up a mountain there and was well snowed in and had told her son not to try to come home because the roads were too dangerous. This was all well and good but it meant she was alone, so hopefully she had some fun with us.
    We had a huge tropical thunder storm in the afternoon,great noisy light show and drenching rain but fortunately no damage.
    My almost sister-in-law told us that it’s freezing at her place and of course it’s 100 degrees here. Nothing like extremes for Christmas.
    I baked a ham and did the roast vegetable thing for dinner, I still don’t know why we insist on this here and don’t go with the light eating and salad flow but the ham was really good and the air con was working so…
    Anyway everyone I send you all best wishes and lots of love and hugs for all who need them. Diane.

  56. Happy Christmakwanzakah everyone! We have gotten a bit of a late start here, and I am still waiting for my parents to get ready so we can open presents. Here is a picture of me in my traditional Christmas sweatshirt that my Mom made for me when I was in the 4th grade (what can I say – I never grew like she expected I would).

    • Gah! Must have screwed up the code somehow. Trying again:

      I should be able to post a picture from Facebook, right?

  57. Today I am going to meet my partner of over a year’s not super queer friendly mother for the very first time, at my house, with my family, on Christmas. She is flying all the way across the country to see her child in the healing stages of top surgery. This is going to be a very interesting holigay…

  58. We celebrated Hannukah with Jewish family last week and we celebrated winter solstice with the non-Christian family last weekend. My partner is a nurse and is working today. I’m home alone with the kids. The 2yo is sleeping and the 5yo is drawing next to me while we listen to TSwift and I read AS. A nice afternoon respite in a high expectation day. Later I’ll make microwave popcorn and put on a G rated movie.

  59. Today I have to see my homophobic aunt and uncle for the first time in several years and I am dreading it. I am not out to them and have no desire to be, and queer topics probably won’t even come up (I hope), but I will still be sitting there remembering the dinner where they ranted about “gays trying to shove their deviant lifestyle down our throats.” I will sing Lily Allen’s “Fuck You” song in my head, because I am super mature like that.

  60. Got home about a week ago from where I go to school 9 hours away and the family has been, for the most part, great! This is the first Christmas I’m out to my immediate family, and they’ve been fab! Going down to NYC tomorrow to see the rest of my giant, right-of-moderate, Italian Catholic family, so that should be entertaining…I’m not out to them, and my cousins are oh so not sensitive to politically charged issues and were very homophobic when I saw them 2 months ago for my grandfather’s funeral…should be fun…

    Fuck if I care, my brother gave me Pokemon alpha-sapphire for Christmas, so I’ll be drowning their noise down Victory Road. Happy Holigays to all, and to all a good night.

    • Drowning their noise down Victory Road, heck yes! I like your attitude. I wish you the best of luck during the holidays!

  61. Christmas itself was fine and pretty mellow. Xmas eve was kind of crappy. Got into a fight with parents, who don’t respect my boundaries. Felt bad about getting upset. Watched old episodes of queer as folk and tried to forget. On the other hand today my stocking was full of fun socks and masculine accessories so that turned it around a bit. Happy holigays.

  62. Christmas for me was…it was the new normal, which is usually stressful. My parents are about two and a half years post-divorce and they’re still fighting over stuff like cake plates, and still putting me and my sister in the middle. I am also pretending to be asleep (at the age of 26) so I can hide from my mom and her boyfriend and read AS. I regret nothing.

    On a happier note, I have successfully set up the greatest Christmas gift I’ll ever give. I am turning my apartment into a blanket fort and giving the gift of being a kid again to my sister. She won’t get it until next week due to timing, but it comes with lunchables, so I think it’s fair.

    • Freakin’ RAD Christmas gift! That’s super sweet of you to do that for your sister. c’: I hope the rest of the holidays go well for you. Best of luck~

  63. My holigays are going well!

    Yesterday I went to a cousin’s party. It was awkward as usual. Family parties always remind me that, yes, I am such an introvert. It was also awkward because I’m vegetarian and I felt bad for turning down 99% of the food. I don’t like it when family members ask me “why are you vegetarian?” because I hate explaining myself cuz I suck at talking and yeah.
    But when I got home, my lil bro and I baked gingerbread cookies for SANTA!! c: And this morning I got lots of wonderful gifts. Mainly giftcards and cash, but that’s my favorite stuff. Oh and a new phone! Nothing fancy, but it’s better than my last one. And tomorrow I will bake some cinnamon buns, as me and my lil bro hang out!

    Also I miss my friends, so hopefully I can visit them soon. Happy holigays, everyone~

    • Yay! Good to hear that you had a positive holiday!
      Little brothers are the best! It’s awesome that you have a happy relationship with him. My younger brother is visiting from college too, so I got to hang out with him over Christmas too and will probably visit some more next week. :)

      • Hehe, thank you so much!! You’re seriously too sweet, like dang.
        And yesss, lil bros! I’m glad that you have a good relationship with your brother, also. I hope you continue to enjoy each other’s company!

  64. Guys, Merry Christmas, guys! I’ve been really enjoying meditation and reading my Buddhist meditation books. Likewise, a couple days after the open thread takes place, I brew a pot of tea and I start reading the comments in reverse order, bottom up, because I feel that the people at the end get less feedback because they were late, but need it almost more, because they/we are late and still wanted to send our stories out there. So if you’ve got a lot going on, and nobody comments, remember that us lurkers support you, and that’s what the thumbs up is for on the upper right side. ;)

    This happened (!):
    Because my brother in law is thoughtful and sweet. My list of wishes included a fancy shirt from Snorg and a membership to Autostraddle. He got me neither because he wanted his gift to be “more thoughtful than something off a list,” and did this!

    So lovely. I had an interesting holiday. No alcohol this year. Normally there’s beer and wine. My family, absolutely without discussion, didn’t drink because I can’t. My mom brought two bottles of sparkling wine and that was that. Like, “of course we’re not gonna drink, stupid, it’s hard for you to be around, didn’t you know?”. It made me so very happy. I love my family. In other news, my dad is leaving my mom for another woman – any other woman, as it turns out – and I was the only one who knew. So glad there was no alcohol around! :) I’ve been following a few simple ideas that I know by heart from, “Buddha in Blues Jeans,” and I want to share them here:

    When you get distracted, focus on the simplest part of being alive – your breath.

    Listening is kindness

    Listen to words. Listen to the experience behind the words.

    Thoughts are just your thoughts. They are not your life. They are your thoughts. Belief is only thought.

    Give thoughts room. Make a room in your mind as big as the sky, and let your thoughts be clouds that pass through.

    Events are not our ideas about them.

    Pain is natural. Relax into it.

    Benefit life.

    There is only now. Get connected now.

    Peace and love, my lovelies!

  65. It’s the day after Christmas and I’m currently sitting in my living room, overthinking stupid things. Christmas Day was spent with my mom and my brand new step father, both of whom are pretty awesome.

    But of course I’m not focusing on that, am I? I’m totally focused on the friend I’ve had for a long time, who lives like 700 miles away from me. Last weekend, I drunkenly admitted to her that I might maybe think about her in more than just friend ways. The upside? She told me the feeling is mutual. The downside? EVERYTHING ELSE.

    She lives 700 miles away. She is casually seeing someone where she lives, and while she insists that its totally a casual dating situation and they are not like, together or anything, that person actually lives in the same city, and is beautiful, and in my mind, 1000 times a better dating option than me. She is talking about coming to visit me, which would be awesome. But it won’t happen for like, two months. A lot can change in two months, especially when you have someone sitting right in front of you.

    And then, yesterday, all I got was a single, not personalized, “Merry Christmas” text. She didn’t answer the phone when I called her. Didn’t call me back. Never answered any of my texts.

    Two weeks ago, this would not have registered as much of anything to me. It’s Christmas, she’s busy with family, whatever. But now, I’m overthinking every possible reason she would be avoiding me. It was enough to distract me from enjoying my Christmas yesterday, and I woke up thinking about it.

    I think this crush was more fun when it was innocent, meaningless text-flirting, while we both pretended that we didn’t actually like each other that way.

    Merry Christmas.

  66. I am at home right now, during a lull in the family festivities. I have family visiting and there’s going to be a constant low-level state of chaos until they go home. I’m also considering coming out to my mom because I actually can’t stand it anymore. I think she’d take it well but I also don’t want to add to her stress because about 50 million things are happening right now/

  67. oh my god I’m so late to this open thread but. 2 things. 1, I woke up at 9 this morning, opened my laptop, started playing my brand-new copy of Gone Home, and I didn’t stop until 2:30 when I was done. So that was awesome. It was really queer and cute and there were SECRET PASSAGEWAYS.

    Also! My girlfriend is coming to visit me at my parents’ house tomorrow! Tomorrow! I haven’t seen her in a few weeks and soon we will be IRL KISSING again!

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