Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
Feature image of Marii Marrs via womenofcolor.tumblr.com.
![from loanlyish](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/silver-saje.png?resize=640%2C638)
from loanlyish
+ Just because you’ve never loved masturbating doesn’t mean you’ll never love masturbating, you feel me? (Um, you?) If you’re trying to masturbate for the first time, it’s okay to feel like you’re starting late in life, like you don’t know what to do or that you’re getting distracted (it’s normal you’re normal):
“Try not to think about orgasm at first. Yes, I see what I’m doing here: I’ve hyped up the orgasm-inducing benefits of masturbation, and now I’m telling you not to focus on orgasming when you masturbate. Before you write me off as a nonsensical idiot (my degree is in reverse psychology!), allow me to explain. Being entirely focused on orgasm creates a whole lot of pressure, and makes it harder to enjoy your experience in the moment. It prevents you from giving yourself the freedom to explore what feels good, and can make you feel like a “failure” for going through the trial-and-error that’s inherently a part of learning how to masturbate. Masturbation isn’t like cleaning your house; it’s not a horrible chore that only becomes enjoyable once you feel like you’ve accomplished something. It should feel pleasurable throughout, and that pleasure is what you should focus on.”
![Zahra Stardust and Callum Jones via pinklabel.tv](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/zahra-stardust-and-callum-jones-via-pinklabel.tv-2.jpg?resize=600%2C332)
Zahra Stardust and Callum Jones via pinklabel.tv
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller writes about sexual identity, being attracted to the people you’re attracted to in the way you’re attracted to them, going to pride for the first time and lady-dating secrets:
“If you’re less scared because other people will know that you’re queer and more scared because OMG HOW DO I DATE A GIRL, let me reassure you: there are no lady-dating secrets that everyone but you has already mastered. We all pretty much start from scratch every time we get with a new person. Just be as kind and as honest as possible. Things will either work out or they won’t, but as long as you’re not egregiously unfaithful or abusive, it’s mostly out of your hands. Sometimes the kind of intense attraction you’re talking about grows into real long-term love. Sometimes it doesn’t. All you can do is wait and see.”
![Candice Kelly via colorandcurves](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/candice-kelly-via-colorandcurves.jpg?resize=427%2C640)
Candice Kelly via colorandcurves
+ Here is how to hook up with your friends.
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen wrote about HPV.
+ Do not have sex on the beach.
+ Bisexual OkCupid may or may not exist.
+ The Cut’s sex diaries series is back for the summer! The first one is about a straight lady but features a lot to identify with, such as “I pretty much masturbate daily. (The perks of freelance.) Today I’m at the apartment, in our bedroom. I always lock the front door, just in case. Helps me melt into the moment.”
![Tiah Echhardt via thelingerieaddict](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Tiah-Eckhardt-via-thelingerieaddict.tumblr.png?resize=460%2C640)
Tiah Echhardt via thelingerieaddict
+ It is possible to enjoy sex after giving birth but you need to have it nine times first.
+ It is also possible to enjoy sex before giving birth, though it might be hard to find other gay/bi/queer single pregnant ladies to get down with:
“I’ve always been bi, and I’ve had relationships over the years with men and women; I didn’t expect my own pregnancy to open up this sudden, powerful corner of attraction, but it did. I was lucky enough to have a very healthy, mild pregnancy, with no morning sickness or complications. I was enjoying my body like crazy, and felt sexier than ever.
And, pregnant, I couldn’t stop noticing how hot other pregnant women were. They were curvy, they exuded fierce strength, they seemed irresistible to me. I wanted to be with one. I fantasized about us pressing those new curves up against each other, exploring our now bigger (and much more sensitive) breasts, and just generally seeing how much fun two pregnant bodies could share.”
![Lea T via madeinbrazilblog](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Lea-T-via-madeinbrazilblog.com_.jpg?resize=640%2C428)
Lea T via madeinbrazilblog
+ There are only a few days left to support Shine Louise Houston’s QWOC porn project! Visit her campaign or read about it on Autostraddle.
+ There are also only a few hours left to help Courtney Trouble with tuition for her MFA!
![via rodeoh](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/tumblr_mthxsl44pR1qefrloo2_1280.jpg?resize=640%2C964)
via rodeoh
+ Kinkly has some advice on finding (recognizing?) a good dominant or a good submissive, and while I think it’s silly to say that the details should be the same for everyone, largely, communication, setting and enforcing boundaries and keeping safety in mind are key. (Not mentioned: you should also probably be interested in playing with the same things and having the same sort of relationship.)
![via](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/blackandcurvy.tumblr.jpg?resize=426%2C640)
via
+ Chatbots that are good at talking dirty are coming, will help you come. According to Paul Andrew, one person behind Erotic Chatbots Inc:
“Basically, we will give them a really good grounding, and then the chatbot learns. Once they have a vocabulary, once they have a basic brain, they grow themselves. They’re quite competent. […]
What I would hope is that people who already have partners can explore things [with the chatbot] and then approach their partner. Hopefully it’s not a one-way solitary thing. I hope people will be able to explore their sexuality in general and then take that into the real world, when they feel comfortable.”
![erikalynn424 via prettyplussize](https://www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/erikalynn424-via-prettyplussize.tumblr-1.jpg?resize=427%2C640)
erikalynn424 via prettyplussize
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
The pictures this week…wow!
A sea goddess and an adonis in one post.
That Bisexual OKCupid piece was one of the most frustrating things I’ve read in a while.
Care to elaborate?
It basically laid out all of the things that are stacked up against me when I say I’m bisexual and queer… and I guess I expected to come out of it feeling better about how I label myself, but I didn’t.